Onion has some of the best but most underrated actors. Like seriously. The actors they all have are really great. Way better than a lot of the bullshit you see elsewhere
"... be hard to find those, though" most underrated line in this short clip. His concern that it might be hard finding eggs saying WW2 on them seems so genuine. Also the relief in his voice when he learns that you can just write WW2 on the eggs with a regular felt tip pen is just perfect.
I love how they capture the particular kind of absurdity that dreams are. It's not just random wackiness; it's stuff from real life that gets recombined and shuffled in disturbing ways and leads you down distracted rabbit holes until you completely forget what you were doing in the first place.
its the dichotomy of the absurdity and the brain accepting the absurdity as "this is fine". The chef is the dream doing all of this wacky stuff like retrieving the bacon from the bathroom cabinet and the host (being a representation of our rational brain) say.....mmmyeah. okay.
@@Tulip_bipI had the weirdest experience as a kid actually. I *did* question it. And I realized oh no, it is. Because I had this sense of dread and knew it was a nightmare, since I had been having them a lot at the time. So I went to my desk and yelled *COME GET ME* and the computer screen did some creepypasta jumpscare type thing to me and I "died". And then I "woke up". BUT I WAS STILL DREAMING. MY BRAIN TRICKED ME INTO THINKING I WAS AWAKE. And all to put me into another nightmare that took significantly longer to end 😭 Brains are weird.
I love how the chef they brought on for this is actually skilled as a chef, and not just an actor that never cooked a meal in his life, pretending to be a chef. Just look at how silky smooth he does everything! Those little details... The Onion's got some serious layers!
This sounds exactly like watching someone speedrun a game. They say things that are complete gibberish to us, but they say them with such a matter-of-fact tone that they sound like an expert of some foreign martial arts
@@Gumbocinno there are some really cool speedrunners out there. Ive known guys that are super welcoming to newcomers, or gladly give tips on games they are knowledgeable about. Of course, there are some real douches out there, but I feel like speedrunners in general get a bad rep just bc of the vocal minority
I appreciate how the chef's able to come to terms with the fact that lemon tomatoes don't exist in the real world but seems to have a genuine concern that Robin Williams will barge in if he uses a fork.
This reminds me of a dream I had where I was eating a burrito that was so good, it moved me to tears. It felt so real, so beautiful, and I was convinced that I was having a life-changing experience. I literally felt like a new person as I bit into it. Then I woke up. Now whenever I have a burrito, they never live up to my expectations, because it turns out real-life burritos don’t taste as mind-blowing as dream burritos. Anyways, just wanted to share my truth.
Every time I eat food in a dream these days, it just turns into chopped cabbage in my mouth. It's so nasty and I'm concerned for what the latent meaning of this occurrence is.
@@colejackz At the time, antidepressants. They’re known for giving you crazy vivid dreams. This was just after the dream where I was executed on sight by Iranian military police for being caught with an illegal tortilla, and in the burrito dream I was in some magical land above the clouds, so my theory is that I went to burrito heaven
When I was 15 years old I dreamed of a cookie that was so great and perfect. This year being 31 I found that cookie at a wedding. It tasted just how I dreamed it would
I tried this, before I discovered I didn't have a wisk, and found myself in an attic with Robin Williams and a hall of doors and it took me 3 months to get out. That omelet cost me my job, and most of my life's savings. Make sure you have all of the supplies before attempting this.
@@MalcolmCooks I've seen a lot of comments like this. Somebody notices something special. The amount of thumbs up/down have hit a magical number. Someone like you graciously takes their time to mention it in hope that others will respect the numbers importance... They never do. Never! By the time I read your comment, it was over 700 likes. I missed out, as will all to come. At least you can hold on to that memory. Never forget!
I love when things just seem so normal in dreams but then you wake up and wonder about your mental health. I once dreamt about getting on a dog train, which was not a train with dogs inside or even a train fit for dogs, but instead a train _made_ of dogs. I got on it and went down a hill with the polar express theme blaring. It was beautiful.
+A Bird Lover Yeah XD And sometimes they seem normal in the first 1-2 minutes after you wake up too... Sometimes I have long dreams, that seem like movies, with a good story, I wake up and say to myself: ''I think I just dream a fucking novel. I could make a great book out of it. It was amazing.'' Then in the first few minutes, I try to review what seem at first as a very logical and well build dream, then details start to emerge and I am like: ''What the fuck did I just dream? Why did my bear wife, gave birth to a banana?! And why was the president I was supposed to assassinate, a Polish dolphin living in my parents living room?!'' Our brains are amazing ... XD
@@davidgreen5994 Totally this. I always think some dream was so epic it would make an incredible book or movie, but as soon as I start going through the details, I realize none of it makes sense and nobody could follow it.
