I agree, I need people who give me the same energy back. I agree with finding people with the same values, especially people that have healed, who are looking for emotionally stable relationships and healed their relationship with their femininity and masculinity. It seems rare to find people that don't follow the crowd these days, who can think for themselves and aren't offended easily.
I think that you're looking for someone who has their shit together and most people, unfortunately, don't. [myself included, but I still try to maintain healthy and stable relationships]
sticking to the comfort and familiarity of old friendships is so much easier than distancing yourself and finding new people to connect with, but i've noticed this is something i need to do. i've outgrown my friend group and become miserable. i'm lying to myself by pretending i'd rather only interact with these people and others i meet on a surface-level and keep mostly to myself, when i still desire deep connections outside of what i have with my partner with people i align with. i'm glad i found this video, it was what i needed to truly see how much i need to let those friends go.
this was EXACTLY what i needed to hear right now. Going into the new school year, I'm finding myself not quite annoyed, but not quite happy with my current friends, and I couldn't figure out why. They're good people, but something just felt off. After watching this, I was able to reflect and found that we had initially connected over interests alone, and now not only have we grown into new and different people with differing interests, but we don't share the same values. Your videos are always so refreshing to watch! thank you so much!
It's sooo hard to make friends now. Even when you think you found "a friend" they leave the next day or arent consistent enough with their friendship. Such sadness....😩
yes! ugh I hate it when it’s the first day of school you have a good convo with someone and see something things you guys have in common and then next class they act as if they ever talked to you
@@mikaelag5743i did this, but i really want to be his friend, i just CAN’T find the courage to talk to him again. So I don’t even though I really want to. Now it seems like I’m not interested at all
This topic is so important! Yes, the more you meet people the more you can look at socialising as a whole rather than being stuck on one individual and fearing what they think. A lot of things said here were just on point
@@polachekly that's true, I'm very grateful for them and I love them to death! But all of them are in very different phases of their lives than mine and it gets lonely sometimes, specially because of the breakup, the guy was my best friend for 4 years and boyfriend for 3.5, so there's a big hole now, my life kind of revolved around him, so I didn't make any new friends at all in these past years
Not gonna lie…Talking about the “old fashioned way” I wouldn’t like to tell me kids how I met my husband. Like… “hey mum how did you meet dad?”, “oh yes, he replied SMASH???! To my story and I fell in love” 😂😂😂
@@Nickelberkelium now being serious, I think that there’s no problem about meeting your partner online. I think that if theres a cool story behind it or if you end up meeting them in person in an interesting way it could be romantic as well
what i understood quite recently is that for me, i couldn't keep friends because low maintenance friendship were making me feel like i don't have friends, but high maintenance friendship were too tiring to keep up with (i don't have the energy to go out with someone every day) so i realised that i first need to figure out what type of friendship * i * am willing to offer and settle for, before expecting anything in return. turned out, i prefer having online friends or friends that i go out with maybe once a week or every 2-3 weeks but we text every day!!! because for me texting is not tiring at all and when i always have a convo running on chat, i really feel like i have friends lol. like if you can relate :))
I hope this doesn’t come off as judgemental, but I wouldn’t call your situation “online friends” if you see them in person around weekly that’s just a regular irl friend. No adult realistically has time to see people in person more frequently than that past colleagues or someone you live with. But obviously texting and talking online is more doable, and also the main way people sort out meet up times anyways these days An online friend to me is either a friend you exclusively talk to online or you started in this situation
the comment about not meshing with everyone is so true, and i've been noticing this more and more. i'm doing an exchange semester in another country and i've been forcing myself to initiate small talk with people, just to see where it leads. so far nine times out of ten we end up having a pleasant conversation and sometimes it even goes further and i get to know a new person. but sometimes the other person isn't interested so the conversation abruptly ends. either way i've learned to understand it's all about mine and the other person's energies matching, and if someone doesn't want to talk with me that's not my problem so i move on. as an introvert i've never been the most comfortable when meeting new people, if i listened to my worries i probably wouldn't talk to anyone tbh. but forcing myself out of my shell this way has been really helpful to see there isn't anything wrong with me and i don't suck at socializing, i'm actually great at communicating with people whose energy matches mine. so i really reccommend this for my fellow introverts. it's super hard at first but it gradually gets much easier! and learning things about different people is really cool lol
The last part. Yeah if you’re a good conversationalist, it’s so hard differentiating just getting along with someone, versus connecting to the extent of potentially being great friends.
why... i can't find people who reciprocate.. so like, i would always hit them up, and they will listen to me, they will do me favors, but they would never message me first or share things with me unless i go all my way to ask?
