When I don’t know what the next steps are for a project and I’m trying to write down a plan I will actually write down: learn what the next steps will be.
External deadlines help some for me. I definitely tell my wife to tell me when she wants something done instead of just giving me an arbitrary todo list. But this still doesn’t help if I think it is an arbitrary or fake deadline. So telling my self I want to get this done before June rarely works because it’s not a real deadline. Saying I need it done before June because I’m doing something on June first and I will be using the output from my current project. Now that works. Task I might not finish. I would really like to build a table this year. Task I will finish I need to build a table before Thanksgiving because we will use it at thanksgiving.
This! I do exactly this. I tell everybody to give me deadlines or else I might not do it on time. If something has to be ready in two weeks, please chop it up in smaller milestones and set deadlines for you to review my progress. That is the only way I’ve found to get my _ss/brain into gear. The shame of having to admit to someone that I’ve not done my work is a powerful motivator but it’s also a very toxic one because it doesn’t solve the issue of waiting until the very, very, very last moment to do in one day what I had originally two weeks for. And so when on the day I finally can do what I needed to, a manager asks me to do something else, I get stuck in this mental loop of having to disappoint the people who’ve been waiting two weeks already or disappoint that manager who might rightfully say: but you’ve had two weeks already to work on this. It’s scarring, it really is.
To add to step 2: I (personally) have the need to make things as perfect as possible since I want to explain myself to other people why I take so long with everything. So every time I abandon something, it raises the stakes for the next big thing which makes it even more likely to fail. This can become a really unhealthy cycle and it's hard (but necessary) to break out of it and start small. Appreciate your thoughts :)
Somehow, I over-explain to make my thinking "make sense" to others, and yet it still comes across as being very divergent and convoluted. This then turns into frustration. Oh well.
I somehow get stuck with starting projects and not sticking around to finishing them/ rushing through the finish line. This is the most apparent in my career journey, which is unfortunate because there's not a lot of money/ stability/ structure in the startup stages.
This definitely hits hard, I've struggled with finishing projects my whole life but it only really became an 'issue' during grad school (I was a really good crammer/last-minute-finisher but that doesn't fly for writing academic papers/dissertations). I eventually finished my PhD my sheer force of will but it wasn't pretty and I never really developed good strategies that have lasted. Thanks for the tips, I definitely need to check out virtual co-working, I think that would help! Cheers!
0:49 Appreciate you for that disclaimer. Especially concerning ADHD, while well intended in the information they want to speak on, not enough people do this in my opinion.
FIrst, you have (are working on?) a PhD, you're good enough. Second, you touched on it, there were no consequences when you didn't sign into your "work" environment. Finding consequences (I suggest positive rather than negative) for activities you want to start, can help develop a routine that might help.
I am really glad that you changed your approach from the fully productivity focussed to something way more relatable, I also am soo often scared of failure and I don't t feel like this is discussed soo much or even put clearly in the development process as it should. We often disregard the fear that often makes us procrastinate the start of tasks, hidding in shame something that its clearly in everyone's processes for anything! getting the guts and breaking the perfectionists self sabotaging is one of the most energy draining part of any project. And we act like that is "pre-project", when planning and stuff of the kind becomes "in-project" even though there is no clear distinction of what its producing something and what is not, getting yourself a planner and writting small deadlines becomes part of producing but preparing yourself mentally is not, it should be!!! Glad to have a clear advocate for that!!!
For my personal projects I decided a few years ago that I wasn't going to care about whether or not I finished them, that it was the process of thinking about them that I seem to enjoy most, so the majority of my projects never get beyond the thinking stage. Most of the rest peter out pretty quickly in the implementation phase, and I've decided that I'm okay with that. Maybe there's some satisfaction I'm missing out on from actually finishing things, but in the rare cases I do finish things I'm fed up of them by that time so it's not quite as much as I sometimes think.
Focusmate is 5 dollars a month and they have coworking sessions on Zoom every week. There are several coworking groups on Facebook and club house that are free to join.
"Added to Watch Later SEE LIST"
When I don’t know what the next steps are for a project and I’m trying to write down a plan I will actually write down: learn what the next steps will be.
Thank you, I'll put this video into my ADHD self help playlist for when I need to watch it again cc:
External deadlines help some for me. I definitely tell my wife to tell me when she wants something done instead of just giving me an arbitrary todo list. But this still doesn’t help if I think it is an arbitrary or fake deadline. So telling my self I want to get this done before June rarely works because it’s not a real deadline. Saying I need it done before June because I’m doing something on June first and I will be using the output from my current project. Now that works.
