In Sweden you have paid parental leave (80% of your income) for 480 days after birth for each child. The father in also gets 12 paid days when the baby is born, to help out. Going back to work after 2 weeks sounds crazy. Soo hard and stressful for everyone. 😭
Not exactly fairness because she'll be the one giving birth and she'll have to take care of the baby alone while recovering from labour, while he didn't had to recover from labour
@Maria She clearly has family she can fall back on so she won’t be completely alone in the aftermath of giving birth. She has her mother, and clearly the father’s family will be big time support system for her as well.
That husband is SERIOUSLY messed up. When she started talking about the stuff they were told in couples counseling, I thought the husband would finally stop being a tosser, but he didn't.
Name a stay at home mom who is not fat. Stay at home moms suck. You can’t just make family plans to make more money and leave them when you need them most. The family had a comfortable situation and she left a big source of income for a kid which YOU need more money for.
Untrue, but he's unreasonnable about his insecurities. He truly cares about his daughter not being pushed away, and his fears about the step mother favoritizing their soon to be born son is understandable. What isn't is him not aknowledging that his fears are unfounded and come from a place that isn't reality but hurt and/or misplaced understanding of 'fairness'. He seems like someone who has trouble with abandonment and projects it onto his kids, he's scared they may suffer like him and want strictly the same for both kids, which in itself is ok, but is actually very biased and toxic if it comes to a situation like her, in which he wants to control what his wife can or cannot do, how she works and what she does with her relatioships with the kids. He's not able to see outside of his own pov, and it ruins his family for this, and probably his daughter. So that's not that he doesn't care, he's just an idiot, and I hope it will not affect the daughter and future son too much.
@@rosevalety3408 "He truly cares about his daughter not being pushed away". Nope he does not. He made sure that she did not have a stepmom. If that is not being pushed away I do not know what is.
@@rosevalety3408If he cared why would he deny her of a full time mom just cuz she didn't have it at the new kids age. He just feels bad about her childhood and thinks making his child suffer will make up for lizzys suffering
I think he does care about both of his kids, he just feels misunderstood and he’s going about everything the wrong way. The controlling stuff didn’t come out until he felt like the situation was “out of control.” That seems like a fear response. There’s a thing called “self-fulfilling prophecy” and it looks like dude is doing just that to himself. He has forced his insecurities, fears, and worries into becoming reality. It seems like he was able to logically, with his brain, understand the therapist and the train of logic that the wife obviously definitely does love the little girl, but the thing about feelings is that they aren’t rational, especially his abandonment and favoritism feelings. I think he’s really bad at properly expressing and explaining his feelings, and everyone telling him “yeah but that doesn’t make sense because x, y, and z…” makes him feel unheard and not understood. It’s like he can’t wrap his around just giving this all a chance. Like he’s too afraid of what might “go wrong” that he can’t just try letting his wife stay at home so they can see what it looks like, if it works, etc. Now all that being said, I just don’t know what the heck the wife could’ve done differently to make this situation work. She really tried everything she could, and I admire her ability to stick to her guns and maintain the boundaries and expectations she has. What a freakin’ disaster, especially for the little girl and the baby boy.
From his perspective, I can understand why he is mad. It sounds like he agreed to you not being a SAHM to his Daughter but as soon as your Son comes around, you have these 'visions' of a happy family, I can understand where he's coming from but physically pushing her off is too much.
Taking care of a newborn is a lot more demanding than caring for a 4 year old. On one side the 4 year old is old enough for pre-k But a newborn still has to be breast fed and demands more time and attention, so it’s not the same at all
Same, but at the same time her decision to work when it wasn’t necessary for her to stay home means that they would have the ability to set up a nice nest egg in the event that something unexpected happens. But a new born is a major responsibility I’ve recently become an uncle and while my sister was a nurse and worked hard she’s now a stay at home mom because of a combination of factors including that they had plenty of money saved up and also not having people around to try and watch my nephew easily, I live with my parents as I just finished college and we live a good 30 to 40 minutes away which is also in the opposite direction of we’re she worked so my sister is a stay at home mom until either the baby is old enough to attend preschool or they have some sort of option for child care.
This is a good example of someone’s pride getting in the way. He doesn’t want to be wrong in this situation. Anyone can see where the guy is coming from but if it were me and she says all of these facts then I’d try to understand better and not ruin “the best thing that’s happened to me”.
She is clearly showing favouritism she wanted to peraue her career until her kid was born and suddenly she want to be a stay at mom that she never wanted to do for the other kid🙄@@dracosethie
Exactly, and that doesn't just apply to kids either... Each and every one of us have a separate relationship with everyone else we care about. They might influence each other sometimes, like how the breakup in the story lead to his daughter being upset with him. But we can love multiple people without said love for any one of them being diminished. Of course it involves consent, honesty and trust from everyone involved.
being the child of a single father I can understand being concerned about favoritism but wtf. I had to deal with favoritism and neglect because of it, but not once did my almost step mother ever get me up for school or take care of me. I was 5 when she entered the picture and she stayed home for the 1st 6 months after my sister was born. after that she worked part time and her friend babysat while we were in school. It seems like they didn't have that option but they should have compromised. She did everything the way she thought was best but he was completely unreasonable. she could have stayed at home for at least a year and taken care of their son before going back as a part-time worker or they could have compromised on her staying home until he was in pre-k or whatever. His problems were his own and he destroyed their family by being unreasonable. she did have a right to change her mind and he had no right to try to control her, especially telling her to go back to work 2 weeks after giving birth. In that situation I would try to legally adopt Lizzie and get full custody and only give him visitation. It seems like it would be best for the little girl.
Do you understand how custody works? Lizzy isnt biologicaly her child and he hasnt neglected her either, there is not basis for custody even remotly. I am going to take full custody of you becuz apperantly i can randomly get custody of random ppl, curfews at 8pm sharp btw
I don't think she would win full custody, because it's not her biological child and the fatherndoes not neglect her. Also it would be like stealing someones child just because they think they would be better for the child.
dude ur dumb for thinking that way, if lizzie gets taken away from OP’s husband he won’t have anything and that will prolly drive to to suicide jus bc OP is a horrible wife dosent mean the the husband should lose his daughter
In the original story, the husband consented to have Lizzy attend counseling, rather than refusing. This detail - and several others - were edited or removed for the sake of censorship, drama, or brevity. In general, the characters of the husband and wife have remained unchanged and mainly cursing, a couple points the therapist made, and small pieces of information with some clarifications were taken out. If you want to read the original you can find it by searching ‘My husband asked me to be a SAHM then went insane when I agreed.’
That poor girl. I feel so bad for Lizzy, she seems like she is such a sweet young girl. She should not have negative outcome in this whole entire situation. That father is destroying his daughter’s mental,social, and emotional health with his bare hands.
@@ThatCatByTheStreet-ln2yc5we7d exactly, at such a young age it would have been best to try to reverse the damage that the father did but he is not allowing it
Lots of people agree with the husband's points - and to some extent, I do, too. He has a right to be upset about how things turned out. HOWEVER, he does not get to respond to his inner angst by taking it out on the people around him. Resorting to manipulation and abuse means you immediately lose the argument.
disagree the only one being Manipulative one is op How can she unilaterally decide that she has can be the stay at home parent. That not being a partner they both have too.
She's not being manipulative he is she's not going to let herself be controlled by him and the marriage console sound like it was needed bc he couldn't se coming sense so if he doesn't have a family it's his own fault
I understand why he’d be upset, as the therapist said it’s completely natural, but he’s just being a stubborn child at this point. If he can’t handle this situation like an adult, he shouldn’t have a child. It genuinely upsets me that Lizzy has to be caught in the middle of it, cuz it’s not her fault that her father is a manchild who can’t understand why babies need more care than kids.
I know a couple who had a ... similar but different situation. Their son (her step son) was 9 years old when she got pregnant with her biological son. Her husband VERY POLITELY pointed out that he was worried she'll love her "flesh and blood son" more than she loves her "other son". The difference is, SHE admitted her worries were the OPPOSITE - she was worried she'd love her biological son less, because her current son is so amazing! She also admitted she TECHNICALLY knew she wanted that boy as her son before she knew she wanted that man as her husband. They also ended up going to couple's therapy and were told that both their worries are ok to have...
How is he arguing with a councillor? He showed his point, and they showed how it was wrong, but he couldn't accept that. Also, a councillor is supposed to have a neutral and fair opinion, so it's stupid he thinks the councillor is wrong.
It happens a lot actually 😅 Even when I'm actively avoiding an argument with my client (my job is not to agree with them, but my organization centers care around what the client wants to do, and we specifically aren't supposed to argue) sometimes they just HAVE to make it one.
I get what you saying, however, there's two sides to every problem and we are only hearing her side. Her take on what the counselor and his family are saying. I air on the side of fairness and forming opinions on one side of a two sided issue is not fair. They were married for at least 4 years and hubby never became vocally violent in that time until this situation. In fact, he respected her decision not to quit work and be a SAHM. He didn't have any issues with any of her decisions up to this point, which indicates they worked well together. With that being said, why did he blow his top so horribly over this? Could it have been the way she handled it? (No, I'm not blaming her, just a question) Could there have been some unlaying issue? (Something more than just his ex-wife's actions) Why couldn't either of them back down long enough to see the other's point of view? I truly believe they both overreacted in this situation and neither wanted to find a middle ground based on the information she has given.
