The dilemma is what is considered "smart" and what is considered "stupid" is up for interpretation because once upon a time it was smart to sacrifice your first born but now it's considered stupid also it's considered smart to burn fossil fuels now we are becoming to understand that it's stupid because it destroys our environment, as well as it was once considered smart to get married now it's stupid because it leads you to think you have the right to own someone else because you have shared yourself with someone physically and mentally which you don't. What conundrums humans put themselves through but that is the process of evolution essentially.
This was my favourite pod yet. Such lovely sentiments on friendship, falling outs, and not needing to award someone the forgiveness they want to relieve themselves. So so so good
Being gaslit is the worst thing because for the longest time you feel like you are in the wrong and so confused. Yet you still have your truth deep down that exists but nobody seems to even acknowledge it. I had the situation from my closest friend and it was painful.
Seems like your best friend is quick to latch onto someone else without thinking too much about it. Clingy people can go off the rails. I've seen people who go through such lengths to get another person's attention even if clearly it got them to their how breaking points later on.
you’re one of the people who’s the most deserving of having a platform. i found your channel at the time in my life that i needed it most. i so appreciate how spiritual, wise, and articulate you are. with your conscious views, you basically beat the matrix.
"...the more I grow and the more I go to therapy, the more my goal is to become who I was when I was six years old again, because that was the purest, most loving, most kind, most genuine version of myself; her hobbies, her interests, her reactions to things, I'm trying to get back to them..." You sometimes say things that really have an impact on me, but it happens so randomly during your talks, you don't even realize how beautiful are some of the things you say, as if Apollo likes to show up in your speeches, and kiss you, and then go again. I've never thought about it before, I'm so far from the child I was, at least that little dude had some things clear in his mind back then
i feel the exact same way about her too and the way that you describe how you see her was beautiful and also i hope that someday you can be little you again! 💗💗
something about this video completely healed me. i went through something similar about 2-3 years ago and i was devastated. it was one of if not the hardest friendship breakup ive ever experienced. and its interesting because when you talk in this video, you describe every exact thought and feeling i was going through and shifting through my mind after being traumatized by something like that. you just put it all into words and i appreciated it sm.
I’m a 20 going on 21 year old man so I should probably be watching shit like JOE ROGAN or the Awakened Masculinity podcast but here I am watching Madeline Argy’s Pretty Lonesome and it’s genuinely the funniest and most interesting online series i’ve ever listened to. Never change Madeline
my crazy girl trait is if i'm really feeling something and journaling isnt cutting it, i'll go on a walk kind of pretending to be on the phone but actually just recording voice notes about the situation and how it makes me feel like i'm having a conversation with myself. nice and cathartic
stop i do that too I've done that so much I ended up with a phone full of my life narrated in my own voce, literal hours worth. if anyone ever found that there was my life on a literal gold plat. ended up going through everything and deleting it all. now I just talk without recording lol
I've had similar experiences to that and more than once too. I've started therapy this year and it feels like I have finally been able to cut those energy ties from the people who hurt me. In a way I feel reborn again. And I don't know why but I just wanted to share this. Therapy is really just that transformative if you keep up with it. My mind is blown by that hahaha
Im going to diary here because journaling doesn’t feel enough. I was with my girlfriend for almost two years in august. We met when I was 17 and I’m now 19. I literally built this girl up and encouraged her to be herself, get her haircut, love her body. I helped her though university, moving into her accommodation in Bolton and Manchester. I helped her with every little thing money food family problems. I was the one who sat with her when she cried, washed her in the shower when she couldn’t, we spent every waking moment together. She was my first everything. Every new years, every birthday, every day it was us. She made me feel like I was floating. We even went abroad together and she took care of me after a dangerous surgery. I was there every single football game, cold/hot/rainy. 2 precious years of everything. Sleeping next to each other, every part of London we explored together. I’m the only person to ever get close to her and see her Intimately. She cheated on me throughout May to July and lied to me. My soul and heart is shattered. She cheated multiple times with her ex of two months (they met 2 years prior and she said it ended toxicly). She lied to me even in my birthday. I feel used. Dead Inside. She wrote vows and bought an engagement ring for my birthday. She’s now on dating apps and talking to random girls and it’s only been a week. Calling them gorgeous when I’ve never been called that in two years. It’s mad how she was my whole world. Absolutely crazy how she did me so dirty. Even going as far as exposing my family problems to her friends and the girl and calling me ugly and flat. I even met up with her friends at a restaurant with her in June when I didn’t know, they smiled to my face. And knew it all. It’s cathartic. I’ve never felt my literal heart be shattered before.
