Preferences in Dating Gotta Go? Collab with

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  • Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024

Комментарии • 102

  • @MirrorSurfer
    @MirrorSurfer Год назад +28

    Ms.Vixen has a pungent point. Abolishing a word will do little to dismantle white supremacy but figuring out why you have inner biases and working to deconstruct them is the best course of action. Like the Buddha says "change comes from within."

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +4

      Yes, Ms.Vixen has a good point! So does Foreign Man.

  • @NisaTye248
    @NisaTye248 Год назад +12

    Ooooh not the word "Exotical" its a low key dehumanising, its not even a compliment🙄.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +5

      It’s not. I wish more folks within the community realize that… Shit, everyone should realize it is not a compliment😭

  • @AlkisGD
    @AlkisGD Год назад +13

    42:46 - I don't think I'd mind waking up in the morning looking like Tirrrb, but I get what the author is saying. My tiny, all-white Greek town would most likely discriminate against me in all sorts of ways in that scenario.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +9

      Oh wow, thank you for sharing, Alkis. I appreciate your honesty. It’s good to think about it, but not in a self-hating way if you get what I’m saying.

  • @Fabsocialism
    @Fabsocialism Год назад +20

    Love the interviews!

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      Thank you again, Teanna! You all did a splendid job❤️!

  • @SPONK223
    @SPONK223 Год назад +24

    Gotta love when a guy will break up with a girl for the most unhinged reason and then just say “it’s my personal preference”

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +10

      Yes… It’s so pathetic😭

    • @xanv8051
      @xanv8051 Год назад

      wanted someone hotter, sucks they can't just say whatever what i want is more attractive, cope

    • @SPONK223
      @SPONK223 Год назад +5

      @@xanv8051 what

  • @janaynmelis5250
    @janaynmelis5250 Год назад +25

    The word should definitely be retired. People should examine why they are attracted to certain types of Black people, but it's not okay to discriminate against certain types of black people and openly denigrate them. There seems to be a preference of successful Black men to date lighter skinned Black women or non Black women.

    • @manovrsb
      @manovrsb Год назад

      Thank colonialism , pushing black people into poor deprived areas where they believed the colour of their skin makes better living inaccessible. This is why many black grew up with social trauma as to think dating/marrying someone of lighter complexion/white will be close to success as those are who we see in high society and posters.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +8

      Exactly, Janayn. I agree with you💯!

    • @doll.ov.poetrii4682
      @doll.ov.poetrii4682 Год назад +9

      It's like pulling teeth to get them to admit that they suffer from a color complex (colorism), but many do.

  • @kianalaboriel6595
    @kianalaboriel6595 Год назад +28

    I am going to be honest. I used the word preference but not to use it in a bad way Lmao. However, now that I watch the video I understand why that word is offensive. As for the video overall, the creators did a great job answering these questions and you did a good job creating the video. I feel like social media plays a big part on how folks can be anti black or even a colorist. Society sucks 🤥 LMAO
    PS: my shelf is cute 😭✨❤️

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +7

      Thank you sista! Thank you for hearing us out and seeing a different perspective. I wished the person that was commenting random things without watching the full video listened to the whole video🙃… Also, we did a great job building the shelves🤣!

    • @kianalaboriel6595
      @kianalaboriel6595 Год назад +5

      @@JulianSteve me and that person can fight tbh blowing mines typing long paragraphs 😂 likeeeee

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +4

      @@kianalaboriel6595 😂😂😂😂‼️

  • @Kevin-rg3yc
    @Kevin-rg3yc Год назад +22

    This is such an amazing video I’m proud of Julian of you improving your talent keep it up ❤️👍🏿

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +7

      Thank you so much, Kevin🥲🙌🏾!

  • @MsVixen
    @MsVixen Год назад +17

    This was great! Thanks for having me on 🖤🖤

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +5

      Thank you again Queen! You did a great job🥹!

  • @OmuZero
    @OmuZero Год назад +5

    We be selecting types of people like our favorite ice cream, we're definitely more dimensional that as people

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +5

      For real lol! It’s bad out here😭!

  • @Rreinholdt
    @Rreinholdt Год назад +11

    Thank you for your work on this video and thank you to everyone involved in the making of or appearing in this! Very much appreciated this existing.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +5

      Thank you for this comment. It made me smiled a lot🥹❤️!

  • @BooksandLooksTV
    @BooksandLooksTV Год назад +16

    First 👏🏾👀

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +4

      I hope you like our video. Also, I cut out my original concluding statement after hearing everyone’s opinion on the final question😭

    • @khle7345
      @khle7345 Год назад +4

      Hi😊

  • @thevictoriaarzushow
    @thevictoriaarzushow Год назад +10

    We have to examine the Willie Lynch Theory

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +4

      Oh yes! I need to look into that again. I heard of his work before.

    • @productioninquiry8937
      @productioninquiry8937 Год назад +2

      The validity and accuracy of that letter as an actual and legitimate historical document is highly questionable.

    • @angelinaoliver5587
      @angelinaoliver5587 Год назад +2

      @@productioninquiry8937 how so? Would you have any links or site so I can go read more about this?

