The Hard Part Of Cancer - An Update
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- A chatty raw update; as I know so many of you have us in your thoughts so I wanted to quickly let you know how we are and that Naomi is still here and up for messages of support or advice on survivingsupportingsisterhood instagram. Sorry the thumbnail is so blurry - my computer screen smashed - maybe a sign as I close off and focus on what's ahead. We just don't know how this part goes - nobody does I don't think. My dream is for immunotherapy to kick in as chemotherapy isn't so useful - for a summer in the garden - for the days to turn to weeks to turn to months. xxx
As some people have seen I’m devastated that my beautiful and shining light of a sister died in hospice care. She was happy right until the end and when I feel I can I will update you all. The cancer itself was responding we felt to all the treatment including immunotherapy. Some parts were better, some parts were worse but it was potentially then a case of a few more months. However naomi got an infection and a lung clots and after a rough hospital visit; she didn’t feel she had long left. I’m processing slowly, grieving heavily and spending all my time with family. I love her so so so incredibly and am so grateful for the bond we have. I will have half term with family and next week I really think it’s fitting to let you know how end of life care went; as it’s true to say we had no idea what to expect and she was honest in sharing the content we’d have needed and it was honestly the most happy few weeks and days. Thanks for being our rocks and allies; xxxxx
Sending love, may Naomi be resting in peace 🤍🙏
I'm so sorry. I work in end of life care in the community for the NHS. I see first hand how much love and laughter can be had even in the darkest times. xx
My deepest condolences
💜🙏💜 Thinking of you,and your loved ones. 🌹💔❤️
So sorry for the loss of your beautiful sister, may she rest in peace. Remember all those lovely memories.
I walked this nightmare in September 2022 when I lost my daughter to colon cancer. We only had a month from start to finish. This is the hardest road to ever walk. Stay on those antidepressants. They help with sleep, nausea, panic. Be very kind to yourself. You don’t think you will survive this, but you will. Prayers for you and family
Bless you Edith 🙏🏻
I am so sorry for your loss🙏🇮🇪
So sorry Edith to lose a child of any age is not how we expect things to go .
So sorry for your loss Edith. Sending you a hug.❤️
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We always want an update because we care... but never until you are ready.
My friend wrote letters to her then 9 year old son to be given to him at different stages of his life. 18th, wedding day etc. Each letter contained some life lessons she wanted to pass on to him. ❤🤗
When you are beginning to feel panic coming on sit down, concentrate on 4 things you can hear; 4 things you can see: 4 things you can touch or are touching you; keep in touch with your grounding, by moving your feet on the floor. These things bring you back to the present, and give you a sense of control over the panic. Breathe deeply and don't hold your breath or take shallow breaths. Think of it like smelling a rose, and blowing a candle out. This will calm you down. Good Luck, and best wishes for your sister. PTSD and panic survivor.
“Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love. ” 1Cor 13:13 Bless you all, praying this time is full of grace. xxx
The fear you are feeling is understandable. To face the loss of your sister is unbearable. I am sending you love and hope. Xx
My mum cared for her sister at the end of her life - and she was there all the time towards the end whilst I was a similar age to your oldest. Please don't worry about making the right decision for your children, it's a blur in my memory, and I have a lifetime of memories with my mum - but for my mum she got to be there when it mattered most for her. Showing endless, compassionate love for your sister is the best lesson you could teach them. Sending you so much love, you are such a powerhouse ❤
The best advice I was given in a situation like this is if you can't cope day to day, try hour to hour, minute to minute or second to second to try to get through. I'm sure everyone will be praying for you all. Stay strong 🙏x
I lost my only sister to an aggressive cancer 6 years ago and my world will never be there same. The grief was and still is u bearable. Time helps but the grief honestly never goes away. The last few weeks of her life were really bad and the suffering she endured was horrible. I miss her everyday. My heart goes out to you and being there for your sis is the best you can do. Sending love to you and your sis. ❤️
I’m so sorry Jayden; it just seems like an impossible person to see in so much pain. I’ve been spending a lot of time looking at photos from before cancer; it’s getting me through x
What your feeling is called anticipatory grief ❤ Just take it minute by minute and hour by hour. Make sure your your taking time to take care of yourself. Even if its just 5 minutes to take some deep breaths or listen to a song you love. I'm so sorry your going through this ❤ Remember it's okay not to be ok. It's ok to break down and cry and feel angry, sad, whatever your feeling 💔
One thing I have found very helpful with all the loss I have had in my life with losing my grandparents, my father, my mother, brothers and a sister is when they pass I always run myself a lovely warm bath with aromatherapy oil, and I play relaxing music on, and I allow myself to cry and let out all my emotions and I Invision all my stress seeping out into the water and then when I release the plug from my bath, I imagine all of the stress, anguish and heartache goes down the drain with my bath water and then when I get out I always feel lighter it’s been one thing that’s helped me through with all of the lost I’ve had to deal with in my life. I hope this helps you even if it’s in a small way every little bit helps. Sending you and your beautiful family all my love and prayers your way ❤
You are the loveliest kindest sister anyone could ever wish for. Your love and support is immeasurable. I hope you are getting lots of support. Sending lots of love to you all 💗💗💗xxx
Amen.
