I was today-years-old when I found out Edward was supposed to be lanky. And that Rosalie and Jasper were supposed to be twins. Also I feel like you definitely shouldn't call anyone albino that isn't ... ya know ... albino.
I was just thinking about this, and there it was in my notifications. 😁😂 I actually tried this in my head with my copy of Twilight. The thing that struck me when I reread this part was how unkind Bella was, internally. She hasn't had one good thing to say about anyone. All we know about Charlie, for instance, is that she's sorry for his failure to move on and... what, remarry? Maybe she's supposed to be angsty and depressed under the circumstances, but I've been unhappy about being somewhere, when I was younger than she is. I wasn't thinking of people being friendly as "brave enough to talk to me," or as "prattling" at me. I even tried to remember their names. I wonder how her relationship with Edward would have been if he could have read her mind.
If they could pass for adults why do they hang out in high school? Creepy! Who had that much fun in high school that they want to spend an eternity there?
D-Y-I-N-G. When I taught 9th and 10th English, these books were super popular. I read them all so that I could get an idea of what they were in to and so that I could talk about them... It took me forever because I, too, had to stop every few pages becasue I just couldn't do it anymore. It was a true labor of love for those kids.
I hear your voice in my head as I edit my on MS. "You don't need that extra word." "I know they are looking, you don't have to say it." "You just said that." Etc.
I agree entirely about Bella. She ought to know humility! Trigonometry ought to have done it. Being unable to program taught me humility, but then being best in an adult learners German class (better than those with German spouses) inflated my ego again and I became insufferable.
For some reason, I feel like I will like this better if Rose becomes the love interest. Edward could be in the triangle somewhere if you must...and Jacob, I vaguely remember shipping him with Alice when I was a youngin'. 😂
I downloaded the Twilight book document to edit it for fun. I'm not nearly as skilled as you in writing or editing so this is my practice. It's so fun and watching you edit has helped me a lot so thanks xx.
Honestly how did the info about the Cullens' et al that Jessica talks about get spread in the first place? The way they've established themselves it wasn't the 'kids'. That's the true mystery for me 😂
Is it a mystery? Isn't the Cullen's dad a Dr? Being a Dr and moving to a tiny new town, to build up some level of trust with your new patients it would be a pretty standard thing to give a little info about yourself to someone. Especially if you are an immortal, unchanging supernatural being who wants to participate in society all while not wanting to draw too much attention to yourself. Imagine being a Dr who just turns up out of nowhere, with four teenage kids who all obviously aren't related but all seem to be dating each other, and then never attempt even a second of explanation to anyone. You'd have CPS called on you pretty quickly. Likely the Dr Dad (can't remember his name) gave a brief explanation to his boss or a coworker or something and then small-town gossip and Chinese whispers expanded the rest.
So, this (mainly the title) has inspired me to write a lesbian vampire 'love' story. Most of it will be classic vampire seduction. Some traditional vampire horror elements will be added. It won't be a Twilight but gay story. Maybe the question will be is the woman actually falling for the vampire mistress or is she just slowly falling victim to Dracula level mind control. Vampires are monsters so it won't be a 100% healthy relationship. The female character starts the story with a bf who (after the MC meets the VQ) has a fight w/ her then mysteriously goes missing which would become a trend. There would be a lot of blood.
I love how exasperated you are while reading/editing. I feel this too writing Bella/Rosalie fanfiction abs having to go back through the book to fact check things. 🤣🤣 loving your reactions
Gods I had forgotten how boring the prose is, so redundant. And the "plot" advances slower than a snail, like we know she is at school and has classes Stephanie, but can something happen pls?????
It's so satisfying to see you edit this mediocre book. No offense to Stephanie but... Did she have to reach a word limit thing? Cuz she has so many unnecessary things in it. Anyway, I appreciate your bravery and patience for this book.
Title-wise, Rosalie and Bella would never happen as the author is Mormon and the Mormon faith has issues with same sex couples and lgbt couples. Sad, but true.
