*Edit, to those watching who are unmarried, I want to caution you in doing too much research about s*x/ intimacy before the time is right. Use your discernment, but you want to be careful not to arouse these desires too strongly too soon.* Hey guys, any special takeaways from our conversation? Married folk, drop any additional advice below😊 Partner with us on Patreon!🤝 www.patreon.com/paulandmorganshow
We are married almost 12 years. My husband is the love of my life! But it has been a journey to dismiss the "sex is dirty" thing he grew up with. Now it's starting to be more fun and healthy, always has been loving and caring. It is amazing what it can do for a headache, and for insomnia.
I’m in a Christian marriage but I did not save myself for marriage. I had some traumatic experiences in my early adulthood related to sex and these have negatively impacted intimacy with my husband. We’ve been married 17 years and it’s been a long road to working on this area of our marriage. The early years were definitely hardest. I’ve also sought professional help and prayed a lot for restoration and healing. God is good and he slowly has made changes in me. Just want to say that partners need to be aware of past experiences and show compassion for each other in this area.
@@AmberDennis001Don't worry so much about that, First be the christian woman God wants you to be, then a good christian man will be added on to you, in which the union glorifies God, and helps you prioritize God first together, but first it starts with you and him alone.I recommend a YT channel called applygodsword by Mark, it's so helpful!Not only does he teach about relationships, but your main relationship with God by his word.💕😌Bless you.;)
I wanted to say that I am in the same boat! We have only been married five years and I still struggle very much with intimacy. I pray that one day it won't be like this ! Thank you for sharing.
I found you guys through Jaclyn who I have watched for years and I've truly been binge watching your videos and Morgans vlogs, you seem like such genuine lovely people and as someone who has very much been a sinner for most of my life and is slowly trying to find a way towards God your videos are so helpful in breaking things in gospel down in a simple easy to understand way & also motivating to keep striving to be better. Could you make a video about where to even start with Christianity in this day and age? Aimed at someone who is trying to create a relationship with god and coming back to christianity for the first time since childhood (or ever)? I'm talking people to watch/follow, books to read, HOW to read the bible - I don't even know what KIND of church to try to go to - I'm in the UK BTW)
Hello! I recommend listening and starting in the heart of Christianity--the Gospel. I recommend you search and watch a sermon by Paul Washer entitled "The Gospel. Grace and peace from the Lord be with you 🙏💕
And regarding your last question. Also by Brother Paul Washer (non-verbatim) he said that don't choose what is near to you but go and choose a church that is closest to the Bible 🤗
Definitely check out Alisa Childers as well. She’s super knowledgeable and really great. Paul and Morgan as well as Alisa Childers are the people I follow most. Find a church that you can physically go to. One that preaches out of their bible. Fee and Stuart have some amazing books on how to read your bible. The CSB study Bible by Holman is a fantastic study Bible and I highly recommend it.
This is an unhealthy point of view for women and sex, you shouldn't have to ask if it's ok not to have sex if you're not in the mood, you should be able to say you don't feel like it without having to worry about a negative reaction from your partner. And if you're consistently not in the mood there's a deeper issue in the relationship that needs to be figured out.
Totally agree. And I also do not like how they assume that it’s the woman who should be the gatekeeper. Not all men have a super high libido and all women are not *not* interested in sex. I feel like it damaging to assign different sex drives to the different genders
Me and my wife have been married only for a couple months now but I'm extremely grateful for our church and how open it it's about sex in marriage. When we where engaged, we literally had classes about this topic and one of the assignments was "look at each other eyes and say that you guys wanna have sex and you're going to when married". It was really awkward at first but then we learned that sex was design by God himself to be good for both partners when the time is right, so why would that be a shameful topic? Be open with one another about past experiences (without details. You don't need to ignite any fire anytime soon) and know that the other needs to be your priority during sex. Don't be selfish and discover what makes your spouse respond better.
18:26 Sometimes giving her a little extra attention throughout the day is enough to jump start things. In our home, we do our best to make sure she gets what she needs first.
Advice for couples with children : make it a rule that your children are not allowed in your room. And have sex wherever you can. Find anywhere in the house to do it! It can be difficult to say no or have your children not be allowed in the room but you are in charge, not your kids. Me and my husband have this rule. Thought it would maybe help others :) (our rule is that our room is for sleep and sex, and it’s our space. No kids, electronics , or pets. The kids have plenty of places to play and if they have trouble sleeping we can always go in their rooms for a bit if needed .)
That’s excellent advice! My husband and I have been struggling with this a lot lately. You are SO right. We are the parents, and they do not control us. I am definitely going to speak to my husband about his thoughts about implementing this rule. Intimacy is extremely important in a healthy, Christian marriage. We already do it anywhere or time we can-but making our bedroom off limits would definitely help our current situation. We have 4 young children and we have been struggling to find a solution to this issue. Thank you so much for your advice! It’s much appreciated ☺️
I'm honestly not sure how this is possible with small children, how do you keep them out? Chain them to their beds? Lock them in their rooms? Lock the bedroom door and have them screaming out of your bedroom for hours? My wife calls all of this child abuse.
I just wanted to say that I love how mature you are both being about this subject. You can clearly see that you have a heart for strengthening the bond between married couples. I myself am single but I am still learning a lot and feel like it is good preparation for when or if I do get married. So thank you very much for that. :)
Day of sex is such a fantastic idea! I'll also heavily pressure my wife into an uncomfortable situation and then be really frustrated if she doesn't put out.
For me foreplay is 75% not erotic or sensual. The conversations, events that happened all day are what play a big part in me being interested. I also find that if I approach the topic playfully throughout the day, it helps with the transition into being physical.
Same! Took some time to realize this myself but once I recognized the pattern (and so did my partner 😂) there was definitely an increase in sex and increase in good sex which just encouraged it even more
That’s an excellent point- I personally don’t care for physical foreplay at all. But the events of the day have a huge impact! Going outside, working hard, laughing together- all of that matters so much
Okay I commented earlier that there was serious value in the video… and update. MARRIED CHRISTIANS FOLLOW THEIR TIPS AND TRICKS THEY WORK. I swear it made a difference in my sex life in the first day. Praise God!
I am more harsh on the guys usually...... because I really believe if a man ( especially a Christian ) cannot be content with a period of time ( Yes Paul even over a week or two ) of just cuddling or caressing his wife because she's struggling with whatever..... then I have no pity on him. Despite popular belief sexual intimacy is important but it is not everything. I could LITERLLY love my wife even if she didn't want to have sex and not because I have a low libido. True LOVE transcends sexual intimacy overall.
This advice is difficult to actually use- but try to marry someone with a similar sex drive as you. If you’re pretty confident you’re an every day kind of person try not to marry someone who’s content with once a month. And know that nothing is wrong with either- but if you share that marriage value you’ll have much smoother sailing in bed. Specifically advice about sex after pregnancy- we were so focused on having our first child that we didn’t prepare AT ALL for the 6 weeks postpartum when you’re not allowed to have sex. We went from sex every day, to that massive break, and it was mentally, physically and emotionally SO difficult. In our house we think of sex not as a treat, but as a need. Plan for times when you’ll go without, but also be very aware if you and your spouse are starving. In a lot of ways losing sex is like if your spouse just stopped speaking to you for days on end. It can make you feel really alone. Or if your partner wants sex much more than you it could make you feel smothered.
@Alias Fakename That’s why I said it would be difficult to actually use that advice. Might be worth it to have some very frank conversations about libido, attitudes about sex, and all of that. Same as it’s a good idea to talk about finances, and family structure beforehand. 🤷🏻♀️ it’s not easy- but I’ve got friends who have struggled a lot because they have different concepts of how often sex should happen. One person will end up having to sacrifice in a really important area of life if they don’t agree at least somewhat.
I get the idea, I just don't know if that can be achieved in real life. The problem with this is that sex drives change over time for all sorts of reasons. Especially with pregnancy & breastfeeding, hormones and sex drive in our house have done a complete 180°. I am married to someone very different now compared to 8 years ago. And then there's the difficult to impossible task of identifying/quantifying your sex drive before you're married & have had sex, it's a total unknown.