I can see both perspectives but I’m on OPs side because of how rude her husband was being after Edit: okay guys I understand now, I thought the request to be a stay at home mom was when lizzy was newborn, my bad, I can no longer see the husbands perspective
Right i completely see the husbands point. I rlly rlly rlly do But I have to say im on her side He says he loves Lizzy yet used her for his own selfish needs And he made his wife scared of him. Even in arguments a woman should *NEVER* be afraid of their husband and they’re ignoring Lizzys own feelings I’m afraid of that poor girl’s environment. As someone with a brother who is what some will say “favouritised” for fair reasons This family could’ve been a very well loved family. They both took this so unfairly and out of bounds
I am extremely concerned that any of you "see" the husband's point. He has not a single point, and you need to check your brain if you think so. He is literally trying to argue that because his daughter was neglected by his ex, OP should neglect their son, so it's "fair". What complete nonsense is that? If his ex beat his daughter, would the husband demand OP beat their son, for the sake of "fairness"? Also, him pretending like a baby and child needs the same amount of care is insane. OP also pointed out why HE didn't become a stay at home dad for his daughter back then, and he had no answer. This was about control, and nothing else. The man refused to get his daughter help after she became depressed due to his actions, that shows what a monster he is, who never actually cared about his daughter's well-being.
people fail to realize that although she does love her stepdaughter as her own, there’s a different bond with your biological child that you experience pregnancy with. not saying favoritism is okay, but this dad is just being ridiculous
Both of them are wrong and honestly they both suck as parents one has trauma and the other one can be a bitch but both are stubborn in their own ways having maternal feelings for one baby than both and while one is not your bio child they consider their mom and that hold weight at their age so I can see where the dad is coming from in the since that his daughter finally found a mom and when he asked her could she stay home the first he chalked it up to that stay at home life is not for her and he never spoke about it again but now when it’s your bio child who only has spent 7-9 months inside of you now is when you want to stay and look after the baby and show his daughter a little love because she won’t increase her love to a baby that’s not hers she will just love the bio more and when he was a single father he feels that his baby girl won’t do good in that environment because just like how we say when dating a single mom you are not the priority the child is and even married for some they are still stuck in that way where it’s just him and the daughter against the world
Props to the husband's family for not taking his side and letting him know he's being a douchebag. And props to the marriage counselor for clearly and calmly showing they understood what the husband was feeling and gently educating him on why he's wrong. And last but not least props to Lizzy for understanding who's the bad guy in this situation. Poor girl deserves better. As for the husband feeling "ganged up on" If your wife, your siblings, your parents, your best friend, your marriage counselor and even your own DAUGHTER are telling you you're wrong; it might be worth considering that you might be WRONG! I do hope Lizzy isn't traumatized by this and starts thinking this is how all men behave.
It’s obvious to the one you give birth to. You are being kind by taking care of his daughter from another woman. Why is it woman who needs to be saint all the time!
So the husband doesn’t get a say in whether or not she’s a stay at home mom, tf? I completely get his POV but I also understand where the woman is coming from, however, you can’t act like someone becoming a stay at home parent is not a decision for both of them to make. She also went into the relationship knowing about his daughter and committing herself to be a caring mother yet she’s actively showing favoritism when both children will be in the household, the husband is being perfectly reasonable in what he’s saying.
@channelname9468 Is not about favoritism. It's the fact that an infant requires much more attention than a child already in school. She doesn't need full time care but an infant does.
The fact that the husband is also ignoring his own daughter’s depression at the end…yea I think OP should adopt Lizzy…that poor little girl needs love. The husband broke his own marriage and refuses to see any common sense or any ground and is even REFUSING to even care for his own daughters mental well being after all he did was claim to be “fair” or what was “owed” to his daughter. Yea no he used the daughter as a pawn for his own issues and manipulation…I hope the family takes Lizzy away from her dad cuz clearly he is not even getting her the help she needs. And the family clearly see how unstable he is. He shouldn’t even be around kids if OP is that terrified of what he would do to the baby…this isn’t okay. That man needs serious help and now he destroyed his probably only chance at a happy family. He showed his true colors and his own problems he refuses to look at. Now it’s affecting his daughter and he is neglecting her own well being…that’s the most heartbreaking…
She married a psychotic wining crying toddler who sticks to their argument until the very end. He should have just moved on instead of inheriting his Exs traits
The problem is that he is insecure. That man sees all the qualities in you that he doesn’t have within himself it makes him insecure and he hates you for it. Deep down he knows that if it was him in your position he would’ve loved his bio child more than his stepchild. Those type of people know themselves well and in their mind everyone is just like them. The self awareness, the insecurities and his ego is a deadly combination. Continue being smart and stay away from that man.
@@JohnDoe-vw4zf they're talking about favouritism and prejudice not the biological bond with the bio kid vs the step kid. If he was in her place would've engaged in favouritism w his bio kid and he's projecting that into her.
I'm sorry, how are you getting to the conclusion that he's projecting? The husband explained that you can't disconnect favoritism from that special bond. Op does not treat Lizzy like her child, and that's going to have a lasting impact on her. Now her dad has that honor.
@@JohnDoe-vw4zf she also said that it’s normal for parents to love their biological child more than a stepchild, which is perfectly fine. It’s not bad to say that somebody is going to love the child that they literally carried for nine whole months than someone you only know because of who you’re dating, and it’s obvious that OP loves her stepchild as well and that she’s thinking of her being a stay at home mom as a beneficial thing for both her stepchild and her biological child
Its the fact he thinks Izzy is owed something from OP beyond what she has given. Izzy is owed a loving mother and OP had been that for a long time. OP can't pay the debt Izzy's bio mom owes her, she can merely try and be a good mom to the little girl going forward.
Honestly, op is a damn good stepmom to that child especially since she came into the picture so late! Like I've had my stepmom since I was one years old and most of the time she doesn't let me go to my little brother's stuff, usually doesn't feel a need to go to my stuff (even if it's important to me), always making me take the blame for me and little brothers quarrels because I'm the older sibling and I'm supposed to be more responsible even if they're usually not my fault, complains and mutter under her breath for simple requests that I make, and her barley saying "I love you" back to me as well. Like I know she loves me through the little details of the things she does like buying me my lady higene products and helping me my hair if it's really knotted and all that but stuff like I listed prior and knowing that your little siblings are obviously more favoritized by your stepmom hits you like a mental bullet in the heart and that just straight up fucking hurts because you think of her as your actual mom. So I just wanted to congratulate op for treating that girl like her own and giving her all the love in the world as well, because that's pretty hard to come across in this day and age. Hope you have a blessed day. ❤
“Violent and manipulative ex”, uhhhh he kinda sounds like the violent and manipulative one. That women is legit carrying his child, legit destroying her body and putting her life on hold for him and low key his daughter too since she gets a sibling and only children are weird af most the time. Most people I know in my family didn’t want to give up their income and career, but when they had their second kid they either had to or took a longer maternity leave, that doesn’t mean they loved their first kid less, but being a parent to one kid is already a part time job forget one kid plus an infant. Also given how crazy and unstable the husband is, I feel like even sane people would get violent at his repeated manipulative tactics, she should RUN!
The father refused his son a full-time mom out of "fairness" for his daughter, only ending with the poor daughter losing the mother she loved, resulting with her spiraling into depression, and the monster of a father refuses to give her counseling. 💀 This has NOTHING to do with fairness, this was purely a controlling tactic, because he clearly doesn't care about his daughter. (But honestly, him telling his very pregnant wife to sleep on the couch should already have been reason to divorce, and take full custody of that child. That just shows how vicious he is.)
I COMPLETELY agree with you, the husband is a very insecure and a manipulative father. And besides, I would feel it would just be more reasonable if he OP chooses to be a stay at home mother, she's going to be taking care of two kids, TWO. One an infant and another a little girl, he needs to find his brain somewhere because this is something he needs to put more thought on. And for him to put this in the name of "fairness" is stupid, why would he wish his OWN son to be put into such a situation. I'm sure Lizzie would understand because the infant is just a newborn. I feel like there should be an actual worry in this if they were struggling with money or something, but he is just being irrational.
has this guy never heard of sudden infant death??? babies need to be watched nearly 24/7, and this lady is still wanting to spend time with the little girl too? i get being worried about favoritism but when you have probably more than 10-15 people (two being professionals) telling you how there is nothing to worry about and acting like this is stupid, where does he realize that maybe the fear is irrational? where does he take a step back and think “maybe theres a reason why no one else agrees with me…” or “hmm maybe i should try and trust my wife and see how she acts when the baby actually does come around before i start screaming.. maybe i should see if she sticks to her word and divorce her if she doesnt…”
Happy to see a Reddit video where the woman knows how to properly deal with abusive behavior from their spouse. Nothing prideful or vindictive but she also didn’t cave on her wants and needs. just straight up emotional and physical boundary setting with thoughtful communication.
