Disclaimer because I'm already dreading the comments: 1. No, not ALL autistic people, but some (many?) will like these suggestions 2. Hyper-consumerism is bad, but gift giving is part of our cultural tradition and not going anywhere anytime soon. Thoughtful gifts are much better than unwanted gifts. 3. You don't have to spend any money, these are just fun ideas 4. Affiliate links do help support my channel so I can make content, so making videos like these are necessary for me. If you don't like them you don't have to watch them 🙃
@@alaah4183 Don't love it too much; she's self diagnosed and not qualified to talk about this stuff. "I'm autistic because I paid some on-line quack to give me the piece of paper. Yay!"
Yo Samdy Sam these gifts are also perfect for those of us who have ADHD because honestly the whole sensory processing matter can also be very frustrating and difficult for those who have ADHD as well as autism. I think you have done a great job with this video. As someone who has cerebral palsy and ADHD, I actually deal with sensory processing issues involving more auditory or stimulation related to loud noises and groups of people. I actually enjoy both physical and visual stimulation.
"Some people have autism as their special interest!" Me: *watching your whole playlist on autism in 2 days as well as reading info about it for hours* Me: ...it can't possibly be me
@@vivinotfromloona it’s the same for me! Like “oh, I’m Autistic... cool” then “OH I didn’t know that, that’s so interesting!” *researches for however long* “... that’s so cool, but that also makes sense” :p x
Me - Email or PM me instead. Mobiles don't get signal where I am 90% of the time and I can't hear over the phone because of being HoH. Then everybody looks at me like I'm more of an alien because Of COURSE everybody has signal on their phones everywhere 24/7/365.....!!!! Except if you live in the countryside. Ugh.
Agreed. I love my hue bulbs because it’s so easy to change the colours or brightness. I have a google home as well and if I say “I’m stressed” it dims the bulbs to colours I like and then puts on soft music. You can program any phrase you like. And if you’re someone who goes non verbal it does also respond to electronic voice apps as long as you don’t have voice recognition activated.
When I married, I told my husband that I was easy to do gifts for....any occasion....just one rose and I will be happy! He couldn't do it. First, Christmas I got a frying pan.
Hahaha. My husband gave me an iron and mini ironing board for our first Christmas. It wasn’t the only thing but none were great. And that was the worst. It wasn’t for a few years I told him it was a strange gift. In his defense, he said it was practical and we needed it for our apartment. It was actually very thoughtful in that respect. But a freaking iron. But because I didn’t own an iron, he didn’t know how bad I was at ironing. I don’t know why but I just cannot iron at all. I tried so hard to be just right and it’s just wrinkled and creased. So I gave up. And then only he used it. Now I just tell him what I want. It’s easier that way.
I’m an auditory seeker and avoider. It’s really confusing. I love loud music and sound FX and I also love what sound designers call “folly” which is just like background noise caused by things like footsteps and rain and doors opening/closing and cars driving by on a wet street. But if I’m not expecting a noise or if it is too loud especially in a certain frequency range, I get really really angry. Hahaha
I'm similiar. I'm okay with sounds that I can control but sounds out of my control are very disruptive to me. Example- I live going to see movies and they can have explosions and people screaming but if anyone within earshot of me is even whispering it's all I can hear and makes me irate.
Motley Shrew Oh god, I absolutely hate that. My sister talks during movies occasionally, which I mean, I have done that too so I’m not trying to be hypocritical and tell her to stop, but it does still bug me.
i love loud music but i hate this folly you talk about.. i can't stand irregular noises.. rain tapping on my window already messes with me because of the irregularity of the sound.. the only thing i can handle like that are birds chirping because it reminds me of when i was a child...
Litch The Shinigami Just shows how different everyone is. Haha cause irregular sounds are pleasant to me. But as long as they aren’t too loud. Maybe it comes from being a musician where regular sounds are my life. Haha
I'e just figured out I'm probably autistic. And recieving gifts are extremely hard for me. I prefer giving than recieving. Many things goes through my mind when I get something I actually dont want. And all those thoughts comes in a split second. First of all I get annoyed that someone actually wasted money on something I don't want while at the same time feel bad for them. Sometimes I think the thing I get is just stupid and now I'm obligated to use it even though I don't want to. But the worst thing is the feeling of guilt I have for having these feelings. I feel so sorry for the person who got me the gift since they maybe really tried hard. I get sooo bad conscience I almost want to just do a "rage quit" on the whole concept of chrismas. As an adult I've learned to mask this, but I bet it shines through more often than I'd like to admit. Also I always go away "to rest" for a bit since I get exhausted from all those feelings. 3 years ago I was diagnosed with severe burn out syndrom and 6 months ago I wss diagnosed with ME/CFS. Since yesterday I figured it's probably all due to autism and the fact that I lived in denial for all these years. Anyone can relate to these felings of guilt for coming out as ungreatful? And also bad concienseness toward the person getting you the unwanted gift?
@@Raduselderbrother ''just'' respond in the restful, non-overly excited way you would if you'd express yourself genuinely. Keep your calm, you're not obliged to react as anyone wants from you or is expected in general. It's your moment, always.
my step grandmother always got me the most hideous clothes (everyone agreed with me even her children no one understood why she got such bad things) and i faked it for yearrrrsssss until one year she got me this skirt. i hate skirts, i don’t understand them and i have to watch how i move in them because my hips pretty wide. had it had shorts under it i would’ve probably been able to fake it. she saw it immediately and i felt so bad even though i’ve never liked anything she’s gotten me.
i relate to this alot.. though i never know how to react when i get a gift.. usually others hug one another but i'm not a hugger so i would feel even more uncomfortable.. i usually want to just skip it all and get my gift without the whole thank you hubbub
While walking along the beach of a lake I found a piece of pottery that had been washed smooth. I carried it in my pocket for years. Sooooo soothing to just hold it and rub the smoothness with my fingers.
This year my autistic daughter got a nice chair for reading in, a kindle, a switch game, a drawing pad for her computer and a nice set of bedding. She finds it hard to make wishes, so she tells me to figure out what her wishes are. She says I always know the stuff she didn't know she wanted before she got it, so I take that as a compliment. We did have a problem with family members giving her overly girly presents before and I think she took it quite hard because she felt that it meant they didn't know her very well. But it has gotten better with time and maybe because she is older and not expected to be into pink stuff and pop idols anymore.
Oh my I feel her! I always struggle to figure out what I want and feel like I can wish for. I really want to build up a collection of stuffed animals/characters but I’m gonna be 21 so I don’t think I can wish for that:/ Do you know a good place that sells stuffed toys for a reasonable price perhaps?
Really, what's wrong with asking the receiver if they have a wish list? I always ask people what they'd like to get for a gift receiving occasion and people do the same to me. I always either only get stuff that's on my list or money because my friends and family know that I don't like just getting stuff that I don't want and need. Maybe it's my Asperger's, but I'm sure there are plenty of neuro-typical people who also don't like the burden of getting stuff that they don't need and then have to find a use for in their life (no matter if that use is in their house or means that they have to find someone else for it). So please, no matter if the receiver is autistic or not, why is it so common that people don't ask each other what a good gift could be?
I give my Mother or my boyfriend 8if I have one at the moment) a list of things I'd like to get, and when somebody asks me I tell them my mom/Bf has the list if they want suggestions. That way you don't give two people the same options and end up with doubles
My girlfriend's parents (who are generally pretty understanding about this kind of stuff) kind of laughed at me when I told them I still give my parents a Christmas list. Like, my parents don't know me and what I actually like well enough to be able to get me gifts of their own accord and they probably won't ask me, partly because they...ask for the list. It's not like I'm expecting to get everything on the list, it's just always better and more useful to know I'll be getting at least some stuff that I actually really want and enjoy, and not just generic gifts or things I used to like 5 years ago
i dont like wishlists because i feel pressured to know what the givers budget is, some of us do like surprises too. id rather get a gift that shows the person put some thought into it, if i tell them then im basically shopping with extra steps
Years ago my 3 year old daughter received a beatiful handmade Ragetty Anne doll from my neighbor. When she unwrapped it she got overwhelmed and started to cry...."I already have one of these." Yes, she already had a doll but not a handmade doll. As her mom, I wanted to crawl under the sofa. Now that she is 45 and years of watching such reactions..... I realize that she is on the autism spectrum.
As someone who can't control my emotions when I receive gifts, I will tell you that I also want to crawl under the sofa after receiving gifts, too ! I can barely control my demeanor at all when I open gifts. I also feel guilty at birthdays when I receive multiple gifts from different people and I'm visibly more excited about some gifts more than others but still recognize everyone is just showing they love me.
Give my Aspie husband a gift card and he will hoard it for years..."just like money in the bank" he says. Give my Aspie self a gift card..... and I am off to the store within minutes of receiving it !!!!
@DT Undercover that's interesting. Here in US, it is very uncommon for a gift card to expire. I personally have never heard of it until today but that doesnt mean it doesnt exist, you know? I'm from Florida, btw, just for the record since things can vary depending on where in the US someone is located
As a kid/teen I HATED Christmas gift giving. I honestly never understood why until I was diagnosed with ASD. As it turned out, I HATED people watching for my reactions. I was always so worried I would give the wrong reaction and it caused a lot of anxiety.
