the TRAD HUSBAND to FAMILY ANNIHILATOR pipeline

[@therealmanifestelle]

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[@khuzeniblue9109]

Nm.

[@yungembarrassment619]

Just left my husband who almost ended my OWN life. I was kind of a trad wife too thank god he showed his true colors BEFORE we had kids!

[@ravnidara]

glad u escaped

[@belaytriks]

Hope you can go away and heal in a safe enviroment.

[@4blueland]

Whew! So glad you got free ❤❤❤

[@minorcadence1]

Glad we are not watching your true crime ep, girl. Stay safe out there.

[@Shivafiregoddess]

So, so glad you made it out! Take your time healing, I hope your life is nothing but incredible after this!❤

[@damascus9876]

As someone who spent WAY TOO MUCH MONEY on a biology degree with a focus on evolutionary science and phylogeny, I will preach until I die: lack of empathy is not a flex. It’s the most dangerous thing for our species period. We have evolved no natural defense against the dangers of the outside world. We only have our minds. And critical thinking and problem solving is most effective when you have the greatest variety of minds available to effectively come up with the best possible solution. We Need To Cooperate To Survive. It’s why we literally invented society. To lack empathy is to lack the ability to fundamentally connect to your fellow humans at the most basic level. It goes against everything that allowed our species to survive and get to this point. Lack of empathy is, realistically, the most likely growing trend that could destroy our society and our species.

[@dtb8663]

This is really really interesting if also kind of chilling. This makes a ton of sense

[@roccch]

THIS

[@ia7072]

Agreed 👍🏻 I just saw a video of graper who don't even have empathy for their victims while the man ask them if they think about the psychologycal effect and they only respond about how fearful they are about getting arrested. They only think about themselves and nothing about their victims.
It's scary and if no one protect and respect other people, then civilization fall...

[@indigoneutral]

You're spitting straight facts. I've noticed nem have a tendency to search for differences and disparities between themselves and others. It's like they've become wired and brainwashed for hyper competitiveness and hierarchy. All that must stem from a lack mindset... There's no cure for that void of "I'm not enough" or "I don't have enough". The Void would just dominate them completely. Disturbing. Women, on the other hand, tend to look for similarities, to form olive branches. I'm not saying the pickmeishas don't pit women against each other for competition for nem, but generally speaking, women connect and cooperate when sharing a goal. Nem share goals, but they're always trying to maneuver to the top. It's always a power struggle.

[@teresamagnusson]

​@@indigoneutralWe evolved to cooperate. Lack of cooperation is just self deletion.

[@notsosweetlemons2078]

Thats why I get the ick when men say they want kids for their ”legacy”. These men don’t see you or your kids as individuals, only an extension of themselves

[@SnuSnuDungeon]

​@@odd8716it's not a legacy to have kids, it's a lineage. If having kids was enough to establish a lasting legacy it would be more laughable than your comment

[@amberinthemist7912]

​@@cmm5542they want to not be objectified by men. Women do not call children their legacy, only a certain type of man who does not view women as equal.

[@LoveLife-oo9cz]

I don't call my child my "legacy" only narcissists do this. My child is my child, I have an obligation toward him by taking care of him. My husband never calls his son "legacy" either. He knows I don't want another child, and he doesn't pressure me into it.
What legacy? Do they know the names and stories of their great great great grandparents and siblings along with cousins of 5 generations above them? I doubt it. It's all about mentality.

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

I honestly wonder if the only good parents ARE accidental parents. Having a child intentionally implies that sensation of desiring a genetic legacy. Otherwise they would adopt.

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

Accidental parents are more likely to understand their role of subservience to the child, they have guilt, they apologize to their kids. Meanwhile parents with planned kids expect to be worshiped, they think their kids should apologize to them.

[@viridianacortes9642]

If no fault divorce is ended, I won’t get married in the USA. I won’t get married to an American period. Screw it. I won’t be married. If they try to force me, I’ll run away.

[@nadine4634]

I've never dated an American 😅..fear of culture clash. Domestic violence is prevalent in American culture. It's terrifying.

[@Confessions089]

I'm right there with you.

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

I was iffy about getting married before, but I’m with you. If this happens, it’s a hard no from me.

[@natcl9974]

Never really cared for marriage and with how things are going, I believe it will never happen in this lifetime or I get with a lawyer and have a ironclad legal document that’ll protect me.
I wanted to say that I used to people watch ( I wrote a lot and watching people and their mannerisms made describing actions easier this way) and the common folks I saw walking side by side and just not looking at all fulfilled were usually married couples. He looked disinterested in his wife- most times- and she looked like she was accepted her fate with a big rock on her finger and a child holding her hand only because society told her to accept it. I often wondered what were her dreams because it obviously was not being married to an emotionally unavailable man dubbed as ‘husband’

[@FocusedFighter777]

Im not marrying anyway, period.

[@LLOriginal]

After getting divorced from my ex husband who wanted an "Eisenhower era family" I was living in a tent with my 5 children. Girl watch out.

[@MissAnkh_ah]

Most brutal real and alarming comment ever!

[@daphne-w98]

I’m so sorry, I hope you’re doing better now

[@briskettacos]

Was there no access to a shelter, or transitional housing?

[@LoveLife-oo9cz]

If you were housewife and he has been working. Shouldn't he pay child support and alimony after 10 years of marriage? Some women live together without any marriage license, thinking love is enough, and the guys have no obligations toward them.

[@Butterflier00]

@@bevs9995 you have to apply and that takes time...

[@sliverscreen]

Raised by my widowed grandmother, she taught me to never get caught ‘under a man’s thumb.’ She advocated education and financial independence. I’ve dodged so many bullets with this wisdom.

[@ellebean759]

My grandmother told me, with my grandad sat next to her, "when you go shopping, take the cash out but keep a little saved for yourself every time, in case you need it."
My Grandad (❤ miss you Grandad) sat there nodding along 😅. He was a good man

[@faraboverubieskerry]

You were very lucky to have someone like her. She helped you avoid learning the 'hard way'.

[@damascus9876]

“Women should just stay in marriages even if they’re bad-“ I refuse to put myself in harms way for the comfort of others who clearly don’t care for me. If the choice is between my safety and others feeling uncomfortable, feel uncomfortable.

[@PrincessSharifa434]

Baby, SIT in feeling uncomfortable because that’s not my problem! 🤭🙅🏾‍♀️✨

[@damascus9876]

@@PrincessSharifa434 Exactly 💝

[@inurin1350]

Why hasn’t anyone told these types of men yet to be and stay faithful to their wives even when they get old and unattractive?

[@Cafeallday222]

Exactly 😂 the day some random internet dude working at chipotle’s (or at a hospital, dont care!!) runs my life is never 😂😂😂

[@klaythoring1326]

@@PrincessSharifa434 Whenever someone suggests that it's rude to express discomfort, I wonder why there's consideration for the feelings of someone choosing to make me uncomfortable because they want to be creepy, rather than for me not wanting to be made uncomfortable.

[@om-nj2hw]

What was especially sick about the watts murder case was how many people blamed the wife for her husbands actions. There is no excuses for what he did. Pure evil.

[@aurora8749]

It happens in literally every case where a male victimizes a woman. Society blames the female victims because men are never accountable for their own actions

[@heyizz]

The fact he has so many defenders is proof of Elle's commentary. This is men's silent agreement.
Good men are absolutely disgusted and refuse to call that thing a man.

[@minniemoe4797]

​@@heyizz after the video with Steven Crowder shouting at his pregnant wife was released, thousands of male lemmings left numerous comments about how his pregnant wife was "lazy and demanding" while poor Steven was "misunderstood".

[@reneedennis2011]

@@minniemoe4797 😡😡😡😡

[@Luckimee]

​@@heyizz"good" m3n are quiet when bad things happen and too far in between

[@__Liza__]

I will never forget the day my dad beat me up and almost fractured my arm and I called a college friend who was very religious to ask him for help. He said to stay with my father because the father is the most important figure in the family and that it's a sin and against God to leave my father.

[@amandab5222]

That's awful...As a person of faith I'm not surprised. Don't know that I can trust my community in crisis either. Many people really do believe an abusive father figure is better than none at all. So sorry. ❤

[@unrulycrow6299]

Sounds like your friend forgot the whole part about helping your fellow man .

[@ML-tr1hz]

​@@unrulycrow6299 Key word there: man.

[@jibarabicha4853]

I’m sorry that happened to you. I realized early on that it’s as if religion almost exists to excuse and uphold bad patriarchal practices. It really takes a lot of mental gymnastics for women to stay in the faith.

[@user-wl8mn7mh9o]

Idk if he was Christian but if so, Jesus literally told people to leave their mothers and fathers to follow him soooo… so ridiculous

[@Diligent-Witch]

The husband will always be painted as mentally ill or stressed or backed into a corner instead of being named a butcher, and the women will be blamed for their murder and the murders of her children.

[@attitudeproblem6462]

Yet when Women say they don’t want to marry, then males whine and cry about how they’re being denied “legacy” and “the American dream.”🤨😒🙄

[@natashadickson4819]

Not by me. I blame the husbands.

[@creacher00]

The amount of comments I’ve seen blaming Shannan on videos about Chris Watts are INSANE. Those people need therapy

[@PoisonCleivy]

This comment is so good!

