Clayton Olson Coaching. i think i'm a little bit of some of the 7. I'm learning a lot about myself in my senior years & am enjoying it very much. I have signed up for your srminar tomorrow & looking forward to what is going to be revealed to me. Thank you for your helpful videos & services!
Beginning of vid - "...we're gonna talk about..." Um, no, we are not going to talk, only you are. No idea why you're saying "we" when you're only referring to yourself.
1. The Ball buster 2. The Mother 3. The Femme fatale 4. The Chameleon 5. The Damsel in Distress 6. The princess 7. The business woman Thanks for the video Clayton! There is a lot to think about. I think I have the business woman and chameleon in me..Trying to find the balance at the moment.
As soon as you mentioned a chameleon I knew it was me, and knew I would be attracting a narcissist. There is safety in the chameleon archetype because as long as my partner is self-obsessed, my true and vulnerable self remains hidden.
@@marionlammers5554 it's a learned behavior from suffering from childhood narcissistic abuse. Protective mechanisms exist for a reason, when your primary caregiver abuses you that behavior becomes deeply ingrained and alters brain chemistry permanently. Unfortunately growing up like that teaches you to violate your own personal boundaries and to have no sense of self. She attracts narcs as an adult because the red flags normal people see so clearly are like a lighthouse in a storm to certain types of women. It seems insane to be attracted to someone who will abuse you, but really it's all based on chemical dependency that is created through trauma bonding. These types of relationships are literally addictive. The extreme highs and lows fuck up your brain and make it so hard to walk away even if your conscience mind tells you that this is a terrible way to live. In a perfect world the op could openly be herself. But until she recognizes why she is chronically attracted to the narcissist it would be dangerous for her to do so.
Do you know your attachment style? Mine is healing fearful avoidant...and they are notorious chameleons. It begins in childhood as a survival/needs meeting strategy. It’s a deeply rooted coping mechanism to feel safer and in control. Much of what I was doing was subconscious programming, narratives based on my core wounds. Healing and connection to self is possible! 💫
This is just brilliant material, clear and to the point, bravo! Great work! There are so many roles that women play in order to protect their sense of vulnerability, while trading in their chances for true intimacy.
I’m the mother, chameleon, and sometimes damsel in distress. As far as the chameleon goes, my parents were very strict with me and I felt the need to always lie to them to please them. I’ve never been my “authentic” self with them 😔
Yes, I had very strict parents. Would resort to lying just to not get screamed at over the tiniest thing. I'm a chameleon. Always losing myself,f in a relationship, my needs are drowned out by my own partners need to have everything their way, all day long.
@@absolutelynot6086 Establish a talk once per week and learn to express and discuss what you think is right. Plus I don't believe it is necessary to talk only about needs but an overall direction of the relationship. And you certainly play a role in that. It doesn't have to be always too active or too controlling but also not omitting to give input sometimes. You will learn throughout the relationship. Nobody is just perfectly born right off the factory. Also self talk matters, if you tell yourself, that you are too passive it paints an unrealistic picture. We are all dynamic and learning
This video was amazingly insightful. I’ve been healing the shadow of my chameleon, thank you for bringing more to light. I loved how you shared the high vibrational expression as well the lower. 🙏🏾✨✨✨
Its simple because women has full range of emotion that adapts well to different situations. So instictively you become all of those traits depending of whats required of you.
OMG I'm a ball buster I identified with those characteristic immediately you hit the Nail directly on the head with this one definitely hit home . Great video ♥️♥️♥️
This is sooo powerful. And I can think of different relationships where I’ve been a lot of these different roles and exactly the type of guy I attracted!
I love understanding archetypal behaviors. I have been in the mother and business woman role. The latter one was more successful. Thank you Clayton...you are awesome!!
I don’t know how I came across this video but I’m defintely the ball buster and the chameleon going between the two archetypes. I have also been the damsel in distress at times. Great video!
Such a great and applicable video. I find myself a combination of two of those archetypes where one is more prominent. You’ve definitely enlightened me more of my past patterns and it has motivated me to stay authentic. Thanks Clayton.
I feel all women at times reflect all of these behaviors ,certain ones more frequent! Its good too be cognisant when excessive! Once again thankyou for your insight. I would like to hear your observation of what a healthy women and a healthy man is! What types of healthy female and male personalities are compatable
I’m definitely the first one ball buster aka Artemis lol... I don’t hate men, I love them, but I do have a hard time trusting them at the beginning. I do get disconnected to their respect. It takes me a long time to commit by the time I do, I have lost them. I like attracting men smilier to me because every other type of guys other archetypes women attract I have attracted too! it doesn’t work for me. Either their too weak, mommies boys, narcissistic, I definitely don’t need a hero lol. I agree, men who are a reflection of me, we can lack intimacy and respect. It takes some work.
Tracy Gallegos wow! I never looked at it like that. That they were reflections. I don't start out that way tho, I ease into the ball busting. I have to look inside to find the answer for that one.