A recommendation for gifting for loved ones who don't like receiving gifts: if they have pets, give them things their fur children would love! I myself have trouble receiving gifts, but all of that goes right out the window if I can give it directly to my kitties and watch them have fun.
Weighted blankets are wonderful...if you like that sensation. It feels like a hug! That can come in handy, if no one else is around and you need one. It is very calming and helps to bring you out of a meltdown. I highly recommend! I was given one in a shelter at a time of a flood during Hurricane Florence.
I have a weighted blanket and I have to say, I REALLY love it! Best combination for sensory overload is weighted blanket, noise cancelling headphones, and turning off the lights. Closest thing I can get to sensory deprivation and it's extremely nice
I too often wonder why I get really stressed if there is even a peek of light say under the door when I go to bed... It has to be totally dark and my door has to be closed properly... If not I cannot sleep or switch off...
My partner brought me a weighted blanket and it’s the best thing I could have received and I’m so grateful to him for it, it was very expensive and we had to save up for it but it was worth it. I was diagnosed with Aspergers only two months ago at 26 years old and sleep has always been an issue from a young age but this blanket eases my anxiety and helps me maintain a deep sleep most of the time. While it doesn’t remove my anxiety completely it does reduce it making me feel safe underneath it, I reach for it most of the time if I’m at home. I like all the suggestions for gifts especially the headphones. 🙂
ive heard so many good reviews about weighted blankets. Having aspergers I tried one at the Autism show in London and felt it was almost choking me and too heavy. Just shows how broad the Autism spectrum is in likes and dislikes.
I agree, definitely a broad spectrum just shows how different it is for everyone. I went with the advice of the weighted blanket being 10% of your bodyweight which for me is 7kg but I've gotten used to it and now even feels a little light and feel I could easily go to 9kg.
as a child when visiting my grandmother she would put two or three hand made quilts over me , they felt heavy , it made me feel so safe , but I never knew that was a thing .
yes! i just got one for christmas and I'm already so in love with mine! i usually wake up a ton during the night but since i started using it I've actually slept all night. it feels like a hug plus i love figiting with the beads in it!!
Apologies if you already have this video, but the kind of gift guide I really need is a two-parter: 1. What to buy for others; and, 2. A guide or a script for what to say/how to act during a long, long multi-day holiday held at different relatives' houses. My family always takes it personally that I find the holidays stressful and overwhelming.
To all the people who still have the idea to buy a random gift for an autistic person anyway: U probably have the nicest intentions and great ideas, but just trust the video, it's really a thing😄 Last Christmas my mom gave me two random gifts. (She knows by now but you know...she couldn't stop herself😉). The moment I opened the presents I felt so awkward. I was totally not able to fake exitement and the atmosphere felt weird. Then I felt SO bad and guilty for not being happy and for the money she waisted. That moment and feeling haunted me the whole evening😔 Till next days and I couldn't stop thinking about it. After few days of feeling bad, I decided to give her back the presents so she could give them to someone else or return them to she shop and get her money back. I prefere 100% to not get a gift instead of having to deal with that situation and emotions! Hope this example helped someone xxx
This happened to me too at a secret santa with my friends in high school :( I felt so bad. My friend gave me a creepy keychain and she seemed really sad when I couldn't fake that I liked it because obviously she thought it was awesome since it was just her style.
Know these situations. In the beginning of our relationship my husband had a few situations like this with me. He told me that he was really hurt, but I couldn’t help myself. Especially because we lived together an I wanted to get rid of the stuff. Now we have a much better understanding.
This happened to me one year with my mother in law and I was absolutely mortified that I didn't like my gift and I couldn't hide that I didn't like it. I apologized for months. I still feel bad about it. The gift was one of those snuggy blankets with the arms, and it was pink (unfortunately, I hate pink . the texture of the fabric disgusted me). I would love one of those giant hoodies though.
I find that I’m an sensory seeker when it comes to food I love trying new foods and combos it gives me some sort of stimulation. But an avoider with most other senses
We have so many things in common! My special interests: Making cosmetics, autism, psychology, witchcraft I study psychology and i tried to be social in university, too :-o
Mine have been at some point or are now: making cosmetics; calligraphy; all kinds of sewing, crocheting, knitting and so on; reading!; Judaism; medicine (starting to study it 2020) and right now also autism (I'm not yet diagnosed)
According to Tony Attwood, many female aspies are interested in witchcraft because it fits their feeling of being different. Witches are different and they have to keep their powers secret
I find gift vouchers really difficult to receive as I get stuck with needing to find the most perfect thing I can justify using the gift certificate on so most of the time they become out of date before I can use them. I usually direct people to my online wishlists
I discovered your channel recently and i LOVE it! I started seeing a new psychologist and she says that i'm clearly autistic! I'm thinking about pursuing and official diagnosis. I'm 27 years old and i've been previously diagnosed with adhd, dyslexia and giftedness. I never understood that being "so bright" everything seemed to me so difficult and overwhelming all the time, now everything is starting to make sense. Your channel is helping me so much, because i identify a lot with you! :)
I'm a late diagnosis myself at 29, and I'm still learning so much about myself that I just didn't have answers for before. It has been a trial sorting it out and I often find myself wondering if it's all real or if I'm just faking. Autism is nothing like how its displayed though. Your videos help me with that understanding by reminding me it's different for different people but at the same time there are others simular to me who struggle with many of the same things I do. I too am a visual seeker and an auditor avoider. I don't have trouble with seams on my socks (unless they're tight) but I am particular about the material type and also how my shoes fit. I always thought these were just quirky little knit picky preferences that bothered me but no one else. Btw Vibes high fidelity earplugs are amazing. I dislike the stem though as they tangle in your hair and the wind gusting by them will make them hum. Also I did not think you were remiss in the way you told others that some Autistic persons may like something different or even the exact opposite depending on who they are. You did great in my opinion, keep it up.
Hello there! Just found your channel and now I'm binge watching 😅 I'm autistic too. Just got diagnosed two months ago, at the age of 36. As someone who likes to buy presents for myself I really appreciate all of those suggestions. Never thought about buying fidget toys but I think I changed my mind. Usually I knit, crochet, paint or draw, just to do something with my hands. Also dressmaking. Definitely a crafts person here! Wish you a nice Sunday!
I'm a visual and physical stimmer, and I LOVE bright colors and glitter even though I'm 26 LoL 😂 I'm also what you'd call a "childish adult" when it comes to my interests in pretty much everything...
I have a fascination with the squishy shapes in the soft ball play areas I literally want to fill my place with squishy shapes they make me so happy ( I still haven't received one though I am 24 and well I haven't been able to play with a squishy shape since I was about 10 )
Taysia Kaune I like sodas things too. I see the world like a kid. And I like soft things. And I like kids good shows. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this.🇺🇸🤗🤗❤️🤗🤗
Lmao! Literally your opposite. My sister used to call me Scrooge because I loathe super shiny red and green combos, hate glitter with a passion, and dislike Christmas music. I like my Christmas colors in earthy tones (immediately lowers my stress).
OH. MY. GOD. I had no idea that silicone food dividers are a thing! It would have saved my mother from so much dishwashing, as the kid version of me demanded each part of dinner on a different bowl or saucer, so they wouldn't touch! Brilliant!
I don’t have a problem with touching food especially, but my dad (who is undiagnosed but probably Asperger’s) does, and had a divided cafeteria-style tray at home growing up. If you want some divided plates that match your other dishes, Corelle (at least in the US) sells three-sectioned plates in their basic white color that go with everything else they sell. They’re durable, affordable, and microwaveable, and good if you want to avoid plastic as well.
I started using a weighted blanket a little over a year ago to help with anxiety and now I can't sleep without it! I also frequently have restless legs at night and it's helps a lot with that as well!
For several years now I've had an ongoing online wishlist that I give to people. I try to vary the types of wishes between specific items and more generic categories (for example, a link to a specific hobby kit, or something like "chocolates", or "lush bathbombs") and different price ranges, so whoever is giving me a gift can decide how much money and effort they want to put into it. I find people usually appreciate it and it has drastically improved how much I like the gifts I get.
Color Technik make the best glittery gel pens, they write really smoothly, are quick drying and the sparkles are so vibrant, brilliant pens. They might be in the Amazon Black Friday sale
My presents: art supplies, horse related stuff, and books and socks. That’s about it. If shirts it has to be tagless, if it isn’t I end up cutting it out myself.
Stephanie Bethany and Yo Samdy Sam It would be cool to get you 2 together for a Colab video. Of course it would have done though a stream Stephanie in America and Samdy in Netherlands.
I just stumbled on your channel recently and I am so glad I did! I just got diagnosed a few days ago and I’m so glad there are people out there like you representing the ASD community on RUclips. ❤️
Who else smiled just from seeing reversible sequins at the beginning? Not because it was listed as a good gift or anything, just because REVERSIBLE SEQUINS ARE SO DAMN SATISFYING LIKE OMG
Something that I really like is using utensils meant for baby’s or toddlers because I absolutely cannot stand the sound of a metal fork on a plate or bowl, and the baby forks are cheap and made of plastic so they don’t scrape. But i tried some bamboo ones and it still scraped. But regular baby forks work great, and i know there are spoons made like that for big kids/ adults but I don’t know about forks.
