My ESTP father's dad was an INTJ. I had no idea it was a pattern. It didn't go over well though. Basically hated each other. But I'm sure it all depends on their focus and other family dynamics. I was compatible with him and even I can say my grandfather was difficult to be around. He was incredibly stoic, very distant and seemed troubled. He was 7 when his parents died in the war and no one knows how he survived (he was in a forced labor camp) and he hardly spoke to anyone about it. He provided for his family financially and had a couple friends to drink and play chess with. I don't think he knew how to maintain serious relationships though. He was extremely paranoid and controlling to the point of preventing his wife from having a job so she'd have to stick around. I know you've said INTJs need both parents. I think losing them both really did a number on him and seriously harmed his ability to bond with others and thus parent as well.
Holy crap! You are so right about the oldest son always blaming their fathers. My INFJ oldest brother always blamed my dad for everyone; and myself as the lesser biased baby (an INTP) am trying so hard to convince him that it is his society/culture to blame
100% agree with you. As an INTJ, my mom is an ESTP and she did it on her own. I turned out to be a great kid and I’m really happy. My ESTP mom is very tough love and given my life experience I could have been way worse. Thank you so much with this video! So many INTJs with ESTP parents will relate to this.
@@sagaragarwal369 my ESTP mom always corrects me when it comes to my lack of compassion. She beats me up and tells me when I’m not a good person. Can relate
My bjj black belt professor is an estp and he is all over me when i use shortcuts or baits to advance my positions in matches- infj. He did help me to realise i was reinforcing bad habits by shortcutting even if he didnt say it in so many words.
@@qasimimtiaz9668 thinking outside of the box check. Being unexpected by seemingly pulling stuff out of thin air due to introverted intuition check. Understanding the inner workings of people or things check. I definitely agree with you
So, basicly the best parents for any type will be one, who is capable of disabling their child (professional compatibility like you said, perceptions functions are same but in opposite order and judging functions are different but in the same order), and other, who is capable of enabling their child (golden pair for child)? Also, I find this video pretty relatable as a first born INTJ, thanks Chase.
INTP here. My parents were good people, but they could’ve done a better job parenting me. One was way too strict and scary, and the other only have attention to one kid, my oldest brother
I'm an INTP and was born to an ESTJ father, so maybe that supports your hypothesis on highest working relationship compatibility types being born to each other. Also I've consistently noticed many sons have the same quadra as their mother and many daughters have the same quadras as their father but that's just my experience
I’m INTJ female (but I’m 20 so maybe I’m not idk. It’s only been stable INTJ for about 2 years) and I believe my mom was ISFP and like, I respect my mother very deeply as a person and I see that she really does her best but what bothers me is how she is always very nervous about me and has a tendency to underestimate me (in my opinion). Like, it hurts when I’m interested in something and I’ve motivated myself to become very very good at something and to acquire specialized knowledge, and then I tell her about it in a way where I’m just trying to gauge her thoughts and sort of welcome her to my world and interests, and she meets me with skepticism and discouragement, typically believing that I must be wrong or must be very bad at something for even thinking I’m good at it because she herself doesn’t understand it. She just assumes that there’s no way i could understand something if she doesn’t understand it even though I’ve put in the time and effort when she hasn’t because she just doesn’t share the interest. Like, she never was interested in teaching me anything. She kept me alive of course and I will always appreciate that and ultimately that is her job, but I wish she would have been a little more encouraging when I tried something new and found out I was good at it or liked it, even if she didn’t understand it. For example; im very into personal finance and economics, and im no professional by any means, but I have a strong desire to learn as much as posssible about these areas and so yea, I do invest my money and I take some level of risk with it because I can afford to because A) im only 20. And B) I have always been extremely good at making and managing money for myself, so I am financially prepared to lose everything I’ve invested and still be financially better off than most people. But my mom hears that I’ve invested money and since she doesn’t understand money, she assumes I must not know what im doing either and she thinks im going to lose all of my life savings and ruin my life, or that im some conspiracy theorist who is detached from reality, buying gold and silver and crypto when really im only buying enough so that I have a stake in it and im not actually investing all my money in it. Like, I have stocks and bonds too, I don’t engage in super risky investing behaviours. I buy to hold generally and I buy to learn since again… IM 20 LOL. Ugh yea anyway this was a whole tangent but my point is that yes I have lots to learn, but im not stupid and learning is extremely important here so I wish she would chill out a little bit and have a shred of faith in me. Idk, she just doesn’t tend to see the bigger picture and I assume that has to do with her type being ISFP. With my dad, I have no idea what he is. We are not close. I couldn’t guess. He’s probably a similar type to me though, I inherited a lot of striking personality similarities to him and other uncles on my paternal side.