Love this! I would love if u did a video about outgrowing friends as well. I feel guilty for not keeping up with my friends whom I feel I don’t vibe with anymore 😭
My problem is that I have a hard time maintaining friendships. I get along with people pretty well, but I don’t know how to get closer to people than just being aquatints with them
tbh you just have to hang out with them more often. it'll happen with time, but you just slowly need to get away from small-talk and more toward the bigger things in life. I find that the more information I know about a person and the more information they know abt me, the more of a bond I tend to feel
This is me, I get along with people very well but to develop the bond isn't there. I also notice that when you are married with kids it's harder to make friends
@@etoilelizzie and if they don't hang out with you? ill ask so many people all the time if they want to hang out and they always cancel plans or ghost me
Honestly this made me realize a lot of things! The girl I am friends with since a month overshares alot, relay on me to notify teachers when she's not coming in but when it comes to me she doesn't even check up. Also, the free time in uni, I tagg along with her but all she does is talk to her girlfriend and then blames me for not opening up...Wow! This video just popped up I guess it was the universe's sign for me? Jeez
i try not to seem like i need my friends in my life because i’ve always been told i have attachment issues but i think me acting distant makes things worse so thanks simone for this video 😭
now i'm saying yes to everything, agree to go to any events this summer trying things with no judges , so thats makes me more energetic and have hight value and good speaker to almost evry one and even happier, it is like you have no time to be sad
I remember asking you to share your tips for making friends a few months ago and you just published this video! it's super nice thank you very much Simone !!!! ❤❤❤
Just sharing my reflections here. I’ve been through quite a stage of desperation in the past year and realized my people pleasing traits. I met a friend from an app a year ago, and as much as I didn’t know him very well yet (since we just met and all) I overshared a lot of my anxieties and issues with several people and some of my friends and other drama and stress I was surrounding myself in. As much as me and my best friend overshare quite a lot, oversharing with someone I just met in an app is not ideal, as the video mentioned. That guy I met bluntly called me out and told me I overshare too much about people. I turned into dramatics and never spoke to him to give space. I am learning that I still needed to heal and process the emotions I was feeling. At a point last year, I thought finding friends was difficult and I thought I had to demand friendship (ex asking someone hey can we be friends so you can be my therapist) but instead you earn friendship and you act on it as mentionned like a two way street. I just need to put myself out there and find the communities I belong in. I am determined to kill the negative voices in my head telling me that people hate me. Overall, this video was helpful!
To also add about values, I learned to grow them by spending some time alone and reflecting. That way, I would feel more comfortable to be kind to others as I am being kind to myself and know my values.
Im soo thankful for this video.... Every single point you pointed out is exactly the situation going on here.... Im honestly very sad that i have changed schools and literally NO ONE matches my vibes or wanna be friends with me... But now, after listening to you, i realised its just my negativity going around them.... Ill try to change... And moreover, the people im currently talking posses these negative qualities... And i dont in most of them(except negativity)... So i dont feel bad at all. Its them who are being a bad friend, hope they realise soon.... And im still waiting to meet my group of people
Why is it so hard to make good female friendships in your 20s? Every single friendship I’ve made so far the person has turned it into some weird competition. There’s jealousy and a lot of it is really patriarchal, because I feel like the jealousy comes from a stupid made up competition over looks, and how many guys are into you. I didn’t ask for this. I honestly couldn’t care less about male validation but it’s super annoying. I’m a hairdresser and I mostly work on women like 95% of my clients are women, mostly ages between 35 and 60 and these women and I have such a wonderful time chatting with together and they think I’m such a bright, ambitious, fun woman. I’m 28, And I just feel like I’m at this point in my life where it’s super annoying because making male friends just pisses me off frankly because they always try to like get with you or sleep with you or like make a move on you and it ruins the entire friendship because I’m not interested and I never was if I was, I would’ve made that clear. I was looking for friendship. And then whenever I meet women my age, they’re so standoffish and eventually they warm up, but I’ve gone through enough friends that I really poured my heart and soul into and then I just feel betrayed by them in the end so I kind of don’t see what the point is anymore. I know that’s kind of negative but it’s the truth that I’m feeling right now. Plus a lot of girls have this idea of low maintenance friendship which I just don’t think makes sense in all context just kind of sounds like whenever it’s convenient for them, They’ll come and hang out with you, but like then, they won’t talk to you or ghost you for like months and then randomly hit you up one day and it’s like really weird. Thanks for reading I guess if you made it this far but yeah I’m having a weird moment in my life where I don’t really have any friends tbh but I’m just going to rock with it and do whatever I wanted to do by myself
I have actually noticed a lot of people see me as a chill guy but a lot of people see me as someone with a huge ego 🤣. That I think is because of the first thing I said to them made them see me different than the first thing I said to someone else!
I noticed I got over this until I had to move somewhere way out of the way and all of the things that gave me comfort in all of the groups and meetings are used to go to or no longer thank you for this information because the people around me I feel like you’re doing this to me not appreciating me
slayest videooo...this video feels like a sign from the universe fr because my cousin sister has *literally* been telling me to socialize and network with people (i do have a small friend group though). def gonna try making more friends once school reopens, tysm queen ❣️❣️
I realized that I get so overstimulated when I spend time with people which is normal for an introvert but for me it has taken to extreme levels and I try to force myself out there but nothing has really helped or changed. I still can’t stand being around people for long even though I want to
I literally made besties from the comment section. I was a regular commenter on a show video and other regular commenter asked me to come a group in Instagram and met group of people who enjoy the show as much as me. We all became best besties for years!!!