I agree.
I lost my Mom to cancer a year ago. My Mom was my person. My Mom stayed at home with hospice and hospice are literally angels. This time is so precious. I remember that feeling of needing to be in a cocoon. I remember feeling like I was in a daze and that I could sleep forever. I was emotionally exhausted. This is probably one of the hardest things you will experience. Selfcare is so so so important. And not just not having an appetite, but remembering to eat, because you will just downright forget. This is the time in your life to go through something difficult and it is okay to do it in whatever safe way you need. I love the idea of a garden. Some projects to help everyone be in the moment together is great. In this time gather any information that you think you will need such as recipes of your sisters that you love or idk, for me since my Mom always reminded me of family member's birthdates all of the time I had her go through them with me as I wrote them down. Talk about fun times and memories, her wishes, get her some of her favorite meals if she has a good appetite. On the harder days, having some shared favorite movies on hand were nice and comforting. Your doing the right thing of offloading some of your Mom tasks, take as much off your plate as you possibly can. I know it is even a hard thing to think about and it doesn't sound like you all are quite there, but when my Mom passed it was my absolute first experience with that process with hospice and at home, and even though I didn't want to do it, as recommended by one of our hospice nurses I read up on the stages of dying. I know everything in your body will reject and hate the idea of doing that, but it really helped me know where my Mom was at in the process which helped me be there for her in the way she needed. I had no idea what to expect and I had a lot of anxiety toward how it was all going to go down as well. I was afraid that being at home there would be a lack of medical intervention if needed, I just had a lot of fears of my Mom's own experience especially since my Mom had some breathing issues due to her cancer and had prior had surgery to remove some cancer that was in her esophogus, but with everything she had going on, there was nothing violent about the process at all. It went incredibly peacefully. I think having that info at the time would have helped me some. I've watched all your videos with your sister, she seems like she is the absolute sweetest person and you both are so lucky to have eachother. I will keep you and your sister in my thoughts.
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You were there for your dear Mom. I know it was scary. I did it one year ago too. But it turned out it was peaceful. The hospice caregivers helped prepare us and took our fears away gently. You did not know how strong you really are until you get through it. Blessings to you.
I can perfectly understand how you feel... I've lost my older sister one year ago to pancreatic cancer in just five months from the diagnosis. We knew ever since that she didn't stand a chance. It was devastating... But I promised myself to not let her see how much desperate we were. I never cried in front of her, nor let myself got emotional. She always said we were her strength and we actually were, till the end. I know it's not easy, not at all...but smiling people, encouraging people sorrounding them, is what ill people need the most. They desperately need HOPE, even if they believe they have none. Stay strong, for her, for you, and your whole family. ❤
very sorry for your loss ❤
My heart is breaking for you and Naomi. Jesus is near to her and my prayer is that she knows him as her lord and savior and draws near to him through this process for comfort, strength, and peace. Sending hugs and love from across the pond 💛
After being with my mom when she died I can say leave nothing unsaid and be kind to yourself, let yourself feel what you need to. Take some time for you too. It is so stressful caring for a sick person
I HATE cancer. Those final weeks and days are so terrifying and draining. Hugs and love to all of you.
SJ This situation is just awful. I am sorry for you all. My mum has cancer and is currently in a hospice. It’s heartbreaking and devastating. My love is with all of you xxx
My love is with you too x
@@SJ_Strum 🤗
rest in peace Naomi 💗🕊
I lost my mother to breast cancer. She was 44. My heart goes out to you. It takes a long time to feel slightly better but it will always be a part of you. Your loss is shared by so many or us who have struggled with the same unfair situation, but you’re not alone and your family is with you. Stay close to each other, grieve together, and create new memories together as often as possible.