[@SplooTheAlien]

That part! Especially the backed in a corner bs, like you have all the power in the palm of your hand just leave 🤦‍♀️

[@VagabondAnne]

Performing masculinity = maintaining their place in the Patriarchal hierarchy, at any cost (women and children are costs/trophies). If they fail at work (status), they erase their trophies.
Also someone please address the fact that the main cause of death of pregnant women is murder.

[@FocusedFighter777]

All a game to them.
Achievements on playstation

[@hellsbells-b9r]

@@FocusedFighter777 LMAOOOOOO wild but great analogy. To add on, they uninstall the games to erase their trophies they grinded so much to have

[@minniemoe4797]

​​@@FocusedFighter777it's biology. The scientists who reasearched the behaviour of human babies found out that from the age of 3-5 months, baby boys focus their attention on objects, while baby girls focus attention on the faces and facial expressions of adults. So yes, men are created to see the world (including humans around them) as objects.

[@alixdelafortelle856]

Yeah and since men don’t take care of their mental health often when shove comes to push… they snap. When I was a teenager, my best friend was murdered by her dad. He was apparently about to loose his job and revenue as a PhD student for being repeatedly late in handing in his thesis. He killed his wife and two kids and committed suicide. It was so tragic. I remember my friend fondly, she was so kind and smart. She deserved to live her life, as did her brother and her Mom.

[@Yourrrr]

The first sentence is sadly too too true and I’m so sorry for your loss - tragic isn’t a strong enough word to encompass how horrible this is

[@rahamaahmed8482]

When push comes to shove lol but you are correct definitely!

[@FocusedFighter777]

But W are the "emotional" types, huh....
This is one of the biggest lie invented by M.

[@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty]

It's not just a mental health issue either, because I'm sorry but I would NEVER be so selfish as to decide whether or not someone else's life is worth living after I'VE failed/I'M gone.
I deal with ideation, but taking others down with me is just a level of controlling I couldn't bring myself to.

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

And Therapy doesn't help as much as people say it does. I go to therapy every two weeks but it's just so I don't lose my spot. I get more insight talking to my best friend cuz we talk more often and for longer.

[@stilljocelyn_]

Just a thought why aren’t wives in their 40s-50s promoting this lifestyle. This age group has seen it all, what do they have to say?

[@phtherapyxcast7996]

I have noticed two types of women: those who are bitter about younger women being free and try to push them into misery, and others who dont want to see a new gen of women go through the pain they did.

[@ayyyejesterdazed]

@@phtherapyxcast7996the amount of conflicting viewpoints and misinformation on social media is so hard to sift through. Not fully knowing if something is over embellished satire or an actual true representation of their lives. Ughhh

[@hevabmore]

​@phtherapyxcast7996 I am the second group. 46 y.o. I don't want my younger sisters to get caught up and become wife appliances that are easily replaced by newer models. Of course not all men but WAY TOO MANY don't see women as humans with our own needs. They see us as tools to benefit them.

[@beepbopboop7727]

@@ayyyejesterdazedThere are plenty of ex tradwives that are talking about it. Just research financial abuse too. Its not so hard to filter through the noise tbh.

[@marte1376]

​@@hevabmore the point is, how do you advice younger women?
Usually the older ladies that are beyond 30 sometimes hate on ladies that are pretty to get what they want. They tell you to only focus on your job, instead of also choosing correctly a man and his resources and his ambition so you can thrive. That's the point of this, I mean, this is not a channel for "strong independent women that don't need and don't want men"
Here we believe that men should exist in our lives to make it better, that's why we need to choose strong, masculine and gentlemen providers.
Does that make sense?
Many ladies don't give good advice as well, because they're projecting the things they couldn't do and it's all about work, and it may be unfair for a young lady listen to a woman that got married and had kids but she doesn't want you to do it just because she didn't choose wisely. I don't know, so confusing but I don't trust those ladies that much.

[@ALDCStarMom]

My ex tried to get me to delete myself after our daughter was born. He gaslit me into thinking my family would be better off without me, and when i went to get mental health care, he got an emergency custody order and took her. Still trying to get her back and never EVER going to trust a man that far again

[@buuny2233]

Do you know if he was cheating or was 🏳️‍🌈? because you are not a isolated case, cheaters or 🏳️‍🌈 men tend to drive their wives into insanity or sewrslide in order to make room for the new partner. And use their wife's new mental instability against her to keep the children away from the her.

[@aimforlifenow]

honestly despicable he said all of that on purpose… sinister that was his plan the entire time. I’m sorry sister, hope you get everything you want and more soon.

[@meganbrooks7370]

​@@buuny2233are y'all obsessed with LGBTQ+ community? People share their trauma and y'all ask questions like that. It's second comment that I see under traumatic experience with y'all thoughts on LGBTQ+ community... Like what the hell??

[@meganbrooks7370]

I'm so sorry. I know that there are a lot people who care about you and I'm glad you're alive. I'm sending you love. Stay strong and take care of yourself 💕

[@buuny2233]

@@meganbrooks7370 Not obsessed, but every group has its bad apples and they often still use and abuse women for their own selfish purposes gay or straight, it is a thing that happens.

[@DragonRose610]

A study should be done to see how many trad wives are replaced by a younger women when they get into their 30’s. I know 3 women who had that outcome.
Be careful women, if your man’s main criteria is having a pretty women at home waiting for him, you will be replaced one day. Make sure you have your own money, and education and skills for a job. One of my friends had to live in her car for a few months, and could only see her kids for a few hours since she didn’t have a home for them. Please don’t put yourself in that situation.

[@nightwishisthegreatestband6355]

Damn, 30s!? Usually it's in the 40s and up.

[@heartofchambers]

@@nightwishisthegreatestband6355 yeah what the hell

[@beepbopboop7727]

@@nightwishisthegreatestband6355Yep its usually when a woman goes through menopause.

[@marte1376]

I feel like this statement has also been used to scare ladies to not choose men for their resources. Like, you're gonna be replaceable for him, instead choose the mediocre guy who has nothing to offer you but "is a good person and loved you".
I think we need to be very critical of those aspects. Red pillers excuse in that statement.

[@Nunya8523]

This. 39 going through a two year long divorce after 17 years of marriage. Alllll of this.

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

I had a neighbor who unalived his kids, his wife, and then himself just because he lost his job. Cops and reporters were around their house for days

[@goldensloth7]

jfc

[@MariLionheart]

I wish he went to a psychiatric therapist before doing that, thats tragic

[@smileyglitter852]

Women avoid marriages at all costs, it's a zero sum game ..The state should not be involved.

[@lilithrealm]

@@smileyglitter852now I understand why cousin who looks like a supermodel avoids marriage like a plague

[@Dll5749]

@@smileyglitter852marriage is just too dangerous and not beneficial at all

[@BSwims777]

The thing that really gets me is that the "trad wife" phenomenon is so misleading. A traditional wife needs a traditional husband, and together they share equal burden of taking care of each other and their family. The Instagram trad wives don't show any of the compromises and sacrifices that the average traditional woman makes let alone the hard labor it requires. I should know; my mom is one of those real traditional women. She just so happened to have chosen an amazing, dedicated man who loves her deeply even almost thirty years into their marriage.
But if you choose wrong, the consequences are, to put it mildly, radically life altering.

[@NalloryLove]

I agree with this. Choosing the wrong partner no matter the situation for the man or the woman is a recipe for disaster. More than anything I am realizing how many women have married men that just don’t love them. That is the root of most of these issues. They barely love themselves. 😢

[@rensii-e8b]

@@NalloryLove yessss

[@notsosweetlemons2078]

@@BSwims777 also, which is very important to point out, these trad wife influencers are INFLUENCERS. They are literally working from home making money by their social media presence. A regular one income family would have a much harder time living up to the lifestyle shown in these videos. Especially in this economy…

[@chrystianaw8256]

​@@NalloryLove😢

[@loriwilson2569]

That’s so true. And the sad thing is “traditional” marriages are often starting when the woman is young, young. How many of us made a mistake at 17, 18 years old? Everyone makes mistakes at that age but if it’s the wrong spouse, that one mistake will form the rest of your life.

[@uqox]

We watch true crime content because we're not stupid. We know how to data mine. True crime content trains our brain to acknowledge our intuition instead of ignoring red flags.

[@jiliciar.1423]

Hm, this is interesting, I never thought of it that way. I might start listening to true crime stories now.

[@brunaamorim20]

Mainly when the whole society is gaslighting us into thinking we are being unreasonable or crazy

[@BlueJay-qj1rm]

It can be very informative! Sometimes it can feel like fear mongering but at the same time it is reality, and being informed can be life changing.

[@beepbopboop7727]

Yep, so many women watch true crime as a way to learning how to protect yourself from male murderers.

[@solynaah]

​@@Rebelnutt brother ewww 🤮

[@ethxo6734]

After I broke up with my ex who would threatened me with unaliving himself for years, he stalked me and tried love bombing me with gifts.
I blocked him on everything but he’d still show up at my house. He asked a weird question, if there was any chance I was pregnant and I told him no. He looked disappointed and then left.
A few months later he assaulted me at gun point, I was able to get away but he unalived himself once police closed in on him.
That question, should have been a red flag but at the time I just thought he was grasping at straws. Hoping you ladies can learn from my experience.