Also just thinking I know a very sub focused ENTP whose mother is ISTJ. So that fits the theory. I think emotional compatibility is maybe important for sub focus. As it creatss a safe space for children to spring off of Gold silver bronze compatibility parents might also be likely to have sub focused child for the same reason but agree they would be more enabled etc
My parents consistently enable my and my brother's entitlement where all it did was inhibit my actual growth. Also too much freedom and choices given to me on the conditions of I have to take care of all of them is the reason I stay away from them and planning to do that forever.
PLEASE do a “what type is a good influence on a ESTJ male?” I’m a single INFP woman and I can’t even entertain another serious relationship unless that man would not be threatened by my son. He and I both respect each other well. I’m fascinated by him being a powerhouse and I study his behavior but I am still confused. I want to find him people that challenge him to let go of control sometimes. Maybe I need to find ESTJ’s to get to know on a personal level. This question is a loaded one but hopefully you can respond 🫶🏼
Don’t be envious of SD / UF Don’t ignore Fe child. No one’s life is more sunshine & rainbows, only perceptions of it. Just practice gratitude. The storms have already past, your stronger now. Use that fuel for gratitude, not envy.
Agree. I'm an ISFP and I look at ENFJs as really good mentors to me so I can see that. INFJs too (although these types are generally good mentors/teachers to everyone lol but still) Also Chase I can really see development/good use of Te critic in this video being used with healthy Ti parent. When you are talking about the dopamine and oxytocin theory (very interesting too), and calling it a theory/opinion and so being open to it being proved/disproven/tweaked etc. To me that's a great starting point for scientific research
¿Best romantic partner for an INTJ? Please. About this video. I was raised by an INFP mother (absent father) and that made my Fi so rich, and allowed me to develop some selftaught Fe traits.. My older brothers (more than 10yrs of difference) are INTP and ISFP: my brothers were my brothers. I learned so much about my ISFP older brother excessive Se errors, but never denied my Se. I copied Ti from my INTP brother and used his systematic appraoch towards life. An ESTP father would had made me very secure, with less overthinking bullshit, more physically and psychologically stronger. I had to take the long road mentally, thinking how could I be secure and more physical/action: I learned it with time, experience and lots of solid father figures and friends. This vid blew my mind and I certainly developed a lot STP traits that gave me strength to live better and more carelessly and logical. So, CS Joseph is accurate with this. Only as a comment: the only weakness i see with a ESTP father is an underdeveloped Fi, btw. Regards, from an 8w7 INTJ.
Cool vid, thank you again Chase. Born to two ISFJ's was fantastic until I hit puberty. By age 21 I left the house but couldn't even do laundry, cooking, never went to gym, was a very gullible gamer soyboy and felt five years behind in social development compared to other students. Having an intense friendship with an ESTP taught me a lot about reality, red pill, who is fake and who is real, tactics and has gotten me enough adventures for a memorable biography or Netflix documentary later. But now in my 30's I seek new teachers. I am growing apart from the ESTP's (3x, male and female) and I want to get my business and investments in order. And they can hustle but they don't understand investment at all. So now I'm being taught by an ENTJ into the big world of finance, who is taking me under his wings and lifting me up. Also getting me to perform and criticize but this criticism is on the work and not on the person. I think the ESTPs liked me much more in my ESFP subconscious development and they could use their INFJ subconscious to help me build character. But now it's a clash of ISTJ/ENTP unconscious there's no connection, no love, just coldness. Finally with regards to society and fathers are being blamed, well, in the west men allowed their society to become soft. Tate is extreme but he has a point with Islam staying strong and Christianity weakening to the point of collapse. I moved to Japan where fathers are still respected and it taught me a lot about the west too.
@@CSJoseph to what certainty? Most studies with parents/kids types are very limited datasets to the point it's risky to extrapolate it to draw conclusions.
I think ESFP as a parent for INTJ types is good. I'm watching this right now, and the ESFP has a good mix of Se and responsible Fi. This causes the INTJ to be forced into experiences, but in a really gentle responsible way. Because, they can't avoid life indefinitely. I don't care how much hate giving that push makes.
To be honest I would have thought the same way. Especially when Case brought the fact that parents are disappointed of the decisions of there children. So wouldn't the same judging functions lead to a better understanding? Also at some point he said that fathers always project their subconscious on their sons. But on the other hand I see my Te-Fi dominant family and it is not really good to have so many of the same judging functions in the same room. E.g political discussions on the breakfast tables, what is your reference?, this isn't a trustworthy reference!, and at some point everyone is hurting the feelings of another person and act childish when their feelings are hurt. So a little bit Fe would be really helpful there.
