I’m going through this right now. Same exact situation, except my boyfriend told me he doesn’t agree with waiting for anything and won’t. Morgan, how did you leave or break up with him? Just like you he’s all I have and I’m stuck
I'm still convinced that Morgan and I dated the same guy 😂 When I was 17, I started dating a guy who I told the first time I met him I was waiting until marriage. He was a worship leader, I basically worked at my church, we seemed to be on the same page. Next thing you know, he's literally throwing my purity ring out his car window 😅 Although my ex might be slightly worse, because now he's in jail lol. But girl, I relate so much. Life is wild!
Brave lovely lass, I hope you know only He can judge .... and blot out sins. I pray you don't get much haters, I thought you did very well. I didn't even know you had BPD. Go girl #sharing x 🇬🇧
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this story with us Morgan! And Paul is such a good sport and I’m so proud you’re both able to see what a positive impact this testimony has and will continue to have in the lives of others. I appreciate the advice and Morgan being able to reflect on her past and what could be helpful to others in preventing the same situation or just in steering them back towards God if they are currently still in that situation. It was a blessing for me, God bless you guys !!
She should’ve done this video alone… Paul did not need to give his input on her storytime about her past. They could have added a segment to discuss and pick apart her storytime afterwards. So frustrating to hear him interrupt every 30 seconds or so. Is it her storytime or his?
Super awkward. He's obviously not going to be super at ease with his wife's previous sex life. With the little, this is 'thick', hit the subscribe button, I forgive the other man interjections (no one was asking for your forgiveness) and the silly looking face, he simply diminishes any seriousness that might be there in the conversation.
Isn’t it funny how things happen and we’ll tell ourselves I’ll never let anybody know the truth in a million years! But here God gives you the freedom and you’re literally sharing your story to a whole room of people or the entire Internet!!! You rock Morgan!!
Although I don't agree with y'all's view, there are still important things to glean from this story, and I appreciate that Morgan seems to be sharing from a healthier and more confident place. The important things are to know your own mind, stand up for what you truly want for yourself so that you are not wasting your time and emotions on people who are not pouring into you. I don't believe one has to wait. There are ways to respect yourself and your partner(s) and have sex. I think the religious obsession with sex / purity is gross, as it's actually very objectifying, and probably causes more problems within people's minds alone than it cures. I think the traditional religious view on sex is being turned on its head so much these days because people are having more experiences that prove to them that waiting and marriage are not guarantees of a good partner or anything good to come. For example: Those who have had (or witnessed) damaging, religious marriages AND then a healthier, unmarried sexual relationship with someone else. Long rant - sorry.
How so? I think they’ve balanced it out beautifully and she now has a man that is a strong spiritual leader. Also … they didn’t post this to ask for your judgment. God balanced them out and blesses their marriage and now they’re using it to help others. Isn’t that what we’re called to do? We all have a past of some sort … we’re all sinners, our sins don’t have to be the same as each others and they don’t have to be equal for us to have a healthy “balanced” marriage.
@@Samnoid the Bible doesn't say that. Please find the passage, all citations needed. I'm sure you will find a lot about leadership etc. You won't find anything about husbands being greater or more powerful than their wives.
It’s amazing how our stories of sin can later be used to help others. I was not a Christian growing up. In fact I was 38 when I was saved. I was extremely promiscuous and God has forgiven me for all of it. Thank you for telling your story ❤🙏🏻
That mindset of one thing leading to another is a very slippery slope. Thank you, Morgan, for being very transparent and poignant in sharing that part of your spiritual struggle. There are guys out there who, for whatever reason, will say many things to get into some pretty gal's life, even long-term. You are so right about finding Godly people to be accountable to, wonderful support, time in HIs Word every day, and especially a wonderful man who is willing to grow and lead. There may be times when the couple makes mistakes even then, but the difference is the direction of the relationship, and the part that each person is willing to play in the continuation of their devotion to God within that relationship. My beau leads us in prayer without any prompting from me, he sees me struggling, takes my hands, and prays with me right there. He is reading more of the Bible on his own. He asks me every day what I need from him, and is willing to be of service from his heart. I am amazed at God's grace that I finally found that. I am grateful that you found that in your life, too.
As someone who lived through purity culture and the shame it heaps on people I will never agree with this. I had sex before marriage and my ex husband did not. The church and even my parents made it out like I should be so grateful for him. He was never a good husband. Oh he was an "awesome" Christian went to seminary and taught and blah, blah, blah... he treated me poorly. He and I were not sexually compatible at all. I was treated with more love and kindness from the guy I had sex with before marriage than my then husband. My new husband and I lived together before marriage and made love regularly. He helped heal my hurt with his kindness and his body. My daughters are being taught their bodies are precious and sex is valuable but not off limits. They should think about how and with whom they share it but not make a shrine around sex.
the part where u said “he helped heal my hurt through his kindness and body” is so beautiful and sweet. Sex is meant to be healing with the right person and i dont think it matters if u have it before or after marriage. It’s all about being with the right person who is genuinely a good person. I hope you’ve healed through any shame ignorant ppl put u through 💕
@bitchesgonbebitchesluvthemhoes it took me a long time, but I've moved into an amazing head space about the hurt and trauma I experienced at the hands of the church and Christians. My husband helped me and, by extension, helped my daughters as well. He and I have raised them to k ow their worth isn't derived from their virginity but who they are as humans. Their bio father refuses to speak to them because they are their own amazing young women, and he can't hurt them with his hateful behavior. They love their dad (my husband) and trust him more than the guy who shared his DNA with them. Like you said... the right person... that's what matters!
@@j.moto3435 @j.moto3435 yeah, he was in that category for sure. He was insecure but the reason he didn't break up with me is because we didn't exactly have a common relationship. He and my dad thought God told them we should get married. I went along because I was trying to be a "good" daughter and I stayed to be a "good" wife and mother.
@@sondrabaz9509may the lord open your eyes to see the truth someday. I’m sorry for your experience but that doesn’t determine what is right. God’s word has the final authority. It’s up to us whether we want to believe and obey Him.
@thumpmusician340 my eyes are wide open. I go to an amazing church that understands people are fallen and need to be met where they are not have judgment hurled at them. We explore the actual meaning of the Bible and how so many of the words that we associate with Christianity are actually NOT in the original text or they have lumped several words into one for "brevity" or to help things be more "understandable". Like for instance, the word hell, it's not a word in Hebrew or Greek... it's several words that are rolled into one word. So don't come at me with your holier than thou attitude as if you have any understanding of me and my relationship with Christ.
Thank you Morgan for sharing. This was beautiful. I can't help but pause as you stated that your boyfriend did a really good job of presenting himself as someone different when he was with you. After seeing the video of him, you finally broke up with him. That was after 8 months if I'm correct. While, I agree long term dating certainly has its struggles, this kind of helps support my worries about dating for shorter periods of time. I honestly can't imagine just meeting someone and then getting engaged after just 5 months. (It's different if you've been friends for awhile before) There are some people who are incredibly skilled at presenting themselves as who they think you want them to be. I've seen it sooooo many times. For myself, I would want to know someone a full year before getting engaged. I guess I have some trust issues, but I've just known some very skilled manipulators. Marriage is a BIG deal, and I want to know 100% that I can trust this person. For me trust is built, earned and fostered overtime and solidified through actions rather than words. Paul, while I know for some two years of being together can be a bad idea. I know it's possible to maintain purity for this long because I know multiple people who have been successful in doing so. I would never assume that a couple who's been together for two years is sexually active. I really think it depends on the ccouple. I respect ya'll and support you. So hopefully I am not coming on too strong. Wish ya'll the best!
I hear you girl. But I will say that looking back, if I really wanted to, I could have seen who this guy really was. Much quicker! But I purposefully ignored the very clear signs that he was not what I was looking for in a man. Probably 3 months in I knew that deep down. 😕 Paul and I dated for 4 months and although we certainly learned things in our marriage about one another, it was never THAT surprising. Because we were incredibly intentional and I did not go in with blinders on my eyes. Nor did he. 😊 Appreciate your thoughts!
I would add that the only couple I know who dated multiple years ( 7, actually! They met at 15 & 16 ) AND maintained purity only did so by not kissing WHATSOEVER - just hand holding and maybe a forehead or cheek kiss. They prayed about what they're physical boundaries should be " should we kiss? " And God was like, very audibly " NO ". They felt that maintaining very strict physical boundaries was imperative because they lived several states away, and on each visit, there was always the deep urge to " kick it up a notch" which... If you're not even kissing... Is a pretty small, very limited notch ; maybe they'd *intensely* hold hands. At any rate, they've been happily married several years now, and honestly, looking back on my own dating experience ( I'm also happily married for several years ) I can't really make a case FOR kissing while only dating, the cons and risks FAR outweigh the pros, in my opinion, whereas I can make several great cases for NOT kissing while dating. Making out is like the " gateway drug ", and honestly, it's just not necessary in only dating. 🤷♀️
@@PaulandMorgan yes! Intentional dating is so important 100%! I know lots of couples who have very successful marriages and they have similar timeliness of dating. From start to finish my parents knew each other for 8 months before getting married. (About 1/2 of it was long distance) I think I'm kind of damaged by a lot of the deception and failed marriages I have witnessed in my extended family. I have difficulty trusting people. So I know it's kind of a me problem. I'm willing to own that.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I , too, wanted to wait until marriage. I was very sheltered in high school, and then went away to college. I fell in love with an unbeliever, and I was not walking closely with God. I felt like I could win him over and help him to become a believer. That was not the case. We ended up having sex outside of marriage, and I felt like I needed to marry him because of that. If we wouldn't have had sex, I would not have chosen him to be my husband. After 7 years of marriage and a son, we divorced for unbiblical reasons. Now, I do not feel at peace about remarriage because my divorce was not biblical. I can be content and happy as a single person for the rest of my life. I know God has forgiven me, but that doesn't erase the consequences of sin. I wish so badly there would have been someone in my life that I could have talked to about waiting, and putting God first in all my choices. I was young, dumb and no way ready for marriage at 19. I hope and pray that your video and your testimony will help others in the same situation. You have given me motivation and have inspired me to share my testimony and my experience with others, so hopefilly they won't make the same mistake. Thank you, Morgan and Paul.
i....hmmm... i dont want to sound un empathetic.....but i feel its important to point out....the thing that was wrong here was thinking you HAD to marry someone you had sex with. And thats brainwashing from church and current christian culture. i wouldve had a very similar story to you if i'd bought that brainwashing. conversion dating. my first real love was with an atheist. But, we broke up a few times and the last time I decided was final. It wasn't a healthy relationship overall and marriage would've been a mistake. But I healed and moved on by reflecting on the positive, that I DID love the man at the time. It was the first time I loved someone on a deeper level like that. And I don't want to go through life, ever regretting having LOVED someone. Love is never a waste of time. And as such, I feel plenty at peace over the intimacy that was had and I made my peace with that long ago. And it never became an issue in my now marriage. Notice how often people outside of church are doing better at healing and being functional when it comes to sex and relationships, and this culture meanwhile is keeping you in BONDAGE....instead of the freedom God, i think, calls us to. When you share your testimony with others, maybe the focus should be on ....not marrying someone just because you slept with them. that is quite clearly unwise to anyone in their 20s.
Okay but God hates divorce because it breaks covenant. But it dosen't mean divorce is completely unbiblical theres a bunch of scriptures that give reasons for divorce. But ask God, just please don't believe the lie you can never marry again. either let God heal whats broken or give you something new. whether thats remarriage or singleness, whatever that looks like for you with God. He knows. either way I know He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you to give you a hope and a future.
I fell in love with an unbeliever and had the same mindset that I could save him. I also made sure to let him know that I was saving sex for marriage but never set up any boundaries. Fortunately we both agreed that we were dating for marriage and I can say that he really meant that. I also am thankful that we were long distance, because although it sucked not being with him in person, it meant that there was no chance of having premarital sex. If we weren’t long distance tho, I could’ve seen us getting married, and it would’ve ended up like your situation as well. I want to comfort you by saying that God doesn’t require you to remain single forever. Matthew 19:6 says “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” What I want to point out here is “what GOD has joined together, let no man separate.” However, God doesn’t join together every relationship. Some are joined out of our own desires and pride. God may had led to you two divorcing because it’s not a marriage that He created. I believe that God has a true godly man out there who will lead you just as Christ leads the Church. You may choose to be single, but I truly believe that if you desire, that God will allow you to enter into another relationship and be freed from the baggage from your old one❤❤
I love the fact that you are choosing your Godly conviction over what other people MAY say (like it’s ok to remarry). I do want to say/ask this however; did he remarry/have sex with anyone else since the two of you divorced? If so, I believe you are in your biblical rights to remarry. Ultimately, please please please, follow the conviction Holy Spirit is giving you over anything I say. I only asked that question because I don’t want the guilt of what you did in the past to be what you are calling Godly conviction, because I have been there as well. I believe that you are able to remarry if the other person has been with someone else since the two of you divorced. God bless
I have been in this situation I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost two years now and I’m really mad when I fall in to sexual sin I want to live for JESUS and this video made me realize some things thank you for the story GOD BLESS YOU!
This is SO refreshing to hear. I have a similar story. I really wanted to honor God and was broken by my sin in a relationship.. the guy I was with put on a really good act, in front of my parents and at church and to me.. He wasn’t truly interested in God and I came to find out that he was a completely different man around his friends. I totally understand the depression, shame and darkness that comes with living in sin for long periods of time and hiding in the shame and secrecy of it all. Praise God for his redemptive story! He has saved me from myself. This encourages me to tell my story with excitement for how God has redeemed me. Thanks for sharing!
Hi! I became a patron of your channel back in 2019 when I was very isolated and you guys were the only Christian community I really had 💚 I just wanted to let you know that I know you get so many things said about you which are just vile and slanderous, but what you're doing is beautiful and impactful and valued. I was in a "situationship" a year or so ago and it would have been so easy to cross physical boundaries with that person. I can honestly say that it is due at least in part to the fact that your channel got me to rethink and better define my own boundaries that I didn't become physical in that situation and don't have any of those regrets 💚 Seeing your healthy, faith filled marriage also helped me realize how much was missing in that situation and let it go. So thank you both, and so much love! 💚
Thank you for sharing! I had a similar experience. Young ladies who may be watching this: if a man doesn’t want you to share with others about slipping up and wants to keep it in the dark. Don’t. Always tell your mentor.
Kudos to Morgan to speak of her experience while every other sentence was edited by Paul. Kudos to Paul to semi contain yourself throughout this tale. Paul I believe that I’d feel as you do and in a way have ptsd over it as a follower. If you believe you’re “over it” I believe the term denial comes to mind. Morgan needs to continually support the insecurities that this produced. It appears you do and do it patiently and understand how vulnerable this can make the man who loves you feel. Godbless you both. I credit you both. Imo I believe as you did toward the later part (as you yourself said) “let the woman talk.” I think being transparent about this will help other young men and woman to stay committed to your beliefs. It’s a tough story for a man of any age to hear each and every time. Keep the love flowing. You’re both wonderful.
I always forget how similar Morgan's story is to mine. Though, I will say, there was definitely an intentionality and manipulative quality present on behalf of the man I was dating. And, as a lesson to any single ladies reading this, if the man says he respects your boundaries, but then consistently pushes at those boundaries...Run!