Glittery sand art pictures are good ones too, they are very calming like the drip liquid art you showed. Also you can find phone cases that have glitter and confetti in them that moves within a liquid, I love mine as I am a huge fidgeter! If you look around you can often find those lovely weighted blankets on sale now that they aren't as popular among the neurotypical (I wish I had gotten mine sooner because I love it).
Everyone on the spectrum is different. I have aspergers and can't stand fidget spinners or headphones. Mum has given up buying me things and asks me to choose my own gifts and pays me back. I only like cotton things and no tags,
I like your channel, you are really funny! I had a friend buy me a desk reference DSM (I am obsessed with psychology) and let me tell you, I never appreciated a gift so much! My friends hate shopping for me during the holidays cuz I’m so picky. But you are right, every person (autism or not) is different and should be given what works best for them. Great suggestions though!
I have one of these fidget rubix-like cubes. It is one of the best fidget toys i know, because it can make noise, but it can also be silent. I went to a speech last week and this was definitely a lifesaver.
Thanks to your channel I'm going to discuss with my ADHD psych whether I may be Autistic as well, rather than 'just' a highly sensitive extrovert with ADHD. Regardless, if the person you're buying for has ADHD as well, and asks you not to buy socks (because they buy all one type that are comfy and for matching ease) just comply ok? Better still, if the person whether autistic or not, tells you they prefer not to receive gifts, do the kind thing, and just don't buy them. Thanks.
I’m not diagnosed ASD however I have a lot of anxiety and get overwhelmed. I love buying people gifts and wrapping them really prettily. However I get stressed about “surprises” (especially if I need to find a place to keep it!) so I always hope people will get me book tokens….
Holidays baffle me. Annually scheduled doses of extreme discomfort, confusion, and outright panic. Oh, the holiday feasts. Forced to sit in front of people who expect merry eye contact and conversation is practically torture, and I can't hide the discomfort either. I opted out of holidays this year and it was such relief I think I cried!
Lights and sounds is a very particular thing for me. Bright, shrill, and loud is definitely something to avoid though. One of my special interests, when I was young, was dolphins and my friends knew, so I got practical gifts with a dolphin theme (like pencils, erasers, and even a stapler). Don't ask me how ten-year-olds came up with those gifts, but they did. Now it would indeed be closer to autism, but more so the neuroscience component of it. It's fascinating and I totally don't have the time and mental bandwidth to do anything with it because I'm studying something else atm. I had to discover the hard way that something being a special interest doesn't mean you're suited to also work on fundamental research about it.
I made my husband a 10lb mini weighted blanket because he has the restless legs while sleeping. He's not Autistic but he is ADHD and he loves the thing. The rest of us are Autistic. I recently saw at Walmart in the States a filler for a weighted blanket in the craft section. Not the beads I used to make his but a white weighted core you can cover. I'd just use the danged core if you can't sew but the point is that it was a lot cheaper than the usual ones online.
I'm arty farty, I'm making my own weighted blanket, so I've been collecting ASD Insomnia recommended tumble stones, so far I've jars full of Amethyst, blue lace agate, Sodalite, malachite, smoky quartz, charoite and lapis lazuli. I've been testing all the copper coins that have been coming into the house with my Neodymium earth magnet and if they are dated pre 92 in the UK they are copper ( 2p worth 3p now 😂 ) big jar of those all cleaned up, I can add sensory stuff that I've made, and lots of ribbons. I'm excited about my winter project. Love this video, just sharing ideas. 💖
I was really interested in minimalism at one point, and there are a lot of articles about "gift ideas for minimalists" which could be really helpful if you don't want a physical gift. My dad (surprisingly!) has become good at giving me gifts: he finds something practical like a gift card for the grocery store (I think it was like $200), plus something small (he knows which lip balms I like!), and then I can do whatever I want with the money I save from the grocery store card.
Speaking of practical things as gifts, we had a white elephant gift exchange with work friends and I brought the practical gift. Luckily it was much loved by the person that received it, and they actually understood that it was made with love. I knitted a cowl with yarn that is discontinued, and so I consider that a very valuable gift in my eyes.
THOSE BUBBLY THINGS!!!! I had almost forgotten about those!! My grandma's hairdresser had SO MANY of those and waiting for my grandma to get my hair done was like the best part of my week because I got to play with them for a whole hour XD There was a giant cylinder one with pink liquid like molasses that took a REALLY long time to finish and I'd race to see how many times I could flip the other ones back and forth (and let them finish dripping) before it was done. Some of them were spiral shaped, some had little windmills inside, and there was even one with sand where the sand would drip down on one side and float up on the other. Anyway thanks for the nostalgia trip :D
I've recently realised I am autistic. I had a strange reaction watching this... like, I felt really emotional? It's like I've found my people, even if they are strangers on the internet pah.
My husband used to have the hardest time buying me gifts. A few years ago he found my Amazon wishlist that I added items to for when I wanted to treat myself. It has become much less difficult to react enthusiastically about receiving gifts :D
TUTORIAL: HOW TO MAKE A WEIGHTED BLANKET You’ll need: -4 blankets or blanket-sized pieces of fabric- I used two twin size bedsheets, (50 cents each from my local charity shop) and two soft throw blankets -Velcro strips, a zipper, or buttons (whatever is best for you/the least sensory hell) -a big ass bag of rice OK SO 1.Take the least fluffy fabric you’re using, and sew those two pieces together around the perimeter. So like stack them together and sew three of the four edges. 2. Sew lines into this stacked blanket parallel to one another, maybe 10cm apart 3. Pour rice into all the columns you created 4. Doing your best to divide the weight evenly, sew lines that are perpendicular to your original ones. (Like a grid) You should basically have a quilt now but instead of stuffing it’s rice 5. Set that aside and take the two fluffy blankets. Stack them and sew three out of the four sides 6. Attack the Velcro/buttons/zipper on the fourth side, so you’ve basically made a big fluffy sack 7. Put the rice quilt inside the fluffy sack and ascend to ultimate Peace. To wash, take the sack off and just wash the sack. DONT WASH THE RICE QUILT I BEG OF YOU IT WILL JUST COOK THE RICE AND THEN YOU GOTTA START ALL OVER SERIOUSLY But yeah. $20 weighted blanket. You’re welcome
My sister says the best presents are social presents, meaning gifts that are meant to use with another person, that encourage social interaction. She also suggested giving gifts to "the couple" versus the person. I was extremely confused by those suggestions.
I bought myself noise cancelling head phones last month and they are a game changer!! I wish I had some in high school. I love that sparkly pillow! I want one. 99% of the time I don’t like getting so Christmas for me is the biggest giving time of year. :) I love getting the perfect gift for my family members.
I suck at buying gifts for others, and I'm pretty particular about what I like, so holidays with gifts create a lot of stress for me. I don't buy anyone gifts any more, and I only have one friend who still sends me something. Sometimes it's actually something I really like and I feel very touched. If it's not, I've stopped making myself feel guilty about it, and I pass it on to a thrift shop. And you are right, especially in winter when things are tough, gift cards, and especially grocery gift cards, would be most welcome!
Yeah, I do notice myself automatically put on the blank face when opening presents. So that I dont express anything one way or the other until I've figured out what it is and how to feel about it. I also find myself just describing what it is in an as upbeat way possible, if I don't really feel much about it, like: "oh, it's a green ceramic bowl! I didn't have that..." I somehow doubt that I'm fooling everyone, but I assume it's better than excitedly opening the present and disappointedly grimacing when I see it's something boring as I probably did when I was a kid. It's not really that I dislike "boring" gifts, as almost all of it has a useful purpose, or at least I can exchange it for something better if it doesn't fit/I already have one/it's hideous; but I would really prefer to get something I can play with first so I have something to entertain myself with while the presents are being opened. When I was a kid I would always seek out the presents that sounded like Lego to open first. (Then I could also pretend to be too preoccupied with Lego to fully express joy for a later boring present.)
Omg yes I hated being pressured into opening presents in front of everyone. I actually tried planning my last birthday mostly by myself until a couple friends helped last minute and it was a disaster. I spent the whole night stressing out about stuff instead of just enjoying the company.
I got a lavender wheat bag for christmas, I love the smell and the weight and feeling the wheat inside it. It is very conforting and cozy. It also has cats on it and the colours match my bedding
I'm from the south of Mexico, so it's very hot and humid, people slepp in hammocks on a regular basis and when I moved to Mexico City and started to sleep in beds I realized how soothing a hamock is, so if you can get your hands on one, I would TOTALLY recomend getting a hammock
Might be worth adding: Neurotribes is good, but contains lots of descriptions of abuse against autistic people and I found it pretty depressing. You could consider skipping the entire middle section and going straight to Lorna Wing when the Nazis show up (it's more or less chronological).