Oh SJ, as a sister, mother and daughter this just absolutely breaks my heart. You are such a wonderful support to your sister, thinking of you all ❤
When i was dealing with my SA related trauma, one thing that helped me through anxiety and scary thoughts was...embroidery and coloring books. Seems silly but it gives your brain a break by letting it focus on manual, easy, repetitive work. Sending so so so much love.
‘Aiming for Love’ is perfect 💗🙏🏻 and all of my love is with you all beautiful xxx
My heart goes out to you, your beautiful sister and family. I walked in your shoes over 40 years ago when I lost my dear Mum when I was 20. I am 64 now and to this day she walks with me wherever I go, memories and their love will never leave your side. I still have my moments and spray Mums perfume to bring back a smile on bad day's. They never leave and never will, you carry them through your own life's journey. Your strength and sharing is a beautiful gift you have and you should be very proud of that popett. xxx
SJ you are so strong, kind and loving. thank you for showing us how to be so dignified and inspiring in such a difficult time. This journey you have documented will be so helpful to others going through similar for years to come. thank you for being so open with us. sending all the love.
On a practical level - on the days you feel well, cook and shop ahead and makes lists you can tick off. This can give you control when everything is out of control. Love to you and your sister ❤ xx
Sending every ounce of love over to you. I wish I had magic words but all I've got is that I love you and that I'm here. Just when you don't think you have any more strength in you, you'll find some, you'll be alright
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Love and strength is the best and only thing you can send .. lovely words ❤
Thank you Louise; you’ve been sent to help us in this I’m sure xxxxx
I may only be a comment in an app but you and your family have been in my mind since you posted this video, sending lots of love to you all xx
Rip to your beautiful sister. Your bond was magical.
How do you know Sisters died
When I lost my darling brother at the age of 42 the one thing that became crystal clear during the several times we were told his life was coming to a close was the desire to let him know he was dearly loved. I still miss him dreadfully and have since lost my mum and my dad. Now it’s just me. Love carries on eternally. God bless you and your family x
i just went thru this with mom - it is scary to do home hospice ie you are basically asked to be a nurse/dr/aide with no training during the most intense period of your loved ones life BUT its also so beautiful to have them home and not have to visit them in a hospital - you are always with them and my mom ended up passing away next to me in the middle of the night while we both slept - i woke up and she was gone.....its so so hard to lose our loved ones and this hospice phase is our last goodbye - it does end and it still comes as a shock....my mom died 6 weeks ago...god bless you ps i also had panic and depression so i know how that part feels as well..im so sorry....now its intense grief...
I hope your grief is manageable; it’s such a pain and I’m thinking now of it as love reframed. I hope I feel that expansive love - it’s all we can cling to. Thinking of you and sending so much support your way x
@@SJ_Strum you will cry everytime you think of your loved one and you will remember the caregiving and your love for them in their most difficult days ...its bittersweet......intense grief in the end is the price for intense love.....im only 2 months into my grief but i hear it gets better - we will see - for now the tears flow and the heartache is there but in a way it makes me feel closer to my mom.....i pray that you and your sister find peace in the days ahead...
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I lost my sister to cancer when I was 15. I actually named my daughter after her years later, when I was having my own children. Give yourself grace, it takes time. It gets better with time. I just focus on the fact that someday I’ll see her again. God bless❤
Oh no I don’t know what happened, could you let me know please,❤
Hi SJ, I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through. Practical nausea advice: smell an alcohol wipe, it takes it away instantly. I know its an ongoing thing with everything you’re going through but it might help for a few minutes Keeping you, your sister, and family in my prayers.
SJ, I am completely blown away by the dignified, calm and positive way you have all approached this horrendous ordeal. I only hope that in your position I could carry myself in the same way. Sending all my love, hope and prayers to you, Naomi and the whole family. ❤
Having been through this, just losing my sister in the last few months, whom I loved so much, to cancer and being her only caretaker, your plan to just try to get through with love is the right plan. There is no other working plan than that. It is so unpredictable for each person; you have chosen the right path as there really isn't any other. My heart is with you.