    • @productioninquiry8937
      @productioninquiry8937 Год назад +1

      @@angelinaoliver5587 Start with Wikipedia and then perform a Google search. There are historical inaccuracies in the text.

  • @zoefelix6065
    @zoefelix6065 Год назад +4

    Thank you for having me!

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +2

      Thank you for being apart of the conversation, Zoe! You did a splendid job❤️!

  • @thevictoriaarzushow
    @thevictoriaarzushow Год назад +23

    This subject is tough

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +11

      It is. It took a month to prepare this video. Part II is going to be tougher😅

    • @c0mm0ndrgg
      @c0mm0ndrgg Год назад +1

      It’s really not it’s pretty simple. Ppl just act dense

    • @msliberated3899
      @msliberated3899 Год назад

      @@c0mm0ndrgg 😂EXACTLY! Simply delusional liars

  • @AlkisGD
    @AlkisGD Год назад +6

    51:07 - This. 100% this.

  • @user-qb1nw1zi3f
    @user-qb1nw1zi3f Год назад +15

    Sure, let's just call it requirements. Preference makes it sound optional or up for debate. It's not. Stop trying to use politics to manipulate people into bed with you. It's so gross and pathetic.

  • @oreganothankyou
    @oreganothankyou Год назад +9

    I love how you incorporated so many different voices and perspectives!

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      Thank you! This made the video more fun and informative. The topic is complex, so hearing different perspectives from the Black community helps✊🏾💯

  • @FilipinaWifeAbroad
    @FilipinaWifeAbroad Год назад +3

    Different opinion and insights from different vloggers discussing about this issue, “ preference” is somewhat a good way to let your viewers decide what their stance is over this matter. I would like to support most of the opinion. Preference is unjust and a real discrimination. This makes me question even myself if I still belong to a right community or not, lots of pressure, no wonder mental illness these days is rampant and it attacks youngsters, due to social media as well. I’m curious what else I can learn from your channel , your choice of topics is smart.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +2

      Thank you so much! I enjoyed reading your feedback. It’s appreciated🥹!

  • @deadlynn7774
    @deadlynn7774 Год назад

    I’m just finding your channel and you’re talking about all the topics I wish more ppl would talk about. You are great seriously!

  • @NisaTye248
    @NisaTye248 Год назад +6

    Hey, the books n looks tv and Julian Steve crossover fanily happened😊, love you guys' content.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +2

      Thank you so much, Sade🥹❤️!

  • @triedxtrue
    @triedxtrue Год назад +5

    i really appreciate the distinction and discussion of in-group preference vs. exclusionary preference. there’s safety, community & understanding in partnering someone in the same marginalized group/s that is invaluable to some. personally, i don’t know if i could ever date a cis and/or able bodied neurotypical person.
    luckily i don’t have to care bc i’m in a committed T4T relationship w another disabled person 👏🏼

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      Thank you so much, Lee! I appreciate your feedback and congratulations on your relationship. It’s good you both can relate to each other and genuinely care for one another❤️!

  • @kat4525
    @kat4525 Год назад +8

    this mans channel deserves to blow up, frfr. subscribed.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +2

      Thank you so much, Katerino❤️!

  • @angelinaoliver5587
    @angelinaoliver5587 Год назад +7

    Your content and channel overall is definitely top tier👌🏾I pray your channel grows let’s get you to a million❤️🎉🎉

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      Thank you so much, Angelina. For now, I want to get myself to 3K subs lol😂!

  • @Jackk225
    @Jackk225 Год назад +5

    I love how many different people’s perspectives you’re able to get here!

  • @shekwaga
    @shekwaga Год назад +6

    The term is very euphemistic because it distances everyone from the self-hate underneath.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      You worded this pretty well. I am not sure if you agree that the word “preference” is bad or not😭

    • @shekwaga
      @shekwaga Год назад +3

      @Julian Steve I personally don't like it because it is puts a blanket over our colorism and our need to have proximity to whiteness.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +2

      @@shekwaga Copy! We think a like. Of course, at the concluding statement of the video, I shifted my perspective a bit on the “preference” term being abolished in dating🫡.

  • @BooksandLooksTV
    @BooksandLooksTV Год назад +7

    “You already know my name” 😂

  • @johniebaltimore
    @johniebaltimore Год назад +3

    And another one in the words of DJ Khaled. Great video sir. You and all the interview guests were excellent and provided great insight on this hot topic. I’m with you. I’ve retired using the word “preference” when it comes to dating. Thank you for your inclusion of Black LGBT couples in your pic collages. It’s so appreciated.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      Johnieeeeeeee! Sorry I am now responding back to you. I been busy and trying to avoid the comments😂! It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. A lot of genuine feedback. Also, thank you! I wanted to make sure I included everyone in the community🙆🏾‍♂️!

