I never “dated.” Had 3 long term relationships. Last one - my husband and I met randomly and instantaneously knew it was love at first sight. Moved in together that week. Our daughter was born the following year (not knowing we were pregnant while we married)... Been married 13 years now with 3 kids. Still electric. Sex is amazing. Love is amazing. However, don’t let anybody convince you love is bliss. A marriage isn’t rainbows and butterflies. There are major ups.. then major downs. Most couples now give up rather than putting in the work.
l find Men and Women who are married are far more interesting, humorous, intelligent and all around fun to talk to. Especially if they have developed their spiritual component of mind, body and soul.
@Beautiful diva if the foundation is built on love and moral values... it will last. There have been times he hasn’t cared or I put in 99% of the effort... but then situations many years later reverse with age. It’s a lot of work. You need to have a strong foundation of love, trust, and similar values. Otherwise - it’s doomed. There’s been times I wanted to leave and him as well. Only made us stronger.
@Beautiful diva not really marriage beans.. just more if recent values and culture placed more emphasis on a true marriage foundation and didn’t frown upon it
Esther nailed it - we fix ourselves in relationships together - I focus on me being who I want to be and most importantly I ask do I like myself with him? Am I being authentic - am I being true to me - instead he says being with her has enriched my life in every way - we always have each other’s back - my man and I say the perfect marriage is 2 imperfect people who won’t give up on each other - we accept all imperfections flaws habits addictions sickness illness cellulite flab sag false teeth balding injuries disability all of it - he said to me the other night ‘even when we’re 90 I will love you more till I die’
Your relationship is beautiful! Your message has inspired me to keep on trying. My guy and I are having a rough patch. He’s the man I’ll love til I die. Thank you!
@Love One another maybe he doesn’t know how to get help. Nudge him in the right direction by getting him the number but let him make the phone call. Find a reputable therapist for him but let him make the appointment.
@Love One another I used to love alcohol then I gave up for health reasons. Now I love call.of duty mobile. It's much better to be addicted to games than alcohol. You can't play games while drinking because you're just do extremely badly. Play games a group activity. When he loses all the time he will want to give up drinking because he will want to win.
@Love One another I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Looks to me like he’s lost himself or forgot who he is. Aside from the pandemic is there anything else that tripped him up and made him want to go numb? I know you love him enough to want what’s best for your family. But maybe ask him what he thinks is best for him ? A vacation, maybe golf/a game or let his answer surprise you. Let him figure that out. If you’re doing all the asking then he’s not having to take any responsibility or initiative for coming up with a solution for his problem. Does he even think it’s a problem? Sending you prayers for strength and rapid recovery for your husband.
I love what Esther said. I was scared to be in a relationship because i thought i wasnt good enough and needed to fix myself. When I did feel ready and got into a relationship.. it challenged me in different ways and made me realize i still have a lot to work on and change, and its beautiful to be able to be open with your partner about those things and to have their moral support❤️
Same advice I've given my son, instead of focusing on searching for someone, or on what you do not have... yet, you'll change your life by changing your focus to a positive instead of a negative. Focus on getting ready for what you decide that you'll have one day, focus there and go ahead and have faith that your heart's desire will be coming. Then your perspective can change & you can take steps towards that happening & who YOU will be when that person comes into your life. Start getting more into all the things that excite & interest you & develop who you are, your skills, hobbies, fun things you like to do, friends. Have a life to share with her. At the very least it will build who you are and give you positive things to do, a positive mind set and energy, and give you a better life than if you sent the time sitting around looking at pictures of women, wondering why you aren't with one. ?Building the future you, who you want to be and enjoying your life will bring meaning into your life and also mean you'll draw a like person to you.
Not really, your soul mate wants to find someone who can help them grow. And vice versa. Otherwise your work is done here, if you’re not learning and growing, you’re teaching and showing. Most relationships fall into the previous.
@@rogerehughes I agree! The ability to learn and grow and to encourage someone to do the same is part of being awesome. When you have finally become "awesome" you have gotten to the point where you were able to learn and grow into awesomeness. However, part of that is the ability to continue that growth and learning and taking others with you to new heights.
@VICC acc That makes no sense. We are all interconnected souls....including the people that are meant to come in our lives. You are your own unique person. You have no half.
You're so right! Your soul mate will match you. Also, it's like a wedding gift to your soul mate if you make yourself the best you can be and vice versa!
Devon Franklin just blew my mind! He said so much that needed to be said! Today I was struggling with getting over a former partner who could not stay faithful (through our relationship and beyond ours), and this just opened my eyes about where’s he’s at and who he is right now. He has all the external surroundings dialed, but there is something internally amiss that he is avoiding, and he is not at peace. Thank you for bringing this tough subject to the table, Lewis! So important for male health and relationships.
Rather than saying what I want my partner to be like I have a list of things I want to experience with my partner. For instance mutual trust is important to me as is moving through changes supporting each other. It feels to me that by focusing on what we wish to experience we have more freedom to explore different ways of expression and we each take responsibility for working with the other as we create what we desire.
Yes! This was so insightful! It helped me see why so many men have wanted to keep me when I was younger... and why I got bored so often and so easily in those younger days 😔
It should be because happiness starts within but shared experiences brings more love. But, sadly people invest more in nights out more than love. Start working on you first. Better dating means happier marriages because we master our confidence.
I want to testify of how i got back my girlfriend after breakup, we have been together for 3 years, recently i found out my girlfriend was having an affair with another boy, when i confronted her, it led to quarrels and she finally broke up with me, i tried all i could to get her back but all to no avail until i saw a post in a relationship forum about a spell caster who helps people get back their lost love through spell, at first i doubted but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell via his email, he helped me cast a reunion spell and my girlfriend left the boy and returned to me within 12 to 16 hours, we are happily together again. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship, marriage and other problems via Email: landylovespell@gmail.com or landylovespell@yahoo.com you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2347053160384 thanks so much dr landy
It's not just a male problem with lust. This part of the conversation was really insightful and helpful. I've been meeting with someone who is helping me temper my lust by growing in love and it is phenomenal! Just his act of being willing to not only wait but to help me maintain self control and support me in waiting is making me fall for this man. It is, by far, the most attractive thing I've ever seen in any man EVER! To be valued highly enough to be treated like more than just a body is invaluable to developing a true deep love that will last.
For me, lust is shallow and empty. When you find true love, when clothes are off, you make love which is on a level that makes lust seem like a childish act. If a man cannot devote himself to the woman he loves, then he must grow up as a person and leave that relationship, and only until he is mature enough to be faithful, then never date for love.
Truth is definitely the crucial factor. You meet someone and you get to know them. If there is nothing that you want to change about each other then the next step is if you are willing to make this person a priority every day. If the answer is YES then that is the commitment. Compatibility is when you both are at the same level of understanding and both are at a comfortable with their decision and with their mutual understanding. It starts with loving and accepting yourself. You can not value someone else when you dont value and appreciate yourself.
i agree with him. i never sleep with my husband, until he married me. and our marriage was very successful. we've been married for 36 1/2 years and kept our vows.
As a woman, I appreciate the honesty in this conversation. I see social media causes a lot of FOMO in both men & women; people are constantly seeking more satisfaction outside of the day-to-day due to scrolling the highlight reel on Instagram.
