Look buddy we all know the only REAL way to tell men apart from other people is if they're as swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, and mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
I realized 2 weeks ago that I was nonbinary. I have you to thank for that. I'm 44 year's old and all I knew about myself was that I was different from most men. I like cats, I don't like sports, I take baths , I wear women's clothes when me and my wife are gettin'frisky and I thought I was just a weird pervert. And I thought I was okay with that. The problem is that I was depressed and angry a lot of the time. Once I was willing to face the possibility of being nonbinary things finally started making sense. Last Saturday I had a series of anxiety attacks and I knew I had to tell someone. I spoke with my gay brother and I felt like I had taken a mental muscle relaxer. Since then I have felt so much better with a few moments of doubt. I know that the journey has finally begun. Thank you Mildred for everything . Godspeed.
Its hard to figure out. As "men" were not suppose to be vunreable. Were suppose to just be stoic and angry and strong and possesive. Not all of us want to participate in the song and dance of pretending to be societies image of a man. I hope youve got peace and lifes been good to you. Im a cis bi guy somewhere where its not completely safe for me to be open. All i want is every people to be free. All comes back to being a leftist. Every human being is equal ❤❤
@@JasonMcCarrell Yeah. I asked before I watched the video. Which is why I added the "edit". It was made clear to me. I guess I'll choose to call them "them" personally.
@@sunkcostfallacy2738 No, their pronouns are literally any/all. You want to use "them", use "all" instead. Example: Any really does make great videos, I love the way any looks at topics and breaks them down neatly. I've been subscribed to all for over a year now and I have loved every video any have uploaded. But I must point out that there is no possessive version, which is why I used "their" up above. Please do give suggestions for ways to alter any/all to be possessive. his/her/their/anyr? XD
How to be a man: You must be swift as the coursing river With all the force of a great typhoon With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
I highly doubt Sargon has any of those qualities. Swift as a tub of molasses Has the force of a wet fart Has the strength of a faux candle Mysterious as a soggy paper bag.
It is a great list of traits to be. Of course one of the points of the original Mulan is that women can be all that stuff too. The most important thing is you do you.
@@calebpagel very true, but if it’s okay I wanna “yes and” that statement with the fact that Mulan has always been very gender-bendery. Exhibit A: “When will my reflection show who I am inside?”
"I'm an out, gender-fluid sack of potatoes." You know what? Potatoes get a bad rep. Potatoes can be so many things. They ARE fluid. Breakfast. Dinner. Snacks. Potatoes don't get old and moldy. They GROW. Leave a potato alone and it will grow vines. Put it with other potatoes and it will also grow and spread. Under the right circumstances, that potato can become delicious alcohol, which can help you get through many social encounters where you'd rather shove a fork in your eye. There is literally no meal where a potato is not welcome. So I say to you... SHINE you beautiful sack of potatoes, you! You are loved and you are wanted. Potatoes for life!
@Roshaun Roache I promise someone out there loves you. I don’t know you well enough to say but I’m sure I would too if I did. Your identity is valid and your mistakes are not irredeemable. You can have an internet hug if you’re comfortable.
@@alisonpurgatory85 are you just using big words to sound smarter than you actually are? Curious because normally people say "waste of space" or "waste of a soul"
That Wednesday Adams dress is just *chefs kiss* absolutely killing it Mildred, love to see people expressing however they want, fuck social expectations we wear what we want.
@@seekingabsolution1907 maybe not yet. but so much of being a person, a real person that chooses their own existence instead of just coasting, is learning. and learning is done, partially, through practice. maybe you can't quite get there yet. but if you decide that you want to try, then you can practice towards the doing. and someday, whether through a running start or a crabwalk or some other metaphor, you can try dresses, and see if you like them. and maybe you will and maybe you won't, or maybe just some in some situations. but you'll have chosen, and worked, and made your self. at least that little bit more. good luck!
another cruel contradiction such people tend to make is: when a man behaves in a "feminine" way, he'll be called "woman/girl" as an insult, just to harm him, but when trans woman explicitly asks to be called "woman", they will call her "man", just to harm her they behave like children who are mad that world isn't as simple and as neatly designed as they wish it was, and instead of accepting it and moving on they create a safe space for themselves through means of violence and abuse
The whole "He looked comfortable in his gender" thing has been levelled at me (I'm a trans woman). It's like these guys don't understand that people who are in the closet are sometimes capable of convincingly performing the gender they were assigned at birth-or in my case, *overperforming* and trying to be super masculine because I thought that would cure my dysphoria. Just because someone knows how to put up a good facade of conformity doesn't mean they're comfortable in the gender they're assigned at birth.
Right? I mean, we get good at *the things we practise hard*. There's also the concept of the "extinction burst" that I think applies to a lot of us while we're on the verge of admitting it to ourselves but really hoping to be proven wrong.
Well put. A former roommate of mine was a closeted trans woman. She was still living as a man, was an ex-Marine with two combat tours in Afghanistan. She had gone so far to perform masculinity she had literally gone to war and been shot at. She told me later that at the time was still in denial and trying to "man up". :/ We were good friends, and she knew I was trying to be an ally. But she had just been kicked out and made homeless by her own *family* for coming out. When she called me, I came to pick her up and she and all her stuff were on the curb outside her grandma's house. She told me she was kicked out for coming out as an atheist, and I believed her. We lived together for a year and I completely bought that she was a guy, though I thought maybe "he" was gay (she is a straight trans woman). She came out to me over social media after moving away to California. When I asked why she didn't feel comfortable coming out to me - ie., if I had done anything at all to make her feel unsafe - she said no, but *she just couldn't take the risk*. Her own family had rejected her after all; it wasn't easy for her to trust. :( Anyway, there's a happy ending. She's out and proud now, living a much more fulfilled life, and her shitty family don't have any control over her nor any more ability to hurt her. She has friends and found family who love her for who she is now. Knowing her really made me think a lot harder about performance and how being an ally isn't enough. We can't just create safe spaces here and there, that's not good enough. As long as cis privilege exists, trans people can never fully trust us no matter how much we try to earn that trust. We need to abolish that privilege. We need a radical transformation of society so no one has to go through what she did ever again.
I’ve had the same experience from the sidelines. My high school friend who was most traditionally masculine in their demeanour and presentation later came out as a trans woman. It was a really good signifier to me about how different people try to navigate the difficult space of understanding and being in the world with such feelings of non-alignment.
As a trans guy, this has been thrown at me too. I learned very early in my puberty that by "leaning into" the gender expression expected of me, the better I was treated by people. I'd like to think it's pretty normal to want to be treated well....
It's strange - as someone who was always got the funny looks before I came out, for wearing mismatched gendered signifiers, I got the 'why can't you just be (my agab) but gender nonconforming? ' reaction. It's almost like cis hegemony is just opposed to trans people existing regardless of our demeanor. 🤔
@@hazelnotxyz I just remember reading it as a child and going "... ... ... Beat Rice???... ... ..." Then I heard it pronounced and I loved the vowel swing.
"If you are a man, whatever you do is technically masculine." I even held this idea when I was conservative. I didn't have a lot of friends growing up, until like 11th grade, so hearing talk about "revoking my man card" over some BS was something new to me that I didn't put up with even back then.
Me when my dad asks me why I'm wearing dresses in public and when I'm gonna cut my hair as if this has not been the masculine tradition for several milleniums
@@KangMinseok Actually, male sex has also been around for a long time. It wasn't even taboo in Rome, Gaul, or most of Greece. And even if it were a new thing, it isn't like anyone is making you have male sex.
I'm a 32 year old cis woman who feels like I have no idea what I'm doing with makeup and you found a better red lip match to your skin tone than I ever have. You look great. We all do. You got this. Just keep exploring and then washing it off when you're not thrilled. That's the only way I have ever found to find a moment where I feel okay going outside in something fun and it takes a long time even if you do grow up with it being socially acceptable. You got this.
Hey, I’m a trans guy, and I just wanted to thank you. You have such a way with words when you talk about trans struggles, you bring up stuff I hadn’t even really thought about and make me feel proud of my identity. Thanks :]
I never understood the idea that even if these people are such a small percentage of the population that it somehow means that its alright to ignore their problems or treat them equally, this is like refusing medical treatment for a rare strain of cancer because it makes up such a small percentage of people.
As someone who never really had reason to question his gender identity, this was helpful. I've often wondered why gender labels mattered so much to some people, and I feel like I understand that better now that I've watched this. Thank you.
@@Alex_Barbosa it is quite tough to wrap your head around it. I'm kind of the same place as you, in that I hate labels in general. I do see the social pressure to perform in certain gendered ways, and I dislike that social pressure, I don't see myself a victim of it, it just feels mildly annoying. BTW if anybody needs more help wrapping their heads around gender, check the "Identity" video by Philosophy Tube. She came out as a trans woman in the middle of the video, after explaining very well how she feels to perform a gender she's not.
Because all humans categorize their surroundings. And it's already proven that children need a strong masculine role model in their life if they want independence. Parents want (and have the right) to shape their children how they see is most healthy. And the state is clearly trying to feminize men. Boys who can't sit still in school get put on testosterone interrupting drugs.
@@alexscriabin ay! How you gonna change minds with that attitude? Sorry to come out you (you are wonderful I'm sure and just pissed off with the constant abuse and can't take it anymore.) but I want you to take a step back and ask if you enjoy being judged so quickly. I personally probably would have been named a neo-nazi by you just a year ago, I changed because I realized I was just spouting out the same nonsense I'd heard in an attempt to feel 'normal'. So whenever you hear someone say this, rather than bashing them recognize that infact, the reason all of us are struggling, is because we just want to feel normal, but ARE different EVERYONE is different from eachother. Sorry to rant at you, I love you, but a kinder approach changes more minds. Telling people they are bigots only makes them mad. Just like how when we get called unfriendly things we get mad. Thats all have a nice day! I'll say it one more time. Please don't spread hate. (This isn't for just them but anyone who reads it, thanks.)
"a lot of my audience is trans or otherwise gender non-conforming, because, you know, I treat them like human beings, and that is unfortunately a rare quality and they like to watch my videos" I literally just did finger guns for you for saying that
@@CRIMSONBAMBOO-g6f a featherless biped, to which Diogenes the cynic famously burst into Plato's lecture holding a plucked chicken while yelling "behold! A man!"
Taking the energy of "TRY AND CHANGE MY GENDER YOU FOOLS-- IM NOT TRAPPED IN HERE WITH YOU, YOU'RE TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ME" and carrying it into the world with my whole queer heart.
Conservatism: everyone should be treated as an individual Also conservatism: you should conform to our particular group identity and performance or you'll scare children
They don't say you'll just scare children. They say this exposure irrevocably damages them. By letting them be curious little humans who find beauty and wonder and joy in the things adults have murdered in ourselves. Thank crust I found ways to revive that joy in myself.