This makes me a little madder every time a new video comes out. So many good stories by great authors got passed over for such a mean and depressing book. :/
I really hate to be that person but the whole point of writing in first POV for this series (besides laziness) is that Bella is *that* perceptive. That’s the whole reason she figures out the Cullen’s secret and is later the first thread to the idea that Bella was always meant to be a vampire. Anyway, this is hilarious thank you for doing this cause as much as I read into every detail in this series I still can’t handle the terrible writing sometimes. Also your jokes are amazing.
Who play the role of Edward Cullen in the new movie of TWILIGHT "The Midnight Sun" ? And when this movie release? Please reply me I am the Biggest fan of Robert Pattinson 💜
I never really understood why people hated the "not like other girls" trope (y'wanna be unique and special, whatever) until listening to this series. Seriously, why the fuck is everyone just staring at her?
Honestly, you are wonderfully insane to believe that Mormon woman give her characters some depth and complexity, this is still more interesting than how the books and the films ended up, well done! 😂
Want to read the edited chapters? view.flodesk.com/pages/60a6b2262c1a4117de4b7602
Is flodesk free
"It's gay now" Honestly, that's the only thing that could make this series even remotely redeemable
if y'all think i'm joking about making Jacob a lesbian,
@@HannahLeeKidderyou reply all comments but why not on my 😭whyy
I can't get over the "Stephanie just say you hate girls" it's so funny
I was today-years-old when I found out Edward was supposed to be lanky. And that Rosalie and Jasper were supposed to be twins.
Also I feel like you definitely shouldn't call anyone albino that isn't ... ya know ... albino.
I would like this edit to please remove all lines where people are not looking at each other.
It should just be a giant staring contest.
god, your MIND
Did Edward ever think that maybe he couldn't read Bella's mind cuz there wasn't much going on in there lmaooo
LMAOAOAOAO
I love how she asks you if you're mad then immediately tells you to go buy her book
What I took away from this is Bella's classism in action. Everything Edward does is perfect and all the other kids don't know what kindness is 🤣🤣🤣🤣
lmao it's like an entire school of people being welcoming and friendly and bella's like "ew" then some randos are mopey in a corner and she's blushing
@@HannahLeeKidder"oh yeah! Lack of eye contact, that's what gets me going!"
I was just thinking about this, and there it was in my notifications. 😁😂 I actually tried this in my head with my copy of Twilight. The thing that struck me when I reread this part was how unkind Bella was, internally. She hasn't had one good thing to say about anyone. All we know about Charlie, for instance, is that she's sorry for his failure to move on and... what, remarry? Maybe she's supposed to be angsty and depressed under the circumstances, but I've been unhappy about being somewhere, when I was younger than she is. I wasn't thinking of people being friendly as "brave enough to talk to me," or as "prattling" at me. I even tried to remember their names. I wonder how her relationship with Edward would have been if he could have read her mind.
hahaha I don't think he would have interacted with her at all. that would have been a very short book
@@HannahLeeKidder Stephanie uses so many words, it could still be long
The exasperation in the "I can't do this anymore!" Exactly every reader's mood.
Bella thinks Jessica is jealous of Carlisle and Esme bc of their children?? what on this good earth does that even mean 😭😭😭
I don't know!!! ? ?? maybe just of their money in general? but also she's mad bc Edward rejected her allegedly? ?
If they could pass for adults why do they hang out in high school? Creepy! Who had that much fun in high school that they want to spend an eternity there?
"Its gay now. Whatre you gonna do."
In today's video, we find out at what point unsollicited editing becomes fanfiction.
I think it's the line it got gay
@@HannahLeeKidder Now that I think about it, can we call it fanfiction if you're not a fan?
I need a before and after word count 😂 I wanna know how much time 13 y/o me would've saved reading this version instead 😂
lol
D-Y-I-N-G. When I taught 9th and 10th English, these books were super popular. I read them all so that I could get an idea of what they were in to and so that I could talk about them... It took me forever because I, too, had to stop every few pages becasue I just couldn't do it anymore. It was a true labor of love for those kids.
That's a Twilight fanfic I would read. Bella and Rosalie.
I hear your voice in my head as I edit my on MS. "You don't need that extra word." "I know they are looking, you don't have to say it." "You just said that." Etc.
