September 2024 Full Episode: Do You Owe Them An Apology
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- Опубликовано: 11 фев 2025
- We’ve been on RUclips for one year now. When we began last September, there were 72 million estranged families in the US alone, and now that number has jumped to 85 million. This is concerning for many reasons, and we aim to focus on helping everyone understand more about estrangement. We can only do this by listening to all generations.
In this full episode, we dive into the do's and don'ts of writing an apology letter, whether it’s to a family member, friend, or loved one. Apologizing can be difficult, especially when estrangement or emotional wounds are involved. We’ll walk you through the key points to consider, ensuring that your apology is meaningful and authentic, but is it necessary?
In This Video, You’ll Learn:
The key elements that make an apology effective and sincere
What not to include in your apology to avoid causing further harm
How to acknowledge your role without over-apologizing or feeling guilty
Should You Write a Genuine Apology:
Do apologies lead to healing and understanding
The importance of taking responsibility without expecting immediate forgiveness
When and how to give space after offering an apology
This conversation dives deeper into the components of the apology letter. As we continue to evolve, both individually and collectively, our understanding deepens and we grow as a community. Just a few months ago, Aleia considered distancing herself from her mom again, but she recently chose to reconnect, and their relationship has been going well. Similarly, after four years of estrangement, I am now back in touch with my daughter, and it has been a joyful, loving, and effortless experience.
Have you struggled with writing an apology letter? Share your experiences or questions in the comments.
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Dear Wounded Souls, We love the positive commentary and are glad you feel comfortable sharing your estrangement journey with us. The intention of this channel is to listen and seek to understand one another. If any disrespectful comments are left, they will be removed, and the author will be banned. It’s okay to disagree, but bullying and blatant rudeness towards anyone on this roundtable or bullying anyone who leaves comments does not serve a higher purpose and will not be tolerated. Thank you for understanding.
My adult child still thinks I owe her things like nurturing and acceptance of everything she does. She is 40. I don't owe her anything. I love her and WANT to give her those things but I don't owe it to her.
Great point. Thanks for sharing this Bernadine.
“I apologized even if I didn’t agree with any of it.”
Stopped with this statement because no need to go further.
If you went along with what was discussed in therapy even though you didn’t agree with it, then you lied.
You lied in therapy and that’s why therapy isn’t useful to you.
Her point was she would have done anything for her daughter, but if you would have continued to listen perhaps you might understand her point of view.
@@estrangednetwork She would do anything for her daughter but be honest? In therapy?
This happened to me.
The next session I spent crying, saying omg she’s still lying and the therapist said: “yes”. How do you have a relationship with someone who lies? And why would you want to?
Crux of the problem: love vs control
In your letter, apologize for wasting everyone’s time, someone’s money, and being resistant to the therapeutic process. Tell her that you understand how hurtful more lies can be, and how she might feel like you don’t care.
Go to therapy alone and do the very hard work of being honest.
Are you willing to do that?
@@dianagarrison3138 You're projecting a lot on to someone you don't know. I hope you find peace.
@@estrangednetwork I didn’t think so.
Cheryl, by your own words you failed to protect your child from an abusive alcoholic spouse, and when invited into her therapy you lied about your feelings to your daughter and her therapist, yet still express frustration with her? Do the hard therapy journey yourself and stay away from her unless or until you do.
Yes- I failed to leave the abusive marriage - it was never directed at my girls, but the environment was not healthy. When i was strong enough to do so- I did!! The therapist tried to coerce me into saying I was the physical abuser - I refused to do that. If you watched the whole episode - you can see that I absolutely apologized for yelling - which in itself is scary for anyone no matter the age. There were numerous heartfelt apologies for actual occurrences but the therapist always wanted more even if it never happened. Please do research into “validation therapy”.
You explained this perfectly throughout the video, but you are right, it does require one to watch the entire clip to understand the whole picture.