Look, of course there need to be certain paremeters to how you're allowed to express your personality and individuality. I thought Hannibal was a pretty cool show but I don't get to murder and cook other people in pursuit of self-expression. And obviously trans-people shouldn't be able to present in ways that don't conform with the traditional interpretation of how somebody with what was in their pants at birth (cause good conservative babies are born fully clothed) ought to present. Those two things are equivalent and equally harmful to other people, it's so obvious you silly muppets.
The War of Wokeness to kill traditional Masculinity is Visible on Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, James Bond, and so much more. But on the other hand, as people point out, 'Traditional Masculinity' is kinda made-up and it was always made-up. So both sides are kinda Dum-Dum, tbh. I mean, to put it into a smaller-and-therefore-more-approachable Example: Wokeness is totally wrong for offing James Bond after embarassing him BUT old James Bond's Way-with-the-Woman was also very dumb, as 'Cinema Therapy' literally just days ago pointed out in a video. Or: Yes, Doctor Who's statement after the Doctor became a Woman ("I got an UPGRADE!!") made the whole Globe Crin-e, yes, BUT even before Wokeness took over, the fact that Amy Pond tried to cheat on his Husband with the Doctor; an Ancient Alien; also made me Cr-nge... duh...
@@nenmaster5218 Fair point. I won't comment on your view, but I do appreciate the recognition of both sides a bit. Also, to add to the wokeness part you mentioned, there is the fact that media often caters to the public in a way that the public doesn't always want. As in, for example, pride month, many people in the LGBT lament about the aggravation of being used as a selling point for companies that genuinely care not for our struggles or for us in general. The media always seems to go to the extreme, imo, at least in certain aspects of that stuff, but overall, I see the wokeness features you mentioned to be far less harmful for a society in terms of preconceptions of gender roles and expectations than the "traditional masculinity" aspect. At least, that's how I see it. One falls more extreme than the other in my eyes as of now.
@@kiralonely To explain how silly wokeness is: Imagine a cast of well-established and liked characters (just imagine any long-running show you know well; doesnt mean which, just choose one) and then imagien someone coming in and replcing them ALL by Gay People. Oh, but not any gay people, but make them REALLLLLLY badly written, just because, ok? Yeah, that's kinda what we're dealing nowadas. Inclusion so badly-made that we kinda lose all hetero-males. Lol much...
Hello officer, yes, this is the person who tried to murder me with laughter by slipping a Castlevania quote into a video about toxic masculinity. Book them! Edit: Is the person you're not naming a certain English RUclipsr with a channel about philosophy and who has a surname that refers to a pointy part of a plant? Are they referring to someone talked AT LENGTH in her coming out video about how exhausting it was performing her old masculine role for, like, months, before finally taking the leap and coming out to her fans? The one who is also a professional actress, which is probably how she could convince so many people that she was comfortable presenting as masculine for so long after realizing she was trans? Is that the person these bozos say was totally just a normal, comfortable man (while producing videos with elaborate makeup and costume changes, which I think we can all agree are major parts of "traditional conservative masculinity") before "randomly" deciding to transition purely for clout? Is that who they're talking about? If so, I think "Bozos" may be too nice a way to refer to them.
You had my like based on your joke about Attempted Murder by Clever Reference Comedy...but THEN you went on to ask the rather key question I'd wondered. So that was pretty good, and then you ALSO pointed out how said RUclipsr's coming out, and OTHER videos, quite literally ADDRESS the various ways in which tans folk continue to perform the gender they're in the process of abandoning. (P.S. Pretty cool how I put off watching this video a bit, so the latest bit o' philosophizing over on the other channel relates to this one, to a degree.)
You see, Carlgon and Angry-at-Cartoons man think someone would "become" trans for attention because they themselves have no real values or beliefs. They would change their tune at the drop of a hat to make their audience happy and continue to feed them what they want to hear. They are applying their spineless view of the world onto an experience they don't understand and actively despise. Edit: I look forward to Ghost of The Eyeball and House of The Eyeball Zone.
I also love that they use the term "validation" to describe it. They're parroting the words of real grown-ups, but taking a totally batshit leap of logic to end up where their audience wants them to go. Like, "They came out to a group that was already friendly to them and generally accepting of trans people, because they thought it would be a safe way to get validation for their identity. Why would someone do such a thing if not for financial gain?!"
"House of the Eyeball Zone" There is a place in hyperspace They caaaaaaallll the Eyeball Zone It's brought Eyeballs to many a poor soul And god, I know, I'm one... (Well, not really since I can't be arsed to do all the stuff it takes to make good YT content, much less get in the Eyeball Zone, oh well)
"War on men", "culture war", war here, war there, they sound like those messianic sects that constantly make you think you're in the middle of some sort of epic battle for the fate of the world.
The States has a real hard-on for that militant life. Hell, look at how a blockbuster depicted Spartans. You wanna sell your snake oil to boomers and the boomer-inclined, you'd better make it a war.
The idea masculinity is "banned" is utter nonsense. The highest paid actor is the Rock, one of the most popular TV shows on right now is Love Island. The funny things is just going outside, would dispell everything these people say, put unfortunately they pray on individuals who don't have much of a social life.
There is no "war" per say but here is the problem they might be trying to point out and either deliberately using to fuel hate or just not able to express properly. I am a straight guy who can't date due to religious reasons and also due to massive social anxiety and because I am short. I am a prime candidate for those hateful monsters and infact once WAS an MRA due to them. Here is the issue; I live vicariously via videogames and movies and TV. Years ago when I was an MRA it was even more true than it is now. And at the time it was true for me, videogames that used to cater to me not only changed to also cater to women but also to NOT cater to me. Biggest point is Mortal Kombat X and XI where Shao Khan is still wearing a lioncloth, Johnny Cage is shirtless but Skerlett is literally wearing a niqab and burqa. It was hard enough to see women wearing less clothes back in Pakistan but now the ONLY outlet I had outside porn to see women dressed provocatively was going away and I was angry at the people who kept pointing it out and made it go away. AND I initially kept that anger when I came to the US. I was a Pakistani Muslim immigrant who was a Trump supporter. (now I am on the far left) Luckily for me I am also brown and I have machine learning skills and plain luck that got me a job that I love so I was able to let go of my anger even just by being kept busy in something else. Without these two things white men are very vulnerable to right-wing extremism peddlers and a simple way to remedy this is to just have the option to keep Kitana and Jade in an outfit that is ALSO common in actual MMA and not attack their ONLY way outside watching porn to express their sexuality safely.
@@piratesephiroth I don’t see a lot of rocks, but I see plenty of traditionally masculine looking men when I walk around in my pretty leftist city. Sometimes it’s me. I got all kinds of fits.
@Susan Wojcicki Is Asshoe My parents reinforced masculinity onto me and my dad took me on tons of manly bonding time camping trips. I'm gender nonconforming because I actually didn't like what I saw from all that time around men. The more it was reinforced, the less I liked it. Femininity always seemed more appealing, but it's not for me either. The answer is to just take a healthy combination of the two, and then leave everyone else alone about their own identity. If you tell me to "Be a man" then I'll just say "What's up bro" a couple times while I'm painting my nails. My point is just that your claim only describes a very slim portion of the trans/questioning experience.
@Susan Wojcicki Is Asshoe Gender dysphoria can start at a young age, sure. But that isn't the end of the conversation about gender. You don't need to have dysphoria to be trans.
@Susan Wojcicki Is Asshoe What you're describing is an old school narrative that psychologists used to use to explain the existence of queerness or transness in people assigned male. Before they did any fucking research whatsoever. Amazingly, the narrative for queer or trans people assigned female was also that it was caused by mothers...in this case, cold, unloving mothers. Amazing. Almost like it was just a kneejerk, misogynistic blaming of women for a thing they saw as a problem, which they got away with for a while at the first half of the 20th century because psychology was new and profoundly undisciplined half-quackery! So basically, why the fuck is anyone still repeating such utter shite? Have some phrenology while you're at it.
@Susan Wojcicki Is Asshoe It's not bad to be gay! Being bisexual is an advantage! If you want to site numbers, then bring me numbers. Don't just ask me to imagine how many trans people regret transition, I want you to come at me with studies if you're going to make a point based on numbers. I'm sure most trans people are actually happy with who they are now.
Intersex is "Statistically Irrelevant" like left-handedness. Put together, all the things that can go wrong when a zygote differentiates between the Mullerian, and Wolffian ducts are as common as southpaws. At one point, we thought there was something literally sinister about those, too.
@@supercoolguy4829 My dad (born in the 70's) have been traumatized by his teachers forcing him to write with his right hand. They would even get _physical_ with him.
Holy shit I burst out laughing at "somehow this fucks up video games in particular." The delivery, the content, just... everything about that joke was perfect!
The War of Wokeness to kill traditional Wokeness is Visible on Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, James Bond, and so much more. But on the other hand, as people point out, 'Traditional Masculinity' is kinda made-up and it was always made-up. So both sides are kinda Dum-Dum, tbh. I mean, to put it into a smaller-and-therefore-more-approachable Example: Wokeness is totally wrong for offing James Bond after embarassing him BUT old James Bond's Way-with-the-Woman was also very dumb, as 'Cinema Therapy' literally just days ago pointed out in a video. Or: Yes, Doctor Who's statement after the Doctor became a Woman ("I got an UPGRADE!!") made the whole Globe Crin-e, yes, BUT even before Wokeness took over, the fact that Amy Pond tried to cheat on his Husband with the Doctor; an Ancient Alien; also made me Cr-nge... duh...
I have always been torn about this. As much as I want every character I play in a game to have giant bouncy tits, I'd be willing to give up the ability to do so to spite conservatives.
Don't feel bad about your make up! Make up is an art that just like any other art requires practice. I am a high femme cis woman that has taught people of a variety of gender identities how to do it and the one thing that I see over and over is the want for it to be perfect from the start. You will get there its just a matter of time. I love the Wednesday Addams look btw.
Honestly as another cis woman they’ve done their makeup better than I have even after years of wearing it lmao, I’m gonna need some tutorials from them!
"it's humiliating to stumble my way through a gender presentation that i haven't been conditioned to wear gracefully since childhood" hit the nail on the head there friend
This is why I'm not trans, just non binary. It felt so odd trying to perform a role that was never assigned to me, and I felt like I was just a poor imitation of a woman or something. I am really curious about where those feelings fit in the trans experience because I myself can't understand the trans experience, and I don't want to deny it to people that really need it.
@@chaotickreg7024 this is exactly why I think transgenderism is sexist. It acknowledges the existence of a binary and baits people into just fetishizing the opposite sex.. I think aiming for a single gender is like what would cause the best outcomes for people both culturally and, for their health.
Also, there is the TERF argument which I tyyoicslly thought was stupid, but I’ve heard people say it. There are MTF trans people who do it just to reap social capital, I’ve unironically heard of dudes saying they wanna go trans so they can just be a housewife and have their husband take care of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if this became a problem, striving for androgyny to me counters a lot of the dogma associated with our current roles. Even if we try to make a new understanding of them, I still think there is too much baggage associated with how people view them.
@@pablobear4241 I agree with you, on one very important condition. The present time is *not* really ready for that, and an incremental shift would probably be best. Trans people are still valid and we owe them a lot for making huge strides in the social justice realm. We can't exclude trans identity from the feminist movement just yet, their experiences are very important. But progress should be towards a "single gender" as you put it. That sounds optimal to me.