David Green Oh my god that has happened to me before but lately I have a dream where I come up with the most beautiful song in the whole world and I want to record it on my phones app. so I do it in the dream and I’m so excited thinking yay later I can turn this into a famous song, and then I wake up thinking that I had already recorded it. Then I realize I recorded it in my dream and I can’t remember the song anymore LOL
What amazes me about this sketch is that the chef has all the right movements. Like cracking the eggs with one hand, using the whisk to stop the dripping and crumbling the bacon while sprinkling it are all motions that a trained chef would do. Such good attention to detail by the onion
“Get me three pieces of bacon out of the bathroom cabinet” “Three pieces of bacon out of the bathroom cabinet! Do you need the toothpaste?” “No, the toothpaste is for later when your landlord comes he’s gonna need some help starting his car with that” The writing and acting is next level
I once had a dream. That I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. And, lemme tell you something it was delicious. So the next day, I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting. It is a disgusting sandwich.
I remember I came up with a sandwich idea during a fever dream, it was a pb&j but the bread was replaced with waffles. I tried it the next day and it was fucking delicious
The putting the keys on the plate thing was the biggest thing I was doing wrong. My god that's genius, able to use it as a fork and they're readily available for when you have to leave for work immediately after breakfast.
Are those keys organic? I'm trying to eat healthy and I don't want to piss off Weight Watchers or else they'll throw me out of an airplane with my socks being the only thing I can eat.
The sandwich of my dreams involves me slicing up some rotten vegetables and trying in vain to find the mayonnaise while my mother tells me about the homeless men she dated while in college.
It’s such a shame that the Onion stopped producing these amazing videos. I would gladly have paid subscription money for these videos. On the other side, it’s becoming rather difficult to make good satire of what’s currently going on in the U.S.
Just wanted to share my favorite dream with yall. In that dream I stepped into my workplace and overheard one secretary saying "we are gonna start to source out the sleep of our employees". I truly felt horror in that dream because I love sleeping and didn't want to work 16 hours a day. After I woke up I had a real good chuckle about the ideas my brain comes up with while sleeping.
Dude one time I dreamt that I was at a wacky funhouse with slushy machines and gaming consoles where my guns fell out and I had to get them stapled back on at the funhouse dentist, she told me to not brush my teeth for 24 hours and I woke up repeating that in real life
Yeah, their new videos suck. These ones had much better sets, acting and production values. Most of the new ones are just powerpoint slides with pictures.
this genuinely feels so much like some shit i would dream… i’m actually a little shocked. everything from noticing minute details like writing on eggs, celebrities helping out like they know you, and stuff being misplaced like keys on the plate is SPOT ON, at least for my own dreams.
hi morgboat have you become a flat earther yet? If not I suggest watch a 13 part series called _What on earth happened_ by Ewaranon to learn that the earth is not a globe. I got it in my about tab.
I can relate to this. I still remember this dream I made a "honey baked potato", what I called it in the dream. Basically I cooked a potato inside a pineapple in the oven, wasn't this crazy but still. I wanted to try it because I love pineapple and if it infused the potato I'd want to try it but I really doubt it would cook while inside the pineapple and I'd end up with an uncooked potato inside a potato flavored pineapple.
I like how this dream is like a choose your own adventure. "If you use a folk, Robin Williams will come and offer his wick, but then the two of you will have to go up to his grandparents attic and there's a lot of doors up there" 🤣
I love how after he says “If you still have your teeth by the end of the dreams it’s gonna taste fantastic” and immediately after, “Turning your autistic child into a tax write-off” lmfao
0:45 The "Don't mess with success" is so great because that is just the exact response that you expect from these morning news hosts if a chef says something ridiculous like that.
I successfully recreated this dish, but right before I took the first bite, I was suddenly transported to my bedroom, lying on my bed underneath the covers. I then spent the next two minutes trying to recall the recipe as it slowly faded from my memory. I’ll let you all know how it tasted when I randomly remember it a few months from now!
Every time I have a teeth-falling-out dream it has some weird twist. My latest one I was just like 'Oh! I can fix them by travelling through time!' super nonchalant. I love that sort of craziness from dreams.
All of the "for best results" are absolutely fantastic. "Keep burner heat high to cook omelet quickly before your legs stop working." "For lower calories, use egg whites by separating out yolks into an army helmet." "Talk to your mailman while omelet is cooking." "Cook omelet while hanging from harness to simulate flying." "Have your goatee grow crab claws while plating omelet." "Cook omelet while speaking to a dolphin with the voice of your mother." "Omelet goes great with a glass of tide, which reminds you to do your laundry." And of course "Turning your autistic child into a tax write-off."