Me taking notes on the books rec :D. I need noise cancelling headphones, that would be the perfect gift aha. I'm also using the Clever fox planner and enjoy the fact that you add the date yourself & the quality of the paper is good, definitely second that (customer service is also helpful). (although it's been forever since I properly used it, oups) And I have the skillshare subscription, it was definitely worth it! If you're into marketing, they have a lot of resources. (I mean, they have more than that but that's what I'm interested in). Now, about the asking part. YES text or even send pictures of the possible gifts beforehand and be prepared to wait a little for a reply. I've had someone ask me "what do you like?" on the spot and I went into overdrive and anxious at having to answer straight away. (Funnily enough, all I could think of is "nerdy, colourful socks" :'D). I never know how to react when someone gives me a gift, content idea for your channel: Possible scenarios of receiving gifts (from distant family member/from colleague/etc) and tips on what to say/how to react! I don't know how many people would be interested but I'd definitely watch that.
I remember one evening at one of the giant box stores near Christmastime there was a choir singing in the store and all the white fake snow, and the speakers still were playing music also, and there were about 20 cash registers each with a dozen people in line talking and the ringings and the chatter and the bright lights so far up. Christmas is always a tough time for me.
The Calmer-Earplugs from Flare are also a great and affordable present. At the beginning I thought they do nothing, BUT they actually filter a lot of sounds on the high and low ends, so that your brain is not as overwelmed as usually and can cope with sensory input much better. I love them! Plus: You can have normal conversations while wearing them.
Though I found your video way too late for Christmas 😅, I (being an Auti myself) feel everything you stated resonate with me. Thank you, Sam! I appreciate your work very much! Greetings from Germany
When I was younger I was really into Star Trek, and my mom actually shared this interest to an extent and she was able to pick up on how much I was into it. And when I was 12 she got me the collector's set of the movies for Christmas, which at the time was the first five movies. It was one of the best gifts I have ever received. But now I tell people to just give me gift cards or money because I am more OCD and picky about what comes into my space. My mom is actually very good about this too because she sends me a Vanilla gift card for the holidays and money for my birthday which is usually equal to my age.
My husband got me one of those massagers for Christmas last year I use it in several areas; but because of all my Chronic illnesses such as Lupus SLE, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Marfan Syndrome, and Chronic Lyme Disease i have lots of tummy aches and GI issues and this helps my tummy soooooooo much. I think they should advertise it for tummies too. There is a possibility that I am on the spectrum also. With all my other Chronic health issuses I have, I haven't had a chance to actually get a real diagnosis.
oh my gosh! I've never though about using a massager for my stomach! I also have lots of GI issues and chronic illnesses (including lupus) so i definitely want to try that!
My daughter loves oil timers she’s got about 20 😂 she’s got massive fidget boxes and I try to make her a new sensory bag every Christmas but am quickly running out of ideas. She’s obsessed with Windows at the moment so a sequin cushion with the windows logo would be amazing! - love these ideas x
I appreciate you saying that some autistic people don't really like gifts or don't see the point of them and that a gift-giver should trust them on that, because... I explicitly told my family not to give me anything this past Christmas and I got a bunch of gifts. Sent to me in Japan. Shipping costs had been marked on the packages and they were not cheap. I put off opening them until after New Years because I felt so awkward. So thank you so much for that last bit.
Great advice, maybe I will send this to my inlaws that don't understand that I would ratherget nothing than trying to pretend I like something I will never use. Dead right about practical gifts. Taotronics have in ear noise cancelling, they work really well for travel when you don't want bulk. I've had mine for 3 years.
Regarding sound, AirPods Pro are awesome for noise cancellation, 2 are better than 1. It’s great because they look like headphones and people are more likely to leave you alone whereas earplugs are usually designed to be subtle. Also, you can add white noise (and even control the tone), or of course listen to something when appropriate. When I’m doing something incredibly boring, it helps to have something to focus on to avoid my brain jumping to other tasks, ideally something I’m familiar with so it doesn’t consume my entire attention. A TV series that I’ve already watched a few times is perfect for when I’m working on mind-numbingly boring tasks.
My favourite fidgets are the 5mm Neodymium rainbow coloured balls and a small also rainbow coloured stainless steel top that clips to my key chain. The magnet balls are the best though.
Cool gift ideas. Hibernating as much as possible until this season passes. Do like some of the holiday cheerful lights but crowds have come. Pretending this season is not happening to the extent possible, ignoring it.
Also, I've learned from experience that I do really well when I have some sort of jean swatch to tear apart instead of my skin...highly recommend if you're struggling with skin picking or hair pulling. Edit: I have two weighted blankets (one was too warm and I ended up getting a cooler one/bamboo). But, I've found that warmies are actually great for weighted stuffed animals to get to sleep. The lavender is very nice and not too scented. Also, my family just decided that I should send them an email with links to the things I want for Christmas gifts. That's been working I guess and it helped my family be able to get me things they feel like I would like as well as being able to even have an idea of what I would like. Using hyperlinks for gifts can really help, especially when I have something very specific I want and can't really describe it to my family.
I’m a big stuffed animal person and have gotten a few really prized ones. I got something like a squishmallow, but nicer feeling one year. I also got these heavy winter socks as a gift that squeeze my foot in the perfect way. They’re too loose now but I got them 5 years ago.
In the past I would suffer through Christmas and then get on my Harley Sportster and go for a Christmas day ride. It was so nice to get away from everything and there were hardly any cars out, it was my solitude although it was usually quite cold. I usually am down between November and February so less interaction and expectations are welcome at a time when they are expected. Some good gift ideas.
My father is a great present giver, he always knows what I need/like. Like movies that we watched in theater or from books that I read and watch them together. Or giving me musical tickers from musicals that I know from cd etc. And if he doesn't know what to give me he asks. :)
Weighted blanket. Thanks for the idea. I might go buy one of those for myself :) For headphones, I highly recommend paying the extra money for the Bose headphones. Those things are AMAZING! Mine pretty much live on my head. I have three pairs now :D Best investiments ever :D
After writing this comment, I did go and buy a weighted blanket. I rarely use it though. I can see the appeal on some ways, but it's a bit annoying in others, particular if you want to change position at night and need to haul a super heavy blanket around your bed.
These videos you put out are really quite insightful, opens my eyes to Autism/Asperger's, even though I have it, I don't really know a lot about it, probably to my own detriment.
Disclaimer because I'm already dreading the comments:
1. No, not ALL autistic people, but some (many?) will like these suggestions
2. Hyper-consumerism is bad, but gift giving is part of our cultural tradition and not going anywhere anytime soon. Thoughtful gifts are much better than unwanted gifts.
3. You don't have to spend any money, these are just fun ideas
4. Affiliate links do help support my channel so I can make content, so making videos like these are necessary for me. If you don't like them you don't have to watch them 🙃
Yo Samdy Sam i just found your channel and i love it
Please post brand of massager
@@alaah4183 Don't love it too much; she's self diagnosed and not qualified to talk about this stuff. "I'm autistic because I paid some on-line quack to give me the piece of paper. Yay!"
Yo Samdy Sam these gifts are also perfect for those of us who have ADHD because honestly the whole sensory processing matter can also be very frustrating and difficult for those who have ADHD as well as autism. I think you have done a great job with this video. As someone who has cerebral palsy and ADHD, I actually deal with sensory processing issues involving more auditory or stimulation related to loud noises and groups of people. I actually enjoy both physical and visual stimulation.
@@hansiesma16 Proof?
"Some people have autism as their special interest!"
Me: *watching your whole playlist on autism in 2 days as well as reading info about it for hours*
Me: ...it can't possibly be me
Paula Cebrian de la Torre lmfaoooo same
FR like autism is one of my special interests 😭😭
@@vivinotfromloona it’s the same for me! Like “oh, I’m Autistic... cool” then “OH I didn’t know that, that’s so interesting!” *researches for however long* “... that’s so cool, but that also makes sense” :p x
I am currently on Autism since 1 week now...nothing else except Autism(coz I relate too much😐)
Same 😅
14:00 "Text. Don't call"
YES!! I literally laughed out loud at that 🤣👏🏻👏🏻
so much this!!
I tell people to text me because I have an extraordinarily hard time understanding what’s being said over the phone! Please text!!!
Me - Email or PM me instead. Mobiles don't get signal where I am 90% of the time and I can't hear over the phone because of being HoH.
Then everybody looks at me like I'm more of an alien because Of COURSE everybody has signal on their phones everywhere 24/7/365.....!!!!
Except if you live in the countryside. Ugh.
Or at least text to warn me when you are going to call ;)
Do any of you guys dislike texting as well? Someone sending me more than three messages in a short period of time really stresses me out.
Smart lights are a huge quality of life upgrade. The ability to easily turn the lights down and relax is a game changer.
Agreed. I love my hue bulbs because it’s so easy to change the colours or brightness.
I have a google home as well and if I say “I’m stressed” it dims the bulbs to colours I like and then puts on soft music. You can program any phrase you like. And if you’re someone who goes non verbal it does also respond to electronic voice apps as long as you don’t have voice recognition activated.
I've been meaning to do this so I don't have to live in the dark
Yes!!! Absolutely, I'm so glad I have smart bulbs they make me so happy.
Do they make any humming noise? Thank you
@@shineon8205 no
When I married, I told my husband that I was easy to do gifts for....any occasion....just one rose and I will be happy!
He couldn't do it. First, Christmas I got a frying pan.
Ithaca Comments 😂😂
@Ithaca Comments. 😆 Please say you didn’t hit him with it!