There has to be times that the men are the ones who aren’t “feeling it” sometimes too, right? I feel like TV shows and movies have always made it like the woman always “has a headache” or the woman is doing it just for the man or it’s funny to make excuses up to not have to do it 😒, and I hate how it makes it look like it’s only for men, ya know? Like it’s not enjoyable for women.
Statistically, only about half of men in marriages have the higher sex drives. In 1/4 of marriages women have higher sex drives and in the other 1/4 they have equal sex drives.
Don't know how you're doing now but fair warning, they have a few problems in their relationship that needs to be addressed. Big grain of salt when taking their advice.
I did not safe myself for marriage. but now I understand why people wait. God wants us to enjoy sex with one person who stays with us and not use our bodies or disrespect us.
They said every other day!! 😂 I’ve got 4 kids, yo!!!! Hahah! But, this was cool- I love y’all taking the convo *there*! A lot of times we treat sex like a forbidden topic! It needs to be acceptable to talk about in the Christian community! It is a gift from God for man and woman, something only those two people can share! It’s so special and amazing!
Haha, that’s what I was thinking 😂 We have 5 and married 20 years. We are super happy with once or twice a week. No one needs to feel pressured about that frequency 😜
I absolutely love this video. So many christian marriages have very bad sex lives and especially for women, women tend to just view it as their job to please the man and the man just wants to hop in and get it done and so many people and especially Christian women are in these very miserable, pleasureless marriages and it really makes me so sad all the stories I read, it honestly breaks my heart to know this is such a huge issue for Christian couples and it is because of lack of education, I mean it doesn’t have to be explicit but education is needed to understand your own body as well as the basics of the others body and when the time comes and you have a sex life than I believe it is a wonderful thing to study and learn as much as you can about your partners body, how it works and how to satisfy them more and let me tell you a 100% fact, the more a woman enjoys sex the more she will want to have sex, and another FACT, truly for most women there is nothing sexier than a tough man being sensitive and gentle and caring with your body and seeing how much they want to please us just makes us want to return the favor even more after. Being selfless will gain you more in the end.
I am so ecstatic that you two made another video on this subject. I am a 25 single gentleman who prays for his future wife everyday. I think this is one of the most important (and tragically neglected) topics across Christianity, especially since we live in such an over-sexualized world. I've spent years reading and researching Christian views on sex and sexuality and you two so appropriately gave tons and tons of good advice. You two are the best and I totally love your content.
I prayed for my current husband as a teenager. I even journaled it out. I have evidence of prayers from around the time he was saved! Prayers are so powerful. Keep praying ❤️
I have sex with a Criminal before marriage I didn't know the Lord at the time but when I ask for forgiveness I felt the Lord's forgiveness fall upon me
Good convo guys. Im single (divorced), and in my marriage it was me who wanted sex a lot more than my ex. Sometimes it would be two weeks, and i remember it was very frustrating. The issues with sex were noticeable at the beginning. I tried to make him excitied (sexy lingerie etc etc) and nothing would get him excitied. Sometimes we had sex more often, it wasn’t always every few weeks. And whenever we had sex it was very very good, it was awesome. But during my marriage i found out my ex suffered from depression which explains his lack of interest in sex. If i was still married to him, i would talk about sex openly without embarrasement (which i think it an issue with a lot of couple and why they dont talk about it). I was a lot younger then, and when i subtly tried to talk about it, he couldnt handle it, wouldnt listen and got his feelings hurt, so i stopped even trying. Nasty cycle, it takes maturity on both sides.
I feel for you....been married 25 years, it's the same for me. No depression here....just not that into sex....more a friendship and partnership....great marriage otherwise.... I had to really pray and ask God to help me cope and pick up my cross and carry it everyday. Mostly we hear about men complaining about not enough sex, but not that much from the woman side.
You should only have sex if you really want it, if that's every day or once a week that's totally fine, everyone works different and have different sex drives, needs etc.
I just want to add to this that perhaps if the woman, who typically has the lower libido, doesn't feel up to participating in intimacy, the man should never ever get frustrated about that. You are not owed that, and that can really negatively effect the woman's mental health. This does go both ways
Getting married in 4 months and this video was so helpful!! My fiancé and I are waiting until marriage but have started to have open conversations about this stuff because we know it's so important. I wrote down all the resources you mentioned and hope to try them out when I'm married! Thank you so much for sharing this advice!
Congratulations on 5 years of marriage! Great Video. ...a husband and wife "are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate" (Matthew 19:6). Blessings.
If you get tired in the evening, you don't have to wait until evening. Try the afternoon, or first thing in the morning. There's no rule saying it has to be at bedtime.
I really respect and appreciate and admire how much it's so clear that you both are genuinely so committed to wanting to help and support your community. Despite different belief systems and lifestyles, I really like you guys.
One big take away for me... Is learning to be selflessly considerate and investing in adventuring together, in this topic of sex in marriage... Blessings to you in Christ Alone... Appreciate all the work y'alls do🙇🏿♂️✝️💯
Wow, this talk is so needed 🙏 I will be quite clueless my wedding night though. I didn't not mind. if I meet the right man, we'll have the rest of our lives to learn together
As a woman who was a virgin on my wedding night, yes of course you’ll be clueless…. Because you’ve never done it before! But definitely open the conversation and get used to communicating about sex while you are engaged. Going through a Christian book with practical training helped us too. On my wedding night, of course everything was a little scary and crazy and different. I actually had a panic attack! But, I feel so safe and communicative with my partner that it wasn’t too embarrassing and it didn’t stop us from trying other approaches. In short, don’t go in totally blind, but also know that the BEAUTY of married sex is the safety and freedom to be clumsy while you figure things out!
Since being pregnant I’ve really struggled with this, as soon as I hit second trimester it’s become very painful, pretty much sharp agony, and I have no drive at all either. It’s like my body just needs a severe break, and luckily my husband is so understanding but I do think it’s a difficult time in this department :(
Totally relate! Being physically intimate/affectionate in ways that are comfortable/feel good for you will help him get through, so he knows he’s loved and not rejected. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
Also I just want to say I don’t believe you’ve ever “went to far” with any of your videos about sex and intimacy even when being open and talking about your own sex lives, you have both always spoken very respectfully (I think you could give a bit more details, though!) and still get your points across. Sometimes I do think you should be a little more specific about certain things but thats my opinion and you have to do what is comfortable for you both and it takes time to get comfortable speaking of these types of things on camera. Speaking openly about your intimacy and intimate experiences takes courage and you’ve always done it respectfully. Keep doing what you do! God bless you Paul and Morgan!
Been married for 8 years and yes 100% to communication and talking about how each other feel about how your intimacy is going my husband and I always check in with each other and see what we might need to change or what the other might want to try and it’s a great way to stay aware with ea h other
Paul is so sweet and I am really happy to know he actually cares about your sexual experience and the fact he is learning about it is a wonderful thing since a lot of men want to think they already know it all and don't need to “learn” anything or don’t want to read about it because their stubborn and it hurts their “ego” or others that just plain don’t care about their wives which is very sad but seeing how much he cares to improve your sex life and cares to learn, that is truly a blessing to have a man like that, Morgan! So don’t discourage it, please! You are extremely lucky as a christian woman.
Best advice for a being married. I have only been married for almost a year. It's will be a year April 7th. I would say continue to pursue each other. Be best friends and get to know each other more
Excellent conversation! After forty eight years of marriage our bodies don’t work right and sex doesn’t look like it did when we were young, but we still satisfy and love each other every much. Married sex is wonderful!
Since you said you've been married 48 years, I'm guessing you are around 70 years of age. Would you be willing to share about how often you and your spouse get intimate? I know this is a very personal question... So please don't take it the wrong way💚
@@kfenton4154 you are correct. I am 68 and my husband is 73 and we have sex every week! Most of the time it is on Sunday afternoon after a good nap, sometimes we pick a late afternoon during the week. Another part of aging is that the triggers for desire have changed. For me it includes a wonderful bath, music, candles, perfume (that triggers my senses), and talking about how we are going to enjoy one another when we get together. It helps too that we laugh a lot and don’t take ourselves too seriously. (Remember I said our bodies don’t work right), but we have also learned to grieve what we’ve lost and rejoice in what we have! I am just so grateful that God has helped us to make this part of our marriage a priority. Oh yes, and a good meal afterwards is important too!