I'm so sorry love. I promise it will get better obviously this Person Meant so much to you And had such a significant Impact on your life that does not mean in any way That they were good for good for That they were good for good for you and meant for you..... Even if it felt that way Doesn't mean it's true You deserve so much better You deserve so much better. I went through a break-up Last summer My ex had cheated on me with a girl He was Friends friends with And I had 0 work about it because I trust in him End the last time And the last time I expect it Me and captain from me for 2 weeks and his best friend Me and captain from me for 2 weeks and his best friend had told me 2 weeks like the day I had it happen See the way he lied and the way he was manipulating And I would never wish that experience on anyone But I learned so much about How much A person Can manipulate you Change so many things About you For themselves. It is incredibly sad And I wish you well I truly hope Everything Gets better. You seem like a cool kind hearted person Don't let anyone bring you down when they didn't care enough To let you grieve In peace After The relationship ended. (Also mind my capitalization And grammar I typed this with voice chat) Sending love
@@LaylaReab Thankyou so much. Genuinely you don’t know how much this means to me. I’m healing now and I’m in a much better place than I was. I’m so content :)
So babes Every time you go back to a memory you are reliving it your body is reliving it and I think you have a higher chance of re-creating that situation I know in my life when I have really bad situations It’s like my ultimate fear and then they end up manifesting
No idea who you are, but the things you spoke about are far from crazy. You had your own ‘universe’ or reality crushed and left you with desillusions because they wanted their own ego to be preserved. And didn’t mind your heart and feelings. The fact you pulled out with all the fears and unraveling what was true or not must’ve been extremely exhaustion. Pure respect for you and hope you are well. Nicely done woman, that’s some special mental strengths you got. Don’t let anyone take that away. Makes you special and makes you you. 👋🏾
This is a really important topic, i've had close friends wrong me many times. It's a really sad, angry, confusing situation that almost everyone experiences. You talked about it in a mature and relatable way and it really stuck a cord with me. People are strange
People are such losers saying she takes too long to get to the story.. she is not here to give you tea. This is a podcast on feelings, selfworth and identity etc. NOT a gossip podcast. Wake up to yourself. “Taking forever to get to the story” SHES NOT HERE TO TELL YOU THE DETAILS ON WHAT HAPPENED WITH WHO.
i know exactly how you feel, someone you trusted so much betraying you comes as such a shock you really don’t know which way is up, i still think about it like how tf did i go through that
When you were talking about cutting energy ties, esp with naracisstic people, it kinda makes sense bc of the law of detachment. The minute you stop caring is when what you were so deeply yearning for before, actually happens - crazy how it all works
4:53 Talk about people not apologizing. This girl I dated had cheated on me and has never apologized. We spoke recently after years. I asked why she cheated and the closest to an apology in that conversation that I got was “you know we’ve both done things that we regret”. I almost spit my water out. If this was a cartoon milk would have shot out of my nose
sometimes i feel like we are the same person because we have such similar personalities and have gone through such similar things 😭😭😭 i enjoy these podcasts SO MUCH you are the absolute best madeline!!!!! my fav podcaster/ youtuber forever
When you said “you have to feel to heal”… I always think to myself that it’s not worth the thoughts, it’s just silly, I care to much… so it just feels wrong to sit there and think about a situation where the other person probably don’t even care about.
This is so true. I feel like you are describing my experiences like it literally broke my heart when my best friend screamed at me for mistreating someone who I didn’t do anything to. This girl literally bullied and gaslit me all throughout school and I couldn’t believe that my best friend believed her over me.
actually thank you so much for this i've been having similar experiences over the past year and it's comforting to know i'm not alone and that over time it gets better! ❤️
Thank you so much Madeline for sharing this!! I was in a similar situation about a year ago. I’m still struggling to make sense of it and to cope with the unfairness and betrayal of it all. I was also made to feel stupid for not being able to „just get over it“ so this is so validating and gives me hope. I really hope you’re doing well and could find peace in yourself again, loads of love
madeline, your commentary on this and the whole pretty lonesome project has already helped me realize stuff about myself so much since discovering it yesterday. i'm oddly looking forward to next monday!
No cus friends who’ve known you for 10+ years choosing a person they recently met bc of the benefits goes hard. I had friends for 12 ish yrs and a person who I jus became friends with I ended things with after 6 months cus as much as she was the kindest girl she didn’t provide what I needed in a friend who saw the potential I had and pushed me to become the best person as a friend does. So I left and everybody else left with her
I’m going through the same situation. Crazy that youtube suggested this video. I relate so much especially in this stage of my life. Felt like my whole world is crashing
This near exact thing happened to me with this girl at college. Victimizing me in their head and everyon elses head cause they felt bad for what they done. Thank you for sharing. It's always a good time clicking on one of your videos. I was gaslit too.
Mentioning how cheating in this case would be the "less severe" offence and the context should give people enough to realize how bad the situation must have been without knowing the details
I've been going through something similar over the past few months, and I have felt lost within myself and honestly your advice was so helpful, thank you for sharing your life on such a deep level it defo can be daunting.
