+Frank James Because others aren't your worst critic, the worst critic you have is yourself, that's why you are dying inside. When you are kinder to yourself, you build a shield and allow only whatever you are telling yourself already. "Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light, some people need to help somebody when the edge of surrender's in sight." - Baywatch. Be your own Baywatch self talk.
👏👏👏 I’ve been accused by several close friends lately about not caring. The truth is I care about everything! So it’s hard not to take that personally. I tried to figure out what I could have done differently, but honestly I didn’t realize they felt that way until they said something. I can only control my actions and can only change things going forward. Hope that helps someone!
The professional "feedback" I get sometimes is the hardest to deal with, but I think it's because there is so much passion behind what I do. Thick skin is important but I feel self confidence is more important and allows you to not give a crap what others say. Great topic.
+Brad Davis "You can't do that with the violin, hip hop and violin don't mix, it sounded like a cat fight, there is no way you can make a living out of this, fill a theater, take my word for it, no." - America's Got Talent to Lindsey Stirling. Fast forward to the future and she's doing what the judges said that she couldn't do hahaha professionals.
I tend to get this way when I get good feedback at work! I love my job so much that if my boss calls me into her office and starts to compliment or congratulate me on the work I’ve been doing, I have to hold back tears bc I’m so happy!
+novakate You cry of joy because you rely on others to tell you that you are good, in negative you try to prove to others that you are good and when do good the cycle continues. Just like a girl said to me once "You are so funny. Really? Dude, you should know this already, just say, i know i am, aww you are sweet. No, no sweet, the truth, believe it".
Brad Davis I agree 100%. I put a lot of thought and work into each decision, each discussion, etc. Developing a thick skin professionally is more challenging for me at this season of my life.
Legit doe. Whenever I get a mean comment, it takes me a second, but I step back and remember that a happy person isn't going to leave a mean comment and they've got some stuff going on in their life that they've got to sort out. Love your videos, Amy!
I was always told to look where the comment is coming from and who from. If it's an influencer or an expert in your field it's probably just constructive criticism. If it's from someone who has no idea what it is you do, then take with a pinch of salt, say thank you and walk away. Just let it go. Thanks for a great video. It's always great to hear others opinions on this.
Great video Amy, Amazing timing for me to hear your POV on this as I have been 'feeling' a little too much from a couple troll comments I've gotten on my channel in the last couple days. It's a constant process this thickening the skin. I love your "I just deal with it like a phone call...I just don't pick up". Sage advice. Don't engage and always take the high road.
I think the key to developing thick skin is to understand from what place people are giving their opinions. People who are giving constructive feedback are the people who care about you and support you. Those who give shit advice are people who when you think about it don’t really care about you or your journey. Once you realize that, the thick skin part comes from focusing on the people who care about you and ignoring those who don’t.
Let’s face the reality ok! People talk behind and in front of you .its up to you how you take it. They have a mouth so they will speak and no one can change that. They criticise, let them, they talk, let them. But when you go successfully these will be the same people who will become honey coated and say nice things like oh ! I use to know ‘‘this is the guy, then he was in school with me or he is my relative .you need to know what should matter and what shouldn’t and you will be unstoppable.
I was a really sensitive person when I was in middle school, but my skin has become thicker along the years, I care about the opinions about a selected few people I care about and that’s it.
I needed this. I take too much too personally and I've been told so many times that I need to toughen up. That especially needs to happen if I want to continue my journey here and on Instagram. Thank you Amy!♥
Thank you for being real and honest, Amy! This is so much better than "know-it-all" or "solve-it-all" types of advice! I'm glad I clicked on this video (: It made me feel better
It's super hard to know what feedback is truly valuable...a lot of the time I'm very critical of the work I put out. I'm lucky to be in that position! One time I was using a teaching tool I was told was very helpful for English learners, which is repeating their answers when I asked a question. And I went into a classroom of a teacher whom I hold in very high regard. But because she teaches a GATE class, she asked that I not inflate the kids' egos by "hanging on their every word." I was so surprised by that feedback on my teaching practice, it was delivered so kindly, but the timing of it was really wrong and I cried. Timing is everything. The moral of the story is, sometimes the people who help me get better may only enter when I'm ready for them. They're on the list but I have to go out and remove the rope myself.
Amy I have been binge watching your videos over the last two days and I plan to buy your audiobook. I so wish I would have found this video sooner! I have a RUclips Channel with just shy of 30k subscribers over the last two years I have had to figure out how to develop a thick skin being very sensitive and self conscience. I appreciate every word that comes out of your mouth and I hope to someday reach the level you have reached today and where you will soar in the future! ❤️
My parents can be critical and irrational in their responses to my decisions and thoughts. Although I care for them, I developed thick to to understand that they have their own opinion and what they think of me doesn’t matter more than what I personally think. I also try to develop thick skin when people are really kind to me. It may sound strange, but when someone really shows that they care for me emotionally (kind of like a mother’s love and reassurance) I feel like crying. But I don’t want to cry in front of them, so I try to hold back my tears and really want to develop thick skin for that. My mother doesn’t show that kind of love to me, so maybe that’s why I would feel like tearing up.
I'm a film student and I struggle feeling I'm as good as my peers all the time. Film is so competitive! I don't think I care much about what they think, but what I think of myself and that many times isn't good. Your videos help though! Thanks for being awesome Amy
Hi Amy, I'm right there with you! I feel you must be heartless not to care. After reading The Four Agreements, one being not to take anything personally, I understand that what is coming from another person is their perspective and the way they see the world, not necessarily the way things are. I haven't gotten where I am on here by listening to anyone either, I loved that you said that. I think and think and overly think about what I'm doing and why and that alone can give you thick skin because you know why you are doing it and feel passionate about your reasons but at the same time you can feel hurt because someone just doesn't get it and what went into something. Great subject! ~Nikki
+Inspired by Nikki Life is like a tsunami, the only way to surf it is to not take it so seriously the high altitude, because you might fall when you look down and take your pride along with it, go with the wave and you will be fine.
Yesss Nikki, I agree! No one knows the journey we’ve been on and no one cares the hard work we took to get to where we are but others like to pick or give their opinion. For me I think it’s more pressure I put on myself. I’m an overachiever & perfectionist which really is not good bc it holds me back from fully jumping in bc of fear of what others “might” think but in fact I need to focus on who I can inspire & encourage not on the few that will be jealous or negative. 🌸Shannon
Great video! It has taken me a while to get a thicker skin, I remember in school I was always worried about what people thought. Now I still care what people think, but I don't act differently because of those comments. =)
Love this, Amy! I think it's also important that you are your own number one fan of your work. Know that if other people criticize your work, it's simply because your work is not for them. You will eventually attract the right audience who will appreciate what you do. :) Just keep on being the better version of yourself. :)
I know I'm late to this thread, but I also want to point out that I don't have a support system that I can talk to about what bothers me most of the time, so having content like this is a great thing for me. Thanks Amy, and all who participated in this thread.