I had similar traits as I was younger, it just brought all the sides of me out to the front - wittiness, being capable, useful, smart, interested in the world and much more. I also had to be, because I had to fight for so much. What I think we don't see is the real essence of men. We actually don't see and don't recognize them. Imagine a hero or just a balanced masculine man, than can lead, that can take your traits and make them useful without it being over the top or random. Like shooting all over the place. If you have a hard time - then confide in him once in a while and let him correct you sometimes. Actually both can profit off of that. Men are honorable, take responsibility, ensure long term stability, long suffering, sacrificing their peace and time, working for a cause, want improvement and can help, are capable, are knowledgeable, protectors, leaders, teachers. Just not always in a way we as women want them to do. They do it in a masculine instead of feminine way. That can cause frustration, but we can remain curious instead of dismissive. I can recommend to watch some men's channels or traditional channels.
@@TheShamuraja I can definitely imagine a well balance masculine man! A man who lead without control. I understand the masculine energy very well. I love masculine men! I got married to one lol.. what I think is important to know, there’s the true masculine and the fake one. The true masculine man will let you be who you are without control. He runs right beside you. He’s truly confident in who he is! It took me 36 years to find him because I kept on meeting the wrong masculine men.
I'm a mix of role nr. 5, 6 and 7.. i feel lucky because to me it sounds like the perfect mix and I work daily with my insight to make sure I always keep the flexibility and not fall in to just 1 role. I do that to make sure I also attract the guy that is also felxible and takes over more then just "the one" role 👍
Thank you so much for this video I’m a guy and I’m learning so much about what I don’t want to be like in a relationship. I saw a bit of myself in all of the negative types of guys you mentioned that these archetypes could attract if not handled in a balanced way. I can’t thank you enough
Great video! As a gemini I can switch roles very easily... just to keep things interesting. I'm a hybrid of the femme fatale & ball buster with shades of nurturing & vulnerability. I never stay in a role, but rather embody it according to my mood or to spice up the relationship. I'm currently with a very sweet (but dominant) man who is focused on building a deep connection with me.
I am none of those( used to be)but still single 😭😭😂. I have a lazy archetype. More like I promise nothing and live in the now, expect nothing. Ask for nothing. Men feel I am too laid back. It's because I understand myself now and my astrological placings the nodes in 1st and 7th house meaning spiritual growth is where I find fulfillment not relationships. Whether they stay or leave am level headed. As I grow older I am learning to relax even more and understand relationships are gifts not a must have. If men don't feel needed they hide and run. Lol I need someone with the same placings because I get bored quickly 😂
Very interesting and I could see how these archetypes resembled women I know and in myself. I was the mother type until I started pursuing my career diligently and became more like the business woman. I also saw parts of me in all the archetypes but these two stood out the most. It's also interesting that I came across this video now because I've been struggling with balancing my nurturing self vs my move forward get out of my way self and this video gave me a new perspective on it.
Another "aha insight" Clayton, hyper focus on Independence vs Inter-dependence ...the dance of In-to-me-I-see , yikes vulnerability, Intimacy. My chameleon & business archetype keep me from losing myself in relationship Ive come to realize. I need stronger boundaries :0
Great info! I definitely like the way you broke it down to clearly explain for others to understand not only each role but the type of men each one attracts along with helpful advice to become better as a person and in the relationship. Very good advice!
I really like these archetypes as touch points to think about how we develop our relationships, but what was especially helpful is understanding how the underlying trait attracts corresponding men. Also, helping us to understand how these behaviors develop from our early learning. I think it's great when the realization becomes the fact that life won't become perfect by finding the perfect man, but investing in one's emotional well being results in healthy relationships all around, and that becomes a great life of growth and opportunity and an increased ability to find a person who is committed to the same.
I think that many girls are raised to be chameleons and not be independent in thought, to defer to their partner. Until you have a sense of yourself that's easy to do, to go along with someone in that way. It's always better to not blend into someone else but to have your own identity eventually. God help those men who are married to a princess or B. buster. You should always treat each other with respect and value what the other brings to the relationship. Thanks for the talk, Clayton.
I was impress that most of the archtypes you describe is exactly what I experienced myself and see my friend went though. Very informative video. Thanks a lot!
I feel you are correct about the pitfalls of these archetypes but the challenge is that many women (myself included) carry facets of all these types within us and we have to express or suppress them in varying degrees to attract certain guys. I feel I need to be what he needs me to be so I can get a fair chance and not be rejected early for quirks and idiosyncrasies Then he gets hooked on whatever version of myself I present and there’s a fear of losing him if I don’t keep up the “show”. Then inevitably the overthinking, making concessions and bending to his whims and routines becomes too exhausting and I usually bail out. After years of this, it’s hard to even truly know my authentic self anymore because I’m capable of being so many different types of women.
I def identify with the femm fatal or siren archtype and am recently realizing how my 20's was filled with alot of the darker aspects of this type. This video is spot on
Awesome video!! I can definitely put myself in every one of these categories and I also see where I can balance others more than others that I am naturally drawn to being myself.
I am the ball buster, because occasionally we like to kid around, but we have trust not to go to far. I am the mother because there are times he needs to be cared for, just as he cares for me. I am the femme fatale when I feel the need to be intimate and find a way to get him into the mood. I am the chameleon as there are times when he feels vulnerable so I find compassion and try to comfort him in sharing his emotions. I am the damsel in distress as I find I cannot complete tasks that require a specialty, or sometimes some muscle. I am the princess when I feel he has noticed something special about me and in making me feel admired I can compliment him in all he does. I am the business woman because I feel we should share moments and things without one of us feeling left out. I don't see myself in any one category. Mind you it has taken experience and years to get to this point. I am vulnerable and I know it now. Yet I am open to allow another to be who they are as long as there is trust which means being truthful. I stopped hiding the pain and if something upsets me I think before I speak so I try not to make it worse. With the last part do I fall into a particular category?