Love how Lewis takes notes. He wants this information as we do. Really like this guy! I was meant to find this channel now. So helpful and enlightening. 🙏🏼
I love the part of Esther talking about repair in small ways. We do it by offering a cup of coffee or really we always repair thru our pets. When we have a disagreement, we almost come to the other with some cute thing that our pets are doing or have done that drives the other one to either decide to get over it and participate in the cuteness or extend the fight. The cuteness almost always wins. And when it doesn’t , it’s a sign to the other that the breach was slightly bigger and we need to take notice and try not to hurt each other in that way or speech.
Of course it works, because if you follow this advice you'll take time to get to know yourself and figure out what you want. And you'll also take the time to get to know someone. That alone will cause you to sort out people who aren't good for you in the first place. And yes, narcissistic abuse can arise without showing itself from the start - I've been through that myself. But the more you know about yourself and about what you want, the better, because you'll notice narcissistic behaviour easier that way and you might be able to get away before it's getting worse. In my case, I dated one narcissist, and that was a life lesson. Since then, I met a few people who also showed similar behaviour, but the difference was that I didn't rush into the relationship or even into sleeping with them, so I was able to pull the safety line before things could get downhill again. Taking time is the best thing one can do in dating.
Keep your standards and boundaries. Holding fast to your boundaries will cause the wrong men to fall away. Narcissists do not like boundaries. They will aways test and push the boundary. Once you see that a man does not care about your boundary, a healthy woman would lose interest. I am not attracted to a man who does not care about about the fact that he is making me feel uncomfortable by pushing or ignoring a boundary. This is one way to avoid a narc. Also, if he cannot hold accountability, if he deflects responsibility, cannot apologize, this is another sign.
@@Manullus went through a narcissistic 9 years marriage too and i know not every red flag u have to run from some can be fixed but i went through 1.5 years of therapy and its been 4 years and still see a few red flags and i get so scared i run...it was a painful divorce..dont even know if i ran from a good man.
Such wisdom here!! As a woman it’s soooo great to hear a man awake, reflecting on how lust damages relationships, and sharing about how to really love!! Wow! Love this:) Many women don’t want to be lusted after, it makes us feel used and objectified.
Spiritual & physical discipline is a key to a happy life. Managing lust & the art of manipulation for selfishness keeps you focused. You have to stand firm in what you will accept & what will not be tolerated. Love & Peace .
A healthy relationship is a consequence of the union of two mature, life smart healthy people...Most people are on survival mode...physically and mentally sick...and they want to have a healthy relationship ...🤣Good luck!
I truly believe, and I speak for myself only, that when you find “the one”, there will no words for an explanation to describe the feeling, you just have this knowing the person is your person by what you feel when you are with him/her - when the connection is right, you feel a sense of peacefulness, harmony, passion, love, comfort.. and just feel a sense of home in that person.🥰 I do feel like I’ve found my person because I feel all of this and just feel a very strong, intense connection with him that I’ve never felt with anyone else before, BUT it is just not the right timing to be with them; right person, wrong time.💛🕊💞
Thank you for your voice .Talking about not sexualizing women as objects. This is the topic I talk about often because my daughter was raped by 4 males and a photo taken of her assault and shared everywhere. If she was not seen as an object to conquer that night she would not be dead at 17. We need more men talking about these important topic.
Thank you for sharing this. His advice at 10 minutes and 30 seconds is so refreshing to me because I have honestly just wanted to give up after dating so many men who were dishonest and misleading. To hear him say the sentence “humanize her“ is exactly what I needed to hear and teach . This guy is magic to my ears. It gives me hope in a very chaotic world .
The fact that "humanize her" needs to be taught shows just how far our culture has fallen. Thanks to TV media sexualized movies dancing programming. Salacious and base movies like American Pie really planted evil in the minds of young men. Women are more than body parts...duh!!!!!!!
I’ve listened to so many relationship advice videos. This is up there in the top tier Intelligent nurturing humans. I feel you all really care . Excited to share your knowledge to grow and thrive . You did great , thank you.
This may have been said already but ALL of this only works if you’re with the right partner I instinctively did a lot of this with the last person I was with, engaged to be married but the vulnerability was seen as weakness as described. having a supportive partner that’s interested in growing together is the key to make any one of these findings work. best wishes ! as we are all here trying to better our lives
Love passion trust communication and if you find your soulmate you will know its so poweful in all its ways.Everyday it gets stronger! And you walk with butterflies in your stomach everyday its amazing! Your soulmate is out there. And to find your soulmate you will feel it and I mean it you will feel it because its powerful .
Healing time does depend on the person. I have dated men who were not healed after a divorce 10 years later. And some who were able to heal within 6 months after they divorced. Its very specific to the individual.
Exactly. Love! When we love we know why that person, not the other. When there are doubts, it comes back to us, do we truly love this person, or not? The rest is just noise. 🤭🌹🌹 Beautiful subject, awesome guest Mr. Howes. 🌹😊
I really needed this, my marriage is on the cusp of divorce...I don’t want too, because I truly love my W.I.F.E. (Where I find encouragement)! I’m Praying that our marriage and relationship gets restored to a better place!
That's where the saying each day is a gift so when you wake up if you wake up and you're blessed with the gift of a new day, live it to your fullest every minute because even in that gift you never know from one minute to the next if it is your last
Honesty is key as it builds trust. Meet someone 10 years ago got together didn't sleep with him immediately. Than the confusion set in, so gave him space to date other women the rule for me was you can date other women just don't come to me to get what you can't get from other women while your playing around. I knew he would be back for good theirs only one of me. We are together better than ever our relationship is trusting, playful respectful we gave it time to grow so worth it. 💖
I like his practical approach and clarity on this. The success of everything begins with intent , planning, determination , principled and commitment. So mutual connection is expedient, it would promote selflessness, teamwork and tolerance. Stay blessed 🙏
As a (heterosexual) female, I've had long term relationships with guys where sex (as in intercourse, not other forms of physical intimacy) wasn't even an option because they were being abstinent until marriage. So it was never even an issue. Premarital sex can't even happen if the GUY isn't going to do it. We need to be training the girls AND the guys in the benefits of not sleeping around, waiting in a monogamous relationship or until marriage. It's absurd to be in a culture where abstinence isn't even an expected option or desire from GUYS, where it's all on the girl to (try to) enforce whether it's going to happen or not. It has so many benefits for BOTH people while dating (never have to worry about unwanted / unplanned pregnancy, stds, etc.). And there are plenty of other ways to be physically intimate.
I love Esther the way she explained everything so clear and very specific I really want to watch over and over again I have a lot to learn in her.i like this video so much.
The lady at 1 hour and 16 minutes is so awesome can't have a great life without great relationship with people of course you need to take care of yourself but our life is made up in the moments with special people in our lives
Lewis, I'm just at your interview with Lori Gottlieb. Love these first two interviews, and partly because of your own aliveness and animation. I had the thought: It takes a lot to get to that state, so to hear about your own story and how you want through it is inspiring.
After 40 years , 3 kids and 4 grandkids. I give myself permission to granded my wishing. I always believe marriage must be more then love and desires... honest, respect, caring for each other, protection and share.