    • @johniebaltimore
      @johniebaltimore Год назад +1

      @@JulianSteve Hello Mr. Julian. I understand. Congratulations on the success of your video. I’m glad it’s sparking a lot of discussion. I know how overwhelming the comments can be especially after your video discussing Anitta lol I pray all is well. Be blessed 🙏🏿

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +2

      @@johniebaltimore Oh yes, the Anitta fans. Never forget man lol😂! Same to you, Johnie. Have a good night🙏🏾!

  • @CelineFerocious
    @CelineFerocious Год назад

    Wooooo like 300! Sorry I’m late to the party, I’ve been super busy and wanted to make sure I made time for this one!

    • @CelineFerocious
      @CelineFerocious Год назад

      I love the variety of people you have speaking about this topic, getting all different view points and explanations and examples.

    • @CelineFerocious
      @CelineFerocious Год назад

      Mmm the “who hurt you” comment is such a good point.

    • @CelineFerocious
      @CelineFerocious Год назад

      Peace mi gente thanks so much for sharing this ✌️

  • @fae3821
    @fae3821 Год назад

    People should stop using the word preference to insult & disparage others. Stop using preference to try to disguise anti-blackness. Use it for stuff like drinks or something. For example, I like hot chocolate but I prefer coffee on cold days.

  • @shun9862
    @shun9862 Год назад +3

    🎯👀

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      Thank you for the support🥹!

    • @shun9862
      @shun9862 Год назад +1

      @@JulianSteve no thank you for the great content ,please keep it up.🍽

  • @shinyduke1791
    @shinyduke1791 Год назад +7

    Want to say this is an important video and its important you made it.
    Honestly though I struggle to see how you can admit those biases and not hate yourself though. As in soeaking from experience, does that mean you hate the mother you came from? If so whats next? It becomes a fundamental faiking on the individual part.
    I do highlight fab point about being in a white supremacist culture not being your fault. That kind of grace would logically be the answer. Itbjust doesnt feel right after all this to be essentially a self hatujg traitor to your own skin

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +7

      I agree with you. Fab (Teanna) did a great job with being nuanced about why some folks in the community are hating themselves to the point it’s unbearable. Like Queen said, leaving folks behind is okay too if you cannot handle them. You gotta put yourself first, even if it’s family, or close friends🤷🏾‍♂️💯

    • @shinyduke1791
      @shinyduke1791 Год назад +3

      ​@@JulianSteve I think we have a misunderstanding. Not saying this from the perspective of someone who dealt with people like this but someone trying to unpack that themselves. Never been to be point where I talk down about black women openly or declare one race or ethnicity superior but if who you desire is a reflection of who you feel deserves love how does one forgive and move on from that without self hate. To wholesale accept the arguments presented on here kinda makes the efforts to want to unpack that feel futile cause you feel defective. Others of your kin where able to fight against that and naturally go where they were supposed to go.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +4

      @@shinyduke1791 Ohhhh I get what you’re saying. That’s a deep thought for sure😭!

  • @nfsiiihp
    @nfsiiihp Год назад +4

    Imo we NEED to.

  • @NostalgicPocket
    @NostalgicPocket Год назад

    👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @8lec_R
    @8lec_R Год назад +2

    Great video thx

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      No problem! Thank you for the feedback🙏🏾!

  • @wall91nutz
    @wall91nutz Год назад

    Interesting video

  • @samsprague3158
    @samsprague3158 Год назад +2

    Good stuff man

  • @quorraquar2677
    @quorraquar2677 Год назад +3

    💜💜💜

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +3

      Thank you, Quorra Quar🥹❤️!

  • @lisah8438
    @lisah8438 Год назад

    I hate the word preference. Some people don't have a preference, they just date who they want to date. Some people don't discriminate who they date.

  • @theultimateartist4153
    @theultimateartist4153 Год назад +6

    Did you have a stroke?

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve  Год назад +7

      No… You do know that when someone has a script that is not memorized 100%, they take their time delivering the message? That’s me half of the time. I enjoy taking my time talking, especially in my videos that are heavily scripted. If you do not like that, you can speed up the video, or leave. It’s that simple🤷🏾‍♂️
      Edited: I am rewatching this video and within the first five minutes I did a great job with my delivery. I am not taking your “genuine comment” literally. I am proud of how far I have come with my content. This is who I am on camera. Have a good one!

    • @kianalaboriel6595
      @kianalaboriel6595 Год назад

      You thought what you said was funny? Stop being a troll idiot LMFAO you talking so much yet got no profile picture

    • @kianalaboriel6595
      @kianalaboriel6595 Год назад

      Behind that fake profile of yours 😂 you seem like you eat poop Lmao likeeeee go somewhere troll with your ignorant comment

  • @tribecalledquest4188
    @tribecalledquest4188 Год назад +2

    Stop it. Absolutely not. We are human and we all have references. Dark skin black woman always say they want there "dark chocolate" kings and rarely go after lightskin men. And darkskin men step over darkskin women to chase lightskin, Latina or white women. It is what it is. The term preference isn't the problem, it the people and their conditioning. Everyone has their preferences, black, whites, Asians, Indians, and so on. Let's stop being so hypersensitive and just move on. We have bigger fish to fry socially speaking