Lol this video couldn’t have come at a better time! I’m in uni and I’m struggling with making and keeping friends and I can’t really pin point why but I think I’m going to take what you said in this video into consideration and not just blame myself constantly. I’m gonna try and have a better outlook.
I’m not a introvert nor a extrovert, im in the middle, I don’t project any insecurities onto other people my problem is people just drift away from me, on discord people have short conversations then do not reply for months and months and they’re online, irl I talk to people they just drift away for me. I’m not even in this loneliness “mindset” when im talking to them idk why this happens to me 😭
I can’t believe I would search up “how to make your friends like you” sometimes I feel like my friends now that really care about me if I tell them something like about me or anything else they would completely forget and in psychology ppl forget useless information, so it’s really upsetting and I have a problem with detachment and I always try to convince myself that they r the right type of friends just because I don’t to have to find new friends and all.
For me I just talked first. I made like one friend for each of my 5 classes. I would start out the conversation by asking them a class related question. Then I’d just make small casual conversations. Now time to get a girlfriend
Makes sense. I have one girlfriend and that is it; we hang out like only 6 times a year. Seems very little time to spemd with each other but I guess it works for us since we are both married and both have kids. I am still on the look out for friends that I could see more often and have more in common with though
I used to have a lot of friends when I was younger but now in my early 30s since I work a lot is very hard to find friends. I have zero friends and I also need a friend to match my energy and somehow no one else does and I’m easy-going. I love nature. I love animals. I love to work out. I’m just simple, and still can’t find anyone
Honestly its so hard making friends as i’m so disinterested in social media. The only app I use daily is youtube whilst studying,cleaning, drawing, doing other hobbies and etc. I have tried downloading social apps but its just not for me…
All of my current friends a really not my vibe. I have tried my best to stop thinking about the situation negatively but i cannot help. It have reached the point that i have started to feel irritated by them. I feel like such a bad person but i can't help it
Thank you for this video, this really helped me out because values mean everything to me & boundaries also. Because I am dealing with my own level of friend-making. Thanks❤❤❤❤
The hard part for me is that I can’t be friends with someone who has other friends bc I get jealous easily and can’t be around 2 ppl at once or I get really anxious. I’m like one of those dogs u adopt at a store that says “doesn’t do well with other pets”
I kinda lost all my friends they have plans and they don't ask me out I feel so bad I also did distance myself from them but I just don't know how to talk to anyone new I have some people in my mind that seems good wish me luck I'm going to approach them
hi simone !! :3 thank you for this video i rlly needed this bc i also have aspd and it rlly affects my life bc my friends wld think i dont care abt things and shit and they wld leave or cut me off and its also bc if i have a bod episode bc a best friend of many years cutted me off bc i was saying bad things to her in an episode
I always was a person who loved people, was friendly, and tried to feel them well, even those who weren't even close to my interest in being friends with me. But I never had a lot of friends, I had a couple, but they were really close and always mentioned how they loved me. In the end, all of them betrayed me without having any reason (not lying). Now I have 4, but they rarely show up (except one), It is me who checks them, asks them to go out, etc. Although, I see they contact other friends often, but not me. Also, if you ask them they'd say they love me. Of course, all this affected me, and lately, I stopped checking them too. In the end, I'm mostly alone and have to go alone somewhere or choose to stay at home - that is so sad. I'm really struggling to find out what I do or don't do to have them connected with me. I really don't understand. Besides, a little info about me: I'm kind, as people say - a good person, love having fun with friends, really supportive, and have lots of interests like art, fashion, dance, cinema, travel, love good conversations, sports and etc. Also, I'm physically nice. I'm hoping if any of you find a little chain of a problem, regarding my text, I have, can help me get better. Anyways, thanks, everyone.
Thank you so so much Simone for this video because I have no friends and it is very very helpful to me in my life you are my inspiration and I will support you till end 🤗💫💓
I’m not the reason tho. I try my hardest but they all replace me and when I get angry with there new best friend, even when they are at fault, I’m always to blame
As someone w 0 social skills, social anxiety I tried to talk to ppl and I did and it wasn't that easy and I got frnds but somehow they don't like me idk why:) childhood trauma now wasting my teenage on my mental health I hate being kind I don't wanna be kind anymore tbh:)
gonna watch this to tomorrow. I have one close friend and she is sweet and kind and she is doing her best but she has some issues and tends to dwell on negative things and such, and I've realized that my mental health has suffered a bit ever since we got really close. what do u do if your friends issues rub off on you? I have met enough toxic ppl, so I can clearly tell that she is not one of them, she is really trying, but it is tough for her and idk how to help except for keeping her company (she says even my presence is enough to make her happy even on a bad day) - I know influencers are quick to say "if they bad for u, just cut them off", but every person has something going on, if we always cut off everyone who has issues we will be forever alone. so I think a goodskill to have is to learn not to be subconsciously influenced by your friends too much. idk maybe she has tips in the video, but I gotta go sleep now. if there are no tips in the video, do u guys have any?
