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There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; each one is special. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've realized that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost getting divorced because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to sort things out. It was a difficult time, but we got through it.
Parting ways with someone you deeply care about is never easy, but in my particular circumstance, I was aided by a spiritual mentor who averted the collapse of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'm dating exclusively with a widower of 1 year. We have spent almost every day together for 5 weeks since i had hip replacement surgery 2 weeks after we met. We are sharing very intimately and very open. I'm sober 36 years and his wife was not in recovery but should have been. We are both all in.
It's true. Just 8 years ago at 62 y.o. i always had potential options online and organically. A couple of them, I should have held onto now in retrospect I'm wondering if it's my age or the quality of the majority of men on dating app?
@@dianethompson6804- all too true ! My husband - who was 6 years younger - died much younger than i expected - so now what? Idk if i have the energy or desire to start over - but often it would be nice to have someone else- but for how long? Tomorrow is never promised!
At the first sign of differences, some would rather call it quits than talk it out. I’d love to know there are men out there who are willing to do the emotional work from a heartfelt place! As a team, really wanting to know about each other, and sometimes agreeing to disagree.
I just had a date yesterday and he talked about how couples are really a team. This message is very timely and provides some additional context. Thank you Jonathon! Sending you a BIG virtual hug!🤗
If a man says that then he knows what a relationship is. You really should feel like you are on each other's same team and you work together like teammates.
My parents had seven kids struggled financially emotionally etc but vowed to stay together until death. In turn their kids have stayed married many many years. When the kids see that parents put up with each other then usually the kids learn from them.
I know life is not fair Divorce is traumatizing for everyone not to mention the financial consequences of splitting up women still make less than men n end up in poverty.
Omg! I hope it doesnt take this many years!! I have patience but I'm running out of years! Whilst I get that we need to put the work in, it'd be nice to think that some if this would be there as part of the initial attraction 🤞🏼
Thank you for this incredibly helpful information and reading the books. I’m glad your videos are shorter in length. Hoping as you continue they become more concise.
Love this team-talk! 👍💯 Communication is everything, and this means verbal and non-verbal, the latter knowing each other, helping before the other even asks for it. Anticipating what is best for both. Some say your mother tongues should be the same, but I find second language puts both in a stage where one has to think before speaking and cues in attitude, eye-contact etc. are more important. I myself am not much of a talker, but when I speak it is to get a message across. Not sure what your opinion on language is? 🙏❤
NOTE: the addressing thing to me in this content is that I’ve had people in corporate work and things to say you can’t treat your home life like work. Meaning the approaches that you take as a manager Director aren’t always gonna work at home and I just looking at them like I didn’t really understand or actually actually. Actually, I just didn’t agree. I think a relationship should be like a business because businesses are based on investments and energy and outcome input the whole bit to make it profitable so yeah I’m all about group management because that’s what a family supposed to be in a family can be one and a dog or two human beings plus.
Because a man at home isn’t going to want to be directed by his woman or compete with her. She’s supposed to be a soft place to land. And doesn’t she want to be able to relax at home and not be responsible for making zillions of decisions there too? If a woman wants to be a boss with her Partner, then it’s best to choose a partner that’s more in their feminine. The challenge there is it makes a small pool even smaller
Im dating long distance a man that has been a widow for 10 years almost, he hasn’t had a committed relationship as far as I know, he label himself as a “lonely boy” a surfer retired 62 year old world traveler as I would describe him… I wrote him a nice card for his b-day recently on what he commented that it made him tear up and then he wrote down on his text “love you” right now Im ok with a long distance relationship but I miss the intimacy…Im too hygienic to be with one time stand or hook ups, I feel chemistry with this guy but I dont see him committing with me and I dont want to talk about it right now because all this is new….we are still knowing each other. Do you think Im a good candidate to talk to you? 17:20
My now e boyfriend of 20+ years is an only adult child. He didn’t want to get a job. So I kicked him out a d he lives 5 miles east of me. But he is mooching off of his mom. Because he can’t mooch off of me. Him do anything that involves a team… NEVER!