@@KadlinAlfadasdottir Thinking about it now, the estp and intj have perfectly compatible parent/child functions. Estp with Ti parent and Fe child and intj with Te parent and Fi child. Having the same perception functions with compatible parent/child judging functions makes logical sense with a parent child relationship. As punishment for my wrong analysis, I'm going to drink pure gasoline. Jk
Dude NO!! I have an esfp father and there were so many problems in our relationship. He thought everything I said was joke worthy. Never took my ambitions or goals seriously. Mocked me and my interests. Wasn’t a strong masculine figure. Got in emotional arguments with me all throughout my childhood. Literally argued with a 7 year old. He couldn’t make a decision to save his life. Backed down from confrontation constantly. Didn’t teach me or my brother discipline, let my little brother be addicted to video games/technology. Accused me of being the following: insensitive, racist, homophobic. Not even exaggerating. Those were his choice of words. Forced me to go to therapy when I was 11 years old because he said the doctor diagnosed me with ADHD and autism. Left me and my brother up to our own devices throughout our teenage years and somewhat when we were 10-12. He didn’t give us any guidance or advice. Basically just wanted to “have fun” and be chill all the time.
Great Video. It makea total sense to me that ESTPs are fantastic fathers to INTJs.. But I wonder if you have also seen ISTP fathers as well,. Because that is my situation. My father is an ISTP for sure, and my mom is an ISFP. Very much a Pragmatic family structure, which makes things problematic for my poor ENFJ younger brother. 😅
You spoke about ' Treat your first born with higher honour' Now what happens if your first born is an INTJ and you treat him/her better aren't we enabling the fi child?
ESTP dad as well. A lot of what you mentioned in terms of the theory of how how are relationship could work well was true in my case. unfortunately though we don’t have any sort of compatibility or connection with each other and i honestly try to stay as far away from him as possible. he seems to only live to serve his ego with no moral code and i have no respect for him and my ISFJ mother just seems to enable him. me and my brother believe he is a narcissist so it’s probably just more about that. He did at least show me how to not be a wimp and work for what you want which I am grateful for. Just wanted to throw another data point out there and thanks for the video it was super insightful.
I think it is possible to be a good parent to a golden pair but it depends strongly on your approach, (like you said, you are a parent not a pal), and what/who is going on around you. But this is based on self-typing, which of course may not be accurate.
Yeah entirely agree although I'm going to add another layer to it depends on the person's cognitive focus and how well the child and parent will communicate. for example, I'm most likely UD/UF I have no Se which can be difficult to be around ESTP and be forced to do physical tasks or just share your thoughts and my father is SD/UF so he constantly projecting ISTJ on me how I supposed to act with his Si nemesis it can be difficult to deal with. another example is my uncle he is UD/SF and our communication is so much clearer and more natural without anyone trying to act just to predict what other person will behave like. What I'm trying to say this type is the best optimal parent but it depends on the cognitive focus on both sides. From my experienced SF is more likely to communicate with UF rather than when both people are shadow focused
Don't you think telling them they need to perform better, they need to do it again, more practice,until they perfect it again and again will just make the intj insecure and make them feel like they will never be enough for their parent , most likely will start to even resent the parent and start hating them and cut them off from their life thinking they were toxic which is what any sane person would think if you are told so many times you are not good enough , spending a life full trying to get a form of acceptance from parents who might never grant it doesn't seem so much like the parent you would look up to , this is a bad idea.
So the best one to parent any type, not just the INTJ, is with their Cohort relationship type or does the Pedagogue also count depending on the cognitive focus ?
ESFJ mom and INTJ dad (mistyped him as istp lol but no) and ENFP brother - INFP Maybe intjs are too batshit crazy to not get parented by estps and vice versa.
Does this happen a lot to the other types? For example, do ESFPs often have INFJ children and vice versa? Do ENTPs often have ISTJ children and vice versa?
If I may ask, is the parent ISFJ assertive (shadow) or aspirational (subconscious) because if the ISFJ aspirational is matured enough (3rd quarter life crisis) it adapts a pseudo-ESTP mindset
lol same with my ISFJ mom. i think she truly loves me and i love her back but it’s hard for us to connect most of the time. We both have somewhat of a stronger moral code than the other members of our family so we can always find common ground on that front at least.
@@TokyoTaisu maybe the intj incapable of understanding sensors and they could not care less because they think they are superior which is really non sense especially if they verify reality. For example if you are the intj and you are a taxi driver and some sensor is the passanger the intj must adapt to fit the customer needs and not the other way around.
Hmm. Well my husband and I have 5 kids and our oldest is an INTJ. They are all different types. I’m an infp and my husband is an enfj… we have a very hard time with him. Love him of course but he’s kind of a jerk. We aren’t sure how to reach him cause he does look down on both of us a lot.