@@pablobear4241 I think the TERF argument is not completely settled. The other stuff about trans fetishization might just be examples of unconscious gender dysphoria, and these people should just go ahead and be a gay housewife if they really want to that would be great for them. But yes, both genders come with a sort of dogma that we could eventually do without.
So, I’m a trans woman myself, and I live in a state where conversion therapy is outlawed. Thing is, I was put into conversion therapy when I was 17, and the reason it was okay is simply because it was a religious organization run by people who were not trained for therapeutic practice and were classified as just “religious counselors”. That’s all they have to do. And if your family is willing, they will absolutely always find a way to try to change you by force. The institutions that exist to hurt trans people will never stop, not with any amount of scarce validation that often only comes in online spaces populated by trans people grouping together and validating one another just to stay alive because the world hates us so much our suicide rates are absurdly inflated. So y’know.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry society - which includes myself, though we're probably in different countries - has failed you and other trans people so badly.
I'm sorry your family failed you in such a profound way. It's disgusting how much people can get away with in our country by just invoking Christianity. Anti-conversion therapy laws are useless without holding them accountable, too.
As someone who has recently begun questioning their gender, hearing about that sort of shit frightens me to my core. I’m sorry that you and many others like you have had to put up with that for so long.
Honestly, make-up and female-presenting fashion is an art honed over time. All you can really do is practice and experiment to see what looks works for you, which you're doing pretty well. That Wednesday Addams dress is a look I love it xx
I was once....a bozo. Now I see the many contradictions therein. Thank you very much, Thought Slime, for educating me and many others. I'm still ignorant about lots of things, but I'm trying to learn all I can.
I am legit so happy for you for coming out Thought Slime!! I saw parts of your stream yesterday and even now, you seem a lot more comfortable than you did before. I can't wait to see you continue to grow!!
This is an old video but that speech about how hard being trans is, as a a recently awakened trans woman, made me feel very seen so if you ever see this Mr Slime, thank you for that
you don't think there are some times where aggression is justified? when, for example, you're defending your right to be yourself and exist against people who think they can define you?
@@helvete_ingres4717 So nobody other than a psychologist who specifically taught at Harvard is allowed to evaluate the state of the professional consensus among psychologists? Or to evaluate the basic non-field-specific questions of experimental design quality? Or exercise basic critical-thinking skills? Does this only apply to reactionary psychologists who taught at Harvard, or are the rest of us supposed to completely change our thoughts whenever a former Harvard psychology teacher disagrees with the last one we heard?
@@M_M_ODonnell read carefully and the claim was that someone with many academic citations in a field doesn't understand the field in question, made by a random youtube goon. When I say Richard Dawkins doesn't understand theology (a subject he is a mere polemicist in) I don't feel the need to, out of a feeble spite, claim he doesn't understand biology (which he is a professor at Oxford in). My RADICAL claim here is that, it's really infinitesimally unlikely someone who 'barely understands psychology' was ever hired to teach at Harvard
“Mildred kinda sounds like mildew ... which kinda goes along with the whole slime aesthetic” Classic synthetic leftist, don’t you know the working class DOESN’T WANT ANY SLIME OR MILDEW?!
Understanding toxic masculinity came pretty naturally to me considering male gender roles destroyed my self-esteem. Also, thank you SO much for mentioning Jim Stephanie Sterling. It's absolutely shitty that their coming out not only hurt their subscriber count hard but the same bozos celebrated when they dropped below 900k.
Thank you for putting out this super cool comment ^^ is it okay if you edit Jim Stephanie Sterling's pronouncies to they/them instead of she/her? Jim Stephanie said in their videos that they only use they/them pronounce
I almost feel bad for unsubbing to their channel. To be honest, it had been a long time coming. For the past year or so, I was getting tired of the same old topics over and over again. If it wasn't queer representation, it was loot boxes. If it wasn't loot boxes, it was capitalism bad. I agree with ALL of those things but I just can't watch the same things over and over, ad nauseum. I'm sad that it coincided with their coming out because then if I told anyone that I unsubbed, they'd instantly think that it was because of the gender thing when it couldn't be further from the truth. So in conclusion, I want people to know that their channel had been kind of lacking for a while and everyone who unsubbed is not a bigot. Great video, Mildred. Love your work!
Finally! Someone else who identifies as "Hey! Hey you! Yeah, you, over there", who is likely to injure themself whilst attempting to skate. I feel so seen. Congrats on reaching your Purple Lighting Leftist phase
7:23 I use the same argument for people that tell me "swearing isn't lady like" to those people, I say, Too Bad! I, as a lady, can decide what is or is not lady like, because I am a lady, therefore, things I do are lady like.
oh god the trans anxiety expressed near the middle of this video is one of the best explanations of a feeling i still haven’t gotten over years into my transition. thank you SO much Mildred. i genuinely can’t express how cathartic it was to hear my own feelings given voice. I’m losing my family and my old friends and every safe space i previously had. I can’t imagine how it is to be trans feminine in the same environment. anyhow i’m kind of losing the thread here but i just wanted to express a big thanks 👍🏼
As a hetero man, I find so-called 'traditional masculinity' in America to be outdated. Nothing wrong with men having hobbies that do not fit into what being a man is or is not. As least I can treat a woman with respect. I can never say I was ever comfortable with cars, wars, sports, lawns, and other crap that is 'important' in America. I am happy being a nerd over things that do not need conforming rules.
Culture had a short memory. Nowadays with “sigma male mindsets” all the rage, all my friends see me as like the archetypal masculine guy, and don’t believe me when I tell them how relentlessly I was bullied for being perceived as feminine as a teen. Things that made you feminine or “a f*cking f*gg*t, what are you, like some kind of h*m*?” in the late 90s: -reading fantasy books like The Lord of the Rings (this was before the movies) - liking to cook - not being interested in sports - not being interested in cars except which cars get the best gas mileage - treating girls, in general, how you would want other guys to treat your sister - being good at math - playing chess The list goes on. I can’t tell you how many times I was called a f*ggot, and I really was, and am, just like, really straight and cis-gendered. My point is, no one could really win at the gender game. There never was a “masculine enough.”
@@asmodiusjones9563 there are some good things about traditional. Making your self physically fit, being willing willing to compete, having personal responsibility. But, of course, there was plenty of bad shit. I think that we need to learn to take what was good from "classical" ideologies, and leave behind the bad.
@@orionar2461 Yeah but those are not “traditional” ideas, those are just good ideas in general that everyone promotes. Besides, I had all those characteristics even in high school. At the same time I was being called a f*gg*t p*ssy, my main recreational activities were hiking/mountain climbing and paintballing (I was really good at both). And in terms of challenging myself, I graduated high school with an associates degree because I took college classes for high school. None of those things stopped people from calling me a f*cking h*m*. There was literally nothing I could do to stop people from calling me that, and I was and always have been a really masculine guy. I can’t imagine what it’s like for guys who are more feminine. By the way I remembered another thing which made me g*y, which is that I didn’t drink or do drugs.
@@asmodiusjones9563 well, that's alot of the bad shit of how traditional masculinity gets applied. I think it's part of the stuff we need to leave behind.
I once met a guy who thought that toxic masculinity meant masculinity as a whole is toxic. He argued that the only thing toxic about masculinity is men like me who acknowledge toxic masculinity.
That's rather why it became the term, so that people would make that assumption. It also lets people make that implication and then hide behind the academic definition.
@@JackNorthNexus i just love how people are willing to believe everything you say if you have an academic title, even if it is in a different field entirely i cant wait diagnose people as psychopaths after i finish studying chemistry
I swear the right never learned grammar--getting offended by pronouns, prefixes, and adjectives... like toxic masculinity is to masculinity as spoiled sushi is to sushi; I love sushi but I want the good kind, not the kind that will kill me
I know it was hard for me to come to terms with being a trans man. I don't conform to stereotypes but I still have a strong innate sense of my own masculinity and a surreal disjunct between my reproductively female body vs my instinctual sense of self, something I've experienced for as long as I can remember. As a cell and molecular biologist, I've had access too and experience in reading primary research papers, and some really interesting stuff has been found supporting the existence of trans and nonbinary people. Instinctive gender sense, like instinctual mate preference, seems to have a few strong components that are set during fetal development. It seems that part of the self-identification system can be set to expect itself to be attached to a male body, a female body, not to have an explicite sex expectation, and or anything in between, and does not need to match one's external genitalia or possible presence of the SRY gene . This interacts with hormonal surges and with neurotransmitter cascades associated with external experience, resulting in an internal sense of self that can be on the trans-nonbinary-genderfluid spectrum. Additionally, portions of the brain responsible for monitoring your physical body and comparing it to an ideal blueprint, used in monitoring things like injury or tumors, can be set so it doesn't match one's reproductive sex, and can create a stress reaction stimulus to primary and secondary sex characteristics (ex: in clinical trials, pre-therapy trans men show a response similar to touching a tumor or an embedded foreign object when their breast tissue is touched, a very different physiological response compared to the cisgender women in the study.) Also, some trans people experience very different physical reactions to surges of "sex" hormones compared to cisgender people, suffering cycles similar to overdose when their natural testosterone or estrogen levels spike, and react with improved health to hormone replacement therapy (while many cisgender people would respond with malaise to such treatments). Essentially, the human body is extremely complex, and there is a ton more I can go into. Biology supports the existence of transgender people.
As someone who started HRT five years ago and have to jump every fucking medical hoop imaginable just to get access to testosterone I feel seen by this vid so much... thank you, Mildred!
As a nonbinary person who also presents with their birth gender more than I'm really comfortable with for all the reasons you laid out I felt that whole speech in my bones. I fully support your move to be more feminine and appreciate you sharing that on here.
I remember in middle school there was this boy I was friends with who liked the color purple, and everyone including the adult teachers made fun of him for it. People are the worst.
I mean this in the best possible way: as a more femme version, you look like you were plucked straight out of an Addam’s family movie. Might just be the outfit, but it seems very inspired by AF, and I know you’re a big fan, so I thought the pieces fit.
Yeah, the Peter Pan collar (I think that's what it's called) and the black and white, not to mention the on-point name. Very Wednesday. Who is big heroine forever, so a great role model.
They have always been critical of Capitalism, it's just that now they actually call it by name. Which proves how stupid and economically/politically illiterate bozos are.
At the "I'm not going to say who these bozos are talking about so as not to ruin their day" bit, totally thought they were talking about Sterling right up until mentioning them by name later.
You’re looking fantastic. Presenting in a way that matches your inner self is so difficult, but the only way to look truly amazing. I don’t know you irl but you seem to be nailing it.
In his book, "Intimate Enemy," Indian author and psychologist Ashis Nandy writes poignantly about "hyper-masculinization" as a by-product of centuries of modern colonization, both for colonizer AND colonized. Under the colonizing ethos, masculinity equates with violence, aggression, physical and sexual abuse, mercilessness, etc. With this dynamic in mind, it follows that the process of decolonizing might appear to the already hyper-masculinized as some sort of feminization; BUT note, decolonization ACTUALLY indicates a movement TOWARD and/or return to healthier gender roles.