[@gypsylee333]

Ok I know this is kinda random, but your comment made me think about the extreme left transgender "community" where all of them have started threatening society with unaliving themselves if we don't do what they want politically, "if trans kids can't have puberty blockers they'll unalive, if men can't play in women's sports they'll unalive etc". And I've seen a lot of cases of trans violence lately, just like a couple days ago a teen girl k1lled her parents because they didn't want to transition her enough to her demands. Seems to be some kind of causation/correlation between threatening scide and violent attacks on loved ones.

[@meganbrooks7370]

I'm so sorry that it has happened to you. I'm glad you'll alive. It's scary situation, but thanks for sharing. It can help us to avoid red flags. Sending you love ❤️

[@meganbrooks7370]

​@@gypsylee333what the hell? A person literally sharing theirs traumatic expirence... Um... Time and place, buddy

[@gypsylee333]

@@meganbrooks7370 the time and place is that we're here talking about how to save our own lives, and what signs we should take as serious red flags to our safety. Seems clear threatening scide is one across the board. I don't care about your woke pearl clutching, leftists always care about feelings hurt over safety and prosperity, I'm sick of it.

[@seleciaa]

Oh my gosh... So glad you're okay

[@ashleywanner4656]

My mom's boyfriend puts all these men to shame. He is divorced and will make sure to spend time with his son. He also pays my mom rent and actively tells my mom, sister, and I that if our biological father was to find us, his dad, brothers, and him would protect us, and gives us tools to protect ourselves.

[@PrincessSharifa434]

Ohhhh we need more men like him in the world. You all are truly blessed! 🙏🏾✨✨

[@dedcoyt3437]

Why ur step dad's moral mopust so rare?

[@minorcadence1]

It's absolutely not all men, and 'good men' are just as far removed from the shitty ones as women are in ideology/values/lifestyle.
As Elle has said multiple times, 'Good men' get the ick from toxic men and try to avoid them at all costs. I have seen this to be true in my own experiences.
I am trying to explain to my wonderful husband that he has more ability to affect positive change for women than I ever will, because he can peer pressure men at work, etc, into *at the very least* not outwardly disrespecting women around him. So by choosing to avoid the ick men he is losing an opportunity to create change and show other men that their values will no longer be tolerated.
This is how I can try to change the culture from a powerful position of powerlessness: One person at a time.

[@nomg563]

I would rather have the risk of losing a job than put my life squarely in a man's hands and expect him to maintain my wellbeing. Such stories remind me to always focus on myself and create a stable foundation so I don't need to put up with any dude's problems.

[@Melly16yr10]

Well said 😁

[@user-xz8fw1rr7q]

I honestly saw it stinks pretty bad from the second I heard about all those "trad wife" shit. But maybe I know history too well and I'm autistic, or both. I'm not blaming the victims for lies and abuse they're facing.

[@heyemichu]

Men need to stop overly obsessing over women and start focusing on each other

[@marte1376]

They don't obsess over us. It's all about power

[@PrincessSharifa434]

The obstacle here is that they can’t exist without us. 🤷🏾‍♀️
It angers them that women can lead perfectly happy and healthy lives without them. Meanwhile, *some* men have unalived themselves over lack of s*x and access to women. And, of course, we make the best CEO’s and individual contributors at work. They *need* us.
That said, there needs to be a way to tie success and desires to emotional intelligence. Because men see success as the end all be all gateway to access to women, there’s no incentive for them to actually work on themselves as well.

[@heyemichu]

@@marte1376 this feels right, unfortunately

[@heyemichu]

@@PrincessSharifa434 soo true 😭 couldn’t have said it better 👏🏻✨

[@nephtalie5889]

I have been saying this forever !!!

[@LammyHowl]

I grew up in a home with a stay-at-home mom, and I figured out as a little girl I did not want that for myself. Nothing turns girls into feminist women like living under patriarchy. Don't settle for a man who won't pay. 💅

[@loosilu]

Same. I said HELL no. 56 now and thank God every day.

[@issecret1]

Well, don't settle into needing any man to pay. Not being a doormat is not being a parasite

[@IDONTGIVEAF-ew6bw]

But that’s exactly what a stay at home mom does tho???

[@nadine4634]

​@IDONTGIVEAF-ew6bw what did your mother do when she was home with you?

[@zellalaing5439]

My mum was a say at home mum, but totally on the basis my dad was the higher earner and they wanted to have one of them stay at home. I was actually very pro the "traditional" lifestyle growing up because i saw it from a non-toxic way, my parents massively respected one another and it totally works for them, however, growing up ive realised unfortunately they are more of an exception than the rule - not that any of that matters now I know im aspec 😂😂

[@amyadams9970]

The funny thing is, I wouldnt mind being a trade wife myself, I do have dreams of raising a family. However I never understood why some of these trad wifes shame women for working and not getting with a husband and blaming feminism as the reason we have to work. As if women of color and poor women weren't working at that time. Like shaming someone for working to survive, that's wild to me

[@iceprincess2134]

The biggest complaint many have is the they were raised in an environment that treated being a SAHM as a regressive, unacceptable choice, and even if they did make that choice anyway they were hamstrung in that endeavor by having to commit a lot of time, energy, and money on a professional path that they ultimately either didn't take anyway. That's also not even including those that feel like they have to stick with the professional path because they have committed so much to it that they can't switch paths.

[@thekindredstoil]

It's for views, aka a cash grab

[@brandy4530]

A lot of the tradwives are religious, and they never really had the option of even considering doing anything else. In most of these religions, “housewife” is the spiritual calling of all women, and they don’t like seeing people not following their religion. Then there are women who do this and they want to surround themselves with people like them, in order to feel like their choice is valid. When a tradwife shames women for not choosing this lifestyle, it is because of an insecurity on their part. I am a SAHM, and have been for years, but I’m not religious, and I do not expect anyone live the way I live. I totally support working moms. In fact, most of the moms I know are working moms. They are rock stars, and they inspire me.

[@suzy1750]

@@iceprincess2134 There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM. But women need to have some way to support themselves and their children that isn't entirely dependent on the goodwill of a man. It doesn't have to be a demanding professional career that needs years of training and education - it could be some sort of certificate that, if needed, the woman could dust off, and use to get work for herself and her children if needed. It's not regressive to think that is the responsible thing for any adult woman to do for her own sake as well as for any kids she might have.

[@marte1376]

It's not shaming women for working, it's just funny how women preach about only working and that's the only acceptable way to get money when you can be still be provided in other forms. Maybe it's not morally correct but some women refuse to get the help of a man, when there's nothing wrong with it
Usually very radical feminist shame women who do sexual labour or if it's only a lady that is with a man and uses his resources to thrive in this society.
In this channel Elle says it, don't get mad, get paid and a man should make your life better.

[@ania1418]

This topic really hits home. I grew up in the traditional household however my father failed to provide for us and became emotionally abusive. Lesson - always have plan B and extra money to escape. Relying fully on a man can truly destroy woman's life 😔

[@coramarie8137]

LACK OF EMPATHY IS NOT A FLEX

[@EmilyFoxSeaton]

Agree completely. I work in criminal justice and so many women and children are being destroyed. Where is the national organization for women? No women ever get arrested for crimes, unless, and usually this is the case... a man is involved. Either the man leaves them high and dry leading to criminal behavior or the man is a criminal and forces the girlfriend to be involved. Where is the anger?

[@catcat9582]

Maybe everyone is too traumatized or fearful of the response to have righteous action based anger? I know i have been there

[@o.m9514]

Exactly!

[@lovelover4408]

@@Rebelnuttlol male spotted

[@Shtickyaight]

Yea disghust

[@louhortonsculpture]

😦

[@Voyeurrrr]

I’m facing this right now.. I have a 6 yr old and newborn twins. Husband is falling apart, won’t find work, is depressed and ashamed.. and slowly resenting me and our children for it. Scary stuff.

[@anonimus8375]

Be careful sis

[@dorawashere]

please run for the fucking hills. it happened to my big sister and we lost my nephew because of it. please be careful

[@poltergeistghost]

Get out before it’s too late

[@superquasigalaxygamer6297]

Please stay safe dear, do everything in your power to get your family away before things escalate. Sending all my prayers/love to you and your children 🙏❤️

[@arenatyke9957]

Please please be careful and get out of there as soon as possible, I’m so sorry this is happening, sending love

[@capsilanolene9376]

lack of empathy is giving lower form of life.

[@coolbreeze5683]

You look at some of these guys and they're literally blank behind the eyes. Even most animals have a spark of understanding in their eyes when you look at them.

[@MariLionheart]

Oh if only you knew...

[@capsilanolene9376]

@@MariLionheart developp please

[@uniquenewyork3325]

The thing is, many people lack empathy. Autistic women often struggle to show empathy. But they're socialized to at least ask or infer the feelings of others. If the issue was truly that they cant feel empathy, that can be fixed. The issue is that they don't care.

[@kantik2118]

I've noticed this too with too many men. It's like a different form of life: they don't have morals, they don't protect or provide, of course, have no empathy (emotional intelligence). They can only mirror some learned behaviours.
They also lack the capacity to have a long term vision.
Very emotional (don't know how to manage their emotions and basic instincts) and are one task only. They can't multi task.
It's kinda annoying because in family setting or a corporation, they will make harmful decisions, out of cruel intentions or just because they don't see consequences.
When left alone and without women to raise them or guide them, they absolutely can't take the right direction so they kinda spiral and end up completely mad, in those streets. Unaliving, threatening people.
It's in their eyes and I've really noticed that if a woman don't give them her life force and energy, they are kinda low value beings.
Look closely and imagine them without a woman, mother, GF.
Tell me, what are they capable of without a woman?