'You need to go up to his grandmother's attic.. and there's just millions of doors up there.. and it just takes up a lot of time' 😂😂 we've all had those sorts of weird dreams
I love when he says about the WWII eggs it’ll be “hard to find those though.” Not like they don’t exist, just rather that it might be pretty tough to buy them in the store.
this kind of reminds me of when i had a very vivid dream where beautiful music was playing while i kept seeing flashing visions of spaghetti in the trees
"By the end of the dream, if you still have all your teeth" Is this a reference to the dreams people have about their teeth falling out? If so, that joke is genius
@@Konpekikaminari Yup! I've had the teeth falling out dream for decades. I looked into at one point, and it's relatively common to have when you're stressed or have anxiety. I don't know how or why they're linked together other than just that they are.
Had a shitty day and this made the world a good place. I thank you. Now I must ride a Yeti to my breakfast table and hope we still have lemon tomatoes from my mother.
This Christmas, try my dream roast turkey. Preheat the Oven to 200C. While this is warming up, stuff the turkey. Now roast the turkey in the oven until the baby inside starts screaming; take it quickly out of the oven and hack it open with a cleaver. Now is the tricky part; you need to glue the baby back together with custard while making sure your boss who has come out of the dining room doesn't realise what you're doing. Once the baby is put back together, realise you are naked. Serve.
The craziest dream I've ever had was about an alternate universe called "better world". Everything feels great there. Long story short, one of the characters in the dream gouged his own eyes out with scorpions. And then there was the rabies cult... I actually woke up thinking I had watched the most amazing horror movie. I was so disappointed when I googled it and found I had dreamed it all. Best nightmare I've ever had.
The Onion's ability to consistently find the best actors for these is amazing. They manage to convey the absurdity of the unconscious world (the dream) and the absurdity of the conscious world (cooking segments) with shocking believability... :)
I follow the recipe to the T except for the wisk. I always make sure to thank robin williams before continuing my omelet. Its worth the journey through the door pit.
I love boneless hashbrowns with my dream omelet to start a busy day of caulking my landlords car door with crest while my buddy Robin Williams knits me an Afghan out of Nicks scarf. :)
"If you still have all your teeth, it's going to taste fantastic." Holy Christ on a pony, I have a reoccurring nightmare of me pulling out all my teeth with little effort. These guys are good.
Tip for any rookies: when I first followed this recipe, I accidentally placed WWI on the eggs and not WWII, if this happens to you, just remember to find the plastic spork under the table to fend off Vampire-Chris Prat from attacking you. If you wake up before he can consume your bone marrow, then you can try the recipe again 👍 Practice makes perfect
the church bell has to ring for you to know it’s done and he had one already prepared so did a bell conveniently ring in real life or did he bring the omelette from his dream back to real world?
This is so good and I feel at home. Like someone understands a part of me that I don't know how to explain well at all to people 😭😭😭😭... Thank you so much for these videos.
I'm actually really impressed how they managed to capture the surreal absurdity of dreams and articulate it effectively in a skit.
They told it through the pastiche of a cooking section on a daytime television show
Mentlegen i am pleased to announce i made this comment a funi nummer.
effectively in a skillet
and how it has some sort of connection to things that just make sense in the dream
"Does it have to be a metal shoehorn?" "Well, I was using a metal shoehorn in the dream, so I like to keep it authentic"
lmao.
The acting is so on point in this. If I wasn't paying attention I would think its a clip from a normal news show.
Onion has some of the best but most underrated actors. Like seriously. The actors they all have are really great. Way better than a lot of the bullshit you see elsewhere
I think it mostly comes from the great direction. But yeah, I can't help but praise the actors
I can't tell if this is an inside joke or sumn but these aren't actors this an actual news show
@@jaredrodney3420 I don't want to be wooooshed either way but I've seen other channels think the Onion was a real news source? And now I'm confused
@@-wingsofwasp-
It definitely isn't
"... be hard to find those, though" most underrated line in this short clip. His concern that it might be hard finding eggs saying WW2 on them seems so genuine. Also the relief in his voice when he learns that you can just write WW2 on the eggs with a regular felt tip pen is just perfect.
Stellar acting in the Onion videos shame they don’t have more subscribers
It felt... real
Thanks for explaining the entire thing
Thats not how the word underrated is used
This comment is art
I love how they capture the particular kind of absurdity that dreams are. It's not just random wackiness; it's stuff from real life that gets recombined and shuffled in disturbing ways and leads you down distracted rabbit holes until you completely forget what you were doing in the first place.
its the dichotomy of the absurdity and the brain accepting the absurdity as "this is fine". The chef is the dream doing all of this wacky stuff like retrieving the bacon from the bathroom cabinet and the host (being a representation of our rational brain) say.....mmmyeah. okay.
And then at the end you lose your teeth. Realism.