He's telling her that the reason is favouritism while he's literally showing favouritism to his daughter by wanting the worse for the baby to ''avoid favouritism'' he can't force her to love a child that isn't even her more than he bio child
I do not know how people are gaslighting themselves into thinking that the dad was right. This man is absolutely insane. The mother weirds me out too but this dude ruined both his kids lives because he didn’t like something that would literally make everyone’s life better and easier. I am very inclined to believe this is not real there is no way any one is this stupid, everyone agreeing with him in this comment section has to be a troll or something
At first, I understood and felt for the father's side. Being in the step-daughter's shoes it will always be a challenge, whether the step-mom quit her job or not, the bond between her and the biological son will always be apparent and felt by the step-daughter. It is natural for children to pick up on this as they grow especially in the early stages of their adolescent. However, two caring parents can counter this very easily if they work together to show the unconditional love they have for them and thrive if they reinforced this doubt with reassurance. Just for everyone reading, this is natural to happen, unfortunately, this family just was not able to work it out. It is a pity to learn through this life-story that Lizzie will suffer much worse now because of her father's obsession to get his way instead of prioritising the wellbeing of two of his children. Denying everyone's plea for the father to change a small part of his perspective for the sake of his family and resolving to manipulation instead.. the mother made the right decision to leave. He was a ticking time bomb that could have set off at any time in that household while in the presence of the mother especially the more he did not get his way. Therapist in training here, the root cause of his demise seems to be his unresolved issue from his previous marriage that affected him mentally. Because he refused to acknowledge this evidently even while in therapy .. shows his level of commitment as a husband and father.. He lost that opportunity to heal and make amends with the changing dynamics of his growing family.. mother changed her mind so what???? This is adulthood, not a toddler's pinky promise. I am afraid for Lizzie because at her age she can easily be persuaded about anything by the father and there's a high possibility that she might even grow apart from the step-mom, once a source of her stability now severed. I hate that this impacts on the children a lot more but the outcome seems absolutely necessary given these circumstances..
I'm not surprised that he backed out of therapy saying he felt he was being "ganged up on". He actually wanted the therapist to side with and knock some "sense" into op but got upset when the therapist didn't side with him and actually spoke facts plus logic. He only showed that he's so stuck in his delusional toxic logic that he refuses to listen to anyone else, even his own family after how they tore into him.
The one thing that rlly bugged me was how he wanted her to go back to work after two weeks. First of all, no woman is physically ready to work two weeks after birth. They would be bleeding, recovering from tearing, lactating and be incredibly pained by cramps. Its not abt family issues. Its just physical facts.
I wish there was a way for her to get custody of Lizzy. Lizzy doesn't deserve the father, she deserves the woman who has been a better parent to her then both of her biological parents
Hold on hold on- is no one talking about our the fact that that husband is REFUSING to take his daughter to counseling??? Get that girl away from him! Shes self destructing and he doesn’t even care-
I do understand the husband's point but what the therapist explained was the perfect reasoning and he should accept it cause nothing can be done about this situation otherwise
I can understand that he's mad bc she was changing her mind which to anyone would give off that "favorness" vibe but the way he acted was that of a lunatic, this lady is very wise and I wish her good luck honestly.
also to OP’s point, mothering two kids is more work than mothering one, I know a few women who kept working after one kid but switched to being a SAHM after two or three kids
I feel so bad for Lizzy.I kind of wish that this girl could fight for custody over Lizzy.i know she can't,since she's technically not her biological mother,but it's still not fair to the little girl that she can't live with somebody that she truly loves,and somebody that's been an amazing mom to her,even if they hadn't actually given birth to her.Yet another example of why life can be so unfair at times.Hope Lizzy and the mom (+ the baby) are happy now,and that the husband realized that he was being totally unfair, and that he owned up for his shit.holy dina,that's a lotta words.
Honestly the fact that he's refusing to give his daughter The care she needs is disgusting he doesn't deserve that little girl. If this keeps up or gets worse you might end up getting full custody of her and he won't have either of his children. He needs to recognize that he has to shape up
I may be petty but i agree with his pov a bit, the reaction and anger and shouting and mistreating hell no but i get it, i mean i'd be a bit peeved about it but at this point like is said it'll benefit his kid now, also TWO WEEKS AFTER BIRTH? HE CAN GO KICK ROCKS.
I get why he was mad but it makes sense you change when you have a baby I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom until I had my baby so I see why she changed her mind
I hate when people act like not being a stay at home parent is such a terrible thing. There’s nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom but there’s nothing wrong with being a working mom either.
I can’t believe this, I have had a busy day but any free moment I got today went to watching this video. This gave me so much emotion, and I haven’t ever been through anything like this, so I don’t know why it went so deep into me, but, watching this, I felt so many things. I felt like crying at the sad parts, like screaming at the horrible parts, and it even gave me pride to watch the parts where the wife in this post explains, calm and collectively, that she will not be treated in this inhumane manner. It’s things like this that keeps my faith in humanity. Cheers, mate, you are an amazing women.
Girl, there is no reason for you to feel bad for that happening because he decided to make the decisions that he decided to make. I feel bad for the little girl what she’s going through but the thing is that you have to take care of yourself and he’s the one who’s going to cause problems for that little girl because of his choices I understand he is an opinion of you had a choice before why didn’t you choose to do that then, but if she was already in pre-K she wouldn’t be at home most of the time, so what would be the point of you staying home and for his family to yell at him for what happened and for him to still not click, and for therapist and other people to tell him and show him this opinion of what is right and what is wrong in this type of situation, narrowing it down from other families and stuff and for him to continuously not understand made me want to throw a chair at him because it’s late bro, you had the chance to be with a wonderful woman who is going to have a child with you and was loving to your other daughter from another woman and the child love this woman, and for him to decide that he wanted to stand firm on his opinion is crazy I understand he was like oh why wouldn’t you do this for her but you’re gonna do it for her son but it’s like the past in the past this is the present and she’s deciding to do it now now that little girl and her son we both have her at the house at all times so it’s like Bruh
I can understand to an extent of y he feels this way but when he asked her to be a sahm to his daughter his daughter was not an infant I’m not saying that bc she wasn’t an infant she doesn’t deserve a sahm I’m just saying that when you give birth to a child and u have to work many of those once in a lifetime things can be taken away from u I also think that it is super childish of him to try and force her to work in the name of being “fair” and for him not to try to resolve the problem just show as how far he was willing to go to get her to listen to him
While the husband is justified in how he feels I'm on the mother's side. He refuses to be an adult and rather destroy the family than not get his entire 100% way. I don't care what people say you are never going to have the same connection with a step-child then you will a biological child that you grew in your body. That does NOT mean either are loved more or less- you can have the same emotional level of connection with a step/adopted child as you would a biological! It's just actually different when you're pregnant with the child versus when you just enter their lives as adoptive or step parent... that literally does not and has never meant "I love this child less" jesus f. christ. Side note: the explosive anger and going into hysterics followed by the "WAIT NO YOU CAN'T LEAVE we have a child please don't leave" really sounds like BPD to me especially when she's saying in her right/logical/reasonable mind he clearly has some deep seeded issues to work out I'm not diagnosing anyone with BPD and this is just a guess as someone who has BPD and this is unfortunately a very real thing we can end up doing and the worst part is we have no idea we do it, and will believe the other person is the problem and we have absolutely nothing wrong with us while we're splitting- this is by no means an excuse for his behavior he seriously needs help or he will destroy the family bond for good
When I grew up, my mother made the same decision. After I, the 2nd child, was born, she decided to raise us as a SAHM. It was the best decision of her life. She got to experience the joy of her children’s love and the comfort of knowing she can shape our future.
All right so what she should do is file for divorce but whenever they say it so what would you like to have say I'd like to have full custody of my child and if he says oh well she's my child then say she does not deserve to be manipulated about because you want to see me suffer so in conclusion sue his ass for full custody
having 1 vs having 2 children is different especially if both are still small. he is so unreasonable wtf, also if he thought about that dark thing for that long, damn he has some issues for real no the husband did this to his family, like you have a new wife, just let go of the past, stop being too paranoid like that, poor Lizzy
Step parents who are solid rocks to their step kids are true hero’s! The fact that you don’t care it’s not your biological kid and you love them like it’s yours because you understand that the person you love comes with a cute little package deal is huge! I don’t have any step parents but I grew up with friends who had cool step parents and they even treated their step kids friends as their own!
OP all you did was not take shit, You weren’t going to be treated a certain way or because your husband can’t tell the difference between something being fair and being different. Want to play the victim and act like ganging up on him is he wrong and everyone but him sees that. Now he’s about to ruin his own child because he can’t just admit he was wrong , and thinks he can still guilt trip you for not doing what he wanted when he wanted it. Try to get the family to be more involved than that girl life so she doesn’t suffer because of her father, and keep talking to her so she knows that no matter what you’re there for her.