I do believe you have the top quality relationship videos on RUclips so thank you! I read an interesting article the other day about a person that decided not to sms in dating unless it’s for practical reasons (heading to supermarket should I get cheese? Type). All communication is basically done by calling each other where you hear the tone of voice and other factors makes communication more clear and intimate. And it can be a way to find a different level of commitment since it takes a bit more effort than sending a text. I love that idea since text messaging add much confusion in dating. Now personally I decided to put dating on the shelf as it drains too much energy needed for more important things but if I decide to jump in again I think I may try that rule!
Clayton: an other time an excellent video. You talk to us so clearly with all your advices, that we are able to understand all the archetypes we women can be playing without noticing it. Thanks.
Clayton Olson Coaching actually, if we understand this female archetypes correctly, are we already hearing the male archetypes already? And by saying this, is it already a sign yet another suicidal female archetype? I'd say yes 😂 In fact it's normal for Sara Lw to request for male version. But I jumped straight to derive the male's version just by basing on female version. Which, as with any partnership, any unclarity is to be asked. Not assuming like this. Clayton you get what I'm saying?
A person will always sway one side to another in these archetypes....If you were completely balanced then you are a borderline munk....people are not munks...we make mistakes and can loose track of where we are because inbetween all that your living or at least trying to...if we immersed ourselves in self perfection there wouldn't be time for anything else.
I really struggle with the chameleon archetype and I tend to end up in a relationship dynamic where my partner stubbornly expects everything their way, all the time, to a draining effect. By going along with my partner in everything to please him I make it worse, by not doing what he wants it causes conflict and stress and upset and makes it worse...I have a bit of the businesswoman aspect too, but maybe because my ex financially exploited me to a degree (I paid for everything I think ihe bough me a coffee, once) I am super careful about making sure everything is split equally.... how do we break the chameleon pattern? I end up running away from a relationship after about a year and a half because I completely lose myself and any sort of autonomy over my life. My partners suffocate me. I cant even choose how spicy I like my food (mild) without sparking drama, because my fiancee likes spicy food, therefore I have to, and I'm just being difficult for having my own mind.
I have dated the ball buster, the business woman, the femme fatale and the damsel in distress. The worst one was the damsel in distress as she always played the victim. The business woman was ok once I asked her if she was with me in a romantic relationship or a purely a financial relationship. Once I told d I was not interested in the latter, she changed her approach. The ball buster, in my view, went too far. However, she softened her comments once I called her out in front of her friends
I am 2. The Mother, but also i grew up in a home where I never felt enough, and no matter how I felt or thought was insignificant. No matter how I tried to please my parents, it was never enough. And I don't know how to stop feeling not enough. I end up mothering, because I try to give someone what I want. I have always been mature, and, trying to be better. But the not good enough thing, makes me not be able to accept when people want to do really nice things for me, but i feel good when i give. I feel drained at this point...
It’s okay if you feel not enough and it’s important to recognize that just because that’s how you feel doesn’t make it true. And if you don’t want to be a mother find you a guy that doesn’t want one😃
Thank you very much for sharing this 7 archetypes that is behaved in the subconscious. This vedio helped me in reflecting myself deeper and more clear in the relationship.🌹
Hi Clayton. Another great video! I was the chamelon in my 14 year marriage that ended 2 years ago. You were spot on with that one, he was a narcissist as well. I've spent the past 2 years trying to refind myself and what I want as well as looking into why it happened and how to prevent it in the future. Btw, are there healthy female archetypes in relationships?? Thanks!
This is deep... I really want to get help sometimes learning about all of this is very overwhelminggggg my Pisces moon is like I WANT TO LEAVE HEREEE😂😂😂
Thanks for this video. Success stories would be fun to hear. People, who corrected their dymic or learned throughout their relationship. Everybody has their blind spots and we should not be afraid to learn.
Clayton Olson Coaching I appreciate you and the content you’re sharing. I just found your stuff recently (even followed you on instagram) and am excited that’s you incorporate a number of areas of my interest within your discussions. I’m a lover of the dynamics of intimacy along with the interplay of masculine and feminine energies and it a seems you’ve combined quite a bit of my previous explorations in a more succinct way. You even reminded me to explore David Deida , so thank you! 😃
Thank you Clayton 🙇. I think it depends on the circumstances. End day, I am being myself, life's just too short and I'm trying my best to make the most of it with what I have.
If i reflect, all these qualities are in fact needed in a relationship however, there is an approrpiate occassion for each. If mis-used as you mentioned, it leads to a toxic relationship. Yet, a wise woman has these within her and uses the tools each archetype offers accordingly. Thanks sir Olson. Very beneficial.
aaaahhhhh....I see, My alpha guy resents me "mothering" him which I never understood until explained how a strong man resents being Emasculated, resents feeling forced into playing the role of a boy vs the strong man he is. He resents the subtle form of domination he feels. Now I understand his resentful or bitter tone when he calls me the "Boss" , I come across as controlling , not an equal respect of power throws off the relationship, off kilter, :0 another eye opener. Would this be an example of being in my masculine vs feminine energy? Here I thot I am sooo respectful and considerate, lol. No wonder we butt heads :0 So its not me as a person he resents but resents how he feels when hes with me in this dynamic :0 WoW, Huge revelation for me Clayton, Thank U 4 sharing your insights ~ Appreciated
It’s so easy to understand you. So grounded and so perceptive. What if the guy has traits of conquestor, womaniser, and the guy who wants to show you off, does that make the girl a ball buster, femme fatale and princess! How do you really get out of this!