@@boondogglet132
that's the thing i love about dreams, you never question anything lmao
And I can never make that important phone call because I keep forgetting the number over and over it’s a relief to wake up sometimes lol
@@Tulip_bipI had the weirdest experience as a kid actually. I *did* question it. And I realized oh no, it is. Because I had this sense of dread and knew it was a nightmare, since I had been having them a lot at the time. So I went to my desk and yelled *COME GET ME* and the computer screen did some creepypasta jumpscare type thing to me and I "died". And then I "woke up". BUT I WAS STILL DREAMING. MY BRAIN TRICKED ME INTO THINKING I WAS AWAKE. And all to put me into another nightmare that took significantly longer to end 😭 Brains are weird.
I love how the chef they brought on for this is actually skilled as a chef, and not just an actor that never cooked a meal in his life, pretending to be a chef. Just look at how silky smooth he does everything! Those little details... The Onion's got some serious layers!
Onions are like ogres, they have layers.
I’m liking for that layers pun
Haha I could tell by the way he was cracking those eggs that he was an actual chef. Did it so quick
Even "Jim Haggerty" isn't an actor, he's actually a retired news reporter.
It's the one-handed egg crack - I've only ever seen pro chefs do that
“The toothpaste is for later when your land lord knocks on your door and needs help starting his car” lmao dream logic
That's probably why all his teeth fell out, because he used all the toothpaste starting the car.
I was honestly straight faced until this line, then I lost it.
@@ClassicMagicMan if you could see my face I literally recoiled with a smurk and went "did i really just hear what I think I heard" 😂
wow thanks I'm hearing impaired and needed your subtitles.
A national hero.
@@algumnomeaihehe keep that shit to yourself weirdo
This sounds exactly like watching someone speedrun a game. They say things that are complete gibberish to us, but they say them with such a matter-of-fact tone that they sound like an expert of some foreign martial arts
Haha yeah it kind of does
Speedrunners are some of the most pretentious people. I can't stand them.
@@Gumbocinno there are some really cool speedrunners out there. Ive known guys that are super welcoming to newcomers, or gladly give tips on games they are knowledgeable about. Of course, there are some real douches out there, but I feel like speedrunners in general get a bad rep just bc of the vocal minority
@@Gumbocinno agreed
How do I save a comment?
I appreciate how the chef's able to come to terms with the fact that lemon tomatoes don't exist in the real world but seems to have a genuine concern that Robin Williams will barge in if he uses a fork.
He might
Lemon tomatoes definitely exist
As a former seed company employee, lemon tomatoes do exist.
at the time (he was alive), it was not impossible for robin williams to offer to lend you a whisk, whereas lemontomatoes don't actually exist.
This reminds me of a dream I had where I was eating a burrito that was so good, it moved me to tears. It felt so real, so beautiful, and I was convinced that I was having a life-changing experience. I literally felt like a new person as I bit into it. Then I woke up. Now whenever I have a burrito, they never live up to my expectations, because it turns out real-life burritos don’t taste as mind-blowing as dream burritos. Anyways, just wanted to share my truth.
It might be that you just have to add some LSD into the burrito...a good tip I learned from Futurama. You're welcome 😊
Burritos are for lazy people that don't know what they want
Bro what are you doing in life to dream that lol this like an episode of masterchef.
Every time I eat food in a dream these days, it just turns into chopped cabbage in my mouth. It's so nasty and I'm concerned for what the latent meaning of this occurrence is.
@@colejackz At the time, antidepressants. They’re known for giving you crazy vivid dreams. This was just after the dream where I was executed on sight by Iranian military police for being caught with an illegal tortilla, and in the burrito dream I was in some magical land above the clouds, so my theory is that I went to burrito heaven
When I was 15 years old I dreamed of a cookie that was so great and perfect. This year being 31 I found that cookie at a wedding. It tasted just how I dreamed it would
I hope you got the recipe!
😂😂😍
What kind of cookie was it?
OH my GOD??!😭
Can I get a description of this cookie?
"When you chop this up you're going to see that it turns into a tomato"
Possibly the most hilarious thing I've heard all month.
Arty damn this comment is REALLY old.
You alive Arty?
Arty im concerned for your elderly well being
Arty i hope your doing well
Hope you're doing well Arty!!
I tried this, before I discovered I didn't have a wisk, and found myself in an attic with Robin Williams and a hall of doors and it took me 3 months to get out. That omelet cost me my job, and most of my life's savings. Make sure you have all of the supplies before attempting this.
Thanks bro ur a lifesaver
The backrooms
I would like this but it has 666 likes and I dont want to spoil the number
@@MalcolmCooks I've seen a lot of comments like this. Somebody notices something special. The amount of thumbs up/down have hit a magical number. Someone like you graciously takes their time to mention it in hope that others will respect the numbers importance... They never do. Never!