Oh SJ, my heart breaks for you all. You are always on my mind. You speak so beautifully in this video and Naomi is so lucky to have you by her side. My Dad passed away suddenly 3 weeks ago and then my younger brother was diagnosed with cancer a week ago. I am so scared of what the future holds and am going through that same experience of waking up and instantly being hit by anxiety, panic, upset, not feeling strong enough to cope. Similar to you I am getting through each day just by setting myself a simple goal...something just to get me out of bed. Sometimes it's just something like replying to a message because most of the time that just feels too overwhelming. I wish I had some practical advice for you but I just want to send you all the love and strength I can xx
i’m so sorry for your loss and your brothers diagnosis, sending huge hugs! ❤
Oh, dear. So terribly, terribly hard.❤❤❤
Hi SJ, I’ve been watching you for years and I just want to say that watching you through this journey has been very significant for me. My grandma passed away from cancer in September and she was my whole life. She loved gardening and I think it’s so beautiful that naomi is making this garden. I think of my grandma whenever I see a garden. It’s a wonderful feeling. I wish you all the best, I don’t have many tips for you other than be there (which I know you’re doing ofc). I’m keeping you in my thoughts ❤️
Thank you Avery; I’m so sorry you’ve been through this but happy to hear about the garden - I’m sure it’s the right time to do it xxx
I can't say I have any words of wisdom for you, but you, Naomi, and your whole family have my love and prayers.
A few months ago when I found out my mother has 4th stage of lung cancer I bumped into your videos. And I found them calming, cheerful in a special way, because they were full of hope and love - they were not depressed or devastating - they were sad but they gave me hope and strength at the same time, and they thought me how to accept the facts snd fight with the cards that we have. I'm truly sorry for your loss and I'm sending you lots of love. Thanks to you and your sister for sharing every second of your journey, fight, sad and happy moments. P.S. My mom is still alive thanks God, going through immunotherapy and we're trying to live every moment together, whatever time there's left. I still believe that there's hope that immunotherapy is going to save her. You can never be ready for such loss, losing a loved person. Give yourself time that you need and feel the love of your family and support that you all give to one another. ❤
Anyone who is lucky enough to know you would be exceptionally proud of you. I’m not big on words but just wanted to say: you are truly, truly lovely 💜
A prayer for you, Naomi, and your family:
Dear God,
I know that you are watching over Naomi, SJ, and their family during this difficult time. But I pray that you make your presence known by giving them the most divine sense of peace that only you can provide. I pray for Naomi’s support system. Give them strength to support her in the best possible way. Please be with her sweet daughters, Summer and Lottie. Help them to soak up every single moment with their mom, and comfort them in their moments of grief. Be with her husband Lee, as it must be so difficult to watch his best friend suffer the way Naomi has. Give him strength as well, and comfort him at every step. I also pray for SJ, another best friend to Naomi. I can tell just how much she loves her sister. I pray for peace and comfort and strength for her, as well as her parents and they care for Naomi full time. Thank you God for watching over this family. Please continue to provide for them, protect them, and guide them. And please show them just how much you love each and every one of them. In your holy name I pray, Amen. 🙏🏼
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Amen, God bless them all, in Jesus' name.
Amen ❤
Amen 🙏💛
Amen. Beautifully said.
Oh SJ🥺 my mum and I went through this process when my dad was terminally ill in 2021. The one thing we learnt is how important it is to look after YOURSELF throughout all of this. The best position you can be in to be there for her is to start by being there for yourself, and that can be the hardest part! Do what you need to do to keep yourself ticking through, even small things help. There’s no easy way, and no right decisions but as you said, all she needs is for you to be there. You’re working wonders even though it doesn’t feel like it! Don’t ever be hard on yourself for grieving. Grief starts before death, but use it to give her all the love that you can give x
Love and prayers to you all.... my husband lost his sister to cancer. What you said about not aiming for peace or hope but just to aim for love is such a wonderful, insightful sentiment. Our hearts felling your pain in this journey, love from Australia❤
I cared for my mum, with all my family when she was ill. I don’t have any practical advice but I know all your feelings, I had all those too and it’s not easy. Looking back the best thing we as a family ever did was just taking care of her and supporting each other. Letting other things slide to just have time with my mum was all worth it now for the memories I have to look back on. Sending love, comfort and prays for you all. I’m really sorry for you all xxx
You're more amazing than you realise. Trying to describe how you are bracing yourself for the loss of your darling sister for us will be helping so many people who are also in your situation. The grace and dignity you are showing is profound.