Hi Clayton,that was interesting, these issues are good to know, we need to grow as a couple, and youve given the compassion there,and elightenment..i dont want the unhappy ways i might make him feel... soo interesting!
Wow never heard it explained that way before i identify with the mother and the business type, Clayton u are right as a mother u do a track weak men that don't take responsibility for nothing🤷
I was thinking great video but I dont know if its accurate and then it happened... he described me. So much so that I paused the video and started anticipating what he was going to say. But what really blew my mind was the reason why I act this way. GREAT video! !!!!
Very good video Clayton, even if a bit longer than usual. ;) I think every woman is a mixture of all these archetypes and it's up to her how well she balance it.
Excellent video! Can a woman have the positive aspects of all archetypes without the negative? I find that we women are multi-faceted... and the way we were raised and the experiences we’ve had growing up and in life in general does determine what we think about ourselves and how we portray ourselves to the world... perhaps the key to attracting a decent mate is to change the way we perceive ourselves and our own value.
Can a woman have the positive aspects of the archetypes without the negative? Of course! It all comes down to whether you are consciously in the role or unconsciously reacting.
I'm a mix of The business woman and princess, I work my ass off because I want to give myself a "trophy life" but deep down I want a high quality man to make me "chill" from work and split the bill, travel with me, build with me. And of course, I'm single af because of that, want I want is difficult.
If i identify with all types what then? I mean i bust their balls if they play games. Im naturally sexy, ( so im told) , im nurturing, i can chameleon if i need to fit in somewhere, i do expect a man to show me who he is, i am a business woman. Im not a damsel in distress though. Opposite usually. I thought these things made a well rounded woman that no matter what comes, that integrity and value is there within. Now it sounds like it was wrong all along. If i identify with all of these in some way and attract every type of man.. Except the one that stays.. So i shouldn't be myself i guess and show all my qualities because its not good now. So confusing. Now what?
Clayton, loved your video! I can definitely see myself being the business woman. My experience not only with men has taught me not to trust anyone. Unfortunately, this does have a great impact on my relationships and i honestly don't know how to be that trusting person or let anyone take of me besides myself. I have been taking care of myself sence i was 11yrs of age I am now 54yrs for reasons i don't care to discuss. How do i let those walls down? Any advise??
Here is the link to the webinar - claytonolsoncoaching.com/7-Roles-3-Keys-Webinar
Clayton Olson Coaching you described me in all. Think I might have multiple personality 😕
Clayton Olson Coaching. i think i'm a little bit of some of the 7. I'm learning a lot about myself in my senior years & am enjoying it very much. I have signed up for your srminar tomorrow & looking forward to what is going to be revealed to me. Thank you for your helpful videos & services!
Beginning of vid - "...we're gonna talk about..."
Um, no, we are not going to talk, only you are.
No idea why you're saying "we" when you're only referring to yourself.
1. The Ball buster
2. The Mother
3. The Femme fatale
4. The Chameleon
5. The Damsel in Distress
6. The princess
7. The business woman
Thanks for the video Clayton! There is a lot to think about. I think I have the business woman and chameleon in me..Trying to find the balance at the moment.
As soon as you mentioned a chameleon I knew it was me, and knew I would be attracting a narcissist. There is safety in the chameleon archetype because as long as my partner is self-obsessed, my true and vulnerable self remains hidden.
Dont you want someone to know the true you?
That is fascinating. My family is RIDDLED by narc's. :-O Those people's are EVIL. Whoa!! Sending you a much needed hug, honey.
Why are you like this?
@@marionlammers5554 it's a learned behavior from suffering from childhood narcissistic abuse. Protective mechanisms exist for a reason, when your primary caregiver abuses you that behavior becomes deeply ingrained and alters brain chemistry permanently.
Unfortunately growing up like that teaches you to violate your own personal boundaries and to have no sense of self. She attracts narcs as an adult because the red flags normal people see so clearly are like a lighthouse in a storm to certain types of women.
It seems insane to be attracted to someone who will abuse you, but really it's all based on chemical dependency that is created through trauma bonding. These types of relationships are literally addictive. The extreme highs and lows fuck up your brain and make it so hard to walk away even if your conscience mind tells you that this is a terrible way to live.
In a perfect world the op could openly be herself. But until she recognizes why she is chronically attracted to the narcissist it would be dangerous for her to do so.
Do you know your attachment style?
Mine is healing fearful avoidant...and they are notorious chameleons. It begins in childhood as a survival/needs meeting strategy.
It’s a deeply rooted coping mechanism to feel safer and in control.
Much of what I was doing was subconscious programming, narratives based on my core wounds.
Healing and connection to self is possible! 💫
Damn, does it make sense that I see a lil bit of myself in every archetype?
Anyone else see themselves that way?
Yeah .. I think we are chameleons 😂
Is mixshould be all fine i think.