What about love? love is supposed to make the world go round. Love is what makes the happiest songs and love is what makes the saddest songs. Personally, I feel we analyze things too much. So much confusing, conflicting info. No relationship can come with an instruction manual. Can't we just be spontaneous, fall in love, elope, be happy? And if got the wrong guy or girl, yeah, let's get drunk and bitch about them and cry with our BFFs. And if we get the right person? then love again is what makes the world go round. This is real life. We are not AI. We are people. Gifted or flawed but humans! It is why I absolutely love Esther Perel. She keeps it real.
@VICC acc you don't have a clue your friends are not your soulmate your family is your family. Other people can hurt you or take advantage of you. Just like this guy in this video he doesn't know he is actually clueless. He just believes he thinks he knows some secrets about women to sell a book.
Yeah - you might be attracted temporarily or on just a sexual level but then you don't have to act on it just because you are. If we sense someone's wrong for us long term, we should move on as soon as we're aware of that.
10:10 - The first speaker Devon Franklin: wow, treat women as human beings not sexual commodities. It's 2021. How does this extremely basic concept have to be repeated over and over again? Edit: the first speaker is Devon Franklin - I added that to the first sentence.
It has to be repeated over and over again until everyone gets it. You can't expect decades of toxic masculinity that thought generations of men how they supposedly should be to disappear over night. From a man's point of view: this shit sits deeeeep in our culture and only recently we've started to question that bs. It will get better and it will change our society for the better, I'm sure - but like any change this will take time.
@@Manullus it has to be repeated over and over again: good people do good and treat others with basic humanity and bad people don't. But bad people will try to blame their behavior on everything and everyone except themselves so they don't have to take responsibility.
@@Project2013B : Matt has said something else that's also common sense on that point: a woman who does that wasn't raised right and or has (wrongly) internalized that from the culture, or something else equally backwards. Guys shouldnt put up with that and date only women who are independent, self responsible adults who of course pay their share. But there's kind of that tradition culturally that the guy pays at least on the first date, but the woman can offer and AT LEAST pay the tip or her side. I had a relationship once where we struggled with what to do with that as it's nice to be treated to stuff. So we took turns planning dates and taking each other out and paying for it - unless it was clearly more pricey than normal and we'd both pay our share. One really stupid problem in society / culture though still, is the really old fashioned outdated idea / fantasy that if a woman is smart (much less) attractive enough, she can / should find a guy rich enough that if they marry, she doesn't even have to work if she doesn't want to and/or that would be a better lifestyle for the couple. And if the guy's interested and responsible enough, he'll earn enough to provide that and a high standard of living whether they have kids or not but definitely if they have kids so she can stay home and raise the kids. And to be honest, the "who's gonna ing to care for the kids" question is a real one in terms of staying home, and finances, etc. But that might be a weird / messed up disfunctionall kind of "ideal" women are supposed to have in looking for a mate that still persists. And really attractive women are almost always expected to have lots of choices in guys if all things are being equal, you equally like a bunch of interested guys, choose the guy you like who ALSO has the most money? That's an old perception / misperception to have as a dating goal too but that also still exists. There are a whole bunch of weird things like that but, basically, unless the guy clearly genuinely wants to (with no expectations or pressure to repay in kind in other ways) and really can definitely afford it, then the first few dates MIGHT be okay, but the tip should at the very least still be offered by the woman, and if there are any dates beyond the second and third, money needs to be discussed early on by the couple, like two grown, mature, responsible adults - who pays, what's fair, doable, what are the expectations, why etc. My personal opinion is that the most important thing materially is that whatever it is he has he wants to share it with his s.o. - is he generous or wants to be generous with his resources. But the woman shouldnt expect it or let him pay for everything - again pay your own share. And it's critically important for both parties to have their own livelihood and not be dependent on anyone else much less someone they're dating. I also think this applies to marriage (a good divorce is where both people end up materially not missing anything or worse off because they can both individually afford what they need and want). But in marriages with kids, the whole "who pays" thing can take on a very different, joint finances practical aspect, that has to be discussed and figured out by individual couples when theyre dating - if they're serious about each other as a souse or life partner or if they could be, what do they want and why, concerning who works, to have kids, to both work, stay home then go back to work, etc.
LOVE FIGHTS for all relationships when they are in trouble so they don't end. A house divided WILL NOT make it. If they walk away easy, they never valued you. It was all about them. It doesn't matter what type it is (friends, family, marriage, dating). If they walk away easy, it was NEVER love. It was self centered and prideful. When you caught on and exposed it, they left. On the flip side, don't fight for an abusive or toxic relationship. It can make you sick, raise your cortisol level and put you in the hospital or even get diseases from the stress alone. Start having strong boundaries and value yourself. #SHARE
Literally just dealt with this.. My ex had all the signs of a narcissist so I finally called him out on his lack of empathy and the way he had been invalidating my feelings.. I wasn't a bit surprised when he lashed out at me and broke things off. Do not be a doormat, don't compromise your boundaries, and NEVER let anyone tell you that you're too sensitive.
@@lisacranmer8005 Because this has happened to me and it happened and I was with someone and that person was really psychopathic and controlling spying, pressurizing it was just that and taking privacy in your hands forever Person really narcissistic. today i am happy alone..
@@destineehiatt2016 We can get everything in our life but finding a true partner is probably very difficult in this life and it is difficult in this world to find a partner who does not control us, who does not spy on us, who controls our thoughts well. Show us the one who gives us love, with whom we feel safe, who gives us all our respect, and there are very few people in this world who behave so well who don't do such bad things. Together because in today's world man has become the enemy of man and this is the biggest problem in love, in friendship, in marriage, in marriage, no matter what the relationship is, but if your partner forces you. tries to control you tries to spy on you so I don't know the message says that partner is not from God but that partner in your life is from the devil
@Lewis - I am a person who is "dead inside". A stranger at a party said it to me without even having spoken to me. This all comes down to Cluster B personalities from Narcissistic parenting. The needs of us have not been met. I'm a covert borderline who just got out of a very toxic relationship with a Narcissist. Richard Grannon has an emotional literacy test. It's for CPTSD. He has a 30 day bootcamp to teach people how to feel their emotions and not over react. So does Lisa Romano.
Both male and female energies do the same thing until Self Love is accomplished 👋.... Who really taught us how to love... the TV?.... These lessons come from within as we learn to find true love within...This is why we were directed to a God in the sky... something outside of ourselves to keep us from knowing what power we have within💯 .There are consequences for these type of behaviors especially in the aspect of abusing people....however everyone came to learn different lessons individually.... Not everyone is meant to be put in a prison of marriage or a prison of relationship... but at the same time one must learn that they have been programmed to look for love in all the wrong places.... because love is already inside of Us.... As Whitney Houston sang... The Greatest Love of is inside of Us... learning to love Ourself is the Greatest Love and when We get to this point...we will definitely know how to love and care for others👋 until we accomplish this task.... We will not know how to treat others properly💯.....and until we find Ourselves and be happy with Ourself...we will not be happy with another individual...and continue to judge them as They accomplished their own individual learning experiences necessary for their growth. It's that simple👍 Know ThySelf.... Know Inner Guidance or Energy within or whatever you want to label it as.... Spirit... Soul ...Source or Infinite Intelligence.... It's all within us.... No need to look on the other outside until we get the Inside together.....and when we get to this point we will attract people with similar behaviors.... Are they going to stay? We don't know.... But we must know We will always be in our own life......We don't even know if that's how life is supposed to be trying to corral others to be in relationships of marriages.... That's what we were told.... So live life without hurting others or abusing others and you will have a great life 🙏 Peace and LOVE 💯🎁
finding your soulmate or for your soulmate to be revealed to you by the higher power starts with working on yourself and become whole first, so if there's issues like that, and not being able to talk to that person... if it doesn't flow easily than that's not the relationship god picked for you. thats a relationship the person put themself in. there for that not you soulmate. and to be whole is not to put yourselves in relationship rather than being okay waiting for god to reveal your soulmate, and continue working on yourself to get whole.