[@user-we8cf4kh3l]

This channel is such an investment. The amount of women out there who just don’t get told these things, myself included, and have been going on living in shame for the benefit of people who want to see us suffer is insane. I’m thankful there’s someone out there who is well-spoken, thoroughly researched and will tell us what we need to hear. Thank you

[@beatrizrosa2272]

You put exactly into words how many of us feel about Elle

[@peppermintmatcha1179]

Yes, elle is such a blessing. Me being guided to her channel was one of many many good things to happen in my life. My confidence has improved so much spending time here❤✨✨

[@Neo_Geisha]

Agreed.

[@michaeljohnson-ym8zp]

If these politicians want to ban no fault divorce then women should have full and complete access to their husbands phone and social media accounts. If women have to prove the legitimacy of their divorce petitions, we need ways to establish a paper trail. Let’s go!

[@heyizz]

Except they wouldn't do that, citing "privacy" because THEY KNOW their kind are the way they are, and it would undermine the entire point of getting rid of "no fault" divorce.

[@malindaallen718]

Just dont marry.

[@heyizz]

@@malindaallen718 are you so dim you miss the end goal will be forced marriage?

[@fictionlover695]

​@@heyizz maybe ....but women may go on strike from work...forced marriage cannot feasibly function unless its the rural areas

[@amberinthemist7912]

​@@fictionlover695single women who go on strike from work to avoid forced marriage will eat how? I don't think you understand how this would work.

[@M-WG]

I saw a man jump from an overpass almost killing the people below driving under (like me) and while pulled over calling 911 I wondered what he did. My family thought I was so cruel for saying that until we found out what he did. He’d unalived his wife and was awaiting trial OUT ON BOND!

[@heyizz]

ON BOND stg society has more tolerance for literal murderers than regular women

[@namiichinamin8843]

My family is Christian and it's crazy how many Christians are telling women to stay in abusive marriages instead of HOLDING THE F*ERS ACCOUNTABLE. A husband is supposed to love his wife enough to give his life for his wife if needed, like Jesus did for the church.
And the very same people dare to ask me why I choose singledom 🙄

[@c.v.3025]

OMG YES! Or the people who tell the women “well you’re not going to change him by yelling or arguing back- just pray for him. God had to change his heart. Even though he’s not acting like a Godly husband, doesn’t mean you need to stop acting like a Godly wife-“ so you mean he gets to reap all the benefits of having a servant-mindset wife, while not acting like the husband she deserves? But you can bet the hammer will come crashing down on her the moment she starts forgoing her “duties” like cooking or sleeping with him, and people will act like that’s a greater sin that more can be done for than DV.

[@2cut32handle]

​@@c.v.3025I too am a Christian & I can tell u that this is 100% spot on the advice they would give to women having a rough time in marriage. They always tell the wives that they are not praying enough rather than telling these men to change & become better people. In their viewpoint, the success of the marriage relies heavily on the woman 😢

[@c.v.3025]

@@cmm5542 I am not saying that we should encourage women to behave a certain way in cases of DV or general mistreatment. No where in what I said am I commanding anyone to do anything. I’m just pointing out something I know gets told to women in churches and is unfair to them. And it’s a general disparity in the church because, (like the other reply mentions) so much emphasis goes to women and how to be Godly wives, to the point where it seems like little girls are getting trained to do that, but then there is no emphasis for boys, so it leaves this sentiment that the success of the marriage relies on the woman. That’s all I said and am saying now.

[@Dhfhucudu]

@@cmm5542​​⁠The fallacy from saying this is that giving back the same consequences to someone isn’t exactly another wrong. You do realize context matters for something being wrong or right? Comparing an abuser’s initial abuse to someone giving it back as “lowering one’s self” is not only highly simplistic not to mention disgusting to treat them as equally wrong, but it is mutually exclusive to not holding the abuser accountable ENOUGH. Your logic only further proves why entities like the Church r disgusting.
It is also highly and I mean HIGHLY redundant to hold an abuser accountable but for less punishment than what they put the victim through. By that logic, why even hold them accountable in the first place? What arbitrary rule is there that makes accountability with certain consequences justifiable but not doing the same thing as what the abuser did? Why is only the prior justified and not included in your logic of “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

[@bro-dy6848]

My mom is a Christian. She decided to tell us at family dinner the “beautiful” story of how one of our aunts used to get tossed around and beaten for years by her husband (our uncle who she still is very much with) and instead of divorcing him she stuck beside him until he “mellowed out” (probably got too old to beat her anymore) and now they have an amazing relationship. She called it a story that shows when relationships get tough you should stick through it and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I sat there mouth agape and soon after I realized some Christians genuinely will defend abusers, rapists, pedophiles, etc. all in the name of family and “Good Christian values”.

[@Mscocoapuffz]

Family annihilators are a lot more common than the average person might think. Anyone who’s watched true crime has come across probably a well-known story in New Jersey of a family annihilator who almost got away with it for two decades back in the 1950s or 60s. Most men who do this are the main breadwinner. There was one recently in Utah probably a few years ago of a man unaliving his whole family, another one of an 82 year-old man who was still working, lost his job and killed his wife and daughter, this happen maybe this month or earlier this year.
I’ve also been noticing an increase of men unaliving their partners if the woman becomes too successful in her life, almost as a way to humble her, they take her life. But with family annihilators, it’s when the man no longer is successful, so he believes his family unit cannot continue without him or his income that he deems it, merciful to end the lives of his family. Regardless, these type of men are deplorable. I don’t hate men and I wish they would just get the help that they need when they’re in tough situations or just view women and children as human beings. I feel like that is the bare minimum

[@xletragedyx]

There was one in Florida, Celebration Village, I think, where he lived with their corpses for weeks until he was caught

[@reneedennis2011]

​@@xletragedyx😳

[@minniemoe4797]

I heard a story from dv interview when an unemployed ex husband regularly came to his ex wife's clothes shop to ruin everything because she was doing well financially while he didn't

[@theagingmillennialvarietyh7751]

So, I am not a straight woman, and I have no desire to have children anytime soon (with or without a partner), but I was raised in a house where the man’s feelings were always so much more important than how my mother or I were feeling. This channel is a godsend, and although some of your lessons don’t necessarily apply to me, the rest is pure wisdom that I can appreciate regardless. So, thank you very much for this 🌸🌸🌸

[@klaythoring1326]

Unpacking that wild display of how women are "overly emotional" while watching women control and deny their emotions and men lose control constantly is a rough time :/

[@EmmatheArcher]

lol, same. I watch this kind of content and think “that god I’m a lesbian” but then it’s also sad as it applies to both my sisters and their abusive ex-husbands.

[@kellharris2491]

Yeah lack of emotion is not the Flex they think it is. It honestly makes you seem to lack basic humanity.

[@klaudiak6615]

My brother went full trad and led our family into a cult. He moved out and we went no contact. Slowly healing now

[@ShekaGolden]

How did he lead the whole family into a cult?

[@minorcadence1]

"I'm a bad Catholic like all of the other Catholics" 😂 As an athiest who went to Catholic school I laughed so hard. That is 100% the Catholic vibe nailed, Elle.

[@SireJaxs]

Yeah yeah we get it “if god good why bad things happen” as if 2,000 years of theology doesn’t have the answer

[@annawhiteley3128]

I'm a childhood family annihilation survivor in my 50's. It's a real thing. I was only 8 and my life has been affected ever since.

[@aweddemigod9956]

My mom told me a few years ago my dad said to her "the only way you're leaving this marriage is feet first through the front door, coronary style." They're still married. No contact is the best thing I've ever done for myself. It's not a matter of if, it's when.

[@stephkais5613]

From what Ive read there are risk factors for family annihilator:
Male age 18-49
Male with self deletion thoughts/atrempts (this was a big risk factor for offing family then self deletion)
Male with history of dv (big risk factor for offing girlfriend/wife)
Male with financial troubles
Male with untreated or undiagnosed mental health issues
Male with hidden addiction
Male with recent job loss
Male going through separation or divorce (another big risk factor)
Male with concerns about loss of social image/status
Family living in rural area
Edit: i didn't expect the last one to be a risk factor but apparently it is. I suspect it is tied to how common "traditional" family roles are in rural settings.

[@DeepThought73]

Hi, could you please share the article you got this from? Would be handy to read it too, thanks so much :)

[@Melly16yr10]

Thanks for the list helpful 😊

[@MagicalIsadore]

I'm from a rural area. Having your nearest neighbor live acres away can make a family feel like they're on an island. When patriarchy comes into play, this can be scary when emotions flare. Depending on the place, emergency resources can take longer to reach you or have a 'small town, good ol' boy' mindset when handling a situation. Also, it's not always easy to just go out with friends or enjoy healthy outlets outside of the home compared to living in a city. Social outlets in rural areas are more likely to revolve around the church. In the USA, gun ownership and addiction are also more prevalent in rural areas. Price of gas in rural areas can be higher with few optios, and that station might be closed during, say, a mother's escape with her kids in the middle of the night.
There is always talk about how crime can be in the cities, but the rural crimes are much more heinous.

[@2cut32handle]

​@@MagicalIsadore Wow I never even thought about all this happening in a rural area. Thanks for sharing ur experience

[@macjrc]

Most likely it’s the isolation factor

[@catcat9582]

I am a child survivor. Please choose wisely, ladies.