You really spoke the truth in this one. I like your honesty about negative feedback. Perhaps most of us have difficulty taking correction unless it is given in a kind caring manner.
There's such a huge difference between criticism and constructive criticism. Whether it's "right" or not, how people approach offering criticism makes all the difference between whether I'll write them off or take them into consideration. And then, there's the fact that I'm my own greatest critic. I'm more critical of myself than any other person could possibly be. That also tempers what I'll take and what I'll leave. Great topic! 🙌
People want to cause chaos\doubt\distractions due to their own emptiness\jealousy\anxiety\fear. I try to keep my mind focused on the job at hand-continuing to provide quality work-and also pray for them. Like Dory says, “Just keep swimming...” If something really gets under my skin, I use the 5 second rule and then get back to work.
When you’re left hanging with an important project you’re not trained to do, working for free from home 10-12 hours a day just to keep up and teach yourself, then get criticized for getting it DONE last minute? Never been more angry.
I really liked your ranking system of how we choose who’s opinion matters to us and who is farther down the ladder. It makes sense. I also think it’s great to put yourself on top of the latter. Thanks for the inspiration!
This is so true! Sometimes, the person has your best interest, but sometimes they just have problems of their own that they're subconsciously unloading onto you. It's important to try to understand them, and let go. Thanks so much for these powerful messages! :)
this was the exact thing i needed to hear today, i end up hating people so much that it starts troubling me so much, i am thinking about those people all the time and keep practising phrases i am going to tell them next time, its just crazy
I really agree with the idea that somebody's experience level, relationship to us, the way they say it, etc. gives feedback much more weight. I've gotten good at ignoring the random comments.
I really, really need this. Thank you so much for everything you share with us, it means a lot to me, you have helped me to get out of a very dark place in my mind.
"The most important opinion is mine." My opinion ^^, is that I think what Amy said there sums up the How To. If we know our circumstances, values and motivations for the decisions we make then we should use those realities as security against criticism. And, taking into consideration some people just "speak that way", it's better to have a default setting of assuming people have your best interest at heart when you're unsure. To switch things around, if you're someone who wants to share an opinion, I think it's important not to expect a positive reaction towards your opinion or some type of validation because an opinion doesn't become validated when someone agrees with you. It's your opinion, own it.
I love the fact that you challenged yourself and talked about you don’t feel 100% comfortable with. Love your videos, they’ve helped me soooo muchh!!! ♥️
I tend to care too much about what others think. I have ideas at work and my co-workers shut it down. Especially the ones that don’t seem to have opinions of their own. Put me down. I have too thin skin. You have great tips!
Loved the bit in your book about how you deal with trolls - that definitely helped me deal with starting to get my first less-than-constructive criticism here. Still not easy! Thanks for being so human and reminding us how to do the same.
My rule is if you get a personal hate comment, block and delete. If you get a few constructive comments learn from it. If you get mostly bad comments, figure out what you did wrong, delete your video and start over.
That does work most of the time. Really with everything except targeted harassment because I've seen things get bad real quick when people send others to your video to make negative comments without watching the actual content.
LOVE this, thank you Amy! I just read your book and honestly it is literally the best training for beginners on RUclips that i have come across. Thank you for such an incredible resource. I also just bought your camera and lens last week, the editing software will take some time to get used to lol but i'm excited about upgrading my camera, so far my entire channel was recorded on my smart phone or lap top (with a few audio issues here or there) anyway THANK YOU I appreciate it, your book is also how I found your channel. :)
I came to know you because I am a new vlogger and my wife gave me your book for Christmas. Apparently, she thought you could help me improve. Well, the book is wonderful and it has helped greatly so thank you for that. I became curious and chased you down here. You are amazing. Your vlog is amazing. I am now a subscriber and a fan. What a gift you bring to the lives of your viewers. Thank you so much.
Hey Amy! I worry about comments that haven't even been made yet! I'm nervous about putting myself out there because of all the trolls that can't help but spread negativity wherever they go. But, having said that, your videos are really helping with my confidence. I'm starting to see things differently and I feel that I'm on the right road to getting the life that I want. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and insights with the rest of us. It really is making a difference for me!!
I remember When I got my first personal, negative comment & I took it very offensively.... I gave in and said something back. I do believe I’ve gotten better, but I also understand that I’m only going to get more as I grow so this was really helpful, thank you Amy!
What if the opinions that put the most pain on you come from your own mother and someone whom you thought was a best friend? HSP here btw..so all of this hits home very hard. Thank you kindly for this video. 🙏
I got the rudest harshest comment ever on Reddit (which was the first problem) and it attacked my motives, business, and my physical appearance. It was horrible and it really brought me down. But I realized this person didn't even take the time to watch my content and was basically unloading a lot of baggage on to me. It was so hard to hear but analysing the situation allowed for me to get some true perspective.
Reddit has some of the most disrespectful people and I think you are right, most of them are just unloading their baggage on other people. I believe the majority of active users there are unhappy, bitter, single males. I made the mistake of going there for some relationship advice a while back and got someone who just got so incredibly angry and cursed me out, saying they hope my bf cheats on me and I deserve all of that pain. Crazy and heartless stuff.
Hi Amy! If I had to choose something, I'd say receiving parenting advice from others is one area where I wish I had a thicker skin. I know everyone has a different approach to literally every topic/choice you make when raising your kids, and that we're all just trying our best to raise decent little humans, but it can be hard to keep the faith in your abilities as a parent when there's so many sources of input coming at you. I love your point about valuing the opinions of your top five, and using that to keep perspective on what feedback you choose to let influence or upset you - I'm definitely going to try putting that into action. Thanks for the great video!
I’ve never felt like a RUclipsr had my back more than your first comment on if there’s someone making you question this then you don’t like them. Thank you so much! I needed this because I am going through this with one of my best friends right now. ❤️
"Only people who are helping me get better may enter." I love that so much. Sometimes I get very nasty comments, more on my blog than on my youtube channel, from people basically telling me I don't know what I'm talking about. I've decided if they don't have anything online that indicates that they know better(and they never do), I'm not going to pay them any mind. That's what my logical mind says, but my emotional mind is like, "How could they say that? Where did I go wrong?" So yeah, this thick skin thing is hard.