Sykle he didnt mention the perfekt woman, a mix should be perfectly fine, i guess..?!
This is just brilliant material, clear and to the point, bravo! Great work! There are so many roles that women play in order to protect their sense of vulnerability, while trading in their chances for true intimacy.
I’m the mother, chameleon, and sometimes damsel in distress. As far as the chameleon goes, my parents were very strict with me and I felt the need to always lie to them to please them. I’ve never been my “authentic” self with them 😔
I can relate to this. Lying became habitual for me, because it was a defense mechanism I used to shield myself.
Yes, I had very strict parents. Would resort to lying just to not get screamed at over the tiniest thing. I'm a chameleon. Always losing myself,f in a relationship, my needs are drowned out by my own partners need to have everything their way, all day long.
@@absolutelynot6086
Establish a talk once per week and learn to express and discuss what you think is right.
Plus I don't believe it is necessary to talk only about needs but an overall direction of the relationship.
And you certainly play a role in that. It doesn't have to be always too active or too controlling but also not omitting to give input sometimes.
You will learn throughout the relationship. Nobody is just perfectly born right off the factory.
Also self talk matters, if you tell yourself, that you are too passive it paints an unrealistic picture.
We are all dynamic and learning
This video was amazingly insightful. I’ve been healing the shadow of my chameleon, thank you for bringing more to light. I loved how you shared the high vibrational expression as well the lower. 🙏🏾✨✨✨
Wow I identified with all of these rolls. Lord help me.
This is actually good... if you can balance it
Maybe, but there's 1 that dominates the others..
So chameleon.
Good
Its simple because women has full range of emotion that adapts well to different situations. So instictively you become all of those traits depending of whats required of you.
Geez, I was all of these archetypes mixed into one. Makes you think about what you need to change. Thank you so much.
OMG I'm a ball buster I identified with those characteristic immediately you hit the Nail directly on the head with this one definitely hit home . Great video ♥️♥️♥️
This is sooo powerful. And I can think of different relationships where I’ve been a lot of these different roles and exactly the type of guy I attracted!
I love understanding archetypal behaviors. I have been in the mother and business woman role. The latter one was more successful. Thank you Clayton...you are awesome!!
I’m definitely The Princess. You read me like a book.
The business woman is my archetype. I'm learning to receive and rely on my partner.
I don’t know how I came across this video but I’m defintely the ball buster and the chameleon going between the two archetypes. I have also been the damsel in distress at times. Great video!
I applaud you for pasting the transcript in the description
Such a great and applicable video. I find myself a combination of two of those archetypes where one is more prominent. You’ve definitely enlightened me more of my past patterns and it has motivated me to stay authentic. Thanks Clayton.
I feel all women at times reflect all of these behaviors ,certain ones more frequent! Its good too be cognisant when excessive! Once again thankyou for your insight. I would like to hear your observation of what a healthy women and a healthy man is! What types of healthy female and male personalities are compatable
I’m definitely the first one ball buster aka Artemis lol... I don’t hate men, I love them, but I do have a hard time trusting them at the beginning. I do get disconnected to their respect. It takes me a long time to commit by the time I do, I have lost them. I like attracting men smilier to me because every other type of guys other archetypes women attract I have attracted too! it doesn’t work for me. Either their too weak, mommies boys, narcissistic, I definitely don’t need a hero lol. I agree, men who are a reflection of me, we can lack intimacy and respect. It takes some work.
Tracy Gallegos wow! I never looked at it like that. That they were reflections. I don't start out that way tho, I ease into the ball busting. I have to look inside to find the answer for that one.
Why are you like this?
I had similar traits as I was younger,
it just brought all the sides of me out to the front - wittiness, being capable, useful, smart, interested in the world and much more. I also had to be, because I had to fight for so much.
What I think we don't see is the real essence of men. We actually don't see and don't recognize them.
Imagine a hero or just a balanced masculine man, than can lead, that can take your traits and make them useful without it being over the top or random. Like shooting all over the place.
If you have a hard time - then confide in him once in a while and let him correct you sometimes.
Actually both can profit off of that.
Men are honorable, take responsibility, ensure long term stability, long suffering, sacrificing their peace and time, working for a cause, want improvement and can help, are capable, are knowledgeable, protectors, leaders, teachers.
Just not always in a way we as women want them to do. They do it in a masculine instead of feminine way. That can cause frustration, but we can remain curious instead of dismissive.
I can recommend to watch some men's channels or traditional channels.
@@TheShamuraja I can definitely imagine a well balance masculine man! A man who lead without control.
I understand the masculine energy very well. I love masculine men! I got married to one lol.. what I think is important to know, there’s the true masculine and the fake one. The true masculine man will let you be who you are without control. He runs right beside you. He’s truly confident in who he is! It took me 36 years to find him because I kept on meeting the wrong masculine men.
I'm a mix of role nr. 5, 6 and 7.. i feel lucky because to me it sounds like the perfect mix and I work daily with my insight to make sure I always keep the flexibility and not fall in to just 1 role. I do that to make sure I also attract the guy that is also felxible and takes over more then just "the one" role 👍
Princess here 👑
Thank you so much for this video I’m a guy and I’m learning so much about what I don’t want to be like in a relationship. I saw a bit of myself in all of the negative types of guys you mentioned that these archetypes could attract if not handled in a balanced way. I can’t thank you enough
Great video! As a gemini I can switch roles very easily... just to keep things interesting. I'm a hybrid of the femme fatale & ball buster with shades of nurturing & vulnerability. I never stay in a role, but rather embody it according to my mood or to spice up the relationship. I'm currently with a very sweet (but dominant) man who is focused on building a deep connection with me.