@36:40 This is a great question! Thank you Lewis for always going out of your way to have great guest who are some of the most intelligent people of our day. And never hesitating to take things a little further and asking more questions to help your viewers understand or realize with the right information they can finally be free from their prison, delivered from the chains of yesterday.. and that they can now walk into their future healed & free.. just like anyone else with the right tools or the right perspective we can all learn to live life fully authentically. 💛
I'm going through a divorce a few month after covid pandemic started. I think COVID really impacts everyone and staying home together 24)7 makes it become boring and see every little things the other person do or say and it annoys you in the things you don't like and if someone lose a job they take it out on the other person and it becomes a big problem. Every relationship needs space to appreciate the person you love. This is my perspective
This was a wonderful combination. It motivated me to get 3 books for next year Lewis's School of greatness including. :) Lewis really makes great interviews!
Devon Frankin… full circle today I saw that he is in the process of getting a divorce? Wondering in retrospect if what he was saying then resonates with him today?
My mom said men and marriage are some of the smallest parts in life like sesame and beans… there will be wasting of energy to try to ensure the relationship lasts but instead, we should put our energy mostly on ourselves, so that we can handle life no matter what happens. She divorced twice and she s happily planning to remarry soon, but my mom is very independent and her confidence about herself and life.
This vid came on randomly after another video I was watching and I couldn’t turn away. Such good transparent conversations. I really enjoy and benefit from you. Thank you.
By knowing your natal chart, you can know when love will come into your life. You can find your best foot to be brought forward, which makes you shine and then love finds you quickly.
You have to make sure words match actions I have experienced with men telling me there plans of moving out of state or the area and then they wonder why I stop contacting them. If they're moving why would I waste me time. Look for the lil red flags.
Your there to enrich each other's life respecting each other's independence knowing there will be different point's of view it comes back to worth respect and love to yourself first then master those values together 💚
They need to teach all this in 9th grade on through 12th at least, so many in bad childhoods could avoid so many bad choices if they had basic knowledge about how we heal from emotional trauma and neglect and how we can learn to value and love ourselves, why we really need to for our future happiness as well as the happiness of any future children we may have. We can and should learn how to value ourselves no matter how others may have treated us.
WOW!! what a great talk! All men should listen to this video, all the guys ! This man is exceptionally wise even though he speaks with common sense, it's incredible a man can be above sex as I never meet any! Thank you for restoring my FAITH. 💗💗
I never “dated.” Had 3 long term relationships. Last one - my husband and I met randomly and instantaneously knew it was love at first sight. Moved in together that week. Our daughter was born the following year (not knowing we were pregnant while we married)... Been married 13 years now with 3 kids. Still electric. Sex is amazing. Love is amazing. However, don’t let anybody convince you love is bliss. A marriage isn’t rainbows and butterflies. There are major ups.. then major downs. Most couples now give up rather than putting in the work.
NICELY SAID.
l find Men and Women who are married are far more interesting, humorous, intelligent and all around fun to talk to. Especially if they have developed their spiritual component of mind, body and soul.
It's the Journey not the Destination. Life is between B and D....C= choices
@Beautiful diva if the foundation is built on love and moral values... it will last. There have been times he hasn’t cared or I put in 99% of the effort... but then situations many years later reverse with age. It’s a lot of work. You need to have a strong foundation of love, trust, and similar values. Otherwise - it’s doomed. There’s been times I wanted to leave and him as well. Only made us stronger.
@Beautiful diva not really marriage beans.. just more if recent values and culture placed more emphasis on a true marriage foundation and didn’t frown upon it
Esther nailed it - we fix ourselves in relationships together - I focus on me being who I want to be and most importantly I ask do I like myself with him? Am I being authentic - am I being true to me - instead he says being with her has enriched my life in every way - we always have each other’s back - my man and I say the perfect marriage is 2 imperfect people who won’t give up on each other - we accept all imperfections flaws habits addictions sickness illness cellulite flab sag false teeth balding injuries disability all of it - he said to me the other night ‘even when we’re 90 I will love you more till I die’
Your relationship is beautiful! Your message has inspired me to keep on trying. My guy and I are having a rough patch. He’s the man I’ll love til I die. Thank you!
Don’t be in a relationship to fill a void. Choose to be with someone that actively adds to your life and makes it better.
Hi 🙋🏾♂️
Nice metaphor!
@Love One another maybe he doesn’t know how to get help. Nudge him in the right direction by getting him the number but let him make the phone call. Find a reputable therapist for him but let him make the appointment.
@Love One another I used to love alcohol then I gave up for health reasons. Now I love call.of duty mobile. It's much better to be addicted to games than alcohol. You can't play games while drinking because you're just do extremely badly. Play games a group activity. When he loses all the time he will want to give up drinking because he will want to win.
@Love One another I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Looks to me like he’s lost himself or forgot who he is. Aside from the pandemic is there anything else that tripped him up and made him want to go numb? I know you love him enough to want what’s best for your family. But maybe ask him what he thinks is best for him ? A vacation, maybe golf/a game or let his answer surprise you. Let him figure that out. If you’re doing all the asking then he’s not having to take any responsibility or initiative for coming up with a solution for his problem. Does he even think it’s a problem? Sending you prayers for strength and rapid recovery for your husband.
I love what Esther said. I was scared to be in a relationship because i thought i wasnt good enough and needed to fix myself. When I did feel ready and got into a relationship.. it challenged me in different ways and made me realize i still have a lot to work on and change, and its beautiful to be able to be open with your partner about those things and to have their moral support❤️
Message me on WhatsApp
I just had such a Aha moment. I thought I needed to heal because I wanted to come complete. Ty for this perspective.
Your soul mate wants to find someone awesome, so go ahead and make yourself awesome first!
Good looking out lil homie, thanks for the super chat 💖
Same advice I've given my son, instead of focusing on searching for someone, or on what you do not have... yet, you'll change your life by changing your focus to a positive instead of a negative. Focus on getting ready for what you decide that you'll have one day, focus there and go ahead and have faith that your heart's desire will be coming. Then your perspective can change & you can take steps towards that happening & who YOU will be when that person comes into your life. Start getting more into all the things that excite & interest you & develop who you are, your skills, hobbies, fun things you like to do, friends. Have a life to share with her. At the very least it will build who you are and give you positive things to do, a positive mind set and energy, and give you a better life than if you sent the time sitting around looking at pictures of women, wondering why you aren't with one. ?Building the future you, who you want to be and enjoying your life will bring meaning into your life and also mean you'll draw a like person to you.