Im a cishet man and yet I have been always been extremely suspicious of all these supposedly "manly man" interests, attitudes and activities I have been culturally supposed to adhere to for all my entire life.
Gender roles are just bad for everybody. I live in a fairly conservative province where the burden of being a man is alive and well. Men here just work. That's all they do. It has been impressed upon them that they have to work to support their families. This puts a huge amount of stress on men and their families. My dad got up and worked 12 hours a day at a job he hated. Absolutely hated every second of it. But he had a wife and 3 kids to support. He felt he didn't have any other option. My Papa, my dad's dad, was the same way. This does not make them particularly happy people. What I've noticed, is that women also tend to stick to pink professions. In Alberta, almost every man I know works in the trades and women work in pink professions. There's no way you can support a family on a pink profession salary. You make way less sitting at a desk than you do as say, a plumber. It's really sad living in a place where all anyone ever does is work.
I find that there is some good about the particular care for work ethic and personal responsibility in traditional masculinity. But like you said, it it often warped to a 1D way of being only about work, determination, and being the provider. Having a guidance for how to behave for x isn't necessarily bad (we like having commonalities so we can create communities), but can became bad when we exclude those guidelines from non x who could find good in those guidlines or take those guidelines from 5/10 intensity to 11/10
Thank you so much for consistently being open and thought provoking with the way you handle the topic of gender identity. It's been so helpful for me in figuring myself out, and while I can't speak for anyone else I highly doubt that I'm alone in that regard. You're doing something really good here, and helping move us to a more positive future. 💜
Pro tips for when douchebags question your manhood: 1) They are a douchebag. When they questioned your manhood they identified as a douchebag. Courtesy dictates that you see them as a douchebag and treat them as such. 2) They are playing a Tom Sawyer game trying to trick you into doing something against your own best interest. They may not be aware that they are doing this but they are. 3) Flip it on them. One guy talked about me having long hair so I went on and on and on about how he shaved his face smooth like a woman's. One guy had a problem with me drinking a cider instead of beer in a bar. Obviously he has a low tolerance for alcohol and can't handle the higher proof of cider. Develop a list of common manly man traits that can be spun as feminine, like how football could be called watching a bunch of strong men in tight shiney pants rolling around in the grass trying to get their hands on a ball. Pick one and relentlessly hammer it until they get embarrassed and stfu so you can enjoy your cider in peace.
Also, skipping a thing you really want to do because your makeup just isn't coming together today is a necessary fem right of passage, and what you learn in time is not merely the ways of Sephora and Walgreens, but the art of Just Showing Up Even Though You're Not Sure About What's Going On On Your Face. It's different when someone's filming it, especially when that someone is you, but this is a giant mood, we've all been there, and the opportunity for a do-over when it's coming together well is the dream.
Jesus I can't imagine that. I only paint my nails occasionally and have had a few days where I absolutely would NOT leave the house until I had either fixed or removed the polish I set out to wear that day. For that reason alone I likely will never attempt to do more with makeup.
i started being a lot happier and more confident when i decided that people are literally just out to get me for being me sometimes, and no amount of conformity to their worldview is ever going to change that. instead, i just do what makes me happy and that's worth it for its own sake. live your life on your own terms whenever possible, you'll be happy you did.
"whatever pronouns you've got lying around"
you're great and I'm stealing that line
Right?!? I LOL'd hard at my work desk, at that one. Kudos to Mildred.
I'm absolutely gonna say that when I talk to a gender therapist
I wanna like this, but it's at a glorious 666.
give me the pronouns and no one gets hurt
Look buddy we all know the only REAL way to tell men apart from other people is if they're as swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, and mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
Yes, use this.
And they need to be able to defeat a Hun. That's very important.
Your absolutely right. Which is why Mulan was the manliest man out of all those lads.
FUCK... THERE ARE NO HUNS IN MY AREA oh well being a man isnt that appealing after all
@@nbewarwe Wait, what do Huns do then?
I still hold 80s hair metal groups as the height of masculinity
Saw somebody call that "femininity done masculinely" a few weeks back and I still think about it every day. (It was said in a positive way.)
Manowar - Anthology cover!
Man Nap is the most manly song ever 100% lmao
Same. Literally dripping with masculinity.
Right. They still look so cool even in 2021
Mildred: “Dracula defines men as...”
Me: Are they gonna do the thing?
*plays castlevania game footage*
Me: lol “nice...”
I understood that reference
@@BigLeafyTree and i understood THAT reference
I chortled at der's follow up, with the "mankind ill needs a savior such as you."
"What is a man?"
A miserable pile of secrets
"Than what is a woman?"
"A miserable pile of other people's secrets."
"Dracula defines a man as.." say no more, you've won everyone over with that alone
👏🏾😅😂🤣👍🏾
I’m going through a castlevania special interest at the moment and that made me happy flap
As someone who's never played Castlevania, I feel a little left out that I don't get to enjoy this joke, haha
the magical unicorn says "being a man is cool, but don't be one of these f**knuts in fact you must laugh at them"
SotN is my favorite video game hands down.
I realized 2 weeks ago that I was nonbinary. I have you to thank for that. I'm 44 year's old and all I knew about myself was that I was different from most men. I like cats, I don't like sports, I take baths , I wear women's clothes when me and my wife are gettin'frisky and I thought I was just a weird pervert. And I thought I was okay with that. The problem is that I was depressed and angry a lot of the time. Once I was willing to face the possibility of being nonbinary things finally started making sense. Last Saturday I had a series of anxiety attacks and I knew I had to tell someone. I spoke with my gay brother and I felt like I had taken a mental muscle relaxer. Since then I have felt so much better with a few moments of doubt. I know that the journey has finally begun. Thank you Mildred for everything . Godspeed.
Congrats! Learning more about yourself is so fulfilling!
This is a joke right
Congrats to you!! Good luck on your gender journey! I hope your spouse is good to you and accepting of who you are!
Its hard to figure out. As "men" were not suppose to be vunreable. Were suppose to just be stoic and angry and strong and possesive. Not all of us want to participate in the song and dance of pretending to be societies image of a man. I hope youve got peace and lifes been good to you. Im a cis bi guy somewhere where its not completely safe for me to be open. All i want is every people to be free. All comes back to being a leftist. Every human being is equal ❤❤
"Contempt Warning"
Good one Mildred.
thanks youtube university
Could you tell me their pronouns?
Edit: nvmd. They told me later in the video.
@@sunkcostfallacy2738 It was specified very clearly in the video =x [any/all]
@@JasonMcCarrell Yeah. I asked before I watched the video. Which is why I added the "edit". It was made clear to me. I guess I'll choose to call them "them" personally.
@@sunkcostfallacy2738 No, their pronouns are literally any/all. You want to use "them", use "all" instead.
Example:
Any really does make great videos, I love the way any looks at topics and breaks them down neatly.
I've been subscribed to all for over a year now and I have loved every video any have uploaded.
But I must point out that there is no possessive version, which is why I used "their" up above. Please do give suggestions for ways to alter any/all to be possessive. his/her/their/anyr? XD
How to be a man:
You must be swift as the coursing river
With all the force of a great typhoon
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
I highly doubt Sargon has any of those qualities.
Swift as a tub of molasses
Has the force of a wet fart
Has the strength of a faux candle
Mysterious as a soggy paper bag.
Yup. Penises are beside the point
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight.
It is a great list of traits to be. Of course one of the points of the original Mulan is that women can be all that stuff too. The most important thing is you do you.
@@calebpagel very true, but if it’s okay I wanna “yes and” that statement with the fact that Mulan has always been very gender-bendery. Exhibit A:
“When will my reflection show who I am inside?”
Mildred can only be misgendered with the fanciest of pronouns her hate mail is full of solid gold jewel encrusted pronouns.
✨✨⚔️€✨✨
Since Grumbletum gets all the patreon money, maybe that's how she pays rent🤔
"I'm an out, gender-fluid sack of potatoes."
You know what? Potatoes get a bad rep. Potatoes can be so many things. They ARE fluid. Breakfast. Dinner. Snacks. Potatoes don't get old and moldy. They GROW. Leave a potato alone and it will grow vines. Put it with other potatoes and it will also grow and spread. Under the right circumstances, that potato can become delicious alcohol, which can help you get through many social encounters where you'd rather shove a fork in your eye. There is literally no meal where a potato is not welcome.
So I say to you... SHINE you beautiful sack of potatoes, you! You are loved and you are wanted. Potatoes for life!
There have probably been a good few days that I ate potatoes every meal and didn’t think twice
Without potatoes, we don't have fries or vodka. I fucking love potatoes.
Bratkartoffeln mit Zwiebeln und Ei!
Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew
Potatoes are the chads of roots.
Came for trans rights, stayed for the castlevania joke
👏🏾😅😂🤣👍🏾
I literally came out publicly with a Castlevania meme haha love it
@@liesalllies that's next level
@Roshaun Roache I promise someone out there loves you. I don’t know you well enough to say but I’m sure I would too if I did. Your identity is valid and your mistakes are not irredeemable. You can have an internet hug if you’re comfortable.
@@liesalllies OMG I wanna see this meme so bad! I'm so glad to see my favorite series get some love
Dracula: a miserable little pile of secrets
Me(genderqueer): interesting
me (agender): perhaps… i am a man as dracula describes
Based Dracula
perhaps I am a man
maybe the real masculinity was the pile of secrets we hoarded along the way
Mildred was my surrogate grandmother’s name and she kicked ass. Excellent choice. She’d like your lipstick.
She'd also call him a freak
@@donovanlocust1106 pretty sure you don't know this random strangers surrogate grandmother better than they do, you waste of bioelectricity
@@alisonpurgatory85 neither do you
Obviously not lol but I’m not claiming to know anything she’d say, like you are. Waste of bioelectricity
@@alisonpurgatory85 are you just using big words to sound smarter than you actually are? Curious because normally people say "waste of space" or "waste of a soul"
That Wednesday Adams dress is just *chefs kiss* absolutely killing it Mildred, love to see people expressing however they want, fuck social expectations we wear what we want.
Just wanted to say this. You look great Mildred.
Ok but I am too nervous to wear shorts most of the time, I am not sure I have the confidence to wear a dress.
truth.
So cute Mildred!