Wow,
Can you write more about the qualities of that man and how he gained trust with you?
Same here!
I am none of those( used to be)but still single 😭😭😂. I have a lazy archetype. More like I promise nothing and live in the now, expect nothing. Ask for nothing. Men feel I am too laid back. It's because I understand myself now and my astrological placings the nodes in 1st and 7th house meaning spiritual growth is where I find fulfillment not relationships. Whether they stay or leave am level headed. As I grow older I am learning to relax even more and understand relationships are gifts not a must have. If men don't feel needed they hide and run. Lol I need someone with the same placings because I get bored quickly 😂
This is the best video so far. Thank you so much!
Very interesting and I could see how these archetypes resembled women I know and in myself. I was the mother type until I started pursuing my career diligently and became more like the business woman. I also saw parts of me in all the archetypes but these two stood out the most. It's also interesting that I came across this video now because I've been struggling with balancing my nurturing self vs my move forward get out of my way self and this video gave me a new perspective on it.
Another "aha insight" Clayton, hyper focus on Independence vs Inter-dependence ...the dance of In-to-me-I-see , yikes vulnerability, Intimacy. My chameleon & business archetype keep me from losing myself in relationship Ive come to realize. I need stronger boundaries :0
Great info! I definitely like the way you broke it down to clearly explain for others to understand not only each role but the type of men each one attracts along with helpful advice to become better as a person and in the relationship. Very good advice!
Coming from the perspective of a 50 year old man, I appreciate the enlightenment and information derived from this video. Thank you Clayton.
I really like these archetypes as touch points to think about how we develop our relationships, but what was especially helpful is understanding how the underlying trait attracts corresponding men. Also, helping us to understand how these behaviors develop from our early learning. I think it's great when the realization becomes the fact that life won't become perfect by finding the perfect man, but investing in one's emotional well being results in healthy relationships all around, and that becomes a great life of growth and opportunity and an increased ability to find a person who is committed to the same.
I think that many girls are raised to be chameleons and not be independent in thought, to defer to their partner. Until you have a sense of yourself that's easy to do, to go along with someone in that way. It's always better to not blend into someone else but to have your own identity eventually. God help those men who are married to a princess or B. buster. You should always treat each other with respect and value what the other brings to the relationship. Thanks for the talk, Clayton.
Thanks for sharing
I was impress that most of the archtypes you describe is exactly what I experienced myself and see my friend went though. Very informative video. Thanks a lot!
I feel you are correct about the pitfalls of these archetypes but the challenge is that many women (myself included) carry facets of all these types within us and we have to express or suppress them in varying degrees to attract certain guys. I feel I need to be what he needs me to be so I can get a fair chance and not be rejected early for quirks and idiosyncrasies Then he gets hooked on whatever version of myself I present and there’s a fear of losing him if I don’t keep up the “show”. Then inevitably the overthinking, making concessions and bending to his whims and routines becomes too exhausting and I usually bail out. After years of this, it’s hard to even truly know my authentic self anymore because I’m capable of being so many different types of women.
Release them all, I'm serious, you are more than you realise. They need us more than we need them.
Girlfriend, I'd like to say that you sound like a walking art piece. That is something to admire.
Ayesh thank you. That was a kind thing to say
I def identify with the femm fatal or siren archtype and am recently realizing how my 20's was filled with alot of the darker aspects of this type. This video is spot on
Awesome video!! I can definitely put myself in every one of these categories and I also see where I can balance others more than others that I am naturally drawn to being myself.
I am the ball buster, because occasionally we like to kid around, but we have trust not to go to far.
I am the mother because there are times he needs to be cared for, just as he cares for me.
I am the femme fatale when I feel the need to be intimate and find a way to get him into the mood.
I am the chameleon as there are times when he feels vulnerable so I find compassion and try to comfort him in sharing his emotions.
I am the damsel in distress as I find I cannot complete tasks that require a specialty, or sometimes some muscle.
I am the princess when I feel he has noticed something special about me and in making me feel admired I can compliment him in all he does.
I am the business woman because I feel we should share moments and things without one of us feeling left out.
I don't see myself in any one category. Mind you it has taken experience and years to get to this point.
I am vulnerable and I know it now. Yet I am open to allow another to be who they are as long as there is trust which means being truthful. I stopped hiding the pain and if something upsets me I think before I speak so I try not to make it worse.
With the last part do I fall into a particular category?
I do believe you have the top quality relationship videos on RUclips so thank you! I read an interesting article the other day about a person that decided not to sms in dating unless it’s for practical reasons (heading to supermarket should I get cheese? Type). All communication is basically done by calling each other where you hear the tone of voice and other factors makes communication more clear and intimate. And it can be a way to find a different level of commitment since it takes a bit more effort than sending a text. I love that idea since text messaging add much confusion in dating. Now personally I decided to put dating on the shelf as it drains too much energy needed for more important things but if I decide to jump in again I think I may try that rule!