I think ego focused NTJs just shouldn't be fit to be parents, since they have prolly the highest predisposal to be the worst parents ever. They leave nothing but trauma and child neglect behind and they don't even know about it. So clueless to what others want or feel.
@@aladdout9454 Ehh but ISTPs would feel alot of guilt for neglecting the child, because of Fe. INTJs don't really feel guilty. And besides ISTPs have an ENFJ subconscious, they can be the best teachers for their child.
@@duckbacon3117 you can say that about any other type too. That only if this person gets some growth done they can be the best type. Istps have a tendency to be depressed but they also take it out on others. They seem to suck upto their friends circle/coworkers and get absolutely annoyed by the mere presence of their family(the one they started). They can also be a horrible husband to your mother which can ruin childhood. It doesn't help that a lot of them are either alcoholics or drug addicts making their rage worse. I am saying all this only cuz i have this istp father. So its not like all istps are like that but my view on them is this cuz thats what ive seen. I remember csj once saying that drinking in front of your kids is bad and shouldn't happen, yeah teach that to my father. Even if he does nothing will change cuz my mom's life is ruined
I would have thought an INTJ would be good at parenting an INTJ, since they can literally just share what they have already learnt about living life as an INTJ, with their child, in order to boost the development of said child. Also if they try to live vicariously through their child, trying to get them to act as an ESFP, the INTJ child would be forced to develop their subconscious, and they would be a lot happier as a result. Other than that... don't mind me, just looking for Jimmy. 👀
Genetic? Doubtful. Studies show most things are in the single digit percentages as far as genetic hand me downsMy assumptions is due to epigenetic variables. How about a simple magnet affect polarity negative and positive
My ESTP father's dad was an INTJ. I had no idea it was a pattern. It didn't go over well though. Basically hated each other. But I'm sure it all depends on their focus and other family dynamics. I was compatible with him and even I can say my grandfather was difficult to be around. He was incredibly stoic, very distant and seemed troubled. He was 7 when his parents died in the war and no one knows how he survived (he was in a forced labor camp) and he hardly spoke to anyone about it. He provided for his family financially and had a couple friends to drink and play chess with. I don't think he knew how to maintain serious relationships though. He was extremely paranoid and controlling to the point of preventing his wife from having a job so she'd have to stick around. I know you've said INTJs need both parents. I think losing them both really did a number on him and seriously harmed his ability to bond with others and thus parent as well.
Holy crap! You are so right about the oldest son always blaming their fathers. My INFJ oldest brother always blamed my dad for everyone; and myself as the lesser biased baby (an INTP) am trying so hard to convince him that it is his society/culture to blame
100% agree with you. As an INTJ, my mom is an ESTP and she did it on her own. I turned out to be a great kid and I’m really happy. My ESTP mom is very tough love and given my life experience I could have been way worse.
Thank you so much with this video! So many INTJs with ESTP parents will relate to this.
Estps are pretty brutal tho.
Yes my dad and brother are estps they tell me all the time that I should give a f about others also
@@sagaragarwal369 my ESTP mom always corrects me when it comes to my lack of compassion. She beats me up and tells me when I’m not a good person. Can relate
@@qasimimtiaz9668 they sure are!
@@feliciaspeaks8663 they love twerking on me at the club tho.
I'm an INTJ with an ESFJ dad and ENFP mom. I love them so much and they did a great job raising me.
My bjj black belt professor is an estp and he is all over me when i use shortcuts or baits to advance my positions in matches- infj. He did help me to realise i was reinforcing bad habits by shortcutting even if he didnt say it in so many words.
Infjs and intjs are best at mind games when it come to martial arts in my opinion.
@@qasimimtiaz9668 thinking outside of the box check. Being unexpected by seemingly pulling stuff out of thin air due to introverted intuition check. Understanding the inner workings of people or things check. I definitely agree with you
So, basicly the best parents for any type will be one, who is capable of disabling their child (professional compatibility like you said, perceptions functions are same but in opposite order and judging functions are different but in the same order), and other, who is capable of enabling their child (golden pair for child)?
Also, I find this video pretty relatable as a first born INTJ, thanks Chase.
You get what you get in life. No one promised things to work
@@infdox9051 That's not the American way!
@@RandolphTheWhite1 brats
INTP here. My parents were good people, but they could’ve done a better job parenting me. One was way too strict and scary, and the other only have attention to one kid, my oldest brother
I really appreciate your videos. They really help people make sense of what’s going on in their lives
The attachment neural transmitters are the endorphins, and dopamine also players a vital role.