@@seekingabsolution1907 maybe not yet.
but so much of being a person, a real person that chooses their own existence instead of just coasting, is learning. and learning is done, partially, through practice.
maybe you can't quite get there yet. but if you decide that you want to try, then you can practice towards the doing. and someday, whether through a running start or a crabwalk or some other metaphor, you can try dresses, and see if you like them. and maybe you will and maybe you won't, or maybe just some in some situations. but you'll have chosen, and worked, and made your self. at least that little bit more.
good luck!
another cruel contradiction such people tend to make is:
when a man behaves in a "feminine" way, he'll be called "woman/girl" as an insult, just to harm him, but when trans woman explicitly asks to be called "woman", they will call her "man", just to harm her
they behave like children who are mad that world isn't as simple and as neatly designed as they wish it was, and instead of accepting it and moving on they create a safe space for themselves through means of violence and abuse
Ah, the logic of transphobes (they don't have any)
Ah yes, the other side of the Thought Slime coin: Mind Mildew.
that is one amazing pun
The whole "He looked comfortable in his gender" thing has been levelled at me (I'm a trans woman). It's like these guys don't understand that people who are in the closet are sometimes capable of convincingly performing the gender they were assigned at birth-or in my case, *overperforming* and trying to be super masculine because I thought that would cure my dysphoria. Just because someone knows how to put up a good facade of conformity doesn't mean they're comfortable in the gender they're assigned at birth.
Right? I mean, we get good at *the things we practise hard*.
There's also the concept of the "extinction burst" that I think applies to a lot of us while we're on the verge of admitting it to ourselves but really hoping to be proven wrong.
Well put. A former roommate of mine was a closeted trans woman. She was still living as a man, was an ex-Marine with two combat tours in Afghanistan. She had gone so far to perform masculinity she had literally gone to war and been shot at. She told me later that at the time was still in denial and trying to "man up". :/
We were good friends, and she knew I was trying to be an ally. But she had just been kicked out and made homeless by her own *family* for coming out. When she called me, I came to pick her up and she and all her stuff were on the curb outside her grandma's house. She told me she was kicked out for coming out as an atheist, and I believed her. We lived together for a year and I completely bought that she was a guy, though I thought maybe "he" was gay (she is a straight trans woman).
She came out to me over social media after moving away to California. When I asked why she didn't feel comfortable coming out to me - ie., if I had done anything at all to make her feel unsafe - she said no, but *she just couldn't take the risk*. Her own family had rejected her after all; it wasn't easy for her to trust. :(
Anyway, there's a happy ending. She's out and proud now, living a much more fulfilled life, and her shitty family don't have any control over her nor any more ability to hurt her. She has friends and found family who love her for who she is now.
Knowing her really made me think a lot harder about performance and how being an ally isn't enough. We can't just create safe spaces here and there, that's not good enough. As long as cis privilege exists, trans people can never fully trust us no matter how much we try to earn that trust. We need to abolish that privilege. We need a radical transformation of society so no one has to go through what she did ever again.
I’ve had the same experience from the sidelines. My high school friend who was most traditionally masculine in their demeanour and presentation later came out as a trans woman. It was a really good signifier to me about how different people try to navigate the difficult space of understanding and being in the world with such feelings of non-alignment.
As a trans guy, this has been thrown at me too. I learned very early in my puberty that by "leaning into" the gender expression expected of me, the better I was treated by people. I'd like to think it's pretty normal to want to be treated well....
It's strange - as someone who was always got the funny looks before I came out, for wearing mismatched gendered signifiers, I got the 'why can't you just be (my agab) but gender nonconforming? ' reaction. It's almost like cis hegemony is just opposed to trans people existing regardless of our demeanor. 🤔
"Men will become women, women will become men": I sleep
"Drag queen will begin wearing cargo shorts": real shit?
Update: drag race had a queen who's entrance look was based on Guy Fieri that's probably as close as we're getting for now
Mildred is a killer name. I love "vintage" names making a comeback
Beatrice has been my longtime favorite
@@chaotickreg7024 I didn't use to like (or dislike) that name but then I played Night in the Woods and now I really like it
@@hazelnotxyz I just remember reading it as a child and going
"... ... ... Beat Rice???... ... ..."
Then I heard it pronounced and I loved the vowel swing.
We need more trans people with virtuous names like 'Temperance' that'll really make the conservatives clutch their pearls
@@alisonpurgatory85 or 'Chastity' or 'Purity'
"If you are a man, whatever you do is technically masculine." I even held this idea when I was conservative. I didn't have a lot of friends growing up, until like 11th grade, so hearing talk about "revoking my man card" over some BS was something new to me that I didn't put up with even back then.
Me when my dad asks me why I'm wearing dresses in public and when I'm gonna cut my hair as if this has not been the masculine tradition for several milleniums
@@ravnaroks6469
broke; dresses are nice
woke; i am the vanguard upholding a millennia of masculine tradition
Masculine gender is a social construct, male sex is not.
@@KangMinseok Actually, male sex has also been around for a long time. It wasn't even taboo in Rome, Gaul, or most of Greece. And even if it were a new thing, it isn't like anyone is making you have male sex.
@@paulelkin3531 you are confused. Sex is biological, our genetics determine our sex. Nature is "making you have male sex", if you will.
I'm a 32 year old cis woman who feels like I have no idea what I'm doing with makeup and you found a better red lip match to your skin tone than I ever have. You look great. We all do. You got this. Just keep exploring and then washing it off when you're not thrilled. That's the only way I have ever found to find a moment where I feel okay going outside in something fun and it takes a long time even if you do grow up with it being socially acceptable. You got this.
Thoughtslime's key to mental health: allow yourself one miniature breakdown every time your patron credits roll.
Hey, I’m a trans guy, and I just wanted to thank you. You have such a way with words when you talk about trans struggles, you bring up stuff I hadn’t even really thought about and make me feel proud of my identity. Thanks :]
I'm a trans man too! Thought Slime's stuff is really informative and honestly comforting :]
But he doesn't really care about you because he's an asshole who hates different opinions
@@donovanlocust1106 did you really go looking for nice, positive comments to post this on
Trans guys unite!
I never understood the idea that even if these people are such a small percentage of the population that it somehow means that its alright to ignore their problems or treat them equally, this is like refusing medical treatment for a rare strain of cancer because it makes up such a small percentage of people.
People who do that just aren’t thinking very hard about it, or they don’t feel enough empathy for other human beings.
F in chat for Mildred’s Chin. Get well soon bb.
She kinda pulls it off, makes them look badass, like she could punch a fash
I second that get well soon bb
As someone who never really had reason to question his gender identity, this was helpful. I've often wondered why gender labels mattered so much to some people, and I feel like I understand that better now that I've watched this. Thank you.
That's awesome!
I still don't get it. But I hate labels in general.
@@Alex_Barbosa it is quite tough to wrap your head around it. I'm kind of the same place as you, in that I hate labels in general.
I do see the social pressure to perform in certain gendered ways, and I dislike that social pressure, I don't see myself a victim of it, it just feels mildly annoying.
BTW if anybody needs more help wrapping their heads around gender, check the "Identity" video by Philosophy Tube. She came out as a trans woman in the middle of the video, after explaining very well how she feels to perform a gender she's not.
@@HassanSelim0 Oh yea that was a great video. She's a great performer. But it didn't help me understand how she felt at all.
Because all humans categorize their surroundings.
And it's already proven that children need a strong masculine role model in their life if they want independence.
Parents want (and have the right) to shape their children how they see is most healthy.
And the state is clearly trying to feminize men.
Boys who can't sit still in school get put on testosterone interrupting drugs.
"We, the white cis het gamers, are actually the MINORITY being oppressed"
*BOTTOM TEXT*
@Grand Rabbi Moshesteinbergshekelwitz Normality is subjective.
@Grand Rabbi Moshesteinbergshekelwitz please stop harassing us, you're literally a Neo-Nazi who says he's a Neo-Nazi.
@@alexscriabin ay! How you gonna change minds with that attitude? Sorry to come out you (you are wonderful I'm sure and just pissed off with the constant abuse and can't take it anymore.) but I want you to take a step back and ask if you enjoy being judged so quickly. I personally probably would have been named a neo-nazi by you just a year ago, I changed because I realized I was just spouting out the same nonsense I'd heard in an attempt to feel 'normal'. So whenever you hear someone say this, rather than bashing them recognize that infact, the reason all of us are struggling, is because we just want to feel normal, but ARE different EVERYONE is different from eachother. Sorry to rant at you, I love you, but a kinder approach changes more minds. Telling people they are bigots only makes them mad. Just like how when we get called unfriendly things we get mad. Thats all have a nice day! I'll say it one more time. Please don't spread hate. (This isn't for just them but anyone who reads it, thanks.)
@BroadTeamFaba ANIMAL CROSSING, is NOT A REAL, VIDEO GAME
"a lot of my audience is trans or otherwise gender non-conforming, because, you know, I treat them like human beings, and that is unfortunately a rare quality and they like to watch my videos" I literally just did finger guns for you for saying that
And that's how you get brainwashed lmao. xd
I was so sad when you didn't immediately reference Dracula's definition, but you had me in the first half. I should have known better.
I was sad we didn't get Plato's definition but it was used for a visual gag so I'll take it
@@The_Jovian what is plato's defination?
@@CRIMSONBAMBOO-g6f A featherless biped.
@@CRIMSONBAMBOO-g6f a featherless biped, to which Diogenes the cynic famously burst into Plato's lecture holding a plucked chicken while yelling "behold! A man!"
@@The_Jovian Diogenes, the First Creationist. 😂
Taking the energy of "TRY AND CHANGE MY GENDER YOU FOOLS-- IM NOT TRAPPED IN HERE WITH YOU, YOU'RE TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ME" and carrying it into the world with my whole queer heart.
Conservatism: everyone should be treated as an individual
Also conservatism: you should conform to our particular group identity and performance or you'll scare children
The second one is conservatism. The first one is liberalism. "Conservatives" won't tell you about that.
Children: Hey, this person looks neat and unique and seems cool! Let's see what's up with them.
They don't say you'll just scare children. They say this exposure irrevocably damages them. By letting them be curious little humans who find beauty and wonder and joy in the things adults have murdered in ourselves. Thank crust I found ways to revive that joy in myself.
Look, of course there need to be certain paremeters to how you're allowed to express your personality and individuality.
I thought Hannibal was a pretty cool show but I don't get to murder and cook other people in pursuit of self-expression. And obviously trans-people shouldn't be able to present in ways that don't conform with the traditional interpretation of how somebody with what was in their pants at birth (cause good conservative babies are born fully clothed) ought to present.
Those two things are equivalent and equally harmful to other people, it's so obvious you silly muppets.
@@LisaBeergutHolst nah you’re wrong first one is libertarian second one is liberalism
I just wanted you to know that I think you have actually changed my mind on this topic. And I do appreciate it. Thank you.
In The Eyeball Zone, every month is Pride Month.
And also Mildred's birthday.
The War of Wokeness to kill traditional Masculinity is Visible on Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars,
Indiana Jones, James Bond, and so much more.
But on the other hand, as people point out, 'Traditional Masculinity' is kinda made-up and it was always made-up.
So both sides are kinda Dum-Dum, tbh.
I mean, to put it into a smaller-and-therefore-more-approachable Example:
Wokeness is totally wrong for offing James Bond after embarassing him BUT old James Bond's Way-with-the-Woman was also very dumb, as 'Cinema Therapy' literally just days ago pointed out in a video.
Or: Yes, Doctor Who's statement after the Doctor became a Woman ("I got an UPGRADE!!") made the whole
Globe Crin-e, yes, BUT even before Wokeness took over,
the fact that Amy Pond tried to cheat on his Husband with the Doctor; an Ancient Alien;
also made me Cr-nge... duh...