That’s what I do. Text doesn’t convey emotion well
Clayton: an other time an excellent video. You talk to us so clearly with all your advices, that we are able to understand all the archetypes we women can be playing without noticing it. Thanks.
I’m definitely a princess. Some men don’t even ask me questions to get to know me but only admire my beauty which only fulfills me temporarily.
This was very interesting. Thank you. Would be great if you could flip the coin and give us some information on the male archetypes.
Sara Lw I’ve got them! That will be another video
Clayton Olson Coaching looking forward.
Clayton Olson Coaching actually, if we understand this female archetypes correctly, are we already hearing the male archetypes already? And by saying this, is it already a sign yet another suicidal female archetype? I'd say yes 😂
In fact it's normal for Sara Lw to request for male version. But I jumped straight to derive the male's version just by basing on female version. Which, as with any partnership, any unclarity is to be asked. Not assuming like this. Clayton you get what I'm saying?
I feel like I identified with more than just one.......
Thank you for this video! Eye opening.
A person will always sway one side to another in these archetypes....If you were completely balanced then you are a borderline munk....people are not munks...we make mistakes and can loose track of where we are because inbetween all that your living or at least trying to...if we immersed ourselves in self perfection there wouldn't be time for anything else.
Very powerful information. Thank you!
I really struggle with the chameleon archetype and I tend to end up in a relationship dynamic where my partner stubbornly expects everything their way, all the time, to a draining effect. By going along with my partner in everything to please him I make it worse, by not doing what he wants it causes conflict and stress and upset and makes it worse...I have a bit of the businesswoman aspect too, but maybe because my ex financially exploited me to a degree (I paid for everything I think ihe bough me a coffee, once) I am super careful about making sure everything is split equally.... how do we break the chameleon pattern? I end up running away from a relationship after about a year and a half because I completely lose myself and any sort of autonomy over my life. My partners suffocate me. I cant even choose how spicy I like my food (mild) without sparking drama, because my fiancee likes spicy food, therefore I have to, and I'm just being difficult for having my own mind.
I have dated the ball buster, the business woman, the femme fatale and the damsel in distress. The worst one was the damsel in distress as she always played the victim. The business woman was ok once I asked her if she was with me in a romantic relationship or a purely a financial relationship. Once I told d I was not interested in the latter, she changed her approach. The ball buster, in my view, went too far. However, she softened her comments once I called her out in front of her friends
I am 2. The Mother, but also i grew up in a home where I never felt enough, and no matter how I felt or thought was insignificant. No matter how I tried to please my parents, it was never enough. And I don't know how to stop feeling not enough. I end up mothering, because I try to give someone what I want. I have always been mature, and, trying to be better. But the not good enough thing, makes me not be able to accept when people want to do really nice things for me, but i feel good when i give. I feel drained at this point...
It’s okay if you feel not enough and it’s important to recognize that just because that’s how you feel doesn’t make it true. And if you don’t want to be a mother find you a guy that doesn’t want one😃
Thank you very much for sharing this 7 archetypes that is behaved in the subconscious.
This vedio helped me in reflecting myself deeper and more clear in the relationship.🌹
Hi Clayton. Another great video! I was the chamelon in my 14 year marriage that ended 2 years ago. You were spot on with that one, he was a narcissist as well. I've spent the past 2 years trying to refind myself and what I want as well as looking into why it happened and how to prevent it in the future. Btw, are there healthy female archetypes in relationships?? Thanks!
This is deep... I really want to get help sometimes learning about all of this is very overwhelminggggg my Pisces moon is like I WANT TO LEAVE HEREEE😂😂😂
Thanks for this video.
Success stories would be fun to hear. People, who corrected their dymic or learned throughout their relationship.
Everybody has their blind spots and we should not be afraid to learn.
This was really great Clayton! Archetypes are a fascinating topic, and I really love how you incorporated it. Nice work!
Thanks, Lisa. I appreciate you and the encouragement.
Clayton Olson Coaching I appreciate you and the content you’re sharing. I just found your stuff recently (even followed you on instagram) and am excited that’s you incorporate a number of areas of my interest within your discussions. I’m a lover of the dynamics of intimacy along with the interplay of masculine and feminine energies and it a seems you’ve combined quite a bit of my previous explorations in a more succinct way. You even reminded me to explore David Deida , so thank you! 😃
Thank you Clayton 🙇. I think it depends on the circumstances. End day, I am being myself, life's just too short and I'm trying my best to make the most of it with what I have.
Amazing video! Very honest and helpful. Grows awareness.
Watching this AGAIN!❤️
Mindfulness really does help me fully living in the present, more playful and more focus on my happiness.
Definitely the ball buster, princess, and femme fatal
If i reflect, all these qualities are in fact needed in a relationship however, there is an approrpiate occassion for each. If mis-used as you mentioned, it leads to a toxic relationship. Yet, a wise woman has these within her and uses the tools each archetype offers accordingly. Thanks sir Olson. Very beneficial.
aaaahhhhh....I see, My alpha guy resents me "mothering" him which I never understood until explained how a strong man resents being Emasculated, resents feeling forced into playing the role of a boy vs the strong man he is. He resents the subtle form of domination he feels. Now I understand his resentful or bitter tone when he calls me the "Boss" , I come across as controlling , not an equal respect of power throws off the relationship, off kilter, :0 another eye opener. Would this be an example of being in my masculine vs feminine energy? Here I thot I am sooo respectful and considerate, lol.