I'm an INTP and was born to an ESTJ father, so maybe that supports your hypothesis on highest working relationship compatibility types being born to each other. Also I've consistently noticed many sons have the same quadra as their mother and many daughters have the same quadras as their father but that's just my experience
I'm an INFJ daughter to a ENFJ father
I am also an INTP with an ESTJ mom. Thats so fascinating
I figured the best type would be a more mature INTJ.
I’m INTJ female (but I’m 20 so maybe I’m not idk. It’s only been stable INTJ for about 2 years) and I believe my mom was ISFP and like, I respect my mother very deeply as a person and I see that she really does her best but what bothers me is how she is always very nervous about me and has a tendency to underestimate me (in my opinion). Like, it hurts when I’m interested in something and I’ve motivated myself to become very very good at something and to acquire specialized knowledge, and then I tell her about it in a way where I’m just trying to gauge her thoughts and sort of welcome her to my world and interests, and she meets me with skepticism and discouragement, typically believing that I must be wrong or must be very bad at something for even thinking I’m good at it because she herself doesn’t understand it. She just assumes that there’s no way i could understand something if she doesn’t understand it even though I’ve put in the time and effort when she hasn’t because she just doesn’t share the interest. Like, she never was interested in teaching me anything. She kept me alive of course and I will always appreciate that and ultimately that is her job, but I wish she would have been a little more encouraging when I tried something new and found out I was good at it or liked it, even if she didn’t understand it. For example; im very into personal finance and economics, and im no professional by any means, but I have a strong desire to learn as much as posssible about these areas and so yea, I do invest my money and I take some level of risk with it because I can afford to because A) im only 20. And B) I have always been extremely good at making and managing money for myself, so I am financially prepared to lose everything I’ve invested and still be financially better off than most people. But my mom hears that I’ve invested money and since she doesn’t understand money, she assumes I must not know what im doing either and she thinks im going to lose all of my life savings and ruin my life, or that im some conspiracy theorist who is detached from reality, buying gold and silver and crypto when really im only buying enough so that I have a stake in it and im not actually investing all my money in it. Like, I have stocks and bonds too, I don’t engage in super risky investing behaviours. I buy to hold generally and I buy to learn since again… IM 20 LOL. Ugh yea anyway this was a whole tangent but my point is that yes I have lots to learn, but im not stupid and learning is extremely important here so I wish she would chill out a little bit and have a shred of faith in me. Idk, she just doesn’t tend to see the bigger picture and I assume that has to do with her type being ISFP. With my dad, I have no idea what he is. We are not close. I couldn’t guess. He’s probably a similar type to me though, I inherited a lot of striking personality similarities to him and other uncles on my paternal side.
Fuck my dad’s an INTJ 💀 -ESTP
I'm a first born ISFP. Definitely alot of childhood trauma and bs I'm recovering from
My ESTP cousin gave birth to a INTJ girl and a INTP son (He could be a ENTP) Crazy how that works.
Also just thinking I know a very sub focused ENTP whose mother is ISTJ. So that fits the theory. I think emotional compatibility is maybe important for sub focus. As it creatss a safe space for children to spring off of
Gold silver bronze compatibility parents might also be likely to have sub focused child for the same reason but agree they would be more enabled etc
My parents consistently enable my and my brother's entitlement where all it did was inhibit my actual growth.
Also too much freedom and choices given to me on the conditions of I have to take care of all of them is the reason I stay away from them and planning to do that forever.
As a child I was granted absolute freedom but my mom would happily take it away to lean this dynamic was healthy
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Chase. To be honest everything sounds very reasonable to me 👏😊
PLEASE do a “what type is a good influence on a ESTJ male?” I’m a single INFP woman and I can’t even entertain another serious relationship unless that man would not be threatened by my son. He and I both respect each other well. I’m fascinated by him being a powerhouse and I study his behavior but I am still confused. I want to find him people that challenge him to let go of control sometimes. Maybe I need to find ESTJ’s to get to know on a personal level. This question is a loaded one but hopefully you can respond 🫶🏼
In the Hawkeye show, the girl is an ENTJ and Hawkeye is an ISTP. Pretty much like a father daughter interaction, without actually being related
Don’t be envious of SD / UF Don’t ignore Fe child. No one’s life is more sunshine & rainbows, only perceptions of it. Just practice gratitude. The storms have already past, your stronger now. Use that fuel for gratitude, not envy.
Agree. I'm an ISFP and I look at ENFJs as really good mentors to me so I can see that. INFJs too (although these types are generally good mentors/teachers to everyone lol but still)
Also Chase I can really see development/good use of Te critic in this video being used with healthy Ti parent. When you are talking about the dopamine and oxytocin theory (very interesting too), and calling it a theory/opinion and so being open to it being proved/disproven/tweaked etc. To me that's a great starting point for scientific research
My mom's an INFP and my dad's an ESTJ and I'm an INTJ.