I'm just still impressed that one is able to talk about these things on such a platform knowing the people you talk about will probably see this.. that can't be easy to do
everything your saying is so spot on for when i was in a similar situation with an ex close friend that i knew since childhood. it's really healing to hear people with similar experiences or have friends that can tell you that you're being treated wrong.
Don’t say you overreacted!!!! Prolonged trauma creates PTSD. This is coming from somebody whose best friend started dating her brother. Went down in flames and they took me with 😑 I experienced PTSD from this. BTW, the anger you feel is the inside of you that loves you and knows you deserved better. Don’t invalidate yourself!!! All this is coming from a psych major pursuing therapy
@Madelinargy - The jokes on your Best friend and Ex... You're First Class Epicness at it's finest! Smart, good Looking, genuine, articulate and able to converse at a high standard. What is not to like!? Madeline you're killing it... Just stay being you! ✨
i've always believed that if there is a rumour going round about you, and the people who you'd least expect to believe it, end up believing it, that is only because they want to believe it. It makes sense if you think about it, because if you picture someone you may not know very well (maybe a mutual on instagram- just as an example) and you always felt iffy about them or there was something about them you never liked, or maybe even someone you absolutely resent, if you woke up to a rumour about them, you'd immediately think to yourself "oh yea that checks out" . Because you never really liked them and you were never really rooting for them, you'd immediately want to believe the rumour is true, whether you admit it or not. So my conclusion is that your ex best mate had some sort of inferiority complex towards you and felt extremely shadowed by you and just overall jealous. I think she was always waiting for something to confirm her despise towards you so that she could justify the negative way she felt about you; in other words she was looking for something to villainize you. Her immediacy in jumping to conclusions only showed her true colours, never yours, and i'm sorry you felt the need to prove your worth to someone like that.
The worst and what still seems like the most confusing lesson ive ever learned is that sometimes people will leave just because. They will do what seems easiest to them and sometimes thats leaving you, even if you were the perfect friend God i hate that one because ive been in both ends. I guess its just life
Just saw you had new videos out. It's so good to have you back! Thank you for sharing and expressing yourself the way you do, it's so refreshing and has inspired me a lot in trusting and owning my own authenticity.
Girl I have the same question. I genuinely put my heart into my friendships and I think that’s where I mess up. I put so much that I get disappointed when I don’t get the same energy back. and it’s hard to find friends that don’t BACK STAB you every time 🙃
i think the important thing is to not put your eggs in one basket. Allow and cultivate multiple friendships. Put effort in, but don’t exert yourself on them, give what’s you’re given and a little more. Never give someone more than they’re giving you to the point where it’s detrimental to you. Let things progress naturally with a little bit of help, because if they will be they’ll be. Trust in the fact that you’ll find people who are worth your while, and who find you worth theirs.
holy mackerel, you are entertaining to listen to, but to be friend with is probably tons of hard work, kudos to the people that manage to be your friends
if a friend quickly believes someone elses word on your character specially something negative they were just waiting for a reason to hate you because they rather be in denial about themselves than to allow any sort of anger/hate be expressed on a healthy level....like they get themselves into friendships/relationships forcing themselves to coexist with people they themselves don't get along with because the thought of ''not everyone will be everyone's cup of tea'' is terrifying to them, they want to believe this delusion that they are so easy going , that they can be everyones friend that when shit hits the fan their bottled up resentment and regret comes out.
It’s always a cozy time with you 🥰 & reassuring cuz you talk about feelings that aren’t discussed enough. I personally don’t forgive unchanged behavior. I don’t carry it with me or keep it in my mind but I will write out everything that happened in an email to myself & leave it. I don’t put pressure on myself to forgive because if a person is capable of doing the same thing again, I don’t want to be an enabler by being fine with it/them.
22:28 i think we all have encountered one of these girls once in our life… “she’s just an off person” perfect description… it’s just something that’s not even human about all that meanness… i even considered if she had sociopathic/narcissistic personality fr…. bc there’s no other way
The key to understanding stupid people is that, in general, they are not stupid - they are evil/selfish. "Stupid" is a way to cover for evil/selfish behaviour. It is, more or less, a tactic that people employ.