Ummmm, seriously, you are pretty much the bomb. Thank you for all your information, I'm a creator as well just different contect. I appreciate your research, experience, insights, etc... Im about the same age as you, I GET YOU and relate a lot, how life changes after 30, (im going to be 31 lol) and in June 4th! very close to yours too,.... anyways you are awesome! muah xo
Your words can be so reassuring...and timely! Enjoying these vids while taking walks, even though I'm looking for jobs in a field totally unrelated to yours! I'm trying to evolve on this subject of not taking things personally. Thanks
Thanks Amy! I’ve just started my RUclips channel after watching your video where you said ‘just start. Stop making excuses and just start.’ So I did! I have two videos up, am in the inevitable stage of stressing 24/7 about views and subscribers, and my thick skin issue is I CANNOT bring myself to tell anyone besides my closest peeps about the channel to get it off ground zero because of what their opinion will be, or even their opinion of me asking for views. My skin is truly transparent 😂
Growing up I took pride in going my own way. I got good grades and when I started working I got praise for hard work & loyalty. Clicks in school that didn’t want me or said unneeded comments to me rolled of me in my conviction I didn’t want to be like them anyway, that in ways I was better than them. Words could hurt but I could move on. Pride in short got me through, of being myself no matter what. I might not be popular but at least I had this & that. But in later years school & work got harder and I failed again & again. I felt less proud, less tough skinned. I came to notice that my work ethics really didnt fit today’s society, viewed too ”stiff”, too honest. And all that high-horsing in early teens left me feeling I lacked in social skills , that maybe you needed to conform more & be more shallow, trendy etc to make friends and I just don’t know how to. I overthink. It is a hard earned lesson that if your confidence & self-value is connected to accomplishment, it is frail. And here I stand today, working on it day by day to change just enough to become my view on a better me without feeling like a big phony. All critism I nowadays take too personally, not that i Ignore them but I rarely question them unless they are from my family. I hear compliments, positive things but I always expect a ”But...” of things I need to improve.
You are right, everyone has opinions, suggestions and differences with the way we do things, but, most of them do not understand or are even aware of the logical thinking and reasoning behind our decision making and have no clue of what our bigger picture is. Valuing opinions only from people that we prioritize is the one of the things that stops us from going insane or feeling hurt all the time coz of other people’s choices of words and the tone used to deliver the message.
One of the reasons I need thick skin: Every time someone finds out I’m going to homeschool my daughter, I instantly get the “homeschool kids end up with social problems” reaction. It makes me second guess my own decisions, even though I originally felt like it was the right thing to do.
I find homeschooling is wonderful. We need more parenting in this busy world. Parents as teachers of their kids are just amazing. You can really focus on the way your kid learns fastest. Schools don't have the resources to focus on individuality. We need more of that for sure 👍
I think this concept of a thick skin is critical for moving forward. I find I struggle with the possibility of letting people down rather than what they might say to me. So my skin doesn't need to be as thick as my resolve does in always trying to do what's best for me and those around me. Thanks for the real talk, Amy!
I don't do well with criticism either. It really is the way people say things when they're criticizing that bothers me most. Some people say things in a way where it's obvious they're trying to act like they are better than you in some way just to make themselves feel better. Those are usually the ones that I get angry at and am tempted to tell them off/defend myself. Then there are others who offer constructive criticism and are coming from a place of trying to help which is nice and all but in the end I'm always going to do what I want to do my way so I can continue to live an honest and more fulfilling life, so I really think they're just wasting their time.
I really appreciated this. I am just about to launch a blog and I because I am a sensitive person it is going to be hard for me to read the negative comments and everything. But now I have a few tools under my belt to dealing with it. Thanks for that!
All my life I've been called stupid or called a dumba**. But my dad taught me "do what you go to do to survive" and that has pretty much become the motto for my life.
I have to develop thick skin for a few parts of my life. 1. I need to have thick skin towards people who are falling out of my life. I made a huge change in my life (for the better for me) and I have lost tons of friends doing so. Tons. I need to figure out how to not let that bother me. I think on one hand, I'm better off because if they don't want to support me they were never my friends to begin with, but then I think, whats wrong with me? or I think was my life a lie before and these people really weren't my real friends after all. And the not knowing what they think of me or caring what they think of me. I go back and forth of not even caring to caring way too much. Thanks for the video. It has made me think more on this topic I didn't realize was holding me back and will allow me to work through something and move past it.
You are my soul sister, Amy! It felt like you were describing me when you talked about yourself on how you handle criticism. I could relate to what you were saying at so many levels. Totally agree that there is no right answer to this and it all depends on the person and context. Keep shining on in your videos - your content is so refreshing! Much love!!! ❤️
I'm very thankful for advice on the subject. I'm someone who criticism sticks to like trauma. I can remember things from YEARS ago when someone said something in a way that hurt and I'm still affected by it. Thick skin and resilience are two things I'm constantly developing. Doesn't seem to have an end but I'm definitely better now than well before years ago.
Hi Amy. I completely agree with you about other peoples opinions. If I had taken other peoples advice verses following what I knew to be right I would not have my own business now. Thanks for all the great videos.
I needed this. I've recently started to take my channel in a different direction and I've had some pushback. As a result I've read into and listened to every opinion thrown at me. Some days I feel like I have rhino skin and I can take it and most days I feel like Jell-O. Your points on who's opinions (mine, then significant other, then family) has given me a focus now. Thank you for that. Cheers!
When someone tells me something constructive and gives criticism that is trying to help me, then I think about it. It doesn't meant that I will follow their suggestion, but the other one has maybe made a point that makes the things that I do better. When someone tells me something that is not constructive, that is mean, that is meant to hurt me then I try to take these steps. 1. Smile. 2. Say: Thank you for your comment. 3. Think: Fuck you. It doesn't matter if it is a troll on the internet or your boss (even bosses can be mean), I always try to take the high road. Someone who wants to bring others down doesn't have my respect.
I'm a woman who does RUclips vids about technology (Hak5), so I've constantly dealt with personal attacks just because of my gender. I developed a thick skin by surrounding myself with positive people who provide criticism constructively, and who will work WITH me rather than against. I also drew a line between whose feedback I consider. A RUclips comment from someone I've never met? Or a person I work with every day?
So beautifully put Amy! I think I can be my biggest critic. I have homeschooled this year, but now I’m ready to start something new again. It seems like I have career ADD, but since becoming a Mom it’s even more all over the place.
Super helpful 💗. Got some negative feedback from my number 2 recently. It has thrown me off but I’m trying to get back on track. I have still managed to upload videos on time which I’m really proud of because that means it didn’t throw me as far off track as it could have.
I’m interviewing for an Executive Assistant position and am very much fighting my imposter syndrome. I know it’s going to be a huge challenge but praying my skin is thick enough to get me through
This has been a huge, many years long challenge for me. I am a naturally emotional person. So, even when I know better, and I try sooo sooo hard to not, I will sometimes burst into tears at the slightest provocation. I went to my husband one day in tears because someone sent me an anonymous Ask on Tumblr slamming me as a person because I write fantasy books. I should know already that anonymous (especially Tumblr) usually means Troll. But, they said such awful things and it really upset me. I had a reply ready to argue every single point they tried to make. But, Hubby got me calmed down, took my phone, and deleted my reply before I hit send. It helps to have people remind you to try and tough it out when you want to go cry. That's been the big thing for me.