@@nenmaster5218 Fair point. I won't comment on your view, but I do appreciate the recognition of both sides a bit. Also, to add to the wokeness part you mentioned, there is the fact that media often caters to the public in a way that the public doesn't always want. As in, for example, pride month, many people in the LGBT lament about the aggravation of being used as a selling point for companies that genuinely care not for our struggles or for us in general. The media always seems to go to the extreme, imo, at least in certain aspects of that stuff, but overall, I see the wokeness features you mentioned to be far less harmful for a society in terms of preconceptions of gender roles and expectations than the "traditional masculinity" aspect. At least, that's how I see it. One falls more extreme than the other in my eyes as of now.
@@kiralonely To explain how silly wokeness is:
Imagine a cast of well-established and liked characters (just imagine any long-running show you know well; doesnt mean which, just choose one) and then imagien someone coming in and replcing them ALL by Gay People.
Oh, but not any gay people, but make them REALLLLLLY badly written, just because, ok?
Yeah, that's kinda what we're dealing nowadas. Inclusion so badly-made that we kinda lose all hetero-males. Lol much...
Imagine the ability to be comfortable with being a gender. I'm not even comfortable being in the same room as one.
That's the spirit
Honestly i think I might be allergic to them, the one time I was near one, I felt pretty damn sick
@@rowbot5555 spirit ? better call the Ghostbusters
They aren't great!
Yeah, imagine being comfortable with who you actually are.. what a crazy idea.. 😅
mildred is rocking the wednesday addams chic
Mil-Dread.
Mildred looks like Eleven from the first season of Stranger Things.
This is a powerful look. Somehow severe but also chill and cool.
@@erstwhilegrubstake Miltroid Dread, if you will. There’s probably some slime in that game.
This is the vibe I got too, and I absolutely love it.
Hello officer, yes, this is the person who tried to murder me with laughter by slipping a Castlevania quote into a video about toxic masculinity. Book them!
Edit: Is the person you're not naming a certain English RUclipsr with a channel about philosophy and who has a surname that refers to a pointy part of a plant? Are they referring to someone talked AT LENGTH in her coming out video about how exhausting it was performing her old masculine role for, like, months, before finally taking the leap and coming out to her fans? The one who is also a professional actress, which is probably how she could convince so many people that she was comfortable presenting as masculine for so long after realizing she was trans? Is that the person these bozos say was totally just a normal, comfortable man (while producing videos with elaborate makeup and costume changes, which I think we can all agree are major parts of "traditional conservative masculinity") before "randomly" deciding to transition purely for clout? Is that who they're talking about? If so, I think "Bozos" may be too nice a way to refer to them.
You had my like based on your joke about Attempted Murder by Clever Reference Comedy...but THEN you went on to ask the rather key question I'd wondered. So that was pretty good, and then you ALSO pointed out how said RUclipsr's coming out, and OTHER videos, quite literally ADDRESS the various ways in which tans folk continue to perform the gender they're in the process of abandoning.
(P.S. Pretty cool how I put off watching this video a bit, so the latest bit o' philosophizing over on the other channel relates to this one, to a degree.)
You see, Carlgon and Angry-at-Cartoons man think someone would "become" trans for attention because they themselves have no real values or beliefs. They would change their tune at the drop of a hat to make their audience happy and continue to feed them what they want to hear. They are applying their spineless view of the world onto an experience they don't understand and actively despise.
Edit: I look forward to Ghost of The Eyeball and House of The Eyeball Zone.
👍🏾💯👏🏾
This‼️👆🏾
I also love that they use the term "validation" to describe it. They're parroting the words of real grown-ups, but taking a totally batshit leap of logic to end up where their audience wants them to go. Like, "They came out to a group that was already friendly to them and generally accepting of trans people, because they thought it would be a safe way to get validation for their identity. Why would someone do such a thing if not for financial gain?!"
It’s because they themselves are terminally-online dorks. They can’t conceive of anything but clout.
I'm personally looking forward to TS's "Eyeball with a Vengeance" and "2 Eyeball, 2 Eyeballer"
"House of the Eyeball Zone"
There is a place in hyperspace
They caaaaaaallll the Eyeball Zone
It's brought Eyeballs to many a poor soul
And god, I know, I'm one...
(Well, not really since I can't be arsed to do all the stuff it takes to make good YT content, much less get in the Eyeball Zone, oh well)
"War on men", "culture war", war here, war there, they sound like those messianic sects that constantly make you think you're in the middle of some sort of epic battle for the fate of the world.
Don't forget the most important war of them all: The War on Christmas!
The States has a real hard-on for that militant life. Hell, look at how a blockbuster depicted Spartans. You wanna sell your snake oil to boomers and the boomer-inclined, you'd better make it a war.
Way too much military nomenclature used in everyday conversation in the US, not just the "war on -" hyperbole. Capitalist jargon is also pervasive.
If only we invested in trans rights the way we invest in wars.
You'd think they'd come up with a different term after getting smoked in the war on drugs.
YOU CANT MAKE SLIME PINK!!!! SLIME IS GREEEN!!!!!
YOU’VE STARTED THE WAR ON TRADITIONAL SLIMEHOOD!!!!
If you don’t refer to yourself as “Spooky Mildred” on Scardey Cats that’ll be a real missed opportunity. Love you, Mildred!💜
Scaredy Millie
Ah, but then it doesn't rhyme! It'll have to go something like "hey there scaredy kindred, I'm scaredy Mildred"
Chillie Millie Scaredilly
@@madmaxrockatansky heeee~
MilDREAD seems good.
"I did fall off my skateboard, and hit my chin very badly against a bench"
Classic Mildred move
The idea masculinity is "banned" is utter nonsense. The highest paid actor is the Rock, one of the most popular TV shows on right now is Love Island. The funny things is just going outside, would dispell everything these people say, put unfortunately they pray on individuals who don't have much of a social life.
You simplify this way too much, mate.
There is no "war" per say but here is the problem they might be trying to point out and either deliberately using to fuel hate or just not able to express properly.
I am a straight guy who can't date due to religious reasons and also due to massive social anxiety and because I am short. I am a prime candidate for those hateful monsters and infact once WAS an MRA due to them.
Here is the issue; I live vicariously via videogames and movies and TV. Years ago when I was an MRA it was even more true than it is now. And at the time it was true for me, videogames that used to cater to me not only changed to also cater to women but also to NOT cater to me. Biggest point is Mortal Kombat X and XI where Shao Khan is still wearing a lioncloth, Johnny Cage is shirtless but Skerlett is literally wearing a niqab and burqa. It was hard enough to see women wearing less clothes back in Pakistan but now the ONLY outlet I had outside porn to see women dressed provocatively was going away and I was angry at the people who kept pointing it out and made it go away. AND I initially kept that anger when I came to the US. I was a Pakistani Muslim immigrant who was a Trump supporter. (now I am on the far left)
Luckily for me I am also brown and I have machine learning skills and plain luck that got me a job that I love so I was able to let go of my anger even just by being kept busy in something else. Without these two things white men are very vulnerable to right-wing extremism peddlers and a simple way to remedy this is to just have the option to keep Kitana and Jade in an outfit that is ALSO common in actual MMA and not attack their ONLY way outside watching porn to express their sexuality safely.
lol how many dwayne johnsons you see on the street every day?
@@piratesephiroth I don’t see a lot of rocks, but I see plenty of traditionally masculine looking men when I walk around in my pretty leftist city. Sometimes it’s me. I got all kinds of fits.
I myself am a miserable little pile of secrets.
Same
I'm more of just a pile of miserable.
Ditto
"If masculinity is biological, and biology is immutable, how can men be feminized?" Ohhh shit. I never even thought of it that way. That's brilliant!
My masculinity is safely secure in my underpants, so what does it matter if I wear a dress over it?
@Susan Wojcicki Is Asshoe My parents reinforced masculinity onto me and my dad took me on tons of manly bonding time camping trips. I'm gender nonconforming because I actually didn't like what I saw from all that time around men. The more it was reinforced, the less I liked it. Femininity always seemed more appealing, but it's not for me either. The answer is to just take a healthy combination of the two, and then leave everyone else alone about their own identity. If you tell me to "Be a man" then I'll just say "What's up bro" a couple times while I'm painting my nails.
My point is just that your claim only describes a very slim portion of the trans/questioning experience.
@Susan Wojcicki Is Asshoe Gender dysphoria can start at a young age, sure. But that isn't the end of the conversation about gender. You don't need to have dysphoria to be trans.
@Susan Wojcicki Is Asshoe
What you're describing is an old school narrative that psychologists used to use to explain the existence of queerness or transness in people assigned male.
Before they did any fucking research whatsoever.
Amazingly, the narrative for queer or trans people assigned female was also that it was caused by mothers...in this case, cold, unloving mothers.
Amazing. Almost like it was just a kneejerk, misogynistic blaming of women for a thing they saw as a problem, which they got away with for a while at the first half of the 20th century because psychology was new and profoundly undisciplined half-quackery!
So basically, why the fuck is anyone still repeating such utter shite? Have some phrenology while you're at it.
@Susan Wojcicki Is Asshoe It's not bad to be gay! Being bisexual is an advantage!
If you want to site numbers, then bring me numbers. Don't just ask me to imagine how many trans people regret transition, I want you to come at me with studies if you're going to make a point based on numbers. I'm sure most trans people are actually happy with who they are now.
"Whatever pronouns you have lying around, I'm not fancy" I'd buy that merch
This gave me strength, I'm gonna go wear a cute skirt I've been afraid to, fuck it
Way to go! 👏 I hope you feel yourself and happy!
That's the spirit 💪💪💪👍
Heck yeah!
rock that fit
Yessss!!! Do it, you'll look cool!!
Finally, comrade slime can live their ideal life as a member of the addams family
Intersex is "Statistically Irrelevant" like left-handedness. Put together, all the things that can go wrong when a zygote differentiates between the Mullerian, and Wolffian ducts are as common as southpaws. At one point, we thought there was something literally sinister about those, too.
10% of people are left handed and I don't know the percentage of intersex people are you saying both of these groups are statistically irrelevant?
@@sixela6 No.
@@Psiberzerker I can't read
my grandpa was refused a job because hw as left handed and he is 96 today
@@supercoolguy4829 My dad (born in the 70's) have been traumatized by his teachers forcing him to write with his right hand. They would even get _physical_ with him.
Holy shit I burst out laughing at "somehow this fucks up video games in particular." The delivery, the content, just... everything about that joke was perfect!
Me too, there's so much brilliance in the video but that stands out.
The War of Wokeness to kill traditional Wokeness is Visible on Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars,
Indiana Jones, James Bond, and so much more.
But on the other hand, as people point out, 'Traditional Masculinity' is kinda made-up and it was always made-up.
So both sides are kinda Dum-Dum, tbh.