[@redgoddess]

Choosing wisely means choosing yourself. These y's are unhinged.

[@dorcaswinter8296]

I’d find your opinion and other child survivors extremely interesting. Because the children’s experience in trad-wive style families is often not heard.

[@arodemidive6195]

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

"Choose wisely"? Really?? Such ignorance and misogyny

[@piesolorosos]

​@@PraiseTheFSMonster its not misogynistic to acknowledge that lots of men are crazy and that we need to be careful
youre doing more harm than good to women

[@EmilyFoxSeaton]

I feel like every woman needs to spend 6 months going to their court systems. Every single day you would see the entire courtlist full of the worst of the worst. True crime? Go to the courthouse and watch.

[@cb4017]

💯💯💯

[@natscrest97]

Ohhh this is a good idea actually thanks!

[@slayfaee]

I worked in a criminal defense law office for only 2 weeks. So many accused rapists and murderers locally and seeing them in office was terrifying. I had to read through docs too and realize there are many predators out there. Not to mention my desensitized coworkers sexually harassing me.

[@slayfaee]

@@me-lr1vsthat boils my blood bc do they expect you to have no empathy and just be a desensitized robot???

[@l9lr.923]

😮👀

[@Pikeya]

"Men didn't become independent of women" that summarises everything so perfectly.

[@minniemoe4797]

They still crave our attention, our gazes, even our annoyed reactions, not even to mention the crave for our bodies, although they will say to us "your ears are too big/your legs are too short"

[@___sena__]

My mom was 17 years old when she had my brother. After giving birth, she stayed at my grandparents for about 2 weeks. My father picked her and my brother up and he was mad at her for staying at my grandparents. On the drive back he tried to kill them by crashing the car. He also beat my mom for 20 years. She finally got a divorce. My mom and brother are fine.

[@MMng411]

I'd say this again, men are not❌ naturally animals/animalistic, they're socialized to be.... Parents and the society can do better!!

[@annebananne6835]

This!

[@2stayweird]

Men think we hate them... No it's because we love them that we want them to do better and be better, because we know they CAN.

[@iaintnoone]

Yeah, some of my dearest friends in years past have been men. They can be great people; however, I’m alarmed at the rise in popularity of podcast bros and worry that a lot of younger men, who are less self-assured and less likely to know who they are, may be falling into the toxic masculinity trap.

[@mimicoolll0]

yes and saying that they are also gives them an excuse!! i’ve seen so many times men are excused from bad behavior because of this.

[@rubypayne4965]

​@@2stayweird Everything is projection with misogynists

[@Jac527]

Ladies, we have choices now. We can perfectly be single and still thrive without a man who will be benefiting from us in the name of marriage. Better safe than sorry.

[@user-wl8mn7mh9o]

A man in my country literally just set his own house on fire with his kids and wife inside. Luckily a neighbour managed to save a few of the children and the wife… the rest burnt to death.
Horrifying. The more I see these men the luckier I feel to have a father who hates these men and is the most wonderful dad.

[@nursefulness2274]

Is having a man a necessary part of life? Or are you just conditioned to feel like you should have one

[@cosmiccrush22]

To you babe, to you.

[@yoholup19]

In scared to ask how many kids didn't make it..

[@user-wl8mn7mh9o]

@@nursefulness2274 I don’t think it’s conditioning. As women, we are biologically predisposed to value relationships. We are biologically programmed to look for and crave security - and we know men can provide a kind of security we cannot give ourselves on our own (I don’t mean to say that they WILL keep us safe, only that they have more ability to protect us than we have to protect ourselves).
This unfortunate predicament means women feel drawn to the very group most dangerous to us. Historically, a woman who did not find a man in fact DID have a difficult time surviving… so in that sense, yes, we needED a man. Thankfully, in the west, this is no longer the case for many women, but we still feel that insecurity that is very hard to surmount without a romantic partner.

[@minniemoe4797]

​@@nursefulness2274in some countries, a woman can not rent a property, drive a car or travel without a male trustee

[@aurus6483]

My parents lived a REAL traditional marriage life in rural Poland. And listen, the men in that community weren't perfect and some are total assholes, but they ARE providers, they ARE protectors, they DO advocate for their families, they will work themselves to the bone for their wives and kids - and at least in my mother's community, there was serious social stigma against family violence because the neighbours were closely-knit and everyone knew each other. Women were also often given gold, expensive plates or jewellery as their own personal possessions. Marriage was a partnership and everyone did what they were supposed to do, to keep life moving. Modern Western men who want tradwives couldn't make a day living that kind of life - they want a servantmom to tell them they're amazing and such a good boy. They don't know the real work and patience and respect it takes for a traditional marriage.

[@user-es7io1no4t]

Yes, and I believe the same is true in many traditional communities. Historically, I believe many men in traditional communities respected women because in short you had to cooperate to simply survive when nature could be so hostile.

[@aurus6483]

@@user-es7io1no4t its true! In remote parts of Poland, summers are beautiful but short, winters are brutal, and springtime is full of mud and hunger. People really needed each other and appreciated each other's work and the effort that went into things. Respect and interdependence were the foundation of community.

[@amphoteric]

videos like this remind me that choosing not to have any sort of relationship with men has been very beneficial for me

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

Almost 30 here, never been in a relationship and don’t desire one. No regrets. So thankful my younger self had the intuition to know, even if I couldn’t verbalize it.

[@FocusedFighter777]

1000%

[@Duhgel]

Legit tho

[@faraboverubieskerry]

Amen!

[@ryss335]

Very Trueee!!!

[@motorcitymangababe]

Also, i feel like the "wont give half your assets up, but youre gonna have none in jail" its not about how much they have to give up- its how much they have to give to a family they have no control over. No money in jail is better than alimony and child support for a woman and children who you dont get to dictate their lives to. Thats what it is. Its spite

[@klaythoring1326]

spite, hatred and cruelty. The inclusion of that factor is missing whenever someone asks why they didn't just get a divorce, or didn't just tell them they lost their job. Now that they're not alive they can't: visibly have a good time, be loved properly, express that they see how powerless/pathetic the annihilator is.

[@vidhyareddyn2714]

Their mindset is so sick. If they don't get more benefits out of someone, they are willing to go to jail. It's not about keeping their wealth, it's about not sharing it with their family at all costs because, they don't want to benefit their family in any way. They are selfish and narcissistic. It's all about their benefits, and they don't get it, no one gets out alive.

[@tamarbatyah7]

🙋‍♀️boy mom. I have 5. I'm doing my best to train them to become the type of boys and men (in the future) this world needs. I'm widowed and tell all my 7 children I'm not feeling hopeful about re-marriage because most men my age have not been brought up right and don't want to do the inner work. Men's mental health as a whole is very bad right now.

[@jinaolen786]

Very much this. My girls and I are doing great on our own ❤

[@AdaireKrickets]

It is so important to show your children that happiness isn't just found in a partner. It's also found in our family and friendships, and ourselves! I hope your boys see that lesson!

[@Svgarcanna]

Why would you do that to yourself

[@vickyvale711]

@@SvgarcannaWhat do you mean? She’s not doing anything wrong?

[@CyrinaSwanston]

This channel has really made me think critically about the situations I've put myself in with men. I've been able to spot red flags more quickly, and feel less guilt over stopping contact with certain men. I really appreciate all the work you do!!!

[@kellharris2491]

Ya you need to check your guilt at the door. Men use your guilt and empathy against you. If someone is men to you keep your distance.

[@emmabernt3239]

Calling hospitals right now for my friends missing sister. Never have met her, but women have to stick together.

[@catcat9582]

Will pray for you. My friend did the same yesterday

[@sadafshahzad8520]

Hope you find her soon.

[@4blueland]

Thank you! 💜🤞🙏🫶🙌

[@NalloryLove]

Pray you find her!! ❤

[@anonymouscausewhynot]

I hope you find her. Wish her the best,

[@Therezumee92]

I am so into true crime because I'm fully aware that men are my natural predator and I need to understand how to protect myself.

[@faraboverubieskerry]

Very wise!! It took me decades to realize this even after being in controlling and psychologically abusive relationships. I was a teen in the 90s with all of the great romantic comedy films, Hallmark movies etc. We were indoctrinated with the "prepare yourself to meet your husband and then your life will start" lie. We were never shown the dark side of the patriarchy

[@decoraqueena6413]

This video immediately reminded me of that doctor who drove himself and family off a cliff. The excuse apparently is "mental illness". Luckily they all survived but sadly the family press charges against him. (face-palm)
The root of this issue is that women and children have always been seen as property and nothing has really changed. Changing laws doesn't mean that the pervasive views of society will change.
These reason why nothing is being done about this problem is because if there are no women for males to take their anger out on, then he'll take ot out on society. We're basically the (unconsenting) designated punching bags for them so that the powers that be can continue to screw over everyone without the threat of revolt.

[@PrincessSharifa434]

THIS! Capitalism only works if the family stays together.
Each passing day, I see that the end game of the powers that be is “The Handmaid’s Tale”..

[@amatulfulani6390]

And the man’s wife doesn’t want him to go to jail as if he’s not a danger to her and their kids.

[@sregan5415]

This is hella insightful and well written for a RUclips comment. Props to you!