When I organize an event or have something coming up that I know is going to get "comments" directed at me, I first talk it all through with my co-workers I DO trust, so they can bring up points I may have missed & we improve it then. I then face the day of the event and after with a resolve that I did what I could do. If or when people challenge me on my choices, it's still annoying, but I've already thought it through as to the "WHY" I did such-and-such. It helps me feel more in control of my response!
When you said the part about if these critics and if they are even putting in the effort themselves... oh my gosh, PING! PING! PING! I'm just like, "Is this good information they are giving me? If so why aren't THEY using it? It's a tricky balance. Thanks for being so vulnerable in your message here.
Can I just start by saying that I want to be you when I grow up. I have been watching your videos now for a few weeks. Inhaling you're content; it's simply amazing and you have helped me incredibly. I too am a huge Gary Vee fan as well and look to him as a mentor. The thick skin issue is the one thing holding me back from starting a vlog of my own. I know that people can be really mean and I wasn't really sure how I would handle that before I watched this video. I think your advice was great and has given my courage to go for it. Making a list of people whose opinions matter (my children's and mine being at the top, followed by family and my TARGET audience), put so much into perspective for me. It really is easy to be in the peanut gallery. I absolutely love you. I wish you more and more infinite success, love and happiness. Keep Crushing It! ;)
I love your videos! I discovered you just a few weeks ago and have put into practice all your advice and it has helped me so much. I felt so depressed then I found your videos and it has lighten my mood a lot more. Thank you for being you!!! 🙌🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💓💓
I love “I just don’t take the phone call”! 😂 That is exactly how I end up handling crap criticism. The shit that isn’t helping me, just making and asshole feel better around me when I’m doing well. Listening to you is like finally listening to my subconscious instead of shoving it aside so I can be professional.
Something I’ve learned is that some people just enjoy negativity and drama. I just wish I had the ability to learn to block these types of people out like people love to fabricate things twist and turn them and even stoop so low as to making a video or should I say videos about you.. idk Amy but to me that isn’t normal for someone to do and is basically just asking for attention especially when all you’ve done was help the person out. They turn around and try and stab you in the back.. it’s just sad and then we have some people that watch and see negativity and then just jump right on in without even having a clue as to the whole story and the truth idk about everyone else but this is something that makes me just sick idk maybe I was raised differently but that isn’t how things work in my mind atleat lol. BTW AMY I MADE A VIDEO thanking you for providing such an amazing book and it is such an amazing book I love it it’s on my self but I have your spine turned so I can always see it and the other books I have the spine turned around so it’s all white lol.. love that idea but I had to keep yours turned outwards bc I just love the colors and you 💕🤗 Love you Amy xoxo 💋 Nicole
Omg I totally relate with the thing about /how/ the person gives the message makes all the difference. And I also realized that I couldn't change that about the person.... seriously struggling with deciphering people's messages without getting offended by just the way they talk
I'm new to your channel and I'm so happy I subscribed as I'm enjoying so many of your videos when I have a few moments to spare. This one particularly interests me as even though I am in my middle age, developing a thick skin has been difficult, personally and professionally for me. I agree wholeheartedly about only really paying attention to the people that truly matter in your life...partner, parents etc. but another rule of thumb I now use that echos your advice is this; if the person relaying the criticism is someone you admire and has achieved much in the area you are working in/on, then listen with an open mind...understanding that the help they mean to offer may be clumsily expressed. If not, then just disregard. Trolls will be trolls in real life and on line. When they behave like that it is themselves they are poisoning, not you and any reasonable person hearing or reading them recognises this. In the end, they only damage themselves.
Thank you this is gold! Could you talk more about how not to take professional criticism personally like when my supervisor uses an accusatory tone to tell me I forgot to do something minor...? It makes me feel dumb when I know it’s just her way of telling me and I also need to learn better ways of responding to ensure her I’m not an idiot 🙈💕 Thank you Amy!!!
I’m happy to have found this video. Look up ‘highly sensitive person’, HSP. 20%of the population has it! It’s totally me. I’ve learned being sensitive is a gift. I’m still growing and learning how to cope when ppl are negative.
Thanks for this video. It is something I struggle with. Good to hear what works for you and what doesn't to add more tools to work on this area. The more I care for someone the greater the impact of their words affect me for good or ill.
I have very thin skin. Every single thing that is said that is said to me I take it personally. Its like one word impacts my self esteem. I hate that I'm that way. I have tried not taking criticism and other things personally. Thanks for the feedback! Will definitely try it out
I'm starting my own youtube channel *spanish only... And I always knew the trolls and hate comments would eventually come.... but it happened WAY EARLIER than I expected. I'm not even at 500 suscribers and there's already a random person who has created several accounts just to fill my channel with DISLIKES and hate comments. I felt SO DOWN the first 3 weeks..... nowadays I just delete the comments, sadly I can't do much about the dislikes.... they look nasty, but I'm just trying to cope with them internally.
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My mother always taught me.. "If you care what people say or think about you, you'll go crazy". Great message here.
HAHA that's is so true 😂
V Reacts 👏👏👏
Mother's advice is THE best! 🙌
V Reacts lol I think I did at one point wen I was younger because I was never told this...thankksss
Same
Dr. Seuss said it best "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I love it!
"The most important opinion is mine." Love it! Thanks Amy!
I think, sometimes, having a thick skin is just actually pretending you don't care about criticism and negativity while you're dying inside...
+Frank James Because others aren't your worst critic, the worst critic you have is yourself, that's why you are dying inside. When you are kinder to yourself, you build a shield and allow only whatever you are telling yourself already. "Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light, some people need to help somebody when the edge of surrender's in sight." - Baywatch. Be your own Baywatch self talk.
Frank James so wise!
Frank James but no one is entitled to no criticism in life.
You will get criticism no matter what
Hey guys. When you know your truth as in the person you are and God know that you're other people's opinions won't matter. Live free in Jesus.
OMG I WATCH YOUR VIDEOS ALL THE TIME😱😱😱😱😱😳😳😳🤯🤯
👏👏👏 I’ve been accused by several close friends lately about not caring. The truth is I care about everything! So it’s hard not to take that personally. I tried to figure out what I could have done differently, but honestly I didn’t realize they felt that way until they said something. I can only control my actions and can only change things going forward. Hope that helps someone!
The professional "feedback" I get sometimes is the hardest to deal with, but I think it's because there is so much passion behind what I do. Thick skin is important but I feel self confidence is more important and allows you to not give a crap what others say. Great topic.
+Brad Davis "You can't do that with the violin, hip hop and violin don't mix, it sounded like a cat fight, there is no way you can make a living out of this, fill a theater, take my word for it, no." - America's Got Talent to Lindsey Stirling. Fast forward to the future and she's doing what the judges said that she couldn't do hahaha professionals.