imagine doing a whole podcast and going on and on for almost an HOUR about how you feel about a situation and then NOT TELLING US THE SITUATION brb gonna rip my hair out
Girl lol ive been binging your videos like a crazy person, i relate to you so much and your vids feel like we just hanging and i love it! I have FOMO not being your friend 🤣😋
I went through the same thing (except that it was my friend and a guy i talked to at the time) I was so confused and shocked that someone can actually be that stupid I still remember how I went silent sometimes to process that people that dumb existed I had to explain what I thought was common sense it was so traumatizing and omg the amount of times they all tried to gaslight me was also something I’ll never forget its so weird I’m glad its over
Girl this is so relatable to me as someome who has been in therapy for almost a year bc my sister had an affair with my first loves DAD while we were DATING and it absolutely caused so much destruction and broke apart not only my first ever serious relationship but also several of my family relationships and the entire thing 1) caused a months long mental break for me where I nearly lost my job and my LIFE tbh because the panic attacks that ensued were so grueling and 2) has resulted in me feeling waves of rage every day even a year and a half later Anyways I hear u and I believe one day both of us will look back on these events with so much wisdom
My ex throw away nine months for my best friend and he said he miss her more than me and I did everything I could to make the relationship work and I guess he never loved me and it still hurts me till this day and I can't stop crying over him but he told her that he never loved me and he used me to be with her and I can't stop hurting and I can't feel anything inside of me and I thought he loved me but apparently he was in love with her and not me and I hope karma gets them one day and I'm never giving up on love and I know someone is out there for me and I'm better off without him and he will miss out on a good woman who deserves better and I hope I heal from this breakup and heartbreak one day and I'm going to try to get over him and this breakup❤❤
just woke up from some mad sleep paralysis, needed some healing, come to your podcast. thank u for bringing me back to reality madz, feel like i'm on facetime to u ahahaha bc why is this so relatable
this kind of thing happened to me, i was sent proof of something and then obvious didn't deny it (bc they were a friend and i dont want to be known as a liar ESPECIALLY bc there was proof) and because of it my best friend and other friend at the time decided to go round telling everyone i was a snitch. I was off school for about a month as i was super ill (couldn't walk, couldn't eat so i lost 10kg in 2 weeks, not just like the flu or smthg) and now know that i have ME, a severe chronic illness. At the time they were blaming me for a bunch of stuff they did getting back to teachers, when i literally was terrified out of mind that i was dying. In that month off not a single person messaged me to ask how i was, or even ask what was wrong with me. My first day back at school was one of the worst of my life, everyone in the year apart from my friend group now ignored me, even though i was so weak i needed support. I still didnt know what was wrong with me till months later. They turned my entire year against me bc of something that i couldn't control. A few months after they kept trying to to talk to me again, but obviously i wanted nothing to do with them, so they resorted to making backhanded comments about me having to go to therapy, and one even had the nerve to ask 'wait r u ill or smthg?'. Now im living with a chronic illness, and one of them is still in my life due to us being at the same sports club (although i dont play), and is the type of person that everyone loves. I struggle to fully trust anyone, like madeline was saying, and can never tell anyones intentions anymore. Even my friends now i don't trust, as i was so close to this girl before all of this. I guess moral of the story is watch who you trust, but idek anymore
There is actually a saying: Arguing with smart people is hard. Arguing with stupid people is impossible.
they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience
and then people side with them when they're clearly braindead
That is the truest thing I’ve ever heard. They always come with a excuse or they somehow turn it on you.
The dilemma is what is considered "smart" and what is considered "stupid" is up for interpretation because once upon a time it was smart to sacrifice your first born but now it's considered stupid also it's considered smart to burn fossil fuels now we are becoming to understand that it's stupid because it destroys our environment, as well as it was once considered smart to get married now it's stupid because it leads you to think you have the right to own someone else because you have shared yourself with someone physically and mentally which you don't. What conundrums humans put themselves through but that is the process of evolution essentially.
Well said.
This was my favourite pod yet. Such lovely sentiments on friendship, falling outs, and not needing to award someone the forgiveness they want to relieve themselves. So so so good
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” - Mark Twain
forgive those people from a distance, they dont change and you dont need it in your life
this podcast is so good i could listen madeline talking for hours
SAMEEE
Being gaslit is the worst thing because for the longest time you feel like you are in the wrong and so confused. Yet you still have your truth deep down that exists but nobody seems to even acknowledge it. I had the situation from my closest friend and it was painful.
You let yourself get gaslit. You have to realize when they do it. If it happens once you should be able to catch it in the future.
Yessss like it’s insane
wait till you date someone that works for the cia
Hearing you vent literally makes me feel better abt my situation. Pls don’t ever stop.
You like women
Seems like your best friend is quick to latch onto someone else without thinking too much about it. Clingy people can go off the rails. I've seen people who go through such lengths to get another person's attention even if clearly it got them to their how breaking points later on.
Love how you speak on gaslighting trauma. Touched my soul truly. Thank you for posting this
If people cross your boundaries and they don’t apologize. Forgive and move on. No need for unnecessary drama, just quietly move on.
you’re one of the people who’s the most deserving of having a platform. i found your channel at the time in my life that i needed it most. i so appreciate how spiritual, wise, and articulate you are. with your conscious views, you basically beat the matrix.