By the time I read your comment, it was over 700 likes. I missed out, as will all to come. At least you can hold on to that memory. Never forget!
Are u in there
I love when things just seem so normal in dreams but then you wake up and wonder about your mental health. I once dreamt about getting on a dog train, which was not a train with dogs inside or even a train fit for dogs, but instead a train _made_ of dogs. I got on it and went down a hill with the polar express theme blaring. It was beautiful.
+A Bird Lover Yeah XD And sometimes they seem normal in the first 1-2 minutes after you wake up too... Sometimes I have long dreams, that seem like movies, with a good story, I wake up and say to myself: ''I think I just dream a fucking novel. I could make a great book out of it. It was amazing.'' Then in the first few minutes, I try to review what seem at first as a very logical and well build dream, then details start to emerge and I am like: ''What the fuck did I just dream? Why did my bear wife, gave birth to a banana?! And why was the president I was supposed to assassinate, a Polish dolphin living in my parents living room?!'' Our brains are amazing ... XD
@@davidgreen5994 Totally this. I always think some dream was so epic it would make an incredible book or movie, but as soon as I start going through the details, I realize none of it makes sense and nobody could follow it.
Amazing
David Green Oh my god that has happened to me before but lately I have a dream where I come up with the most beautiful song in the whole world and I want to record it on my phones app. so I do it in the dream and I’m so excited thinking yay later I can turn this into a famous song, and then I wake up thinking that I had already recorded it. Then I realize I recorded it in my dream and I can’t remember the song anymore LOL
@@BreeElisexo Nooo, that totally happens to me too! And it's totally gone within a few minutes of waking up
What amazes me about this sketch is that the chef has all the right movements. Like cracking the eggs with one hand, using the whisk to stop the dripping and crumbling the bacon while sprinkling it are all motions that a trained chef would do. Such good attention to detail by the onion
I mean it feels like they took an actual chef and made him do that shit
@@fairnut6418 makes it sound like he was forced to partake haha. Now that's something that would happen in a dream
@@fairnut6418 plot twist: this is the chef’s dream
Their banter is perfect. The host has the perfect news voice and reactions, done so seriously.
"Omelet goes great with glass of tide"
It's like they predicted the future!
I know.
... The Onion may really be the messiah!
SATIRE IS DEAD
@@rootbeer_666 Only Satire can declare Satire as dead.
Satire is dead because so many of the satiric predictions actually come true
@MAKE EUROPE CLASSY AGAIN same with Veep
The way he ran to get the bacon was hilarious.
He Is Pig
So 🤠💅💯
I’ve been dreaming of lemomatoes for years. It’s nice to see this ingredient being used in a wider variety of REM based recipes.
Wtf is this a common thing people dream of? weird
@@nullbeyondoi think it was a joke, with its irony being that lemomatoes are actually extremely uncommon and people are very unlikely to dream of it
I love the totally casual and nonchalant way the chef describes his process
1:07 They even found an actor that can break eggs like this.
"Omelet Goes Great With Glass of Tide" 2:28
10 years ago, it knew the future
Brandon Abbott lol was gonna say the same thing!
It proves that reality has turned so batshit crazy that Life is now immitating the Onion.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
Brandon Abbott called it out. Thanks for commenting so i didnt have to
How do they do it?? Time and time again the Onion News Network has reliably made accurate prediction of the future...
“Get me three pieces of bacon out of the bathroom cabinet”
“Three pieces of bacon out of the bathroom cabinet! Do you need the toothpaste?”
“No, the toothpaste is for later when your landlord comes he’s gonna need some help starting his car with that”
The writing and acting is next level
I once had a dream. That I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. And, lemme tell you something it was delicious. So the next day, I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting. It is a disgusting sandwich.
Realty is often disappointing.
🤣🤣🤣
I remember I came up with a sandwich idea during a fever dream, it was a pb&j but the bread was replaced with waffles. I tried it the next day and it was fucking delicious
Try a peanut butter and *bacon* sandwich though. Or better yet, a peanut butter bacon and banana sandwich.
I tried the moist maker from Friends and that was dreadful
I like that they got a guy who actually seems like a real chef. Those egg breaks were clean
“Don’t mess with success” gets me every time
Omg I watched this without knowing it was a onion video. I had an experience non of you will ever have.
wat
Tons of people had that experience, you are not special mate, sorry.
@@bubbles7608 He is special. None of us will ever have the experience of watching this while thinking it's real and also being KNO.
@@bubbles7608 A lot of us had it with the first onion video, but not with this video. So, he's not wrong, and he is special, we all are.