[@fictionlover695]

I wish I could have a girl chat with you about this in an underground bunker...you bring interesting points here

[@catcat9582]

Elle I think the book Jesus Feminist would be a great one to breakdown for your channel. He was hated by men because he lifted up women and children. MEN tore out the Mary Magdalene pages from the Bible. He imparted the most important wisdom to her. They also were paid to not paint her at the last supper. Jesus would flip tables on these men now. He would only want us to mary someone ( as the Bible literally says) who is able to love us the way HE loves us and would love us. It is also said a man who does not care for his family is WORSE than a non believer

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

🙌 thanks for the recommendation

[@catcat9582]

Ofc :) I hope you like it. That and the beauty myth are great books

[@chrishenniker5944]

He was just the Charles Manson, David Koresh or Jim Jones of the classical world. He called Pagans “dogs”. When he talked about love, it was between his fellow Jews, not between anyone else.

[@minniemoe4797]

Jesus Christ is the only Man in my life I obey because he sees me as human, not an object✝️

[@faraboverubieskerry]

@@chrishenniker5944 Whaaat? He was not a cult leader or he would have stayed alive a lot longer and had his own compound. He was the opposite of cult leaders and was trying to point out the religious leaders as hypocritical phonies. He wasn't only talking about love with his fellow Jews as most of them turned on him. The New Testament was written to the Believers and many were Jews, but there were also former pagans, Greeks and Romans etc. Your comment is not historically accurate. You are trying to paint a picture without knowing the context

[@Cda21]

To even believe that men are more Powerful or better than women is insane 😅 I mean , a man could never even break down a topic like this

[@Slayy05a]

Ik you probably meant no harm with this. But this isn't as empowering as u think u are. No sex is better than the other, having critical thinking skills is a skill (obvs) that you can build up, some women and some men choose not to. Some do. And promoting otherwise can be pretty harmful.

[@amberinthemist7912]

​@Slayy05a she is literally saying men aren't better than women. What's the problem?

[@phillipA123]

"...a man could never even break down a topic like this"
If you don't see the issue either a. You are blinded by bias or b. You have terrible reading comprehension.
It's not just saying that the belief "... that men are more powerful or better than women is insane..."

[@zellalaing5439]

​@@Slayy05a yeh, the OG comment comes across naive

[@tymondabrowski12]

Men are physically stronger and have a higher testosterone, leading to things like more tolerance for risk. But that doesn't mean they're better than women, no.
But there is also plenty of men capable of breaking a complex topic down anf explaining it. In brain capabilities, we are actually very similar, statistically. There is way more differences between various women or various men than between an average woman and average man.

[@natscrest97]

Holy crap I didn't even make that connection! So many women and children are in even more danger than I thought....

[@zcnaipowered7407]

Who knew that men who treat their family like property often do bad things to their family.

[@princesskrazy13]

instead of scaling back no fault divorce, why don't we make it harder to get married...

[@minorcadence1]

We as girlies need to stop participating in wedding aspirational culture that's tricking other girls into marriage. Same for motherhood- women need to seriously vet who they choose as coparent for their children. So many regretful girlies who wish they had more resources to carefully screen the father of their children before they had children. Having children with a toxic man means trapping yourself and your children into a lifetime of victimisation. Women must use extreme discernment.

[@annebananne6835]

Boy mom here, doing my part.
I can attest to the capacity for empathy of at least my 15y/o son. Never underestimate the influence of the life you model for them.

[@catcat9582]

Hand that rocks the cradle rules the world

[@marte1376]

What are your thoughts on raising your boy as a gentleman? Some ladies when they have male sons don't want them to be providers. How have you faced that?

[@catcat9582]

What the heck man. This is so ridiculous

[@marte1376]

@@redleeks6253 I don't know girl. If I had a son I would teach him to be a gentleman, because in strength he will be stronger than her, I would teach him his value but the importance of women as well. But some ladies as soon as they have male sons, they become selfish and hate women for choosing men with standards. That's so weird

[@stayheat]

Better hope the outside influence and peer pressure doesn't get to him. There is only so much you can do.

[@luluc5408]

My mom was a trad wife who eventually tried to divorce my dad due to abuse, my dad kept threatening to annihilate me and my brother as revenge it was terrifying to grow up with

[@sumerallen-bone3390]

I thought you were going to talk also about the increase recently in men murdering their mothers, sisters and aunts. The last women for them, that probably don’t want these types of guys close but, their capacity for unconditional love will be their undoing.

[@PrincessSharifa434]

My dad and brother are misogynists and perpetually angry. I sense that it’s mental health related and they refuse to do anything about it.
That said: I keep my distance!

[@aoifecalderon383]

She talked about this in a previous episode. Sorry I can’t remember which one. Maybe one about women not marrying so more young men are living with their mothers/sisters/aunts than before and are taking their anger out on female relatives instead of intimate partners

[@PrincessSharifa434]

@@aoifecalderon383 she touched on it in this video as well, but I’ll be on the lookout for the video you’re referring to. Thanks!✨✨✨

[@ChrisOdinson132]

You're the best. I'm showing you to my nieces when they are a little older. I tell them bits and pieces of all the great things you say, such as having close girl friends and women they can trust.
Keep up the great work, it's appreciated more than I can say.

[@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke]

I haven't watched the video yet, but can you tell the women of America to stop taking their husband's last name as a commodity? Even Passport Pros are shocked that foreign women don't do this

[@Jaylade]

Plus the children default have the mens last name which makes no sense

[@tamarbatyah7]

👏👏👏

[@celeste3100]

@@Jaylade That's me and my siblings sadly. I really want to change it to a different family surname. Our father never amounted to anything and I really feel that having his surname is a curse on us. Like it's blocking the blessings and breakthroughs.

[@InternetNonsense]

If it's not a surname that would open more doors to you and your kids I see no reason to do this. Especially if you already established your own name via creative or scientific publications and titles. It's like starting from zero and erasing your identity with bitter history of being claimed as property from one man to other (hence dad giving you away during wedding). Some rituals and traditions are long overdue to go out of style and this is one of them in my opinion. Kids being signed by his name when you do most labor of birthing and raising them is particularly insane.

[@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke]

There are countries where a child takes both his mother’s and his father’s last names, but frankly this does not matter to me. I focus on women because changing their surname means changing their identity. They live half their lives with one identity and complete the remaining half of their lives with another.

[@Kate-bi9dh]

This rising trend is terrifying. As a mother of a boy (NOT a boy mom) I’m focusing on raising him to have empathy and kindness. Hopefully we can single parent raise it out of the next generation (since evidence shows an abusive father leads to an abusive boy)

[@KaylaNoelle1]

I just got out of a one year relationship with an abusive narcissist. He cheated on me from beginning to end, I don’t even think he is capable of love. I feel so foolish but I just wanted to see the best in him and help him. It’s not all men but it’s MOST of them.

[@blakerobinson5084]

I’m sorry you had a crap experience. Do a “relationship autopsy” and try to recall times when your intuition was telling you something. Hold some accountability if there were ever red flags, and learn from this experience.

[@Jaadeee5787]

They lie from day one and abuse all of the women they date. No one can help them unfortunately they are stuck in sociopath child mode. The more women know and learn this, the more we will be happy and focus on ourselves to build and amazing life, not to fix broken men.

[@m.ophie.a3644]

Forgive and love yourself. ❤ You need to be your own best friend especially if he tries to 'hover' (come back) later.

[@forever.sundays4938]

My husband has offered for me to be a stay at home but I've always told him I never want him to be the sole provider for many reasons but mostly because we should both be sharing the load of everything including financial. I love him so much I don't even want him to be taking on that stress.

[@catcat9582]

That's so beautiful

[@KS-nl4cd]

How is the rest of your household work shared?

[@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke]

What about cooking and cleaning

[@pennywenny01]

@@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke what kind of question is that? they both work, they both cook and clean

[@MalesAreDemons]

@@pennywenny01Why wasn’t she specific

[@bearypinkparfait]

With true crime events like this and men* who find joy in hurting women physically, mentally, and emotionally or just plain out un-aliving them --- it has become no surprise to me that there are more and more movements/groups of women opting out and deciding to be single "forever" 😢 Unfortunately, even when we choose to ignore men* altogether, b/c they STILL feel so entitled to women, many of them still seem to find ways to hurt us.
And most women aren't bitter either, we understand and know there are good men out there. But, it doesn't mean we can completely let our guard down. Though some men can sympathize, they can never truly fully emphasize with the shared experiences of women..and the scariest thing? Sometimes, the reality is we can never really know with some people just what they can/will do until its too late..
Stay safe out there, ladies. Sometimes, it's safer to trust your gut.

[@ryss335]

Truly Agreed with this, it's just comforting seeing more women realizing this and choose to stay single and focus on improving and enjoying their lives but recently ive seen many misogynistic contents got a lot of attention and honestly makes more males to be more violent (even tho historically they mostly always violent) and its just sad to know we have to live in fear in every country and cultures.

[@SIMMIS_0316]

People will tell you who they are. If it's the first thing he says trust him. If it's a reoccurring joke, it's not a joke. If he calls himself that, that's what he is. If he calls YOU something, that's what he views you as. Trust yourself and trust him.

[@bp949]

Trad wife life has Stepford Wives vibes..men have always wanted this

[@amyadams9970]

Especially when they place us in those skin suits, ugh!