I mean, to put it into a smaller-and-therefore-more-approachable Example:
Wokeness is totally wrong for offing James Bond after embarassing him BUT old James Bond's Way-with-the-Woman was also very dumb, as 'Cinema Therapy' literally just days ago pointed out in a video.
Or: Yes, Doctor Who's statement after the Doctor became a Woman ("I got an UPGRADE!!") made the whole
Globe Crin-e, yes, BUT even before Wokeness took over,
the fact that Amy Pond tried to cheat on his Husband with the Doctor; an Ancient Alien;
also made me Cr-nge... duh...
I have always been torn about this. As much as I want every character I play in a game to have giant bouncy tits, I'd be willing to give up the ability to do so to spite conservatives.
"I do not require anyone else's exceptance or permission"
Bravo
Don't feel bad about your make up! Make up is an art that just like any other art requires practice. I am a high femme cis woman that has taught people of a variety of gender identities how to do it and the one thing that I see over and over is the want for it to be perfect from the start. You will get there its just a matter of time. I love the Wednesday Addams look btw.
Honestly as another cis woman they’ve done their makeup better than I have even after years of wearing it lmao, I’m gonna need some tutorials from them!
"it's humiliating to stumble my way through a gender presentation that i haven't been conditioned to wear gracefully since childhood"
hit the nail on the head there friend
This is why I'm not trans, just non binary. It felt so odd trying to perform a role that was never assigned to me, and I felt like I was just a poor imitation of a woman or something. I am really curious about where those feelings fit in the trans experience because I myself can't understand the trans experience, and I don't want to deny it to people that really need it.
@@chaotickreg7024 this is exactly why I think transgenderism is sexist. It acknowledges the existence of a binary and baits people into just fetishizing the opposite sex.. I think aiming for a single gender is like what would cause the best outcomes for people both culturally and, for their health.
Also, there is the TERF argument which I tyyoicslly thought was stupid, but I’ve heard people say it. There are MTF trans people who do it just to reap social capital, I’ve unironically heard of dudes saying they wanna go trans so they can just be a housewife and have their husband take care of them.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this became a problem, striving for androgyny to me counters a lot of the dogma associated with our current roles. Even if we try to make a new understanding of them, I still think there is too much baggage associated with how people view them.
@@pablobear4241 I agree with you, on one very important condition. The present time is *not* really ready for that, and an incremental shift would probably be best. Trans people are still valid and we owe them a lot for making huge strides in the social justice realm. We can't exclude trans identity from the feminist movement just yet, their experiences are very important.
But progress should be towards a "single gender" as you put it. That sounds optimal to me.
@@pablobear4241 I think the TERF argument is not completely settled. The other stuff about trans fetishization might just be examples of unconscious gender dysphoria, and these people should just go ahead and be a gay housewife if they really want to that would be great for them.
But yes, both genders come with a sort of dogma that we could eventually do without.
So, I’m a trans woman myself, and I live in a state where conversion therapy is outlawed. Thing is, I was put into conversion therapy when I was 17, and the reason it was okay is simply because it was a religious organization run by people who were not trained for therapeutic practice and were classified as just “religious counselors”. That’s all they have to do. And if your family is willing, they will absolutely always find a way to try to change you by force. The institutions that exist to hurt trans people will never stop, not with any amount of scarce validation that often only comes in online spaces populated by trans people grouping together and validating one another just to stay alive because the world hates us so much our suicide rates are absurdly inflated. So y’know.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry society - which includes myself, though we're probably in different countries - has failed you and other trans people so badly.
I'm sorry your family failed you in such a profound way. It's disgusting how much people can get away with in our country by just invoking Christianity. Anti-conversion therapy laws are useless without holding them accountable, too.
I will never understand why transphobes think the transgender suicide rate is a statistic in their favour. You caused it!
I’m glad you’re still here. Sorry you suffered so much.
As someone who has recently begun questioning their gender, hearing about that sort of shit frightens me to my core. I’m sorry that you and many others like you have had to put up with that for so long.
Honestly, make-up and female-presenting fashion is an art honed over time. All you can really do is practice and experiment to see what looks works for you, which you're doing pretty well. That Wednesday Addams dress is a look I love it xx
Ah fuck i just realized that on Scaredy Cats the host will be MilDREAD
Oh my goddddddddd, we can only hope!
Epic!
He did it! 💸💸🎉🎊🎁🎇🎷🎸
Mildred: *I'm not trapped in here with you, YOURE trapped in here with ME*
Me: * *flips table* * LETS GO ENBIES, GALLS, AND ALL Y'ALLS WOOOO
I'm from Texas and now I really need to shout this a lot, may I steal your words? 😂
I was once....a bozo. Now I see the many contradictions therein. Thank you very much, Thought Slime, for educating me and many others. I'm still ignorant about lots of things, but I'm trying to learn all I can.
MILDRED SUITS YOU SO WELL like it's a name that takes a very specific vibe to pull off and that vibe is yours
I am legit so happy for you for coming out Thought Slime!! I saw parts of your stream yesterday and even now, you seem a lot more comfortable than you did before. I can't wait to see you continue to grow!!
This is an old video but that speech about how hard being trans is, as a a recently awakened trans woman, made me feel very seen so if you ever see this Mr Slime, thank you for that
You're our favorite sack of potatoes, Mildred 💜💜
Why do people look at aggression as a good thing. It's good to be assertive, not aggressive.
Then there is the brain fuck that when a woman is assertive she is called aggressive but when a man is aggressive he's called assertive!
you don't think there are some times where aggression is justified? when, for example, you're defending your right to be yourself and exist against people who think they can define you?
@@alisonpurgatory85 i don't think being aggressive towards someone does anything but hurt the group you belong to as a whole
@@alisonpurgatory85 you’re not describing aggression; you’re describing self defense, which is the opposite
@@meruscales I mean sometimes you have to be agressive not to save yourself but to save others, so I can see it being justified in some edge cases
As a non-binary femboy, I just wanna say I’m saving this video, cause this is gold. Btw you look fabulous, Mildred ❤️
"Takes a real man to be a best girl"
- Tutshzi, the war guy
A fellow man of culture. You earned my like.
I love when a Psychologist (Peterson) pretends he understand sociology better than sociologist
He barely even understands psychology. I’ve seen what he’s written in his books.
@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick I guess you've taught psych at Harvard then? B/c otherwise I don't see how you're qualified to make that comment
@@helvete_ingres4717 So nobody other than a psychologist who specifically taught at Harvard is allowed to evaluate the state of the professional consensus among psychologists? Or to evaluate the basic non-field-specific questions of experimental design quality? Or exercise basic critical-thinking skills? Does this only apply to reactionary psychologists who taught at Harvard, or are the rest of us supposed to completely change our thoughts whenever a former Harvard psychology teacher disagrees with the last one we heard?
@@M_M_ODonnell read carefully and the claim was that someone with many academic citations in a field doesn't understand the field in question, made by a random youtube goon. When I say Richard Dawkins doesn't understand theology (a subject he is a mere polemicist in) I don't feel the need to, out of a feeble spite, claim he doesn't understand biology (which he is a professor at Oxford in). My RADICAL claim here is that, it's really infinitesimally unlikely someone who 'barely understands psychology' was ever hired to teach at Harvard
@@helvete_ingres4717 I’m not in politics either, but HERE we are, smart ass.
My dad laughed at the standard concept of masculinity and he was the best man I've ever known.
“Mildred kinda sounds like mildew ... which kinda goes along with the whole slime aesthetic”
Classic synthetic leftist, don’t you know the working class DOESN’T WANT ANY SLIME OR MILDEW?!
Hmmm, "BORGAR KING" 🤣
BORGAR KING
Sewer socialism now!
Mildew would be a cool name for them honestly
Understanding toxic masculinity came pretty naturally to me considering male gender roles destroyed my self-esteem.
Also, thank you SO much for mentioning Jim Stephanie Sterling. It's absolutely shitty that their coming out not only hurt their subscriber count hard but the same bozos celebrated when they dropped below 900k.
Thank you for putting out this super cool comment ^^ is it okay if you edit Jim Stephanie Sterling's pronouncies to they/them instead of she/her? Jim Stephanie said in their videos that they only use they/them pronounce
I'm not subscribed, but I should be so I'll go do it right now :)
@@AndyTheWatchdog Sorry. I was actually thinking about that while writing. Forgot if they went by she/her or they/them. No problem!
I almost feel bad for unsubbing to their channel. To be honest, it had been a long time coming. For the past year or so, I was getting tired of the same old topics over and over again. If it wasn't queer representation, it was loot boxes. If it wasn't loot boxes, it was capitalism bad.
I agree with ALL of those things but I just can't watch the same things over and over, ad nauseum. I'm sad that it coincided with their coming out because then if I told anyone that I unsubbed, they'd instantly think that it was because of the gender thing when it couldn't be further from the truth.
So in conclusion, I want people to know that their channel had been kind of lacking for a while and everyone who unsubbed is not a bigot.
Great video, Mildred. Love your work!
I've been a fan of Sterling since 2013 or so, so unsubscribing now wouldn't make any sense, especially for something so trivial.
Finally! Someone else who identifies as "Hey! Hey you! Yeah, you, over there", who is likely to injure themself whilst attempting to skate. I feel so seen.
Congrats on reaching your Purple Lighting Leftist phase
7:23 I use the same argument for people that tell me "swearing isn't lady like" to those people, I say, Too Bad! I, as a lady, can decide what is or is not lady like, because I am a lady, therefore, things I do are lady like.
Fuck yeah!
oh god the trans anxiety expressed near the middle of this video is one of the best explanations of a feeling i still haven’t gotten over years into my transition. thank you SO much Mildred. i genuinely can’t express how cathartic it was to hear my own feelings given voice. I’m losing my family and my old friends and every safe space i previously had. I can’t imagine how it is to be trans feminine in the same environment. anyhow i’m kind of losing the thread here but i just wanted to express a big thanks 👍🏼
as I question my gender identity i become increasingly afraid that I don't want to present as masculine... and the more not doing so terrifies me....
@@wesleywyndam-pryce5305 Yeah this is where I'm at too. That rant hit hard.
Mildred's anger shook me to my core. It so clearly tore up from so deep, and I feel every word of it even though I've only cracked half a year ago
As a hetero man, I find so-called 'traditional masculinity' in America to be outdated. Nothing wrong with men having hobbies that do not fit into what being a man is or is not. As least I can treat a woman with respect. I can never say I was ever comfortable with cars, wars, sports, lawns, and other crap that is 'important' in America. I am happy being a nerd over things that do not need conforming rules.
Culture had a short memory. Nowadays with “sigma male mindsets” all the rage, all my friends see me as like the archetypal masculine guy, and don’t believe me when I tell them how relentlessly I was bullied for being perceived as feminine as a teen. Things that made you feminine or “a f*cking f*gg*t, what are you, like some kind of h*m*?” in the late 90s:
-reading fantasy books like The Lord of the Rings (this was before the movies)
- liking to cook
- not being interested in sports
- not being interested in cars except which cars get the best gas mileage
- treating girls, in general, how you would want other guys to treat your sister
- being good at math
- playing chess
The list goes on. I can’t tell you how many times I was called a f*ggot, and I really was, and am, just like, really straight and cis-gendered. My point is, no one could really win at the gender game. There never was a “masculine enough.”