I read the first page of a Twilight book when I worked in a bookstore in college. I had a feeling it was bad then too.
“...gawk... It’s gay now, what’re you gonna do?”
Oh my God, I love this "version" of Twilight.
the process of continuously making twilight gay makes me very happy. also, the laugh at 2:50 sent me
idk how she's going to write THREE versions of the same story and in NONE of them does a queer character appear.
I love when you drop random movie quotes. "You broke his nose?!" sent me.
Thank you for seeing me
@@HannahLeeKidder 👀👀👀
This is hilarious 😂 And a good lesson in cutting redundancies in your writing. Thanks Hannah
All of the staring you’re annoyed by happens in the movies too. The honest trailer for the first movie made fun of that!
5 minutes into this video and I just want to scream - We get it! She’s awkward! It’s a constant inner monologue about how awkward she is!
I agree entirely about Bella. She ought to know humility! Trigonometry ought to have done it. Being unable to program taught me humility, but then being best in an adult learners German class (better than those with German spouses) inflated my ego again and I became insufferable.
I'll never understand how this series became a best seller. It's so boring.
Watching you edit is a great way to improve my writing in English. I'm learning so much!! Thank you 🙏
Day 2,143 of waiting for Stephanie Meyer to just say she hates girls
not all girls ugh just the feminine annoying girls and most of the other ones
xD I'm dying!
I'm starting to think maybe Stephanie couldn't make the book(s) meet the required word count for her publisher and just word-dumped.
Pretty much.
For some reason, I feel like I will like this better if Rose becomes the love interest. Edward could be in the triangle somewhere if you must...and Jacob, I vaguely remember shipping him with Alice when I was a youngin'. 😂
I love these videos so much lmaooo I remember reading the twilight series as a middle schooler.
i will be filing a copyright lawsuit for my angry face that's all
did I nail it though I think I nailed it
I downloaded the Twilight book document to edit it for fun. I'm not nearly as skilled as you in writing or editing so this is my practice. It's so fun and watching you edit has helped me a lot so thanks xx.
The cullens are just out there wasting food huh
I remember we reading the book trying to figure out why it was so popular and finding Ymir worked better than sleeping pills for insomnia.
Honestly how did the info about the Cullens' et al that Jessica talks about get spread in the first place? The way they've established themselves it wasn't the 'kids'. That's the true mystery for me 😂
Is it a mystery? Isn't the Cullen's dad a Dr? Being a Dr and moving to a tiny new town, to build up some level of trust with your new patients it would be a pretty standard thing to give a little info about yourself to someone. Especially if you are an immortal, unchanging supernatural being who wants to participate in society all while not wanting to draw too much attention to yourself. Imagine being a Dr who just turns up out of nowhere, with four teenage kids who all obviously aren't related but all seem to be dating each other, and then never attempt even a second of explanation to anyone. You'd have CPS called on you pretty quickly. Likely the Dr Dad (can't remember his name) gave a brief explanation to his boss or a coworker or something and then small-town gossip and Chinese whispers expanded the rest.
This just reminds me that I found Twilight so boring that I put it down after 10 pages and had the BEST SLEEP OF MY LIFE!
So, this (mainly the title) has inspired me to write a lesbian vampire 'love' story. Most of it will be classic vampire seduction. Some traditional vampire horror elements will be added. It won't be a Twilight but gay story. Maybe the question will be is the woman actually falling for the vampire mistress or is she just slowly falling victim to Dracula level mind control. Vampires are monsters so it won't be a 100% healthy relationship. The female character starts the story with a bf who (after the MC meets the VQ) has a fight w/ her then mysteriously goes missing which would become a trend. There would be a lot of blood.
You can see her dying inside at 13:48 XD
Still loving this series~
I've never been so early to a video in my life
morning crowd. there's coffee in the pot n donuts on the counter.
Wait wait WHAT I want to see this college thesis of yours. On Twilight!
I never read Twilight (not even in French) but it seems hard to read! So many words! xD
I just wrote a book. I would love if you edit it. I'm actually competing with Twilight.