Hahaha. My husband gave me an iron and mini ironing board for our first Christmas. It wasn’t the only thing but none were great. And that was the worst. It wasn’t for a few years I told him it was a strange gift. In his defense, he said it was practical and we needed it for our apartment. It was actually very thoughtful in that respect. But a freaking iron. But because I didn’t own an iron, he didn’t know how bad I was at ironing. I don’t know why but I just cannot iron at all. I tried so hard to be just right and it’s just wrinkled and creased. So I gave up. And then only he used it. Now I just tell him what I want. It’s easier that way.
I bought my wife an industrial meat grinder because, 9 months earlier, she had expressed a passing interest in making sausages.
She was surprised.
A rose is a simple gift that says a lot.
I’m an auditory seeker and avoider. It’s really confusing. I love loud music and sound FX and I also love what sound designers call “folly” which is just like background noise caused by things like footsteps and rain and doors opening/closing and cars driving by on a wet street. But if I’m not expecting a noise or if it is too loud especially in a certain frequency range, I get really really angry. Hahaha
I'm similiar. I'm okay with sounds that I can control but sounds out of my control are very disruptive to me. Example- I live going to see movies and they can have explosions and people screaming but if anyone within earshot of me is even whispering it's all I can hear and makes me irate.
Motley Shrew Oh god, I absolutely hate that. My sister talks during movies occasionally, which I mean, I have done that too so I’m not trying to be hypocritical and tell her to stop, but it does still bug me.
The sound of empty containers falling on the floor makes me angry haha
i love loud music but i hate this folly you talk about.. i can't stand irregular noises.. rain tapping on my window already messes with me because of the irregularity of the sound.. the only thing i can handle like that are birds chirping because it reminds me of when i was a child...
Litch The Shinigami Just shows how different everyone is. Haha cause irregular sounds are pleasant to me. But as long as they aren’t too loud. Maybe it comes from being a musician where regular sounds are my life. Haha
I'e just figured out I'm probably autistic. And recieving gifts are extremely hard for me. I prefer giving than recieving. Many things goes through my mind when I get something I actually dont want. And all those thoughts comes in a split second. First of all I get annoyed that someone actually wasted money on something I don't want while at the same time feel bad for them. Sometimes I think the thing I get is just stupid and now I'm obligated to use it even though I don't want to. But the worst thing is the feeling of guilt I have for having these feelings. I feel so sorry for the person who got me the gift since they maybe really tried hard. I get sooo bad conscience I almost want to just do a "rage quit" on the whole concept of chrismas. As an adult I've learned to mask this, but I bet it shines through more often than I'd like to admit. Also I always go away "to rest" for a bit since I get exhausted from all those feelings. 3 years ago I was diagnosed with severe burn out syndrom and 6 months ago I wss diagnosed with ME/CFS. Since yesterday I figured it's probably all due to autism and the fact that I lived in denial for all these years.
Anyone can relate to these felings of guilt for coming out as ungreatful? And also bad concienseness toward the person getting you the unwanted gift?
ChrisKadaver definitely can relate hugely
I also tend to feel super guilty because I don’t react even when I like something. I often have to fake excitement even if I genuinely enjoy them gift
@@Raduselderbrother ''just'' respond in the restful, non-overly excited way you would if you'd express yourself genuinely. Keep your calm, you're not obliged to react as anyone wants from you or is expected in general. It's your moment, always.
my step grandmother always got me the most hideous clothes (everyone agreed with me even her children no one understood why she got such bad things) and i faked it for yearrrrsssss until one year she got me this skirt. i hate skirts, i don’t understand them and i have to watch how i move in them because my hips pretty wide. had it had shorts under it i would’ve probably been able to fake it. she saw it immediately and i felt so bad even though i’ve never liked anything she’s gotten me.
i relate to this alot.. though i never know how to react when i get a gift.. usually others hug one another but i'm not a hugger so i would feel even more uncomfortable.. i usually want to just skip it all and get my gift without the whole thank you hubbub
While walking along the beach of a lake I found a piece of pottery that had been washed smooth. I carried it in my pocket for years. Sooooo soothing to just hold it and rub the smoothness with my fingers.
why do i feel a mild jealousy that i dont also have a smooth piece of pottery to press between my fingers
@@gmowoman I'm with you on this one. Except that I'm definitely extremely jealous
This year my autistic daughter got a nice chair for reading in, a kindle, a switch game, a drawing pad for her computer and a nice set of bedding. She finds it hard to make wishes, so she tells me to figure out what her wishes are. She says I always know the stuff she didn't know she wanted before she got it, so I take that as a compliment. We did have a problem with family members giving her overly girly presents before and I think she took it quite hard because she felt that it meant they didn't know her very well. But it has gotten better with time and maybe because she is older and not expected to be into pink stuff and pop idols anymore.
I'm nearing 40 and my family still give me bath products. I can't help but be offended, but I know the mean well....
Oh my I feel her! I always struggle to figure out what I want and feel like I can wish for. I really want to build up a collection of stuffed animals/characters but I’m gonna be 21 so I don’t think I can wish for that:/
Do you know a good place that sells stuffed toys for a reasonable price perhaps?
Really, what's wrong with asking the receiver if they have a wish list? I always ask people what they'd like to get for a gift receiving occasion and people do the same to me. I always either only get stuff that's on my list or money because my friends and family know that I don't like just getting stuff that I don't want and need. Maybe it's my Asperger's, but I'm sure there are plenty of neuro-typical people who also don't like the burden of getting stuff that they don't need and then have to find a use for in their life (no matter if that use is in their house or means that they have to find someone else for it). So please, no matter if the receiver is autistic or not, why is it so common that people don't ask each other what a good gift could be?
Lilianne Weinhandl Yes! If you want to keep it a secret ask for 3 options so they don’t know what you pick.
I give my Mother or my boyfriend 8if I have one at the moment) a list of things I'd like to get, and when somebody asks me I tell them my mom/Bf has the list if they want suggestions. That way you don't give two people the same options and end up with doubles
My girlfriend's parents (who are generally pretty understanding about this kind of stuff) kind of laughed at me when I told them I still give my parents a Christmas list. Like, my parents don't know me and what I actually like well enough to be able to get me gifts of their own accord and they probably won't ask me, partly because they...ask for the list. It's not like I'm expecting to get everything on the list, it's just always better and more useful to know I'll be getting at least some stuff that I actually really want and enjoy, and not just generic gifts or things I used to like 5 years ago
I wouldn't know what to say if someone asked me for a wish list. I haven't done wish lists since I was 10 years old.
i dont like wishlists because i feel pressured to know what the givers budget is, some of us do like surprises too. id rather get a gift that shows the person put some thought into it, if i tell them then im basically shopping with extra steps
Years ago my 3 year old daughter received a beatiful handmade Ragetty Anne doll from my neighbor. When she unwrapped it she got overwhelmed and started to cry...."I already have one of these." Yes, she already had a doll but not a handmade doll. As her mom, I wanted to crawl under the sofa.
Now that she is 45 and years of watching such reactions..... I realize that she is on the autism spectrum.
As someone who can't control my emotions when I receive gifts, I will tell you that I also want to crawl under the sofa after receiving gifts, too ! I can barely control my demeanor at all when I open gifts. I also feel guilty at birthdays when I receive multiple gifts from different people and I'm visibly more excited about some gifts more than others but still recognize everyone is just showing they love me.
Give my Aspie husband a gift card and he will hoard it for years..."just like money in the bank" he says.
Give my Aspie self a gift card..... and I am off to the store within minutes of receiving it !!!!
That's going to be fun if your husband ever gets a gift card that has a limited amount of time to spend the card.
@@lilianneweinhandl8493 ooh. What kind of stores sell those?
@DT Undercover that's interesting. Here in US, it is very uncommon for a gift card to expire.
I personally have never heard of it until today but that doesnt mean it doesnt exist, you know?
I'm from Florida, btw, just for the record since things can vary depending on where in the US someone is located
@@lilianneweinhandl8493 or when the company goes bankrupt
Roxie Whitmire
Everywhere in Britain
As a kid/teen I HATED Christmas gift giving. I honestly never understood why until I was diagnosed with ASD. As it turned out, I HATED people watching for my reactions. I was always so worried I would give the wrong reaction and it caused a lot of anxiety.
I love sitting in the dark and watching the lights on the tree and focusing and I focusing my eyes so the lights blur and come back in focus
A recommendation for gifting for loved ones who don't like receiving gifts: if they have pets, give them things their fur children would love! I myself have trouble receiving gifts, but all of that goes right out the window if I can give it directly to my kitties and watch them have fun.
Weighted blankets are wonderful...if you like that sensation. It feels like a hug! That can come in handy, if no one else is around and you need one. It is very calming and helps to bring you out of a meltdown. I highly recommend! I was given one in a shelter at a time of a flood during Hurricane Florence.
I have a weighted blanket and I have to say, I REALLY love it! Best combination for sensory overload is weighted blanket, noise cancelling headphones, and turning off the lights. Closest thing I can get to sensory deprivation and it's extremely nice
I too often wonder why I get really stressed if there is even a peek of light say under the door when I go to bed... It has to be totally dark and my door has to be closed properly... If not I cannot sleep or switch off...