Thank you for your vulnerability Morgan you are a blessing to the lost sheep in this present dating world as well as confirmation to those dating according to God’s guidelines. Paul how absolutely beautiful to see your loving and protective heart towards Morgan. ❤❤ The mention of not discussing or having boundaries in place reminded me of a book I gave to all our kids The Ten Commandments of Dating, excellent book ! Blessings on your much needed ministry ✝️☝️🙏
@Andy Rick Oh, I will gladly take responsibility for my own choices. However, it's funny how you feel so confident in your assertion that I am man bashing when you do not know me or my story. Those who do have that knowledge know that this is an intentionally vague and relatively light hearted comment so as to avoid actually bashing the person in question. I believe in the redemptive power of the Holy Spirit and refuse to make willy-nilly comments that may condemn the person he is today. I don't know that man. As for you, maybe you shouldn't be going into comment sections full of women being vulnerable about their pasts and being a voice of condemnation. It's not very christ-like.
Paul, I wanna correct you on something (in love) 2 1/2 years is a long time to wait in Protestant circles, but I don’t see this problem as often among practicing Catholic young adults. When I was a Protestant, I remember it was VERY common to see ppl get hitched within a few months of knowing each other, and looking back, I think it’s a terrible idea.. in large part, very juvenile and a reflection of not taking marriage seriously enough. Or practicing self control over desires.. In the Catholic Church, you must do a mandatory 8 months of premarital counseling before marriage.. and that’s after engagement. Which means most people are dating for at LEAST 2 years before getting married. As you should, since it’s the second most important decision you ever make (behind choosing to follow the Lord). There’s this odd hedonistic, spiritually immature attitude in most Protestant circles that goes something like “well we might as well go ahead and get married so that we don’t stumble into sin” and I just can’t imagine feeling like you’re ready for marriage if that’s your line of reasoning. It makes it about the sex, rather than the covenant in my opinion. It’s just like so disordered..
M|9dr1xv8z .... although I think you're correct, please, may I suggest a "kinder and gentler method" to avoid casting aspersions toward our fellow Christians.
1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. You chastised them people for obeying the Bible?
“Most Protestant circles”. Be more charitable to your fellow Christian brothers. Catholics hate when other branches of Christianity generalise them, now they do it to others
For me, I slept with fiance at 18 I was saving myself for marriage and figured I was going to marry this person so I did it. Turns out he wasn't who I thought he was and we broke up when I was 21. This breakup and the fact that I broke my promise to God threw me into depression and I started drinking and sleeping with anyone. I had a child at 24 and met my now husband at 27. I re dedicated my life to Christ and now have a fulfilling life as a wife and mother of 3. It's amazing what the Lord will bring you out of when you FULLY give your life to him. :)
spiraling into a depression and drinking and having reckless, harmful sex......I just want to say is not normal. It is not a normal reaction to breaking up with someone you had premarital sex with. Gosh i read some of these comments and its like, people dont see the results of purity culture right under their noses. I had premarital sex with someone i wanted to marry. it didnt work out. yeah i was really sad. but goodness, i didnt start drinking and sleeping with everyone. I carried on dating and tried to carefully vet people. met my husband, had premarital sex, now we're married and its pretty fulfilling. You dont have to go through all these extra steps. ......the church is so screwed up on sex wow
Grief and heartbreak, darkness and depression look different for everyone. i probably would have done the same thing regardless of faith. That is my testimony and shows the power of what happens when you dont take Gods standards seriously. Praise God that he is able to break people of sin and lifestyle. Its also important to have these kinds of conversation that Paul and Morgan are bringing up and its obvious why.
@LizS817 I think its important to have these conversations but it looks like a big echo chamber in here. And fair enough if you probably would have done that regardless of faith. But I just feel like, its real dangerous to put the onus on premarital sex as if thats what's causing these things for people or for someone like you, when we don't all derail our lives because of it. Many of us go on just fine. and i think part of the reason i turned out okay was EXPLICITLY because i stopped believing the church about their dogmas on sex. I didnt stop believing in God. but i could see....what church teaches about sex and supposedly is "godly"....just wasn't adding up. glad i didnt follow that path.
I wonder if this could be me in the future🥲 I lost my virginity earlier when I was a teenager. That made me continue to take the same bad choices with future boyfriends, and now I'm 24 and pregnant with a non-believer who has cheated on me not too long ago.. and I feel like my life is over.. I try to be positive but I feel like I'm stuck with him.. for several reasons.. where I'm feelikg pressed to marry him ... but really hoping things were different and I could find a christian man. But now it seems like too late, or too difficult.
@@light-off28 what I learned is that it is NEVER too late to start new. Get connected in your local church preferably one that offers Biblical counseling. Start praying and reading your Bible and genuinely ask the Lord for guidance. The moment I surrendered my situation to God, repented I was able to turn from the lifestyle I was living. Best of Luck to you! ❤❤
Morgan- I'm so sorry that you've been made to feel such shame about your past, and that your husband continues to perpetuate this shame and trauma for RUclips views and to stroke his own fragile ego.
It's not a fragile ego he wanted a virgin and he didn't get it, and she and women should feel shame who say they're Christian but really aren't if you are not a Christian and you are not a virgin it's not a problem because she was his first everything but he wasn't
This was bold Morgan, may this reach the eyes and ears of those who need to hear this! Praying Colossians 4:6 over you. I can relate to the secretive element of sexual sin. Thankfully I broke the silence, due to the loving kindness of my parents. Sharing was liberating and the shame skidaddled, allowing for healing and wholeness once more. Jesus is kind and we need each other...sidenote, loving all the luscious green foliage 🌿
Do not awaken love until it pleases! Absolutely. Loved the story. Love that Paul was able to accept your past, but I also loved that he cared about purity.
My story definitely has a lot of similarities, though my husband and I did end up getting married. We got together when I was 15 and he was 17, and were together for 3 and a half years before we got married, simply because we had to wait until I was 18 to get married. We shouldn't have been allowed to be in a serious relationship at that young of an age, not because we weren't mature enough (we were both the oldest siblings in our families and pretty mature for our age), but because our parents weren't willing to let us get married before the age of 18. We didn't have accountability whatsoever. We were both raised in the church, but at the time, my family had recently left the church altogether, his was not doing well at all, and we were left to our own devices. Three years is toooooooo long of a time. We kept pushing the envelope a little more and a little more and a little more. Like Paul said, a few years into a dating relationship and one would be hard pressed to believe that a couple dating that long wouldn't be having sex. There was so much guilt for me personally while we were dating because I knew sex before marriage was wrong, and I was doing the exact same thing in saying "okay, we crossed a line, let's not do that again." My now husband didn't pressure me and was always so kind and loving, and he himself had the same convictions, but I know that it is hard for a man to have been engaged in a regular sex life and then just cut off from it at random, whenever either of us would get to feeling too guilty. Praise the Lord that though we know that it was obviously wrong to be intimate before marriage, guilt and shame are not part of our marriage today. We have been married for 5 years and couldn't be happier ❤️ our families have both continued to go away from the faith in many ways, but praise God that we got together at such a young age and have been able to grow in Christ together. If I had been allowed to go one more year following the trajectory that my family was headed down,or if he had, who knows where we would be today. God knows, and he works all things for his glory, but we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble if we had had a church, or family accountability, or anything to help us along.
@@lenin1949 no, it wasn't their fault at all, it was our own decision. And it really wasn't an issue for us when I was 15, not until I was 17 and 18 was looking more and more like an arbitrary number. I was no more mature the day I turned 18 than I had been the year I was 17. It would have been helpful to us to have more accountability with my parents by either not allowing us to date at all before we were old enough to marry, or by keeping a close eye on us, not allowing us to spend soooooo much time alone and unsupervised. The thing is, parents DO have a responsibility to steward their children well while they are under the age of 18, so my parents should have either helped in some ways to prevent us from sinning, or allowed us to marry to avoid sin all together. Parents do not have the right to knowingly allow their child to sin.
@@emilydobbins5154 Dude what? Mature enough to be married at 17, but also needed your parents' supervision to stay pure until marriage? Also, "knowingly allow their child to sin." You ever think maybe what you were doing was fine? That your own values and those of your family were wrong? Do you think maybe this is why your respective families havd drifted away, they didn't want literal children to experience this torment? No, I don't think your parents should have let you get married. Your marriage is very likely to end in divorce according to statistics. That's just my piece.
It cracks me up (and disgusts me that he is getting off by judging her) how MUCH he interrupts Morgan in order to convince himself. HOWEVER! Her admission that she “LOVES” talking about her past helps 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 And yet his facial expressions of distain are terrifying (and hilarious) This channel never fails to exhibit the mindf*ck that it is.
It's not disgusting, it's honest. And he has every right to feel like that, as every spouse should. If the situation was reversed and she felt like that, would you say the same?
Dont be a selfish resnetful girl! The man is hurting, hes Jealous, he has every reason to be. Imagine all your life you save yourself for a future spouse as a gift to them. You ignore all the sexual pressure internally and externally, you ignore the shame being a virgin just to honor your future spouse. When u meet your spouse you find out they gave them self away, they made a bond with someone else and did not use wisdom. Wouldn't that hurt ? A unwrapped gift for them now.. its so unfair. So before you come against this man, maybe turn ur brain on and stop being so damn simple mindded and selfish. The Man is hurting ! And For a Good Reason!
@@madisontipton4919 Thats a fair question and I understand the reasoning behind it. But perhaps he didnt think it was going to be an issus, he might have thought hey Ill be a good Christian boy and look past it. Ill be forgiving and give grace. Sometimes we dont know we have an issue or a problem with something until we do. I think his pain matters, how he feels is very isolating and gut wrenching from his prespective. In this age when women get so much emotional support and men get nothing in terms of help and understanding is sickening. If it was the case that he had a problem and still married her, I think that is a deeper problem in the church. Today pastors shame men and encourage women, "You need to forgive and Forget" "You need to be more loving" "Her past does not matter" ......When in many partical cases, it does matter.... Most of the church in the west has really stopped giving Good Pratical advice for Men, we have pastors the encouraging this type of behavior where you just need to forgive, but forgivness and dealing with the pain are two different things, you can forgive but have deep hurt, sometimes the issue is bigger then the person. Hyperspiritual leaders who have abandon pratical understand of consequences and how some things are more complicated and need a more practical approach. So if your right about him waiting for someone thats a Virgin then I see ur point, and perhaps there is something to say there but hes not the only one to blame P.S, Im not here to attack women, I understand Morgan is struggling too, but I am just defending the dude as many people on here are absolutely without Mercy on how he is feeling.. and well thats Not ok.
Hi dear Morgan and Paul! I really appreciate your honesty and openness! I just want to say once I heard a story from another girl who wanted to save herself for marriage, but she also met the wrong guy and the things happened what she didn’t wanted to happen. I liked it how she described her situation, she said maybe she is no more a virgin physically but spiritually she is a virgin again, bcoz the Lord forgave her and made her new from inside after she stopped and repented! Amen! You know me and my husband weren’t believers until our mid twenties we met in the church and we also wanted to wait until our wedding night, it was really hard to wait, but we were together like for 10 months so it wasn’t too long, it was possible to save sex for our marriage! You know what my husband then fiancé was telling me, he told me, it doesn’t matter the guy is a believer or not, it is the guy who will decide it and even if the girl doesn’t want the guy will be able to manipulate her in to doing it, he told me also it doesn’t matter how the girl is in her faith, max a week and the guy can make her to sleep with him, he told me also if he wanted he could also manipulate me in to doing it before marriage, but bcoz it is a big sin and it was our desire to wait, he still would marry me, bcoz he truly loved me, but it is just a prospective from a man who wasn’t a believer then became a believer! And it’s still so unfair bcoz always later the girl will be shamed and all say it’s her fault and the guy is like a victim! It is so difficult in this fallen world, Morgan was sooo young and our brain is like that, if there is a depression our brain will search for some quick relief to feel better, it doesn’t understand the consequences of such quick reliefs! God bless you!
I can so relate Morgan! Thank you for sharing! Any man that leads you into sin, is definitely not God’s will(I say this from experience). We didn’t have sex, but once one line was crossed, another soon was crossed. It’s surprising how quickly you become comfortable with sin. But like you I wasn’t in the Word like I normally was! I was praying for my will! Loneliness and grief was a weakness the devil got a foothold in! The truth always comes out in the end! I have like you, took my own accountability! Learnt from my mistakes and not to fill voids in my flesh, that only God can fill in the Spirit. I thank God for being patient and forgiving with me! That he saved me from myself! And the wrong man! We know clearly what the Bible says about the marriage covenant and like Paul rightly states! “A Godly man is a leader, he loves you like Christ!” Since I surrendered about the sin in my heart and flesh, the Lord has blessed me, I thank Him everyday for that. I was miserable in sin! Your story is so very relatable! Timed perfectly to help me feel understood and many other’s. God bless you both.
Morgan, you did wonderfully sharing your story and I'm sure it'll be a huge encouragement to so many others! Thank you! Paul, you had a lot of great add-ins to Morgan's points and I love your example of forgiveness and acceptance when someone is a new creature in Christ! At the same time, your statement that when you've heard that someone's dated for two-and-half years, you're almost assuming sex is happening was so insulting. Just because a couple is dating for a couple of years does not mean they're living together, nor does it say anything about how much nonsexual physical affection they're giving each other. You have to be able to consistently see what a person's like at their best and worst to know what they're really like and just because someone is dating longer than you personally suggest, it doesn't say anything about if they're having sex. Don't just make disgusting assumptions about other believers simply because they don't agree with you on how long is a reasonable amount of time to date. Love believes and hopes all things.
Thank you so much Morgan for sharing! I do struggle with this. The loneliness and wanting someone to grow old with. The desire for sexual intimacy, but within a marriage. Trying to find a Christian man. But left with so much disappointment with trying to meet one. Even the dating apps have left me with a heaviness in my heart. Thinking that these men would conduct themselves in a Godly manner, and they don’t. And living in a world of sin. I feel like I only find men of the world. I have shared my desire with God for companionship. And try to leave it at His feet. As I move forward in my life. I work on accepting that I might live a life where that desire for companionship may not be His desire for me.
I can deeply relate to this. I appreciate how you ended your comment. I see so many Christians make comments about how if you set your heart and desires upon Godly things and have a pure heart, then God will grant the desires of your heart. I just see no support of this in scripture. This is theology straight from the Devil. We have to be willing to submit ourselves to the will of the Father and accept that His will doesn't necessarily always match our wills. He has greater plans than we have for ourselves. Sometimes those plans include loss, tragedy and the letting go of our personal dreams. We don't know God's will, so while praying and seeking guidance in looking for a husband is totally okay, we can't make it a idol in our lives. We must submit ourselves to God, seek to grow in our relationship with him, gain wisdom and do our best to fulfill the responsibilities we have in all areas of our lives. Be the best Godly you, you can be (by God's grace) and put yourself in situations where you can meet someone. The rest is in God's hands. 🙂
I DEFINITELY didn’t expect your story. I usually assume if someone doesn’t end up saving themselves for marriage it’s because they didn’t intend to from the get-go. Thank you so much for sharing because as Paul said this must be the case for SO MANY people who set out trying to do the right thing and unknowingly (or knowingly) open a door to the enemy. I knew my husband was the man I was going to marry before we dated because I asked The Lord for confirmation. That did make it kind of harder to wait because we knew where our relationship was headed and that we’d eventually be husband and wife. We intended to have a longer engagement, but by Holy Spirit’s leading we ended up only being engaged for three days before we had our small wedding because God wasn’t calling us to draw things out. I was 23 and he was 30, so we didn’t have a ton of accountability (even though we asked for it) because everyone was like “you’re grown, so do what you want”. In the end-by God’s grace-we did make it to the marriage bed both as virgins, but it wouldn’t have happened without The Lord because we are imperfect and humans can be pretty impatient when we want something.