[@Jaylade]

whats a skin suit

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

And they've had it until recently. That's why they're trying to regain control of us with all the new laws

[@InternetNonsense]

But when they get it they can't upkeep it. It's a fantasy that is too expensive to most households and leads to resentful toxicity (literal Aqua Tofana poisonings) if it's not fully mutually consensual and both parties keep their ends of the deal CONSISTENTLY for decades. If engaging in such arrangement, I'd always suggest getting a deal of having some of that money dedicated to you monthly, your future and retirement fund, while trying to get some education and stream of income of your own. Because even if he is the best man on earth, you never know with disease and death and even field of work in this shaky economy. If he truly loves you and your children (if you have any), this would be something he would be willing to do as it's only logical to repay you for all the labor you do and paid opportunities you miss and invest in his family's security.
Tradwife was never real, it's a cosplay of post-war pinup propaganda advertisements on some deworming soaps to push women away from jobs they had to take while men fought abroad and suggest they back to the kitchen. Pretty, rich women in gilded cages had maids, nannies, "the help" etc. and poor women worked all day of manual labor and being all dolled up was too impractical and time consuming. This idea of decorated servant seems sick and unrealistic. What happens if you get too old/sick for this performance?

[@goldensloth7]

@@Jaylade it's from the movie Stepford Wives, I think. good movie, the original one, not the 90s one.

[@vixenmmh]

This is exactly what happened to my HS classmate. I just found out in March that a guy I went to HS with who was well-mannered, a boyscout in my brothers troop, he was always nice and polite to me(I was bullied a lot) and he survived childhood leukemia, an only child, yes had a great high profile career. He killed his wife, 3 minor kids(17g, 12b, 10g), and himself due to financial failure. But it was with a knife. All the victims had defensive wounds. If someone had maybe discovered them sooner, maybe someone might have lived.
His oldest adult daughter didn't live with him. And so there is 1 child and 2 grandkids, his ex is a friend of mine as well. This was all over the news. It's so frustrating because he had tried to get a gun but was denied. He said he was going to so this. So there was warning signs. I still don't understand why.

[@faye_bulous]

Out of all of your masterclasses Elle this is the gem of it all 🎉
Afters 10 years of marriage and a child together, my ex was caught cheating, so I wanted him out. Before leaving, he deliberately wrecked our finances and removed his name from all bills, leaving me solely responsible and causing significant damage. Some men will go to great lengths, even using their children as a means to destroy you. Ladies, take heed and be wiser 🌸

[@minorcadence1]

Preach your lore, girlie.
I do agree with you- this is one of Elle's best. I will sit through all the Rocket money sponsorship ads if this is what we get in return!

[@patriciasantos48]

"He´s going to send you to hell the first chance He gets" took me out 💀💀💀

[@aurora8749]

She's not wrong though. There are more Bible verses about how to be a good husband than a good wife, like triple the amount of passages

[@RaeEwe]

The hot girl walk with jesus line was what got me 😂

[@champagne7530]

I watched a chris watts documentary and one fbi profiler stated that it is Important to note that susceptible men will eliminate their families starting around August to December. The reason behind this is still being studied. But psychologist think its because these killers want to give their families one last good summer, then get rid of them in the fall/winter, start the new year with their new life. Also the bulk of the major western worlds holidays take place in the fall/winter. They dont want the financial responsibilities that come with those holidays and want to inflict painful memories on the survivors

[@reneedennis2011]

Wow. I didn't know about that. Thanks for the info.

[@SabertoothedTiger69]

Alright. That does it. Men bad unironically because wtf

[@sunfeatherX3]

This is one of the only sane space on the internet anymore sometimes I swear 😩

[@ryss335]

Very Trueeeeeeeee, been seeing A LOT of misogynistic contents in social media since years ago.

[@pink_chevy_emblem2676]

I hate seeing comments from men under posts about struggling single mothers saying why can’t women stop complaining and just take accountability/responsibility. And it literally makes me want to explode w frustration. I need to delete instagram the comments and posts on there are just disheartening . My bf tells me to not comment on the posts too and he’s right cus I shouldn’t care and he said it’s how it is on the internet but it’s a reflection of society and it’s depressing

[@aurora8749]

I used to get mad. Now I'm numb to it

[@TheEnigmaticmuse]

I don't think it's a super accurate reflection. Miserable incels are jobless on the internet all the time. Healthy people living good lives are not so you're not hearing their perspectives.

[@TheEnigmaticmuse]

@@chrissmith635 what do single mothers have to do with you being on the internet all of the time spewing hatred and not giving an accurate reflection of actual society?

[@ryss335]

I've seen them mostly on ig but recently seeing so many comments like that in yt as well (from one of recent case like the Cody ko ones where there's a lot of men commenting and defending an abus*r) its honestly so disheartening to know that most males think like that and seems like there's no speck of light at the end of the tunnel here

[@mrinalinikota9905]

Yeah, Instagram is hell. Once in a blue moon, I download the app. And five minutes into it, I’m done for the month😂

[@daphne-w98]

People say that it’s just how men are raised, but sometimes in my darker moments I can’t help but wonder if it goes deeper than that. No matter the era, the language, the culture, the male or female deity worshipped, men have always used their physical power to hurt/abuse/exit women. Just as the idea of a perfect housewife and worker husband nuclear family is romanticized, the idea of a pre-Abrahamic Goddess worshipping society being fair to its women is also romanticized. I’m not saying every woman is a victim, but generally speaking women and children are the plunder in every war, from time immemorial. praw-stitution is called one of the oldest professions for a reason.

[@ryss335]

Got the same thoughts as well, historically in most countries and cultures the one who do most of the hurting and unaliving are all males, imo one of the reason is how a lot of cultures put more power in males because of patriarchy and most of them think they have power to abuse or hurt other people because that's what society and their culture expect them to do. Honestly thinking it's going to so hard to erase that kind of thinking, it could takes hundreds of years and rn i don't see things could change for the better, sadly. It's just sad to know that women (and even children) historically everywhere has to live in fear because of it.

[@Sarahlikestohike]

Yeah there's this sense of "men are bad because the culture teaches them to be that way" but who made the culture? men!

[@edenbercier7511]

MOM WAKE UP THE QUEEN POSTED!!

[@livinginthepines]

😂😂

[@ntombizodwavundla168]

My father was extremely for the entire time he lived with us. My mom had to get a protection order, which he violated, and put a massive 13 stitch scar on my face in 2007 and was forced to leave our family. My one and olny brother was 19 at the time. Fast forward to 2023, my now 35-year-old brother knifed my mom 13 times and was planning to the same to me and my 3 sisters. I don't know how my mom fought him off, but he is in prison now.
It's scary to think that the 2 men in my life who were supposed to love and protect more than any other have spent time in their lives to plan un-aliving the woman in the lives. And no, they don't regret it. They don't think they were wrong in any way.

[@AzanianPrincess]

South African xy's are a different kind of scary. I'm sorry you and your mom had to endure and experience that kind of trauma.🤍

[@minniemoe4797]

​@@AzanianPrincess I remember the case from South Africa when disabled man shot his girlfriend

[@jupiterthree5228]

the grass is never greener on the side where you're a mother/homemaker. hell no. I'd rather work and do whatever I want when I get home.

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

Periods in Ancient Egypt were more woke than usa in 2024 which is just fascinating to me

[@LoveLife-oo9cz]

Can you explain more? How?

[@ashtinsampson5469]

Would you happen to have any sources? I’m thinking about writing a paper about this!

[@whutcat682]

​@@LoveLife-oo9czI am not an expert, but I asked Chatgbt 4o for this. I think it is pretty accurate
In ancient Egypt, menstruation was considered a natural and necessary process for women. The ancient Egyptians had a practical and somewhat pragmatic view of periods. Here are some key points regarding their views and practices:Hygiene and Menstrual Products: Women in ancient Egypt used various forms of menstrual hygiene products. This included pads made from papyrus, linen, or other absorbent materials. Some records suggest that they may have also used tampons made from softened papyrus.Medicinal and Religious Practices: Menstrual blood was often used in medicinal and magical practices. It was believed to have protective and healing properties. Some spells and remedies called for the use of menstrual blood as an ingredient.Cultural Attitudes: While menstruation was generally accepted as a natural process, like in many ancient cultures, there were certain taboos and superstitions associated with it. For example, menstrual blood was sometimes considered impure, and menstruating women might have been excluded from certain religious rituals or activities.Symbolism: Menstruation was also symbolically linked to fertility and life. It was seen as part of the cycle of birth and renewal, which was a significant aspect of ancient Egyptian belief systems.Documentation: Some medical papyri, such as the Ebers Papyrus, mention menstruation and provide remedies for menstrual-related issues. This indicates that menstruation was a recognized and discussed topic within ancient Egyptian medicine.

[@4549uef]

also Yemen (no.1 misogynist country) had at least 3 regnant queens in history, truly fascinating

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

Probably way harder to hide in ancient times. I swear these days ppl just want us thinking they don't even poop

[@sonialimas8070]

In Alameda CA a man killed his wife , his son and his in laws yesterday I don't know circumstances but family annihilation sounds scary.

[@MelanatednNature]

😮

[@SilentTrip]

this is why I didn't hop on "let's cancel true crime creators who are mostly woman" train led by a misogynist male youtuber (literally named Evil Pinely 🤮) who OBVIOUSLY feels inferior and threatened by women's interest in leaening True Crime content.
I will always judge anyone who attacked woman True Crime creators like Bailey Sarian and Stephanie Soo. That includes the pick mes too

[@Daughterofsatansson]

@rottenmango we love you so so much

[@tunkytunky]

If you don't like the genre, fine... but anyone who wants the genre gone altogether gets my sideeye. Very suspicious.