I think the husband while having a right to feel what he feels is definitely in the wrong here. I think the wife did everything right given the situation though she is the narrator so I can’t know if she left anything out but I doubt it. What I think is most sad is that it sounds like the couples therapist wasn’t able to make the husband feel like he had someone on his side. I can understand not wanting to go to therapy when you feel like your therapist isn’t on your side or supporting you. If you are feeling paranoid and then have everyone you know side against you it makes sense that you would feel more paranoid and would double down. I feel bad for the husband and his daughter who is caught up in the situation. Good on the wife sticking up for herself and her family.
Surveying this story, the woman handled the situation with calmness and used her brain. I am betting the father genuinely doesn't know he's doing something wrong. I have had that experience with my dad, he doesn't realise that he's being abusive, like genuinely. Those other people that need the most help
I'm just gonna say, you know you fucked up big time when the people who love you, have been hurt by someone else, but they STILL SUPPORT THAT SOMEONE ELSE
While the husband has the right to feel the way he does. It’s wild to me that he would trust someone else with his kid when his wife can take care of his son.
For all on the dad's side you do realise that Lizzie was 4 and had no real need for a stay at home mom right? Y'all also realise that she isn't her's biologically and doesn't really need to take care of her but she does because she loves her husband.He married her to be his wife not a replacement mom.The guy is unhinged and I'm glad even his family can see it.I think he is facing the fact that he choose badly when it came to his daughter's mom abd now that he choose well his son is going to have an attentive and loving mom from the get go and he is ashamed his mistake cost his daughter the same.So now he's self sabotaging and taking it out on OP.Wow talk about an emotional MAN CHILD😢😢
@@lilithli2690 the child support is for the child not the mother. Also if this dude makes enough to make her a sahm what makes you think he wouldn’t fight for 50/50 custody, thus lowering the child support amount. Also family support can only go so far because not every family would want a scream baby in their house. This is just a lose lose scenario for both parties.
@@lilithli2690Jesus how much is child support? lol enough to pay rent, bills, petrol, groceries, all baby products etc. dam! She could have been a stay at home mother so long as she left him, with a baby in tow. Also unless the family is rich and kind. Financially supporting a single mother because she doesn’t want to work is huge lol.
@@cruzsolo44 In some countries, women are permitted to be full-time moms while the child is a baby (as in, they get money during that time, until they can return to work). I am not sure where this story takes place, but it is possible.
@@darklordsatan4383 this story is 9 years old. Too bad we don’t know if she stayed with him or not since she didn’t update anymore after the third update 9 years ago.
He’s being self destructive, I get that he wishes his daughter had the same treatment/opportunity, but it’s not like its too late for her to enjoy having a SAHM, his wife was literally offering it and he ended up depriving both his children of that opportunity.
his own daughter is even against him and she's so young, i hope Lizzy can get the support she deserves and needs because it's obvious her dad won't give it to her because his ego is so inflated he cant accept being wrong.
Why doesn't he become a stay at home dad? I can understand somewhat his point of view, thoigh. She didn't want to be a stay at home mom then but now she does. It sounds really crazy and at times I wonder if her spouse is or was abusive.
remeber. there is a special biological attachment to childern born from your own creation. its not somthing you can just have for any other kid. its somthing rooted into human biology. and she clearly loves Lizzy very much
If anything, I think it is him with favoritism. He won’t listen to her when she is saying it will help with the baby AND Lizzie, but he just wants what is good for Lizzie. I’m not trying to criticize and I can see where that went wrong and how she sounded when she said she can be a stay at home mom, but even after a few days, he still carried it out. He was being a jerk and carried the fight out for a while, leading to his abusive and hurtful words. He tried kicking her out and when she decided to leave, he was hurt. I understand he took the message wrong, but even after marriage counseling and HIS OWN FAMILY explaining, he still didn’t care. My personal opinion is he wanted attention and what was best for Lizzie only, not his wife or his son. (Also please, no one take this the wrong way. This is my personal opinion and I didn’t mean to offend anyone if I did)
I haven’t watched the full thing but I understand the husband’s perspective a lil bit ill edit if I disagree at the end Edit: alr so yeah ops ex husband is a ah
The newborn has to be at least 6 weeks old to go to daycare so I have no idea how shes supposed to go back to work in 2 weeks is insane? Who is going to take care of her son while she is at work???
The wife has made a serious point and that's what needs to be respected down the line plus being a SAHM to two children of different ages is totally different and always will be due to the fact that one is going to preschool and one is a newborn baby so that reality will change to a serious extent big time and there's no changing that reality ever.
This is such a shame. Imo the wife did everything right. I can understand the husband’s feelings but he single-handedly destroyed their family. The therapist gave so much good advice which he didn’t take because of “sides”? “Feeling ganged up on”? Its sad when families/ relationships are considered ‘sides’ when there should only be one: what is good for the sake of the family/ relationship. Instead he just didn’t want to be wrong despite everyone telling him otherwise.
![[Full Story] My psychotic mother showed up to my brother’s wedding uninvited.](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XZTuoLdQrkU/mqdefault.jpg)
![[Full Story] My psychotic mother showed up to my brother’s wedding uninvited.](/img/tr.png)
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![[Full Story] My lying wife stabbed me in the back so I’m planning to end it all.](/img/1.gif)
Going back to work two weeks after birth is ridiculous… That law is so messed up
I don’t think a mother who just gave birth should go to work 1 year later👁️👄👁️.2 weeks later is not right tho,at least 2 months or 4
yep - in the uk you get at least 6 months to 1 year with pay
In Canada I believe it's a year
In Sweden you have paid parental leave (80% of your income) for 480 days after birth for each child. The father in also gets 12 paid days when the baby is born, to help out.
Going back to work after 2 weeks sounds crazy. Soo hard and stressful for everyone. 😭
I didn't think that was even legal...at least not if they're in the US. You don't even get basic medical clearance until after 6 weeks.
He got what he wanted. Complete fairness. Both kids will only have one parent. Good for him...
What an absolute lunatic.
Not exactly fairness because she'll be the one giving birth and she'll have to take care of the baby alone while recovering from labour, while he didn't had to recover from labour
@@Maria-wi1pj Yeah life sucks get a cat.
@Maria She clearly has family she can fall back on so she won’t be completely alone in the aftermath of giving birth. She has her mother, and clearly the father’s family will be big time support system for her as well.
@@Erythnullokay, I will
He she warned him two separate times and followed thru and he still chose jumping off a metaphorical cliff to ruin things instead of love her.
The fact that literally no one is siding with him, and yet he still fails to catch the message is insane.
Ikr. Like hhow can he not understand it when the whole world stands against him?
Yeah he's just being blind right now and blind in the way he's to stubborn to how he's not right
Some men just “cannot be wrong “
Talking to a brick wall
@@lilithli2690Eh I heard stories of women can't be wrong too but it is what it is.
That husband is SERIOUSLY messed up. When she started talking about the stuff they were told in couples counseling, I thought the husband would finally stop being a tosser, but he didn't.
Name a stay at home mom who is not fat. Stay at home moms suck. You can’t just make family plans to make more money and leave them when you need them most. The family had a comfortable situation and she left a big source of income for a kid which YOU need more money for.
He needs time to process it all. I don't think he's over his ex.
I swear that 5+ years later it's finally going to click for him
It not real buddy
H
the husband doesn’t care about his kids. he cares about getting his way
Untrue, but he's unreasonnable about his insecurities. He truly cares about his daughter not being pushed away, and his fears about the step mother favoritizing their soon to be born son is understandable. What isn't is him not aknowledging that his fears are unfounded and come from a place that isn't reality but hurt and/or misplaced understanding of 'fairness'. He seems like someone who has trouble with abandonment and projects it onto his kids, he's scared they may suffer like him and want strictly the same for both kids, which in itself is ok, but is actually very biased and toxic if it comes to a situation like her, in which he wants to control what his wife can or cannot do, how she works and what she does with her relatioships with the kids. He's not able to see outside of his own pov, and it ruins his family for this, and probably his daughter. So that's not that he doesn't care, he's just an idiot, and I hope it will not affect the daughter and future son too much.
@@rosevalety3408 "He truly cares about his daughter not being pushed away". Nope he does not. He made sure that she did not have a stepmom. If that is not being pushed away I do not know what is.
@@rosevalety3408If he cared why would he deny her of a full time mom just cuz she didn't have it at the new kids age. He just feels bad about her childhood and thinks making his child suffer will make up for lizzys suffering
YYYYYEEEEESSSSSS
I think he does care about both of his kids, he just feels misunderstood and he’s going about everything the wrong way. The controlling stuff didn’t come out until he felt like the situation was “out of control.” That seems like a fear response.
There’s a thing called “self-fulfilling prophecy” and it looks like dude is doing just that to himself. He has forced his insecurities, fears, and worries into becoming reality.
It seems like he was able to logically, with his brain, understand the therapist and the train of logic that the wife obviously definitely does love the little girl, but the thing about feelings is that they aren’t rational, especially his abandonment and favoritism feelings.
I think he’s really bad at properly expressing and explaining his feelings, and everyone telling him “yeah but that doesn’t make sense because x, y, and z…” makes him feel unheard and not understood.