Morgan touched on having a close relationship with her boss at her church. I want to share a bit of advice about having a close personal relationship with your boss or employer, even when it’s at your church or in a Christian ministry setting. Although it’s wonderful to have a boss that you feel very close to and who you may even consider to be good friend, you need to remember that your primary relationship to that person n the workplace is a legal one. Along with that comes a major imbalance of power of which you have none. I highly recommend not disclosing detailed personal information to your boss about anything in your life, especially about your romantic relationships, your sex life, or your health. Definitely do not have them be your accountability partner. When working in churches or parachurch organizations, we often refer to ourselves as family, but you are not family. If you want to be close personal friends with your boss or have them as an accountability partner, do not work for them. I realize this sounds harsh to many, but it’s a reality. It’s have personal experience with this going bad, and it’s more common that you think. Also, if you love your church, don’t work for them. Chances are that once you get pass the facade of your church being the perfect workplace and you experience how painfully flawed even the seemingly most wonderful people can be, it will change a lot about your experience attending that church.
I had a close friend who invited me to work under her at a girl's home. I accepted her offer without praying about it, I just got a good feeling and thought that I should do it. Anyway, I moved into a whole different house in order to be the house Mom, the one who would always live there and help the woman that live there. Within the span of my friend hiring me and then me moving into the house, her entire demeanor towards me changed. She became cold and detached, and was not friendly at all. I remember I had a lunch with her and two other people where she completely ignored me the whole time and purposefully looked at other people at the table instead of me. It was extremely odd. I called her out on it. She fired me the next day. The whole experience was extremely hurtful and I felt so betrayed and confused because of how I was treated. Just wanted to share my story because of what you said, and I can confirm that it is true.
I know today's video ending up being more controversial than you probably expected, so I just wanted to send you guys love for being so open and sharing! Even if I don't always agree, I love your hearts and am thankful for your honesty! 💖
Hi Morgan, could you please do a video on your borderline personality disorder and how you were diagnosed with it and why you were diagnosed with it and what symptoms you had and if you still struggle with it now and what treatments you used if any, etc etc etc. I have borderline personality disorder myself. Thank you.
@@PaulandMorgan that would be amazing because I have a friend who heavily struggles with bpd and depression and feels like she doesn’t have a future to look forward to. I do my best to bring her encouragement, but it would be amazing to hear about your experience so that I can get a better picture at how God worked out your story and turned it into the beautiful life you have now❤
I would be very interested in a story about your BPD Morgan. And one on Paul's ADHD, the history and how that affects your life and relationships Paul.
BPD can often be an umbrella (mis)diagnosis for ADHD, ASD, CPTSD. Look into these, Morgan. And if the going ever gets too tough, you have millions of women out here to welcome you with open arms. Depression and mood disorders can be treated.
This is a good message how important it is for women to focus on their values during dating and to find partners with values that match ours. Someone who loves you would never want to compromise something important to you.
In ways, I see myself much like the man in the story. I say that I have certain desires, but my actions show otherwise. And I've seen how when two people are unequally yoked, boundaries get crossed left and right. I am in a "situationship" with a guy now and we've not done anything physically but we've said things that were definitely crossing the line. It's hard to admit that I am the one in the wrong/the one who's provoking temptation. Prayers for a clean heart and the desire for Christ and His righteousness would be appreciated. Thank you both for sharing
Sad to admit I’m in the same situation however my wife and I have been married for almost six years. I know I missy at pray and work hard to be the spiritual leader she needs
I had a guy who told me he was Christian. I asked him about his faith some more and he told me he didn’t believe the Bible or that church is good for us. I don’t understand how someone believe is Christ and not the Bible and I honestly don’t know if he really does believe. I’m so happy I asked more questions because I realized that we were not equally yoked.
I was worried about where this video was going, but I felt it was well done. As a much older Christian woman who didn’t get saved until later in life, I was making a mental list of all mistakes made along the way. And Morgan laid out every mistake I saw at the end. I’ve learned one- equally yoked goes beyond the person just saying they are a believer. And in Christian dating, there has to be firm boundaries and accountability.
This is so similar to my story, Morgan!! Even 10 years removed from it and happily married (to a different guy), I still deal with guilt. I’d love to maybe see a part 2 about how you healed after that experience! Lord bless you for being so vulnerable and open ❤️
@@j.moto3435I agree with what you've said... but testing character is also good. I'm sure in your case, you can ask -- at any time -- to see your wife's phone with no contention, correct?
@@j.moto3435Once again, I totally agree and you are absolutely right in everything you've said. I was just curious, can you ask to see your wife's phone just to further prove me wrong? (I recently asked this to someone else who said something similar to what you wrote, but turns out when I asked him that question he noted that the last time he did that he and his wife separated for three years)
Ladies must realize that no matter how secure a guy is in himself, it will ALWAYS eat at him deep down if he knows his wife had sex with someone else. God made us this way. It’s a feature not a bug. Please ladies, consider your future before you engage in the “now”. You might just block the blessing God has for you. I share this because there are alot of virgin men out there suffering. They are shamed for being “unforgiving” or “insecure” when the anger as Paul stated, or visceral dread is something deep inside us that we can’t really control. I know this is a controversial opinion, but it needs to be said… because many guys won’t vocalize it out of fear put on us by our current culture, but virgin men ALL experience this deep inside of them.
Thanks for being so open about this. I'm currently going through this now after being in a five year relationship with someone. Everyday is a constant struggle of being angry at myself for allowing myself to be so foolish and idolizing the person so much that it interfered with the teachings of christ.
As someone who has also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, have you ever struggled with the judgments or stigmas that have come with that diagnosis...I am getting retested because psychiatrists have continued to overlook my autism diagnosis and never include it in my mental health diagnosis, but I still wonder what I'll feel if they say, I still have Bpd... I find it difficult when people say certain things about those with Bpd, or when a psychologist says they don't like treating someone with Bpd because of some bizarre scenario. Is this something you relate to, and if so how have you gotten past it?
Thank you for sharing your story, Morgan! And I love how protective Paul is of you and his healthy anger towards your ex-boyfriend. I can only pray for a future husband as great as Paul. I also want to say that this definitely resonates with me, too. I've never had sex or kissed a guy and I've been single most of my life so far, but it has been getting harder and harder as I'm getting older (I'm 30 now) to keep my mind pure from sexual thoughts and lust. I resonate with your story in that I feel as if I'm experiencing the same slippery slope into sin as you were having, but it is more mental than physical. I admit (regretfully) that I've watched some R-rated movies with some intense sex scenes, that I never thought I would watch, but I did. And I can never unsee what I saw. I know that it's wrong and that it doesn't fulfill me, and I also know that God is forgiving if I repent, but repenting can be very hard. To Paul and Morgan and to anyone else reading this, do you have any advice for turning away from sin regarding sexual thoughts and watching sexual content? Thanks in advance.
I would watch more Hallmark Movies or Family friendly movies. At Netflix they say if there is sexual content and then I wouldn't watch it or just skip the scene. That's what I do.
Hello, With ALL DUE RESPECT & without any JUDGEMENT or CONDEMNATION towards you whatsoever, I would like to lovingly give you the following admonishment, recommendation, instruction, and counsel as a man and brother in our LORD JESUS CHRIST (unless it is CONTRARY or in OPPOSITION to a 5 fold ministry vessel, such as your pastor or some other spiritual advisor/authority in your life, such as a parent, if it is, and there words are SCRIPTURALLY SOUND & RIGHTLY DIVIDED & INTERPRETED TRUTH, you follow their instruction, direction and counsel, NOT mine, for I am NOT in the 5 fold ministry) That being said, there is an old saying that quote, "the eyes are the windows to the soul." If you accept that premise as true, then in order to OVERCOME and more than CONQUER your sexual thoughts, you must avoid and shun any imagery that is causing them to arise up in the spirit of your mind by preventing them from occuring in the first place. I don't really think your problem is really lust, but rather a normal, natural desire to have expressions of LOVE shown towards yourself by a man. The key, I believe, in the Light of the HOLY SCRIPTURES/WORD, NOT my own opinion, to your victory is for you to quote, "Casting down those imaginations (coming from any media by eliminating their influence within the spirit of your mind) and every high thing that seeks to exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, (His Word 📖 or Spirit) and ask Him, through the POWER of His Spirit, to enable you to bring into captivity every thought which arises within your soul 🧠 to the OBEDIENCE of CHRIST JESUS (2 Cor. 10: 3-5) Your desire/longing/yearning for LOVE via emotional, mental and yes even physical companionship is NOT inherently wrong, you just need to seek to after His Spirit' s leading via His HOLY WORD to fulfill it in an appropriate manner. I hope and pray 🙏 these words help.
This was an amazing story! Thank you Morgan for being so honest and real. I was dumped six years ago because I refused to have sex with my ex. I'm so glad that I did what I did. I'm so grateful for my strong walk with God and now six years later (today) I'm single but, I'm apart of a great bible believing church/Community. God has really put some awesome people in my life and have helped me grow and me help them as well.
This is why once you break up with someone you should never go back because it only gets worse 😂 almost same exact story happened to me but now I’m single 🙌🏻
I think boundaries are a HUGE practical way to avoid this. But I don’t think people know what kind of boundaries to set and then therefore don’t set them at all.
Genuine question - considering your personal struggles with bpd and adhd, have you thought about how you will talk about and address mental health and wellness with your child(ren)?
Amen! This is all so true, I have also experienced a lot of this! Christians LISTEN! If a man wants all your time and it takes away from what God has given you in ministry such as church, family, friends, He is not going to be one to support you in your ministry when yall are married. Keep running after God! You won't miss the right man! Thank you Jesus!
Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable story, Morgan. Your story has incredibly valuable lessons for both those who have been successful so far in their goal to save intimacy for marriage and for those who have stumbled. For whoever is reading this, please know that no matter where you are at, you are never too far gone. There is no sin too great that Christ will not forgive.
I found your channel after getting out of a relationship similar to this. I knew the guy from high school and he happened to go to the same college as me. He had a girlfriend first and dated me right after. He claimed to be a be a believer, was raised in a Christian home, but he didn't seem to believe in boundaries except for sex. He was very touchy and even my parents would notice and have to express their disapproval of that to him. And we would have discussions after lines were crossed, mainly because I would bring it up and say we shouldn't be doing that. And then it would happen again and again. No matter how I tried to tell him it was wrong, he just couldn't or wouldn't see it. This went on for about two years. We got engaged, but broke up a month in by the grace of God, he was going for a career that I didn't feel comfortable with. But I was feeling close to a breaking point after being engaged. And on top of that he had been verbally abusive a few times and even a little physically once or twice. I fell into a deep depression after, angry and ashamed of everything, and months passed before I finally told my mother. It was a long healing process for me and I'm very grateful God helped me out of it when I couldn't get out myself.
Certainly resonates. Hope you don’t mind me adding that even if you do get married, that sin of disobedience to God follows you into your marriage and can create a separation between you, God, and your spouse. We must acknowledge our sin and confess it to be healed. Took me 23years to figure this out. I learned recently that it was my sin of idolatry of the relationship ahead of obedience to God that caused me to allow a man to lead me into his own sin of sexual impurity, and for 23 years I blamed him unable to see my own sin and confess it. God is good, and he redeems!
Along with many others in the comments, I experienced a very similar thing with my ex of 4 years. We went to church together and I thought I could bring him closer to Christ, but he ended up pulling me away. At 16 yrs old and 1 year into dating, I was told that if I didn’t have sex with him then he couldn’t be around me anymore. He had lost his virginity (while we were broken up for 4 months), and he told me it was “painful” to just kiss me. I still remember having the sorrowful feeling of giving up something I wasn’t ready to give up. He treated me like trash for my very first time and then I felt like I had to marry him (never did though). Unfortunately, it continues to affect my intimacy with my husband today. I am praying that one day I can find the peace you seem to have in this area. Thank you for sharing your story❤
But also, I wanna thank you for sharing this… bc you’re right. There are so many people out there who are struggling with loneliness, who are so close to compromising.. so thanks for your boldness 🙏❤️
This is very similar to my own story. We both wanted to wait till marriage but we didn't know what that meant. One thing led to another from kissing. After we crossed all the boundaries, I also kept thinking "well we already did it, what's the point in stopping now". And when Temptation came i gave into it and went out of my way to lure my boyfriend into this sin. Most of the time I was the initiator. But I hated how this sin made us see each other and how far we've gone from God. We got more numb and numb to our sins. The holy spirit telling me "stop", i heard it at first but the more we progress in sin the less we felt conviction. We just decided that we will not kiss at all from now on until the wedding day (if it's God's will for us to marry). This sin has really made me confused about whether He's the one to marry or not. He encourages me to do devotionals and he had asked me some really good questions regarding marriage. But the sin we committed together makes me question whether that means he isn't someone I should marry. It makes me think "what if I'm blinded to things because of the bond we created through sexual sin". Maybe that's not the case. Maybe it IS a redemption story for both of us. But who knows besides God? At this point I don't even know what I want with this man because I'm so confused. I'm just gonna do the right thing from now and pray while waiting for God's will to be done...
If you ask me, I don’t think the fact you guys sinned together means you shouldn’t marry. He seems, seems, like a decent guy based on what you wrote who genuinely cares about you, wants to wait with you and is willing to not even kiss you till then, and encourages you to get closer to God. Yes, having sex could make you more tied to people but if you’re both willing not to and you see it’s still going good that you can connect without it. That you actually have things in common and like each other for PEOPLE. That’s all. Everyone has a past.
As long as you guys fall in love for each other as people, instead of due to sex or in love with the lust n sex, the fact you sinned and repented for it doesn’t have to continue into your future
Morgan, this is so helpful and encouraging. Please ignore any hate as your good intentions to help others here are clear! Your vulnerability here is so encouraging. Love and God bless you guys ❤
From the comments, you can tell that people are entitled to tell people how to feel. Strangers on the Internet are quick to criticize Paul, like they know what Morgan feels
Sometime last year I got close to a guy. We hadn't talked in like 5 years and then all of a sudden I reached out to him cause it as feeling lonely. And over time we realised that when we were younger we had feelings for one another but hadn't known. He was very kind and like I lurched onto him to help me get out of depression and eventually we went out together. Somewhere along the way we were kissing and then we went into this public bathroom and things went farrr. But thankfully I stopped it before we could go all the way but we jumped so many boundaries in one day...I feel so guilty, dirty, and ashamed. I asked the Lord to forgive me but I still feel that self condemnation and I can't get over it. I wish I could take it back. All of it. But I realise that at that time I was in a rough rough place and instead of turning to God I turned to him and we r both Christians. What bugs me is that it was so easy and what if it happens again? Yeesh it's all a mess but it's encouraging to know that am not alone and many older Christians like Paul and Morgan are there to help. By the way I dunno there ages when I say older cause am in my early 20s and they look older than that so lol.