I love the poem 'Darling' by Jackie Kay - it reminds us that our loved one is with us until we go, as your sister will always be with you. Offering pure love is the very best anyone can do - bravo girl, bravo xxxx
Going through this journey with my sister right now. Being strong for them is great but for you it is okay to cry, feel lost and helpless at times. We need all of these emotions to get through. You cannot do any more than you have. You must take care of yourself too, mentally and physically for you, your sister and your family❤
Practically ... Batch cook food. Ready in the freezer. Any books/painting/journalling to help give your brain a break. Bulk buy shopping.. especially the basics or arrange deliveries far in advance.
For you and your sister. Talk and listen to music.
Remember to shower,eat,water and sleep are the basics to look after yourself so you can be there for your sister. Xxx ❤❤❤
I lost my mother in December and my grandfather in January of last year and I found writing letters to them really helped(even when they were alive and sick). This helped me get a grasp on all the big feelings that were always there. All the love to Naomi, you and your family,
You and your sister are the true definition of bravery! Please never ever forget that, no matter what the future holds.
- From a stranger, sending you all of my love and well wishes.
You are doing everything you need to be doing to make sure you and your sister have the best days today and tomorrow and on and on. Your grief is bubbling to the surface we can see that. It’s who you are. Caring and nurturing and loving. I’m not going to say stay strong. Just stay ‘you’.
Hi SJ. I'm so terribly sorry for your sister and that you have to go through this terrible terrible thing with her. I recently went through this with my very close family friend who was like a second father to me. I served as his sole caregiver and went through chemo and radiation with him, and it just wasn't working , and he eventually decided to stop and bring in hospice. As much as the both of us were aware of his fate, and knew that he would soon leave us, nothing ever prepared me for when he finally passed away. No matter how prepared I felt, it still felt so sudden and like a shock to my system. I didn't know that it was even possible to cry that much. Stay strong. You have you're fantastic supportive family with you, and you will all lean on one another through this difficult time, and that, is a blessing. Spend as much time as you possibly can with her, and just shower her with as much love as is in your heart. I wish I could take all of this pain from you and heal your sister. I don't know you personally, but I am sending you all of my love, and virtual hugs. I still have those dark thoughts you spoke of, it's a process even 6 months after he has passed. You said you don't know how you will get through it, I didn't either and I still don't, but somehow, by the grace of god, it happens. As one human to another, I love you, SJ, and I am sending your sister, yourself and your family all the peace in the world. I will be praying for you all every day. Here for you virtually through this process. 💚🙏💚
Sending you the hugest amount of love and strength. Take time out when you need to - a good cry in the garden is everything. You can't control much here and that's okay. Take the pills, find the small fragments of comfort, look out for the piercing painful beauty that still exists - despite it feeling though the world is ending. Thinking of you all ❤️
If you need permission to take a more permanent break. Even a few months. Here is your permission. Do that. Enjoy the moments you have been granted❤. Everyone will be waiting here when the time is right. Keeping you and your family close to my heart.
Oh SJ. Sending so much love. I appreciate how you worded that, we’re not aiming for peace or hope, just love. Your sister and you bring such light to the world and I hope to send you that same light through these tough times right now.
So sorry that Naomi and your families are going through this but you are so strong and Naomi has been amazing ❤️ I cared for my mother as she had MND and throughout her care and when she sadly passed away I was prescribed Mirtazapine to get me through, they increase your appetite and help with sleep so may help you? If Naomi feels up to it you could suggest making small videos for her girls for their birthdays etc.. and / or write birthday & Xmas cards out for them with special messages for each year? Am thinking of you all and praying 🙏 Am sending you all so much love MASSIVE hugs xxx
I absolutely love this idea! ❤
Sending you and your family so much love ❤️❤️❤️ I found listening to light hearted audiobooks like Harry Potter helped me cope when my mum was unwell. Thinking of you all 🥰
Aiming for love stood out of this video to me so much. The love you have for your sister and your family and also the love we are all sending your way. Thinking of you all ❤
I just want to send Naomi, you and your family all my love. You are being a wonderful sister, and I’m sure your sister is very grateful to have you by her side. I wish you all the best and I hope you’ll share beautiful, sunny days in the garden soon 🙏🏻 Take care ❤️
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I've been in a similar situation, my advice- let your hubby organise your household and spend as much time with your beloved sister as you can, it's a precious, and very special time ❤
Sending you, your family and Naomi so much love. Listening to you, it sounds like you, Lee and Naomi have a lot of knowledge around what you need. It sounds like you are very aware of your personal needs as you go through this incredibly difficult time in your life. Everything that you are saying makes perfect sense. Cups of tea, time in the morning, ready meals, a garden, cocooning with those closest to you. All of those things are important. Our hearts are with you.