I love how exasperated you are while reading/editing. I feel this too writing Bella/Rosalie fanfiction abs having to go back through the book to fact check things. 🤣🤣 loving your reactions
I absolutely love the rage quitting aspect of these.xD
Gods I had forgotten how boring the prose is, so redundant.
And the "plot" advances slower than a snail, like we know she is at school and has classes Stephanie, but can something happen pls?????
I would edit Twilight by turning it into Sunshine by Robin McKinley and Tinker by Wen Spencer (but without the fetishizing racial stuff).
I love these, they teach me things and I get the urge to work on my manuscript. Perfect.
There's a new Twilight book coming out on august the 4th from Edward's POV - "Midnight Sun"
You can't cut all the "looking". It's Twilight. Half the story is silent stares.
it's the "ohmygawd" after "sitting next to that single open seat." for me
It's so satisfying to see you edit this mediocre book. No offense to Stephanie but... Did she have to reach a word limit thing? Cuz she has so many unnecessary things in it. Anyway, I appreciate your bravery and patience for this book.
I wouldn't be surprised. A lot of publishers will not publish unless you meet their guidelines. Word and/or page number is sometimes a part of that.
Yes, Meyer must be an underwriter. And one who absolutely sucks at description. Bella would go: "Hey you, with the broken nose...!"
Watching your brain melt was by far the most entertaining part of the video.
Welp, that was a pretty fast "IM SO BORED"
Really wish they would’ve made Bella end up with Rosalie, or even one of the Denali’s
"You're not heading out into the rain, you're heading into the rain, asshole!" --George Carlin
“That’s my boy emmit.”
“That’s our confederate.”
🤭
Title-wise, Rosalie and Bella would never happen as the author is Mormon and the Mormon faith has issues with same sex couples and lgbt couples. Sad, but true.
This makes me a little madder every time a new video comes out. So many good stories by great authors got passed over for such a mean and depressing book. :/
is okay we gonna fix it :)
I really hate to be that person but the whole point of writing in first POV for this series (besides laziness) is that Bella is *that* perceptive. That’s the whole reason she figures out the Cullen’s secret and is later the first thread to the idea that Bella was always meant to be a vampire.
Anyway, this is hilarious thank you for doing this cause as much as I read into every detail in this series I still can’t handle the terrible writing sometimes. Also your jokes are amazing.
Oh daddy, I wish my brain could do this. I always use too many words.
I live for these lol
I smiled small ? Sounds weird to me
I’m just here for the rage fans
i get it
Who play the role of Edward Cullen in the new movie of TWILIGHT "The Midnight Sun" ? And when this movie release? Please reply me I am the Biggest fan of Robert Pattinson 💜
Please mam reply me
Don't be surprised if Stephanie contacts you one of these days to edit her book for real.
I would love to
This video doesn't talk about bella liking rose.
we've got a whole book to go please be patient
@@HannahLeeKidder ok thanks.
"That's our Confederate!" fucking sent me, jesus
I just love watching these videos! 😂
"that's our Confederate"
I'm still not over that fucking plot point. Like wtf Stephanie?
Do fourteen year olds read Twilight?
Hey Hannah, how do I get you to proofread a small part of my book? I've seen videos where you've done that before.
hey, Shane! the pieces I edit in videos are all from patrons. patreon.com/hannahleekidder
I never really understood why people hated the "not like other girls" trope (y'wanna be unique and special, whatever) until listening to this series. Seriously, why the fuck is everyone just staring at her?
I need to know why you read all the Twilight books for your college thesis. Did you roast it in order to get a good grade ???
My thesis was twilight is a literary tragedy vs a literary romance based on Aristotle's definition of the two
why do you have such a big push pop behind you in the promotion cut in
No, this is the best.
this whole series could've been gayer.
We're gonna fix it
Or at least some kind of LGBTQ+ representation
Jow to rewrite Twilight; Cntrl + Alt + Del.
👍
I hate stories that drag on. Get to the damn point. Lol.
Honestly, you are wonderfully insane to believe that Mormon woman give her characters some depth and complexity, this is still more interesting than how the books and the films ended up, well done! 😂
this book is so mind numbingly _boring_
Are you kidding me you have to make any book out there remotely gay when it was never to begin with
Are you gonna be ok do you need some water