I know how Morgan feels or felt. Pre-marital sex is “fun” for a season then the emotional damages can be devastating into your future but not something God can not redeem and heal us from. Christian men and christian women please do not lead each other astray in secret sexual sin. My advice as well is to get off dating apps if the temptation is for you to date or hook up with non christian men. Don’t go clubbing if you are tempted to date or hook up with non christian men. You have to set up boundaries so that premarital sex doesn’t happen. Please tell a pastor or close trusted christian friend if you are currently in secret sexual sin, it’s not worth the damage it can cause long term.. lower your pride and embarrassment and confess your sins… sexual sin is a very difficult sin to overcome on your own.. you need christian community to get out of it! Trust me on this. I’m age 36 and I’m not a virgin, I’ve made these mistakes. Also get a accountability partner and remember the heart is deceitful above all else. Lust and love are opposites too. Don’t give up, there is hope and don’t struggle with secret sexual sin on your own. Feel free to pm me on this post and I can try help you:) god bless all ❤❤❤. PS:- Thanks for sharing your story, I have traits of BPD,PTSD… have had depression and anxiety.. so can totally relate to you!! This video blessed me ❤❤❤ From Jess in Australia 🇦🇺
Precious Paul and Morgan! Being so honest and vulnerable, Morgan, takes a LOT of courage. The purpose is to help and warn others and tell the truth in love ✝. And therefore your "personal story" is so powerful and healing for all your listeners. Thank you, kind Morgan for sharing your high and lows with us in order to bless us❤. You have a BLESSED and beautiful marriage that honors God and He is so PROUD of both of you. Much love xxx
Morgan Thank you for sharing! I was in a 5 year relationship and we even lived together! I have a very similar story to the one you just shared. It was an extremely painful experience and I even got pregnant and lost a baby and he wasn't there for me much at all really through that process. The wages of sin is death people...I was so depressed all the time and I swore things would get better because I really thought he was the one. It was twisted and I was manipulated as well. There is hope ! I repented and left that relationship. This video is truly going to help many! God bless you !
Thats good, just dont let non virgin christians who are resentful and regretful tell you to get off your high horse. Virginity is a beautiful gift for your future spouse. Honor it, regard your gift highly. Dont give a shit about the wisdomless and lack of self control indivuals shaming you. Take care.
I needed to hear this 😢 Thank you for sharing! Although I have not had sex with my fiancé. We have definitely crossed the lines and this has given me strength to say we need accountability. Please pray I can have the hard conversation with my fiancé because I always chicken out. Thank you for shedding some light on how the enemy works.
There’s nothing I love more about Christians than watching them speculate about which unmarried couples are probably having sex. It’s weird, and we all know what happens when we make assumptions.
I love how Paul isn’t judgmental but supportive. Setting a really good example of love. Morgan of course I can relate just as most women probably can. Thanks for keeping it real💗
Thank you so much for sharing. I have been through a very tough time with a very similar situation. Your story is so encouraging and inspiring. It truly lets people know, and opens their eyes, that Jesus Christ can provide a way out. Not only of this, but of everything sinful that tries to overtake us. Thank you again. You guys are such an inspiring and beautiful Christ-filled couple✝️💟
Reading through the comments I have seen a number of trolls and I just want to encourage you two, that God brought you two together, even with your different pasts, because that is who God is, He performs miracles, does the unexpected for His glory! So if someone wants to tell you how to live your lives, let they be worried about theirs, let they go to God and seek His guidance on how they should go about their lives, am glad God brought you two together, you are a lovely beautiful couple ordained by our Loving Father to do life together for His glory. Morgan and Paul, you are not defined by your past or even present struggles, we are still human even when we are believers and need His mercy to lead us everyday, we are eternally His children when we get saved, so whether we still fail Him (which we will do, since we are still living in our Earth bodies), His Son already paid the debt for our sins, so repent everyday and continue living for His glory. When we get to Heaven, we will be brought to full sanctification, we will struggle no more, we will have glorified bodies, Hallelujah 🙌🎉🎊
Thanks for sharing Morgan! It's true that boundaries are very difficult to keep, especially when they're not being discussed. My husband and I dated for a year and 7 months, got married another 7 moths later. It was difficult, but we worked hard at keeping those boundaries.
I love how excited Paul was about this whole story and all of the morals that came out of it . Also you guys talked about the men being called to be spiritual leaders, are there verses about this? I’ve wondered about it for a long time
@@scarlettredding I don’t think it’s vague , scripture says the husband will be the head of his wife ( and biblically the word head does indicate a leading type role ) And Christ will be the head of a man - also from scripture So Christ leads man, man leads a women, women helps leading and guiding the kids It’s scriptural based and that was just one instance
Premarital sex is not a sin in my opinion. If you’re in a relationship where you actually love and care for someone I don’t think it’s bad to have sex. I grew up believing premarital sex was a sin next to murder which is so harmful! And it messes with your head even after you get married cuz your mind doesn’t automatically switch to sex is good when you’ve been taught these bad things your about it your while life! Just know that your body is yours, and only you own your sexuality! Morgan I hope you know you don’t have to feel shame for your past! Sex is a normal part of life and you shouldn’t feel shame for it! Growing up I would beat myself up for having sexual thoughts, I thought I was going to hell! But I realized that it’s totally normal part of growing up! I hope that purity culture and the shame will come to an end one day! Still trying my best to heal from it
Great job straight up ignoring the Bible. “Not a sin”. This is exactly why this trash ideology of “it is ok to sin” is terrible. Mentalities like yours end up being born.
Paul constantly blames the bloke she had sex with but we don't hear his side. The American Christian culture puts far more laws and guilty on young Christians than the bible does. So glad I live in the UK. I remained a virgin till marriage but thank God I didn't have US culture. It's oppressive
Thanks for sharing! My husband and I had pre-marital sex (with others before each other AND with eachother before coming to Christ). Even though our stories are very different, it’s helpful to hear these stories from other believers. I’d be curious to know if you’ve had issues in your marriage because of having had pre-marital sex (we definitely did at the beginning) and if it was a struggle to “start over” and wait until marriage.
Thanks so much for sharing! Can very much relate, tho I ended up getting pregnant 😬 thankfully the guy stayed with me and we’re married now expecting our fourth 😅 I would LOVE to hear more about how your BPD affects your marriage, and any strategies you have to deal with it in a healthy way. Been one of many things that I’ve struggled with that has really hurt my husband and obviously I don’t want that yet it has seemed uncontrollable most of the time.
Thank you for sharing, so many good things to learn from! It is so very hard to break the silence and ask for help/admit wrong. Especially with crossing boundaries in relationships. My husband and I did not have sex before marriage, thank God, but we definitely got closer than I ever imagined. I wish I would’ve known who to talk to to address some patterns. I have wonderful godly parents as well, but would’ve been more comfortable opening up to someone else. There’s so much shame around sexual sin in the Christian circle. Those kinds of patterns before marriage do carry over into marriage, it just looks different. Thankfully my husband and I are happily married and have worked through those things!
I feel for Paul. I wish she wouldn’t have laughed so much sharing this in the beginning because it’s a serious topic. But it could just be her being nervous. As well as going down that road of vulnerability. Deep down, It is hard to hear something like this from the person you love. Especially coming from a different standpoint of waiting before marriage. I understand him completely. But through God, love and understanding that is where we understand that, that is their past and they are a new creation in Jesus. God bless you both ❤️
You feel for Paul? He's the one being a complete fucking weirdo asking for his wife to give him a play by play of past sexual experiences for EVERYONE ON RUclips TO SEE.
Amen Morgan, thank you for sharing. I have a similar story and praise God for his redemption. I’m now happily married to a godly man who leads me spiritually and has never put me down for my past. ❤️
I am thankful for you that God gave you such a wonderful testimony and redeemed you and your life. I had a friend who had a similar life and God redeemed her life, too. She ended up in a wonderful marriage. Mine wasn't as blessed and when temptation came my way, I just assumed God would do the same for me, too. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I lied about my past which added sin to sin. I was afraid of losing him. I was not a Christian, but I knew right from wrong. After getting married and then getting saved, I confessed. Didn't go like yours did. Sin will take you further than you want to go, make you pay more than you want to pay, and make you stay longer than you want to stay. Spent the first half of my life ruining the second half. God has forgiven me, but still there are consequences.
You know what, I was trying to write a response that justified premarital sex in todays day and age but the more I tried to give an example, the more I realized it wasn't really a justification to have sex and not marry. Honestly, I can only say that every person has to aim for purity of heart and the absolute avoidance of sin. I still dont think poorly on premarital sex, but I do think it is not the best choice. And honestly, the cristian and catholic traditional way of dating is preety much bulletproof if both parts are willing to truly commit to the way it should be. You meet people in church (already in church), which allows you to see if they hold the same values and beliefs as you do and their commitment. You go out and chat and talk about life and plans and dreams and hobbies. You figure out creative ways to spend time together without it being a recipie for lust and sin, so you find out the true passions and interests of eachother, yoj end uo sharing hobbies and perspectives. And since there is no sex at the end of the date or for the weekend both parts have to truly enjoy that time and be clear about how much they are liking the dinamic and the activities and the dates. Honesty is cultivated there, patience, self control, creativity, communication... and then, when both parts think they are on track for more, they get the community envolved directly in their relationship. Mom, dad, pastor, counseling, friends... everybody is going to point out little things and make the hard quesions. And then the couple gets engaged, and they go through real counseling and harder questions and resisting temptation cuz now that marriage is a promise with a date sex is around the corner right? And then the real hard struggle of containning that lust is presented. And lust is not bad, but it is a very dangerous weapon for evil to use to move someone towards sin and poor choices. So, the engagement and ciuncelkng period begins and the relationship goes through real pressure. And if both parts are jonest and they are both holding God and his will as the most sacred thing in existance, then the test is actually hard because both parts know they can't lie to God and if both parts are honest, and there happens to be a real problem, then it is gonna get brought up. So once you are set for marriage, you've been through dating and being formaly in a relationship and being observed and then engaged and much more heavily observed and called out and all of that, you get married. And the community stays there, slowly backing up, but still present and envolved. That is the setup for success if done properly. And it will take at least 2 years for most couples to go from "I like you and I would like to date you" to "Now we are married honey". And still, tradition calls for a honeymoon phase and then a restructuring phase and then the children. So, what? 2 years of marriage? 4 years of intentionally setting up that marriage for success before it becomes a family that will bring new life to this world. Believe me, that is better than 6 years of "we will figure it out, I will worry later. He will settle down and change", "her mood will get better, she has to mature some day", "maybe I can talk her into my way", "yeah, we dont agree much and we dont share interests but sex is great and you would be surprised how much it solves".
That was so powerful, Morgan. I really appreciate your honesty. We need such encouragement and GOD uses people of all background to glorify and testify. I totally agree with Paul when he said she said some important life lessons. God bless your family and use you more mightily in the coming days through this platform. Love you guys.
I’ve had a similar story and past and it’s difficult. But I also remembered that it took me so long to not feel shame and sinful because of it. It’s been a journey but a couple years ago I really gave my life to Jesus for real and I understood what Jesus did for me on the Cross in a way I never did before and I received his forgiveness like it never happened. And recently I’ve had to remember that I’m forgiven for it and that’s not my identity and I’m not a lesser Christian.
Probably the reason you weren’t being asked about your relationship is they already knew or could sense what was going on ? And people don’t want to have the hard conversations because they have their own shame and guilt to deal with.
Also, I can definitely relate to losing myself in a relationship...only difference is this guy wasn't Christian at all...I think I desired love so much, that I let go of everything I believed in and desired in a relationship...it was a month and a half, but it was a long month and a half...I finally broke up with him after so much time of wrestling with the way I was living and what the Holy spirit was pressing on me.
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Fam! Comment below and let us know if any of Morgan’s story resonated/encouraged you!
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I’m going through this right now. Same exact situation, except my boyfriend told me he doesn’t agree with waiting for anything and won’t. Morgan, how did you leave or break up with him? Just like you he’s all I have and I’m stuck
I'm still convinced that Morgan and I dated the same guy 😂 When I was 17, I started dating a guy who I told the first time I met him I was waiting until marriage. He was a worship leader, I basically worked at my church, we seemed to be on the same page. Next thing you know, he's literally throwing my purity ring out his car window 😅 Although my ex might be slightly worse, because now he's in jail lol. But girl, I relate so much. Life is wild!
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Brave lovely lass, I hope you know only He can judge .... and blot out sins. I pray you don't get much haters, I thought you did very well. I didn't even know you had BPD. Go girl #sharing x 🇬🇧
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this story with us Morgan! And Paul is such a good sport and I’m so proud you’re both able to see what a positive impact this testimony has and will continue to have in the lives of others. I appreciate the advice and Morgan being able to reflect on her past and what could be helpful to others in preventing the same situation or just in steering them back towards God if they are currently still in that situation. It was a blessing for me, God bless you guys !!
She should’ve done this video alone… Paul did not need to give his input on her storytime about her past. They could have added a segment to discuss and pick apart her storytime afterwards. So frustrating to hear him interrupt every 30 seconds or so. Is it her storytime or his?
Think hes hurting
Nervous
I really liked hearing Morgan tell her story. I wish she had done this video solo though.
Definitely- this is the first video I've watched of theirs and it kinda put me off a bit. Will try at least one more.
Nope. I'm glad he asked questions, because he asked every question I wanted to ask.
Super awkward. He's obviously not going to be super at ease with his wife's previous sex life. With the little, this is 'thick', hit the subscribe button, I forgive the other man interjections (no one was asking for your forgiveness) and the silly looking face, he simply diminishes any seriousness that might be there in the conversation.
@@KJ-lb4tj - He is nervous about it.
Isn’t it funny how things happen and we’ll tell ourselves I’ll never let anybody know the truth in a million years! But here God gives you the freedom and you’re literally sharing your story to a whole room of people or the entire Internet!!! You rock Morgan!!
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Although I don't agree with y'all's view, there are still important things to glean from this story, and I appreciate that Morgan seems to be sharing from a healthier and more confident place. The important things are to know your own mind, stand up for what you truly want for yourself so that you are not wasting your time and emotions on people who are not pouring into you. I don't believe one has to wait. There are ways to respect yourself and your partner(s) and have sex. I think the religious obsession with sex / purity is gross, as it's actually very objectifying, and probably causes more problems within people's minds alone than it cures. I think the traditional religious view on sex is being turned on its head so much these days because people are having more experiences that prove to them that waiting and marriage are not guarantees of a good partner or anything good to come. For example: Those who have had (or witnessed) damaging, religious marriages AND then a healthier, unmarried sexual relationship with someone else. Long rant - sorry.
There’s an obvious imbalance in their relationship because of this…..
