How I fell in love with an ordinary life as a SAHM. *former career obsessed overachiever*

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  • Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024

Комментарии • 88

  • @jessicarothley
    @jessicarothley  Месяц назад +8

    Did you relate to any one of these more than the others? I'd love to know your journey!

    • @RobertaStonequist
      @RobertaStonequist Месяц назад +1

      the conversation of skills gained in motherhood, eye opening. thanks!

    • @innal5663
      @innal5663 20 дней назад

      Thank you for this video ♥️ I’m pregnant with my first and just found out he might have a club foot. I’m overwhelmed with the extra work it will take to correct the foot, but I’m grateful to have stumbled across this video.
      I love reading and already got the book you recommended in the video. If you have any other recommendations, please share. I could use all the knowledge and wisdom I can get before the baby comes🙏🏻

  • @cristina___eve
    @cristina___eve Месяц назад +15

    Oh my goodness, what I would do for a community of likeminded women like you around me! I relate to this 1000%, you have me wanting to go into a new day with my 13-month-old with immense joy and gratitude that I get to be with her every second of every day. Thank you for talking about this here

  • @YZR123-c5l
    @YZR123-c5l Месяц назад +6

    This was 100% spot on. I would also add that with each child you have you are reconfiguring things out. You’re getting into a new rhythm with a whole new person in your family and that’s gonna require that learning on the job that Jessica mentioned. But once you do and you let go of the echo of other peoples voices and really get down to how you want to mother there is a tremendous amount of peace and joy that you can experience as a homemaker and a safe home, mother, that possible and completely different and unrelated to your role in the corporate world.

  • @heatherframpton9693
    @heatherframpton9693 7 дней назад

    It is SO underrated how much of a transition & also priviledge it is to be a stay-at-home Mom! ❤
    I was so blessed, now many years ago to be a "SAHM" to my then three young stepsons. ❤

  • @JennyYogi
    @JennyYogi Месяц назад +4

    The end of the video made me cry... I feel so exhausted right now with my 15 month old daughter... but you gave me new perspective, it made me think a lot, thank you❤

  • @bountyofhealth7712
    @bountyofhealth7712 Месяц назад +7

    Also- meeting my own needs with my children is something I never think about, and really need to. Thank you for your raw honesty 🤗

  • @sailawaytome
    @sailawaytome Месяц назад +27

    It's so hard to be a mom, work full-time, be a good wife/partner, be a good friend, get enough sleep, practice self-care, etc. I'm so tired all the time. I wish I could be a SAHM, but I feel that same guilt and I want us to have more than enough financially to care for them as well. It's never a win-win. I appreciate you showcasing a healthy way to approach this! Thank you! 🩷

    • @capricebachor7632
      @capricebachor7632 Месяц назад +8

      That desire is from the Lord. I’m confident that if you ask him to show you the way and give you the heart to prioritize what he prioritizes he is able to make it happen for you in his way and his time. 💛

    • @chantalyt
      @chantalyt Месяц назад +8

      Being a SAHM is exhausting. I truly believe stay at home moms believe working will give them a break and working moms believe being a SAHM will give them a break. It's just so hard.

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад +3

      I totally get that. I'm grateful my video was helpful even in a small way!

    • @sailawaytome
      @sailawaytome Месяц назад

      @@jessicarothley thank you! You are so appreciated.

    • @sailawaytome
      @sailawaytome Месяц назад +1

      @@chantalyt yep, I completely agree. It's always a tough road and is work no matter which way you go!

  • @shaiyannemyrick9265
    @shaiyannemyrick9265 Месяц назад +4

    You nailed it!! The first 5 mins spoke to me so deeply. While I was pregnant I went through therapy for the mother’s wound. It was the best thing I ever did for my baby and myself. For me, I believe it’s a constant unlearning and cultivating a new and deeper bond with nurturing self and my child.
    Yess I truly love this conversation. Especially bounce back culture!! I have learned to embrace being the mother!!! My maiden years are over and I’m a new creation just like my baby ❤
    Okay I need to finish the video 😂 this is so good

  • @rvchill
    @rvchill Месяц назад +8

    I’m so happy I subscribed to you a few months ago, this is 100% the content i’ve been dying for and needing. Thanks so much for just existing ❤
    - ps i’m not a mom and I don’t have kids (yet i’m 28) and with everything women go through in this time, it’s very hard to see any positives to being a mom or being in a relationship in general. and seeing videos like this really eases my anxiety about making life changing decisions.

  • @TS26
    @TS26 11 дней назад

    500th like! ❤ I could relate so much as a former working mom who has always been productive and perfectionist. I finally let go of my expectations and others’ expectations and embraced what I truly wanted. Peace and connection. And time for life. Loved your video. Touched my heart and happy motherhood to you too!