@@darceybirkenstock Thank you for answering this question so intentionally and graciously. I'll be getting married soon to the love of my life and I was just curious about what our future may look like. God bless you 💚
Absolutely agree! Thanks for your content) Watching you I’m picking up a lot of interesting information (like what is happening in the world) and at the same time learning English)) I’m married and fortunately there haven’t been any huge problems in this sphere, but what I’ve learnt: 1) women also shouldn’t be focusing only on herself and just caring if she is comfortable at that moment 2) men also can be in inappropriate mood for sex or be worried about something, so its better to have a deep talk and support him instead of demanding sex Thank you for talking about this topic)
So I’ve had this question for a while now! I know that in biblical times it was forbidden for spouses to have sex during the woman’s period because she was considered impure. Does that still apply for today’s times? Or is it up to the couple to decide wether they want to have sex during that time if they are comfortable?
What you say around minute 19, YES YES YES!!! You learn and grow together. There is no such thing as trying it out to see if you are “sexually compatible”. You desire each other because you love and serve each other, you learn to please each other because over time you learn to please each other, etc. etc. It is a learned skill and a build up of trust and love for each other. Good sex is not an instant thing and not the same all the time, so if you “try it out” and it is good its going to stay good always, NOPE. I’m so interested in those cards.
I just love the way you guys talk about it because you are able to be specific without disrespecting it and you discuss it in such a beautiful way that makes it sound as holy as it is and how it is a gift from God! I am not married but I would like to be; I’m going to be 18 March 31, and as far as I know no guy has ever been interested in me but I’m hoping Gods will for my life isn’t to stay single
So encouraging to hear it gets better vs worse in time. Also the app/games idea, and tips like doing it earlier in the night helps a lot. Super appreciate u guys!! Btw I’m 10 months into marriage!
I like that this one did not sound like porn. References to share could have been more biblically based but other than that, I think we are all learning and all a work in progress. Your year 1 and year 2 sounded a little like ours I would guess. Ours had a more tragic effect. I was a virgin and he wasn’t when we got married. My sex drive back then is almost like zero but willing to grow. That didn’t mean I don’t desire him though. I didn’t like to watch porn. I was disgusted over it. I didn’t have a healthy want for sex coz I didn’t know how that even looks like. But I wanted it so bad to happen in a healthy and Godly way and I didn’t know how that would look like in the beginning of our marriage. I was expecting our first to be beautifully memorable and not physically painful for me. So yeah there was fear of physical pain involved. So on the other hand, his sex drive is not just manly but also worldly empowered with all the brokenness of his past sex experience, porn, and world influences on sex. I don’t know how to word it all appropriately, but basically, we were extremely moving from two directions when it comes to sex on our first year. I wasn’t expecting that he would be expecting sex on the first day of our marriage either. We didn’t have sex the first day. I thought that was more a cultural expectation though. He was very resentful we’re not having it. And I was resentful why he is resentful over that matter. In my mind, we just got married. It means I gave my life to him whole and for a lifetime. We have a “long” lifetime to go to keep making love and getting better as I was expecting we would learn first from Christian marriage books and the Bible how to do Christian making love first and go from there. It went on months not having sex after the wedding and I had no idea how it was hurting him. we would try to talk and we’re not really understanding each other. Moving on, now we have a better sex life than year 1&2&3&4… but still a lot to work on. If he is more open, I think it would exponentially mature fast and grow more awesome. I got questions more specifically on Paul, what maid it painful or hurting during those days you’re not having it and why? Have you tried to go deep on those questions? What insights if ever can you share to your daughter when she gets married and to other women about to get married? I wanna hear from the men this time. I can hear more and more men teaching nowadays about the matter saying it’s very painful for them, but I never really understand why? Why does it make them resentful about it also?
Yessss, this! It’s such a taboo subject and we’re always told “ITS BIOLOGY, MEN JUST NEED SEX OKAY!!” But very obviously, there is a cultural/emotional/personal dimension to the phenomenon of many men being obsessed with sex. Time for a frank conversation!
I have a very different view on the topic of what should wait until marriage, however I really like you guys and how you handle this topic! Your advice is really sound and good enough to be applicable to different lifestyles, we don’t all have to agree but we have to respect each other’s beliefs which you guys seem like you do. Personally, I think that whatever people value shouldn’t wait until marriage because it’s important to establish those boundaries before making a (hopefully) lifetime commitment to someone. Anyway long story short, props to you guys for talking about this in a community that isn’t always so accepting of this, it’s really bold and I admire that.
Yeah, you two definitely don’t have children - especially a special needs child. Your story would definitely change. You can go months, and your partner will still be understanding. Let’s see your video when married for 17 years with 3 kids, full time jobs, and just beyond exhausted. You do have some good advice, but you’re still lacking some in experience. Blessings to you both.
Well in the beginning they mentioned that this video is for people who will consider being married in the near future, or couples that are about to get married. So their advice is not being told from a parents perspective. I could imagine that after they become parents they will have different advice for married couples and who are thinking of having kids, in which comments like yours would be discussed!
To other single people out there who are nowhere close to getting married, I would highly recommend to not watch this type of content, if you know it can become a stumbling block to you and arouse love before it's time. I used to watch this kind of videos where Christians talk about their sex life but after some time, God helped me to realize it was very unhealthy for me to do so. It would just lead me to picture how my sex life would be like once I get married and led me to have lustful thoughts. I also realized that there were so many better things to do than learning about sex when you are single. Doing this type of research will make more sense once I will get engaged and thus closer to getting married. "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until the time is right." Song of Solomon 8:4
Thanks for sharing this! Yes God has helped me through this too! We ought to use our time Very wisely & Not give the enemy a foothold! *Ephesians 5:15-16*
Those thoughts are awakened wether I watch this video or not, because we are in human bodies, it’s just the way it is, that’s why when we get married we are able and want to have sex, it’s because we already had those thoughts before it.
We had it last week!! Some weird symptoms, it seemed like all of the symptoms of any kind of cold and flu you could get came between us and our whole family. I’m grateful the least powerful one come swooping through and giving us some antibodies! Lol
I don't think we need to put specific requirements on ourselves like that. If that's what works for them, great. But it's a personal decision between you and your partner, there's no rule that works for everyone!
I love this video. Thank you guys! Personally my husband and I have sex about every 4 to 5 days, around once or twice a week but we really like it that way. It’s kind of like hitting the reset button and it makes everything feel 10 times better lol.
True! Would love to know how she glowed up btw because even though she was already beautiful at the start of their channel, she definitely had a glow up 😍!
Just remember if you have kids it will change at different seasons. I’d say the average amount if you have two kids is 3 times a month. That seems small but having kids is a fulltime job mentally emotionally physically etc. and its ok as long as both people are communicating like you mentioned in your video :).
When we as Christian married couples are intimate, it brings unity and makes our bond stronger, a bond no devil can ever get through! It makes us one in Christ and spiritualy one and very strong. If Christian couples have issues in their marriage, just talk about what they like and do it, as often as possible. The issues will seem so small. Of course communication is very important, but intimacy is the 2% glue that keeps Christian married couples together for life.
I mostly agree on that you can work on it in your marriage so mostly "being incompatible" would just requitlre that learning process to tune in on each other and adjust but I still think about those stories people share on having been allergic to their partners sperm or the first kiss fesling like you are kissing your brother/sister, those are real signs of genetic incompatibility that would likely create problems when it came to having kids :/
@@HolinessUntoTheLord. Yep, that's a thing that can happen to women, being literally allergic to particular people... also all those stories about how while being with that one boyfriend they would constantly get uti's and that has never happened with anyone else before or after, I wonder if that's the same thing.
So good to hear you guys post about sex. Found you as a single abs watched all your videos. Being an newlywed just shy of 2 months, this is so encouraging. Keep doing what you do for the kingdom. You guys rock!