😂im glad i got the experience with my first video
The putting the keys on the plate thing was the biggest thing I was doing wrong. My god that's genius, able to use it as a fork and they're readily available for when you have to leave for work immediately after breakfast.
bobwatters I only have breakfast Tuesday mornings, right before bedtime.
Oh, you aren't supposed to eat them? You know that explains so much, I can't believe I've been doing in wrong this whole time.
you are supposed to eat the keys bruh that's why they are on the plate
@@patbak235 What you're not supposed to eat the keys? I have been using the ommelete as a fork to eat my keys all this while
@@Al-fm8kh ???? That's what I just said my man learn how to read.
Are those keys organic? I'm trying to eat healthy and I don't want to piss off Weight Watchers or else they'll throw me out of an airplane with my socks being the only thing I can eat.
Just make sure you don't eat your desk.
No, they aren't. They're inorganic.
An ancient comment
@@owenbraig7001 The legendary underrated comment
@@owenbraig7001 All hail the Old Ones, peace be upon them.
Love how casually he says that he made those tomato-lemon monsters as if that's something that can be done
I like how the different possibilities and suggestions imply that this omelet has been a recurring dream for the chef
I'm surprised the onion is still in business since life basically caught up with craziness.
Now they just do regular journalism
*we have murdered satire and we sit on its corpse like a throne*
Haha yeah that's funny like nothing reaaallyy CRAZY happened in 2008 that sent our economy crashing or anything.
RyanTheReptile so you’re going to put 2008 and 2020 on the same level
@@bradford6333 You weren't old enough to remember 2008 were you...
The sandwich of my dreams involves me slicing up some rotten vegetables and trying in vain to find the mayonnaise while my mother tells me about the homeless men she dated while in college.
damn nigga tha screwed up
Is your profile picture that painting of a cat made by that schizophrenic guy?
Zaxomio No mine is
it is by Louis Wain, that is the artist's name :)
trugangsta4real nice profile picture
I can't believe he remembered all these details. Most of us can't remember anything we dreamed about five minutes after waking up.
It’s such a shame that the Onion stopped producing these amazing videos. I would gladly have paid subscription money for these videos. On the other side, it’s becoming rather difficult to make good satire of what’s currently going on in the U.S.
Truth has always been stranger than fiction
I mean, it'd also be difficult to continue Today Now after the tragic disappearance of Jim Haggerty
Yeah satire is now “misinformation”. The censorship will catch up to all the platforms when people stop using them.
@@justineberlein5916 What are you talking about?
You mean because of the dementia patient in the white house? Agreed.
Just wanted to share my favorite dream with yall.
In that dream I stepped into my workplace and overheard one secretary saying "we are gonna start to source out the sleep of our employees". I truly felt horror in that dream because I love sleeping and didn't want to work 16 hours a day.
After I woke up I had a real good chuckle about the ideas my brain comes up with while sleeping.
My favorite is the time I dreamt I made a Sno-Kone, but when I thought it was ready, I discovered all I'd done was microwave a broken pencil.
Dude one time I dreamt that I was at a wacky funhouse with slushy machines and gaming consoles where my guns fell out and I had to get them stapled back on at the funhouse dentist, she told me to not brush my teeth for 24 hours and I woke up repeating that in real life
these guys are underrated
no they're not ?
i agree. 700,000 views after 10 years is criminal. should be like 20,000,000 at least
hahaha oh man, this was the golden age of the Onion videos. There's no way they'll ever be able to match this quality again.
I liked the potato video ._.
You should watch clickhole
Yeah, their new videos suck. These ones had much better sets, acting and production values. Most of the new ones are just powerpoint slides with pictures.
Yes, the ONN needs to return. Today Now, Newsroom. We need those back again!
they changed the whole team after the sell in 2013.
this genuinely feels so much like some shit i would dream… i’m actually a little shocked. everything from noticing minute details like writing on eggs, celebrities helping out like they know you, and stuff being misplaced like keys on the plate is SPOT ON, at least for my own dreams.
hi morgboat have you become a flat earther yet? If not I suggest watch a 13 part series called _What on earth happened_ by Ewaranon to learn that the earth is not a globe. I got it in my about tab.
@@flat-earther*Stop.*
I can relate to this. I still remember this dream I made a "honey baked potato", what I called it in the dream. Basically I cooked a potato inside a pineapple in the oven, wasn't this crazy but still. I wanted to try it because I love pineapple and if it infused the potato I'd want to try it but I really doubt it would cook while inside the pineapple and I'd end up with an uncooked potato inside a potato flavored pineapple.
Do it.
if you cut both of them in half it might work if you just wrap them up so the potato doesn't slip out
It'd be cool to see a video of you attempting this!
Graham crackers will save it.