  • @DominiqueAshurst
    @DominiqueAshurst Месяц назад +2

    As a chronic over produce mom myself, thank you. The cultivating joy tip was the most impactful tip for me.
    I’d love to see a video about your schedule and how you set up a schedule! I go between no schedule to rigid unmaintainable schedule. We hear a lot as about having schedules and routines being best for everyone but as a SAHM it feels some type of way because I don’t have a lot of appointments or outings and such to schedule (I also have very little community and it’s not consistent so I don’t have a schedule full of play dates or activities since my area is a resource desert) so I’m like what’s the point ya know. I truly love your perspective and I struggle more than I would like to admit on finding joy in motherhood because I feel like a victim to it (my mother would is very strong. I have a mom who never wanted/should have been a mother and as her oldest never let me forget that and reminded me daily that she loved her step daughter and youngest more because she didn’t have to go through what she did with me with them. Like getting off drugs and having cps involved. Which I am the first person in 6 generations, 3 on both sides, to be sober and to heal and not accept “I had a bad mom so I get to a slightly different bad mom which makes me the best mom” and I didn’t know breaking generational trauma was so hard when there’s no mom to get advice from anywhere in your life and it makes you question everything ) thanks for being that big sister mom advice I need more than anything rn

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  29 дней назад +2

      Dom, what an AMAZING testimony of perseverance and strength to choose differently than the brokenness of your parents or what was modeled for you. Your efforts are not void, even if you don't feel the fruits right now. There are many, many moms in this position of blazing a new trail and not having the support but stepping into a new kind of motherhood than they had. What you're doing isn't just amazing for your daughter, but for you as well. Being the mom you needed for yourself, that's incredible.
      As far as schedule, I much more have a basic rhythm and will totally try to make more videos on it!

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  29 дней назад +1

      Also, i'm not sure if you have a daughter or son, but they are blessed to a have a mom like you who is choosing a different path

    • @DominiqueAshurst
      @DominiqueAshurst 27 дней назад +1

      @@jessicarothley I have 3 sons. And thank you so much for such kindness and conviction!

  • @capricebachor7632
    @capricebachor7632 Месяц назад +3

    Meet your needs with your kids… That’s a great point! Homeschooling mama of 4 here. And I’ve been loosening up on cramming everything into before they get up and after they go to sleep. Some of those habits are great ones for them to observe and model. I still love early time with the Lord and my Bible, it’s a must for me, but yet it’s good for them to see me open the word during the day, do a workout while they play or take a shower while they play nicely together while in the other room. These are good things. And it definitely cuts down on the feeling of disappointment if my time is cut short or they aren’t in bed on time. This has been something I’ve embraced with my children as they’ve gotten a little older (4/9.) it makes for a more relaxed day. We homeschool too! So being around and responsive for them (without ear buds in) has been an incredibly feeing habit! Phones away!

  • @ravennepantoja637
    @ravennepantoja637 Месяц назад +9

    I cried at the end. I’m a new foster mom of two and have been having such a hard time adjusting. My goal and desire is to be a SAHM but I’m working two jobs trying to meet everyone’s needs, and I have just been feeling like “this isn’t the mom I wanted to be.” There’s so much pressure to be more, do this, accomplish that - and it’s so helpful to see someone who is where I hope to be talking about how worth it it is to transition. My husband and I have been having a lot of deep conversations lately about how we can change our lifestyle so that we can have a more slow, nurturing life and bring me home. This was so encouraging to watch, Jess. Thank you so much.

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад +3

      what a major adjustment mama, that's a big deal! And those conversations are the seed planted to big change, so grateful this video was encouraging:)

    • @sailawaytome
      @sailawaytome Месяц назад +1

      @@ravennepantoja637 I'm also a new foster mom to an infant and work full time too and it's sooo hard sometimes. I'm with you!

    • @amanda.rose.tallon
      @amanda.rose.tallon Месяц назад +3

      Fellow working foster mama here too! One year in with our now one year old medically fragile foster daughter (soon to be adopted daughter) and it’s a balancing act most days but it does get easier in time.🤎

  • @theparttimehomemaker
    @theparttimehomemaker 19 дней назад

    I love what you said in the meeting your needs with kids section and about minimising commitments ❤❤

  • @rpena9142
    @rpena9142 Месяц назад +1

    I feel like I needed to hear this. I’ve been thinking how am I so tired and when physically it’s not that I am tired, it’s more mentally with trying to maintain my former self when I never thought to say “Hello” to the mom I’ve become and just embrace her. I feel like I’ve had so much time with my little as a SAHM, but also, because I wasn’t embracing who I’ve become that I’ve been more in my head running around (essentially stealing time away from my little and I) than being present to enjoy the time with my little.