What does it look like?
@@pinklasagna8328 what does what look like?
¿Best romantic partner for an INTJ? Please.
About this video. I was raised by an INFP mother (absent father) and that made my Fi so rich, and allowed me to develop some selftaught Fe traits.. My older brothers (more than 10yrs of difference) are INTP and ISFP: my brothers were my brothers.
I learned so much about my ISFP older brother excessive Se errors, but never denied my Se. I copied Ti from my INTP brother and used his systematic appraoch towards life.
An ESTP father would had made me very secure, with less overthinking bullshit, more physically and psychologically stronger. I had to take the long road mentally, thinking how could I be secure and more physical/action: I learned it with time, experience and lots of solid father figures and friends.
This vid blew my mind and I certainly developed a lot STP traits that gave me strength to live better and more carelessly and logical. So, CS Joseph is accurate with this.
Only as a comment: the only weakness i see with a ESTP father is an underdeveloped Fi, btw.
Regards, from an 8w7 INTJ.
Entp
Enfp
Esfj
Cool vid, thank you again Chase.
Born to two ISFJ's was fantastic until I hit puberty. By age 21 I left the house but couldn't even do laundry, cooking, never went to gym, was a very gullible gamer soyboy and felt five years behind in social development compared to other students. Having an intense friendship with an ESTP taught me a lot about reality, red pill, who is fake and who is real, tactics and has gotten me enough adventures for a memorable biography or Netflix documentary later.
But now in my 30's I seek new teachers. I am growing apart from the ESTP's (3x, male and female) and I want to get my business and investments in order. And they can hustle but they don't understand investment at all. So now I'm being taught by an ENTJ into the big world of finance, who is taking me under his wings and lifting me up. Also getting me to perform and criticize but this criticism is on the work and not on the person. I think the ESTPs liked me much more in my ESFP subconscious development and they could use their INFJ subconscious to help me build character. But now it's a clash of ISTJ/ENTP unconscious there's no connection, no love, just coldness.
Finally with regards to society and fathers are being blamed, well, in the west men allowed their society to become soft. Tate is extreme but he has a point with Islam staying strong and Christianity weakening to the point of collapse. I moved to Japan where fathers are still respected and it taught me a lot about the west too.
PS - wouldn't be surprised if my mother cheated on my father with an ESTP. I'm second child and my father is a very nice, loving but beta male.
I doubt you were born to two IsFJs, doesn’t happen
@@CSJoseph to what certainty? Most studies with parents/kids types are very limited datasets to the point it's risky to extrapolate it to draw conclusions.
@@CSJoseph ah wait I get it now, thanks. The alpha fucks and the beta bucks. Maybe one day I'll find my biological father by some DNA test.
@@CSJoseph I’m born to a ESFJ and ESTJ lol.
I have an ESTP dad and an INFJ mom. I’m an ENTJ and my brother is an ENFJ. Not exactly the most optimal, especially for my brother.
I think ESFP as a parent for INTJ types is good. I'm watching this right now, and the ESFP has a good mix of Se and responsible Fi. This causes the INTJ to be forced into experiences, but in a really gentle responsible way. Because, they can't avoid life indefinitely. I don't care how much hate giving that push makes.
To be honest I would have thought the same way. Especially when Case brought the fact that parents are disappointed of the decisions of there children. So wouldn't the same judging functions lead to a better understanding? Also at some point he said that fathers always project their subconscious on their sons.
But on the other hand I see my Te-Fi dominant family and it is not really good to have so many of the same judging functions in the same room. E.g political discussions on the breakfast tables, what is your reference?, this isn't a trustworthy reference!, and at some point everyone is hurting the feelings of another person and act childish when their feelings are hurt.
So a little bit Fe would be really helpful there.
@@KadlinAlfadasdottir Thinking about it now, the estp and intj have perfectly compatible parent/child functions. Estp with Ti parent and Fe child and intj with Te parent and Fi child. Having the same perception functions with compatible parent/child judging functions makes logical sense with a parent child relationship.
As punishment for my wrong analysis, I'm going to drink pure gasoline. Jk
I think the INTJ would grow to think that the ESFP is irresponsie and unreliable
Dude NO!! I have an esfp father and there were so many problems in our relationship. He thought everything I said was joke worthy. Never took my ambitions or goals seriously. Mocked me and my interests. Wasn’t a strong masculine figure. Got in emotional arguments with me all throughout my childhood. Literally argued with a 7 year old. He couldn’t make a decision to save his life. Backed down from confrontation constantly. Didn’t teach me or my brother discipline, let my little brother be addicted to video games/technology. Accused me of being the following: insensitive, racist, homophobic. Not even exaggerating. Those were his choice of words. Forced me to go to therapy when I was 11 years old because he said the doctor diagnosed me with ADHD and autism. Left me and my brother up to our own devices throughout our teenage years and somewhat when we were 10-12. He didn’t give us any guidance or advice. Basically just wanted to “have fun” and be chill all the time.