Task I might not finish.
I would really like to build a table this year.
Task I will finish
I need to build a table before Thanksgiving because we will use it at thanksgiving.
This! I do exactly this. I tell everybody to give me deadlines or else I might not do it on time. If something has to be ready in two weeks, please chop it up in smaller milestones and set deadlines for you to review my progress. That is the only way I’ve found to get my _ss/brain into gear. The shame of having to admit to someone that I’ve not done my work is a powerful motivator but it’s also a very toxic one because it doesn’t solve the issue of waiting until the very, very, very last moment to do in one day what I had originally two weeks for. And so when on the day I finally can do what I needed to, a manager asks me to do something else, I get stuck in this mental loop of having to disappoint the people who’ve been waiting two weeks already or disappoint that manager who might rightfully say: but you’ve had two weeks already to work on this. It’s scarring, it really is.
To add to step 2:
I (personally) have the need to make things as perfect as possible since I want to explain myself to other people why I take so long with everything. So every time I abandon something, it raises the stakes for the next big thing which makes it even more likely to fail.
This can become a really unhealthy cycle and it's hard (but necessary) to break out of it and start small. Appreciate your thoughts :)
Somehow, I over-explain to make my thinking "make sense" to others, and yet it still comes across as being very divergent and convoluted. This then turns into frustration. Oh well.
@@Heyu7her3 I feel this so much, it’s incredible how embarrassing this can become. Being stubborn doesn’t help as well 😬
I somehow get stuck with starting projects and not sticking around to finishing them/ rushing through the finish line. This is the most apparent in my career journey, which is unfortunate because there's not a lot of money/ stability/ structure in the startup stages.
This definitely hits hard, I've struggled with finishing projects my whole life but it only really became an 'issue' during grad school (I was a really good crammer/last-minute-finisher but that doesn't fly for writing academic papers/dissertations). I eventually finished my PhD my sheer force of will but it wasn't pretty and I never really developed good strategies that have lasted. Thanks for the tips, I definitely need to check out virtual co-working, I think that would help! Cheers!
0:49 Appreciate you for that disclaimer. Especially concerning ADHD, while well intended in the information they want to speak on, not enough people do this in my opinion.
FIrst, you have (are working on?) a PhD, you're good enough. Second, you touched on it, there were no consequences when you didn't sign into your "work" environment. Finding consequences (I suggest positive rather than negative) for activities you want to start, can help develop a routine that might help.
I needed this video. Gonna fo start that assignment now. Thanks Jordan!
I am really glad that you changed your approach from the fully productivity focussed to something way more relatable, I also am soo often scared of failure and I don't t feel like this is discussed soo much or even put clearly in the development process as it should.
We often disregard the fear that often makes us procrastinate the start of tasks, hidding in shame something that its clearly in everyone's processes for anything! getting the guts and breaking the perfectionists self sabotaging is one of the most energy draining part of any project. And we act like that is "pre-project", when planning and stuff of the kind becomes "in-project" even though there is no clear distinction of what its producing something and what is not, getting yourself a planner and writting small deadlines becomes part of producing but preparing yourself mentally is not, it should be!!! Glad to have a clear advocate for that!!!
I actually need this sooo I'm hoping this gives good tips 👀
I have trouble starting a project, let alone finishing one.
Executive Functioning is a b_tch 😞
For my personal projects I decided a few years ago that I wasn't going to care about whether or not I finished them, that it was the process of thinking about them that I seem to enjoy most, so the majority of my projects never get beyond the thinking stage. Most of the rest peter out pretty quickly in the implementation phase, and I've decided that I'm okay with that.
Maybe there's some satisfaction I'm missing out on from actually finishing things, but in the rare cases I do finish things I'm fed up of them by that time so it's not quite as much as I sometimes think.
So much of this is so very me.
Thank you for the video, will definitely help.
Perhaps you could add a video on a related topic, some students using AI to write their assignments
Are there any free alternatives to Flow Club?
$33 per month is kinda ridiculous for what they offer.
Focusmate is 5 dollars a month and they have coworking sessions on Zoom every week. There are several coworking groups on Facebook and club house that are free to join.
finish you what start??? :)))))
Gorgeous.