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад

      yes I can relate to this feeling! this was a lot of early motherhood for me

  • @zm881
    @zm881 3 дня назад

    Thank you so much for this video. I've come back and watched it multiple times, as well as your video on body image and bounceback culture. I needed this so much, thank you

  • @evarosegger631
    @evarosegger631 Месяц назад +1

    Oh wow. This video connects so many dots for me.. this is so incredibly helpful!😢 it describes why I try to Slow down and be content with my kids at home all day so hard but inside I still feel this urge to constantly DO something and be annoyed when they need me „too much“. It is exactly what my mum did when I was a young girl. She wanted peace and quiet and her freedom and somehow it felt as if she wasn‘t enjoying being with me all the time. Maybe I felt like a burden to her. But I feel that I love my Kids and I enjoy them and being with them and I don‘t want this unsettling feeling of annoiance underlying everything we do😮 Thank you so much for bringing this up!😊🎉❤

  • @gabi6217
    @gabi6217 Месяц назад

    I needed this and wished for more at the end. Thank you. I’ve been being more playful with my little ones and releasing control, and what a difference it has made in everyday moments with them. More giggles and laughs on both sides for sure!

  • @elgabenedicta
    @elgabenedicta Месяц назад +2

    I almost cried when you talked about meeting my needs with my kids because it's been so hard.. I have 2 year old boy and girl twins and to say that I am overwhelmed and struggling is such an understatement 🙈😢
    I didn't have alone time maybe ever since they were born. They rarely nap or fall asleep at the same time and each have very different interests and ways to play, My baby boy is speech delayed and I want to spend quality time with him to stimulate and converse with him, but my baby girl is very attached to me and very demanding of my presence/attention for every single thing that she do. I feel like I am always torn between the two of them everyday. Please pray for me 🙏

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад +1

      praying right now, for strength and patience and for progress in learning to meet your needs while also meeting your kids. It is very difficult but I hope this video was encouraging, even in a small way mama!

    • @chantalyt
      @chantalyt Месяц назад +1

      I feel this deeply. I have a 2 and 4 year old with ZERO help besides my husband who works full time. I don't get a lunch break or any form of free time, pretty much ever. At times it's pure joy to be with my kids. Other times I'm so overwhelmed I go into full mental breakdown. I have tried so hard to simply change my mindset but when it's not enough and the physical/mental exhaustion sets in I feel so guilty.

  • @Kim.firsttimemomlife
    @Kim.firsttimemomlife 29 дней назад

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m a new mom and decided to quit my fast pace business life to stay home.. thinking bout sharing my journey but scared nobody will care 😅

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  29 дней назад

      sharing whats on your heart in the hopes of serving others never returns void, I believe that

  • @kristylively2734
    @kristylively2734 Месяц назад

    Thank you for sharing this view point. I love how you compare it to a job transition and understanding that there will be adjustments and that is normal! I enjoy you videos on living a softer life ❤️

  • @bountyofhealth7712
    @bountyofhealth7712 Месяц назад +2

    Wow wow wow, best conversation on this subject I’ve ever heard ❤

  • @ellacaulfield9939
    @ellacaulfield9939 25 дней назад

    Nailed it. Thanks for making this video. I feel very seen 🙏

  • @jameelahall7126
    @jameelahall7126 Месяц назад +1

    All your videos create positive changes in me. Thank you for your content!!

  • @redhot654
    @redhot654 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you for this video, it's incredibly relateable and positive which is a hard combination

  • @MsJelsica
    @MsJelsica Месяц назад

    Seriously love this! Especially the conversation around meeting my needs with my toddler with me!
    I want to learn this skill 😍tomorrow when we wake up, it’s a new day and a new opportunity to learn how to navigate this.
    I want my toddler to learn to prioritise his needs also. What better way to learn, seeing his Mummy do it 🥹
    Thanks Jess!

  • @KP-wr8gd
    @KP-wr8gd Месяц назад

    Oh Jess. I feel you on the sleep deprivation. My son was 4 1/2 before he slept through the night! I have always felt alone in it all. Thank you for sharing!! He is 6 1/2 now and it is such a relief to be sleeping again🥰

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад

      good to know I'm not alone! I logically know that but it can be a nice reminder! She's a party animal ahaha

    • @KP-wr8gd
      @KP-wr8gd Месяц назад

      I tried everything! Cry it out was a disaster. Scream crying for 3 hours until we were both a mess😅 I just gave it over to God and said he will do it on his time. That was the best thing. Not comparing to other moms whose babies slept through the night at 1 month🤪 he’s now a happy almost first grader and is doing so well. I am thinking about you!!

  • @danyelleanderson9106
    @danyelleanderson9106 Месяц назад

    This made me emotional. The way you expressed this is so incredible and powerful! Love your content!!