My partner brought me a weighted blanket and it’s the best thing I could have received and I’m so grateful to him for it, it was very expensive and we had to save up for it but it was worth it. I was diagnosed with Aspergers only two months ago at 26 years old and sleep has always been an issue from a young age but this blanket eases my anxiety and helps me maintain a deep sleep most of the time. While it doesn’t remove my anxiety completely it does reduce it making me feel safe underneath it, I reach for it most of the time if I’m at home. I like all the suggestions for gifts especially the headphones. 🙂
ive heard so many good reviews about weighted blankets. Having aspergers I tried one at the Autism show in London and felt it was almost choking me and too heavy. Just shows how broad the Autism spectrum is in likes and dislikes.
Sigourney Winterton omg I have a weighted blanket and helps so much with anxiety and sensory overwhelm or fidgeting
I agree, definitely a broad spectrum just shows how different it is for everyone. I went with the advice of the weighted blanket being 10% of your bodyweight which for me is 7kg but I've gotten used to it and now even feels a little light and feel I could easily go to 9kg.
as a child when visiting my grandmother she would put two or three hand made quilts over me , they felt heavy , it made me feel so safe , but I never knew that was a thing .
yes! i just got one for christmas and I'm already so in love with mine! i usually wake up a ton during the night but since i started using it I've actually slept all night. it feels like a hug plus i love figiting with the beads in it!!
Not an aspie but loaded with anxiety, honestly id cry if i received any of these. So nice.
Apologies if you already have this video, but the kind of gift guide I really need is a two-parter: 1. What to buy for others; and, 2. A guide or a script for what to say/how to act during a long, long multi-day holiday held at different relatives' houses. My family always takes it personally that I find the holidays stressful and overwhelming.
To all the people who still have the idea to buy a random gift for an autistic person anyway:
U probably have the nicest intentions and great ideas, but just trust the video, it's really a thing😄 Last Christmas my mom gave me two random gifts. (She knows by now but you know...she couldn't stop herself😉). The moment I opened the presents I felt so awkward. I was totally not able to fake exitement and the atmosphere felt weird. Then I felt SO bad and guilty for not being happy and for the money she waisted. That moment and feeling haunted me the whole evening😔 Till next days and I couldn't stop thinking about it. After few days of feeling bad, I decided to give her back the presents so she could give them to someone else or return them to she shop and get her money back. I prefere 100% to not get a gift instead of having to deal with that situation and emotions! Hope this example helped someone xxx
This happened to me too at a secret santa with my friends in high school :( I felt so bad. My friend gave me a creepy keychain and she seemed really sad when I couldn't fake that I liked it because obviously she thought it was awesome since it was just her style.
Know these situations. In the beginning of our relationship my husband had a few situations like this with me. He told me that he was really hurt, but I couldn’t help myself. Especially because we lived together an I wanted to get rid of the stuff. Now we have a much better understanding.
This happened to me one year with my mother in law and I was absolutely mortified that I didn't like my gift and I couldn't hide that I didn't like it. I apologized for months. I still feel bad about it. The gift was one of those snuggy blankets with the arms, and it was pink (unfortunately, I hate pink . the texture of the fabric disgusted me). I would love one of those giant hoodies though.
I find that I’m an sensory seeker when it comes to food I love trying new foods and combos it gives me some sort of stimulation. But an avoider with most other senses
We have so many things in common! My special interests: Making cosmetics, autism, psychology, witchcraft
I study psychology and i tried to be social in university, too :-o
Feline713 oooh Theology and witchcraft have been my special interests for years!!
Mine have been at some point or are now: making cosmetics; calligraphy; all kinds of sewing, crocheting, knitting and so on; reading!; Judaism; medicine (starting to study it 2020) and right now also autism (I'm not yet diagnosed)
Why, " witchcraft"
According to Tony Attwood, many female aspies are interested in witchcraft because it fits their feeling of being different. Witches are different and they have to keep their powers secret
@@Feline713 : if they was a searched, for God, they would find acceptance not the church, not religion, but God
I find gift vouchers really difficult to receive as I get stuck with needing to find the most perfect thing I can justify using the gift certificate on so most of the time they become out of date before I can use them. I usually direct people to my online wishlists
Omg can relate to that mentality! 😬
I discovered your channel recently and i LOVE it! I started seeing a new psychologist and she says that i'm clearly autistic! I'm thinking about pursuing and official diagnosis. I'm 27 years old and i've been previously diagnosed with adhd, dyslexia and giftedness. I never understood that being "so bright" everything seemed to me so difficult and overwhelming all the time, now everything is starting to make sense. Your channel is helping me so much, because i identify a lot with you! :)
same !
11:05 when i got my weighted blanket i actually told people that it was like my dogs laying on me just the weight being evenly dispersed!
Is this a sneaky way of letting your friends and family know what you want without asking or hinting.
I like it 👌
I'm a late diagnosis myself at 29, and I'm still learning so much about myself that I just didn't have answers for before. It has been a trial sorting it out and I often find myself wondering if it's all real or if I'm just faking. Autism is nothing like how its displayed though. Your videos help me with that understanding by reminding me it's different for different people but at the same time there are others simular to me who struggle with many of the same things I do.
I too am a visual seeker and an auditor avoider. I don't have trouble with seams on my socks (unless they're tight) but I am particular about the material type and also how my shoes fit. I always thought these were just quirky little knit picky preferences that bothered me but no one else.
Btw Vibes high fidelity earplugs are amazing. I dislike the stem though as they tangle in your hair and the wind gusting by them will make them hum. Also I did not think you were remiss in the way you told others that some Autistic persons may like something different or even the exact opposite depending on who they are. You did great in my opinion, keep it up.
Hello there! Just found your channel and now I'm binge watching 😅 I'm autistic too. Just got diagnosed two months ago, at the age of 36. As someone who likes to buy presents for myself I really appreciate all of those suggestions. Never thought about buying fidget toys but I think I changed my mind. Usually I knit, crochet, paint or draw, just to do something with my hands. Also dressmaking. Definitely a crafts person here! Wish you a nice Sunday!
I'm a visual and physical stimmer, and I LOVE bright colors and glitter even though I'm 26 LoL 😂 I'm also what you'd call a "childish adult" when it comes to my interests in pretty much everything...
I collect dragons and unicorns and pretty much only watch kid movies... totally get it 😉 I’m 28
i still love disney so you aren't childish.. i also still buy certain collectible toys like the LOL suprise dolls cuz they are just too cute
I have a fascination with the squishy shapes in the soft ball play areas I literally want to fill my place with squishy shapes they make me so happy ( I still haven't received one though I am 24 and well I haven't been able to play with a squishy shape since I was about 10 )
Taysia Kaune I like sodas things too. I see the world like a kid. And I like soft things. And I like kids good shows. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this.🇺🇸🤗🤗❤️🤗🤗
Lmao! Literally your opposite. My sister used to call me Scrooge because I loathe super shiny red and green combos, hate glitter with a passion, and dislike Christmas music. I like my Christmas colors in earthy tones (immediately lowers my stress).
OH. MY. GOD. I had no idea that silicone food dividers are a thing! It would have saved my mother from so much dishwashing, as the kid version of me demanded each part of dinner on a different bowl or saucer, so they wouldn't touch! Brilliant!
As a child, I thought the divided plates that some cafeterias used were wonderful and wished my family had them at home!
I don’t have a problem with touching food especially, but my dad (who is undiagnosed but probably Asperger’s) does, and had a divided cafeteria-style tray at home growing up. If you want some divided plates that match your other dishes, Corelle (at least in the US) sells three-sectioned plates in their basic white color that go with everything else they sell. They’re durable, affordable, and microwaveable, and good if you want to avoid plastic as well.
I started using a weighted blanket a little over a year ago to help with anxiety and now I can't sleep without it! I also frequently have restless legs at night and it's helps a lot with that as well!
You understand me so much I finally feel like I found a person that understands me. Thank you I honestly can't thank you enough
I freaking love those pillows with the sequins!! I once spent like 20 minutes making a snowman pattern on it because I wanted it to be perfect
For several years now I've had an ongoing online wishlist that I give to people. I try to vary the types of wishes between specific items and more generic categories (for example, a link to a specific hobby kit, or something like "chocolates", or "lush bathbombs") and different price ranges, so whoever is giving me a gift can decide how much money and effort they want to put into it. I find people usually appreciate it and it has drastically improved how much I like the gifts I get.
Color Technik make the best glittery gel pens, they write really smoothly, are quick drying and the sparkles are so vibrant, brilliant pens. They might be in the Amazon Black Friday sale
Thanks for the suggestion!
My presents: art supplies, horse related stuff, and books and socks. That’s about it. If shirts it has to be tagless, if it isn’t I end up cutting it out myself.
Yes tagless shirts with song lyrics and funny puns
LOL I kinda want someone to tell me that they got me a gift cause I'm autistic and some random lady on the internet said I'd like it now 😂
I would love that and be horrified in equal measure
Stephanie Bethany and Yo Samdy Sam It would be cool to get you 2 together for a Colab video.
Of course it would have done though a stream Stephanie in America and Samdy in Netherlands.