edit: no she is not manipulating me or anything by guilt trapping me (I think it sounded a bit like that). she is truly empathetic, always tries to understand me, always listens, and even when I do something where she has every right to be angry, she puts aside her own anger as soon as she sees how bad I feel for messing up and then she comforts me instead! even though it should be reversed. I mean, how could I ever turn my back on her just bc my stupid subconscious does stupid mood-imitation-shit, this girl is pure gold! making meaningful friends is not easy for me, bc I feel kinda alien with most girls my age (it has nothing to do with "not like other girls", it's that I literally don't feel any connection to girls mostly; I feel like they live on a different planet than me,idk how to explain. and making friends with guys is difficult too bc I feel like they will forever see me as "not one of them" (even if I was a cis guy, I would feel disconnected from guys in such a way too I guess) - idk what is wrong with me in those aspects really but that's how I feel when getting to know new ppl. so the few I've known for years and who I'm close with are too precious to me to just "cut off". I love them, and they are trying their best, and I just wanna know what I can do to stay true to myself and my positive energy while also helping them with their stuff which might not be so positive. idk but I need tips please 😅
I want friends but I’m too picky and introvert because they need to earn my friendship. The college I am at have low standards and people don’t have hobbies or not like going out. People I met when we plan something I get let down and they cancel
I had a very important exam that got over a week ago and while preparing for it, I extremely isolated myself from people and now that it's over, I don't know what to do I don't find anything fun anymore, no series, no movies excite me the way they used to. I joined a class but it's 3 times a week and only for an hour The rest of the day it's like I forcefully invest in technology cause I have nothing else to do and no one to hangout with :( I feel like I really need to socialize but how :( There are no workshops or events I could find around me :( I'm getting kinda sad now honestly, I had so many plans after this exam got over but it's like my friends are so used to me not being there, they don't mind anymore, and they are busy with their girlfriends and boyfriends now I've ended up kinda feeling depressed But I still force myself to do stuff even if I don't feel like it But now I'm just like what to I even do Nothing seems fun anymore :(
I realized how I started to change myself just cuz one of my friends were being a bit salty towards me and me only apart from the rest of my friend group and like i relate to this entire video like literally lmao
I broke up with someone a month ago and it’s been so hard to talk to new people cause of the pain. But I’m forcing myself to talk to new people every week and try new activities and things cause I need to do this for myself now even if it’s difficult
I agree, I need people who give me the same energy back. I agree with finding people with the same values, especially people that have healed, who are looking for emotionally stable relationships and healed their relationship with their femininity and masculinity. It seems rare to find people that don't follow the crowd these days, who can think for themselves and aren't offended easily.
Exactly, vide and energy matters...and when you match it your bond goes to different level
Hey lets ne friends if u dont mind
Exact thought. Glad that people like you exist. It makes me feel i am not the only one.
I think that you're looking for someone who has their shit together and most people, unfortunately, don't. [myself included, but I still try to maintain healthy and stable relationships]
I swear ever since the pandemic it's hard to socialise with people and make friends. Really needed this. Thank you simone
sticking to the comfort and familiarity of old friendships is so much easier than distancing yourself and finding new people to connect with, but i've noticed this is something i need to do. i've outgrown my friend group and become miserable. i'm lying to myself by pretending i'd rather only interact with these people and others i meet on a surface-level and keep mostly to myself, when i still desire deep connections outside of what i have with my partner with people i align with. i'm glad i found this video, it was what i needed to truly see how much i need to let those friends go.
this was EXACTLY what i needed to hear right now. Going into the new school year, I'm finding myself not quite annoyed, but not quite happy with my current friends, and I couldn't figure out why. They're good people, but something just felt off. After watching this, I was able to reflect and found that we had initially connected over interests alone, and now not only have we grown into new and different people with differing interests, but we don't share the same values.
Your videos are always so refreshing to watch! thank you so much!
Im in the same situation!!
literally me rn. hope u find the right people
It's sooo hard to make friends now. Even when you think you found "a friend" they leave the next day or arent consistent enough with their friendship. Such sadness....😩
Hello,I wanna make foreign friends,so if want we could try to chat on insta😊
i know this is such a late reply but this is soo true!!
yes! ugh I hate it when it’s the first day of school you have a good convo with someone and see something things you guys have in common and then next class they act as if they ever talked to you
That happens to me all the time 😭
@@mikaelag5743i did this, but i really want to be his friend, i just CAN’T find the courage to talk to him again. So I don’t even though I really want to. Now it seems like I’m not interested at all
This topic is so important! Yes, the more you meet people the more you can look at socialising as a whole rather than being stuck on one individual and fearing what they think. A lot of things said here were just on point
Yes. It's a 2 way street. It require reciprocation.
Hey lets be friends if u don't mind me
going through a breakup, having only a few friends, this is exactly what i needed. thankyou simone, you always save the day
Remember to be grateful for those few friends, quality over quantity
@@polachekly that's true, I'm very grateful for them and I love them to death!
But all of them are in very different phases of their lives than mine and it gets lonely sometimes, specially because of the breakup, the guy was my best friend for 4 years and boyfriend for 3.5, so there's a big hole now, my life kind of revolved around him, so I didn't make any new friends at all in these past years
same here, it'll be okay we will get through this and start a new chapter of our life ❤🩹
@@mikaylalindsay6028 that we surely will! ❤️❤️
You've got this!
