How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Sexual Betrayal (FULL EPISODE)
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- Sexual betrayal is one of the most devastating things a person can experience. Though struggling spouses are not primarily out to hurt their husband/wife, sexual brokenness brings immense amounts of pain and trauma into a marriage. As an addict or struggler, is it possible to help our spouse heal from the pain we’ve caused? Is there anything we can do to help in the healing process? On today’s episode, we explore what an addicted/struggling spouse can do (if anything) to help their spouse heal from sexual betrayal.
The betrayer has known about the secret all along, whether it was going on for a year or 15 years. How can a betrayed spouse be expected to process that information quickly once it finally comes out? The betrayer needs to accept that there are consequences for their actions. They are the ones that brought porn into the marriage and created the mess and, let's be honest, enjoyed all that porn on top of everything. It's disgusting to expect the betrayed partner to just accept it all and forgive immediately to take the pressure off of the betrayer.
In my experience is that they want to make you better or want yoi to hurry up and heal because they see your sadness, anger, and other emotions as a consequence and they don't want to admit that damage was done by them and there are consequences
What if the spouse that betrayed you doesn't want you to get counseling or help?
@@andreamorse1679 Listen to their concerns, but in the end, get the support you need.
Can confirm
I’m just now finding this podcast and it is very helpful. However, I don’t think the betrayed ever needs permission from the betrayer to speak to someone/anyone. Unfortunately, they lost that right/privilege when they made the very conscious decision to cheat.
I would have preferred him being unfaithful to have been out of spite and to hurt me rather than his overwhelming desire for someone else.
Very helpful topic, and especially so with Heather. As a man, I always benefit from hearing a woman's perspective and experience. Thank you! One minor observation: the seating arrangement on this episode reminded me of CSPAN telecast of a Congressional hearing, with a separation between the interviewers and " the witness." I think that wasn't the intent, but I had that "feeling" about it the entire way through the episode. I much prefer when everyone's at the same table. Just saying. But still, great episode. Thank you all!
I agree...good material but bring back the conference table.
Excellent information!!!! So helpful 😊
In my situation, he goes to his Therapy, 12 Steps, & 7 Pilars. But he's still continue his behaviors. When I asked when was the last time you attend? His answer, “oh I did not go because I don’t feel like going.”
That's a difficult situation, Janet. We're sorry to hear that. Are you able to receive support personally?
Thank you. Yes I have personal supports from Celebrate Recovery Step Study Group, Betrayal & Beyond Group, & PSAP.
What is “group” exactly and where can you find good groups to join for therapy?
Check out puredesire.org/groups
U guys..love her/wife. But how long will I have to cater to her. Weeks/months/years??? Guess it depends on how much the relationship matters to me, which it does. But I guess what I'm trying to ask is...Would any of the advice u guys offer on the panel have any adverse affects towards the spouse/betrayer train of thought? Meaning would I have to degrate myself to the point in which I self hate/not like myself/self depreciating depression induced...not wanting to be in any committed relationship ever again??? Yes..if it gets to that point, what would u recommend???
Sounds like you’re making it about you. Which is most likely what your addiction/infidelity was about as well. It’s time to be selfless, not continue being selfish. How long are you willing to support her from the damage you have caused? How many years did you spend putting yourself first? Have Grace with her that she is still there
what does a betrayed partner do if the struggling partner is happy for them to get counselling but they won't get counselling as their words might be twisted.
As a betrayed spouse, your attitude is so hurtful. What I really need is to KNOW that my spouse is there for me in the pain, cares about my pain, and is curious about what’s going on with me emotionally/spiritually. It’s my spouses attitude toward me when I’m hurting, the avoidance, the lack of empathy, that makes me feel like there is no hope for the future. Your wife deserves someone who cares about her, not someone who literally plowed over her with a car and now is impatient with the recovery process.