Why I celebrate EVERY HOLIDAY ALONE & my Tesla *BREAK-IN* nightmare | Hannah’s Diaries

Hi everyone, Happy Friday! Welcome to the 4th entry of my diary. Being alone during the holidays might seem odd to some people, but as a first-generation immigrant, it's normal.
For me, the toughest part of being a 1st-gen immigrant isn’t the grind of school, work, or going to the hospital alone. It's the stark contrast during the holidays, celebrating everything alone while others have their families nearby. When people ask, 'What are your holiday plans? Any fun activities with your family?' it stresses me out.
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At first, I tried explaining that I don't have family here, but it led to awkwardness and some started treating me differently. Nowadays, I just smile and nod, saying, 'Yeah, spending time with the family,' playing along with the expected script. Funny, right? I was trying to fit into this picture of happiness everyone else seems to have.
'Am I happy?' It's a question I ask myself often. I used to think, 'Once I get that degree, I'll be happy,' or 'Once I work at that company, I'll be happy,' or 'Once I live in that city, I'll be happy.' But I realized that none of these external factors determine my happiness.
I think this is also partly why I started living in my car. I wanted a simpler life and wanted to figure out what makes me happy. It might sound extreme, but stripping away the noise of everyday life has given me space to think. No TV before bed, no endless scrolling on my phone. Just me and my thoughts. It's simpler, but somehow I feel like I’m getting closer to finding the answers to what I truly want in life.
I think happiness is something we define for ourselves. Through this journey, I'm starting to look inside for validation, realizing I've always had what I needed right here. I have always been complete.