@@LittleMew133yes this is exactly right
Great Video. It makea total sense to me that ESTPs are fantastic fathers to INTJs.. But I wonder if you have also seen ISTP fathers as well,. Because that is my situation.
My father is an ISTP for sure, and my mom is an ISFP. Very much a Pragmatic family structure, which makes things problematic for my poor ENFJ younger brother. 😅
You spoke about ' Treat your first born with higher honour'
Now what happens if your first born is an INTJ and you treat him/her better aren't we enabling the fi child?
Parent them, but still honor them.
ESTP dad as well. A lot of what you mentioned in terms of the theory of how how are relationship could work well was true in my case.
unfortunately though we don’t have any sort of compatibility or connection with each other and i honestly try to stay as far away from him as possible. he seems to only live to serve his ego with no moral code and i have no respect for him and my ISFJ mother just seems to enable him. me and my brother believe he is a narcissist so it’s probably just more about that.
He did at least show me how to not be a wimp and work for what you want which I am grateful for.
Just wanted to throw another data point out there and thanks for the video it was super insightful.
what is the best type for infj ?
Esfp
I think it is possible to be a good parent to a golden pair but it depends strongly on your approach, (like you said, you are a parent not a pal), and what/who is going on around you. But this is based on self-typing, which of course may not be accurate.
Yeah entirely agree although I'm going to add another layer to it depends on the person's cognitive focus and how well the child and parent will communicate. for example, I'm most likely UD/UF I have no Se which can be difficult to be around ESTP and be forced to do physical tasks or just share your thoughts and my father is SD/UF so he constantly projecting ISTJ on me how I supposed to act with his Si nemesis it can be difficult to deal with. another example is my uncle he is UD/SF and our communication is so much clearer and more natural without anyone trying to act just to predict what other person will behave like. What I'm trying to say this type is the best optimal parent but it depends on the cognitive focus on both sides. From my experienced SF is more likely to communicate with UF rather than when both people are shadow focused
Thanks for saying that about firstborns. I really appreciate that.
First born content sounds like a great topic
Lol, I like the random places you choose to record in XD
Yeah?
Im an INTJ and one of my best friends is an ESTP
same here
Don't you think telling them they need to perform better, they need to do it again, more practice,until they perfect it again and again will just make the intj insecure and make them feel like they will never be enough for their parent , most likely will start to even resent the parent and start hating them and cut them off from their life thinking they were toxic which is what any sane person would think if you are told so many times you are not good enough , spending a life full trying to get a form of acceptance from parents who might never grant it doesn't seem so much like the parent you would look up to , this is a bad idea.
I always wondered how my ISTJ mom created an INFJ and an INTP (me). Now question is how common is this?
I'm an INFJ daughter to an ISTJ mother, dad was ENFJ though
So the best one to parent any type, not just the INTJ, is with their Cohort relationship type or does the Pedagogue also count depending on the cognitive focus ?
ENTJ father and INFP mother.
ENTJ’s and INFP’s being together is overrated
@@zenithgreyhatENTJ why's that?
@@zenithgreyhatENTJ pedagogue is mostly overrated.
I’m intj with ESFJ mum and ESTJ dad. I get enabled too much.
Wait ESTJ dad and enabling? How!?
@@TokyoTaisu Ne child.
@@TokyoTaisu estjs are actually lot more optimistic than ESFJs lol
@@qasimimtiaz9668 ah I see, interesting
@@TokyoTaisu to be honest, my dad enable me more cause Fe demon doesn’t care if what I want would have negative emotional impact on others.
Another great lecture. Also in Socionics ISTPs benefit INTJs. Probably for the reasons you mentioned about ESTPs benefitting them here.
ESFJ mom and INTJ dad (mistyped him as istp lol but no) and ENFP brother - INFP
Maybe intjs are too batshit crazy to not get parented by estps and vice versa.
Does this happen a lot to the other types? For example, do ESFPs often have INFJ children and vice versa? Do ENTPs often have ISTJ children and vice versa?
I’m INTJ and my parents are ESFP and ISFJ. I love them dearly and they are so well meaning but holy cow they do not understand me 😂
Yeah sensors are incapable of understanding the INTJ, they just couldn't care less.
If I may ask, is the parent ISFJ assertive (shadow) or aspirational (subconscious) because if the ISFJ aspirational is matured enough (3rd quarter life crisis) it adapts a pseudo-ESTP mindset
lol same with my ISFJ mom. i think she truly loves me and i love her back but it’s hard for us to connect most of the time. We both have somewhat of a stronger moral code than the other members of our family so we can always find common ground on that front at least.