Not really, your soul mate wants to find someone who can help them grow. And vice versa. Otherwise your work is done here, if you’re not learning and growing, you’re teaching and showing. Most relationships fall into the previous.
@@rogerehughes I agree! The ability to learn and grow and to encourage someone to do the same is part of being awesome. When you have finally become "awesome" you have gotten to the point where you were able to learn and grow into awesomeness. However, part of that is the ability to continue that growth and learning and taking others with you to new heights.
@@KathyHussey063 Well spoken!!!
Two halves don’t make a whole when it comes to people. Choose you first, you’ll attract your partner.
Yep! Just like the Bible says love your neighbor like you love yourself. Problem is most people don’t properly love themselves or know how to
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Don't look for your soulmate. Look for your own soul first, and then the rest will flow like water.
Yessssss!!!!! You feel so fulfilled on your own which gives you this magnetic energy that attracts the right people
@VICC acc That makes no sense. We are all interconnected souls....including the people that are meant to come in our lives. You are your own unique person. You have no half.
@VICC acc I agree with that.
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You're so right! Your soul mate will match you. Also, it's like a wedding gift to your soul mate if you make yourself the best you can be and vice versa!
Devon Franklin just blew my mind! He said so much that needed to be said! Today I was struggling with getting over a former partner who could not stay faithful (through our relationship and beyond ours), and this just opened my eyes about where’s he’s at and who he is right now. He has all the external surroundings dialed, but there is something internally amiss that he is avoiding, and he is not at peace. Thank you for bringing this tough subject to the table, Lewis! So important for male health and relationships.
Rather than saying what I want my partner to be like I have a list of things I want to experience with my partner. For instance mutual trust is important to me as is moving through changes supporting each other. It feels to me that by focusing on what we wish to experience we have more freedom to explore different ways of expression and we each take responsibility for working with the other as we create what we desire.
Wow, amazing comment and idea. Thank you.
Love this
Spot on with your steps to be free of any doubts
Matthew hit the nail on the head 110 %!! It is absolutely all about "unique pairing" ...it makes the person seem irreplaceable
Yes! This was so insightful!
It helped me see why so many men have wanted to keep me when I was younger... and why I got bored so often and so easily in those younger days 😔
The Biggest Investment in your life is choosing the right partner that fits your life and makes you evolve as a human being!✨🙏☝️👍
It should be because happiness starts within but shared experiences brings more love. But, sadly people invest more in nights out more than love. Start working on you first. Better dating means happier marriages because we master our confidence.
Obviously! Dah
Exactly: The Best Match is when each partner brings out the Best in his/her mate...
I want to testify of how i got back my girlfriend after breakup, we have been together for 3 years, recently i found out my girlfriend was having an affair with another boy, when i confronted her, it led to quarrels and she finally broke up with me, i tried all i could to get her back but all to no avail until i saw a post in a relationship forum about a spell caster who helps people get back their lost love through spell, at first i doubted but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell via his email, he helped me cast a reunion spell and my girlfriend left the boy and returned to me within 12 to 16 hours, we are happily together again. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship, marriage and other problems via Email: landylovespell@gmail.com or landylovespell@yahoo.com you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2347053160384 thanks so much dr landy
I agree with it.i hope. I can find that.
It's not just a male problem with lust.
This part of the conversation was really insightful and helpful.
I've been meeting with someone who is helping me temper my lust by growing in love and it is phenomenal!
Just his act of being willing to not only wait but to help me maintain self control and support me in waiting is making me fall for this man.
It is, by far, the most attractive thing I've ever seen in any man EVER! To be valued highly enough to be treated like more than just a body is invaluable to developing a true deep love that will last.
For me, lust is shallow and empty. When you find true love, when clothes are off, you make love which is on a level that makes lust seem like a childish act.
If a man cannot devote himself to the woman he loves, then he must grow up as a person and leave that relationship, and only until he is mature enough to be faithful, then never date for love.
100% ❤
The sex is just the icing on the cake but without the cake you got nothing
Truth is definitely the crucial factor. You meet someone and you get to know them. If there is nothing that you want to change about each other then the next step is if you are willing to make this person a priority every day. If the answer is YES then that is the commitment.
Compatibility is when you both are at the same level of understanding and both are at a comfortable with their decision and with their mutual understanding.
It starts with loving and accepting yourself.
You can not value someone else when you dont value and appreciate yourself.
i agree with him. i never sleep with my husband, until he married me. and our marriage was very successful. we've been married for 36 1/2 years and kept our vows.
Amazing
Godsent marriage
You are blessed
Did you kiss?
As a woman, I appreciate the honesty in this conversation. I see social media causes a lot of FOMO in both men & women; people are constantly seeking more satisfaction outside of the day-to-day due to scrolling the highlight reel on Instagram.
Love this order of dating: Admiration, connection, commitment, compatibility 2:15:22
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discussing peacefully after healing / recovery instead of screaming . That's a very good point.
Self worth!! Value your life and what makes you happy!! The rest will come to you. 🙏
Love how Lewis takes notes. He wants this information as we do. Really like this guy! I was meant to find this channel now. So helpful and enlightening. 🙏🏼
Always trying to learn and remember so I can apply!
@@lewishowes Yes! And was there a specific video where you talked about the red thread of fate?
I want to recommend you to a man who help me get my ex back
Whatsap......
Agreed Lewis is awesome! He has that child-like curiosity. It's so intriguing and fun to watch and listen to. Thanks Lewis!
👏🏼 Wish this information had been available when I was younger. Love the analogy of giving the code to the phone. So refreshing! Thank you!
I love the part of Esther talking about repair in small ways. We do it by offering a cup of coffee or really we always repair thru our pets. When we have a disagreement, we almost come to the other with some cute thing that our pets are doing or have done that drives the other one to either decide to get over it and participate in the cuteness or extend the fight. The cuteness almost always wins. And when it doesn’t , it’s a sign to the other that the breach was slightly bigger and we need to take notice and try not to hurt each other in that way or speech.
Peace is the compass. Amazing... men heal or inflect pain. Such words of wisdom. This guy and his book should be shared the world over.
👍
It will never work when you are dealing with narcissist
Of course it works, because if you follow this advice you'll take time to get to know yourself and figure out what you want. And you'll also take the time to get to know someone. That alone will cause you to sort out people who aren't good for you in the first place.
And yes, narcissistic abuse can arise without showing itself from the start - I've been through that myself. But the more you know about yourself and about what you want, the better, because you'll notice narcissistic behaviour easier that way and you might be able to get away before it's getting worse. In my case, I dated one narcissist, and that was a life lesson. Since then, I met a few people who also showed similar behaviour, but the difference was that I didn't rush into the relationship or even into sleeping with them, so I was able to pull the safety line before things could get downhill again.
Taking time is the best thing one can do in dating.
Yes plenty of information about narsissits On utube and the red flags so you don't go in too deep or avoid this type of person
@@Manullus so right there
Keep your standards and boundaries. Holding fast to your boundaries will cause the wrong men to fall away. Narcissists do not like boundaries. They will aways test and push the boundary. Once you see that a man does not care about your boundary, a healthy woman would lose interest. I am not attracted to a man who does not care about about the fact that he is making me feel uncomfortable by pushing or ignoring a boundary. This is one way to avoid a narc. Also, if he cannot hold accountability, if he deflects responsibility, cannot apologize, this is another sign.