Something I struggle with is feeling guilty if my husband and I have sex but we didn’t pray together that day or I didn’t spend enough time with God alone that day. I know it is a command to have sex often, but where is the line between having sex and praying or reading together instead? Also we have a kid and are very busy humans so don’t always get a lot of down time alone together.
There is no command to have sex often. Obviously people in marriage *should* have sex as a way of connecting, but frequency is up to the individual and it changes based on stages of life, like the one you mentioned. Sometimes reading and praying together brings much more intimacy than sex, particularly when you’re exhausted or one person isn’t feeling pleasure.
What do you guys think about incorporating things you would find at most erotic adult stores with a spouse? IE: toys, lingerie, etc. Do you think it's okay to use things like that in marriage or do you think God is up there like "Y'all nasty" ? LOL
I'm not sure I understand the point of your question as a response to what I said; and I am not quite sure how I should even reply to it... My thought is if everyone was asexual how would people even want to get married and reproduce? Sex isn't forbidden; it's just frowned upon outside of marriage. Sexual nature is humanly... But, like wanting to be in sexual relations with various people, prior to marriage, etc is sinful. You don't have to be asexual to have some sort of self control... lol
I was curious about if they would cover this topic or not. Now I’m saying this as someone who’s not devoutly religious in this season of my life (take it with a grain of salt if you are more religious) but I find it very freeing to be vulnerable with my partner about my likes and dislikes. Without fear of them being disgusted with me - and I often wonder if that level of vulnerability truly exists in Christian marriages when it comes to discussing toys, fantasies, etc. Especially in the day and age where you don’t have to walk into a sex store where it’s hard to control what you’re exposed to. A lot of stuff you can just find online via Amazon like they did with the cards lol.
God bless you both for these tips. This is really good stuff! Keep up these vids. It defies the world's caricatures of Christians as people who are afraid of sex.
Every other day?!? Wow. I'm lucky if my wife is willing once a month. I would like to see this video recreated after Paul and Morgan have a couple kids, things change and get incredibly more complicated, at least they did with us. When pregnancy & breast feeding hormones are at play (which has been the last 6 years essentially nonstop), she has no sex drive and actually quite the opposite, even the act of kissing is like fingernails on the chalkboard and she can't stand it. I feel like this fact completely negates any advice in this video because it essentially shuts it it all down. What do you do if it's not enjoyable at all? And then there's the dealing with small children all day long on top of everything else that needs done while I'm at work, meaning most evenings she's exhausted by dinner time and falls asleep with the kids. And the kids have been sleeping in our room and more often then than not in our bed since birth. But how do you stop it, chain them to their beds? Close the door on them and let them scream for hours outside your bedroom. My wife would argue that's child abuse. It's just doesn't appear to be very realistic for regular intimacy with kids in the picture.
Hey, I have a question und would be interested what you think about it. I know a person who thinks That it is okay to move together with her fiancé before getting officially married (I think you know what that will mean with sex Life) and she is convinced that it is not a sin against god. Her Argument is that the bibel has no specific law until which exactly Point the marriage begins. She says that it is enough when you say your vows to each other and infront of god and when you come together intimatly the marriage would start. My personal opinion is, that marriage starts with the official wedding day. I have to be honest, I‘m from Germany and I don‘t know how it works in your Country, but in germany you have to Go to the registry Office to be an official married Couple and the most christians make a second ceremony in the Church to get the blessing of god. But the registry office is the requirement that your marriage is officially accepted. My question: from what point does marriage begin? God bless you two!
@Alias Fakename It seems that you’re the one who actually didn’t read the Bible. At least in it’s proper context anyway. God never said nor commanded for men to even have concubines. Plus God made Adam and Eve for each other, not Adam +5 wives lol wut. So if you’re ever gonna comment that you know some head knowledge about biblical stuff, check again. Don’t talk about it as if you know what you’re saying.
Should Christians talk about culture and sex this much I don't think they should maybe if asked but not all the time that should be between you and your wife or husband God bless.
My husband and I also schedule sex lmao, if we didn’t we would both put it off forever. It gets to the point where we are both just too tired and the work necessary outweighs the desire lol.
Every other night?! Gosh I miss pre baby days... Haha jk. We've also always had to live with other people so it's not JUST baby but they do make it more challenging.
My husband and I didn’t touch until our wedding day The Bible said “It is good for a man to not touch a woman”. we have had 0 issues because communication is half of intimacy.
@@mikaeladonegan2430 I don't see anything wrong with your choice not to touch before marriage. But I don't think it says in the Bible, "it is good for a man to not touch a woman".
@@redzin8818 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 (KJV) 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
@@mikaeladonegan2430 I use the Complete Jewish Bible and it's worded differently. It says to stay away from women. Of course the context is there to avoid sexual immorality.
I would be interested in your opinion about what classifies as sodomy? Because some say oral sex or any other position but missionary is sinful even within marriage
I'm currently seeing a guy, hopefully will lead to a courtship, as it is brand new. So, glad to hear all your advice. He lives in another state to me; which is good in a way, but sucks at the same time. We both have a child each and he was previously married... So, I'm not sure about the whole thing yet with his previous marriage... Unfortunately... In my rebellious year's; I was pretty promiscuous. I definitely learnt and know way too much than I should about sex.
![Quando Rondo - Grow Up [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8zFnCg3BO4Q/mqdefault.jpg)
*Edit, to those watching who are unmarried, I want to caution you in doing too much research about s*x/ intimacy before the time is right. Use your discernment, but you want to be careful not to arouse these desires too strongly too soon.* Hey guys, any special takeaways from our conversation? Married folk, drop any additional advice below😊
Partner with us on Patreon!🤝
www.patreon.com/paulandmorganshow
yes don't gaslight your wife maybe?
We are married almost 12 years. My husband is the love of my life! But it has been a journey to dismiss the "sex is dirty" thing he grew up with. Now it's starting to be more fun and healthy, always has been loving and caring. It is amazing what it can do for a headache, and for insomnia.
*I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until the time is right.*
- Songs of Solomon 8:4
Paul!!! show me your christian weenie. pleeeeeeease 👅👅👅👅
I’m in a Christian marriage but I did not save myself for marriage. I had some traumatic experiences in my early adulthood related to sex and these have negatively impacted intimacy with my husband. We’ve been married 17 years and it’s been a long road to working on this area of our marriage. The early years were definitely hardest. I’ve also sought professional help and prayed a lot for restoration and healing. God is good and he slowly has made changes in me. Just want to say that partners need to be aware of past experiences and show compassion for each other in this area.
Thanks for sharing🙏
How can I be the woman a man wants to marry?
@@AmberDennis001Don't worry so much about that, First be the christian woman God wants you to be, then a good christian man will be added on to you, in which the union glorifies God, and helps you prioritize God first together, but first it starts with you and him alone.I recommend a YT channel called applygodsword by Mark, it's so helpful!Not only does he teach about relationships, but your main relationship with God by his word.💕😌Bless you.;)
I wanted to say that I am in the same boat! We have only been married five years and I still struggle very much with intimacy. I pray that one day it won't be like this ! Thank you for sharing.
You can tell this man truly loves his wife. I love that!
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I found you guys through Jaclyn who I have watched for years and I've truly been binge watching your videos and Morgans vlogs, you seem like such genuine lovely people and as someone who has very much been a sinner for most of my life and is slowly trying to find a way towards God your videos are so helpful in breaking things in gospel down in a simple easy to understand way & also motivating to keep striving to be better. Could you make a video about where to even start with Christianity in this day and age? Aimed at someone who is trying to create a relationship with god and coming back to christianity for the first time since childhood (or ever)? I'm talking people to watch/follow, books to read, HOW to read the bible - I don't even know what KIND of church to try to go to - I'm in the UK BTW)
I love this idea and would find this super helpful as well
I’d definitely check out Bible Project!! This has been the first few months back in the faith for me, and they have been a TREMENDOUS help!