  • @CozyToni
    @CozyToni 18 дней назад

    This is such a helpful message. 😊 Thank you

  • @ZaraKhan-w1e
    @ZaraKhan-w1e Месяц назад

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful video. I can really related and didn’t know other mums felt like this too. Lots of love from the Uk, recently discovered your channel, it’s a breath of fresh air xx

  • @allig1415
    @allig1415 Месяц назад

    Thanks for this excellent video...I tried leaving a comment 7 times but youtube must have been having problems over it...but finally here now. God bless you & your family 💛✌️you went over alot of important topics 💪🏽

  • @KimStitchable
    @KimStitchable Месяц назад

    Thank you for sharing this Jess! I can definitely relate to what you're speaking about, and for a long time, I would compare myself to the way that other moms presented themselves and feel shame and guilt for the past trauma and baggage that I needed and still am working through. Society paints a very skewed picture of motherhood

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад

      agreed. Comparison never ends well, a hard lesson I've had to learn as well

  • @Tawanderz
    @Tawanderz Месяц назад

    Wow. This is so helpful. Thank you so much for this insight. This popped up on my timeline at the perfect time

  • @NinaBosaoficial
    @NinaBosaoficial Месяц назад

    Jessica, I am a singer songwriter mom and I really feel deeply what you are saying here. I got sick because I wanted to have it all and trying to get there bouncing back when my baby was 1 year and a half I thought was enough time but it made me feel depleted. I have insomnia and anxiety since I can remember but now it’s even worst. The best days of sleep were actually those days were the only thing I was taking care of was my baby but part of me was feeling forgotten (my art ) so I got back to it with my over achiever mindset and now my nervous system is collapsed. I really don’t know how to do both things in a sustainable way yet but I don’t think quitting my art is an option for me. Either way finding you has been a blessing. Thank you ☺️ for your wisdom.

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад +1

      i totally get that, I think for so many of us working at something is so tangled with overachieving and hustling it's hard to piece them a part. I DO believe it is possible though, and there are women who are doing it. Cheering you on mama

    • @NinaBosaoficial
      @NinaBosaoficial Месяц назад

      @@jessicarothley Thank you !! 🥰

  • @kayarose222
    @kayarose222 Месяц назад +1

    You have literallyyyyy put my life/ feelings into words!!!!! Your authenticity is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing!! ❤
    Can you do a video about RUclips as a mother? I want to start a channel but don’t do social media either… how did it feel for you?
    Thank you! GOD BLESS!! 🫧✨🕊️

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад +1

      I think I'm going to make a video on starting a channel but I'm waiting until it doesn't feel so new haha! Maybe end of year! No social media for me and I'm glad i made that decision.

    • @kayarose222
      @kayarose222 Месяц назад

      @@jessicarothley yayyy! Thank you SiStar!!

  • @rachelmunoz
    @rachelmunoz Месяц назад

    Wow, that was exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you, Jess!!

  • @rachelahlbin2066
    @rachelahlbin2066 Месяц назад

    Jess , that was an amazing video and from what I can see from the comments -a much needed one for us all ! It would be absolutely amazing if you could do a video on how to meet your needs realistically as a mom during the day and not just during nap time . I have a husband who travels M-F and not much extra help for additional childcare so that would be tremendous information ! As well as something to meditate on when the going gets tough lol. THANK YOU for the life-giving content as always ❤ God bless

  • @StephAguiar
    @StephAguiar Месяц назад

    Thank you so much for this vídeo.l, I really needed It. Love from Brazil❤

  • @priusa8113
    @priusa8113 Месяц назад +1

    I am not enjoying motherhood as I currently discovered my 4 yr old hyperactive ADHD…. I dread everything and my favorite time is when she is asleep:(

    • @EricaEden-n7e
      @EricaEden-n7e 28 дней назад

      Sending you love and guidance. You are an amazing mother, even if you don't feel like one 💗

  • @katiep.3861
    @katiep.3861 Месяц назад +1

    Love this video!! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @deannebeattie
    @deannebeattie Месяц назад

    Whoa. I really needed to hear this today.

  • @beautyforashes23
    @beautyforashes23 Месяц назад

    Can’t wait to be a mom!❤

  • @LaBambasgirl
    @LaBambasgirl Месяц назад

    Giving up productivity… I’m obsessed with it. Can you make a video working through that?

    • @jessicarothley
      @jessicarothley  Месяц назад +1

      yes! Working on how to release that with our worth. I go over it a lot more in my video on burnout as well!

  • @rageagainstthedyingoftheli3861
    @rageagainstthedyingoftheli3861 Месяц назад

    Man, the irrational rage i would feel when my first missed a nap

  • @jessjessnw
    @jessjessnw Месяц назад

    This is gold 🥹✨️🤍 saved to replay in the future! Thank you!