I tend to get this way when I get good feedback at work! I love my job so much that if my boss calls me into her office and starts to compliment or congratulate me on the work I’ve been doing, I have to hold back tears bc I’m so happy!
Negative feedback is another story, I really don’t like it and try to out perform so I can avoid it altogether
+novakate You cry of joy because you rely on others to tell you that you are good, in negative you try to prove to others that you are good and when do good the cycle continues. Just like a girl said to me once "You are so funny. Really? Dude, you should know this already, just say, i know i am, aww you are sweet. No, no sweet, the truth, believe it".
Brad Davis I agree 100%. I put a lot of thought and work into each decision, each discussion, etc. Developing a thick skin professionally is more challenging for me at this season of my life.
"it's like a phone call, I just don't pick up" I relate so much 😂
Legit doe. Whenever I get a mean comment, it takes me a second, but I step back and remember that a happy person isn't going to leave a mean comment and they've got some stuff going on in their life that they've got to sort out. Love your videos, Amy!
I was always told to look where the comment is coming from and who from.
If it's an influencer or an expert in your field it's probably just constructive criticism.
If it's from someone who has no idea what it is you do, then take with a pinch of salt, say thank you and walk away. Just let it go.
Thanks for a great video. It's always great to hear others opinions on this.
Great video Amy, Amazing timing for me to hear your POV on this as I have been 'feeling' a little too much from a couple troll comments I've gotten on my channel in the last couple days. It's a constant process this thickening the skin. I love your "I just deal with it like a phone call...I just don't pick up". Sage advice. Don't engage and always take the high road.
Great to see you here Philip! Important to stay focused no matter what the haters say. Later haters!
amen sista. see you soon for our interview...:-)
The first ten seconds of this 😂 I LOVE it. Thank you. I need to listen to this video on repeat as I am pretty sensitive.
I laughed out loud for waayyy too long ! Took my a couple min to watch the remainder of the video lol
I think the key to developing thick skin is to understand from what place people are giving their opinions. People who are giving constructive feedback are the people who care about you and support you. Those who give shit advice are people who when you think about it don’t really care about you or your journey. Once you realize that, the thick skin part comes from focusing on the people who care about you and ignoring those who don’t.
Let’s face the reality ok! People talk behind and in front of you .its up to you how you take it. They have a mouth so they will speak and no one can change that. They criticise, let them, they talk, let them. But when you go successfully these will be the same people who will become honey coated and say nice things like oh ! I use to know ‘‘this is the guy, then he was in school with me or he is my relative .you need to know what should matter and what shouldn’t and you will be unstoppable.
I was a really sensitive person when I was in middle school, but my skin has become thicker along the years, I care about the opinions about a selected few people I care about and that’s it.
I needed this. I take too much too personally and I've been told so many times that I need to toughen up. That especially needs to happen if I want to continue my journey here and on Instagram. Thank you Amy!♥
Thank you for being real and honest, Amy! This is so much better than "know-it-all" or "solve-it-all" types of advice! I'm glad I clicked on this video (: It made me feel better
It's super hard to know what feedback is truly valuable...a lot of the time I'm very critical of the work I put out. I'm lucky to be in that position! One time I was using a teaching tool I was told was very helpful for English learners, which is repeating their answers when I asked a question. And I went into a classroom of a teacher whom I hold in very high regard. But because she teaches a GATE class, she asked that I not inflate the kids' egos by "hanging on their every word." I was so surprised by that feedback on my teaching practice, it was delivered so kindly, but the timing of it was really wrong and I cried. Timing is everything.
The moral of the story is, sometimes the people who help me get better may only enter when I'm ready for them. They're on the list but I have to go out and remove the rope myself.
Amy I have been binge watching your videos over the last two days and I plan to buy your audiobook. I so wish I would have found this video sooner! I have a RUclips Channel with just shy of 30k subscribers over the last two years I have had to figure out how to develop a thick skin being very sensitive and self conscience. I appreciate every word that comes out of your mouth and I hope to someday reach the level you have reached today and where you will soar in the future! ❤️
My parents can be critical and irrational in their responses to my decisions and thoughts. Although I care for them, I developed thick to to understand that they have their own opinion and what they think of me doesn’t matter more than what I personally think.
I also try to develop thick skin when people are really kind to me. It may sound strange, but when someone really shows that they care for me emotionally (kind of like a mother’s love and reassurance) I feel like crying. But I don’t want to cry in front of them, so I try to hold back my tears and really want to develop thick skin for that. My mother doesn’t show that kind of love to me, so maybe that’s why I would feel like tearing up.
I'm a film student and I struggle feeling I'm as good as my peers all the time. Film is so competitive! I don't think I care much about what they think, but what I think of myself and that many times isn't good. Your videos help though! Thanks for being awesome Amy
Hi Amy, I'm right there with you! I feel you must be heartless not to care. After reading The Four Agreements, one being not to take anything personally, I understand that what is coming from another person is their perspective and the way they see the world, not necessarily the way things are. I haven't gotten where I am on here by listening to anyone either, I loved that you said that. I think and think and overly think about what I'm doing and why and that alone can give you thick skin because you know why you are doing it and feel passionate about your reasons but at the same time you can feel hurt because someone just doesn't get it and what went into something. Great subject! ~Nikki
+Inspired by Nikki Life is like a tsunami, the only way to surf it is to not take it so seriously the high altitude, because you might fall when you look down and take your pride along with it, go with the wave and you will be fine.
Heartless not to care??? lol
Yesss Nikki, I agree! No one knows the journey we’ve been on and no one cares the hard work we took to get to where we are but others like to pick or give their opinion. For me I think it’s more pressure I put on myself. I’m an overachiever & perfectionist which really is not good bc it holds me back from fully jumping in bc of fear of what others “might” think but in fact I need to focus on who I can inspire & encourage not on the few that will be jealous or negative. 🌸Shannon
Very well said! I am focusing on that as well. For some reasons our minds automatically do that so it's all about training them not to.
Great video! It has taken me a while to get a thicker skin, I remember in school I was always worried about what people thought. Now I still care what people think, but I don't act differently because of those comments. =)
Shannon Torrens for me it was jr high!
Love this, Amy! I think it's also important that you are your own number one fan of your work. Know that if other people criticize your work, it's simply because your work is not for them. You will eventually attract the right audience who will appreciate what you do. :) Just keep on being the better version of yourself. :)
I love that you love Gretchen Rubin as much as I do! I'm a total upholder, with a questioner wing.
I know I'm late to this thread, but I also want to point out that I don't have a support system that I can talk to about what bothers me most of the time, so having content like this is a great thing for me. Thanks Amy, and all who participated in this thread.
You really spoke the truth in this one. I like your honesty about negative feedback. Perhaps most of us have difficulty taking correction unless it is given in a kind caring manner.