It’s like he can’t wrap his around just giving this all a chance. Like he’s too afraid of what might “go wrong” that he can’t just try letting his wife stay at home so they can see what it looks like, if it works, etc.
Now all that being said, I just don’t know what the heck the wife could’ve done differently to make this situation work. She really tried everything she could, and I admire her ability to stick to her guns and maintain the boundaries and expectations she has.
What a freakin’ disaster, especially for the little girl and the baby boy.
From his perspective, I can understand why he is mad. It sounds like he agreed to you not being a SAHM to his Daughter but as soon as your Son comes around, you have these 'visions' of a happy family, I can understand where he's coming from but physically pushing her off is too much.
Taking care of a newborn is a lot more demanding than caring for a 4 year old. On one side the 4 year old is old enough for pre-k
But a newborn still has to be breast fed and demands more time and attention, so it’s not the same at all
@@webjev430Your just justifying a random reason which could or could not be the case
Same, but at the same time her decision to work when it wasn’t necessary for her to stay home means that they would have the ability to set up a nice nest egg in the event that something unexpected happens. But a new born is a major responsibility I’ve recently become an uncle and while my sister was a nurse and worked hard she’s now a stay at home mom because of a combination of factors including that they had plenty of money saved up and also not having people around to try and watch my nephew easily, I live with my parents as I just finished college and we live a good 30 to 40 minutes away which is also in the opposite direction of we’re she worked so my sister is a stay at home mom until either the baby is old enough to attend preschool or they have some sort of option for child care.
@@JasonJafry not random at all, did you listen to the full video? She said the same thing about the age difference In care taking
There's always 2 sides to every story And I understand she did made a promise
This is a good example of someone’s pride getting in the way. He doesn’t want to be wrong in this situation.
Anyone can see where the guy is coming from but if it were me and she says all of these facts then I’d try to understand better and not ruin “the best thing that’s happened to me”.
But he’s not wrong… she is pretending to be a victim…
How? @@Kaydeleon
@@Kaydeleon you're insane
Your a narcissist
She is clearly showing favouritism she wanted to peraue her career until her kid was born and suddenly she want to be a stay at mom that she never wanted to do for the other kid🙄@@dracosethie
Love is a Venn Diagram, NOT a pie chart. Love for one child does not take away from love for another.
Exactly, and that doesn't just apply to kids either...
Each and every one of us have a separate relationship with everyone else we care about.
They might influence each other sometimes, like how the breakup in the story lead to his daughter being upset with him.
But we can love multiple people without said love for any one of them being diminished.
Of course it involves consent, honesty and trust from everyone involved.
@@Luredreier Couldn't have said it better m'self. Hello and hugs, wherever you are!
Love is not limited is my favorite line
*it only dose if you want it to
Poor Lizzy. He talks about being fair and yet he fails to grasp the fact that he is hurting Lizzy.
being the child of a single father I can understand being concerned about favoritism but wtf. I had to deal with favoritism and neglect because of it, but not once did my almost step mother ever get me up for school or take care of me. I was 5 when she entered the picture and she stayed home for the 1st 6 months after my sister was born. after that she worked part time and her friend babysat while we were in school. It seems like they didn't have that option but they should have compromised. She did everything the way she thought was best but he was completely unreasonable. she could have stayed at home for at least a year and taken care of their son before going back as a part-time worker or they could have compromised on her staying home until he was in pre-k or whatever. His problems were his own and he destroyed their family by being unreasonable. she did have a right to change her mind and he had no right to try to control her, especially telling her to go back to work 2 weeks after giving birth. In that situation I would try to legally adopt Lizzie and get full custody and only give him visitation. It seems like it would be best for the little girl.
Do you understand how custody works? Lizzy isnt biologicaly her child and he hasnt neglected her either, there is not basis for custody even remotly.
I am going to take full custody of you becuz apperantly i can randomly get custody of random ppl, curfews at 8pm sharp btw
I don't think she would win full custody, because it's not her biological child and the fatherndoes not neglect her. Also it would be like stealing someones child just because they think they would be better for the child.
It could very easily turn abusive @@julekogonowski39
And not to mention, its depression. He will not take care of her when she needs help. Thats neglecting.
dude ur dumb for thinking that way, if lizzie gets taken away from OP’s husband he won’t have anything and that will prolly drive to to suicide jus bc OP is a horrible wife dosent mean the the husband should lose his daughter
In the original story, the husband consented to have Lizzy attend counseling, rather than refusing. This detail - and several others - were edited or removed for the sake of censorship, drama, or brevity. In general, the characters of the husband and wife have remained unchanged and mainly cursing, a couple points the therapist made, and small pieces of information with some clarifications were taken out. If you want to read the original you can find it by searching ‘My husband asked me to be a SAHM then went insane when I agreed.’
I can’t find it, do you have a link?
It’s not real buddy😅
@@kittencrafts7031prove it
I found it but it doesn't have a lot of info
@@kittencrafts7031 just because it was posted online doesn’t mean it’s not real.
That poor girl. I feel so bad for Lizzy, she seems like she is such a sweet young girl. She should not have negative outcome in this whole entire situation. That father is destroying his daughter’s mental,social, and emotional health with his bare hands.
the not getting counciling thing is such bullshit
@@ThatCatByTheStreet-ln2yc5we7d exactly, at such a young age it would have been best to try to reverse the damage that the father did but he is not allowing it
Lots of people agree with the husband's points - and to some extent, I do, too. He has a right to be upset about how things turned out. HOWEVER, he does not get to respond to his inner angst by taking it out on the people around him. Resorting to manipulation and abuse means you immediately lose the argument.
Agreed.
disagree the only one being Manipulative one is op How can she unilaterally decide that she has can be the stay at home parent. That not being a partner they both have too.
I'm on her side she has a right to do this he wanted to have a family but now he might not and it's his own fault
She's not being manipulative he is she's not going to let herself be controlled by him and the marriage console sound like it was needed bc he couldn't se coming sense so if he doesn't have a family it's his own fault
@@Cloudysky280 she can do what ever she want but he can't how is that a health relationship
I understand why he’d be upset, as the therapist said it’s completely natural, but he’s just being a stubborn child at this point. If he can’t handle this situation like an adult, he shouldn’t have a child. It genuinely upsets me that Lizzy has to be caught in the middle of it, cuz it’s not her fault that her father is a manchild who can’t understand why babies need more care than kids.
I know a couple who had a ... similar but different situation. Their son (her step son) was 9 years old when she got pregnant with her biological son. Her husband VERY POLITELY pointed out that he was worried she'll love her "flesh and blood son" more than she loves her "other son". The difference is, SHE admitted her worries were the OPPOSITE - she was worried she'd love her biological son less, because her current son is so amazing! She also admitted she TECHNICALLY knew she wanted that boy as her son before she knew she wanted that man as her husband. They also ended up going to couple's therapy and were told that both their worries are ok to have...
How is he arguing with a councillor? He showed his point, and they showed how it was wrong, but he couldn't accept that. Also, a councillor is supposed to have a neutral and fair opinion, so it's stupid he thinks the councillor is wrong.
It happens a lot actually 😅 Even when I'm actively avoiding an argument with my client (my job is not to agree with them, but my organization centers care around what the client wants to do, and we specifically aren't supposed to argue) sometimes they just HAVE to make it one.
Oh the stories I have lol. So many don't believe in therapy let alone the whole system. They think mental health is made up and we are all okay.
Unwillingness to accept he might not be in the correct, therefore everyone else is wrong.
Its hard talking and explaining things to narcissists even when they get proven wrong
I get what you saying, however, there's two sides to every problem and we are only hearing her side. Her take on what the counselor and his family are saying. I air on the side of fairness and forming opinions on one side of a two sided issue is not fair. They were married for at least 4 years and hubby never became vocally violent in that time until this situation. In fact, he respected her decision not to quit work and be a SAHM. He didn't have any issues with any of her decisions up to this point, which indicates they worked well together. With that being said, why did he blow his top so horribly over this? Could it have been the way she handled it? (No, I'm not blaming her, just a question) Could there have been some unlaying issue? (Something more than just his ex-wife's actions) Why couldn't either of them back down long enough to see the other's point of view? I truly believe they both overreacted in this situation and neither wanted to find a middle ground based on the information she has given.
Okay, the daughter is owed a loving mother, but the Stepmother doesn't owe it to her. The biological parents owe it to her.
But the stepmother was loving the daughter. He manufactured this problem in his own imagination.
I'm so sorry for Lizzy. What's up with the audio though?
Init
Yeah, I was thinking that- it went all quiet then loud, and then at the end just cut off-
and sometimes the text skips over like 15 words too
@@DGM321 like the text says, ‘I can’t believe ____ My husband _____ __ ____ __ me and Lizzy!’
Good question
I can see both perspectives but I’m on OPs side because of how rude her husband was being after
Edit: okay guys I understand now, I thought the request to be a stay at home mom was when lizzy was newborn, my bad, I can no longer see the husbands perspective
Womp womp
@@mrmysterymr5836 do you even know what womp womp is used for
I get the husband. Op is a hypocrite that only loves her son and not his daughter. That is clear.