Not gonna lie…Talking about the “old fashioned way” I wouldn’t like to tell me kids how I met my husband. Like… “hey mum how did you meet dad?”, “oh yes, he replied SMASH???! To my story and I fell in love” 😂😂😂
OMG SLAY
😂😂😂😂
help i met my bf in the lunch line a yr ago 🥲
Right my standards for romance are higher than that...i could never meet my future partner online
@@Nickelberkelium now being serious, I think that there’s no problem about meeting your partner online. I think that if theres a cool story behind it or if you end up meeting them in person in an interesting way it could be romantic as well
what i understood quite recently is that for me, i couldn't keep friends because low maintenance friendship were making me feel like i don't have friends, but high maintenance friendship were too tiring to keep up with (i don't have the energy to go out with someone every day)
so i realised that i first need to figure out what type of friendship * i * am willing to offer and settle for, before expecting anything in return.
turned out, i prefer having online friends or friends that i go out with maybe once a week or every 2-3 weeks but we text every day!!! because for me texting is not tiring at all and when i always have a convo running on chat, i really feel like i have friends lol. like if you can relate :))
that's so me!!!
this!
Me too!
Same here! I can’t text one person everyday but i do prefer texting them in between 2-3 days.
I hope this doesn’t come off as judgemental, but I wouldn’t call your situation “online friends” if you see them in person around weekly that’s just a regular irl friend. No adult realistically has time to see people in person more frequently than that past colleagues or someone you live with. But obviously texting and talking online is more doable, and also the main way people sort out meet up times anyways these days
An online friend to me is either a friend you exclusively talk to online or you started in this situation
finally someone talking on friendships 😭😭
the comment about not meshing with everyone is so true, and i've been noticing this more and more. i'm doing an exchange semester in another country and i've been forcing myself to initiate small talk with people, just to see where it leads. so far nine times out of ten we end up having a pleasant conversation and sometimes it even goes further and i get to know a new person. but sometimes the other person isn't interested so the conversation abruptly ends. either way i've learned to understand it's all about mine and the other person's energies matching, and if someone doesn't want to talk with me that's not my problem so i move on. as an introvert i've never been the most comfortable when meeting new people, if i listened to my worries i probably wouldn't talk to anyone tbh. but forcing myself out of my shell this way has been really helpful to see there isn't anything wrong with me and i don't suck at socializing, i'm actually great at communicating with people whose energy matches mine. so i really reccommend this for my fellow introverts. it's super hard at first but it gradually gets much easier! and learning things about different people is really cool lol
I give so much, and lately I’ve realised it’s better to mirror them
The last part. Yeah if you’re a good conversationalist, it’s so hard differentiating just getting along with someone, versus connecting to the extent of potentially being great friends.
why... i can't find people who reciprocate.. so like, i would always hit them up, and they will listen to me, they will do me favors, but they would never message me first or share things with me unless i go all my way to ask?
EXQCTLY THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL
I literally agree. Like when I meet ppl online, it's just easier to talk. But when you meet people in real life, you feel awkward.
Love this! I would love if u did a video about outgrowing friends as well. I feel guilty for not keeping up with my friends whom I feel I don’t vibe with anymore 😭
fr i want a video on that too!
Yes I want to see too
Literally 😭😭
Just chat them. Ask how are you and and do you still like A?
Fr
My problem is that I have a hard time maintaining friendships. I get along with people pretty well, but I don’t know how to get closer to people than just being aquatints with them
tbh you just have to hang out with them more often. it'll happen with time, but you just slowly need to get away from small-talk and more toward the bigger things in life. I find that the more information I know about a person and the more information they know abt me, the more of a bond I tend to feel
This is me, I get along with people very well but to develop the bond isn't there. I also notice that when you are married with kids it's harder to make friends
Hey lets be friends if u don't mind
@@etoilelizzie and if they don't hang out with you? ill ask so many people all the time if they want to hang out and they always cancel plans or ghost me
@@ronniebraps you need new friends
Honestly this made me realize a lot of things! The girl I am friends with since a month overshares alot, relay on me to notify teachers when she's not coming in but when it comes to me she doesn't even check up. Also, the free time in uni, I tagg along with her but all she does is talk to her girlfriend and then blames me for not opening up...Wow! This video just popped up I guess it was the universe's sign for me? Jeez
Girl where are the tips to make friends
i try not to seem like i need my friends in my life because i’ve always been told i have attachment issues but i think me acting distant makes things worse so thanks simone for this video 😭
That must be hard for you i hope you can get some great friends.
now i'm saying yes to everything, agree to go to any events this summer trying things with no judges , so thats makes me more energetic and have hight value and good speaker to almost evry one and even happier, it is like you have no time to be sad
Thats great!!
Hey hammad here nice to meet u lets be friends if u don't mind
I remember asking you to share your tips for making friends a few months ago and you just published this video! it's super nice thank you very much Simone !!!! ❤❤❤
girl youre so real for this video i love how you didnt sugarcoat this it was def a eye opener
hello，Can I be friends with you?
@@Sr_dianjiaocan we be friends?