@@Manullus went through a narcissistic 9 years marriage too and i know not every red flag u have to run from some can be fixed but i went through 1.5 years of therapy and its been 4 years and still see a few red flags and i get so scared i run...it was a painful divorce..dont even know if i ran from a good man.
1:22:40 “taking responsibility is the ultimate freedom” … this is what Jordan Peterson also says. It is so simple and elegant
Such wisdom here!! As a woman it’s soooo great to hear a man awake, reflecting on how lust damages relationships, and sharing about how to really love!! Wow! Love this:) Many women don’t want to be lusted after, it makes us feel used and objectified.
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
A big problem is the hoes with no moral compass dragging good men out of their marriages and destroying their homes
Spiritual & physical discipline is a key to a happy life. Managing lust & the art of manipulation for selfishness keeps you focused. You have to stand firm in what you will accept & what will not be tolerated. Love & Peace .
Well said @kimberley Randolph
Life isn't simple. You cannot assure anything. You have to accept that not everything will go as you imagine or like.
A healthy relationship is a consequence of the union of two mature, life smart healthy people...Most people are on survival mode...physically and mentally sick...and they want to have a healthy relationship ...🤣Good luck!
I truly believe, and I speak for myself only, that when you find “the one”, there will no words for an explanation to describe the feeling, you just have this knowing the person is your person by what you feel when you are with him/her - when the connection is right, you feel a sense of peacefulness, harmony, passion, love, comfort.. and just feel a sense of home in that person.🥰 I do feel like I’ve found my person because I feel all of this and just feel a very strong, intense connection with him that I’ve never felt with anyone else before, BUT it is just not the right timing to be with them; right person, wrong time.💛🕊💞
I feel this so deeply. Do you still feel the same about this person a year later? Have they come around?
As far as looking at someone as an individual, I have found it helpful to imagine them as a child.
Wow I just had an epiphany
Before you do anything, hit that like button. Lewis deserves it. ALWAYS solid content.
I think Online dating during the pandemic is the best possible way to get to know a person, if both parties are truthful...
Wow.. Lead with love instead of lust. In my prayer daily I have asked for peace! This now makes so much sense. Peace be Still!
Thank you for your voice .Talking about not sexualizing women as objects. This is the topic I talk about often because my daughter was raped by 4 males and a photo taken of her assault and shared everywhere. If she was not seen as an object to conquer that night she would not be dead at 17. We need more men talking about these important topic.
Oh that is terrible. I can't imagine the suffering you must have felt.
Wow I am so sorry 😣 that is just awful I pray for your strength and healing ❤️🩹
So sorry your daughter had this horrific act happen to her 😭and for your pain and sorrow
❤️Sending you Love and may Peace enter your soul
So sorry for your loss💔Hope you will find peace🌈
@@florentinalaura7994 I have found peace.Thank you
be the person you think and feel your soulmate deserves
this is great
I’m still trying to find mine , someday I will and it will be a blessing for me
Success is inner wealth especially for relationships. Truth!
He was going to leave anyway TRUTH SPEAKS
Thank you for sharing this. His advice at 10 minutes and 30 seconds is so refreshing to me because I have honestly just wanted to give up after dating so many men who were dishonest and misleading. To hear him say the sentence “humanize her“ is exactly what I needed to hear and teach . This guy is magic to my ears. It gives me hope in a very chaotic world .
The fact that "humanize her" needs to be taught shows just how far our culture has fallen. Thanks to TV media sexualized movies dancing programming. Salacious and base movies like American Pie really planted evil in the minds of young men. Women are more than body parts...duh!!!!!!!
boredom is insanity i can be bymyself forever and be happy
I’ve listened to so many relationship advice videos. This is up there in the top tier Intelligent nurturing humans. I feel you all really care . Excited to share your knowledge to grow and thrive . You did great , thank you.
I've found myself....why haven't I've attracted my soul mate yet?🤔
Patience is a virtue🤷🏾♀️
He hasn’t found himself yet ♥️💕
I love listen to it. Most guys are not so mature in thinking
This may have been said already but ALL of this only works if you’re with the right partner I instinctively did a lot of this with the last person I was with, engaged to be married but the vulnerability was seen as weakness as described. having a supportive partner that’s interested in growing together is the key to make any one of these findings work. best wishes ! as we are all here trying to better our lives
Love passion trust communication and if you find your soulmate you will know its so poweful in all its ways.Everyday it gets stronger! And you walk with butterflies in your stomach everyday its amazing! Your soulmate is out there. And to find your soulmate you will feel it and I mean it you will feel it because its powerful .
Very true 👍
Healing time does depend on the person. I have dated men who were not healed after a divorce 10 years later. And some who were able to heal within 6 months after they divorced. Its very specific to the individual.
Thank you, Lewis. I watch your videos as I lay in bed and fall asleep and honestly it changes my perspective in a positive way
Hopefully you'll meet the girl of your dreams. Life is so short. Then, it's a reality that never ends. 😎✌🏽
Exactly. Love! When we love we know why that person, not the other. When there are doubts, it comes back to us, do we truly love this person, or not? The rest is just noise. 🤭🌹🌹 Beautiful subject, awesome guest Mr. Howes. 🌹😊
1:11 by being others you learn who you are
wow! changed the way I'm looking at relationships...
I waited for love and when I found him it was out of this world, and still is.
I really needed this, my marriage is on the cusp of divorce...I don’t want too, because I truly love my W.I.F.E. (Where I find encouragement)! I’m Praying that our marriage and relationship gets restored to a better place!
hello dear do you need any help I can help you out it worked for me WhatsApp me let's chat better.
Message me on WhatsApp
+ 1 ( 2 1 3 ) 9 9 2 7 9 3 7
Prayer absolutely does work..Praying you both will realize how much you have to lose & value each other!
That's where the saying each day is a gift so when you wake up if you wake up and you're blessed with the gift of a new day, live it to your fullest every minute because even in that gift you never know from one minute to the next if it is your last
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Honesty is key as it builds trust. Meet someone 10 years ago got together didn't sleep with him immediately. Than the confusion set in, so gave him space to date other women the rule for me was you can date other women just don't come to me to get what you can't get from other women while your playing around. I knew he would be back for good theirs only one of me. We are together better than ever our relationship is trusting, playful respectful we gave it time to grow so worth it. 💖
I love the first guest talking, amazing explainations
Love yourself and you will attract love
I like his practical approach and clarity on this. The success of everything begins with intent , planning, determination , principled and commitment. So mutual connection is expedient, it would promote selflessness, teamwork and tolerance.
Stay blessed 🙏
As a (heterosexual) female, I've had long term relationships with guys where sex (as in intercourse, not other forms of physical intimacy) wasn't even an option because they were being abstinent until marriage. So it was never even an issue. Premarital sex can't even happen if the GUY isn't going to do it. We need to be training the girls AND the guys in the benefits of not sleeping around, waiting in a monogamous relationship or until marriage. It's absurd to be in a culture where abstinence isn't even an expected option or desire from GUYS, where it's all on the girl to (try to) enforce whether it's going to happen or not. It has so many benefits for BOTH people while dating (never have to worry about unwanted / unplanned pregnancy, stds, etc.). And there are plenty of other ways to be physically intimate.
this isn't going to happen, hookup culture is nowadays thing. it needs to change, but it won't.