There's such a huge difference between criticism and constructive criticism. Whether it's "right" or not, how people approach offering criticism makes all the difference between whether I'll write them off or take them into consideration. And then, there's the fact that I'm my own greatest critic. I'm more critical of myself than any other person could possibly be. That also tempers what I'll take and what I'll leave. Great topic! 🙌
People want to cause chaos\doubt\distractions due to their own emptiness\jealousy\anxiety\fear. I try to keep my mind focused on the job at hand-continuing to provide quality work-and also pray for them. Like Dory says, “Just keep swimming...” If something really gets under my skin, I use the 5 second rule and then get back to work.
When you’re left hanging with an important project you’re not trained to do, working for free from home 10-12 hours a day just to keep up and teach yourself, then get criticized for getting it DONE last minute? Never been more angry.
I really liked your ranking system of how we choose who’s opinion matters to us and who is farther down the ladder. It makes sense. I also think it’s great to put yourself on top of the latter. Thanks for the inspiration!
This is so true! Sometimes, the person has your best interest, but sometimes they just have problems of their own that they're subconsciously unloading onto you. It's important to try to understand them, and let go. Thanks so much for these powerful messages! :)
this was the exact thing i needed to hear today, i end up hating people so much that it starts troubling me so much, i am thinking about those people all the time and keep practising phrases i am going to tell them next time, its just crazy
I really agree with the idea that somebody's experience level, relationship to us, the way they say it, etc. gives feedback much more weight. I've gotten good at ignoring the random comments.
I really, really need this. Thank you so much for everything you share with us, it means a lot to me, you have helped me to get out of a very dark place in my mind.
"The most important opinion is mine."
My opinion ^^, is that I think what Amy said there sums up the How To.
If we know our circumstances, values and motivations for the decisions we make then we should use those realities as security against criticism.
And, taking into consideration some people just "speak that way", it's better to have a default setting of assuming people have your best interest at heart when you're unsure.
To switch things around, if you're someone who wants to share an opinion, I think it's important not to expect a positive reaction towards your opinion or some type of validation because an opinion doesn't become validated when someone agrees with you. It's your opinion, own it.
I love the fact that you challenged yourself and talked about you don’t feel 100% comfortable with. Love your videos, they’ve helped me soooo muchh!!! ♥️
This video hit my notification at the best time. This has been something I've been dealing with over the last couple of days. Thank you!
Perfect!!
Omg you are gorgeous, like goals all the way around, skins glowing, hair is bouncy, light to no makeup. You are goals
I tend to care too much about what others think. I have ideas at work and my co-workers shut it down. Especially the ones that don’t seem to have opinions of their own. Put me down. I have too thin skin. You have great tips!
I hope they help Nancy!
Loved the bit in your book about how you deal with trolls - that definitely helped me deal with starting to get my first less-than-constructive criticism here. Still not easy! Thanks for being so human and reminding us how to do the same.
JDMB in CLE exactly me too.. love her book!
My rule is if you get a personal hate comment, block and delete. If you get a few constructive comments learn from it. If you get mostly bad comments, figure out what you did wrong, delete your video and start over.
That does work most of the time. Really with everything except targeted harassment because I've seen things get bad real quick when people send others to your video to make negative comments without watching the actual content.
Well, that's where you are allowed to turn off commenting and there you go.
You hit the nail on the head with PRETEND. I don't have much of a thick skin but I've gotten pretty damn good at faking it!
LOVE this, thank you Amy! I just read your book and honestly it is literally the best training for beginners on RUclips that i have come across. Thank you for such an incredible resource. I also just bought your camera and lens last week, the editing software will take some time to get used to lol but i'm excited about upgrading my camera, so far my entire channel was recorded on my smart phone or lap top (with a few audio issues here or there) anyway THANK YOU I appreciate it, your book is also how I found your channel. :)
This is a hard thing to tackle for me... but I'm working on it!
I came to know you because I am a new vlogger and my wife gave me your book for Christmas. Apparently, she thought you could help me improve. Well, the book is wonderful and it has helped greatly so thank you for that. I became curious and chased you down here. You are amazing. Your vlog is amazing. I am now a subscriber and a fan. What a gift you bring to the lives of your viewers. Thank you so much.
Hey Amy! I worry about comments that haven't even been made yet! I'm nervous about putting myself out there because of all the trolls that can't help but spread negativity wherever they go. But, having said that, your videos are really helping with my confidence. I'm starting to see things differently and I feel that I'm on the right road to getting the life that I want. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and insights with the rest of us. It really is making a difference for me!!
Tracey don't do that to yourself! Worrying gets us no where! I'm so glad to help.
I remember When I got my first personal, negative comment & I took it very offensively....
I gave in and said something back. I do believe I’ve gotten better, but I also understand that I’m only going to get more as I grow so this was really helpful, thank you Amy!
What if the opinions that put the most pain on you come from your own mother and someone whom you thought was a best friend? HSP here btw..so all of this hits home very hard. Thank you kindly for this video. 🙏
This is great advice. Most people know this thing, but a reminder like this video is always great. Thank you for this video.
I got the rudest harshest comment ever on Reddit (which was the first problem) and it attacked my motives, business, and my physical appearance. It was horrible and it really brought me down. But I realized this person didn't even take the time to watch my content and was basically unloading a lot of baggage on to me. It was so hard to hear but analysing the situation allowed for me to get some true perspective.
Reddit has some of the most disrespectful people and I think you are right, most of them are just unloading their baggage on other people. I believe the majority of active users there are unhappy, bitter, single males. I made the mistake of going there for some relationship advice a while back and got someone who just got so incredibly angry and cursed me out, saying they hope my bf cheats on me and I deserve all of that pain. Crazy and heartless stuff.
Hi Amy! If I had to choose something, I'd say receiving parenting advice from others is one area where I wish I had a thicker skin. I know everyone has a different approach to literally every topic/choice you make when raising your kids, and that we're all just trying our best to raise decent little humans, but it can be hard to keep the faith in your abilities as a parent when there's so many sources of input coming at you. I love your point about valuing the opinions of your top five, and using that to keep perspective on what feedback you choose to let influence or upset you - I'm definitely going to try putting that into action. Thanks for the great video!
I’ve never felt like a RUclipsr had my back more than your first comment on if there’s someone making you question this then you don’t like them. Thank you so much! I needed this because I am going through this with one of my best friends right now. ❤️
"Only people who are helping me get better may enter." I love that so much. Sometimes I get very nasty comments, more on my blog than on my youtube channel, from people basically telling me I don't know what I'm talking about. I've decided if they don't have anything online that indicates that they know better(and they never do), I'm not going to pay them any mind. That's what my logical mind says, but my emotional mind is like, "How could they say that? Where did I go wrong?" So yeah, this thick skin thing is hard.