I just discovered your channel and I can’t tell you how much I feel for you and your family. Being an oncology nurse of 23 years I urge you to take care of yourself. Find a good psychiatrist or counselor. You need to talk to someone outside your family where you can share the thoughts and feelings that you won’t even admit to yourself. Go out for walks, no matter how much work is left at home. Grab your shoes and jacket and just walk. Sit on the soil, touch the earth and let it run through your fingers while wind and sun hit your face. You need space and silence. Don’t be afraid to be by yourself and with your thoughts. This is not a road for the faint of heart. You will get hurt in more ways than one. You want to take away the disease but you can’t. Feelings helpless will make you feel vulnerable too. Life has stopped when your sister got diagnosed. Everyone around you has been in a constant state of fear and worry ever since including you. All I can say is whatever helps you to feel even a tiny bit better do it! Our hearts and prayers are with you and your family. Hod bless you.
I want to send you a big hug. I am so sorry your sister and your family are going through this horrific trauma. Cancer is cruel and unforgiving. We lost my husbands mum to bowel and liver cancer 2 years ago. She was so unwell at the end, and we felt hopeless. You can not help make her feel better, but you will be there to listen and support her. You're stronger than you know, and being there for each other will help her. There is no one size fits all. We all deal with grief in our own way, and it's OK to be angry, sad, and feel helpless. To cry and to just be. Don't bottle up feeling, go with how you feel and take any support offered to you. Delegate, and take counselling. It helps. Rest and make sure you eat. You need energy and strength. Take lovely hot baths with essential oils and cosy in bed with a good book. Make memories with her, and never forget we are here to listen. Prayers and love to all of you. ❤❤
My sister passed of ovarian cancer and so did my mother. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 months after my mother passed away. Antidepressants saved my life after I went through 1.5 years of cancer treatment. There is no playbook to get through these life events. Take it one day at a time and more importantly take care of yourself as your family will need you.
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Omg how much for one person to cope with.
@@nickywilks7928 I just learned that I have a mass in my lung. Going for biopsy tomorrow. I am at peace.
You have been so brave sharing all this. I am a identical. twin as well. That is always one of my biggest fears is living without her. I am sending you all lots of love.
Thank you for the update on your precious sister ~ she’s so lucky to have you. 🌺
Ask your sister what good memories she wants you to remember and go over those together. It will create new memories to enjoy and add meaningful layers to the ones you already have. Peaceful blessings to you all. It's just hard.
This made me cry. My sister died in 2020 in an accident and we had to turn off the life support. Hardest thing we’ve ever done, i wasnt sure how I would ever go on but you do. I wish I had some profound advice but I dont, just keep loving each other and just be kind to yourselves. Sending love and strength xx
Oh SJ, sending you and Naomi and your families all the love across the pond. I think you have the right idea - “aiming for love”. I lost my brother in late 2021 and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through. The only thing that has helped is time, and knowing how much we always loved one another. I have no regrets, and nothing, not even death can take away the love. Thank you for updating us, will be praying you all find some peace. I am so sorry for all you have had to endure.
I lost my Mom and Sister unexpectedly in January 2008 15 days apart both unexpectedly. The only thing that helped me was turning to God through prayer. I'm a Christian
I just lost my only Son unexpectedly and I'm sick mentally and physically. I have 4 daughters and grandchildren.
Praying, being with people who bring you peace helps
Knowing that God made a plan for us all to live eternally through Jesus is literally the only thing that matters.
I'm so sorry. 😢 My prayers for your peace and healing. God is the answer to our pain. He is always with us and will never leave us...EVER. Blessings+ ❤🙏
Thinking of you and Naomi and your whole family. Sending lots of love and praying for lots of warm, beautiful weather soon for you all to enjoy.