@@TokyoTaisu maybe the intj incapable of understanding sensors and they could not care less because they think they are superior which is really non sense especially if they verify reality. For example if you are the intj and you are a taxi driver and some sensor is the passanger the intj must adapt to fit the customer needs and not the other way around.
My parents are the same types!! Yeah I feel that being a shadow focused entp lol
Hmm. Well my husband and I have 5 kids and our oldest is an INTJ. They are all different types. I’m an infp and my husband is an enfj… we have a very hard time with him. Love him of course but he’s kind of a jerk. We aren’t sure how to reach him cause he does look down on both of us a lot.
I think ego focused NTJs just shouldn't be fit to be parents, since they have prolly the highest predisposal to be the worst parents ever. They leave nothing but trauma and child neglect behind and they don't even know about it. So clueless to what others want or feel.
Wow not you trowing NTJs under the bus based out of … what?
@@Seljhbff Pragmatic, Direct, Ni over Se, Ne nemesis/critic, Fe trickster/demon
I'm willing to bet its actually istps, the worst parents.
@@aladdout9454 Ehh but ISTPs would feel alot of guilt for neglecting the child, because of Fe. INTJs don't really feel guilty. And besides ISTPs have an ENFJ subconscious, they can be the best teachers for their child.
@@duckbacon3117 you can say that about any other type too. That only if this person gets some growth done they can be the best type. Istps have a tendency to be depressed but they also take it out on others. They seem to suck upto their friends circle/coworkers and get absolutely annoyed by the mere presence of their family(the one they started). They can also be a horrible husband to your mother which can ruin childhood. It doesn't help that a lot of them are either alcoholics or drug addicts making their rage worse. I am saying all this only cuz i have this istp father. So its not like all istps are like that but my view on them is this cuz thats what ive seen.
I remember csj once saying that drinking in front of your kids is bad and shouldn't happen, yeah teach that to my father. Even if he does nothing will change cuz my mom's life is ruined
I would have thought an INTJ would be good at parenting an INTJ, since they can literally just share what they have already learnt about living life as an INTJ, with their child, in order to boost the development of said child. Also if they try to live vicariously through their child, trying to get them to act as an ESFP, the INTJ child would be forced to develop their subconscious, and they would be a lot happier as a result.
Other than that... don't mind me, just looking for Jimmy. 👀
No, this is a bad idea
@@CSJoseph Lol
SD SF or SD UF does seem enviable compared to UD UF. So what would be the advantage of UD UF compared to the others?
There really isn’t one
My dad is a INTJ and I'm an INFP
That sounds quite cool I hope my daughter turns out INFP that would be fun
I am an infp My dad is also an intj ( i mistyped him as an istp but lol)
@@pinklasagna8328 and how is it ?
Best parent is subconscious.
Born into an intj with superiority complex 😢
Traumatized 😂
Trained myself through estps
uduf octagram?
It’s our enneagram, become a member to find out more
I see what you do 😉
You manage to convince everyone the way astrologers do 😅
~ yours mischievously
your shadow 😜
Hye chase, it's corn!
11:06
I'm an entj and my dad is an istp...
Wow , how is it ? Does he use si easily for you and you ne for him ?
My mom is ESFJ
Very true chase estp are direct and they strengthen a person's character
what the heck is scsf sduf type ?????
Octogram
Sduf subconscious developed unconcious focused
Genetic? Doubtful. Studies show most things are in the single digit percentages as far as genetic hand me downsMy assumptions is due to epigenetic variables. How about a simple magnet affect polarity negative and positive
Is this why ESTP women with daddy issues are drawn to me? They want to be fathered? 🤔
Ahhhh interesting question. I have this ESTP chick with serious daddy issues too.
@@TokyoTaisu lol
@@qasimimtiaz9668 you spank them too? lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Enabling anyone is fucking gross.
So is swearing imo.
@gugahaker I said imo.
@gugahaker Correct
Esfj ?
Yikes
Nah, too much enablement unless have a Templar partner
Nah the ESFJ wants to shape the INTJ to be like him. The ESTP at least leaves the INTJ to figure it out themselves.
Firstborn don't deserve special treatment, every child should be treated equally
It’s precisely because of this statement that the first born suffers the most.
@@CSJoseph That statement makes no sense
@@ashuranero5721 I am willing to wager you are not a first born
@@sreeramoffcl Obvious
@@Gjakdjruknownhpjs So do the youngest
Dude U talk to much about yourself instead to antswear the question. I did not finish this video, to much bla-bla-bla for an INTJ