@@WoodmanTiller if it’s a nowadays thing... it too shall past...
it’s a self-control thing.
Lori G you are brilliant..you mute the pain...you mute the joy. As a drug and alcohol counsellor everything Lori says rings true
So what are those 9 signs? I watched the video but it's all so general and just chitchat
Im on minute 7 and so far first it peace 🤷🏻♀️
Regarding expectations, no one should have expectations that is never wise that will cause disappointment
Truth is beautiful! Thank you guys for so much wisdom and courage to speak the truth.
26 years . We are not perfect but man we have been threw life stuff most would curl up and die from . We are still alive and ticking.
I love Esther the way she explained everything so clear and very specific I really want to watch over and over again I have a lot to learn in her.i like this video so much.
The lady at 1 hour and 16 minutes is so awesome can't have a great life without great relationship with people of course you need to take care of yourself but our life is made up in the moments with special people in our lives
Thanks for being here!
This 3 hours gave me healing. Thank you a lot ❤
This information is for all relationships. My relationship with myself is better with this advice, and with my friends.
Soul mate makes you forget all your stress and focus on your goals.no lust there
Differences are great they open you up to things you wouldn't normally experience
Lewis, I'm just at your interview with Lori Gottlieb. Love these first two interviews, and partly because of your own aliveness and animation. I had the thought: It takes a lot to get to that state, so to hear about your own story and how you want through it is inspiring.
Definitely change the title…the theme is about resolving issues to have a healthy love relationship
I love Lewis, he really knows about women’s feelings 😘🌺❤️
After 40 years , 3 kids and 4 grandkids. I give myself permission to granded my wishing. I always believe marriage must be more then love and desires... honest, respect, caring for each other, protection and share.
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What about love? love is supposed to make the world go round. Love is what makes the happiest songs and love is what makes the saddest songs. Personally, I feel we analyze things too much. So much confusing, conflicting info. No relationship can come with an instruction manual. Can't we just be spontaneous, fall in love, elope, be happy? And if got the wrong guy or girl, yeah, let's get drunk and bitch about them and cry with our BFFs.
And if we get the right person? then love again is what makes the world go round. This is real life. We are not AI. We are people. Gifted or flawed but humans!
It is why I absolutely love Esther Perel. She keeps it real.
You're alive but not living. Absolutely how I felt two weeks ago. Now I am living. It is amazing.
Happy to hear this :)
*Sometimes you just KNOW* 🙏
I might be completely wrong though 😅
Right. Thought the same a few times here and "knew" but apparently thought wrong because that blew up like a tornado 🌪️ lol
@VICC acc wow, that’s very beautifully said! 🙏❤️
@VICC acc you don't have a clue your friends are not your soulmate your family is your family. Other people can hurt you or take advantage of you. Just like this guy in this video he doesn't know he is actually clueless. He just believes he thinks he knows some secrets about women to sell a book.
Yeah - you might be attracted temporarily or on just a sexual level but then you don't have to act on it just because you are. If we sense someone's wrong for us long term, we should move on as soon as we're aware of that.
@VICC acc How is everyone our soul mate?
My appreciation💕
I feel the trouble comes from the words "the one" and "the right one"..
10:10 - The first speaker Devon Franklin: wow, treat women as human beings not sexual commodities. It's 2021. How does this extremely basic concept have to be repeated over and over again? Edit: the first speaker is Devon Franklin - I added that to the first sentence.
It has to be repeated over and over again until everyone gets it. You can't expect decades of toxic masculinity that thought generations of men how they supposedly should be to disappear over night. From a man's point of view: this shit sits deeeeep in our culture and only recently we've started to question that bs. It will get better and it will change our society for the better, I'm sure - but like any change this will take time.
@@Manullus it has to be repeated over and over again: good people do good and treat others with basic humanity and bad people don't. But bad people will try to blame their behavior on everything and everyone except themselves so they don't have to take responsibility.
Because it is repeated ad nauseam.
I would also ad: "How about treating men than more than an ATM with a pulse?"
@@Project2013B : Matt has said something else that's also common sense on that point: a woman who does that wasn't raised right and or has (wrongly) internalized that from the culture, or something else equally backwards. Guys shouldnt put up with that and date only women who are independent, self responsible adults who of course pay their share. But there's kind of that tradition culturally that the guy pays at least on the first date, but the woman can offer and AT LEAST pay the tip or her side. I had a relationship once where we struggled with what to do with that as it's nice to be treated to stuff. So we took turns planning dates and taking each other out and paying for it - unless it was clearly more pricey than normal and we'd both pay our share.
One really stupid problem in society / culture though still, is the really old fashioned outdated idea / fantasy that if a woman is smart (much less) attractive enough, she can / should find a guy rich enough that if they marry, she doesn't even have to work if she doesn't want to and/or that would be a better lifestyle for the couple. And if the guy's interested and responsible enough, he'll earn enough to provide that and a high standard of living whether they have kids or not but definitely if they have kids so she can stay home and raise the kids. And to be honest, the "who's gonna ing to care for the kids" question is a real one in terms of staying home, and finances, etc. But that might be a weird / messed up disfunctionall kind of "ideal" women are supposed to have in looking for a mate that still persists. And really attractive women are almost always expected to have lots of choices in guys if all things are being equal, you equally like a bunch of interested guys, choose the guy you like who ALSO has the most money? That's an old perception / misperception to have as a dating goal too but that also still exists. There are a whole bunch of weird things like that but, basically, unless the guy clearly genuinely wants to (with no expectations or pressure to repay in kind in other ways) and really can definitely afford it, then the first few dates MIGHT be okay, but the tip should at the very least still be offered by the woman, and if there are any dates beyond the second and third, money needs to be discussed early on by the couple, like two grown, mature, responsible adults - who pays, what's fair, doable, what are the expectations, why etc.
My personal opinion is that the most important thing materially is that whatever it is he has he wants to share it with his s.o. - is he generous or wants to be generous with his resources. But the woman shouldnt expect it or let him pay for everything - again pay your own share. And it's critically important for both parties to have their own livelihood and not be dependent on anyone else much less someone they're dating. I also think this applies to marriage (a good divorce is where both people end up materially not missing anything or worse off because they can both individually afford what they need and want).
But in marriages with kids, the whole "who pays" thing can take on a very different, joint finances practical aspect, that has to be discussed and figured out by individual couples when theyre dating - if they're serious about each other as a souse or life partner or if they could be, what do they want and why, concerning who works, to have kids, to both work, stay home then go back to work, etc.
Anyone knows who the first one was?
You know who your “Soul Mate” is?