I had a friend who always reminded me to breathe. As silly as it sounded to me it got me on the path of daily meditation in gratitude. Sending you, your sister and family much love.❤
I’ve been thinking about you both and pray for comfort, love and sunny days together as you’re finding your way through this difficult time. And yes, please take care of yourself (find time for yourself, easy meals to make sure you eat) because it’s so easy to not take care of yourself when you’re caring for someone and going through such difficult emotions. I’m sending so much love to you all. 💜
SJ, I've been following you since I was a child and I've always loved your calm energy and have seen you as a role model. Naomi, you and your family are always in my prayers. The light is so hard to see but one day you will be happy again that I know. Sending you, Naomi and your family all my love. xx
Thinking and praying for you and Naomi. I lost my grandfather last May after a prolonged battle with blood clots. I ran in to the nausea as well. I found mint products to be really helpful. Melatonin really helped me sleep. You and your sistet are so beautiful inside and out. I'll be praying for many sunny beautiful days with Naomi and her girls in the garden.
I am 7 years on from this part of the journey. You are so strong SJ. My advice would be to as hard as it seems some mornings and you just think how am I going to do this, do one thing for your body, one thing for your mind and one thing for others. Even if that’s just eating a piece of fruit or going for a five minute walk outside on your own. I know you will cherish every second together, but my biggest advice would be to talk about all the good times together and funny stories so you can all share a laugh whilst Naomi can laugh with you. I miss that the most. ❤️ sending all the love in the world
Yes I will do this; thank you joy x
I'm sorry for your Sisters sickness and how hard it is. She is blessed to have you as a sister
I lost my Mum in November 2019 to Pancreatic cancer. It one of the top 5 quickest cancer to kill. All i can say is… dont EVER give up hope, even when you think all hope is gone. Keep positive and keep the faith until the very last breath. Xx
Hi SJ. I totally undertand. I am 60 now. I lost my dad 21 years ago, mum 19 years ago and eldest sister 17 years ago (she was 56 and died suddenly on Xmas Eve). Just breathe, know that love IS the answer. Numbness is normal, I couldn't even feel. All the time there is life ❤️. Talk when you can, don't over think. This is all the bigger picture of life and I know (my mum came to me on the day of her funeral) there is a bigger life. Sending love and light and you Will breathe in and out and get through. Love Julie. X
Your honesty and grace is incredible. Other people will benefit from your honesty, they will feel less alone. Wishing you love and light. Allow others to carry you the way you are carrying others. You don't have to be the strong, useful one at all times. When you do care for her, know your care is your very best wishes and effort, and that's the most amazing thing to be able to offer. ❤❤❤
Naomi and SJ, you are such sweet sisters. I know because I have and love one too. Even when we reside across the planet, we know each other, often through our dreams. Even as you pass across this material plane, I believe there surely is a new horizon beyond, and your connection will persist. Planting those memories and watering your garden is such a special way to honor your family’s connections. You might consider naming those trees you plant 💞 sending you so much love and hopes for a peaceful transcendence 🦋
nothing, not time or space or distance or death can break a family bond ❤ they will ALWAYS be with you. it’s just incredibly difficult losing someone’s physical form and not being able to materially feel/hear/see them, but that doesn’t mean the connection is broken ❤
I also lost my sister to cancer Naomi after years of the treatments and i can only say that you are doing all the right things. YOU need to stay well too and the simple things like a cup of tea are the best!! Its so hard i know and some days i felt i could not go on without her but you do my love. We find a way. sending all my love to you and your family. xxx
i was with my mother through her illness and going through active dying. It is difficult to say the least. One thing you can do to prepare yourself is to view some of the videos on active dying. The body goes through many changes as it is shutting down. Some of the changes can be scary, if you are not prepared. I made sure my mother was comfortable at the end and she passed very peacefully. I lost my oldest sister and her death was completely different. She had a massive heart attack and passed the next day. Life has it's ups and downs and it sounds like you are doing the right things to help yourself and your sister. It is very difficult losing family members, but time does give you a chance to grieve and heal. I will pray for your family. I am sending you a virtual hug.