Ummmm, seriously, you are pretty much the bomb. Thank you for all your information, I'm a creator as well just different contect. I appreciate your research, experience, insights, etc... Im about the same age as you, I GET YOU and relate a lot, how life changes after 30, (im going to be 31 lol) and in June 4th! very close to yours too,.... anyways you are awesome! muah xo
Your words can be so reassuring...and timely! Enjoying these vids while taking walks, even though I'm looking for jobs in a field totally unrelated to yours! I'm trying to evolve on this subject of not taking things personally. Thanks
Working a lot on this as an autistic with my therapist, Definetly trying my best more to not care what other people think of me and just be myself💪
Thanks Amy! I’ve just started my RUclips channel after watching your video where you said ‘just start. Stop making excuses and just start.’ So I did! I have two videos up, am in the inevitable stage of stressing 24/7 about views and subscribers, and my thick skin issue is I CANNOT bring myself to tell anyone besides my closest peeps about the channel to get it off ground zero because of what their opinion will be, or even their opinion of me asking for views. My skin is truly transparent 😂
People should have to undergo a mandatory mental evaluation before commenting on other people’s content.
Growing up I took pride in going my own way. I got good grades and when I started working I got praise for hard work & loyalty.
Clicks in school that didn’t want me or said unneeded comments to me rolled of me in my conviction I didn’t want to be like them anyway, that in ways I was better than them. Words could hurt but I could move on.
Pride in short got me through, of being myself no matter what. I might not be popular but at least I had this & that.
But in later years school & work got harder and I failed again & again.
I felt less proud, less tough skinned. I came to notice that my work ethics really didnt fit today’s society, viewed too ”stiff”, too honest.
And all that high-horsing in early teens left me feeling I lacked in social skills , that maybe you needed to conform more & be more shallow, trendy etc to make friends and I just don’t know how to. I overthink.
It is a hard earned lesson that if your confidence & self-value is connected to accomplishment, it is frail. And here I stand today, working on it day by day to change just enough to become my view on a better me without feeling like a big phony.
All critism I nowadays take too personally, not that i Ignore them but I rarely question them unless they are from my family. I hear compliments, positive things but I always expect a ”But...” of things I need to improve.
I’m a photographer and live by the adage, if you don’t want to be criticized don’t do anything new. Cheers Amy.
You are right, everyone has opinions, suggestions and differences with the way we do things, but, most of them do not understand or are even aware of the logical thinking and reasoning behind our decision making and have no clue of what our bigger picture is. Valuing opinions only from people that we prioritize is the one of the things that stops us from going insane or feeling hurt all the time coz of other people’s choices of words and the tone used to deliver the message.
One of the reasons I need thick skin: Every time someone finds out I’m going to homeschool my daughter, I instantly get the “homeschool kids end up with social problems” reaction. It makes me second guess my own decisions, even though I originally felt like it was the right thing to do.
I find homeschooling is wonderful. We need more parenting in this busy world. Parents as teachers of their kids are just amazing. You can really focus on the way your kid learns fastest. Schools don't have the resources to focus on individuality. We need more of that for sure 👍
I think this concept of a thick skin is critical for moving forward. I find I struggle with the possibility of letting people down rather than what they might say to me. So my skin doesn't need to be as thick as my resolve does in always trying to do what's best for me and those around me. Thanks for the real talk, Amy!
Good points, Meg! I'm glad you liked it!
Just picked up your book! I'm 10 mins into it and loving it already.
I don't do well with criticism either. It really is the way people say things when they're criticizing that bothers me most. Some people say things in a way where it's obvious they're trying to act like they are better than you in some way just to make themselves feel better. Those are usually the ones that I get angry at and am tempted to tell them off/defend myself. Then there are others who offer constructive criticism and are coming from a place of trying to help which is nice and all but in the end I'm always going to do what I want to do my way so I can continue to live an honest and more fulfilling life, so I really think they're just wasting their time.
So relevant to my work life right now. Thanks Amy
I really appreciated this. I am just about to launch a blog and I because I am a sensitive person it is going to be hard for me to read the negative comments and everything. But now I have a few tools under my belt to dealing with it. Thanks for that!
All my life I've been called stupid or called a dumba**. But my dad taught me "do what you go to do to survive" and that has pretty much become the motto for my life.
I love that "You do not like them!" too. You're my favourite new youtuber. I just subscribed!
I have to develop thick skin for a few parts of my life. 1. I need to have thick skin towards people who are falling out of my life. I made a huge change in my life (for the better for me) and I have lost tons of friends doing so. Tons. I need to figure out how to not let that bother me. I think on one hand, I'm better off because if they don't want to support me they were never my friends to begin with, but then I think, whats wrong with me? or I think was my life a lie before and these people really weren't my real friends after all. And the not knowing what they think of me or caring what they think of me. I go back and forth of not even caring to caring way too much. Thanks for the video. It has made me think more on this topic I didn't realize was holding me back and will allow me to work through something and move past it.
You are my soul sister, Amy! It felt like you were describing me when you talked about yourself on how you handle criticism. I could relate to what you were saying at so many levels. Totally agree that there is no right answer to this and it all depends on the person and context. Keep shining on in your videos - your content is so refreshing! Much love!!! ❤️
I'm very thankful for advice on the subject. I'm someone who criticism sticks to like trauma. I can remember things from YEARS ago when someone said something in a way that hurt and I'm still affected by it. Thick skin and resilience are two things I'm constantly developing. Doesn't seem to have an end but I'm definitely better now than well before years ago.
Hi Amy. I completely agree with you about other peoples opinions. If I had taken other peoples advice verses following what I knew to be right I would not have my own business now. Thanks for all the great videos.
I needed this. I've recently started to take my channel in a different direction and I've had some pushback. As a result I've read into and listened to every opinion thrown at me. Some days I feel like I have rhino skin and I can take it and most days I feel like Jell-O.
Your points on who's opinions (mine, then significant other, then family) has given me a focus now. Thank you for that.
Cheers!
When someone tells me something constructive and gives criticism that is trying to help me, then I think about it. It doesn't meant that I will follow their suggestion, but the other one has maybe made a point that makes the things that I do better.
When someone tells me something that is not constructive, that is mean, that is meant to hurt me then I try to take these steps. 1. Smile. 2. Say: Thank you for your comment. 3. Think: Fuck you. It doesn't matter if it is a troll on the internet or your boss (even bosses can be mean), I always try to take the high road. Someone who wants to bring others down doesn't have my respect.
I'm a woman who does RUclips vids about technology (Hak5), so I've constantly dealt with personal attacks just because of my gender. I developed a thick skin by surrounding myself with positive people who provide criticism constructively, and who will work WITH me rather than against. I also drew a line between whose feedback I consider. A RUclips comment from someone I've never met? Or a person I work with every day?