Hello! I recommend listening and starting in the heart of Christianity--the Gospel. I recommend you search and watch a sermon by Paul Washer entitled "The Gospel. Grace and peace from the Lord be with you 🙏💕
And regarding your last question. Also by Brother Paul Washer (non-verbatim) he said that don't choose what is near to you but go and choose a church that is closest to the Bible 🤗
Definitely check out Alisa Childers as well. She’s super knowledgeable and really great. Paul and Morgan as well as Alisa Childers are the people I follow most. Find a church that you can physically go to. One that preaches out of their bible. Fee and Stuart have some amazing books on how to read your bible. The CSB study Bible by Holman is a fantastic study Bible and I highly recommend it.
This is an unhealthy point of view for women and sex, you shouldn't have to ask if it's ok not to have sex if you're not in the mood, you should be able to say you don't feel like it without having to worry about a negative reaction from your partner. And if you're consistently not in the mood there's a deeper issue in the relationship that needs to be figured out.
Totally agree. And I also do not like how they assume that it’s the woman who should be the gatekeeper. Not all men have a super high libido and all women are not *not* interested in sex. I feel like it damaging to assign different sex drives to the different genders
Me and my wife have been married only for a couple months now but I'm extremely grateful for our church and how open it it's about sex in marriage. When we where engaged, we literally had classes about this topic and one of the assignments was "look at each other eyes and say that you guys wanna have sex and you're going to when married". It was really awkward at first but then we learned that sex was design by God himself to be good for both partners when the time is right, so why would that be a shameful topic?
Be open with one another about past experiences (without details. You don't need to ignite any fire anytime soon) and know that the other needs to be your priority during sex. Don't be selfish and discover what makes your spouse respond better.
"Study" homie just ask your wife! Dear lord she's right there. Of course new ideas can be learned elsewhere but man pay attention to her.
18:26 Sometimes giving her a little extra attention throughout the day is enough to jump start things. In our home, we do our best to make sure she gets what she needs first.
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Advice for couples with children : make it a rule that your children are not allowed in your room. And have sex wherever you can. Find anywhere in the house to do it! It can be difficult to say no or have your children not be allowed in the room but you are in charge, not your kids. Me and my husband have this rule. Thought it would maybe help others :) (our rule is that our room is for sleep and sex, and it’s our space. No kids, electronics , or pets. The kids have plenty of places to play and if they have trouble sleeping we can always go in their rooms for a bit if needed .)
That sounds like good advice. Thanks!😊
That’s excellent advice! My husband and I have been struggling with this a lot lately. You are SO right. We are the parents, and they do not control us. I am definitely going to speak to my husband about his thoughts about implementing this rule. Intimacy is extremely important in a healthy, Christian marriage. We already do it anywhere or time we can-but making our bedroom off limits would definitely help our current situation. We have 4 young children and we have been struggling to find a solution to this issue. Thank you so much for your advice! It’s much appreciated ☺️
@@kelliemorris84 baby gates will help too. 😌
I'm honestly not sure how this is possible with small children, how do you keep them out? Chain them to their beds? Lock them in their rooms? Lock the bedroom door and have them screaming out of your bedroom for hours? My wife calls all of this child abuse.
I just wanted to say that I love how mature you are both being about this subject. You can clearly see that you have a heart for strengthening the bond between married couples. I myself am single but I am still learning a lot and feel like it is good preparation for when or if I do get married. So thank you very much for that. :)
Aww really appreciate that, Lalita❤️
Day of sex is such a fantastic idea! I'll also heavily pressure my wife into an uncomfortable situation and then be really frustrated if she doesn't put out.
For me foreplay is 75% not erotic or sensual. The conversations, events that happened all day are what play a big part in me being interested. I also find that if I approach the topic playfully throughout the day, it helps with the transition into being physical.
Thanks for sharing, I hear you😊
Same! Took some time to realize this myself but once I recognized the pattern (and so did my partner 😂) there was definitely an increase in sex and increase in good sex which just encouraged it even more
I thought it was only me.
That’s an excellent point- I personally don’t care for physical foreplay at all. But the events of the day have a huge impact! Going outside, working hard, laughing together- all of that matters so much
that's foreplay! all the healthy connecting we do with one another in marriage is sexyyyy
Okay I commented earlier that there was serious value in the video… and update. MARRIED CHRISTIANS FOLLOW THEIR TIPS AND TRICKS THEY WORK. I swear it made a difference in my sex life in the first day. Praise God!
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God is sovereign over a Christian marriage-all aspects. That squashes the “gotta take the test drive before we’re married” idea.
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What do you mean?
I am more harsh on the guys usually...... because I really believe if a man ( especially a Christian ) cannot be content with a period of time ( Yes Paul even over a week or two ) of just cuddling or caressing his wife because she's struggling with whatever..... then I have no pity on him. Despite popular belief sexual intimacy is important but it is not everything. I could LITERLLY love my wife even if she didn't want to have sex and not because I have a low libido. True LOVE transcends sexual intimacy overall.
This advice is difficult to actually use- but try to marry someone with a similar sex drive as you. If you’re pretty confident you’re an every day kind of person try not to marry someone who’s content with once a month. And know that nothing is wrong with either- but if you share that marriage value you’ll have much smoother sailing in bed.
Specifically advice about sex after pregnancy- we were so focused on having our first child that we didn’t prepare AT ALL for the 6 weeks postpartum when you’re not allowed to have sex. We went from sex every day, to that massive break, and it was mentally, physically and emotionally SO difficult.
In our house we think of sex not as a treat, but as a need. Plan for times when you’ll go without, but also be very aware if you and your spouse are starving. In a lot of ways losing sex is like if your spouse just stopped speaking to you for days on end. It can make you feel really alone. Or if your partner wants sex much more than you it could make you feel smothered.
@Alias Fakename That’s why I said it would be difficult to actually use that advice.
Might be worth it to have some very frank conversations about libido, attitudes about sex, and all of that. Same as it’s a good idea to talk about finances, and family structure beforehand. 🤷🏻♀️ it’s not easy- but I’ve got friends who have struggled a lot because they have different concepts of how often sex should happen. One person will end up having to sacrifice in a really important area of life if they don’t agree at least somewhat.
I get the idea, I just don't know if that can be achieved in real life. The problem with this is that sex drives change over time for all sorts of reasons. Especially with pregnancy & breastfeeding, hormones and sex drive in our house have done a complete 180°. I am married to someone very different now compared to 8 years ago. And then there's the difficult to impossible task of identifying/quantifying your sex drive before you're married & have had sex, it's a total unknown.
There has to be times that the men are the ones who aren’t “feeling it” sometimes too, right?
I feel like TV shows and movies have always made it like the woman always “has a headache” or the woman is doing it just for the man or it’s funny to make excuses up to not have to do it 😒, and I hate how it makes it look like it’s only for men, ya know? Like it’s not enjoyable for women.
I get what you’re saying :) I would say that stats show men often are the ones with higher s*x drives more or the time. But not always :)
I agree with you so much ! I hate seeing that
LOL. These comments
Statistically, only about half of men in marriages have the higher sex drives. In 1/4 of marriages women have higher sex drives and in the other 1/4 they have equal sex drives.
I'm 18 and decided to watch this video. I'm a Christian and I'm mature enough hear about this topic. Sex is a beautiful thing between husband and wife
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Don't know how you're doing now but fair warning, they have a few problems in their relationship that needs to be addressed. Big grain of salt when taking their advice.
I did not safe myself for marriage. but now I understand why people wait. God wants us to enjoy sex with one person who stays with us and not use our bodies or disrespect us.
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They said every other day!! 😂
I’ve got 4 kids, yo!!!!
Hahah! But, this was cool- I love y’all taking the convo *there*!
A lot of times we treat sex like a forbidden topic! It needs to be acceptable to talk about in the Christian community! It is a gift from God for man and woman, something only those two people can share! It’s so special and amazing!