Just sharing my reflections here. I’ve been through quite a stage of desperation in the past year and realized my people pleasing traits. I met a friend from an app a year ago, and as much as I didn’t know him very well yet (since we just met and all) I overshared a lot of my anxieties and issues with several people and some of my friends and other drama and stress I was surrounding myself in. As much as me and my best friend overshare quite a lot, oversharing with someone I just met in an app is not ideal, as the video mentioned. That guy I met bluntly called me out and told me I overshare too much about people. I turned into dramatics and never spoke to him to give space. I am learning that I still needed to heal and process the emotions I was feeling. At a point last year, I thought finding friends was difficult and I thought I had to demand friendship (ex asking someone hey can we be friends so you can be my therapist) but instead you earn friendship and you act on it as mentionned like a two way street. I just need to put myself out there and find the communities I belong in. I am determined to kill the negative voices in my head telling me that people hate me.
Overall, this video was helpful!
To also add about values, I learned to grow them by spending some time alone and reflecting. That way, I would feel more comfortable to be kind to others as I am being kind to myself and know my values.
Im soo thankful for this video.... Every single point you pointed out is exactly the situation going on here.... Im honestly very sad that i have changed schools and literally NO ONE matches my vibes or wanna be friends with me... But now, after listening to you, i realised its just my negativity going around them.... Ill try to change... And moreover, the people im currently talking posses these negative qualities... And i dont in most of them(except negativity)... So i dont feel bad at all. Its them who are being a bad friend, hope they realise soon.... And im still waiting to meet my group of people
1. dont hate others: Karma, takes your energie (lowers it),
2. cyberbullying is hating also (you get what you say)
What do you mean by takes your Energy, lowers it??
Cause i hate people who wronged me, and i want karma to hit them back
Why is it so hard to make good female friendships in your 20s? Every single friendship I’ve made so far the person has turned it into some weird competition. There’s jealousy and a lot of it is really patriarchal, because I feel like the jealousy comes from a stupid made up competition over looks, and how many guys are into you. I didn’t ask for this. I honestly couldn’t care less about male validation but it’s super annoying. I’m a hairdresser and I mostly work on women like 95% of my clients are women, mostly ages between 35 and 60 and these women and I have such a wonderful time chatting with together and they think I’m such a bright, ambitious, fun woman. I’m 28, And I just feel like I’m at this point in my life where it’s super annoying because making male friends just pisses me off frankly because they always try to like get with you or sleep with you or like make a move on you and it ruins the entire friendship because I’m not interested and I never was if I was, I would’ve made that clear. I was looking for friendship. And then whenever I meet women my age, they’re so standoffish and eventually they warm up, but I’ve gone through enough friends that I really poured my heart and soul into and then I just feel betrayed by them in the end so I kind of don’t see what the point is anymore. I know that’s kind of negative but it’s the truth that I’m feeling right now. Plus a lot of girls have this idea of low maintenance friendship which I just don’t think makes sense in all context just kind of sounds like whenever it’s convenient for them, They’ll come and hang out with you, but like then, they won’t talk to you or ghost you for like months and then randomly hit you up one day and it’s like really weird. Thanks for reading I guess if you made it this far but yeah I’m having a weird moment in my life where I don’t really have any friends tbh but I’m just going to rock with it and do whatever I wanted to do by myself
Hey hammad here nice to meet u lets be friends if u don't mind me
i love these advice type videos showcasing personality, they literally inspired me so much to start my own channel
thanks for this video simone
Class 2024🎉
I have actually noticed a lot of people see me as a chill guy but a lot of people see me as someone with a huge ego 🤣. That I think is because of the first thing I said to them made them see me different than the first thing I said to someone else!
Also? You got any tips on how to not over react around some people and under react around others!
I noticed I got over this until I had to move somewhere way out of the way and all of the things that gave me comfort in all of the groups and meetings are used to go to or no longer thank you for this information because the people around me I feel like you’re doing this to me not appreciating me
Hey hammad here nice to meet u lets be friends if u don't mind me
WHAT...A FEW MINUTES AGO I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS. AND THEN I SEE THIS YESSSSSSSSSSSS
slayest videooo...this video feels like a sign from the universe fr because my cousin sister has *literally* been telling me to socialize and network with people (i do have a small friend group though). def gonna try making more friends once school reopens, tysm queen ❣️❣️
I realized that I get so overstimulated when I spend time with people which is normal for an introvert but for me it has taken to extreme levels and I try to force myself out there but nothing has really helped or changed. I still can’t stand being around people for long even though I want to
omg what is this private community ❤ can't wait to meet more like minded people and grow together
It's a hard truth for some people to swallow, but necessary to hear
The blue top looks heavenly on her !!
the hoop earrings too!
The only thing that I miss since I left Instagram is Veronica's stories 😪
I literally made besties from the comment section. I was a regular commenter on a show video and other regular commenter asked me to come a group in Instagram and met group of people who enjoy the show as much as me. We all became best besties for years!!!
Lol this video couldn’t have come at a better time! I’m in uni and I’m struggling with making and keeping friends and I can’t really pin point why but I think I’m going to take what you said in this video into consideration and not just blame myself constantly. I’m gonna try and have a better outlook.