@@mrmysterymr5836babes this Is not a womp womp thing I think you Need to learn What its used for
@@mrmysterymr5836you should be the one getting womp womped imo💀
Right i completely see the husbands point. I rlly rlly rlly do
But I have to say im on her side
He says he loves Lizzy yet used her for his own selfish needs
And he made his wife scared of him. Even in arguments a woman should *NEVER* be afraid of their husband and they’re ignoring Lizzys own feelings I’m afraid of that poor girl’s environment.
As someone with a brother who is what some will say “favouritised” for fair reasons
This family could’ve been a very well loved family. They both took this so unfairly and out of bounds
I heard this story before he went through with his ex wife sad thing is he's putting his through OP
he is just a normal dad (at least from what i saw)
@@justebob yeah bad thing he's putting his old past through OP it sucks
I really hope the family takes Lizzy away from her dad that is just not an okay environment…that man should not be around kids at all…
I am extremely concerned that any of you "see" the husband's point. He has not a single point, and you need to check your brain if you think so.
He is literally trying to argue that because his daughter was neglected by his ex, OP should neglect their son, so it's "fair". What complete nonsense is that? If his ex beat his daughter, would the husband demand OP beat their son, for the sake of "fairness"?
Also, him pretending like a baby and child needs the same amount of care is insane. OP also pointed out why HE didn't become a stay at home dad for his daughter back then, and he had no answer.
This was about control, and nothing else. The man refused to get his daughter help after she became depressed due to his actions, that shows what a monster he is, who never actually cared about his daughter's well-being.
0:20 if you came from the short then click here so its not overlapping :D
The unsung hero
I actually came from there the short lol 😭
Thank you 🙏
people fail to realize that although she does love her stepdaughter as her own, there’s a different bond with your biological child that you experience pregnancy with. not saying favoritism is okay, but this dad is just being ridiculous
I think the dads stupid and the moms right but ngl i feel bad for the daughter shes losing a mom again
SHE SAID IF IF Therapy TO SLOVE HE SAID THE HUSAND IS NUTS
i feel bad for the lizzy she didn't nothing and not get therapy for it
You people are unbearable
I feel like there both wrong
Both of them are wrong and honestly they both suck as parents one has trauma and the other one can be a bitch but both are stubborn in their own ways having maternal feelings for one baby than both and while one is not your bio child they consider their mom and that hold weight at their age so I can see where the dad is coming from in the since that his daughter finally found a mom and when he asked her could she stay home the first he chalked it up to that stay at home life is not for her and he never spoke about it again but now when it’s your bio child who only has spent 7-9 months inside of you now is when you want to stay and look after the baby and show his daughter a little love because she won’t increase her love to a baby that’s not hers she will just love the bio more and when he was a single father he feels that his baby girl won’t do good in that environment because just like how we say when dating a single mom you are not the priority the child is and even married for some they are still stuck in that way where it’s just him and the daughter against the world
Props to the husband's family for not taking his side and letting him know he's being a douchebag. And props to the marriage counselor for clearly and calmly showing they understood what the husband was feeling and gently educating him on why he's wrong. And last but not least props to Lizzy for understanding who's the bad guy in this situation. Poor girl deserves better.
As for the husband feeling "ganged up on" If your wife, your siblings, your parents, your best friend, your marriage counselor and even your own DAUGHTER are telling you you're wrong; it might be worth considering that you might be WRONG!
I do hope Lizzy isn't traumatized by this and starts thinking this is how all men behave.
It’s obvious to the one you give birth to. You are being kind by taking care of his daughter from another woman. Why is it woman who needs to be saint all the time!
Yes she is being kind taking care of his child. However, that is what she signed up for when she married him.
So the husband doesn’t get a say in whether or not she’s a stay at home mom, tf? I completely get his POV but I also understand where the woman is coming from, however, you can’t act like someone becoming a stay at home parent is not a decision for both of them to make. She also went into the relationship knowing about his daughter and committing herself to be a caring mother yet she’s actively showing favoritism when both children will be in the household, the husband is being perfectly reasonable in what he’s saying.
@channelname9468 Is not about favoritism. It's the fact that an infant requires much more attention than a child already in school. She doesn't need full time care but an infant does.
@@oonachestnut509It’s still favoritism if she just changed her mind immediately
@@oonachestnut509Plus she said she has a deeper connection with her child than lizzy which is not right to me.
her telling her husband to sleep on the couch was one of the biggest uno reverse cards I've ever heard of🤣
The fact that the husband is also ignoring his own daughter’s depression at the end…yea I think OP should adopt Lizzy…that poor little girl needs love. The husband broke his own marriage and refuses to see any common sense or any ground and is even REFUSING to even care for his own daughters mental well being after all he did was claim to be “fair” or what was “owed” to his daughter. Yea no he used the daughter as a pawn for his own issues and manipulation…I hope the family takes Lizzy away from her dad cuz clearly he is not even getting her the help she needs. And the family clearly see how unstable he is. He shouldn’t even be around kids if OP is that terrified of what he would do to the baby…this isn’t okay. That man needs serious help and now he destroyed his probably only chance at a happy family. He showed his true colors and his own problems he refuses to look at. Now it’s affecting his daughter and he is neglecting her own well being…that’s the most heartbreaking…
I'm getting addicted to these stories!!!😅😆
Samee😂😂xd
Really😊
Really
same here
@@Rwmac212 what
Only one problem, how exactly is Lizzie going to stay in her life?
Mhm. I'm so worries bout her. None of this is her fault but she is suffering so much :(
Grandparents take custody, and daddy dearest goes to an insane asylum
She can visit her other than that not much really
I really wish lizzie would stay with the mum:(
Baby and Lizzy still would share family so it wouldn’t be too hard to interact with her away from her idiot of a father
She married a psychotic wining crying toddler who sticks to their argument until the very end. He should have just moved on instead of inheriting his Exs traits
The problem is that he is insecure. That man sees all the qualities in you that he doesn’t have within himself it makes him insecure and he hates you for it. Deep down he knows that if it was him in your position he would’ve loved his bio child more than his stepchild. Those type of people know themselves well and in their mind everyone is just like them. The self awareness, the insecurities and his ego is a deadly combination. Continue being smart and stay away from that man.
OP and the therapist confirmed that she loves her bio kid more.
@@JohnDoe-vw4zf they're talking about favouritism and prejudice not the biological bond with the bio kid vs the step kid. If he was in her place would've engaged in favouritism w his bio kid and he's projecting that into her.
I'm sorry, how are you getting to the conclusion that he's projecting? The husband explained that you can't disconnect favoritism from that special bond. Op does not treat Lizzy like her child, and that's going to have a lasting impact on her. Now her dad has that honor.
@@JohnDoe-vw4zf the man is jealous of a child that hasn’t even exited the birth canal. He hates his wife and is making her life a living hell.
@@JohnDoe-vw4zf she also said that it’s normal for parents to love their biological child more than a stepchild, which is perfectly fine. It’s not bad to say that somebody is going to love the child that they literally carried for nine whole months than someone you only know because of who you’re dating, and it’s obvious that OP loves her stepchild as well and that she’s thinking of her being a stay at home mom as a beneficial thing for both her stepchild and her biological child
Its the fact he thinks Izzy is owed something from OP beyond what she has given. Izzy is owed a loving mother and OP had been that for a long time. OP can't pay the debt Izzy's bio mom owes her, she can merely try and be a good mom to the little girl going forward.
He tried to make this about Lizzie, and now she’s the one suffering the most from all of this. I hope he’s happy. 😒
It’s not real buddy😅
well it's not real but stuff like that happen a lot
and the lack of counciling thing. this is not about Lizzy. this is about "man pride" (I am a male btw)
Honestly, op is a damn good stepmom to that child especially since she came into the picture so late! Like I've had my stepmom since I was one years old and most of the time she doesn't let me go to my little brother's stuff, usually doesn't feel a need to go to my stuff (even if it's important to me), always making me take the blame for me and little brothers quarrels because I'm the older sibling and I'm supposed to be more responsible even if they're usually not my fault, complains and mutter under her breath for simple requests that I make, and her barley saying "I love you" back to me as well. Like I know she loves me through the little details of the things she does like buying me my lady higene products and helping me my hair if it's really knotted and all that but stuff like I listed prior and knowing that your little siblings are obviously more favoritized by your stepmom hits you like a mental bullet in the heart and that just straight up fucking hurts because you think of her as your actual mom. So I just wanted to congratulate op for treating that girl like her own and giving her all the love in the world as well, because that's pretty hard to come across in this day and age. Hope you have a blessed day. ❤
“Violent and manipulative ex”, uhhhh he kinda sounds like the violent and manipulative one. That women is legit carrying his child, legit destroying her body and putting her life on hold for him and low key his daughter too since she gets a sibling and only children are weird af most the time. Most people I know in my family didn’t want to give up their income and career, but when they had their second kid they either had to or took a longer maternity leave, that doesn’t mean they loved their first kid less, but being a parent to one kid is already a part time job forget one kid plus an infant. Also given how crazy and unstable the husband is, I feel like even sane people would get violent at his repeated manipulative tactics, she should RUN!