@@asmodiusjones9563 there are some good things about traditional. Making your self physically fit, being willing willing to compete, having personal responsibility. But, of course, there was plenty of bad shit. I think that we need to learn to take what was good from "classical" ideologies, and leave behind the bad.
@@orionar2461 Yeah but those are not “traditional” ideas, those are just good ideas in general that everyone promotes. Besides, I had all those characteristics even in high school. At the same time I was being called a f*gg*t p*ssy, my main recreational activities were hiking/mountain climbing and paintballing (I was really good at both). And in terms of challenging myself, I graduated high school with an associates degree because I took college classes for high school.
None of those things stopped people from calling me a f*cking h*m*. There was literally nothing I could do to stop people from calling me that, and I was and always have been a really masculine guy. I can’t imagine what it’s like for guys who are more feminine.
By the way I remembered another thing which made me g*y, which is that I didn’t drink or do drugs.
@@asmodiusjones9563 well, that's alot of the bad shit of how traditional masculinity gets applied. I think it's part of the stuff we need to leave behind.
I once met a guy who thought that toxic masculinity meant masculinity as a whole is toxic. He argued that the only thing toxic about masculinity is men like me who acknowledge toxic masculinity.
That's rather why it became the term, so that people would make that assumption. It also lets people make that implication and then hide behind the academic definition.
Oh, JoJo Peterman trying to wheedle his way out of saying he’s a eugenicist is one of my favorite clips
Oooh…. Eugenics gets majorly under my skin, being born with craniofacial deformities. (Goldenhar Syndrome)
@@dennisyoung4631 I'm mentally disabled so I'm not even supposed to be able to breed
@@JackNorthNexus As a professor it'd be best to examine your beliefs and find out if they're good beliefs.
@@JackNorthNexus i just love how people are willing to believe everything you say if you have an academic title, even if it is in a different field entirely i cant wait diagnose people as psychopaths after i finish studying chemistry
@@od3910 yes
I swear the right never learned grammar--getting offended by pronouns, prefixes, and adjectives... like toxic masculinity is to masculinity as spoiled sushi is to sushi; I love sushi but I want the good kind, not the kind that will kill me
I know it was hard for me to come to terms with being a trans man. I don't conform to stereotypes but I still have a strong innate sense of my own masculinity and a surreal disjunct between my reproductively female body vs my instinctual sense of self, something I've experienced for as long as I can remember.
As a cell and molecular biologist, I've had access too and experience in reading primary research papers, and some really interesting stuff has been found supporting the existence of trans and nonbinary people. Instinctive gender sense, like instinctual mate preference, seems to have a few strong components that are set during fetal development. It seems that part of the self-identification system can be set to expect itself to be attached to a male body, a female body, not to have an explicite sex expectation, and or anything in between, and does not need to match one's external genitalia or possible presence of the SRY gene . This interacts with hormonal surges and with neurotransmitter cascades associated with external experience, resulting in an internal sense of self that can be on the trans-nonbinary-genderfluid spectrum.
Additionally, portions of the brain responsible for monitoring your physical body and comparing it to an ideal blueprint, used in monitoring things like injury or tumors, can be set so it doesn't match one's reproductive sex, and can create a stress reaction stimulus to primary and secondary sex characteristics (ex: in clinical trials, pre-therapy trans men show a response similar to touching a tumor or an embedded foreign object when their breast tissue is touched, a very different physiological response compared to the cisgender women in the study.)
Also, some trans people experience very different physical reactions to surges of "sex" hormones compared to cisgender people, suffering cycles similar to overdose when their natural testosterone or estrogen levels spike, and react with improved health to hormone replacement therapy (while many cisgender people would respond with malaise to such treatments).
Essentially, the human body is extremely complex, and there is a ton more I can go into. Biology supports the existence of transgender people.
This sounds fascinating. Could I get sources/DOI's?
Seconding sources
would love some sources!! that sounds so interesting
I too would enjoy some sources; this is fascinating!
That sounds really interesting and blows another hole into the whole "biological sex" bullshit. Not that bigots are gonna care.
As someone who started HRT five years ago and have to jump every fucking medical hoop imaginable just to get access to testosterone I feel seen by this vid so much... thank you, Mildred!
TESTOSTERONE THE GREATEST SPAGHETTI
@@Catterjeeo love me some testosterone al sugo [Italian hand]
As a nonbinary person who also presents with their birth gender more than I'm really comfortable with for all the reasons you laid out I felt that whole speech in my bones. I fully support your move to be more feminine and appreciate you sharing that on here.
"eNFORcInG GeNdeR StrIcTUreS iS GoOD!!1! >X) "
God, even PRETENDING to be a bozo feels TERRIBLE!
"I won't call him by some girl's name, because you can't just pick what you want to be called."
"Just call me Bubba. It's my nickname."
🙄
I remember in middle school there was this boy I was friends with who liked the color purple, and everyone including the adult teachers made fun of him for it. People are the worst.
Wow, purple? Even the teachers? Damn, that sounds like a really dreary place...
@@drago3036 Just a really rural area where anything outside of the norm was frowned upon unfortunately
I mean this in the best possible way: as a more femme version, you look like you were plucked straight out of an Addam’s family movie. Might just be the outfit, but it seems very inspired by AF, and I know you’re a big fan, so I thought the pieces fit.
I had the same thought!
Yeah, the Peter Pan collar (I think that's what it's called) and the black and white, not to mention the on-point name. Very Wednesday. Who is big heroine forever, so a great role model.
THAT'S WHAT IT WAS! Thank you so much. I was sitting here thinking "this looks so familiar", but yes, Wednesday Addams!
@Bob H That brings back memories. I had one or two of the books as a kid. And Mildred Hubble is indeed an excellent name for a noncomformist witch.
I'm here for the Diogenes posting and making fox news mad about nothing
Someone a lot smarter than me once said “the only way to remain a tolerant society is to be intolerant of intolerance”.
Ball-scryers is definitely a more appropriate term for terfs.
What's messed up is that Sterling didn't change their content one bit, yet still lost a bunch of subs. Maybe just the trash taking itself out.
i think people got upset about sterling calling out the fnaf guy on his sh1t and pointing out how capitalism is bad.
They have always been critical of Capitalism, it's just that now they actually call it by name. Which proves how stupid and economically/politically illiterate bozos are.
At the "I'm not going to say who these bozos are talking about so as not to ruin their day" bit, totally thought they were talking about Sterling right up until mentioning them by name later.
“I do yearn to present different but there’s so much fear and societal pressure wrapped up in that”.
That’s me.
Finally, someone referencing the only valid source on defining men, Dracula.
You’re looking fantastic. Presenting in a way that matches your inner self is so difficult, but the only way to look truly amazing. I don’t know you irl but you seem to be nailing it.
In his book, "Intimate Enemy," Indian author and psychologist Ashis Nandy writes poignantly about "hyper-masculinization" as a by-product of centuries of modern colonization, both for colonizer AND colonized. Under the colonizing ethos, masculinity equates with violence, aggression, physical and sexual abuse, mercilessness, etc. With this dynamic in mind, it follows that the process of decolonizing might appear to the already hyper-masculinized as some sort of feminization; BUT note, decolonization ACTUALLY indicates a movement TOWARD and/or return to healthier gender roles.
"I'm throwing away my masculinity, Jojo!"
Im a cishet man and yet I have been always been extremely suspicious of all these supposedly "manly man" interests, attitudes and activities I have been culturally supposed to adhere to for all my entire life.
Gender roles are just bad for everybody. I live in a fairly conservative province where the burden of being a man is alive and well. Men here just work. That's all they do. It has been impressed upon them that they have to work to support their families. This puts a huge amount of stress on men and their families. My dad got up and worked 12 hours a day at a job he hated. Absolutely hated every second of it. But he had a wife and 3 kids to support. He felt he didn't have any other option. My Papa, my dad's dad, was the same way. This does not make them particularly happy people. What I've noticed, is that women also tend to stick to pink professions. In Alberta, almost every man I know works in the trades and women work in pink professions. There's no way you can support a family on a pink profession salary. You make way less sitting at a desk than you do as say, a plumber. It's really sad living in a place where all anyone ever does is work.
I find that there is some good about the particular care for work ethic and personal responsibility in traditional masculinity. But like you said, it it often warped to a 1D way of being only about work, determination, and being the provider. Having a guidance for how to behave for x isn't necessarily bad (we like having commonalities so we can create communities), but can became bad when we exclude those guidelines from non x who could find good in those guidlines or take those guidelines from 5/10 intensity to 11/10
Thank you so much for consistently being open and thought provoking with the way you handle the topic of gender identity. It's been so helpful for me in figuring myself out, and while I can't speak for anyone else I highly doubt that I'm alone in that regard.
You're doing something really good here, and helping move us to a more positive future. 💜
really felt you on the "talks about skateboarding more than I skateboard" bit, Mil :')
Man I feel the wanting to present differently! 41 years old and only just getting comfortable in my own skin ❤
Pro tips for when douchebags question your manhood:
1) They are a douchebag. When they questioned your manhood they identified as a douchebag. Courtesy dictates that you see them as a douchebag and treat them as such.
2) They are playing a Tom Sawyer game trying to trick you into doing something against your own best interest. They may not be aware that they are doing this but they are.
3) Flip it on them. One guy talked about me having long hair so I went on and on and on about how he shaved his face smooth like a woman's. One guy had a problem with me drinking a cider instead of beer in a bar. Obviously he has a low tolerance for alcohol and can't handle the higher proof of cider. Develop a list of common manly man traits that can be spun as feminine, like how football could be called watching a bunch of strong men in tight shiney pants rolling around in the grass trying to get their hands on a ball. Pick one and relentlessly hammer it until they get embarrassed and stfu so you can enjoy your cider in peace.
I love all of this.
Hell yeah
I'm particularly fond of the 3rd one. Love it!
MMA is the most homoerotic thing I have ever seen.
Also, skipping a thing you really want to do because your makeup just isn't coming together today is a necessary fem right of passage, and what you learn in time is not merely the ways of Sephora and Walgreens, but the art of Just Showing Up Even Though You're Not Sure About What's Going On On Your Face. It's different when someone's filming it, especially when that someone is you, but this is a giant mood, we've all been there, and the opportunity for a do-over when it's coming together well is the dream.
Jesus I can't imagine that. I only paint my nails occasionally and have had a few days where I absolutely would NOT leave the house until I had either fixed or removed the polish I set out to wear that day. For that reason alone I likely will never attempt to do more with makeup.
i started being a lot happier and more confident when i decided that people are literally just out to get me for being me sometimes, and no amount of conformity to their worldview is ever going to change that. instead, i just do what makes me happy and that's worth it for its own sake. live your life on your own terms whenever possible, you'll be happy you did.
I'm a trans woman who only just started transitioning and coming out, and I just want to say... thanks, Mildred. Much love
Same