AS u get older it's gonna be hard to go on with everyone and following up people,cause of lack of time
Thank you so much for this. You really helped me open my eyes to that not everyone is meant for you and that's okay!
I’m not a introvert nor a extrovert, im in the middle, I don’t project any insecurities onto other people my problem is people just drift away from me, on discord people have short conversations then do not reply for months and months and they’re online, irl I talk to people they just drift away for me. I’m not even in this loneliness “mindset” when im talking to them idk why this happens to me 😭
Literally same :') Did you maybe wanna chat on discord a bit, I also play games!
@ yaay sure!!
What’s ur disc
@@marcusrashford568 It's werewolfine ^^
@ added yoh
I tend to act weird out of anxiety
yeah same but idk how to explain it,
same
I can’t believe I would search up “how to make your friends like you” sometimes I feel like my friends now that really care about me if I tell them something like about me or anything else they would completely forget and in psychology ppl forget useless information, so it’s really upsetting and I have a problem with detachment and I always try to convince myself that they r the right type of friends just because I don’t to have to find new friends and all.
For me I just talked first. I made like one friend for each of my 5 classes. I would start out the conversation by asking them a class related question. Then I’d just make small casual conversations. Now time to get a girlfriend
love you queen ❤❤❤❤ I can really relate to simone when it comes to friendship. many people want to be friends just for their own hidden interest.
i was not expecting the beginning of the video to come for me down to the last detail but it nice to know im not the only one dealing with this
Makes sense. I have one girlfriend and that is it; we hang out like only 6 times a year. Seems very little time to spemd with each other but I guess it works for us since we are both married and both have kids. I am still on the look out for friends that I could see more often and have more in common with though
wait what? you have a girlfriend but you're married?
oh wait do you mean a friend that's a girl? sorry im slow 😭
I used to have a lot of friends when I was younger but now in my early 30s since I work a lot is very hard to find friends. I have zero friends and I also need a friend to match my energy and somehow no one else does and I’m easy-going. I love nature. I love animals. I love to work out. I’m just simple, and still can’t find anyone
ur video saved me from losing my last real friend, ty🙁💓
Honestly its so hard making friends as i’m so disinterested in social media. The only app I use daily is youtube whilst studying,cleaning, drawing, doing other hobbies and etc. I have tried downloading social apps but its just not for me…
Same
Same, I don't know what to do
@@lucylulucifer become my friend bro,
Can you also become my friend, hope u see this comment 😅
All of my current friends a really not my vibe. I have tried my best to stop thinking about the situation negatively but i cannot help. It have reached the point that i have started to feel irritated by them. I feel like such a bad person but i can't help it
Thank you for this video, this really helped me out because values mean everything to me & boundaries also. Because I am dealing with my own level of friend-making. Thanks❤❤❤❤
The hard part for me is that I can’t be friends with someone who has other friends bc I get jealous easily and can’t be around 2 ppl at once or I get really anxious. I’m like one of those dogs u adopt at a store that says “doesn’t do well with other pets”
Heal your trauma
Omggg Simone, i was literally going to comment on your video to make this and i just opened RUclips and found it! THANK YOU
Thanks for the video
YOU'RE MY BESTIE PERIODT
I kinda lost all my friends they have plans and they don't ask me out I feel so bad I also did distance myself from them but I just don't know how to talk to anyone new I have some people in my mind that seems good wish me luck I'm going to approach them
GIrlll thank you for another amazing video!!! Off topic but the blue top looks STUNNING on youuu, it makes you glow🩵
Hopefully I stop over sharing initially !
Notes: Be the type of friend you want
Watching this as I lost my Bestie. My grades are shit.
hi simone !! :3 thank you for this video i rlly needed this bc i also have aspd and it rlly affects my life bc my friends wld think i dont care abt things and shit and they wld leave or cut me off and its also bc if i have a bod episode bc a best friend of many years cutted me off bc i was saying bad things to her in an episode
I always was a person who loved people, was friendly, and tried to feel them well, even those who weren't even close to my interest in being friends with me. But I never had a lot of friends, I had a couple, but they were really close and always mentioned how they loved me. In the end, all of them betrayed me without having any reason (not lying). Now I have 4, but they rarely show up (except one), It is me who checks them, asks them to go out, etc. Although, I see they contact other friends often, but not me. Also, if you ask them they'd say they love me. Of course, all this affected me, and lately, I stopped checking them too. In the end, I'm mostly alone and have to go alone somewhere or choose to stay at home - that is so sad. I'm really struggling to find out what I do or don't do to have them connected with me. I really don't understand. Besides, a little info about me: I'm kind, as people say - a good person, love having fun with friends, really supportive, and have lots of interests like art, fashion, dance, cinema, travel, love good conversations, sports and etc. Also, I'm physically nice. I'm hoping if any of you find a little chain of a problem, regarding my text, I have, can help me get better. Anyways, thanks, everyone.
Thank you so so much Simone for this video because I have no friends and it is very very helpful to me in my life you are my inspiration and I will support you till end 🤗💫💓
Love this girl!!! Honest & straightforward.
I’m not the reason tho. I try my hardest but they all replace me and when I get angry with there new best friend, even when they are at fault, I’m always to blame
This is vert random but blue looks super good on you
needed this! i only have ONE friend atm and im ready for more!