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Haha, that’s what I was thinking 😂 We have 5 and married 20 years. We are super happy with once or twice a week. No one needs to feel pressured about that frequency 😜
I absolutely love this video. So many christian marriages have very bad sex lives and especially for women, women tend to just view it as their job to please the man and the man just wants to hop in and get it done and so many people and especially Christian women are in these very miserable, pleasureless marriages and it really makes me so sad all the stories I read, it honestly breaks my heart to know this is such a huge issue for Christian couples and it is because of lack of education, I mean it doesn’t have to be explicit but education is needed to understand your own body as well as the basics of the others body and when the time comes and you have a sex life than I believe it is a wonderful thing to study and learn as much as you can about your partners body, how it works and how to satisfy them more and let me tell you a 100% fact, the more a woman enjoys sex the more she will want to have sex, and another FACT, truly for most women there is nothing sexier than a tough man being sensitive and gentle and caring with your body and seeing how much they want to please us just makes us want to return the favor even more after. Being selfless will gain you more in the end.
I am so ecstatic that you two made another video on this subject. I am a 25 single gentleman who prays for his future wife everyday. I think this is one of the most important (and tragically neglected) topics across Christianity, especially since we live in such an over-sexualized world. I've spent years reading and researching Christian views on sex and sexuality and you two so appropriately gave tons and tons of good advice. You two are the best and I totally love your content.
Aww thank you😊
I prayed for my current husband as a teenager. I even journaled it out. I have evidence of prayers from around the time he was saved! Prayers are so powerful. Keep praying ❤️
Such good advice and I'm not even a christian. You two are so wise. Appreciate y'all sharing.
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I’m sorry, but what do you do if one partner doesn’t enjoy sex at all?
I have sex with a Criminal before marriage I didn't know the Lord at the time but when I ask for forgiveness I felt the Lord's forgiveness fall upon me
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Good convo guys. Im single (divorced), and in my marriage it was me who wanted sex a lot more than my ex. Sometimes it would be two weeks, and i remember it was very frustrating. The issues with sex were noticeable at the beginning. I tried to make him excitied (sexy lingerie etc etc) and nothing would get him excitied. Sometimes we had sex more often, it wasn’t always every few weeks. And whenever we had sex it was very very good, it was awesome. But during my marriage i found out my ex suffered from depression which explains his lack of interest in sex. If i was still married to him, i would talk about sex openly without embarrasement (which i think it an issue with a lot of couple and why they dont talk about it). I was a lot younger then, and when i subtly tried to talk about it, he couldnt handle it, wouldnt listen and got his feelings hurt, so i stopped even trying. Nasty cycle, it takes maturity on both sides.
I feel for you....been married 25 years, it's the same for me. No depression here....just not that into sex....more a friendship and partnership....great marriage otherwise.... I had to really pray and ask God to help me cope and pick up my cross and carry it everyday. Mostly we hear about men complaining about not enough sex, but not that much from the woman side.
@@tanjasmit7535 Indeed sister. It seems its mostly men who think its men who dont get enough sex, i think its works both ways, fifty fifty.
Thank you for sharing🙏
You should only have sex if you really want it, if that's every day or once a week that's totally fine, everyone works different and have different sex drives, needs etc.
I just want to add to this that perhaps if the woman, who typically has the lower libido, doesn't feel up to participating in intimacy, the man should never ever get frustrated about that. You are not owed that, and that can really negatively effect the woman's mental health. This does go both ways
love how they avoided replying to this comment, this couple is so toxic
we're on 31 years and still learning
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Getting married in 4 months and this video was so helpful!! My fiancé and I are waiting until marriage but have started to have open conversations about this stuff because we know it's so important. I wrote down all the resources you mentioned and hope to try them out when I'm married! Thank you so much for sharing this advice!
Congratulations on 5 years of marriage! Great Video. ...a husband and wife "are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate" (Matthew 19:6). Blessings.
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If you get tired in the evening, you don't have to wait until evening. Try the afternoon, or first thing in the morning. There's no rule saying it has to be at bedtime.
I really respect and appreciate and admire how much it's so clear that you both are genuinely so committed to wanting to help and support your community. Despite different belief systems and lifestyles, I really like you guys.
I can’t believe the majority of the comments don’t see the red flags in this video. Ugh.
One big take away for me... Is learning to be selflessly considerate and investing in adventuring together, in this topic of sex in marriage... Blessings to you in Christ Alone... Appreciate all the work y'alls do🙇🏿♂️✝️💯
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Wow, this talk is so needed 🙏
I will be quite clueless my wedding night though. I didn't not mind. if I meet the right man, we'll have the rest of our lives to learn together
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As a woman who was a virgin on my wedding night, yes of course you’ll be clueless…. Because you’ve never done it before! But definitely open the conversation and get used to communicating about sex while you are engaged. Going through a Christian book with practical training helped us too. On my wedding night, of course everything was a little scary and crazy and different. I actually had a panic attack! But, I feel so safe and communicative with my partner that it wasn’t too embarrassing and it didn’t stop us from trying other approaches. In short, don’t go in totally blind, but also know that the BEAUTY of married sex is the safety and freedom to be clumsy while you figure things out!
Since being pregnant I’ve really struggled with this, as soon as I hit second trimester it’s become very painful, pretty much sharp agony, and I have no drive at all either. It’s like my body just needs a severe break, and luckily my husband is so understanding but I do think it’s a difficult time in this department :(
Totally relate! Being physically intimate/affectionate in ways that are comfortable/feel good for you will help him get through, so he knows he’s loved and not rejected. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
This video has so much VALUE for all married Christians!!
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Also I just want to say I don’t believe you’ve ever “went to far” with any of your videos about sex and intimacy even when being open and talking about your own sex lives, you have both always spoken very respectfully (I think you could give a bit more details, though!) and still get your points across. Sometimes I do think you should be a little more specific about certain things but thats my opinion and you have to do what is comfortable for you both and it takes time to get comfortable speaking of these types of things on camera. Speaking openly about your intimacy and intimate experiences takes courage and you’ve always done it respectfully. Keep doing what you do! God bless you Paul and Morgan!
Been married for 8 years and yes 100% to communication and talking about how each other feel about how your intimacy is going my husband and I always check in with each other and see what we might need to change or what the other might want to try and it’s a great way to stay aware with ea h other
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I'm nowhere even near Christian, but I just like you guys a lot. Been following you since the start :) Glad to see you in such a good place. Take care
I am single but will definitely be using this advice if I ever get married. Thanks for talking about this guys. God Bless
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Paul is so sweet and I am really happy to know he actually cares about your sexual experience and the fact he is learning about it is a wonderful thing since a lot of men want to think they already know it all and don't need to “learn” anything or don’t want to read about it because their stubborn and it hurts their “ego” or others that just plain don’t care about their wives which is very sad but seeing how much he cares to improve your sex life and cares to learn, that is truly a blessing to have a man like that, Morgan! So don’t discourage it, please! You are extremely lucky as a christian woman.
I'm getting married in 6 months and we are totally inexperienced in this area (having saved ourselves), so this was helpful preparation, thank you!
Great to hear you both saved yourselves, Congrats! 🙌🏾
@@HolinessUntoTheLord. Thanks! Praise God!
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Best advice for a being married. I have only been married for almost a year. It's will be a year April 7th. I would say continue to pursue each other. Be best friends and get to know each other more
Excellent conversation! After forty eight years of marriage our bodies don’t work right and sex doesn’t look like it did when we were young, but we still satisfy and love each other every much. Married sex is wonderful!
Since you said you've been married 48 years, I'm guessing you are around 70 years of age. Would you be willing to share about how often you and your spouse get intimate? I know this is a very personal question... So please don't take it the wrong way💚
@@kfenton4154 you are correct. I am 68 and my husband is 73 and we have sex every week! Most of the time it is on Sunday afternoon after a good nap, sometimes we pick a late afternoon during the week. Another part of aging is that the triggers for desire have changed. For me it includes a wonderful bath, music, candles, perfume (that triggers my senses), and talking about how we are going to enjoy one another when we get together. It helps too that we laugh a lot and don’t take ourselves too seriously. (Remember I said our bodies don’t work right), but we have also learned to grieve what we’ve lost and rejoice in what we have! I am just so grateful that God has helped us to make this part of our marriage a priority. Oh yes, and a good meal afterwards is important too!