-Goooo look in the mirror, & say “You are my Soul Mate!” 😉
LOVE FIGHTS for all relationships when they are in trouble so they don't end. A house divided WILL NOT make it. If they walk away easy, they never valued you. It was all about them. It doesn't matter what type it is (friends, family, marriage, dating). If they walk away easy, it was NEVER love. It was self centered and prideful. When you caught on and exposed it, they left. On the flip side, don't fight for an abusive or toxic relationship. It can make you sick, raise your cortisol level and put you in the hospital or even get diseases from the stress alone. Start having strong boundaries and value yourself. #SHARE
Literally just dealt with this.. My ex had all the signs of a narcissist so I finally called him out on his lack of empathy and the way he had been invalidating my feelings.. I wasn't a bit surprised when he lashed out at me and broke things off. Do not be a doormat, don't compromise your boundaries, and NEVER let anyone tell you that you're too sensitive.
Oh wowwww..your right about it all and my x was a narc borderline personality and compulsive Lier and abuser...he broke my back and almost my neck....
@@lisacranmer8005 Because this has happened to me and it happened and I was with someone and that person was really psychopathic and controlling spying, pressurizing it was just that and taking privacy in your hands forever Person really narcissistic. today i am happy alone..
@@destineehiatt2016 We can get everything in our life but finding a true partner is probably very difficult in this life and it is difficult in this world to find a partner who does not control us, who does not spy on us, who controls our thoughts well. Show us the one who gives us love, with whom we feel safe, who gives us all our respect, and there are very few people in this world who behave so well who don't do such bad things. Together because in today's world man has become the enemy of man and this is the biggest problem in love, in friendship, in marriage, in marriage, no matter what the relationship is, but if your partner forces you. tries to control you tries to spy on you so I don't know the message says that partner is not from God but that partner in your life is from the devil
Be awesome to yourself. The rest will follow❤
I loved that peace in the relationship then only go forward. Wow…
Thanks for sharing this wonderful insight 😊
You're welcome🧡
@Lewis - I am a person who is "dead inside". A stranger at a party said it to me without even having spoken to me. This all comes down to Cluster B personalities from Narcissistic parenting. The needs of us have not been met. I'm a covert borderline who just got out of a very toxic relationship with a Narcissist. Richard Grannon has an emotional literacy test. It's for CPTSD. He has a 30 day bootcamp to teach people how to feel their emotions and not over react. So does Lisa Romano.
Both male and female energies do the same thing until Self Love is accomplished 👋.... Who really taught us how to love... the TV?.... These lessons come from within as we learn to find true love within...This is why we were directed to a God in the sky... something outside of ourselves to keep us from knowing what power we have within💯 .There are consequences for these type of behaviors especially in the aspect of abusing people....however everyone came to learn different lessons individually.... Not everyone is meant to be put in a prison of marriage or a prison of relationship... but at the same time one must learn that they have been programmed to look for love in all the wrong places.... because love is already inside of Us.... As Whitney Houston sang... The Greatest Love of is inside of Us... learning to love Ourself is the Greatest Love and when We get to this point...we will definitely know how to love and care for others👋 until we accomplish this task.... We will not know how to treat others properly💯.....and until we find Ourselves and be happy with Ourself...we will not be happy with another individual...and continue to judge them as They accomplished their own individual learning experiences necessary for their growth. It's that simple👍 Know ThySelf.... Know Inner Guidance or Energy within or whatever you want to label it as.... Spirit... Soul ...Source or Infinite Intelligence.... It's all within us.... No need to look on the other outside until we get the Inside together.....and when we get to this point we will attract people with similar behaviors.... Are they going to stay? We don't know.... But we must know We will always be in our own life......We don't even know if that's how life is supposed to be trying to corral others to be in relationships of marriages.... That's what we were told.... So live life without hurting others or abusing others and you will have a great life 🙏 Peace and LOVE 💯🎁
finding your soulmate or for your soulmate to be revealed to you by the higher power starts with working on yourself and become whole first, so if there's issues like that, and not being able to talk to that person... if it doesn't flow easily than that's not the relationship god picked for you. thats a relationship the person put themself in. there for that not you soulmate. and to be whole is not to put yourselves in relationship rather than being okay waiting for god to reveal your soulmate, and continue working on yourself to get whole.
We are a spiritual being having a human experience
@36:40 This is a great question!
Thank you Lewis for always going out of your way to have great guest who are some of the most intelligent people of our day.
And never hesitating to take things a little further and asking more questions to help your viewers understand or realize with the right information they can finally be free from their prison, delivered from the chains of yesterday.. and that they can now walk into their future healed & free.. just like anyone else with the right tools or the right perspective we can all learn to live life fully authentically. 💛
I'm going through a divorce a few month after covid pandemic started. I think COVID really impacts everyone and staying home together 24)7 makes it become boring and see every little things the other person do or say and it annoys you in the things you don't like and if someone lose a job they take it out on the other person and it becomes a big problem. Every relationship needs space to appreciate the person you love. This is my perspective
Lewis Howes thank you for your hard work and have a profitable day, learning about oneself, the energy the vibration
This was a wonderful combination. It motivated me to get 3 books for next year Lewis's School of greatness including. :) Lewis really makes great interviews!
Love your shows Louis. I always pray for your success. May Almighty God bless you always.
You asked great questions👏 Now m more clear. It's important to be with someone who have same core values, mindset & Mission.
Follow your intuition, always gets you to the right direction. Peace and happiness. 💟💟
Loved the first interview! I thought he was in touch and connected. That was nice to listen to, very close to the emperor energy!
What was his name?
Devon Frankin… full circle today I saw that he is in the process of getting a divorce? Wondering in retrospect if what he was saying then resonates with him today?
My mom said men and marriage are some of the smallest parts in life like sesame and beans… there will be wasting of energy to try to ensure the relationship lasts but instead, we should put our energy mostly on ourselves, so that we can handle life no matter what happens. She divorced twice and she s happily planning to remarry soon, but my mom is very independent and her confidence about herself and life.
This vid came on randomly after another video I was watching and I couldn’t turn away. Such good transparent conversations. I really enjoy and benefit from you. Thank you.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
WOW TY I DON'T FEEL SO BAD NOW BY NOT GIVING MY BODY WHICH IS THE MOST PRECIOUS PART OF MYSELF!! Although does cause a very lonely life!
By knowing your natal chart, you can know when love will come into your life. You can find your best foot to be brought forward, which makes you shine and then love finds you quickly.
I value a man who can open up his emotional side I want a man to feel safe with me and know that I would never judge them.
GOD ALMIGHTY is my soul mate!!😘😘🇺🇸🇺🇸🤗🙏👣👣people are okay certain ones.
I agree ☝️
You have to make sure words match actions
I have experienced with men telling me there plans of moving out of state or the area and then they wonder why I stop contacting them. If they're moving why would I waste me time. Look for the lil red flags.
Your there to enrich each other's life respecting each other's independence knowing there will be different point's of view it comes back to worth respect and love to yourself first then master those values together 💚
They need to teach all this in 9th grade on through 12th at least, so many in bad childhoods could avoid so many bad choices if they had basic knowledge about how we heal from emotional trauma and neglect and how we can learn to value and love ourselves, why we really need to for our future happiness as well as the happiness of any future children we may have. We can and should learn how to value ourselves no matter how others may have treated us.
I think a guy that isn't trying to sleep with you, but rather trying to get to know you, is a much better way to go.
WOW!! what a great talk! All men should listen to this video, all the guys ! This man is exceptionally wise even though he speaks with common sense, it's incredible a man can be above sex as I never meet any! Thank you for restoring my FAITH. 💗💗
Happy to hear this :)