[@Camy-2004]

ngl I used to watch Pinely but he's just cringe and chasing clout at this point.

[@undercookedtoast1479]

I can understand critiquing aspects of the true crime genre (how it can take advantage of victims and their families, sensationalizing killers, harassing suspects/family members, etc.) but to demonize the entire genre is completely disingenuous. Especially when you only criticize podcasts and individual creators and not the horrific news cycle that does way more harm on a way larger scale.

[@adventurerke]

exactly! and seeing so many pick meshas jumped on that train was insane

[@moonslave90]

As a European, the only way I know of familicide is through American media. It's an utterly alien concept to me. If something like this happened here, even in a neighbouring country, it'd hit the media like no tomorrow. And I can't remember a single instance of that.
This is why your only barely touching on the socioeconomic circumstances of these family annihilations that happen in the USA enrages me. Just imagine for a second what those mens circumstances would be like with laws that can not fire someone without a just cause? With state benefits for a few months between jobs to ferry you over to the next one? How about child care benefits if both of the parents work? Imagine a society where everyone has a health care insurance that will provide a certain amount of psychologist appointments if needed? Does your government even provide dept assistance or counseling? Or, to name a very obvious one: restricted gun ownership. My country has all of these things.
The USA is singular in how it has not a single hallmark of a first world country in caring for its citizens. For ensuring that their citizens won't fall in such deep despair that suicide and the murder of ones family seems to be the only way out.
You are talking about the symptoms of a larger disease. Familicide is just a symptom. And while you do touch upon the republicans trying to restrict reproductive rights and trying to make divorce harder to obtain, you do not once acknowledge even that is a symptom of women actively voting their security away.
Voting against socialism is the biggest sabotage of the family unit I can possibly imagine, and it baffles me how you can talk about family annihilators for 45 minutes straight, and not mention that yourself.

[@atlas956]

I’m german, and trust me - familicide still happens here. i’d wager it’s rarer here, a lot, partly because gun safety is a way bigger thing, but if you watch german true crime, there are quite a few.
it’s true that it would probably be a bigger news story though…
femicide is awfully common, still, but the woman’s children are less frequently killed.
tradwifery and this odd hyper conservatism (jesus doesn’t want you to get a divorce) is also a way less big thing here too, that might factor into it.

[@empyrea_2546]

Capitalism and patriarchy is one of the most unholy unions right up there with Capitalism and religion and state and religion. And I like the fact that you brought this up. I honestly think these issues are a trifecta of the above mentioned unholy unions that the USA suffers from...methinketh. But you are right, the biggest threat to the family unit is the systems in place. Signed, a Kenyan looking from the outside.

[@serenityf.6234]

Idk in which country you live but believe me abuse & unaliving of a woman and children are sadly still common in Europe too, Not to the extent as in the US but def still there...
Just saying this so you keep yourself aware and save, there even have been studies that show a rising tendency in young adult men for violence...

[@moonslave90]

@@serenityf.6234 I live in the Netherlands. And if I am supposed to believe Google, Femicide happens every eight days in the Netherlands. Filicide - not even 90 victims over a nine year period. That said, Familicide is not really researched in the Netherlands. Then again, I'd like to reiterate that it doesn't get in the news all that often.
And the type of murder suicide discussed in this video is, IMHO, a different kettle of fish than 'regular' violence towards women. As discussed, it has a bit different motives than 'angry man beats wife'.

[@faraboverubieskerry]

Those are really good points and I have discussed these things with my European friends as I now live there. This isnt a topic that is raised in these discussions because most people in the US have no idea about the benefits and systems in daily European life. I have spent the last 2 years sharing with co-workers , friends and family and they had never heard of regular jobs with permanent contracts, etc. Also keep in mind that most Americans don't know that Europe even has democratic socialism as we are taught to equate the word socialism with classic communism. We are not educated on the subject. I agree that the US is so unhealthy because of the capitalism and lack of social benefits. Europeans have been lucky but that is changing now as Europe is embracing capitalism.

[@xsunlx]

You talking about these men giving signs that they are potential family annihilators had me thinking of that father that was exposed by his wife on tik tok for posting all these "perfect dad" photos while saying that he hates being a dad and that it makes him want to do "terrible things"😖😣

[@empyrea_2546]

Wut? What's the account? We need to keep an eye out

[@fx7105]

my first thought of this is always the "Dupont de Ligonnès murders", i implore you all to look it up, it's such a haunting case. it's also an interesting case from a class standpoint, this man rather killed his children than let them be poor, even though they had prospects to be incredibly sucessful in life, they were all talented, smart, and would've easily bounced back, he literally couldn't let them just go to a regular school and have part time jobs instead of murdering them. and the worst part is he may still be alive, he may even have other kids or a wife, who knows?

[@emanalsmadi2196]

Can u make a book review about the book "why does he do that"
The author of the book is a man who worked in abuse programs for 15 years and the book is just so thorough and so detailed in its explanation of abuse and abusive mentality
It'd be so great if u made a vid about it and spread awareness

[@BriellaSornFonte]

It is also true that if a woman was or is in a relationship with an abusive partner and she tells the police they most likely won’t take her seriously. When he does something wrong that impacts other people the media and other people are going to blame the woman. It’s as if all of the solutions are about women changing and not making men change.

[@reneedennis2011]

@@BriellaSornFonte Exactly.

[@sabrielluv]

The senator who said to stay in a violent marriage is now the Vice President nominee of the Republican Party….

[@minareddy9895]

This is frightening

[@SabertoothedTiger69]

He also effed a couch

[@sabrielluv]

@@SabertoothedTiger69 we really learn new things every day… just look up JD and rolling stone article 2022…. Weird. Just another villan storyline.

[@fizaaman4603]

The trad wife influencer aren’t even textbook trad wives. They have their own income , they are independent. Creating content is their job , I feel like in a movie or drama series you have actors playing a character in the same way the trad wife influencers are also playing a role.

[@rachelstechman5959]

Middle-aged, happily married lady here - just wanted to say what a great video this is, and how proud I am of the present generation of young women who know their worth and are speaking up. Keep fighting (and vote!)

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

I would be a trad wife if I could still make my own money and not do any housework or cooking

[@lelz0394]

That's just a husband

[@marte1376]

😂😂 the point is, how to be provided for and the same time having your own money. Sometimes when women work, men are not fully providers. I don't know, makes me confused

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Lolllll

[@PrincessSharifa434]

@@marte1376accumulate pre-marital assets (your Plan B, so to speak) that - typically - can’t be split in divorce. You walked in with those assets, so those are yours.
Many trad wives, in the eyes of their husbands, are trapped, like sitting ducks, because he’s the king of the castle and what he says goes/“I pay the bills/if you don’t like it, you can leave.”
Be a trad wife, but hubby should also know that you have the ability *AND* resources to walk away when you don’t like what’s being served at the table.
That tends to keep everything on the up and up. 😎

[@tamiausten873]

This is my dream. I want to stay home and raise my future kids with a husband who's also home like me, travel a lot. This obviously requires making a lot of money remotely and also owning your work hours. It's a fantasy that may never come through for most people, not a common reality. Also what I just described is clearly not traditional

[@theriveroftruth]

i can’t help but think of Mica Miller saying “god doesn’t like divorce because it hurts people but how do you think he feels about abuse” and then being found unalive. 🥺

[@Svgarcanna]

You know you’re allowed to say dead on RUclips.

[@attitudeproblem6462]

Just saw the story of the Haight family in Utah. Mad-ass controlling and a*busive…got served those divorce papers and offed his wife, mother-in-law, 5kids and then himself. But made sure he left a note calling his _Wife_ the controlling one.😒😒😒

[@luw5244]

You can be a ‘trad wife’ with multiple income streams - and that’s what the content creators are doing. But some naive women will look at them and think they’re really living the trad wide lifestyle.

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

Those influencers aren't trad wives. You can't be a trad wife with multiple forms of income because that's not a traditional wife role

[@PrincessSharifa434]

@@PraiseTheFSMonsterread the room. The traditional trad wife has one of two outcomes: nothing goes wrong (🎉🎉🎉) or live in a tent after your once loving husband refuses to pay alimony and took the kids because he told the judge you had no source of income to maintain said children.
Trad wife life is a very dangerous game *should* things go wrong, which is why these very astute content creators are selling their lifestyle to us, while also earning $10K+/month, in the event she turns 40 or hubby has a mid-life crisis and decides to trade her in for a newer model.

[@arachnid33]

@@PraiseTheFSMonsterI don't understand.. why can't a traditional wife have her own business? Where did you hear that? Doesn't a trad wife just mean a traditional marriage? I think that's where the term comes from. Not everything needs to be boundary breaking.

[@HappyCrackers]

Even if you arent married, daughters often have to quit work to take care of sick family members. Not dads.
Your hair is so pretty!

[@catcat9582]

I believe my dad tried to do that to harm my mother and because of financial ruin. It was a win win for him

[@kiyokomayu]

The way I clicked on Manifestelle's RUclips notification so fast 👀

[@Nee3l]

ME TOO haha. I cannot wait till she uploads.

[@Jada_RE]

Same. Never skip on a class girlie!

[@hanatirk4375]

Me too all the time. I run almost fall