How so? I think they’ve balanced it out beautifully and she now has a man that is a strong spiritual leader. Also … they didn’t post this to ask for your judgment. God balanced them out and blesses their marriage and now they’re using it to help others. Isn’t that what we’re called to do? We all have a past of some sort … we’re all sinners, our sins don’t have to be the same as each others and they don’t have to be equal for us to have a healthy “balanced” marriage.
There should be an imbalance, bible says husband > wife
@@Samnoid the Bible doesn't say that. Please find the passage, all citations needed. I'm sure you will find a lot about leadership etc. You won't find anything about husbands being greater or more powerful than their wives.
@@CS-mf5un whatever you want to call it lmao. Men lead women, that’s the way it should be
@@Samnoid 1 Peter 3:7
It’s amazing how our stories of sin can later be used to help others. I was not a Christian growing up. In fact I was 38 when I was saved. I was extremely promiscuous and God has forgiven me for all of it. Thank you for telling your story ❤🙏🏻
Amen, God’s mercy and forgiveness is amazing🙏
Hahaha God doesn't exist. And nobody needs to be "forgiven" lol for having consensual non monogamous sex.
That mindset of one thing leading to another is a very slippery slope. Thank you, Morgan, for being very transparent and poignant in sharing that part of your spiritual struggle. There are guys out there who, for whatever reason, will say many things to get into some pretty gal's life, even long-term. You are so right about finding Godly people to be accountable to, wonderful support, time in HIs Word every day, and especially a wonderful man who is willing to grow and lead. There may be times when the couple makes mistakes even then, but the difference is the direction of the relationship, and the part that each person is willing to play in the continuation of their devotion to God within that relationship. My beau leads us in prayer without any prompting from me, he sees me struggling, takes my hands, and prays with me right there. He is reading more of the Bible on his own. He asks me every day what I need from him, and is willing to be of service from his heart. I am amazed at God's grace that I finally found that. I am grateful that you found that in your life, too.
As someone who lived through purity culture and the shame it heaps on people I will never agree with this. I had sex before marriage and my ex husband did not. The church and even my parents made it out like I should be so grateful for him. He was never a good husband. Oh he was an "awesome" Christian went to seminary and taught and blah, blah, blah... he treated me poorly. He and I were not sexually compatible at all. I was treated with more love and kindness from the guy I had sex with before marriage than my then husband. My new husband and I lived together before marriage and made love regularly. He helped heal my hurt with his kindness and his body. My daughters are being taught their bodies are precious and sex is valuable but not off limits. They should think about how and with whom they share it but not make a shrine around sex.
the part where u said “he helped heal my hurt through his kindness and body” is so beautiful and sweet. Sex is meant to be healing with the right person and i dont think it matters if u have it before or after marriage. It’s all about being with the right person who is genuinely a good person. I hope you’ve healed through any shame ignorant ppl put u through 💕
@bitchesgonbebitchesluvthemhoes it took me a long time, but I've moved into an amazing head space about the hurt and trauma I experienced at the hands of the church and Christians. My husband helped me and, by extension, helped my daughters as well. He and I have raised them to k ow their worth isn't derived from their virginity but who they are as humans. Their bio father refuses to speak to them because they are their own amazing young women, and he can't hurt them with his hateful behavior. They love their dad (my husband) and trust him more than the guy who shared his DNA with them. Like you said... the right person... that's what matters!
@@j.moto3435 @j.moto3435 yeah, he was in that category for sure. He was insecure but the reason he didn't break up with me is because we didn't exactly have a common relationship. He and my dad thought God told them we should get married. I went along because I was trying to be a "good" daughter and I stayed to be a "good" wife and mother.
@@sondrabaz9509may the lord open your eyes to see the truth someday. I’m sorry for your experience but that doesn’t determine what is right.
God’s word has the final authority. It’s up to us whether we want to believe and obey Him.
@thumpmusician340 my eyes are wide open. I go to an amazing church that understands people are fallen and need to be met where they are not have judgment hurled at them. We explore the actual meaning of the Bible and how so many of the words that we associate with Christianity are actually NOT in the original text or they have lumped several words into one for "brevity" or to help things be more "understandable". Like for instance, the word hell, it's not a word in Hebrew or Greek... it's several words that are rolled into one word. So don't come at me with your holier than thou attitude as if you have any understanding of me and my relationship with Christ.
Thank you Morgan for sharing. This was beautiful.
I can't help but pause as you stated that your boyfriend did a really good job of presenting himself as someone different when he was with you. After seeing the video of him, you finally broke up with him. That was after 8 months if I'm correct.
While, I agree long term dating certainly has its struggles, this kind of helps support my worries about dating for shorter periods of time. I honestly can't imagine just meeting someone and then getting engaged after just 5 months. (It's different if you've been friends for awhile before) There are some people who are incredibly skilled at presenting themselves as who they think you want them to be. I've seen it sooooo many times. For myself, I would want to know someone a full year before getting engaged. I guess I have some trust issues, but I've just known some very skilled manipulators. Marriage is a BIG deal, and I want to know 100% that I can trust this person. For me trust is built, earned and fostered overtime and solidified through actions rather than words.
Paul, while I know for some two years of being together can be a bad idea. I know it's possible to maintain purity for this long because I know multiple people who have been successful in doing so. I would never assume that a couple who's been together for two years is sexually active. I really think it depends on the ccouple.
I respect ya'll and support you. So hopefully I am not coming on too strong. Wish ya'll the best!
I hear you girl. But I will say that looking back, if I really wanted to, I could have seen who this guy really was. Much quicker! But I purposefully ignored the very clear signs that he was not what I was looking for in a man. Probably 3 months in I knew that deep down. 😕
Paul and I dated for 4 months and although we certainly learned things in our marriage about one another, it was never THAT surprising. Because we were incredibly intentional and I did not go in with blinders on my eyes. Nor did he. 😊
Appreciate your thoughts!
I would add that the only couple I know who dated multiple years ( 7, actually! They met at 15 & 16 ) AND maintained purity only did so by not kissing WHATSOEVER - just hand holding and maybe a forehead or cheek kiss. They prayed about what they're physical boundaries should be " should we kiss? " And God was like, very audibly " NO ". They felt that maintaining very strict physical boundaries was imperative because they lived several states away, and on each visit, there was always the deep urge to " kick it up a notch" which... If you're not even kissing... Is a pretty small, very limited notch ; maybe they'd *intensely* hold hands.
At any rate, they've been happily married several years now, and honestly, looking back on my own dating experience ( I'm also happily married for several years ) I can't really make a case FOR kissing while only dating, the cons and risks FAR outweigh the pros, in my opinion, whereas I can make several great cases for NOT kissing while dating. Making out is like the " gateway drug ", and honestly, it's just not necessary in only dating. 🤷♀️
@@cora_99 I think there's a lot of wisdom there!
@@PaulandMorgan yes! Intentional dating is so important 100%! I know lots of couples who have very successful marriages and they have similar timeliness of dating. From start to finish my parents knew each other for 8 months before getting married. (About 1/2 of it was long distance)
I think I'm kind of damaged by a lot of the deception and failed marriages I have witnessed in my extended family. I have difficulty trusting people. So I know it's kind of a me problem. I'm willing to own that.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I , too, wanted to wait until marriage. I was very sheltered in high school, and then went away to college. I fell in love with an unbeliever, and I was not walking closely with God. I felt like I could win him over and help him to become a believer. That was not the case. We ended up having sex outside of marriage, and I felt like I needed to marry him because of that. If we wouldn't have had sex, I would not have chosen him to be my husband. After 7 years of marriage and a son, we divorced for unbiblical reasons. Now, I do not feel at peace about remarriage because my divorce was not biblical. I can be content and happy as a single person for the rest of my life. I know God has forgiven me, but that doesn't erase the consequences of sin. I wish so badly there would have been someone in my life that I could have talked to about waiting, and putting God first in all my choices. I was young, dumb and no way ready for marriage at 19. I hope and pray that your video and your testimony will help others in the same situation. You have given me motivation and have inspired me to share my testimony and my experience with others, so hopefilly they won't make the same mistake. Thank you, Morgan and Paul.
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this and being so real with us. Yes! Share your story and encourage others! 💜🙏🏼
i....hmmm... i dont want to sound un empathetic.....but i feel its important to point out....the thing that was wrong here was thinking you HAD to marry someone you had sex with. And thats brainwashing from church and current christian culture. i wouldve had a very similar story to you if i'd bought that brainwashing. conversion dating. my first real love was with an atheist. But, we broke up a few times and the last time I decided was final. It wasn't a healthy relationship overall and marriage would've been a mistake. But I healed and moved on by reflecting on the positive, that I DID love the man at the time. It was the first time I loved someone on a deeper level like that. And I don't want to go through life, ever regretting having LOVED someone. Love is never a waste of time. And as such, I feel plenty at peace over the intimacy that was had and I made my peace with that long ago. And it never became an issue in my now marriage. Notice how often people outside of church are doing better at healing and being functional when it comes to sex and relationships, and this culture meanwhile is keeping you in BONDAGE....instead of the freedom God, i think, calls us to.
When you share your testimony with others, maybe the focus should be on ....not marrying someone just because you slept with them. that is quite clearly unwise to anyone in their 20s.
Okay but God hates divorce because it breaks covenant.
But it dosen't mean divorce is completely unbiblical theres a bunch of scriptures that give reasons for divorce.
But ask God, just please don't believe the lie you can never marry again. either let God heal whats broken or give you something new. whether thats remarriage or singleness, whatever that looks like for you with God.
He knows.
either way I know He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you to give you a hope and a future.
I fell in love with an unbeliever and had the same mindset that I could save him. I also made sure to let him know that I was saving sex for marriage but never set up any boundaries. Fortunately we both agreed that we were dating for marriage and I can say that he really meant that.
I also am thankful that we were long distance, because although it sucked not being with him in person, it meant that there was no chance of having premarital sex. If we weren’t long distance tho, I could’ve seen us getting married, and it would’ve ended up like your situation as well.
I want to comfort you by saying that God doesn’t require you to remain single forever. Matthew 19:6 says “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
What I want to point out here is “what GOD has joined together, let no man separate.” However, God doesn’t join together every relationship. Some are joined out of our own desires and pride. God may had led to you two divorcing because it’s not a marriage that He created. I believe that God has a true godly man out there who will lead you just as Christ leads the Church. You may choose to be single, but I truly believe that if you desire, that God will allow you to enter into another relationship and be freed from the baggage from your old one❤❤
I love the fact that you are choosing your Godly conviction over what other people MAY say (like it’s ok to remarry). I do want to say/ask this however; did he remarry/have sex with anyone else since the two of you divorced? If so, I believe you are in your biblical rights to remarry. Ultimately, please please please, follow the conviction Holy Spirit is giving you over anything I say. I only asked that question because I don’t want the guilt of what you did in the past to be what you are calling Godly conviction, because I have been there as well. I believe that you are able to remarry if the other person has been with someone else since the two of you divorced. God bless
I have been in this situation I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost two years now and I’m really mad when I fall in to sexual sin I want to live for JESUS and this video made me realize some things thank you for the story GOD BLESS YOU!
Don’t compromise🙏
That's awesome bro
"Shut your mouth Paul, let the woman speak!"
Truer words have never been spoken 😂
😂😂
This is SO refreshing to hear. I have a similar story. I really wanted to honor God and was broken by my sin in a relationship.. the guy I was with put on a really good act, in front of my parents and at church and to me.. He wasn’t truly interested in God and I came to find out that he was a completely different man around his friends. I totally understand the depression, shame and darkness that comes with living in sin for long periods of time and hiding in the shame and secrecy of it all. Praise God for his redemptive story! He has saved me from myself. This encourages me to tell my story with excitement for how God has redeemed me. Thanks for sharing!
Amennnn girl! 💜👏🏼 love this so much!
Hi! I became a patron of your channel back in 2019 when I was very isolated and you guys were the only Christian community I really had 💚
I just wanted to let you know that I know you get so many things said about you which are just vile and slanderous, but what you're doing is beautiful and impactful and valued.
I was in a "situationship" a year or so ago and it would have been so easy to cross physical boundaries with that person. I can honestly say that it is due at least in part to the fact that your channel got me to rethink and better define my own boundaries that I didn't become physical in that situation and don't have any of those regrets 💚 Seeing your healthy, faith filled marriage also helped me realize how much was missing in that situation and let it go. So thank you both, and so much love! 💚
Aww praise God! That’s so encouraging to hear❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing! I had a similar experience.
Young ladies who may be watching this: if a man doesn’t want you to share with others about slipping up and wants to keep it in the dark. Don’t. Always tell your mentor.
Amen🙏
Kudos to Morgan to speak of her experience while every other sentence was edited by Paul. Kudos to Paul to semi contain yourself throughout this tale. Paul I believe that I’d feel as you do and in a way have ptsd over it as a follower. If you believe you’re “over it” I believe the term denial comes to mind. Morgan needs to continually support the insecurities that this produced. It appears you do and do it patiently and understand how vulnerable this can make the man who loves you feel. Godbless you both. I credit you both. Imo I believe as you did toward the later part (as you yourself said) “let the woman talk.” I think being transparent about this will help other young men and woman to stay committed to your beliefs. It’s a tough story for a man of any age to hear each and every time. Keep the love flowing. You’re both wonderful.
I always forget how similar Morgan's story is to mine. Though, I will say, there was definitely an intentionality and manipulative quality present on behalf of the man I was dating.
And, as a lesson to any single ladies reading this, if the man says he respects your boundaries, but then consistently pushes at those boundaries...Run!
Seriously.
Thank you for sharing, Michaela🙏 Agreed
Thank you for your vulnerability Morgan you are a blessing to the lost sheep in this present dating world as well as confirmation to those dating according to God’s guidelines. Paul how absolutely beautiful to see your loving and protective heart towards Morgan. ❤❤ The mention of not discussing or having boundaries in place reminded me of a book I gave to all our kids The Ten Commandments of Dating, excellent book ! Blessings on your much needed ministry ✝️☝️🙏
@Andy Rick Oh, I will gladly take responsibility for my own choices. However, it's funny how you feel so confident in your assertion that I am man bashing when you do not know me or my story. Those who do have that knowledge know that this is an intentionally vague and relatively light hearted comment so as to avoid actually bashing the person in question. I believe in the redemptive power of the Holy Spirit and refuse to make willy-nilly comments that may condemn the person he is today. I don't know that man.
As for you, maybe you shouldn't be going into comment sections full of women being vulnerable about their pasts and being a voice of condemnation. It's not very christ-like.
Eloquently, caring and wisely spoken 🌹Michaela, thanks for keeping it classy!
Paul, I wanna correct you on something (in love)
2 1/2 years is a long time to wait in Protestant circles, but I don’t see this problem as often among practicing Catholic young adults.
When I was a Protestant, I remember it was VERY common to see ppl get hitched within a few months of knowing each other, and looking back, I think it’s a terrible idea.. in large part, very juvenile and a reflection of not taking marriage seriously enough. Or practicing self control over desires..
In the Catholic Church, you must do a mandatory 8 months of premarital counseling before marriage.. and that’s after engagement. Which means most people are dating for at LEAST 2 years before getting married. As you should, since it’s the second most important decision you ever make (behind choosing to follow the Lord).