@@garyfrancis5015 Watch this space ;)
i'd love that too!! ahhaha
I didn't know I wanted glitter pens until I saw them just now! 😍
Your videos often make me cry, thank your, I feel less alone/broken/crazy.
I just stumbled on your channel recently and I am so glad I did! I just got diagnosed a few days ago and I’m so glad there are people out there like you representing the ASD community on RUclips. ❤️
Who else smiled just from seeing reversible sequins at the beginning? Not because it was listed as a good gift or anything, just because REVERSIBLE SEQUINS ARE SO DAMN SATISFYING LIKE OMG
They stress me out so much. Why not just plane???
Something that I really like is using utensils meant for baby’s or toddlers because I absolutely cannot stand the sound of a metal fork on a plate or bowl, and the baby forks are cheap and made of plastic so they don’t scrape. But i tried some bamboo ones and it still scraped. But regular baby forks work great, and i know there are spoons made like that for big kids/ adults but I don’t know about forks.
Glittery sand art pictures are good ones too, they are very calming like the drip liquid art you showed. Also you can find phone cases that have glitter and confetti in them that moves within a liquid, I love mine as I am a huge fidgeter! If you look around you can often find those lovely weighted blankets on sale now that they aren't as popular among the neurotypical (I wish I had gotten mine sooner because I love it).
Everyone on the spectrum is different. I have aspergers and can't stand fidget spinners or headphones. Mum has given up buying me things and asks me to choose my own gifts and pays me back. I only like cotton things and no tags,
Anna Levermore OMG yesssss things that move too quickly make me nervous and itchy things, don’t get me started lol
My aspie daughter also hates fidget toys or squishy stress balls and people keep giving them to her 😕
I also hate fidget spinners.
I like your channel, you are really funny! I had a friend buy me a desk reference DSM (I am obsessed with psychology) and let me tell you, I never appreciated a gift so much! My friends hate shopping for me during the holidays cuz I’m so picky. But you are right, every person (autism or not) is different and should be given what works best for them. Great suggestions though!
Wow, that desk reference DSM sounds just what I'd love! Where did they get it?!
Yo Samdy Sam I believe Amazon but they also sell it on EBay and Etsy. I’m from the United States so it might be different in the UK
I have one of these fidget rubix-like cubes. It is one of the best fidget toys i know, because it can make noise, but it can also be silent. I went to a speech last week and this was definitely a lifesaver.
Weighted blankets are the best! I just love them.
Thanks to your channel I'm going to discuss with my ADHD psych whether I may be Autistic as well, rather than 'just' a highly sensitive extrovert with ADHD. Regardless, if the person you're buying for has ADHD as well, and asks you not to buy socks (because they buy all one type that are comfy and for matching ease) just comply ok?
Better still, if the person whether autistic or not, tells you they prefer not to receive gifts, do the kind thing, and just don't buy them.
Thanks.
I’m not diagnosed ASD however I have a lot of anxiety and get overwhelmed.
I love buying people gifts and wrapping them really prettily.
However I get stressed about “surprises” (especially if I need to find a place to keep it!) so I always hope people will get me book tokens….
Holidays baffle me. Annually scheduled doses of extreme discomfort, confusion, and outright panic. Oh, the holiday feasts. Forced to sit in front of people who expect merry eye contact and conversation is practically torture, and I can't hide the discomfort either. I opted out of holidays this year and it was such relief I think I cried!
Lights and sounds is a very particular thing for me. Bright, shrill, and loud is definitely something to avoid though.
One of my special interests, when I was young, was dolphins and my friends knew, so I got practical gifts with a dolphin theme (like pencils, erasers, and even a stapler). Don't ask me how ten-year-olds came up with those gifts, but they did.
Now it would indeed be closer to autism, but more so the neuroscience component of it. It's fascinating and I totally don't have the time and mental bandwidth to do anything with it because I'm studying something else atm. I had to discover the hard way that something being a special interest doesn't mean you're suited to also work on fundamental research about it.
I made my husband a 10lb mini weighted blanket because he has the restless legs while sleeping. He's not Autistic but he is ADHD and he loves the thing. The rest of us are Autistic. I recently saw at Walmart in the States a filler for a weighted blanket in the craft section. Not the beads I used to make his but a white weighted core you can cover. I'd just use the danged core if you can't sew but the point is that it was a lot cheaper than the usual ones online.
Dr. Eric Berg has a video about low b1 levels causing restless leg syndrome and ADHD. Have you seen it? It's a really good video. Take care.
I'm arty farty, I'm making my own weighted blanket, so I've been collecting ASD Insomnia recommended tumble stones, so far I've jars full of Amethyst, blue lace agate, Sodalite, malachite, smoky quartz, charoite and lapis lazuli. I've been testing all the copper coins that have been coming into the house with my Neodymium earth magnet and if they are dated pre 92 in the UK they are copper ( 2p worth 3p now 😂 ) big jar of those all cleaned up, I can add sensory stuff that I've made, and lots of ribbons. I'm excited about my winter project. Love this video, just sharing ideas. 💖
You gotta make a video about this!
7:00 my grandpa had a plate thingy with 3 sections in it. I loved those plates.
I want to buy all of those things now. Especially that funky cube thing and the timers
I was really interested in minimalism at one point, and there are a lot of articles about "gift ideas for minimalists" which could be really helpful if you don't want a physical gift. My dad (surprisingly!) has become good at giving me gifts: he finds something practical like a gift card for the grocery store (I think it was like $200), plus something small (he knows which lip balms I like!), and then I can do whatever I want with the money I save from the grocery store card.
Minimalism was one of my special interests. Money and gift cards are the best gifts.
I love Christmas and so does my friend but we usually wait until everyone is distracted to open our presents
Speaking of practical things as gifts, we had a white elephant gift exchange with work friends and I brought the practical gift. Luckily it was much loved by the person that received it, and they actually understood that it was made with love. I knitted a cowl with yarn that is discontinued, and so I consider that a very valuable gift in my eyes.
THOSE BUBBLY THINGS!!!! I had almost forgotten about those!! My grandma's hairdresser had SO MANY of those and waiting for my grandma to get my hair done was like the best part of my week because I got to play with them for a whole hour XD
There was a giant cylinder one with pink liquid like molasses that took a REALLY long time to finish and I'd race to see how many times I could flip the other ones back and forth (and let them finish dripping) before it was done. Some of them were spiral shaped, some had little windmills inside, and there was even one with sand where the sand would drip down on one side and float up on the other. Anyway thanks for the nostalgia trip :D
I've recently realised I am autistic. I had a strange reaction watching this... like, I felt really emotional? It's like I've found my people, even if they are strangers on the internet pah.
My husband used to have the hardest time buying me gifts. A few years ago he found my Amazon wishlist that I added items to for when I wanted to treat myself. It has become much less difficult to react enthusiastically about receiving gifts :D
I recently purchased a weighted blanket and it is amazing. I have felt much better and calmer since using one.
Thank you for these suggestions. I had no idea what to ask for this year, but I'll definitely be adding some of these to my list!
TUTORIAL: HOW TO MAKE A WEIGHTED BLANKET
You’ll need:
-4 blankets or blanket-sized pieces of fabric- I used two twin size bedsheets, (50 cents each from my local charity shop) and two soft throw blankets
-Velcro strips, a zipper, or buttons (whatever is best for you/the least sensory hell)
-a big ass bag of rice
OK SO
1.Take the least fluffy fabric you’re using, and sew those two pieces together around the perimeter. So like stack them together and sew three of the four edges.
2. Sew lines into this stacked blanket parallel to one another, maybe 10cm apart
3. Pour rice into all the columns you created
4. Doing your best to divide the weight evenly, sew lines that are perpendicular to your original ones. (Like a grid) You should basically have a quilt now but instead of stuffing it’s rice
5. Set that aside and take the two fluffy blankets. Stack them and sew three out of the four sides
6. Attack the Velcro/buttons/zipper on the fourth side, so you’ve basically made a big fluffy sack
7. Put the rice quilt inside the fluffy sack and ascend to ultimate Peace.
To wash, take the sack off and just wash the sack. DONT WASH THE RICE QUILT I BEG OF YOU IT WILL JUST COOK THE RICE AND THEN YOU GOTTA START ALL OVER SERIOUSLY
But yeah. $20 weighted blanket. You’re welcome
My sister says the best presents are social presents, meaning gifts that are meant to use with another person, that encourage social interaction. She also suggested giving gifts to "the couple" versus
the person. I was extremely confused by those suggestions.
I bought myself noise cancelling head phones last month and they are a game changer!! I wish I had some in high school. I love that sparkly pillow! I want one. 99% of the time I don’t like getting so Christmas for me is the biggest giving time of year. :) I love getting the perfect gift for my family members.
I suck at buying gifts for others, and I'm pretty particular about what I like, so holidays with gifts create a lot of stress for me. I don't buy anyone gifts any more, and I only have one friend who still sends me something. Sometimes it's actually something I really like and I feel very touched. If it's not, I've stopped making myself feel guilty about it, and I pass it on to a thrift shop. And you are right, especially in winter when things are tough, gift cards, and especially grocery gift cards, would be most welcome!