"...the more I grow and the more I go to therapy, the more my goal is to become who I was when I was six years old again, because that was the purest, most loving, most kind, most genuine version of myself; her hobbies, her interests, her reactions to things, I'm trying to get back to them..." You sometimes say things that really have an impact on me, but it happens so randomly during your talks, you don't even realize how beautiful are some of the things you say, as if Apollo likes to show up in your speeches, and kiss you, and then go again. I've never thought about it before, I'm so far from the child I was, at least that little dude had some things clear in his mind back then
i feel the exact same way about her too and the way that you describe how you see her was beautiful and also i hope that someday you can be little you again! 💗💗
This is my therapy, I’m so grateful for your videos.
something about this video completely healed me. i went through something similar about 2-3 years ago and i was devastated. it was one of if not the hardest friendship breakup ive ever experienced. and its interesting because when you talk in this video, you describe every exact thought and feeling i was going through and shifting through my mind after being traumatized by something like that. you just put it all into words and i appreciated it sm.
Came to the comments bc that’s exactly how I feel it healed me just 11 min in rn, her voice really soothes me as well for some odd reason
I’m a 20 going on 21 year old man so I should probably be watching shit like JOE ROGAN or the Awakened Masculinity podcast but here I am watching Madeline Argy’s Pretty Lonesome and it’s genuinely the funniest and most interesting online series i’ve ever listened to. Never change Madeline
my crazy girl trait is if i'm really feeling something and journaling isnt cutting it, i'll go on a walk kind of pretending to be on the phone but actually just recording voice notes about the situation and how it makes me feel like i'm having a conversation with myself. nice and cathartic
stop i do that too
I've done that so much I ended up with a phone full of my life narrated in my own voce, literal hours worth. if anyone ever found that there was my life on a literal gold plat. ended up going through everything and deleting it all. now I just talk without recording lol
that actually sounds nice! i'll try it out next time lol
I do that tooo i thought i was the only one
arguing with stupid ppl feels like talking to a wall bc no matter how hard you try they just won't get the point
I've had similar experiences to that and more than once too. I've started therapy this year and it feels like I have finally been able to cut those energy ties from the people who hurt me. In a way I feel reborn again. And I don't know why but I just wanted to share this. Therapy is really just that transformative if you keep up with it. My mind is blown by that hahaha
I really respect and thank Madeline for being so open about her life cos it really does help us. This is my favourite podcast 💕💕
Im going to diary here because journaling doesn’t feel enough. I was with my girlfriend for almost two years in august. We met when I was 17 and I’m now 19. I literally built this girl up and encouraged her to be herself, get her haircut, love her body. I helped her though university, moving into her accommodation in Bolton and Manchester. I helped her with every little thing money food family problems. I was the one who sat with her when she cried, washed her in the shower when she couldn’t, we spent every waking moment together. She was my first everything. Every new years, every birthday, every day it was us. She made me feel like I was floating. We even went abroad together and she took care of me after a dangerous surgery. I was there every single football game, cold/hot/rainy. 2 precious years of everything. Sleeping next to each other, every part of London we explored together. I’m the only person to ever get close to her and see her Intimately. She cheated on me throughout May to July and lied to me. My soul and heart is shattered. She cheated multiple times with her ex of two months (they met 2 years prior and she said it ended toxicly). She lied to me even in my birthday. I feel used. Dead Inside. She wrote vows and bought an engagement ring for my birthday. She’s now on dating apps and talking to random girls and it’s only been a week. Calling them gorgeous when I’ve never been called that in two years. It’s mad how she was my whole world. Absolutely crazy how she did me so dirty. Even going as far as exposing my family problems to her friends and the girl and calling me ugly and flat. I even met up with her friends at a restaurant with her in June when I didn’t know, they smiled to my face. And knew it all. It’s cathartic. I’ve never felt my literal heart be shattered before.
I'm so sorry love. I promise it will get better obviously this Person Meant so much to you And had such a significant Impact on your life that does not mean in any way That they were good for good for That they were good for good for you and meant for you..... Even if it felt that way Doesn't mean it's true You deserve so much better You deserve so much better. I went through a break-up Last summer My ex had cheated on me with a girl He was Friends friends with And I had 0 work about it because I trust in him End the last time And the last time I expect it Me and captain from me for 2 weeks and his best friend Me and captain from me for 2 weeks and his best friend had told me 2 weeks like the day I had it happen See the way he lied and the way he was manipulating And I would never wish that experience on anyone But I learned so much about How much A person Can manipulate you Change so many things About you For themselves. It is incredibly sad And I wish you well I truly hope Everything Gets better. You seem like a cool kind hearted person Don't let anyone bring you down when they didn't care enough To let you grieve In peace After The relationship ended. (Also mind my capitalization And grammar I typed this with voice chat) Sending love
@@LaylaReab Thankyou so much. Genuinely you don’t know how much this means to me. I’m healing now and I’m in a much better place than I was. I’m so content :)
So babes Every time you go back to a memory you are reliving it your body is reliving it and I think you have a higher chance of re-creating that situation I know in my life when I have really bad situations It’s like my ultimate fear and then they end up manifesting
No idea who you are, but the things you spoke about are far from crazy. You had your own ‘universe’ or reality crushed and left you with desillusions because they wanted their own ego to be preserved. And didn’t mind your heart and feelings. The fact you pulled out with all the fears and unraveling what was true or not must’ve been extremely exhaustion. Pure respect for you and hope you are well. Nicely done woman, that’s some special mental strengths you got. Don’t let anyone take that away. Makes you special and makes you you. 👋🏾
i love when madeline and nailea post on the same day
Same!!