There’s this odd hedonistic, spiritually immature attitude in most Protestant circles that goes something like “well we might as well go ahead and get married so that we don’t stumble into sin” and I just can’t imagine feeling like you’re ready for marriage if that’s your line of reasoning. It makes it about the sex, rather than the covenant in my opinion. It’s just like so disordered..
As usual - another Christian thinks another denomination of Christianity is “doing it wrong.”
🙄
You don't need to embrace the falsehood of catholicism to date for 2 years
M|9dr1xv8z .... although I think you're correct, please, may I suggest a "kinder and gentler method" to avoid casting aspersions toward our fellow Christians.
1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
You chastised them people for obeying the Bible?
“Most Protestant circles”. Be more charitable to your fellow Christian brothers. Catholics hate when other branches of Christianity generalise them, now they do it to others
For me, I slept with fiance at 18 I was saving myself for marriage and figured I was going to marry this person so I did it. Turns out he wasn't who I thought he was and we broke up when I was 21. This breakup and the fact that I broke my promise to God threw me into depression and I started drinking and sleeping with anyone. I had a child at 24 and met my now husband at 27. I re dedicated my life to Christ and now have a fulfilling life as a wife and mother of 3. It's amazing what the Lord will bring you out of when you FULLY give your life to him. :)
spiraling into a depression and drinking and having reckless, harmful sex......I just want to say is not normal. It is not a normal reaction to breaking up with someone you had premarital sex with. Gosh i read some of these comments and its like, people dont see the results of purity culture right under their noses.
I had premarital sex with someone i wanted to marry. it didnt work out. yeah i was really sad. but goodness, i didnt start drinking and sleeping with everyone. I carried on dating and tried to carefully vet people. met my husband, had premarital sex, now we're married and its pretty fulfilling.
You dont have to go through all these extra steps. ......the church is so screwed up on sex wow
Grief and heartbreak, darkness and depression look different for everyone. i probably would have done the same thing regardless of faith. That is my testimony and shows the power of what happens when you dont take Gods standards seriously. Praise God that he is able to break people of sin and lifestyle. Its also important to have these kinds of conversation that Paul and Morgan are bringing up and its obvious why.
@LizS817 I think its important to have these conversations but it looks like a big echo chamber in here. And fair enough if you probably would have done that regardless of faith. But I just feel like, its real dangerous to put the onus on premarital sex as if thats what's causing these things for people or for someone like you, when we don't all derail our lives because of it. Many of us go on just fine. and i think part of the reason i turned out okay was EXPLICITLY because i stopped believing the church about their dogmas on sex. I didnt stop believing in God. but i could see....what church teaches about sex and supposedly is "godly"....just wasn't adding up. glad i didnt follow that path.
I wonder if this could be me in the future🥲 I lost my virginity earlier when I was a teenager. That made me continue to take the same bad choices with future boyfriends, and now I'm 24 and pregnant with a non-believer who has cheated on me not too long ago.. and I feel like my life is over.. I try to be positive but I feel like I'm stuck with him.. for several reasons.. where I'm feelikg pressed to marry him ... but really hoping things were different and I could find a christian man. But now it seems like too late, or too difficult.
@@light-off28 what I learned is that it is NEVER too late to start new. Get connected in your local church preferably one that offers Biblical counseling. Start praying and reading your Bible and genuinely ask the Lord for guidance. The moment I surrendered my situation to God, repented I was able to turn from the lifestyle I was living. Best of Luck to you! ❤❤
Morgan- I'm so sorry that you've been made to feel such shame about your past, and that your husband continues to perpetuate this shame and trauma for RUclips views and to stroke his own fragile ego.
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I second this...
Yes THIS
It's not a fragile ego he wanted a virgin and he didn't get it, and she and women should feel shame who say they're Christian but really aren't if you are not a Christian and you are not a virgin it's not a problem because she was his first everything but he wasn't
@@Oppenhiemer1 lol
This was bold Morgan, may this reach the eyes and ears of those who need to hear this! Praying Colossians 4:6 over you. I can relate to the secretive element of sexual sin. Thankfully I broke the silence, due to the loving kindness of my parents. Sharing was liberating and the shame skidaddled, allowing for healing and wholeness once more. Jesus is kind and we need each other...sidenote, loving all the luscious green foliage 🌿
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Do not awaken love until it pleases! Absolutely. Loved the story. Love that Paul was able to accept your past, but I also loved that he cared about purity.
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Exactly.
Paul loves the fact that he can hold this over he forever. He's soulless.
@@lenin1949 It probably hurts Paul to think about. I highly doubt he holds it over her.
@@lenin1949 not everyone is like you stop projecting
My story definitely has a lot of similarities, though my husband and I did end up getting married. We got together when I was 15 and he was 17, and were together for 3 and a half years before we got married, simply because we had to wait until I was 18 to get married. We shouldn't have been allowed to be in a serious relationship at that young of an age, not because we weren't mature enough (we were both the oldest siblings in our families and pretty mature for our age), but because our parents weren't willing to let us get married before the age of 18. We didn't have accountability whatsoever. We were both raised in the church, but at the time, my family had recently left the church altogether, his was not doing well at all, and we were left to our own devices. Three years is toooooooo long of a time. We kept pushing the envelope a little more and a little more and a little more. Like Paul said, a few years into a dating relationship and one would be hard pressed to believe that a couple dating that long wouldn't be having sex. There was so much guilt for me personally while we were dating because I knew sex before marriage was wrong, and I was doing the exact same thing in saying "okay, we crossed a line, let's not do that again." My now husband didn't pressure me and was always so kind and loving, and he himself had the same convictions, but I know that it is hard for a man to have been engaged in a regular sex life and then just cut off from it at random, whenever either of us would get to feeling too guilty. Praise the Lord that though we know that it was obviously wrong to be intimate before marriage, guilt and shame are not part of our marriage today. We have been married for 5 years and couldn't be happier ❤️ our families have both continued to go away from the faith in many ways, but praise God that we got together at such a young age and have been able to grow in Christ together. If I had been allowed to go one more year following the trajectory that my family was headed down,or if he had, who knows where we would be today. God knows, and he works all things for his glory, but we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble if we had had a church, or family accountability, or anything to help us along.
Wow, I’m amazed at how similar my story is to yours. Praise the Lord that we got saved at the age of 19 and got married shortly after…
I’ve never related so much to a comment on RUclips! I’m currently 18 walking through a very similar situation
But it's also your parents fault for not letting you get married at 15?
@@lenin1949 no, it wasn't their fault at all, it was our own decision. And it really wasn't an issue for us when I was 15, not until I was 17 and 18 was looking more and more like an arbitrary number. I was no more mature the day I turned 18 than I had been the year I was 17. It would have been helpful to us to have more accountability with my parents by either not allowing us to date at all before we were old enough to marry, or by keeping a close eye on us, not allowing us to spend soooooo much time alone and unsupervised. The thing is, parents DO have a responsibility to steward their children well while they are under the age of 18, so my parents should have either helped in some ways to prevent us from sinning, or allowed us to marry to avoid sin all together. Parents do not have the right to knowingly allow their child to sin.
@@emilydobbins5154 Dude what? Mature enough to be married at 17, but also needed your parents' supervision to stay pure until marriage?
Also, "knowingly allow their child to sin." You ever think maybe what you were doing was fine? That your own values and those of your family were wrong? Do you think maybe this is why your respective families havd drifted away, they didn't want literal children to experience this torment?
No, I don't think your parents should have let you get married. Your marriage is very likely to end in divorce according to statistics. That's just my piece.
It cracks me up (and disgusts me that he is getting off by judging her) how MUCH he interrupts Morgan in order to convince himself.
HOWEVER! Her admission that she “LOVES” talking about her past helps 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
And yet his facial expressions of distain are terrifying (and hilarious)
This channel never fails to exhibit the mindf*ck that it is.
It's not disgusting, it's honest. And he has every right to feel like that, as every spouse should. If the situation was reversed and she felt like that, would you say the same?
@@billy503 ABSOLUTELY
Dont be a selfish resnetful girl! The man is hurting, hes Jealous, he has every reason to be. Imagine all your life you save yourself for a future spouse as a gift to them. You ignore all the sexual pressure internally and externally, you ignore the shame being a virgin just to honor your future spouse. When u meet your spouse you find out they gave them self away, they made a bond with someone else and did not use wisdom. Wouldn't that hurt ? A unwrapped gift for them now.. its so unfair.
So before you come against this man, maybe turn ur brain on and stop being so damn simple mindded and selfish. The Man is hurting ! And For a Good Reason!
@@Star-bp5jjwhy didn't he wait for a virgin then? Why did he "settle"? He didn't have to. He could have found a virgin.
@@madisontipton4919 Thats a fair question and I understand the reasoning behind it. But perhaps he didnt think it was going to be an issus, he might have thought hey Ill be a good Christian boy and look past it. Ill be forgiving and give grace. Sometimes we dont know we have an issue or a problem with something until we do. I think his pain matters, how he feels is very isolating and gut wrenching from his prespective. In this age when women get so much emotional support and men get nothing in terms of help and understanding is sickening.
If it was the case that he had a problem and still married her, I think that is a deeper problem in the church. Today pastors shame men and encourage women, "You need to forgive and Forget" "You need to be more loving" "Her past does not matter" ......When in many partical cases, it does matter.... Most of the church in the west has really stopped giving Good Pratical advice for Men, we have pastors the encouraging this type of behavior where you just need to forgive, but forgivness and dealing with the pain are two different things, you can forgive but have deep hurt, sometimes the issue is bigger then the person. Hyperspiritual leaders who have abandon pratical understand of consequences and how some things are more complicated and need a more practical approach.
So if your right about him waiting for someone thats a Virgin then I see ur point, and perhaps there is something to say there but hes not the only one to blame
P.S, Im not here to attack women, I understand Morgan is struggling too, but I am just defending the dude as many people on here are absolutely without Mercy on how he is feeling.. and well thats Not ok.
Hi dear Morgan and Paul! I really appreciate your honesty and openness! I just want to say once I heard a story from another girl who wanted to save herself for marriage, but she also met the wrong guy and the things happened what she didn’t wanted to happen. I liked it how she described her situation, she said maybe she is no more a virgin physically but spiritually she is a virgin again, bcoz the Lord forgave her and made her new from inside after she stopped and repented! Amen!
You know me and my husband weren’t believers until our mid twenties we met in the church and we also wanted to wait until our wedding night, it was really hard to wait, but we were together like for 10 months so it wasn’t too long, it was possible to save sex for our marriage! You know what my husband then fiancé was telling me, he told me, it doesn’t matter the guy is a believer or not, it is the guy who will decide it and even if the girl doesn’t want the guy will be able to manipulate her in to doing it, he told me also it doesn’t matter how the girl is in her faith, max a week and the guy can make her to sleep with him, he told me also if he wanted he could also manipulate me in to doing it before marriage, but bcoz it is a big sin and it was our desire to wait, he still would marry me, bcoz he truly loved me, but it is just a prospective from a man who wasn’t a believer then became a believer! And it’s still so unfair bcoz always later the girl will be shamed and all say it’s her fault and the guy is like a victim! It is so difficult in this fallen world, Morgan was sooo young and our brain is like that, if there is a depression our brain will search for some quick relief to feel better, it doesn’t understand the consequences of such quick reliefs!
God bless you!
I can so relate Morgan! Thank you for sharing! Any man that leads you into sin, is definitely not God’s will(I say this from experience). We didn’t have sex, but once one line was crossed, another soon was crossed. It’s surprising how quickly you become comfortable with sin. But like you I wasn’t in the Word like I normally was! I was praying for my will! Loneliness and grief was a weakness the devil got a foothold in! The truth always comes out in the end! I have like you, took my own accountability! Learnt from my mistakes and not to fill voids in my flesh, that only God can fill in the Spirit. I thank God for being patient and forgiving with me! That he saved me from myself! And the wrong man! We know clearly what the Bible says about the marriage covenant and like Paul rightly states! “A Godly man is a leader, he loves you like Christ!” Since I surrendered about the sin in my heart and flesh, the Lord has blessed me, I thank Him everyday for that. I was miserable in sin! Your story is so very relatable! Timed perfectly to help me feel understood and many other’s. God bless you both.
Morgan, you did wonderfully sharing your story and I'm sure it'll be a huge encouragement to so many others! Thank you!
Paul, you had a lot of great add-ins to Morgan's points and I love your example of forgiveness and acceptance when someone is a new creature in Christ! At the same time, your statement that when you've heard that someone's dated for two-and-half years, you're almost assuming sex is happening was so insulting. Just because a couple is dating for a couple of years does not mean they're living together, nor does it say anything about how much nonsexual physical affection they're giving each other. You have to be able to consistently see what a person's like at their best and worst to know what they're really like and just because someone is dating longer than you personally suggest, it doesn't say anything about if they're having sex. Don't just make disgusting assumptions about other believers simply because they don't agree with you on how long is a reasonable amount of time to date. Love believes and hopes all things.
Thank you so much Morgan for sharing! I do struggle with this. The loneliness and wanting someone to grow old with. The desire for sexual intimacy, but within a marriage. Trying to find a Christian man. But left with so much disappointment with trying to meet one. Even the dating apps have left me with a heaviness in my heart. Thinking that these men would conduct themselves in a Godly manner, and they don’t. And living in a world of sin. I feel like I only find men of the world. I have shared my desire with God for companionship. And try to leave it at His feet. As I move forward in my life. I work on accepting that I might live a life where that desire for companionship may not be His desire for me.
I can deeply relate to this. I appreciate how you ended your comment. I see so many Christians make comments about how if you set your heart and desires upon Godly things and have a pure heart, then God will grant the desires of your heart. I just see no support of this in scripture. This is theology straight from the Devil.
We have to be willing to submit ourselves to the will of the Father and accept that His will doesn't necessarily always match our wills. He has greater plans than we have for ourselves. Sometimes those plans include loss, tragedy and the letting go of our personal dreams.
We don't know God's will, so while praying and seeking guidance in looking for a husband is totally okay, we can't make it a idol in our lives.
We must submit ourselves to God, seek to grow in our relationship with him, gain wisdom and do our best to fulfill the responsibilities we have in all areas of our lives. Be the best Godly you, you can be (by God's grace) and put yourself in situations where you can meet someone. The rest is in God's hands. 🙂
@@johannastromberg1224 thank you for the encouragement!
I DEFINITELY didn’t expect your story. I usually assume if someone doesn’t end up saving themselves for marriage it’s because they didn’t intend to from the get-go. Thank you so much for sharing because as Paul said this must be the case for SO MANY people who set out trying to do the right thing and unknowingly (or knowingly) open a door to the enemy.
I knew my husband was the man I was going to marry before we dated because I asked The Lord for confirmation. That did make it kind of harder to wait because we knew where our relationship was headed and that we’d eventually be husband and wife.
We intended to have a longer engagement, but by Holy Spirit’s leading we ended up only being engaged for three days before we had our small wedding because God wasn’t calling us to draw things out. I was 23 and he was 30, so we didn’t have a ton of accountability (even though we asked for it) because everyone was like “you’re grown, so do what you want”.
In the end-by God’s grace-we did make it to the marriage bed both as virgins, but it wouldn’t have happened without The Lord because we are imperfect and humans can be pretty impatient when we want something.