@@darceybirkenstock Thank you for answering this question so intentionally and graciously. I'll be getting married soon to the love of my life and I was just curious about what our future may look like. God bless you 💚
Absolutely agree! Thanks for your content) Watching you I’m picking up a lot of interesting information (like what is happening in the world) and at the same time learning English))
I’m married and fortunately there haven’t been any huge problems in this sphere, but what I’ve learnt:
1) women also shouldn’t be focusing only on herself and just caring if she is comfortable at that moment
2) men also can be in inappropriate mood for sex or be worried about something, so its better to have a deep talk and support him instead of demanding sex
Thank you for talking about this topic)
So I’ve had this question for a while now! I know that in biblical times it was forbidden for spouses to have sex during the woman’s period because she was considered impure. Does that still apply for today’s times? Or is it up to the couple to decide wether they want to have sex during that time if they are comfortable?
I’ve been curious about this as well!
It still applies. Sex should not take place during a woman's menstruation.
RUclips puts an ad RIGHT as paul reads: If I were to surprise you with ....AD. LOL! 😂
Haha
Hoping to be married soon. You guys are so brave and vital to the married and wish to be married Christian community, glad I found you.😊
What you say around minute 19, YES YES YES!!! You learn and grow together. There is no such thing as trying it out to see if you are “sexually compatible”. You desire each other because you love and serve each other, you learn to please each other because over time you learn to please each other, etc. etc. It is a learned skill and a build up of trust and love for each other. Good sex is not an instant thing and not the same all the time, so if you “try it out” and it is good its going to stay good always, NOPE. I’m so interested in those cards.
Amen, so good! 🙌 Wake up to this people. Obey God’s design🙏
So true!
I just love the way you guys talk about it because you are able to be specific without disrespecting it and you discuss it in such a beautiful way that makes it sound as holy as it is and how it is a gift from God! I am not married but I would like to be; I’m going to be 18 March 31, and as far as I know no guy has ever been interested in me but I’m hoping Gods will for my life isn’t to stay single
So encouraging to hear it gets better vs worse in time. Also the app/games idea, and tips like doing it earlier in the night helps a lot. Super appreciate u guys!! Btw I’m 10 months into marriage!
I like that this one did not sound like porn. References to share could have been more biblically based but other than that, I think we are all learning and all a work in progress.
Your year 1 and year 2 sounded a little like ours I would guess. Ours had a more tragic effect. I was a virgin and he wasn’t when we got married. My sex drive back then is almost like zero but willing to grow. That didn’t mean I don’t desire him though. I didn’t like to watch porn. I was disgusted over it. I didn’t have a healthy want for sex coz I didn’t know how that even looks like. But I wanted it so bad to happen in a healthy and Godly way and I didn’t know how that would look like in the beginning of our marriage. I was expecting our first to be beautifully memorable and not physically painful for me. So yeah there was fear of physical pain involved. So on the other hand, his sex drive is not just manly but also worldly empowered with all the brokenness of his past sex experience, porn, and world influences on sex. I don’t know how to word it all appropriately, but basically, we were extremely moving from two directions when it comes to sex on our first year. I wasn’t expecting that he would be expecting sex on the first day of our marriage either. We didn’t have sex the first day. I thought that was more a cultural expectation though. He was very resentful we’re not having it. And I was resentful why he is resentful over that matter. In my mind, we just got married. It means I gave my life to him whole and for a lifetime. We have a “long” lifetime to go to keep making love and getting better as I was expecting we would learn first from Christian marriage books and the Bible how to do Christian making love first and go from there. It went on months not having sex after the wedding and I had no idea how it was hurting him. we would try to talk and we’re not really understanding each other. Moving on, now we have a better sex life than year 1&2&3&4… but still a lot to work on. If he is more open, I think it would exponentially mature fast and grow more awesome.
I got questions more specifically on Paul, what maid it painful or hurting during those days you’re not having it and why? Have you tried to go deep on those questions?
What insights if ever can you share to your daughter when she gets married and to other women about to get married? I wanna hear from the men this time. I can hear more and more men teaching nowadays about the matter saying it’s very painful for them, but I never really understand why? Why does it make them resentful about it also?
Yessss, this! It’s such a taboo subject and we’re always told “ITS BIOLOGY, MEN JUST NEED SEX OKAY!!” But very obviously, there is a cultural/emotional/personal dimension to the phenomenon of many men being obsessed with sex. Time for a frank conversation!
I have a very different view on the topic of what should wait until marriage, however I really like you guys and how you handle this topic! Your advice is really sound and good enough to be applicable to different lifestyles, we don’t all have to agree but we have to respect each other’s beliefs which you guys seem like you do. Personally, I think that whatever people value shouldn’t wait until marriage because it’s important to establish those boundaries before making a (hopefully) lifetime commitment to someone. Anyway long story short, props to you guys for talking about this in a community that isn’t always so accepting of this, it’s really bold and I admire that.
Yeah, you two definitely don’t have children - especially a special needs child. Your story would definitely change. You can go months, and your partner will still be understanding. Let’s see your video when married for 17 years with 3 kids, full time jobs, and just beyond exhausted.
You do have some good advice, but you’re still lacking some in experience.
Blessings to you both.
Well in the beginning they mentioned that this video is for people who will consider being married in the near future, or couples that are about to get married. So their advice is not being told from a parents perspective. I could imagine that after they become parents they will have different advice for married couples and who are thinking of having kids, in which comments like yours would be discussed!
To other single people out there who are nowhere close to getting married, I would highly recommend to not watch this type of content, if you know it can become a stumbling block to you and arouse love before it's time. I used to watch this kind of videos where Christians talk about their sex life but after some time, God helped me to realize it was very unhealthy for me to do so. It would just lead me to picture how my sex life would be like once I get married and led me to have lustful thoughts. I also realized that there were so many better things to do than learning about sex when you are single. Doing this type of research will make more sense once I will get engaged and thus closer to getting married.
"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until the time is right." Song of Solomon 8:4
Thanks for sharing this!
Yes God has helped me through this too!
We ought to use our time Very wisely & Not give the enemy a foothold!
*Ephesians 5:15-16*
Those thoughts are awakened wether I watch this video or not, because we are in human bodies, it’s just the way it is, that’s why when we get married we are able and want to have sex, it’s because we already had those thoughts before it.
That’s a VERY unhealthy way of thinking
@@EmelieStenberg How so? ^^
@@arbretree5463 because sex and sexual thoughts are totally normal and natural
We had it last week!! Some weird symptoms, it seemed like all of the symptoms of any kind of cold and flu you could get came between us and our whole family. I’m grateful the least powerful one come swooping through and giving us some antibodies! Lol
In my life there is no sex often because my husband does not want me. I don’t know why. He says that Im very beatyful and all. 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for this video- I myself will be in this season soon (God willing) so it’s a good to learn!! I never see videos like this
As a woman the only thing I felt shocked by was having sex every other day seems like a LOT. Like soooo much. That’s crazy to me
I didn’t find that to shock me. My husband is going to be the only man for me
Well, they still are in a phase of life where they are a family of 2.
@@Sebadoh1994 ya having sex that much is still a lot regardless. My body would be dying for a break
@@schampie99 still seems like a lot for a woman. Paul is a lucky man
I don't think we need to put specific requirements on ourselves like that. If that's what works for them, great. But it's a personal decision between you and your partner, there's no rule that works for everyone!
I love this video. Thank you guys! Personally my husband and I have sex about every 4 to 5 days, around once or twice a week but we really like it that way. It’s kind of like hitting the reset button and it makes everything feel 10 times better lol.
😊😊
Morgan is so beautiful
❤️
True! Would love to know how she glowed up btw because even though she was already beautiful at the start of their channel, she definitely had a glow up 😍!
Guys are insensitive for the Most part in this area. And Honestly those are the kind of guys I stay clear of.
Just remember if you have kids it will change at different seasons. I’d say the average amount if you have two kids is 3 times a month. That seems small but having kids is a fulltime job mentally emotionally physically etc. and its ok as long as both people are communicating like you mentioned in your video :).
That seems like a lot compared to what I'm used to. I had no idea until reading the comments that folks have sex so often.