REAL
said nailea posted !??
This is a really important topic, i've had close friends wrong me many times. It's a really sad, angry, confusing situation that almost everyone experiences. You talked about it in a mature and relatable way and it really stuck a cord with me. People are strange
People are such losers saying she takes too long to get to the story.. she is not here to give you tea. This is a podcast on feelings, selfworth and identity etc. NOT a gossip podcast. Wake up to yourself. “Taking forever to get to the story” SHES NOT HERE TO TELL YOU THE DETAILS ON WHAT HAPPENED WITH WHO.
wait who has said that?
@@user-np8yf8fj2w so many people. Read the damn comments. Saying she beats around the bush and didnt explain the situation.
never stop podcasting. i love these and you so much
i know exactly how you feel, someone you trusted so much betraying you comes as such a shock you really don’t know which way is up, i still think about it like how tf did i go through that
this podcast episode was therapy. thank you.
When you were talking about cutting energy ties, esp with naracisstic people, it kinda makes sense bc of the law of detachment. The minute you stop caring is when what you were so deeply yearning for before, actually happens - crazy how it all works
4:53 Talk about people not apologizing. This girl I dated had cheated on me and has never apologized. We spoke recently after years. I asked why she cheated and the closest to an apology in that conversation that I got was “you know we’ve both done things that we regret”. I almost spit my water out. If this was a cartoon milk would have shot out of my nose
I've had similar traumatic experiences, and I couldn't agree more narcissistic people are completely in-tune to their victims!
sometimes i feel like we are the same person because we have such similar personalities and have gone through such similar things 😭😭😭 i enjoy these podcasts SO MUCH you are the absolute best madeline!!!!! my fav podcaster/ youtuber forever
When you said “you have to feel to heal”… I always think to myself that it’s not worth the thoughts, it’s just silly, I care to much… so it just feels wrong to sit there and think about a situation where the other person probably don’t even care about.
This is so true. I feel like you are describing my experiences like it literally broke my heart when my best friend screamed at me for mistreating someone who I didn’t do anything to. This girl literally bullied and gaslit me all throughout school and I couldn’t believe that my best friend believed her over me.
actually thank you so much for this i've been having similar experiences over the past year and it's comforting to know i'm not alone and that over time it gets better! ❤️
Thank you so much Madeline for sharing this!! I was in a similar situation about a year ago. I’m still struggling to make sense of it and to cope with the unfairness and betrayal of it all. I was also made to feel stupid for not being able to „just get over it“ so this is so validating and gives me hope. I really hope you’re doing well and could find peace in yourself again, loads of love
madeline, your commentary on this and the whole pretty lonesome project has already helped me realize stuff about myself so much since discovering it yesterday. i'm oddly looking forward to next monday!
No cus friends who’ve known you for 10+ years choosing a person they recently met bc of the benefits goes hard. I had friends for 12 ish yrs and a person who I jus became friends with I ended things with after 6 months cus as much as she was the kindest girl she didn’t provide what I needed in a friend who saw the potential I had and pushed me to become the best person as a friend does. So I left and everybody else left with her
You should always forgive, but you don't have to forget.
I’m going through the same situation. Crazy that youtube suggested this video. I relate so much especially in this stage of my life. Felt like my whole world is crashing
Forgiveness for me only is granted with change of behaviour. I don't care about an "I'm sorry" if the same sht is pulled again shortly after.
This near exact thing happened to me with this girl at college. Victimizing me in their head and everyon elses head cause they felt bad for what they done. Thank you for sharing. It's always a good time clicking on one of your videos. I was gaslit too.
I wouldnt want to be the child me. I was naive and blind to the realities of the world. Sure, I was more empathetic, but I also was more vulnerable.
I already know this is going to be good😭
Mentioning how cheating in this case would be the "less severe" offence and the context should give people enough to realize how bad the situation must have been without knowing the details
This is so true
I've been going through something similar over the past few months, and I have felt lost within myself and honestly your advice was so helpful, thank you for sharing your life on such a deep level it defo can be daunting.
"I cant process the emotions of a stupid person" oooooooh I felt you on that one!