I like how this dream is like a choose your own adventure. "If you use a folk, Robin Williams will come and offer his wick, but then the two of you will have to go up to his grandparents attic and there's a lot of doors up there" 🤣
"Don't mess with success, right?" Hahahaha
I love how after he says “If you still have your teeth by the end of the dreams it’s gonna taste fantastic” and immediately after, “Turning your autistic child into a tax write-off” lmfao
Being served an omelette with your keys on the plate is absolutely something you might dream of
0:45 The "Don't mess with success" is so great because that is just the exact response that you expect from these morning news hosts if a chef says something ridiculous like that.
Whoever wrote this episode knows how real dreams go about.
The acting is so good in these skits that it's like being in an alternate universe while watching them.
Silly as it is, the dude perfectly cracked those eggs singlehandedly.
That is a legit Chef right there
Do I still get to meet Robin Williams? :D
:(
Passacaglia582 no he’s dead
Well you will see him after you drink that Tide! You will be transported to him!
Akward
Holden Strickland I was hoping somebody replied with this comment. Thank you
Use a fork
I successfully recreated this dish, but right before I took the first bite, I was suddenly transported to my bedroom, lying on my bed underneath the covers. I then spent the next two minutes trying to recall the recipe as it slowly faded from my memory. I’ll let you all know how it tasted when I randomly remember it a few months from now!
Update?
Give us an update, man.
Love the captions. And I think this is the first time I've ever heard the phrase "dice up a lemon"
This just perfectly captures the absurd reality of dreams... whoever wrote this is a genius
"if you use a fork, Robin Williams will offer you a whisk."
Guess I'll be using a fork then, thanks for the tip. 😢
"Omelletes go great with a glass of tide" ahead of the meme on that one
Nice catch I didn't see that!
I've been coming back to this video everytime I need a good laugh. That's humor perfection at its heights!!!
1:11 the way he says “no prooooblem” as he's smoothly cracking those eggs is pure damn ASMR.
my cheeks hurt so bad from laughing and I almost wet myself. This is one of the best "Today Now" segments ever! So innocent, simple and random
"it seems in the real world lemon tomatoes don't really exist"
LOL I love all of this!!
They do now
Are you kidding me? It's devastating!
You posted this comment before you even started making videos...
Howdy.
God bless RUclips algorithm
r/woooosh
@@Meeminator no actually he made his first video in 2007
RUclips likes putting this one in my feed from my watch later playlist, and boy is it never coming off because it's gold every time
Precious, precious. Comedy gold. The keys are perfect
Once again, The Onion predicts the future of reality.. Btw, I wonder if that actor is an actual chef, he whipped all that up like a pro.
He was cracking eggs one handedly, I wouldn't be surprised if he had at least some solid experience.
@@PaulusCunctator the way he diced up those lemon-tomatoes too
Anon Ymous uhhhhhh, everyone? Good flex tho
All fat men are pro cooks.
'You'll hear the old church bell ring and then you know it's done.'
Resident evil 4 type beat
One of my fav onion videos. my teeth are Always falling out in my dreams too.
madamebutterfly851 that means there is an issue with communication in your life (if we go by typical Western dream analysis)
For me it means I don't brush my teeth enough.
Every time I have a teeth-falling-out dream it has some weird twist.
My latest one I was just like 'Oh! I can fix them by travelling through time!' super nonchalant. I love that sort of craziness from dreams.
That often means you've got bruxism, and are grinding your teeth while sleeping.
@@horseman4now
That explains so much tbh.
I grind my teeth as a habit.
So that explains why my teeth become so loose and delicate in my dreams.
Lmfao. I’m baked and I legit thought there was an actual kitchen tool called a shoehorn because the acting was so fucking good.
I’d like to imagine that the writing staff incorporated what occurs in their dreams into the skit
“The eggs say WW2 on them” “It’d be hard to find those” “you just write it on with a pen” “oh”
Great tip. The only ones I were able to find has “IIMM” on them so I thought I was 7OS. Oops, I meant SOL.
All of the "for best results" are absolutely fantastic.
"Keep burner heat high to cook omelet quickly before your legs stop working."
"For lower calories, use egg whites by separating out yolks into an army helmet."
"Talk to your mailman while omelet is cooking."
"Cook omelet while hanging from harness to simulate flying."
"Have your goatee grow crab claws while plating omelet."
"Cook omelet while speaking to a dolphin with the voice of your mother."
"Omelet goes great with a glass of tide, which reminds you to do your laundry."
And of course "Turning your autistic child into a tax write-off."
I saw the title and legitimately thought this was a Kitchen Nightmares clip at first
I just came to this clip after I saw the dream sauce episode
This is how speedrunners sound when they explain the optimal run
The level of care in the details they put into these skits makes no sense but they are amazing
I had the exact same dream...
okrajoe I thought I was the only one
Only in my dream I kicked a dog with the head of Hillary Clinton and then I ate a pack of sour skittles
Did anyone make it through Robin William’s grandparents attic? There’s just so many doors up there.