No wonder we butt heads :0
So its not me as a person he resents but resents how he feels when hes with me in this dynamic :0 WoW, Huge revelation for me Clayton, Thank U 4 sharing your insights ~ Appreciated
Wow i really love this video. Gave me so much insight.
For sure the princess & ball buster😂🤦🏾♀️
There is alot to learn, your advice is amazing. Boy you are right!
Wow this information was mind blowing and so on point! Unfortunately I clearly see now where I stand in these types. The mother. 🙄
It’s so easy to understand you. So grounded and so perceptive. What if the guy has traits of conquestor, womaniser, and the guy who wants to show you off, does that make the girl a ball buster, femme fatale and princess! How do you really get out of this!
Good point
Thank you, very interesting and helpful!
This is life changing knowledge
Thank you, Kimbella. I think so as well!
Great video Clayton - very insightful and helpful!! Thank you for sharing the Awesomeness you are
Great video, very helpful!!
Hi Clayton,that was interesting, these issues are good to know, we need to grow as a couple, and youve given the compassion there,and elightenment..i dont want the unhappy ways i might make him feel... soo interesting!
Thanks Pamie!
This was a fantastic video. Great job!
Wow never heard it explained that way before i identify with the mother and the business type, Clayton u are right as a mother u do a track weak men that don't take responsibility for nothing🤷
I was thinking great video but I dont know if its accurate and then it happened... he described me. So much so that I paused the video and started anticipating what he was going to say. But what really blew my mind was the reason why I act this way. GREAT video! !!!!
TRUEEEEET which one was it?
Thank you for this!!! so my life makes sense 🙏🥺
Wow! Thank you #Clayton Olson....You sure put a lot of work into this.... Very helpful
This is great Clayton
Great video, Clayton!
Very good video Clayton, even if a bit longer than usual. ;) I think every woman is a mixture of all these archetypes and it's up to her how well she balance it.
Beautifully said.
Thank you Clayton, your videos are inspiring! :)
most tempted to play the businesswoman. Thanks for these archetypes. well thought through👏👏👏
Hahaaaa, I'm the master ball buster! I actually ended up making the guy laughing with my quick and sharp sense of humor.
Very well done!
I am sooooo the chameleon. Also what you called the discarded in the webinar. I found this so useful and explains so much about myself
Excellent video! Can a woman have the positive aspects of all archetypes without the negative? I find that we women are multi-faceted... and the way we were raised and the experiences we’ve had growing up and in life in general does determine what we think about ourselves and how we portray ourselves to the world... perhaps the key to attracting a decent mate is to change the way we perceive ourselves and our own value.
Can a woman have the positive aspects of the archetypes without the negative? Of course! It all comes down to whether you are consciously in the role or unconsciously reacting.
I was ready for a very misoginistic video, but was instead pleasantly surprised by the femininity this video exudes. Bravo!
You're so fucking brilliant Clayton. Good lord
This is deep and every female I ever dated embodied at least 1 of these archetype. It's almost scary
Great advice,
I'm a mix of The business woman and princess, I work my ass off because I want to give myself a "trophy life" but deep down I want a high quality man to make me "chill" from work and split the bill, travel with me, build with me. And of course, I'm single af because of that, want I want is difficult.
Wow! Speechless
wow! super information! thank you!
Fantastic video however it would have been helpful to explain what archetype one would aspire to reflect in a healthy, and equal relationship.
Yes I do do that alot, but I always do that because I think the man wants to not be bored. I will chill out I do respect the man.
Wow your insight and knowledge is wonderful
If i identify with all types what then?
I mean i bust their balls if they play games. Im naturally sexy, ( so im told) , im nurturing, i can chameleon if i need to fit in somewhere, i do expect a man to show me who he is, i am a business woman. Im not a damsel in distress though. Opposite usually.
I thought these things made a well rounded woman that no matter what comes, that integrity and value is there within.
Now it sounds like it was wrong all along.
If i identify with all of these in some way and attract every type of man.. Except the one that stays..
So i shouldn't be myself i guess and show all my qualities because its not good now.
So confusing. Now what?
Valid points. I hope he responds to this. My bfs have encompassed Many of the traits of the types of men attracted to each of the archetypes.
Very good observation of one's self and listening.I too hope he responds to this as well !
I am the princes and damsel in distress😂😂😂😂thank God i never took them too far
wait... i’m healthy and balanced in my relationship? woah
so im the princess, the mother and the ball buster interesting
I'm a ball busting princess totally
Very very good! Thank you!!
Princess and chameleon a little bit of the damsel😭 lots of inner work to do
Clayton, loved your video! I can definitely see myself being the business woman. My experience not only with men has taught me not to trust anyone. Unfortunately, this does have a great impact on my relationships and i honestly don't know how to be that trusting person or let anyone take of me besides myself. I have been taking care of myself sence i was 11yrs of age I am now 54yrs for reasons i don't care to discuss. How do i let those walls down? Any advise??
Great content !!
I'm curious...is it possible to play these"roles" intermittently? I can identify with all of them...
Jodi Wesley indeed!
Me too ❤️
Looking back, my ex and I played all these roles throughout the 7 years we were a couple.
Aren't we built to multi-task? 😉😄