I totally understand your emotions and thank you for being vulnerable 😢I went through similar situations and we always will grow from it
I'm just still impressed that one is able to talk about these things on such a platform knowing the people you talk about will probably see this.. that can't be easy to do
the timing of this video is stunning
everything your saying is so spot on for when i was in a similar situation with an ex close friend that i knew since childhood. it's really healing to hear people with similar experiences or have friends that can tell you that you're being treated wrong.
i know i never had an original experience because you exist. thank u 4 posting this!
This is so sad. We need to be careful how we treat each other, I hope your bestfriend can learn from this.
Don’t say you overreacted!!!! Prolonged trauma creates PTSD. This is coming from somebody whose best friend started dating her brother. Went down in flames and they took me with 😑 I experienced PTSD from this. BTW, the anger you feel is the inside of you that loves you and knows you deserved better. Don’t invalidate yourself!!! All this is coming from a psych major pursuing therapy
your content is so comforting.
Wake up everyone, it's Madeline Monday 🦋🦋🦋
At least you still got your car and that's what matters.
@Madelinargy - The jokes on your Best friend and Ex... You're First Class Epicness at it's finest! Smart, good Looking, genuine, articulate and able to converse at a high standard.
What is not to like!? Madeline you're killing it... Just stay being you! ✨
Just reached the end & omg yes yes yes!! About cutting the cords. I cut the cords & narcissists/energy vampires do feel it!!! 😂🔝
i've always believed that if there is a rumour going round about you, and the people who you'd least expect to believe it, end up believing it, that is only because they want to believe it. It makes sense if you think about it, because if you picture someone you may not know very well (maybe a mutual on instagram- just as an example) and you always felt iffy about them or there was something about them you never liked, or maybe even someone you absolutely resent, if you woke up to a rumour about them, you'd immediately think to yourself "oh yea that checks out" . Because you never really liked them and you were never really rooting for them, you'd immediately want to believe the rumour is true, whether you admit it or not. So my conclusion is that your ex best mate had some sort of inferiority complex towards you and felt extremely shadowed by you and just overall jealous. I think she was always waiting for something to confirm her despise towards you so that she could justify the negative way she felt about you; in other words she was looking for something to villainize you. Her immediacy in jumping to conclusions only showed her true colours, never yours, and i'm sorry you felt the need to prove your worth to someone like that.
i love a good rant on the good internet
The worst and what still seems like the most confusing lesson ive ever learned is that sometimes people will leave just because.
They will do what seems easiest to them and sometimes thats leaving you, even if you were the perfect friend
God i hate that one because ive been in both ends. I guess its just life
i saw this notification and immediately clicked the video
Just saw you had new videos out. It's so good to have you back! Thank you for sharing and expressing yourself the way you do, it's so refreshing and has inspired me a lot in trusting and owning my own authenticity.
Driving home from work great this dropped really loved the last one
On the brink of 400K subs..
Well-deserved, fr.
what came to my mind was this, how can they be your best friend if they do something like that to you? it's insane to me
i have NEVER heard someone tell such an insane story just like mine!
i have Never heard someone tell such an insane story just like mine!
Got a question, how do I make genuine friendships with people in this friendless pandemic we're in? Also I love you! You make me feel less lonely
Girl I have the same question. I genuinely put my heart into my friendships and I think that’s where I mess up. I put so much that I get disappointed when I don’t get the same energy back. and it’s hard to find friends that don’t BACK STAB you every time 🙃
i think the important thing is to not put your eggs in one basket. Allow and cultivate multiple friendships. Put effort in, but don’t exert yourself on them, give what’s you’re given and a little more. Never give someone more than they’re giving you to the point where it’s detrimental to you. Let things progress naturally with a little bit of help, because if they will be they’ll be. Trust in the fact that you’ll find people who are worth your while, and who find you worth theirs.
damn girl, why has everything happened to you....
holy mackerel, you are entertaining to listen to, but to be friend with is probably tons of hard work, kudos to the people that manage to be your friends
Madeline: "let me take you on a journey..."
Me yells at my ipad: TAKE ME BABYY AND DONT BRING ME BACKK 💞💞💞💞💞💞
if a friend quickly believes someone elses word on your character specially something negative they were just waiting for a reason to hate you because they rather be in denial about themselves than to allow any sort of anger/hate be expressed on a healthy level....like they get themselves into friendships/relationships forcing themselves to coexist with people they themselves don't get along with because the thought of ''not everyone will be everyone's cup of tea'' is terrifying to them, they want to believe this delusion that they are so easy going , that they can be everyones friend that when shit hits the fan their bottled up resentment and regret comes out.
I'm not a victim unless i choose to be❤
It’s always a cozy time with you 🥰 & reassuring cuz you talk about feelings that aren’t discussed enough. I personally don’t forgive unchanged behavior. I don’t carry it with me or keep it in my mind but I will write out everything that happened in an email to myself & leave it. I don’t put pressure on myself to forgive because if a person is capable of doing the same thing again, I don’t want to be an enabler by being fine with it/them.