Loveee this story girl! Wow! 3 days!! That’s amazing hahaha. Praise God y’all made it! 💜🙏🏼
@@PaulandMorgan Lol! Yes, we made it and I’m still amazed 13 years later how it all worked out. 🙏🏽
Morgan touched on having a close relationship with her boss at her church. I want to share a bit of advice about having a close personal relationship with your boss or employer, even when it’s at your church or in a Christian ministry setting. Although it’s wonderful to have a boss that you feel very close to and who you may even consider to be good friend, you need to remember that your primary relationship to that person n the workplace is a legal one. Along with that comes a major imbalance of power of which you have none. I highly recommend not disclosing detailed personal information to your boss about anything in your life, especially about your romantic relationships, your sex life, or your health. Definitely do not have them be your accountability partner. When working in churches or parachurch organizations, we often refer to ourselves as family, but you are not family. If you want to be close personal friends with your boss or have them as an accountability partner, do not work for them. I realize this sounds harsh to many, but it’s a reality. It’s have personal experience with this going bad, and it’s more common that you think. Also, if you love your church, don’t work for them. Chances are that once you get pass the facade of your church being the perfect workplace and you experience how painfully flawed even the seemingly most wonderful people can be, it will change a lot about your experience attending that church.
I had a close friend who invited me to work under her at a girl's home. I accepted her offer without praying about it, I just got a good feeling and thought that I should do it. Anyway, I moved into a whole different house in order to be the house Mom, the one who would always live there and help the woman that live there. Within the span of my friend hiring me and then me moving into the house, her entire demeanor towards me changed. She became cold and detached, and was not friendly at all. I remember I had a lunch with her and two other people where she completely ignored me the whole time and purposefully looked at other people at the table instead of me. It was extremely odd. I called her out on it. She fired me the next day. The whole experience was extremely hurtful and I felt so betrayed and confused because of how I was treated. Just wanted to share my story because of what you said, and I can confirm that it is true.
I know today's video ending up being more controversial than you probably expected, so I just wanted to send you guys love for being so open and sharing! Even if I don't always agree, I love your hearts and am thankful for your honesty! 💖
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“It’s a teaching tool for my children!”
Lol 😂 love you so much Morgan!
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Hi Morgan, could you please do a video on your borderline personality disorder and how you were diagnosed with it and why you were diagnosed with it and what symptoms you had and if you still struggle with it now and what treatments you used if any, etc etc etc. I have borderline personality disorder myself. Thank you.
Hey! That’s definitely something we plan on doing in the future 💜
@@PaulandMorgan that would be amazing because I have a friend who heavily struggles with bpd and depression and feels like she doesn’t have a future to look forward to. I do my best to bring her encouragement, but it would be amazing to hear about your experience so that I can get a better picture at how God worked out your story and turned it into the beautiful life you have now❤
@@PaulandMorgan yes please, that would be amazing!
I would be very interested in a story about your BPD Morgan. And one on Paul's ADHD, the history and how that affects your life and relationships Paul.
Yeah that would be amazing
Where/when did she say she has BPD?
@@itsfrickinmik957 10:04 thats where she says it lmao
BPD can often be an umbrella (mis)diagnosis for ADHD, ASD, CPTSD. Look into these, Morgan. And if the going ever gets too tough, you have millions of women out here to welcome you with open arms. Depression and mood disorders can be treated.
It's a story of the American big pharma dream!
This is a good message how important it is for women to focus on their values during dating and to find partners with values that match ours. Someone who loves you would never want to compromise something important to you.
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In ways, I see myself much like the man in the story. I say that I have certain desires, but my actions show otherwise. And I've seen how when two people are unequally yoked, boundaries get crossed left and right. I am in a "situationship" with a guy now and we've not done anything physically but we've said things that were definitely crossing the line. It's hard to admit that I am the one in the wrong/the one who's provoking temptation. Prayers for a clean heart and the desire for Christ and His righteousness would be appreciated. Thank you both for sharing
Sad to admit I’m in the same situation however my wife and I have been married for almost six years. I know I missy at pray and work hard to be the spiritual leader she needs
I had a guy who told me he was Christian. I asked him about his faith some more and he told me he didn’t believe the Bible or that church is good for us. I don’t understand how someone believe is Christ and not the Bible and I honestly don’t know if he really does believe. I’m so happy I asked more questions because I realized that we were not equally yoked.
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I was worried about where this video was going, but I felt it was well done. As a much older Christian woman who didn’t get saved until later in life, I was making a mental list of all mistakes made along the way. And Morgan laid out every mistake I saw at the end. I’ve learned one- equally yoked goes beyond the person just saying they are a believer. And in Christian dating, there has to be firm boundaries and accountability.
This is so similar to my story, Morgan!! Even 10 years removed from it and happily married (to a different guy), I still deal with guilt. I’d love to maybe see a part 2 about how you healed after that experience! Lord bless you for being so vulnerable and open ❤️
Always know that Jesus loves you for who you are
@@j.moto3435How do you know she isn't cheating on you?
@@j.moto3435I agree with what you've said... but testing character is also good. I'm sure in your case, you can ask -- at any time -- to see your wife's phone with no contention, correct?
@@j.moto3435Once again, I totally agree and you are absolutely right in everything you've said. I was just curious, can you ask to see your wife's phone just to further prove me wrong? (I recently asked this to someone else who said something similar to what you wrote, but turns out when I asked him that question he noted that the last time he did that he and his wife separated for three years)
Ladies must realize that no matter how secure a guy is in himself, it will ALWAYS eat at him deep down if he knows his wife had sex with someone else. God made us this way. It’s a feature not a bug. Please ladies, consider your future before you engage in the “now”. You might just block the blessing God has for you.
I share this because there are alot of virgin men out there suffering. They are shamed for being “unforgiving” or “insecure” when the anger as Paul stated, or visceral dread is something deep inside us that we can’t really control. I know this is a controversial opinion, but it needs to be said… because many guys won’t vocalize it out of fear put on us by our current culture, but virgin men ALL experience this deep inside of them.
This is facts
Thanks for being so open about this. I'm currently going through this now after being in a five year relationship with someone. Everyday is a constant struggle of being angry at myself for allowing myself to be so foolish and idolizing the person so much that it interfered with the teachings of christ.
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Paul interrupted so much 😅
That's what men who are nervous about her past act. Or, they are completely silent.
I had such a similar past, it was very healing to listen to your story. Thanks Morgan
Aww good❤️🙏
@@PaulandMorgan sex is free. Get over it.
As someone who has also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, have you ever struggled with the judgments or stigmas that have come with that diagnosis...I am getting retested because psychiatrists have continued to overlook my autism diagnosis and never include it in my mental health diagnosis, but I still wonder what I'll feel if they say, I still have Bpd... I find it difficult when people say certain things about those with Bpd, or when a psychologist says they don't like treating someone with Bpd because of some bizarre scenario. Is this something you relate to, and if so how have you gotten past it?
Thank you for sharing your story, Morgan! And I love how protective Paul is of you and his healthy anger towards your ex-boyfriend. I can only pray for a future husband as great as Paul.
I also want to say that this definitely resonates with me, too. I've never had sex or kissed a guy and I've been single most of my life so far, but it has been getting harder and harder as I'm getting older (I'm 30 now) to keep my mind pure from sexual thoughts and lust. I resonate with your story in that I feel as if I'm experiencing the same slippery slope into sin as you were having, but it is more mental than physical. I admit (regretfully) that I've watched some R-rated movies with some intense sex scenes, that I never thought I would watch, but I did. And I can never unsee what I saw. I know that it's wrong and that it doesn't fulfill me, and I also know that God is forgiving if I repent, but repenting can be very hard. To Paul and Morgan and to anyone else reading this, do you have any advice for turning away from sin regarding sexual thoughts and watching sexual content? Thanks in advance.
I would watch more Hallmark Movies or Family friendly movies. At Netflix they say if there is sexual content and then I wouldn't watch it or just skip the scene. That's what I do.
Just jeep yourself busy with doing useful things.. That's what helps me personally
Hello, With ALL DUE RESPECT & without any JUDGEMENT or CONDEMNATION towards you whatsoever, I would like to lovingly give you the following admonishment, recommendation, instruction, and counsel as a man and brother in our LORD JESUS CHRIST (unless it is CONTRARY or in OPPOSITION to a 5 fold ministry vessel, such as your pastor or some other spiritual advisor/authority in your life, such as a parent, if it is, and there words are SCRIPTURALLY SOUND & RIGHTLY DIVIDED & INTERPRETED TRUTH, you follow their instruction, direction and counsel, NOT mine, for I am NOT in the 5 fold ministry) That being said, there is an old saying that quote, "the eyes are the windows to the soul." If you accept that premise as true, then in order to OVERCOME and more than CONQUER your sexual thoughts, you must avoid and shun any imagery that is causing them to arise up in the spirit of your mind by preventing them from occuring in the first place. I don't really think your problem is really lust, but rather a normal, natural desire to have expressions of LOVE shown towards yourself by a man. The key, I believe, in the Light of the HOLY SCRIPTURES/WORD, NOT my own opinion, to your victory is for you to quote, "Casting down those imaginations (coming from any media by eliminating their influence within the spirit of your mind) and every high thing that seeks to exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, (His Word 📖 or Spirit) and ask Him, through the POWER of His Spirit, to enable you to bring into captivity every thought which arises within your soul 🧠 to the OBEDIENCE of CHRIST JESUS (2 Cor. 10: 3-5) Your desire/longing/yearning for LOVE via emotional, mental and yes even physical companionship is NOT inherently wrong, you just need to seek to after His Spirit' s leading via His HOLY WORD to fulfill it in an appropriate manner. I hope and pray 🙏 these words help.
This was an amazing story! Thank you Morgan for being so honest and real. I was dumped six years ago because I refused to have sex with my ex.
I'm so glad that I did what I did. I'm so grateful for my strong walk with God and now six years later (today) I'm single but, I'm apart of a great bible believing church/Community. God has really put some awesome people in my life and have helped me grow and me help them as well.
Wise and self control is beautiful, I hope you find a Godly man who also saved himself for you.. Sharing each others saved Gifts.
This is why once you break up with someone you should never go back because it only gets worse 😂 almost same exact story happened to me but now I’m single 🙌🏻
Single non virgin woman? Eeeewwww
I think boundaries are a HUGE practical way to avoid this. But I don’t think people know what kind of boundaries to set and then therefore don’t set them at all.
True🙏 We’ve made a couple physical boundaries video’s that can hopefully be helpful
Genuine question - considering your personal struggles with bpd and adhd, have you thought about how you will talk about and address mental health and wellness with your child(ren)?
Amen! This is all so true, I have also experienced a lot of this! Christians LISTEN! If a man wants all your time and it takes away from what God has given you in ministry such as church, family, friends, He is not going to be one to support you in your ministry when yall are married. Keep running after God! You won't miss the right man! Thank you Jesus!
Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable story, Morgan. Your story has incredibly valuable lessons for both those who have been successful so far in their goal to save intimacy for marriage and for those who have stumbled. For whoever is reading this, please know that no matter where you are at, you are never too far gone. There is no sin too great that Christ will not forgive.
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Amen!
Fun fact: bpd folks attract narcissists alot. Makes me wonder if Paul is one without even realising it.
Uhmmm yes! I get the same vibes
dude gives me property brother vibes
I found your channel after getting out of a relationship similar to this. I knew the guy from high school and he happened to go to the same college as me. He had a girlfriend first and dated me right after. He claimed to be a be a believer, was raised in a Christian home, but he didn't seem to believe in boundaries except for sex. He was very touchy and even my parents would notice and have to express their disapproval of that to him. And we would have discussions after lines were crossed, mainly because I would bring it up and say we shouldn't be doing that. And then it would happen again and again. No matter how I tried to tell him it was wrong, he just couldn't or wouldn't see it. This went on for about two years. We got engaged, but broke up a month in by the grace of God, he was going for a career that I didn't feel comfortable with. But I was feeling close to a breaking point after being engaged. And on top of that he had been verbally abusive a few times and even a little physically once or twice. I fell into a deep depression after, angry and ashamed of everything, and months passed before I finally told my mother. It was a long healing process for me and I'm very grateful God helped me out of it when I couldn't get out myself.
Certainly resonates. Hope you don’t mind me adding that even if you do get married, that sin of disobedience to God follows you into your marriage and can create a separation between you, God, and your spouse. We must acknowledge our sin and confess it to be healed. Took me 23years to figure this out. I learned recently that it was my sin of idolatry of the relationship ahead of obedience to God that caused me to allow a man to lead me into his own sin of sexual impurity, and for 23 years I blamed him unable to see my own sin and confess it. God is good, and he redeems!
Along with many others in the comments, I experienced a very similar thing with my ex of 4 years. We went to church together and I thought I could bring him closer to Christ, but he ended up pulling me away. At 16 yrs old and 1 year into dating, I was told that if I didn’t have sex with him then he couldn’t be around me anymore. He had lost his virginity (while we were broken up for 4 months), and he told me it was “painful” to just kiss me. I still remember having the sorrowful feeling of giving up something I wasn’t ready to give up. He treated me like trash for my very first time and then I felt like I had to marry him (never did though). Unfortunately, it continues to affect my intimacy with my husband today. I am praying that one day I can find the peace you seem to have in this area. Thank you for sharing your story❤
Im sorry to hear that. How does it affect your husband if I may ask ? Does it get brought up alot ? How do you feel about it ?
But also, I wanna thank you for sharing this… bc you’re right. There are so many people out there who are struggling with loneliness, who are so close to compromising.. so thanks for your boldness 🙏❤️
This is very similar to my own story. We both wanted to wait till marriage but we didn't know what that meant. One thing led to another from kissing. After we crossed all the boundaries, I also kept thinking "well we already did it, what's the point in stopping now". And when Temptation came i gave into it and went out of my way to lure my boyfriend into this sin. Most of the time I was the initiator. But I hated how this sin made us see each other and how far we've gone from God. We got more numb and numb to our sins. The holy spirit telling me "stop", i heard it at first but the more we progress in sin the less we felt conviction. We just decided that we will not kiss at all from now on until the wedding day (if it's God's will for us to marry). This sin has really made me confused about whether He's the one to marry or not. He encourages me to do devotionals and he had asked me some really good questions regarding marriage. But the sin we committed together makes me question whether that means he isn't someone I should marry. It makes me think "what if I'm blinded to things because of the bond we created through sexual sin". Maybe that's not the case. Maybe it IS a redemption story for both of us. But who knows besides God? At this point I don't even know what I want with this man because I'm so confused. I'm just gonna do the right thing from now and pray while waiting for God's will to be done...
ask a mentor or trusted adult for help to keep you accountable and check up on you! so hard to do it by one's self!
If you ask me, I don’t think the fact you guys sinned together means you shouldn’t marry. He seems, seems, like a decent guy based on what you wrote who genuinely cares about you, wants to wait with you and is willing to not even kiss you till then, and encourages you to get closer to God. Yes, having sex could make you more tied to people but if you’re both willing not to and you see it’s still going good that you can connect without it. That you actually have things in common and like each other for PEOPLE. That’s all. Everyone has a past.