Sounds like he needs that 2nd income and maybe too proud to say it
Yeah, maybe. If he just said so, I bet it wouldn't have been a problem at all.
The father refused his son a full-time mom out of "fairness" for his daughter, only ending with the poor daughter losing the mother she loved, resulting with her spiraling into depression, and the monster of a father refuses to give her counseling. 💀
This has NOTHING to do with fairness, this was purely a controlling tactic, because he clearly doesn't care about his daughter.
(But honestly, him telling his very pregnant wife to sleep on the couch should already have been reason to divorce, and take full custody of that child. That just shows how vicious he is.)
That or when he tried to make her stay by throwing her stuff out of her luggage. He's crazy.
I COMPLETELY agree with you, the husband is a very insecure and a manipulative father. And besides, I would feel it would just be more reasonable if he OP chooses to be a stay at home mother, she's going to be taking care of two kids, TWO. One an infant and another a little girl, he needs to find his brain somewhere because this is something he needs to put more thought on.
And for him to put this in the name of "fairness" is stupid, why would he wish his OWN son to be put into such a situation. I'm sure Lizzie would understand because the infant is just a newborn.
I feel like there should be an actual worry in this if they were struggling with money or something, but he is just being irrational.
has this guy never heard of sudden infant death??? babies need to be watched nearly 24/7, and this lady is still wanting to spend time with the little girl too? i get being worried about favoritism but when you have probably more than 10-15 people (two being professionals) telling you how there is nothing to worry about and acting like this is stupid, where does he realize that maybe the fear is irrational? where does he take a step back and think “maybe theres a reason why no one else agrees with me…” or “hmm maybe i should try and trust my wife and see how she acts when the baby actually does come around before i start screaming.. maybe i should see if she sticks to her word and divorce her if she doesnt…”
New borns need the mother 24/7 😐 the husbands a lunatic.
Happy to see a Reddit video where the woman knows how to properly deal with abusive behavior from their spouse. Nothing prideful or vindictive but she also didn’t cave on her wants and needs. just straight up emotional and physical boundary setting with thoughtful communication.
Husband is dilutional. OP is not the AH.
He's telling her that the reason is favouritism while he's literally showing favouritism to his daughter by wanting the worse for the baby to ''avoid favouritism'' he can't force her to love a child that isn't even her more than he bio child
At first I understood both sides but dude turned evil real quick
Glad no one is on your ex-husband side
I do not know how people are gaslighting themselves into thinking that the dad was right. This man is absolutely insane. The mother weirds me out too but this dude ruined both his kids lives because he didn’t like something that would literally make everyone’s life better and easier. I am very inclined to believe this is not real there is no way any one is this stupid, everyone agreeing with him in this comment section has to be a troll or something
At first, I understood and felt for the father's side. Being in the step-daughter's shoes it will always be a challenge, whether the step-mom quit her job or not, the bond between her and the biological son will always be apparent and felt by the step-daughter. It is natural for children to pick up on this as they grow especially in the early stages of their adolescent. However, two caring parents can counter this very easily if they work together to show the unconditional love they have for them and thrive if they reinforced this doubt with reassurance. Just for everyone reading, this is natural to happen, unfortunately, this family just was not able to work it out. It is a pity to learn through this life-story that Lizzie will suffer much worse now because of her father's obsession to get his way instead of prioritising the wellbeing of two of his children. Denying everyone's plea for the father to change a small part of his perspective for the sake of his family and resolving to manipulation instead.. the mother made the right decision to leave. He was a ticking time bomb that could have set off at any time in that household while in the presence of the mother especially the more he did not get his way. Therapist in training here, the root cause of his demise seems to be his unresolved issue from his previous marriage that affected him mentally. Because he refused to acknowledge this evidently even while in therapy .. shows his level of commitment as a husband and father.. He lost that opportunity to heal and make amends with the changing dynamics of his growing family.. mother changed her mind so what???? This is adulthood, not a toddler's pinky promise. I am afraid for Lizzie because at her age she can easily be persuaded about anything by the father and there's a high possibility that she might even grow apart from the step-mom, once a source of her stability now severed. I hate that this impacts on the children a lot more but the outcome seems absolutely necessary given these circumstances..
I'm not surprised that he backed out of therapy saying he felt he was being "ganged up on". He actually wanted the therapist to side with and knock some "sense" into op but got upset when the therapist didn't side with him and actually spoke facts plus logic. He only showed that he's so stuck in his delusional toxic logic that he refuses to listen to anyone else, even his own family after how they tore into him.
The one thing that rlly bugged me was how he wanted her to go back to work after two weeks. First of all, no woman is physically ready to work two weeks after birth. They would be bleeding, recovering from tearing, lactating and be incredibly pained by cramps. Its not abt family issues. Its just physical facts.
Exactly, and the baby won't be physically ready in any way either
I wish there was a way for her to get custody of Lizzy. Lizzy doesn't deserve the father, she deserves the woman who has been a better parent to her then both of her biological parents
Why is he not blaming the birth mother of the girl not the step mother.!!
Hold on hold on- is no one talking about our the fact that that husband is REFUSING to take his daughter to counseling??? Get that girl away from him! Shes self destructing and he doesn’t even care-
I do understand the husband's point but what the therapist explained was the perfect reasoning and he should accept it cause nothing can be done about this situation otherwise
I don’t think it’s a lack of love for Lizzy… I think it’s a stronger need to be a stay at home mom with now TWO. Children instead of one
Ma'am needs to run getting violently angry after a disagreement is insane
At the point where OP’s husband’s family tells him he’s unreasonable and in the wrong, him not reconsidering I kind of knew how this would end.
I can understand that he's mad bc she was changing her mind which to anyone would give off that "favorness" vibe but the way he acted was that of a lunatic, this lady is very wise and I wish her good luck honestly.
also to OP’s point, mothering two kids is more work than mothering one, I know a few women who kept working after one kid but switched to being a SAHM after two or three kids
I feel so bad for Lizzy.I kind of wish that this girl could fight for custody over Lizzy.i know she can't,since she's technically not her biological mother,but it's still not fair to the little girl that she can't live with somebody that she truly loves,and somebody that's been an amazing mom to her,even if they hadn't actually given birth to her.Yet another example of why life can be so unfair at times.Hope Lizzy and the mom (+ the baby) are happy now,and that the husband realized that he was being totally unfair, and that he owned up for his shit.holy dina,that's a lotta words.
Honestly the fact that he's refusing to give his daughter The care she needs is disgusting he doesn't deserve that little girl. If this keeps up or gets worse you might end up getting full custody of her and he won't have either of his children. He needs to recognize that he has to shape up
I may be petty but i agree with his pov a bit, the reaction and anger and shouting and mistreating hell no but i get it, i mean i'd be a bit peeved about it but at this point like is said it'll benefit his kid now, also TWO WEEKS AFTER BIRTH? HE CAN GO KICK ROCKS.
I get why he was mad but it makes sense you change when you have a baby I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom until I had my baby so I see why she changed her mind
I hate when people act like not being a stay at home parent is such a terrible thing. There’s nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom but there’s nothing wrong with being a working mom either.
I can’t believe this, I have had a busy day but any free moment I got today went to watching this video. This gave me so much emotion, and I haven’t ever been through anything like this, so I don’t know why it went so deep into me, but, watching this, I felt so many things. I felt like crying at the sad parts, like screaming at the horrible parts, and it even gave me pride to watch the parts where the wife in this post explains, calm and collectively, that she will not be treated in this inhumane manner. It’s things like this that keeps my faith in humanity. Cheers, mate, you are an amazing women.
i hope lizzy is ok now, she has trauma at such a young age god bless that poor girl and the son and the mom
Girl, there is no reason for you to feel bad for that happening because he decided to make the decisions that he decided to make. I feel bad for the little girl what she’s going through but the thing is that you have to take care of yourself and he’s the one who’s going to cause problems for that little girl because of his choices I understand he is an opinion of you had a choice before why didn’t you choose to do that then, but if she was already in pre-K she wouldn’t be at home most of the time, so what would be the point of you staying home and for his family to yell at him for what happened and for him to still not click, and for therapist and other people to tell him and show him this opinion of what is right and what is wrong in this type of situation, narrowing it down from other families and stuff and for him to continuously not understand made me want to throw a chair at him because it’s late bro, you had the chance to be with a wonderful woman who is going to have a child with you and was loving to your other daughter from another woman and the child love this woman, and for him to decide that he wanted to stand firm on his opinion is crazy I understand he was like oh why wouldn’t you do this for her but you’re gonna do it for her son but it’s like the past in the past this is the present and she’s deciding to do it now now that little girl and her son we both have her at the house at all times so it’s like Bruh
I can understand to an extent of y he feels this way but when he asked her to be a sahm to his daughter his daughter was not an infant I’m not saying that bc she wasn’t an infant she doesn’t deserve a sahm I’m just saying that when you give birth to a child and u have to work many of those once in a lifetime things can be taken away from u I also think that it is super childish of him to try and force her to work in the name of being “fair” and for him not to try to resolve the problem just show as how far he was willing to go to get her to listen to him
While the husband is justified in how he feels I'm on the mother's side. He refuses to be an adult and rather destroy the family than not get his entire 100% way. I don't care what people say you are never going to have the same connection with a step-child then you will a biological child that you grew in your body. That does NOT mean either are loved more or less- you can have the same emotional level of connection with a step/adopted child as you would a biological! It's just actually different when you're pregnant with the child versus when you just enter their lives as adoptive or step parent... that literally does not and has never meant "I love this child less" jesus f. christ.