22:28 i think we all have encountered one of these girls once in our life… “she’s just an off person” perfect description… it’s just something that’s not even human about all that meanness… i even considered if she had sociopathic/narcissistic personality fr…. bc there’s no other way
you're actually the best person - your videos make me think maybe i should just try out therapy and i mean that in the most complimentary way ever
i am actually genuinely baffled that you’re describing the situation i’m in atm WORD FOR WORD. same scenario, same thoughts
The key to understanding stupid people is that, in general, they are not stupid - they are evil/selfish. "Stupid" is a way to cover for evil/selfish behaviour. It is, more or less, a tactic that people employ.
You really make my Mondays ❤
This is mt comfort vid
imagine doing a whole podcast and going on and on for almost an HOUR about how you feel about a situation and then NOT TELLING US THE SITUATION
brb gonna rip my hair out
well she said from the beginning she wasnt going to give any details on the actual situation
yeah like spill the tea
Wow I guess everyone is falling out with their best friend. The best thing to do is just move on
I've never been so excited for Monday, you are brilliant madz💗🌟🥰
We have lived the exact same life.
Girl lol ive been binging your videos like a crazy person, i relate to you so much and your vids feel like we just hanging and i love it! I have FOMO not being your friend 🤣😋
9:30 yes it’s the feeling of being invalidated … borderline is a goood word for it. makes ya feel on edge
you are literally my safe place , thank you
I went through the same thing (except that it was my friend and a guy i talked to at the time) I was so confused and shocked that someone can actually be that stupid I still remember how I went silent sometimes to process that people that dumb existed I had to explain what I thought was common sense it was so traumatizing and omg the amount of times they all tried to gaslight me was also something I’ll never forget its so weird I’m glad its over
I really feel you, see the blessing you removed snakes and stupid people from your life
Girl this is so relatable to me as someome who has been in therapy for almost a year bc my sister had an affair with my first loves DAD while we were DATING and it absolutely caused so much destruction and broke apart not only my first ever serious relationship but also several of my family relationships and the entire thing 1) caused a months long mental break for me where I nearly lost my job and my LIFE tbh because the panic attacks that ensued were so grueling and 2) has resulted in me feeling waves of rage every day even a year and a half later
Anyways I hear u and I believe one day both of us will look back on these events with so much wisdom
this was so relatable
My ex throw away nine months for my best friend and he said he miss her more than me and I did everything I could to make the relationship work and I guess he never loved me and it still hurts me till this day and I can't stop crying over him but he told her that he never loved me and he used me to be with her and I can't stop hurting and I can't feel anything inside of me and I thought he loved me but apparently he was in love with her and not me and I hope karma gets them one day and I'm never giving up on love and I know someone is out there for me and I'm better off without him and he will miss out on a good woman who deserves better and I hope I heal from this breakup and heartbreak one day and I'm going to try to get over him and this breakup❤❤
those „friends“ were defo jealous I mean look at yourself 😂
this has to be a universal experience
just woke up from some mad sleep paralysis, needed some healing, come to your podcast. thank u for bringing me back to reality madz, feel like i'm on facetime to u ahahaha bc why is this so relatable
I talk to myself too, like i am on a podcast when i am by myself. Free therapy ✨
this kind of thing happened to me, i was sent proof of something and then obvious didn't deny it (bc they were a friend and i dont want to be known as a liar ESPECIALLY bc there was proof) and because of it my best friend and other friend at the time decided to go round telling everyone i was a snitch. I was off school for about a month as i was super ill (couldn't walk, couldn't eat so i lost 10kg in 2 weeks, not just like the flu or smthg) and now know that i have ME, a severe chronic illness. At the time they were blaming me for a bunch of stuff they did getting back to teachers, when i literally was terrified out of mind that i was dying. In that month off not a single person messaged me to ask how i was, or even ask what was wrong with me.
My first day back at school was one of the worst of my life, everyone in the year apart from my friend group now ignored me, even though i was so weak i needed support. I still didnt know what was wrong with me till months later. They turned my entire year against me bc of something that i couldn't control. A few months after they kept trying to to talk to me again, but obviously i wanted nothing to do with them, so they resorted to making backhanded comments about me having to go to therapy, and one even had the nerve to ask 'wait r u ill or smthg?'.
Now im living with a chronic illness, and one of them is still in my life due to us being at the same sports club (although i dont play), and is the type of person that everyone loves. I struggle to fully trust anyone, like madeline was saying, and can never tell anyones intentions anymore. Even my friends now i don't trust, as i was so close to this girl before all of this.
I guess moral of the story is watch who you trust, but idek anymore
Well, best friend + boyfriend betraying you at the same time. For you that’s 2 birds one stone. 2 dogs out of your life.