Yeah, I do notice myself automatically put on the blank face when opening presents. So that I dont express anything one way or the other until I've figured out what it is and how to feel about it.
I also find myself just describing what it is in an as upbeat way possible, if I don't really feel much about it, like: "oh, it's a green ceramic bowl! I didn't have that..."
I somehow doubt that I'm fooling everyone, but I assume it's better than excitedly opening the present and disappointedly grimacing when I see it's something boring as I probably did when I was a kid.
It's not really that I dislike "boring" gifts, as almost all of it has a useful purpose, or at least I can exchange it for something better if it doesn't fit/I already have one/it's hideous; but I would really prefer to get something I can play with first so I have something to entertain myself with while the presents are being opened. When I was a kid I would always seek out the presents that sounded like Lego to open first. (Then I could also pretend to be too preoccupied with Lego to fully express joy for a later boring present.)
Omg yes I hated being pressured into opening presents in front of everyone. I actually tried planning my last birthday mostly by myself until a couple friends helped last minute and it was a disaster. I spent the whole night stressing out about stuff instead of just enjoying the company.
I got a lavender wheat bag for christmas, I love the smell and the weight and feeling the wheat inside it. It is very conforting and cozy. It also has cats on it and the colours match my bedding
Sam, Trains is fine! I wish someone would give me a train for Christmas. Even a trip to Swindon to see the "City of Truro" would be good!
I'm from the south of Mexico, so it's very hot and humid, people slepp in hammocks on a regular basis and when I moved to Mexico City and started to sleep in beds I realized how soothing a hamock is, so if you can get your hands on one, I would TOTALLY recomend getting a hammock
Might be worth adding: Neurotribes is good, but contains lots of descriptions of abuse against autistic people and I found it pretty depressing. You could consider skipping the entire middle section and going straight to Lorna Wing when the Nazis show up (it's more or less chronological).
Thanks for that warning, I totally forgot to mention that!
We've recently adopted a cat and I really love it when he lies on top of me when I take a nap.
Me taking notes on the books rec :D. I need noise cancelling headphones, that would be the perfect gift aha.
I'm also using the Clever fox planner and enjoy the fact that you add the date yourself & the quality of the paper is good, definitely second that (customer service is also helpful). (although it's been forever since I properly used it, oups) And I have the skillshare subscription, it was definitely worth it! If you're into marketing, they have a lot of resources. (I mean, they have more than that but that's what I'm interested in).
Now, about the asking part. YES text or even send pictures of the possible gifts beforehand and be prepared to wait a little for a reply. I've had someone ask me "what do you like?" on the spot and I went into overdrive and anxious at having to answer straight away. (Funnily enough, all I could think of is "nerdy, colourful socks" :'D). I never know how to react when someone gives me a gift, content idea for your channel: Possible scenarios of receiving gifts (from distant family member/from colleague/etc) and tips on what to say/how to react! I don't know how many people would be interested but I'd definitely watch that.
I love your vids. I love sitting down for a few minutes of "it's so nice to relate to someone". You're one of my fav RUclipsrs!
I remember one evening at one of the giant box stores near Christmastime there was a choir singing in the store and all the white fake snow, and the speakers still were playing music also, and there were about 20 cash registers each with a dozen people in line talking and the ringings and the chatter and the bright lights so far up.
Christmas is always a tough time for me.
you had me at glitter, stimmy paint pens. and the shake of the box. my eldest would LOVE these. thanks for the video!
The Calmer-Earplugs from Flare are also a great and affordable present. At the beginning I thought they do nothing, BUT they actually filter a lot of sounds on the high and low ends, so that your brain is not as overwelmed as usually and can cope with sensory input much better. I love them! Plus: You can have normal conversations while wearing them.
Though I found your video way too late for Christmas 😅, I (being an Auti myself) feel everything you stated resonate with me. Thank you, Sam! I appreciate your work very much! Greetings from Germany
When I was younger I was really into Star Trek, and my mom actually shared this interest to an extent and she was able to pick up on how much I was into it. And when I was 12 she got me the collector's set of the movies for Christmas, which at the time was the first five movies. It was one of the best gifts I have ever received. But now I tell people to just give me gift cards or money because I am more OCD and picky about what comes into my space. My mom is actually very good about this too because she sends me a Vanilla gift card for the holidays and money for my birthday which is usually equal to my age.
Very kindly your videos are great the intro is considerably louder than the part when you speak. No harm meant with this much love. Xoxo
My husband got me one of those massagers for Christmas last year
I use it in several areas; but because of all my Chronic illnesses such as Lupus SLE, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Marfan Syndrome, and Chronic Lyme Disease i have lots of tummy aches and GI issues and this helps my tummy soooooooo much.
I think they should advertise it for tummies too.
There is a possibility that I am on the spectrum also.
With all my other Chronic health issuses I have, I haven't had a chance to actually get a real diagnosis.
oh my gosh! I've never though about using a massager for my stomach! I also have lots of GI issues and chronic illnesses (including lupus) so i definitely want to try that!
My daughter loves oil timers she’s got about 20 😂 she’s got massive fidget boxes and I try to make her a new sensory bag every Christmas but am quickly running out of ideas. She’s obsessed with Windows at the moment so a sequin cushion with the windows logo would be amazing! - love these ideas x
Got a weighted blanket for Christmas ; Cried for an hour. I’d been wanting one for years.
I appreciate you saying that some autistic people don't really like gifts or don't see the point of them and that a gift-giver should trust them on that, because... I explicitly told my family not to give me anything this past Christmas and I got a bunch of gifts.
Sent to me in Japan.
Shipping costs had been marked on the packages and they were not cheap. I put off opening them until after New Years because I felt so awkward.
So thank you so much for that last bit.
I have sequin slippers that are unicorns and they’re the most fun thing ever and so comfy to wear as the inside is soft like a fuzzy sock.
This is the first time learning that dateless planners exist and I think I just had a life changing revelation. I NEED one.
Great advice, maybe I will send this to my inlaws that don't understand that I would ratherget nothing than trying to pretend I like something I will never use. Dead right about practical gifts.
Taotronics have in ear noise cancelling, they work really well for travel when you don't want bulk. I've had mine for 3 years.
A mechanical typewriter.
It is basically a fidget tool that actually does something. And it is very satisfying to write on them.
Regarding sound, AirPods Pro are awesome for noise cancellation, 2 are better than 1. It’s great because they look like headphones and people are more likely to leave you alone whereas earplugs are usually designed to be subtle. Also, you can add white noise (and even control the tone), or of course listen to something when appropriate.
When I’m doing something incredibly boring, it helps to have something to focus on to avoid my brain jumping to other tasks, ideally something I’m familiar with so it doesn’t consume my entire attention. A TV series that I’ve already watched a few times is perfect for when I’m working on mind-numbingly boring tasks.
My favourite fidgets are the 5mm Neodymium rainbow coloured balls and a small also rainbow coloured stainless steel top that clips to my key chain. The magnet balls are the best though.
Cool gift ideas. Hibernating as much as possible until this season passes. Do like some of the holiday cheerful lights but crowds have come. Pretending this season is not happening to the extent possible, ignoring it.
Nerdy, Shy and Socially Inappropriate has been my favourite book I've read on autism so far and made me feel really understood
Also, I've learned from experience that I do really well when I have some sort of jean swatch to tear apart instead of my skin...highly recommend if you're struggling with skin picking or hair pulling.
Edit: I have two weighted blankets (one was too warm and I ended up getting a cooler one/bamboo). But, I've found that warmies are actually great for weighted stuffed animals to get to sleep. The lavender is very nice and not too scented. Also, my family just decided that I should send them an email with links to the things I want for Christmas gifts. That's been working I guess and it helped my family be able to get me things they feel like I would like as well as being able to even have an idea of what I would like. Using hyperlinks for gifts can really help, especially when I have something very specific I want and can't really describe it to my family.
I’m a big stuffed animal person and have gotten a few really prized ones. I got something like a squishmallow, but nicer feeling one year. I also got these heavy winter socks as a gift that squeeze my foot in the perfect way. They’re too loose now but I got them 5 years ago.
In the past I would suffer through Christmas and then get on my Harley Sportster and go for a Christmas day ride. It was so nice to get away from everything and there were hardly any cars out, it was my solitude although it was usually quite cold. I usually am down between November and February so less interaction and expectations are welcome at a time when they are expected. Some good gift ideas.
My father is a great present giver, he always knows what I need/like. Like movies that we watched in theater or from books that I read and watch them together. Or giving me musical tickers from musicals that I know from cd etc. And if he doesn't know what to give me he asks. :)
Weighted blanket. Thanks for the idea. I might go buy one of those for myself :)
For headphones, I highly recommend paying the extra money for the Bose headphones. Those things are AMAZING! Mine pretty much live on my head. I have three pairs now :D Best investiments ever :D
Yeh Bose for sure
After writing this comment, I did go and buy a weighted blanket. I rarely use it though. I can see the appeal on some ways, but it's a bit annoying in others, particular if you want to change position at night and need to haul a super heavy blanket around your bed.
These videos you put out are really quite insightful, opens my eyes to Autism/Asperger's, even though I have it, I don't really know a lot about it, probably to my own detriment.
Thank you