Thank you, and this is very insightful… I now understand why my son wants to push me away. He is giving back his birthday present because he said he doesn’t deserve it. he even admits he is pushing me away. I think it’s also because he feels so much guilt and shame around me. It’s been a terrible Christmas for the most part. My heart is hurting all the time.
My prayers go out to you. This disease is a beast. Detachment is necessary. A good self-care plan for yourself helps too. Al-Anon helped me deal with my loved one's drinking. Good luck.
Thank you Amber! Your teaching and videos are so, so helpful. And your style of presentation makes the video so easy to watch and listen to. I have a question….my husband had been sober for one after many attempts (8 years of relapses lasting from 6 weeks to a couple of months).over the last 6 months he has had several relapses When talking to him about his most recent relapse he said…’l just don’t want to be afraid of alcohol’. What do I do with this comment/sentiment? I didn’t say anything and just listened but what I wanted to say was …’are you not more afraid of losing your family?’ Thankfully because of your teachings I didn’t go there. I guess I’m wondering what stage of recovery he is in. We had such a good year of alcohol not being part of our life. Thank you again for your guidance and teaching….trying hard here not to be the bad guy and stay 5 steps ahead!
My adult son has attacked me verbally for the last six months. My health is bad. How do I make him stop. I was in bed delirious for 6 days with a fever when he called, and I can't take anymore.
My son gifted us a bottle of wine for Christmas probably thinking we would open it for dinner. We didn’t because I don’t want to enable him to drink. He mentioned it because I said I was going to put it in the fridge. He asked if I put it in the freezer or fridge after dinner. I wasn’t sure if he thought I forgot to open it.
My guess is someone using “change talk” is what you would call someone in gray area thinking, weighing that they are considering changing but not yet committing to any action?
I think grey area thinking is when the substance is BECOMING a problem but you or the person is making excuses that "ah, it's not that bad" and keep ingesting the substance, then before the person knows it they're an addict because grey thinking is basically an excuse, it's neither black or white because the person WANTS the substance and the grey area is them reasoning with THEMSELVES why it's not that problematic. But yes, grey could be someone seeing they have a problem, but careful w the "change" talk, or too much of it. Sometimes people use this so you will forget about the usage because "they're thinking about quitting so it's ok" (that's what the addict wants you to think) it's a tough spot for all involved
Thanks, Amber. With my partner, I think, it's because he needs to re-invent himself. He has no hobbies...wonder if he ever really had any interest in anything that did not include booze. I'm trying very hard not to push, but I desperately want him to join a program. Something where his mind can be shifted into a new gear. Not your problem. Your videos are invaluable to me.
Thank you, and this is very insightful… I now understand why my son wants to push me away. He is giving back his birthday present because he said he doesn’t deserve it. he even admits he is pushing me away. I think it’s also because he feels so much guilt and shame around me. It’s been a terrible Christmas for the most part. My heart is hurting all the time.
My prayers go out to you. This disease is a beast. Detachment is necessary. A good self-care plan for yourself helps too. Al-Anon helped me deal with my loved one's drinking. Good luck.
I figured it out on August 21, 2022. 🙂👍🙏
This channel is truth.
That's awesome, Kenneth! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
Thank you Amber! Your teaching and videos are so, so helpful. And your style of presentation makes the video so easy to watch and listen to. I have a question….my husband had been sober for one after many attempts (8 years of relapses lasting from 6 weeks to a couple of months).over the last 6 months he has had several relapses When talking to him about his most recent relapse he said…’l just don’t want to be afraid of alcohol’. What do I do with this comment/sentiment? I didn’t say anything and just listened but what I wanted to say was …’are you not more afraid of losing your family?’ Thankfully because of your teachings I didn’t go there. I guess I’m wondering what stage of recovery he is in. We had such a good year of alcohol not being part of our life.
Thank you again for your guidance and teaching….trying hard here not to be the bad guy and stay 5 steps ahead!
My adult son has attacked me verbally for the last six months. My health is bad. How do I make him stop. I was in bed delirious for 6 days with a fever when he called, and I can't take anymore.
My son gifted us a bottle of wine for Christmas probably thinking we would open it for dinner. We didn’t because I don’t want to enable him to drink. He mentioned it because I said I was going to put it in the fridge. He asked if I put it in the freezer or fridge after dinner. I wasn’t sure if he thought I forgot to open it.
My guess is someone using “change talk” is what you would call someone in gray area thinking, weighing that they are considering changing but not yet committing to any action?
I think grey area thinking is when the substance is BECOMING a problem but you or the person is making excuses that "ah, it's not that bad" and keep ingesting the substance, then before the person knows it they're an addict because grey thinking is basically an excuse, it's neither black or white because the person WANTS the substance and the grey area is them reasoning with THEMSELVES why it's not that problematic.
But yes, grey could be someone seeing they have a problem, but careful w the "change" talk, or too much of it. Sometimes people use this so you will forget about the usage because "they're thinking about quitting so it's ok" (that's what the addict wants you to think) it's a tough spot for all involved
I think you might have described the “bargaining stage” by the new grey area term
Thanks, Amber. With my partner, I think, it's because he needs to re-invent himself. He has no hobbies...wonder if he ever really had any interest in anything that did not include booze. I'm trying very hard not to push, but I desperately want him to join a program. Something where his mind can be shifted into a new gear. Not your problem. Your videos are invaluable to me.
@@adeleb3098 I think that’s a good idea. It didn’t have to be specially recovery related.
Very good.
A suggestion-the background music is distracting.
❤
Please skip the music.
Is this what you normally refer to as the bargaining stage Amber?
Denial