As long as you guys fall in love for each other as people, instead of due to sex or in love with the lust n sex, the fact you sinned and repented for it doesn’t have to continue into your future
Morgan, this is so helpful and encouraging. Please ignore any hate as your good intentions to help others here are clear! Your vulnerability here is so encouraging. Love and God bless you guys ❤
Thank you, Lucy❤️
@@PaulandMorgan sex is normal and fine inside and outside of marriage.
@@PaulandMorgan extra-marital is the only bad sex
Honest, Open, and Transparent. Love it, thanks for the lessons today. You guys rock!
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From the comments, you can tell that people are entitled to tell people how to feel. Strangers on the Internet are quick to criticize Paul, like they know what Morgan feels
Sometime last year I got close to a guy. We hadn't talked in like 5 years and then all of a sudden I reached out to him cause it as feeling lonely. And over time we realised that when we were younger we had feelings for one another but hadn't known. He was very kind and like I lurched onto him to help me get out of depression and eventually we went out together. Somewhere along the way we were kissing and then we went into this public bathroom and things went farrr. But thankfully I stopped it before we could go all the way but we jumped so many boundaries in one day...I feel so guilty, dirty, and ashamed. I asked the Lord to forgive me but I still feel that self condemnation and I can't get over it. I wish I could take it back. All of it. But I realise that at that time I was in a rough rough place and instead of turning to God I turned to him and we r both Christians. What bugs me is that it was so easy and what if it happens again? Yeesh it's all a mess but it's encouraging to know that am not alone and many older Christians like Paul and Morgan are there to help. By the way I dunno there ages when I say older cause am in my early 20s and they look older than that so lol.
I know how Morgan feels or felt. Pre-marital sex is “fun” for a season then the emotional damages can be devastating into your future but not something God can not redeem and heal us from. Christian men and christian women please do not lead each other astray in secret sexual sin. My advice as well is to get off dating apps if the temptation is for you to date or hook up with non christian men. Don’t go clubbing if you are tempted to date or hook up with non christian men. You have to set up boundaries so that premarital sex doesn’t happen. Please tell a pastor or close trusted christian friend if you are currently in secret sexual sin, it’s not worth the damage it can cause long term.. lower your pride and embarrassment and confess your sins… sexual sin is a very difficult sin to overcome on your own.. you need christian community to get out of it! Trust me on this. I’m age 36 and I’m not a virgin, I’ve made these mistakes. Also get a accountability partner and remember the heart is deceitful above all else. Lust and love are opposites too. Don’t give up, there is hope and don’t struggle with secret sexual sin on your own. Feel free to pm me on this post and I can try help you:) god bless all ❤❤❤. PS:- Thanks for sharing your story, I have traits of BPD,PTSD… have had depression and anxiety.. so can totally relate to you!! This video blessed me ❤❤❤ From Jess in Australia 🇦🇺
Precious Paul and Morgan! Being so honest and vulnerable, Morgan, takes a LOT of courage. The purpose is to help and warn others and tell the truth in love ✝. And therefore your "personal story" is so powerful and healing for all your listeners. Thank you, kind Morgan for sharing your high and lows with us in order to bless us❤. You have a BLESSED and beautiful marriage that honors God and He is so PROUD of both of you. Much love xxx
Morgan Thank you for sharing! I was in a 5 year relationship and we even lived together! I have a very similar story to the one you just shared. It was an extremely painful experience and I even got pregnant and lost a baby and he wasn't there for me much at all really through that process. The wages of sin is death people...I was so depressed all the time and I swore things would get better because I really thought he was the one. It was twisted and I was manipulated as well. There is hope ! I repented and left that relationship. This video is truly going to help many! God bless you !
My wife and I both had sex before marriage and we weren't each other's first. It was never a big deal
For some people it is
They make it a big deal because morgan is a woman. If Paul had sex before he got married it would've been oops I have Urges.
I'm not a Christian but I strongly disagree the idea of premariatal sex and I'm 17 and I'm going to save it for marraige . May God help me
Thats good, just dont let non virgin christians who are resentful and regretful tell you to get off your high horse. Virginity is a beautiful gift for your future spouse. Honor it, regard your gift highly. Dont give a shit about the wisdomless and lack of self control indivuals shaming you. Take care.
I needed to hear this 😢
Thank you for sharing!
Although I have not had sex with my fiancé. We have definitely crossed the lines and this has given me strength to say we need accountability. Please pray I can have the hard conversation with my fiancé because I always chicken out.
Thank you for shedding some light on how the enemy works.
It's beautiful to see the honest n her partner just so supportive n not being judged this is def God's work. Stay blessed
Thank you, Morgan for being vulnerable and sharing your story😊 Thank you Paul for opening up about your feelings as well.
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There’s nothing I love more about Christians than watching them speculate about which unmarried couples are probably having sex. It’s weird, and we all know what happens when we make assumptions.
I love how Paul isn’t judgmental but supportive. Setting a really good example of love. Morgan of course I can relate just as most women probably can. Thanks for keeping it real💗
Thank you Ashley❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. I have been through a very tough time with a very similar situation. Your story is so encouraging and inspiring. It truly lets people know, and opens their eyes, that Jesus Christ can provide a way out. Not only of this, but of everything sinful that tries to overtake us. Thank you again. You guys are such an inspiring and beautiful Christ-filled couple✝️💟
Amen❤️❤️
Reading through the comments I have seen a number of trolls and I just want to encourage you two, that God brought you two together, even with your different pasts, because that is who God is, He performs miracles, does the unexpected for His glory! So if someone wants to tell you how to live your lives, let they be worried about theirs, let they go to God and seek His guidance on how they should go about their lives, am glad God brought you two together, you are a lovely beautiful couple ordained by our Loving Father to do life together for His glory. Morgan and Paul, you are not defined by your past or even present struggles, we are still human even when we are believers and need His mercy to lead us everyday, we are eternally His children when we get saved, so whether we still fail Him (which we will do, since we are still living in our Earth bodies), His Son already paid the debt for our sins, so repent everyday and continue living for His glory. When we get to Heaven, we will be brought to full sanctification, we will struggle no more, we will have glorified bodies, Hallelujah 🙌🎉🎊
Thanks for sharing Morgan! It's true that boundaries are very difficult to keep, especially when they're not being discussed. My husband and I dated for a year and 7 months, got married another 7 moths later. It was difficult, but we worked hard at keeping those boundaries.
Thank you, Morgan, for being vulnerable and sharing your story! Definitely a lot of food for thought.
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I love how excited Paul was about this whole story and all of the morals that came out of it .
Also you guys talked about the men being called to be spiritual leaders, are there verses about this? I’ve wondered about it for a long time
I think of verses like these
Ephesians 5:25
1 Timothy 2:12
1 Corinthians 11:3
Genesis 3:16
@@scarlettredding I don’t think it’s vague , scripture says the husband will be the head of his wife ( and biblically the word head does indicate a leading type role )
And Christ will be the head of a man - also from scripture
So Christ leads man, man leads a women, women helps leading and guiding the kids
It’s scriptural based and that was just one instance
Premarital sex is not a sin in my opinion. If you’re in a relationship where you actually love and care for someone I don’t think it’s bad to have sex. I grew up believing premarital sex was a sin next to murder which is so harmful! And it messes with your head even after you get married cuz your mind doesn’t automatically switch to sex is good when you’ve been taught these bad things your about it your while life! Just know that your body is yours, and only you own your sexuality! Morgan I hope you know you don’t have to feel shame for your past! Sex is a normal part of life and you shouldn’t feel shame for it! Growing up I would beat myself up for having sexual thoughts, I thought I was going to hell! But I realized that it’s totally normal part of growing up! I hope that purity culture and the shame will come to an end one day! Still trying my best to heal from it
Great job straight up ignoring the Bible. “Not a sin”. This is exactly why this trash ideology of “it is ok to sin” is terrible. Mentalities like yours end up being born.
Read ur bible, ur opinion on sex is garbage
Girl - all sin is sin. Sex before marriage is called FORNICATION in the Bible. Your “opinion” is irrelevant.
Sex is marriage, there is no such a thing as sex before marriage, sex = marriage.
To you maybe. The bible says otherwise.
Paul constantly blames the bloke she had sex with but we don't hear his side. The American Christian culture puts far more laws and guilty on young Christians than the bible does. So glad I live in the UK. I remained a virgin till marriage but thank God I didn't have US culture. It's oppressive
Love you, Morgan!! Thank you for shedding light on the importance of truly dating to Marry.✝️😊
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This is so good, it’s so easy to slip in to sin! It’s really true that if you give it the slightest chance to happen it will… stay safe 💕
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He slipped right into her sin.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing this redemption story! It’s so helpful to learn from y’all’s wisdom ❤
Thanks for sharing! My husband and I had pre-marital sex (with others before each other AND with eachother before coming to Christ). Even though our stories are very different, it’s helpful to hear these stories from other believers. I’d be curious to know if you’ve had issues in your marriage because of having had pre-marital sex (we definitely did at the beginning) and if it was a struggle to “start over” and wait until marriage.
Thanks so much for opening up more Morgan! I can definitely relate to your testimony with my past but so thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness ❤
Aww welcome❤️
Thanks so much for sharing! Can very much relate, tho I ended up getting pregnant 😬 thankfully the guy stayed with me and we’re married now expecting our fourth 😅 I would LOVE to hear more about how your BPD affects your marriage, and any strategies you have to deal with it in a healthy way. Been one of many things that I’ve struggled with that has really hurt my husband and obviously I don’t want that yet it has seemed uncontrollable most of the time.
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Thank you for sharing, so many good things to learn from! It is so very hard to break the silence and ask for help/admit wrong. Especially with crossing boundaries in relationships. My husband and I did not have sex before marriage, thank God, but we definitely got closer than I ever imagined. I wish I would’ve known who to talk to to address some patterns. I have wonderful godly parents as well, but would’ve been more comfortable opening up to someone else. There’s so much shame around sexual sin in the Christian circle. Those kinds of patterns before marriage do carry over into marriage, it just looks different. Thankfully my husband and I are happily married and have worked through those things!
I feel for Paul. I wish she wouldn’t have laughed so much sharing this in the beginning because it’s a serious topic. But it could just be her being nervous. As well as going down that road of vulnerability. Deep down, It is hard to hear something like this from the person you love. Especially coming from a different standpoint of waiting before marriage. I understand him completely. But through God, love and understanding that is where we understand that, that is their past and they are a new creation in Jesus. God bless you both ❤️
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You feel for Paul? He's the one being a complete fucking weirdo asking for his wife to give him a play by play of past sexual experiences for EVERYONE ON RUclips TO SEE.
WE NEED A BPD STORYTIMEEEEEE LIKE THIS COMMENT IF YOU 💗JESUSSSSSSSSSS
Amen Morgan, thank you for sharing. I have a similar story and praise God for his redemption. I’m now happily married to a godly man who leads me spiritually and has never put me down for my past. ❤️
I am thankful for you that God gave you such a wonderful testimony and redeemed you and your life. I had a friend who had a similar life and God redeemed her life, too. She ended up in a wonderful marriage. Mine wasn't as blessed and when temptation came my way, I just assumed God would do the same for me, too. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I lied about my past which added sin to sin. I was afraid of losing him. I was not a Christian, but I knew right from wrong. After getting married and then getting saved, I confessed.
Didn't go like yours did. Sin will take you further than you want to go, make you pay more than you want to pay, and make you stay longer than you want to stay. Spent the first half of my life ruining the second half. God has forgiven me, but still there are consequences.
A lot of these comments are very much against Paul...
You know what, I was trying to write a response that justified premarital sex in todays day and age but the more I tried to give an example, the more I realized it wasn't really a justification to have sex and not marry. Honestly, I can only say that every person has to aim for purity of heart and the absolute avoidance of sin. I still dont think poorly on premarital sex, but I do think it is not the best choice. And honestly, the cristian and catholic traditional way of dating is preety much bulletproof if both parts are willing to truly commit to the way it should be. You meet people in church (already in church), which allows you to see if they hold the same values and beliefs as you do and their commitment. You go out and chat and talk about life and plans and dreams and hobbies. You figure out creative ways to spend time together without it being a recipie for lust and sin, so you find out the true passions and interests of eachother, yoj end uo sharing hobbies and perspectives. And since there is no sex at the end of the date or for the weekend both parts have to truly enjoy that time and be clear about how much they are liking the dinamic and the activities and the dates. Honesty is cultivated there, patience, self control, creativity, communication... and then, when both parts think they are on track for more, they get the community envolved directly in their relationship. Mom, dad, pastor, counseling, friends... everybody is going to point out little things and make the hard quesions. And then the couple gets engaged, and they go through real counseling and harder questions and resisting temptation cuz now that marriage is a promise with a date sex is around the corner right? And then the real hard struggle of containning that lust is presented. And lust is not bad, but it is a very dangerous weapon for evil to use to move someone towards sin and poor choices. So, the engagement and ciuncelkng period begins and the relationship goes through real pressure. And if both parts are jonest and they are both holding God and his will as the most sacred thing in existance, then the test is actually hard because both parts know they can't lie to God and if both parts are honest, and there happens to be a real problem, then it is gonna get brought up. So once you are set for marriage, you've been through dating and being formaly in a relationship and being observed and then engaged and much more heavily observed and called out and all of that, you get married. And the community stays there, slowly backing up, but still present and envolved. That is the setup for success if done properly. And it will take at least 2 years for most couples to go from "I like you and I would like to date you" to "Now we are married honey".
And still, tradition calls for a honeymoon phase and then a restructuring phase and then the children. So, what? 2 years of marriage? 4 years of intentionally setting up that marriage for success before it becomes a family that will bring new life to this world. Believe me, that is better than 6 years of "we will figure it out, I will worry later. He will settle down and change", "her mood will get better, she has to mature some day", "maybe I can talk her into my way", "yeah, we dont agree much and we dont share interests but sex is great and you would be surprised how much it solves".
That was so powerful, Morgan. I really appreciate your honesty. We need such encouragement and GOD uses people of all background to glorify and testify. I totally agree with Paul when he said she said some important life lessons. God bless your family and use you more mightily in the coming days through this platform. Love you guys.
It felt so sad when Morgan said that didn’t have any friends. It seems so unfair, you seem to have amazing soul!
Paul’s face looks so disappointed in Morgan in the thumbnail lol
Ya well I think he hurting. Good reason to be, hope he heals.
I’ve had a similar story and past and it’s difficult. But I also remembered that it took me so long to not feel shame and sinful because of it. It’s been a journey but a couple years ago I really gave my life to Jesus for real and I understood what Jesus did for me on the Cross in a way I never did before and I received his forgiveness like it never happened. And recently I’ve had to remember that I’m forgiven for it and that’s not my identity and I’m not a lesser Christian.
Probably the reason you weren’t being asked about your relationship is they already knew or could sense what was going on ? And people don’t want to have the hard conversations because they have their own shame and guilt to deal with.
You Guys are honest and what you shared is very important. Much love. writing from Ethiopia.
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Also, I can definitely relate to losing myself in a relationship...only difference is this guy wasn't Christian at all...I think I desired love so much, that I let go of everything I believed in and desired in a relationship...it was a month and a half, but it was a long month and a half...I finally broke up with him after so much time of wrestling with the way I was living and what the Holy spirit was pressing on me.