I will; thank you for the advice x
Sj, you are amazing. Naomi is so blessed to have such a wonderful sister and her strength through this diagnosis shines through to us all. I walked this path and it’s most definitely a difficult one and all emotions and feelings are so normal. My dad passed away in January from cancer we had around a month from diagnosis to his passing it’s so very tough but please be kind to yourself. Sending you and your family all the love you need ❤❤❤❤
You are both dealt with this impossible situation with so much love. I am so glad Naomi has you. Thank you both for showing how much can be achieved with love. I am sending you both love too ❤ xxx love you both xx
We don't ever know how, we just do what each moment requires. Keep that in mind on the hardest days. Navigating this process is hard and we can do is our best, every step ❤
Thinking of you and your sister and keeping you in my thoughts and heart.
I just read your news on Instagram. I'm so incredibly sorry for the loss of your beloved sister.
Your sister, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you love and hugs💕
SJ,. I am so sorry. This is the hardest and scariest part of the journey. You'll feel like this is impossible, but you will get through this. Emotions will be all over the place, but try to appreciate any small fleeting joys that may occur. I'll pray for you and Naomi and the entire family
Go gently and lean into love. We will all just sit with you in these moments ❤
Sending you, Naomi and the whole family so much love ❤
You’re both in my thoughts and prayers and sending all my love & hugs 🙏🏻🤗❤️
Prayers for your family. I lost my mum to cancer in 2020 and would give anything to have another day with her in her garden. Enjoy your time together. Sending so much love 💕
I’m thinking of you so much and holding your family close to my heart.
We lost my uncle this past October to squamous cell carcinoma. I was lucky enough to be very present during his last year, his time in hospice, the time after he passed, his funeral. There’s no easy way through it as you know.
It has slowly started to get easier. Never easy, but easier. My connection with him is as strong now as it ever was. My relationship with him continues. I feel him everywhere. Your sister will always be with you, in you, through you, around you, loved by you, loving you, and you are spot on…focusing on love is all you can do. That love will sustain you and your sister will forever live on through it.
One thing that has helped me is seeing patterns since my uncle died. I’ve been seeing rainbows constantly, and for me those rainbows are him. When I see a rainbow I smile to myself and thank him for continuing to check up on me.
You are such a beautiful person SJ. With you always.
Thank you for this update…. We have all been thinking of your whole family. What an absolute blessing of a relationship you have with your sister ❤. You are doing so much and with all the strength you’ve got….don’t forget to give yourself some grace. I pray you and Naomi have many more days enjoying the warm sun in her garden.
It's so so difficult, went through it with my own family, you're right she's better off at home, as much as the hospice tries to prevent the spread of any infections she will still be more prone in there, sending hope, thoughts and prayers for your beautiful sister ❤️🙏you're staying so strong sj 💪 the anxiety and fear of what's going to happen her is very hard to deal with I've been there it's not easy at all, take care of yourself and each other ❤
I have just found your channel and am completely heartbroken for you all. Sending you much love and strength from Australia. 💐💕
First off, forgive me if any of my points are addressed in the rest of the video, I had to pause it to cry, calm myself down, and respond while I could organize my thoughts.
Although no mere words can alleviate the pain, just know there are thousands of people out here, that you and your sister have touched, that are holding space for you all.
I’m so glad you recognized that you were suffering and have taken steps to help yourself in a very solid way. Self-awareness is our most powerful tool in dealing with stress and trauma.
I agree with another commenter that at some point, having a hospice nurse there at the house with you could be really helpful. Even if she’s not necessarily there for Naomi, but for the rest of you. Having someone there with knowledge of all the various processes can bring a sense of security and peace. It did for my family.
And lastly, and perhaps you’ve done this already, has Naomi made videos or written the children any notes to open in the future? That would be an amazing gift to them as time goes on. Graduations, first dates, prom, Sweet 16, getting a drivers license, all the way through weddings and children of their own. If she has the strength, what a beautiful legacy she could leave behind, other than their presence on this Earth and the indelible love she leaves with you all. Sending peace and strength ❤️❤️
My sister is just at the start of this journey and I already feel like you most days, it is terrifying. Lovely Naomi is so sweet and caring , no one deserve this cruel disease. Love, hugs and peaceful vibes to all your family but still have hope in your hearts 💕
Sending you lots of love and strength ❤
My daughter has panic attacks, she has been recommended EFT (tapping) by a psychologist, also square breathing.
Parenting through grief/trauma is hard, ask your doctor to refer you for CBT or look up social prescribers in your area and they’ll be able to recommend support near you
Wonderfully articulate and sincere. Sorry for your pain.