Side note: the explosive anger and going into hysterics followed by the "WAIT NO YOU CAN'T LEAVE we have a child please don't leave" really sounds like BPD to me especially when she's saying in her right/logical/reasonable mind he clearly has some deep seeded issues to work out
I'm not diagnosing anyone with BPD and this is just a guess as someone who has BPD and this is unfortunately a very real thing we can end up doing and the worst part is we have no idea we do it, and will believe the other person is the problem and we have absolutely nothing wrong with us while we're splitting- this is by no means an excuse for his behavior he seriously needs help or he will destroy the family bond for good
When I grew up, my mother made the same decision. After I, the 2nd child, was born, she decided to raise us as a SAHM. It was the best decision of her life. She got to experience the joy of her children’s love and the comfort of knowing she can shape our future.
Dude doesnt care for the children or his loved ones he just wants everything to be HIS way
meh just like my ex. tbh it was exhausting
It’s not real buddy😅
All right so what she should do is file for divorce but whenever they say it so what would you like to have say I'd like to have full custody of my child and if he says oh well she's my child then say she does not deserve to be manipulated about because you want to see me suffer so in conclusion sue his ass for full custody
having 1 vs having 2 children is different especially if both are still small. he is so unreasonable wtf, also if he thought about that dark thing for that long, damn he has some issues for real
no the husband did this to his family, like you have a new wife, just let go of the past, stop being too paranoid like that, poor Lizzy
Step parents who are solid rocks to their step kids are true hero’s! The fact that you don’t care it’s not your biological kid and you love them like it’s yours because you understand that the person you love comes with a cute little package deal is huge!
I don’t have any step parents but I grew up with friends who had cool step parents and they even treated their step kids friends as their own!
He's hopeless and greedy.
OP all you did was not take shit, You weren’t going to be treated a certain way or because your husband can’t tell the difference between something being fair and being different. Want to play the victim and act like ganging up on him is he wrong and everyone but him sees that.
Now he’s about to ruin his own child because he can’t just admit he was wrong , and thinks he can still guilt trip you for not doing what he wanted when he wanted it. Try to get the family to be more involved than that girl life so she doesn’t suffer because of her father, and keep talking to her so she knows that no matter what you’re there for her.
I think the husband while having a right to feel what he feels is definitely in the wrong here. I think the wife did everything right given the situation though she is the narrator so I can’t know if she left anything out but I doubt it.
What I think is most sad is that it sounds like the couples therapist wasn’t able to make the husband feel like he had someone on his side. I can understand not wanting to go to therapy when you feel like your therapist isn’t on your side or supporting you. If you are feeling paranoid and then have everyone you know side against you it makes sense that you would feel more paranoid and would double down. I feel bad for the husband and his daughter who is caught up in the situation. Good on the wife sticking up for herself and her family.
The fact that he wont even look after the mental health of Lizzy is heartbreaking. I hope lizzy comes out ok and gets counseling
Surveying this story, the woman handled the situation with calmness and used her brain. I am betting the father genuinely doesn't know he's doing something wrong. I have had that experience with my dad, he doesn't realise that he's being abusive, like genuinely. Those other people that need the most help
I'm just gonna say, you know you fucked up big time when the people who love you, have been hurt by someone else, but they STILL SUPPORT THAT SOMEONE ELSE
I feel so bad for the mom and Lizzy😭
I feel so bad for Lizzy to go through this, I truly wish that he comes to his senses and helps his daughter out. I send lots of love to you 💕
While the husband has the right to feel the way he does. It’s wild to me that he would trust someone else with his kid when his wife can take care of his son.
4:58 why is the text so fast!?!?!
Fr
It’s not real
Maybe she drank lots of coffee
For all on the dad's side you do realise that Lizzie was 4 and had no real need for a stay at home mom right? Y'all also realise that she isn't her's biologically and doesn't really need to take care of her but she does because she loves her husband.He married her to be his wife not a replacement mom.The guy is unhinged and I'm glad even his family can see it.I think he is facing the fact that he choose badly when it came to his daughter's mom abd now that he choose well his son is going to have an attentive and loving mom from the get go and he is ashamed his mistake cost his daughter the same.So now he's self sabotaging and taking it out on OP.Wow talk about an emotional MAN CHILD😢😢
I just pray that the baby and mother are healthy. I pray he comes around before it's too late.
I guess now she can’t be a stay a home mother anymore
I feel bad that I kinda for laughing a little bit at this
@@lilithli2690 the child support is for the child not the mother. Also if this dude makes enough to make her a sahm what makes you think he wouldn’t fight for 50/50 custody, thus lowering the child support amount. Also family support can only go so far because not every family would want a scream baby in their house. This is just a lose lose scenario for both parties.
@@lilithli2690Jesus how much is child support? lol enough to pay rent, bills, petrol, groceries, all baby products etc. dam! She could have been a stay at home mother so long as she left him, with a baby in tow.
Also unless the family is rich and kind. Financially supporting a single mother because she doesn’t want to work is huge lol.
@@cruzsolo44 In some countries, women are permitted to be full-time moms while the child is a baby (as in, they get money during that time, until they can return to work). I am not sure where this story takes place, but it is possible.
@@darklordsatan4383 this story is 9 years old. Too bad we don’t know if she stayed with him or not since she didn’t update anymore after the third update 9 years ago.
He’s being self destructive, I get that he wishes his daughter had the same treatment/opportunity, but it’s not like its too late for her to enjoy having a SAHM, his wife was literally offering it and he ended up depriving both his children of that opportunity.
his own daughter is even against him and she's so young, i hope Lizzy can get the support she deserves and needs because it's obvious her dad won't give it to her because his ego is so inflated he cant accept being wrong.
Why doesn't he become a stay at home dad? I can understand somewhat his point of view, thoigh. She didn't want to be a stay at home mom then but now she does. It sounds really crazy and at times I wonder if her spouse is or was abusive.
remeber. there is a special biological attachment to childern born from your own creation. its not somthing you can just have for any other kid. its somthing rooted into human biology. and she clearly loves Lizzy very much
some of these people in the comments DEFINITELY didn't watch the video😭🙏🏾
Agreed 👍
Specifically the people disagreeing with OP
@@gtdc4685 that and the people rage baiting💀
FR
@@gtdc4685Am I supposed to agree with parental favoritism? The husband is 12% right, but it's ignored. 😅
If anything, I think it is him with favoritism. He won’t listen to her when she is saying it will help with the baby AND Lizzie, but he just wants what is good for Lizzie. I’m not trying to criticize and I can see where that went wrong and how she sounded when she said she can be a stay at home mom, but even after a few days, he still carried it out. He was being a jerk and carried the fight out for a while, leading to his abusive and hurtful words. He tried kicking her out and when she decided to leave, he was hurt. I understand he took the message wrong, but even after marriage counseling and HIS OWN FAMILY explaining, he still didn’t care. My personal opinion is he wanted attention and what was best for Lizzie only, not his wife or his son.
(Also please, no one take this the wrong way. This is my personal opinion and I didn’t mean to offend anyone if I did)
The dad trying to claim "his daughter" didn't get a SAHM when she is literally offering to be one is laughable
I haven’t watched the full thing but I understand the husband’s perspective a lil bit ill edit if I disagree at the end
Edit: alr so yeah ops ex husband is a ah
man this wife is a girlboss
Yasssss❤❤
Run. People can change their mind for whatever reason. He’s unreasonable.
The newborn has to be at least 6 weeks old to go to daycare so I have no idea how shes supposed to go back to work in 2 weeks is insane? Who is going to take care of her son while she is at work???
These stories are addicting!
For people who came from shorts 0:18
The wife has made a serious point and that's what needs to be respected down the line plus being a SAHM to two children of different ages is totally different and always will be due to the fact that one is going to preschool and one is a newborn baby so that reality will change to a serious extent big time and there's no changing that reality ever.
This is such a shame. Imo the wife did everything right. I can understand the husband’s feelings but he single-handedly destroyed their family. The therapist gave so much good advice which he didn’t take because of “sides”? “Feeling ganged up on”? Its sad when families/ relationships are considered ‘sides’ when there should only be one: what is good for the sake of the family/ relationship. Instead he just didn’t want to be wrong despite everyone telling him otherwise.
Nahhhh that man is NOT safe. I would be GTFO the moment he started having his violent little tantrum. You don’t treat your partner like that.