Holy moly you just changed a mindset, thankyou
So beautifully put Amy! I think I can be my biggest critic. I have homeschooled this year, but now I’m ready to start something new again. It seems like I have career ADD, but since becoming a Mom it’s even more all over the place.
Be Yourself , love Yourself Thankyou so much Amy (beautiful soul)
Super helpful 💗. Got some negative feedback from my number 2 recently. It has thrown me off but I’m trying to get back on track. I have still managed to upload videos on time which I’m really proud of because that means it didn’t throw me as far off track as it could have.
Super helpful for everyone of any age! Why is my "like" of your video not been registered? So appreciative of you and all you do!
I’m interviewing for an Executive Assistant position and am very much fighting my imposter syndrome. I know it’s going to be a huge challenge but praying my skin is thick enough to get me through
This has been a huge, many years long challenge for me. I am a naturally emotional person. So, even when I know better, and I try sooo sooo hard to not, I will sometimes burst into tears at the slightest provocation. I went to my husband one day in tears because someone sent me an anonymous Ask on Tumblr slamming me as a person because I write fantasy books. I should know already that anonymous (especially Tumblr) usually means Troll. But, they said such awful things and it really upset me. I had a reply ready to argue every single point they tried to make. But, Hubby got me calmed down, took my phone, and deleted my reply before I hit send. It helps to have people remind you to try and tough it out when you want to go cry. That's been the big thing for me.
Thanks a lot for this video! It was so important to hear what you say in the morning after a terrible night of self-doubts.
When I organize an event or have something coming up that I know is going to get "comments" directed at me, I first talk it all through with my co-workers I DO trust, so they can bring up points I may have missed & we improve it then. I then face the day of the event and after with a resolve that I did what I could do. If or when people challenge me on my choices, it's still annoying, but I've already thought it through as to the "WHY" I did such-and-such. It helps me feel more in control of my response!
Wow! Great points here that I haven't heard before, especially not taking everyone's opinions into account. Thanks Amy!
When you said the part about if these critics and if they are even putting in the effort themselves... oh my gosh, PING! PING! PING!
I'm just like, "Is this good information they are giving me? If so why aren't THEY using it? It's a tricky balance.
Thanks for being so vulnerable in your message here.
Can I just start by saying that I want to be you when I grow up. I have been watching your videos now for a few weeks. Inhaling you're content; it's simply amazing and you have helped me incredibly. I too am a huge Gary Vee fan as well and look to him as a mentor. The thick skin issue is the one thing holding me back from starting a vlog of my own. I know that people can be really mean and I wasn't really sure how I would handle that before I watched this video. I think your advice was great and has given my courage to go for it. Making a list of people whose opinions matter (my children's and mine being at the top, followed by family and my TARGET audience), put so much into perspective for me. It really is easy to be in the peanut gallery.
I absolutely love you. I wish you more and more infinite success, love and happiness. Keep Crushing It! ;)
Definitely working on this. Just dealt with a little criticism on my channel so this video was very helpful and encouraging. Thank you.
I love your videos! I discovered you just a few weeks ago and have put into practice all your advice and it has helped me so much. I felt so depressed then I found your videos and it has lighten my mood a lot more. Thank you for being you!!! 🙌🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💓💓
I love “I just don’t take the phone call”! 😂 That is exactly how I end up handling crap criticism. The shit that isn’t helping me, just making and asshole feel better around me when I’m doing well. Listening to you is like finally listening to my subconscious instead of shoving it aside so I can be professional.
Something I’ve learned is that some people just enjoy negativity and drama. I just wish I had the ability to learn to block these types of people out like people love to fabricate things twist and turn them and even stoop so low as to making a video or should I say videos about you.. idk Amy but to me that isn’t normal for someone to do and is basically just asking for attention especially when all you’ve done was help the person out. They turn around and try and stab you in the back.. it’s just sad and then we have some people that watch and see negativity and then just jump right on in without even having a clue as to the whole story and the truth idk about everyone else but this is something that makes me just sick idk maybe I was raised differently but that isn’t how things work in my mind atleat lol. BTW AMY I MADE A VIDEO thanking you for providing such an amazing book and it is such an amazing book I love it it’s on my self but I have your spine turned so I can always see it and the other books I have the spine turned around so it’s all white lol.. love that idea but I had to keep yours turned outwards bc I just love the colors and you 💕🤗
Love you Amy xoxo 💋 Nicole
Drama lovers are the worst! And OMG that's so nice! Thank you for the video! Love that spine strategy! lolol
Omg I totally relate with the thing about /how/ the person gives the message makes all the difference. And I also realized that I couldn't change that about the person.... seriously struggling with deciphering people's messages without getting offended by just the way they talk
I'm new to your channel and I'm so happy I subscribed as I'm enjoying so many of your videos when I have a few moments to spare. This one particularly interests me as even though I am in my middle age, developing a thick skin has been difficult, personally and professionally for me. I agree wholeheartedly about only really paying attention to the people that truly matter in your life...partner, parents etc. but another rule of thumb I now use that echos your advice is this; if the person relaying the criticism is someone you admire and has achieved much in the area you are working in/on, then listen with an open mind...understanding that the help they mean to offer may be clumsily expressed. If not, then just disregard. Trolls will be trolls in real life and on line. When they behave like that it is themselves they are poisoning, not you and any reasonable person hearing or reading them recognises this. In the end, they only damage themselves.
Thank you this is gold! Could you talk more about how not to take professional criticism personally like when my supervisor uses an accusatory tone to tell me I forgot to do something minor...? It makes me feel dumb when I know it’s just her way of telling me and I also need to learn better ways of responding to ensure her I’m not an idiot 🙈💕 Thank you Amy!!!
I’m happy to have found this video. Look up ‘highly sensitive person’, HSP. 20%of the population has it! It’s totally me. I’ve learned being sensitive is a gift. I’m still growing and learning how to cope when ppl are negative.
Thanks for this video. It is something I struggle with. Good to hear what works for you and what doesn't to add more tools to work on this area. The more I care for someone the greater the impact of their words affect me for good or ill.
I have very thin skin. Every single thing that is said that is said to me I take it personally. Its like one word impacts my self esteem. I hate that I'm that way. I have tried not taking criticism and other things personally. Thanks for the feedback! Will definitely try it out
I love your videos girl! They have changed my perspective so much💕
I'm starting my own youtube channel *spanish only... And I always knew the trolls and hate comments would eventually come.... but it happened WAY EARLIER than I expected. I'm not even at 500 suscribers and there's already a random person who has created several accounts just to fill my channel with DISLIKES and hate comments. I felt SO DOWN the first 3 weeks..... nowadays I just delete the comments, sadly I can't do much about the dislikes.... they look nasty, but I'm just trying to cope with them internally.
I feel like THIS is my time to develop a thicker skin.... Its not pretty... but I'm taking the best out of this situation.