Imad Aman r/whooosh
'You need to go up to his grandmother's attic.. and there's just millions of doors up there.. and it just takes up a lot of time' 😂😂 we've all had those sorts of weird dreams
haha that was my favourite part
Proof that this guy is actually a chef or really adept at cooking: He cracks and splits the eggs with one hand without making a mess everywhere.
I love when he says about the WWII eggs it’ll be “hard to find those though.” Not like they don’t exist, just rather that it might be pretty tough to buy them in the store.
this kind of reminds me of when i had a very vivid dream where beautiful music was playing while i kept seeing flashing visions of spaghetti in the trees
It’s crazy that these skits are still hilarious over a decade later
It’s just so pleasing when people share the dreams they have that make great sense filled with utter nonsense.
"By the end of the dream, if you still have all your teeth" Is this a reference to the dreams people have about their teeth falling out? If so, that joke is genius
Wait it's something other people have?!
was looking for this comment I thought I was the only one who thought it was genius
@@Konpekikaminari Yup! I've had the teeth falling out dream for decades. I looked into at one point, and it's relatively common to have when you're stressed or have anxiety. I don't know how or why they're linked together other than just that they are.
@@SlavaPunta that... that makes sense
And here I thought it was my subconscious telling me to step up my dental game
Sorry but what else could it possibly be referring to
Can we acknowledge the fact that the guy actually knew what he was doing while cooking
I love how genuine the host sounds despite the absurdity
The lemon tomato bit was hilarious.
this man's superpower is being able to recall exactly what happened in his dreams...
Had a shitty day and this made the world a good place. I thank you.
Now I must ride a Yeti to my breakfast table and hope we still have lemon tomatoes from my mother.
Tired of people talking about dreams like they make sense. Finally someone whose dreams were just as a garbled managerie of nonsense as mine
0:46 "Don't mess with success." The sincerity kills me
This Christmas, try my dream roast turkey. Preheat the Oven to 200C. While this is warming up, stuff the turkey. Now roast the turkey in the oven until the baby inside starts screaming; take it quickly out of the oven and hack it open with a cleaver.
Now is the tricky part; you need to glue the baby back together with custard while making sure your boss who has come out of the dining room doesn't realise what you're doing. Once the baby is put back together, realise you are naked.
Serve.
Have a lot of stress juggling work and childcare, do ya?
Why is there screaming coming out of your turkey, Seymor?
Stupid comment
@@SheerSniper7 stupid comment
oh okay
The craziest dream I've ever had was about an alternate universe called "better world". Everything feels great there. Long story short, one of the characters in the dream gouged his own eyes out with scorpions. And then there was the rabies cult... I actually woke up thinking I had watched the most amazing horror movie. I was so disappointed when I googled it and found I had dreamed it all. Best nightmare I've ever had.
2:29 Eating Tide Pods 10 years ago
The real tide pod challenge
Where are the fucking tide pods
@@bbs9866 pretty sure they're miss hearing him say "in the interest of time"
edit: never mind it's in the ticker on the bottom of the screen
I love how this actually feels like a tv program from some twisted alternative reality.
The Onion's ability to consistently find the best actors for these is amazing. They manage to convey the absurdity of the unconscious world (the dream) and the absurdity of the conscious world (cooking segments) with shocking believability... :)
0:46 don't mess with success 😂
I follow the recipe to the T except for the wisk. I always make sure to thank robin williams before continuing my omelet. Its worth the journey through the door pit.
I love boneless hashbrowns with my dream omelet to start a busy day of caulking my landlords car door with crest while my buddy Robin Williams knits me an Afghan out of Nicks scarf. :)
this is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while- so relatable!
"If you still have all your teeth, it's going to taste fantastic." Holy Christ on a pony, I have a reoccurring nightmare of me pulling out all my teeth with little effort. These guys are good.
lemon and tomatoes... I want to make this omelet
Tip for any rookies: when I first followed this recipe, I accidentally placed WWI on the eggs and not WWII, if this happens to you, just remember to find the plastic spork under the table to fend off Vampire-Chris Prat from attacking you. If you wake up before he can consume your bone marrow, then you can try the recipe again 👍 Practice makes perfect
the church bell has to ring for you to know it’s done and he had one already prepared so did a bell conveniently ring in real life or did he bring the omelette from his dream back to real world?
You think this was the first time he made it in the real world?
The synchronised scarf flip was _elegant_ !
This is so good and I feel at home. Like someone understands a part of me that I don't know how to explain well at all to people 😭😭😭😭... Thank you so much for these videos.
This was supposed to be on the autistic news reporters video.