This is a 2nd FT job that most women don’t want. When women buy into that a relationship is like a job there is absolutely no joy in it. Seems to come across as robotic. Secondly, people have their basic personality types, then change throughout the last 1/3 of their lives, what happens then? I’m 59 and I can’t believe women want all this crap to deal with? Vetting is one thing but seriously men get more out of relationships then women do. This is not worth the effort.
Interesting. Yes I somewhat agree and also more women file for a divorce than men. Most men are happier married and women are happier single. It shows who is willing to invest more but has not much of a return. Caring for your man without becoming "his mom" is hard when a man gladly gives a woman that role. For him it becomes "having his needs met" and I hate it when it is a one-way street like that. I wish more men knew how to love and care for a woman, in a biblical way, treating her as his own flesh!! THAT would make the world a better place I think 🙏❤
It becomes a “job” when he has one or a combo of the following: unresolved/unhealed emotional issues from his past or present, bad communication skills, financial difficulties, selfishness, misogyny/mistrust of women, or emotionally draining/unhealthy family issues. I choose to immediately PASS on men with red flags. I don’t try to help them through it. We are all adults, it’s time women started treated men as fully capable adults, and expect them to show up whole, healthy, and capable. When they don’t - walk away. We each (men & women) have a right to expect what we give - to be given in return. I take care of my issues. I make sure I’m ready to date and marry in a healthy manner, so I expect the reciprocal. All the advice on how to “fix” a man, get him to open up, get him to feel secure, etc. I also pass on. I’m not there to be his mommy, or his free therapist. I don’t want to “change” a man, I either accept him as he is today, or I PASS. I do not argue, list his faults for him, make him feel bad, etc. - I just quietly and politely - GO
Thank you for your videos Jonathon 🙏 I have met gentlemen who have expressed that they’re looking for a serious relationship but do not want to move in or get married. I don’t understand fully what they mean. Are they “spenders”?
Words are nothing if they’re not followed up by actions to match those words. Some people (men and women) SAY they want something but then they don’t ACT like it. A persons actions mean more than their words. The “why” they do this - varies with each person. Different people say things that don’t align with their actions for different reasons. Instead of trying to figure out WHY someone I don’t share the same values with feels the way they do, I realize they’re entitled to their own value system. And so I PASS on that person. I don’t argue with them, list their faults, try to change them, or try to make them see I’d be “worth it”. All of that is fruitless and wasted time. Instead, I politely and calmly pass on that person, and use my time for those who DO share my same value system, and whose actions DO match their words.
How about seeing someone for 6 weeks. I broke it off we reconnected 6 months later. We r now on 3-4 months again. He is an avoident. Any hope do u think?
Why not date other men? If you’re not married, there’s nothing stopping you. If he has emotional issues, he needs to get help for those on his own. Find a man that you can accept “as is”. Instead of a man you’re hoping will change into the kind of man better suited to you.
I don't think they follow or know or have awareness of this sage advice and marry the wrong person, it's missing the soul connection tion, and settle and stay.
Divorce rate prolly higher than 56 percent. If u were raised in a religious household or certain cultures the church and the culture discourages divorces knowing it’s damaging to family units. It is up to the couple in the end some choose to forgive some don’t.
FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/
Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com
The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/
Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations
Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/
Join this channel to get access to perks:
ruclips.net/channel/UCDOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1gjoin
Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; each one is special. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've realized that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost getting divorced because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to sort things out. It was a difficult time, but we got through it.
Parting ways with someone you deeply care about is never easy, but in my particular circumstance, I was aided by a spiritual mentor who averted the collapse of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
You should.
Indeed
I'm dating exclusively with a widower of 1 year.
We have spent almost every day together for 5 weeks since i had hip replacement surgery 2 weeks after we met.
We are sharing very intimately and very open.
I'm sober 36 years and his wife was not in recovery but should have been. We are both all in.
The hardest part when you're older, is getting a date to begin with!
Agree, at 76 this is my experience too.
Sad and often true
It's true. Just 8 years ago at 62 y.o. i always had potential options online and organically. A couple of them, I should have held onto now in retrospect
I'm wondering if it's my age or the quality of the majority of men on dating app?