When we as Christian married couples are intimate, it brings unity and makes our bond stronger, a bond no devil can ever get through! It makes us one in Christ and spiritualy one and very strong. If Christian couples have issues in their marriage, just talk about what they like and do it, as often as possible. The issues will seem so small. Of course communication is very important, but intimacy is the 2% glue that keeps Christian married couples together for life.
I mostly agree on that you can work on it in your marriage so mostly "being incompatible" would just requitlre that learning process to tune in on each other and adjust but I still think about those stories people share on having been allergic to their partners sperm or the first kiss fesling like you are kissing your brother/sister, those are real signs of genetic incompatibility that would likely create problems when it came to having kids :/
Allergic to your partners sperm ..?
@@HolinessUntoTheLord. Yep, that's a thing that can happen to women, being literally allergic to particular people... also all those stories about how while being with that one boyfriend they would constantly get uti's and that has never happened with anyone else before or after, I wonder if that's the same thing.
I don't know if I want to get married anymore because the awkwardness of this conversation is to much for me to handle. lol but great video!!!
Ahhhhhh, I feel that 🥲😅 ...
Virgins like me watching the video👁️👄👁️
😊
No need to practice chastity. Just marry a closeted gay man - yay! 🙏
I love you guys!! So genuine and so full of Jesus ♥️!
❤️🙏
do you guys listen to Dave and Ashley Willis? they talk about this a lot! Naked Marriage podcast is a great christian podcast!
I’ve heard of them :)
So good to hear you guys post about sex. Found you as a single abs watched all your videos. Being an newlywed just shy of 2 months, this is so encouraging. Keep doing what you do for the kingdom. You guys rock!
❤️🙏
Awesome transparency
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Something I struggle with is feeling guilty if my husband and I have sex but we didn’t pray together that day or I didn’t spend enough time with God alone that day. I know it is a command to have sex often, but where is the line between having sex and praying or reading together instead? Also we have a kid and are very busy humans so don’t always get a lot of down time alone together.
There is no command to have sex often. Obviously people in marriage *should* have sex as a way of connecting, but frequency is up to the individual and it changes based on stages of life, like the one you mentioned. Sometimes reading and praying together brings much more intimacy than sex, particularly when you’re exhausted or one person isn’t feeling pleasure.
Sex does not have to only happen at night.
True :)
What do you guys think about incorporating things you would find at most erotic adult stores with a spouse? IE: toys, lingerie, etc. Do you think it's okay to use things like that in marriage or do you think God is up there like "Y'all nasty" ? LOL
I'm not sure I understand the point of your question as a response to what I said; and I am not quite sure how I should even reply to it... My thought is if everyone was asexual how would people even want to get married and reproduce? Sex isn't forbidden; it's just frowned upon outside of marriage. Sexual nature is humanly... But, like wanting to be in sexual relations with various people, prior to marriage, etc is sinful.
You don't have to be asexual to have some sort of self control... lol
I was curious about if they would cover this topic or not. Now I’m saying this as someone who’s not devoutly religious in this season of my life (take it with a grain of salt if you are more religious) but I find it very freeing to be vulnerable with my partner about my likes and dislikes. Without fear of them being disgusted with me - and I often wonder if that level of vulnerability truly exists in Christian marriages when it comes to discussing toys, fantasies, etc. Especially in the day and age where you don’t have to walk into a sex store where it’s hard to control what you’re exposed to. A lot of stuff you can just find online via Amazon like they did with the cards lol.
God bless you both for these tips. This is really good stuff! Keep up these vids. It defies the world's caricatures of Christians as people who are afraid of sex.
😊🙏
Every other day?!? Wow. I'm lucky if my wife is willing once a month. I would like to see this video recreated after Paul and Morgan have a couple kids, things change and get incredibly more complicated, at least they did with us. When pregnancy & breast feeding hormones are at play (which has been the last 6 years essentially nonstop), she has no sex drive and actually quite the opposite, even the act of kissing is like fingernails on the chalkboard and she can't stand it. I feel like this fact completely negates any advice in this video because it essentially shuts it it all down. What do you do if it's not enjoyable at all? And then there's the dealing with small children all day long on top of everything else that needs done while I'm at work, meaning most evenings she's exhausted by dinner time and falls asleep with the kids. And the kids have been sleeping in our room and more often then than not in our bed since birth. But how do you stop it, chain them to their beds? Close the door on them and let them scream for hours outside your bedroom. My wife would argue that's child abuse. It's just doesn't appear to be very realistic for regular intimacy with kids in the picture.
Great advice. Been married now for 4years and let me yell yall some of your advice was on point.
You should write a book. I would buy it!
Good job! Y'all get better and better 👍
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Very true ! Communication with love and respect is the key ! Mutual understanding... prayers and Jesus in the center can do a lot !
Amen🙏
Hey, I have a question und would be interested what you think about it. I know a person who thinks That it is okay to move together with her fiancé before getting officially married (I think you know what that will mean with sex Life) and she is convinced that it is not a sin against god. Her Argument is that the bibel has no specific law until which exactly Point the marriage begins. She says that it is enough when you say your vows to each other and infront of god and when you come together intimatly the marriage would start. My personal opinion is, that marriage starts with the official wedding day. I have to be honest, I‘m from Germany and I don‘t know how it works in your Country, but in germany you have to Go to the registry Office to be an official married Couple and the most christians make a second ceremony in the Church to get the blessing of god. But the registry office is the requirement that your marriage is officially accepted. My question: from what point does marriage begin?
God bless you two!
@Alias Fakename It seems that you’re the one who actually didn’t read the Bible. At least in it’s proper context anyway. God never said nor commanded for men to even have concubines. Plus God made Adam and Eve for each other, not Adam +5 wives lol wut. So if you’re ever gonna comment that you know some head knowledge about biblical stuff, check again. Don’t talk about it as if you know what you’re saying.
What were the apps called?
I’m a single Christian but I want to be married some day. Thank you for your tips!
Welcome😊
Sex is more like a sport for a man. Even "a really nice guy." I don't think I've ever heard sex analogy from a woman describe sex like that.
Should Christians talk about culture and sex this much I don't think they should maybe if asked but not all the time that should be between you and your wife or husband God bless.
I love this! Thank you for covering this topic
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My husband and I also schedule sex lmao, if we didn’t we would both put it off forever. It gets to the point where we are both just too tired and the work necessary outweighs the desire lol.
Every other night?! Gosh I miss pre baby days... Haha jk. We've also always had to live with other people so it's not JUST baby but they do make it more challenging.
Why does Paul hesitate to call your sex life great? Genuinely can’t understand
I take antidepressants too and it's lowered my libido and I didn't have a higher one to start with lol how did u overcome tht issue
I appreciate the knowledge that is given
My husband and I didn’t touch until our wedding day The Bible said “It is good for a man to not touch a woman”. we have had 0 issues because communication is half of intimacy.
Are you saying you didn't touch at all? No hug or anything?
@@redzin8818 yeah! My husband takes scripture very seriously and we didn’t want to open any doors that we wouldn’t later be able to close.
@@mikaeladonegan2430 I don't see anything wrong with your choice not to touch before marriage. But I don't think it says in the Bible, "it is good for a man to not touch a woman".
@@redzin8818 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 (KJV) 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
@@mikaeladonegan2430 I use the Complete Jewish Bible and it's worded differently. It says to stay away from women. Of course the context is there to avoid sexual immorality.
Loved the realness I’m over the walk on egg shells don’t talk about this or that Christians
Thank you
I loooveee these cards!!!
Morgan do you have a secret to beautiful hair?! I think it everyone I watch your videos lol.
I would be interested in your opinion about what classifies as sodomy? Because some say oral sex or any other position but missionary is sinful even within marriage
I'm currently seeing a guy, hopefully will lead to a courtship, as it is brand new. So, glad to hear all your advice. He lives in another state to me; which is good in a way, but sucks at the same time. We both have a child each and he was previously married... So, I'm not sure about the whole thing yet with his previous marriage...
Unfortunately... In my rebellious year's; I was pretty promiscuous. I definitely learnt and know way too much than I should about sex.