Yup, I have one friend too right now. I have always been the girl who had trouble getting along with other girls
@@jenntruong6023 same here 😩
i can approach people its just that idk what to talk abt, ive introduced ms to sooo many ppl and we only go as far as our names cuz idk what to say-
"they don't need to know your lore yet" loooool i laughed at that
What's "lore"?
this girl always comes in clutch
Thank you sis ♥
As someone w 0 social skills, social anxiety I tried to talk to ppl and I did and it wasn't that easy and I got frnds but somehow they don't like me idk why:) childhood trauma now wasting my teenage on my mental health I hate being kind I don't wanna be kind anymore tbh:)
gonna watch this to tomorrow.
I have one close friend and she is sweet and kind and she is doing her best but she has some issues and tends to dwell on negative things and such, and I've realized that my mental health has suffered a bit ever since we got really close. what do u do if your friends issues rub off on you? I have met enough toxic ppl, so I can clearly tell that she is not one of them, she is really trying, but it is tough for her and idk how to help except for keeping her company (she says even my presence is enough to make her happy even on a bad day) - I know influencers are quick to say "if they bad for u, just cut them off", but every person has something going on, if we always cut off everyone who has issues we will be forever alone. so I think a goodskill to have is to learn not to be subconsciously influenced by your friends too much.
idk maybe she has tips in the video, but I gotta go sleep now. if there are no tips in the video, do u guys have any?
edit: no she is not manipulating me or anything by guilt trapping me (I think it sounded a bit like that). she is truly empathetic, always tries to understand me, always listens, and even when I do something where she has every right to be angry, she puts aside her own anger as soon as she sees how bad I feel for messing up and then she comforts me instead! even though it should be reversed. I mean, how could I ever turn my back on her just bc my stupid subconscious does stupid mood-imitation-shit, this girl is pure gold!
making meaningful friends is not easy for me, bc I feel kinda alien with most girls my age (it has nothing to do with "not like other girls", it's that I literally don't feel any connection to girls mostly; I feel like they live on a different planet than me,idk how to explain. and making friends with guys is difficult too bc I feel like they will forever see me as "not one of them" (even if I was a cis guy, I would feel disconnected from guys in such a way too I guess) - idk what is wrong with me in those aspects really but that's how I feel when getting to know new ppl. so the few I've known for years and who I'm close with are too precious to me to just "cut off". I love them, and they are trying their best, and I just wanna know what I can do to stay true to myself and my positive energy while also helping them with their stuff which might not be so positive. idk but I need tips please 😅
I’m terrible at keeping friends and I feel like I’m the problem. 😢
Thank you for the advice, AND for the subtitles :) Really quite helpful
She's the best💗😩
Perfect before going back to school.
I want friends but I’m too picky and introvert because they need to earn my friendship. The college I am at have low standards and people don’t have hobbies or not like going out. People I met when we plan something I get let down and they cancel
Let be friends...?
Just the vid I needed, thank you Mother ❤
Your networth is your network
I had a very important exam that got over a week ago and while preparing for it,
I extremely isolated myself from people and now that it's over, I don't know what to do I don't find anything fun anymore, no series, no movies excite me the way they used to.
I joined a class but it's 3 times a week and only for an hour
The rest of the day it's like I forcefully invest in technology cause I have nothing else to do and no one to hangout with :(
I feel like I really need to socialize but how :(
There are no workshops or events I could find around me :(
I'm getting kinda sad now honestly, I had so many plans after this exam got over but it's like my friends are so used to me not being there, they don't mind anymore, and they are busy with their girlfriends and boyfriends now I've ended up kinda feeling depressed
But I still force myself to do stuff even if I don't feel like it
But now I'm just like what to I even do
Nothing seems fun anymore :(
awww i honesty feel the same… we can be friends and try getting along.
@@zzzziio aww hiii
That's so sweet of you 💗
@@joonie645 yess🥹🫶🏼
أنا أحبها كثيرًا، إنها مبدعة جدًا!
Yep. History repeats itself. To make friends, you only have two options. You dominate or you suck up. Pop culture? Hobbies? Food? Dominate or suck up.
the way this video came to me right when i needed it
I genuinely love you so much
I LOVE YOU QUEEN
this video is life saving
I realized how I started to change myself just cuz one of my friends were being a bit salty towards me and me only apart from the rest of my friend group and like i relate to this entire video like literally lmao
my favorite dailymotion channel
Literally needed this
2:32 That quote about doing things "the old fashioned way" is the REALEST part of the whole video!
simone making our lives better
yes im the problem
Life is very different now 3 years of isolation especially of social media
I need a video about how to dump your friend
did u dump them
@@777angeno, i just reduce the time of seeing them and don't hang out often
And i dont need fake friends who are so negative
Stunning job!❤
I broke up with someone a month ago and it’s been so hard to talk to new people cause of the pain. But I’m forcing myself to talk to new people every week and try new activities and things cause I need to do this for myself now even if it’s difficult
Same; Can we be friends?
@@nrgsarmy1986 yes I’d love to :) do you have Instagram.