@@cynthiarapak932 maybe because so many men our age are either dead or married!! I'm 75.
@@dianethompson6804- all too true ! My husband - who was 6 years younger - died much younger than i expected - so now what? Idk if i have the energy or desire to start over - but often it would be nice to have someone else- but for how long? Tomorrow is never promised!
At the first sign of differences, some would rather call it quits than talk it out. I’d love to know there are men out there who are willing to do the emotional work from a heartfelt place! As a team, really wanting to know about each other, and sometimes agreeing to disagree.
His ego was too inflated and he thought this was a one night fu.k. He missed out!!
Good on you Julianne- you are worth much more.
Yes
I just had a date yesterday and he talked about how couples are really a team. This message is very timely and provides some additional context. Thank you Jonathon! Sending you a BIG virtual hug!🤗
You are so welcome
If a man says that then he knows what a relationship is. You really should feel like you are on each other's same team and you work together like teammates.
Jonathan, you are spot on this information. Keep it coming fantastic!
Thanks, will do!
@@JonathonAslay👍💯
My parents had seven kids struggled financially emotionally etc but vowed to stay together until death. In turn their kids have stayed married many many years. When the kids see that parents put up with each other then usually the kids learn from them.
I know life is not fair Divorce is traumatizing for everyone not to mention the financial consequences of splitting up women still make less than men n end up in poverty.
Omg! I hope it doesnt take this many years!! I have patience but I'm running out of years! Whilst I get that we need to put the work in, it'd be nice to think that some if this would be there as part of the initial attraction 🤞🏼
Thank you for this incredibly helpful information and reading the books.
I’m glad your videos are shorter in length. Hoping as you continue they become more concise.
You are so welcome!
Wow- one of the best insights I have ever heard! I am grateful to you sharing your knowledge and perspective and personal experience!
Wow, thank you!
Tuckman's Model
Forming
Storming
Norming
Performing
Adjourning or Mourning
Exactly
A magistral class! Perfectly explained!❤️🙏
Glad you liked it!
Absolutely Jonathan!
Back at ya
Love this team-talk! 👍💯 Communication is everything, and this means verbal and non-verbal, the latter knowing each other, helping before the other even asks for it. Anticipating what is best for both. Some say your mother tongues should be the same, but I find second language puts both in a stage where one has to think before speaking and cues in attitude, eye-contact etc. are more important. I myself am not much of a talker, but when I speak it is to get a message across. Not sure what your opinion on language is? 🙏❤
I have found for me... women from other countries don't get my sense of humor or pop culture references
Great show today! TY!!
Glad you enjoyed it
NOTE: the addressing thing to me in this content is that I’ve had people in corporate work and things to say you can’t treat your home life like work. Meaning the approaches that you take as a manager Director aren’t always gonna work at home and I just looking at them like I didn’t really understand or actually actually. Actually, I just didn’t agree. I think a relationship should be like a business because businesses are based on investments and energy and outcome input the whole bit to make it profitable so yeah I’m all about group management because that’s what a family supposed to be in a family can be one and a dog or two human beings plus.
Because a man at home isn’t going to want to be directed by his woman or compete with her. She’s supposed to be a soft place to land. And doesn’t she want to be able to relax at home and not be responsible for making zillions of decisions there too? If a woman wants to be a boss with her Partner, then it’s best to choose a partner that’s more in their feminine. The challenge there is it makes a small pool even smaller
This was so wise thank you Jonathan you are an awesome I definitely learn a lot about relationships from you
You are so welcome
Im dating long distance a man that has been a widow for 10 years almost, he hasn’t had a committed relationship as far as I know, he label himself as a “lonely boy” a surfer retired 62 year old world traveler as I would describe him… I wrote him a nice card for his b-day recently on what he commented that it made him tear up and then he wrote down on his text “love you” right now Im ok with a long distance relationship but I miss the intimacy…Im too hygienic to be with one time stand or hook ups, I feel chemistry with this guy but I dont see him committing with me and I dont want to talk about it right now because all this is new….we are still knowing each other.
Do you think Im a good candidate to talk to you? 17:20
Tuckmans model
Forming
Storming
Yes
Great show today Jonathon
Thank you 😊
I hope I meet someone who will go the distance and I want to go the distance with them. That would be a dream come true.
Good morning everyone😊
Hi 👋
My now e boyfriend of 20+ years is an only adult child. He didn’t want to get a job. So I kicked him out a d he lives 5 miles east of me. But he is mooching off of his mom. Because he can’t mooch off of me. Him do anything that involves a team… NEVER!
Yes .. very interesting 🎉
Glad you think so!
This is a 2nd FT job that most women don’t want. When women buy into that a relationship is like a job there is absolutely no joy in it. Seems to come across as robotic. Secondly, people have their basic personality types, then change throughout the last 1/3 of their lives, what happens then? I’m 59 and I can’t believe women want all this crap to deal with? Vetting is one thing but seriously men get more out of relationships then women do. This is not worth the effort.
That's one perspective
Interesting. Yes I somewhat agree and also more women file for a divorce than men. Most men are happier married and women are happier single. It shows who is willing to invest more but has not much of a return. Caring for your man without becoming "his mom" is hard when a man gladly gives a woman that role. For him it becomes "having his needs met" and I hate it when it is a one-way street like that. I wish more men knew how to love and care for a woman, in a biblical way, treating her as his own flesh!! THAT would make the world a better place I think 🙏❤
It becomes a “job” when he has one or a combo of the following: unresolved/unhealed emotional issues from his past or present, bad communication skills, financial difficulties, selfishness, misogyny/mistrust of women, or emotionally draining/unhealthy family issues.
I choose to immediately PASS on men with red flags.
I don’t try to help them through it.
We are all adults, it’s time women started treated men as fully capable adults, and expect them to show up whole, healthy, and capable. When they don’t - walk away.
We each (men & women) have a right to expect what we give - to be given in return. I take care of my issues. I make sure I’m ready to date and marry in a healthy manner, so I expect the reciprocal. All the advice on how to “fix” a man, get him to open up, get him to feel secure, etc. I also pass on. I’m not there to be his mommy, or his free therapist. I don’t want to “change” a man, I either accept him as he is today, or I PASS. I do not argue, list his faults for him, make him feel bad, etc. - I just quietly and politely - GO
@@deejames1st exactly.
Good morning 😄
👋
Veery interesting concept
Thanks
Thank you for your videos Jonathon 🙏 I have met gentlemen who have expressed that they’re looking for a serious relationship but do not want to move in or get married. I don’t understand fully what they mean. Are they “spenders”?
Do they want to be 80 and still dating?
Words are nothing if they’re not followed up by actions to match those words. Some people (men and women) SAY they want something but then they don’t ACT like it. A persons actions mean more than their words.
The “why” they do this - varies with each person. Different people say things that don’t align with their actions for different reasons. Instead of trying to figure out WHY someone I don’t share the same values with feels the way they do, I realize they’re entitled to their own value system. And so I PASS on that person. I don’t argue with them, list their faults, try to change them, or try to make them see I’d be “worth it”. All of that is fruitless and wasted time. Instead, I politely and calmly pass on that person, and use my time for those who DO share my same value system, and whose actions DO match their words.
Forming
Storming
Norming
Performing
Adjorninging
Yes
How about seeing someone for 6 weeks. I broke it off we reconnected 6 months later. We r now on 3-4 months again. He is an avoident. Any hope do u think?
Why not date other men? If you’re not married, there’s nothing stopping you. If he has emotional issues, he needs to get help for those on his own. Find a man that you can accept “as is”. Instead of a man you’re hoping will change into the kind of man better suited to you.
Hard to say
Forming
Exactly
Well marriage is until death do you part
Then why do we have a 56% divorce rate?
I don't think they follow or know or have awareness of this sage advice and marry the wrong person, it's missing the soul connection tion, and settle and stay.
Divorce rate prolly higher than 56 percent. If u were raised in a religious household or certain cultures the church and the culture discourages divorces knowing it’s damaging to family units. It is up to the couple in the end some choose to forgive some don’t.
❤
🙏
❤❤ 🎉🎉🎉
Back at ya
After 6 months norming
Yes
Bull
Why?