"When you're arrogant, people want to tear you down, but when you're humble, people want to raise you up" This doesn't sound completely true to me. As an INTJ, my experience has been that half the time when I showed sympathy, people would just say that I wasn't doing it in the right way, or saw it as a moment of weakness and tried to tear me down. Only when I make my competence clear and become emotionless and cold do I get any respect. I am open to criticism, as I always want to improve. But people think introverts are weak and will take advantage of how timid we initially come off. I'm tired of it.
I think there is a "socially acceptable humility" that is neither vulnerability ( that is basically showing people your true feeling and it's not recomended) or doing too many favours to others or feeling inferior. It' s more like being able to keep an " approachable " self image and giving off an " i am neither better or worse than you" vibe , i don't know if it makes sense XD
depends on the people you are hanging around. Im my experience humbleness is really effective with people you are working long-term. Because initially they may think you are incompetent, but when they just see you producing result after result AND STILL BE HUMBLE about it, they will lift you up.
I am an INTJ raised by a narcissistic ESFP who expected me to mirror her behavior. As long as I did, I got along relatively okay. As soon as I dropped that and became myself, I realized I don't like people in general and they only like me when I pretend to be someone else. I find people exhausting and unrewarding. They are punitive if you do not wish to engage.
I had the exact same thing happening to me im not kidding, what i did was stop giving a shit about people and just doing mi own and soon people who never respected me started to do it, and i stoped giving then the respect that thay didnt deserve.
Karen Doyle we both cursed with Ni which is insanely difficult to manage and function like a normal adult. I feel that I finally reached adulthood at 40
As an INTJ I secretly like people, but then I start engaging with others and trying to understand others but when I demand for the same thing back, they don’t want to be changed while they themselves expect you to change. So I give up. I’d rather be liked by a select few who like me for me then be liked by lots of people and slowly chip away at my personality
For me it's like I like people, as long as they aren't too close to me. I prefer when they mostly ignore me and I mostly ignore them. I don't want people harmed, just not near me
- Oh no, believe me I do, stop pretending. You might look like an asshole to lots of other people, but maybe these are not the people you should stick to in the first place. Those, who are meant to notice who you are, will notice and appreciate you for the person you are, but be courageous enough to accept and actually deal with it. At least, I've been there several times and I always ended up discovering, that INTJs are pretty much the biggest sweethearts out there. Yours sincerely, an INFP :)
Overall, INTJ's are pretty "dope," as you would say. They're brave enough to tell you your idea sucks, but they also have a romantic, altruistic, and philosophical core that's really attuned to wanting to do what's right. I knew one INTJ who described himself as a "warrior poet." Fierce yet romantic.
Ime, they have their own ideas of "doing what's right" and that can be totally opposite to what most people would think of as right. They may not offer to tell you that they hold different ethical values either, so you can be badly hurt.
@@andreagreenwood93 - I got that insight the hard way. I would advise any woman in love with an INTJ to ask questions, lots of them. For one example, do not assume they use the same definition of "cheating" that everyone else does. Don't accept vague answers either, because even simple words may not mean what you think they do.
Lightgrey, don't sweat it too much. A lot of us INTJ's probably don't receive such sentiments often. My hope is that the ones, nearest you, demonstrate just how appreciated you are, in kind.
Why do people dislike INTJs? The world thrives in self deprecation, and INTJs don't do that. Even when INTJs show love and gratitude, they are still hated because they aren't doing it the way they are EXPECTED to.
My brother is a 34 year old INTJ. He is very independent in his head and at times in practice, but expects everyone to take care of him like he's entitled to it or something. I've given him years of sound advice to get out and explore the world and gain experiences. I'm an INTP, so it hits him deep down inside his insecure core when I lay it out straight forward, but he would never accept that I, or likely anyone, has anything of real value when it comes to intelligence. Perhaps I'm just not 'doing it the way he EXPECTS it to be.' He's adamant about having seen the world and experienced it all, though he's only lived with our mother or father, with the exception of sleeping on so-called friends' couches for several month stretches while they take advantage of him and coax him into doing stupid shit. He is super arrogant, even acknowledging it at times......with more arrogance. I love him.....but I don't know what to do anymore but to distance myself from him as much as possible and let his arrogance figure it out. Outside of this, he is very intelligent, but almost always omits, ignores, or otherwise disregards fundamental or crucial information to manifest his visions/innovations. If I try to suggest ideas, he's very confrontational and/or doubles down. Other INTJs I know are basically similar, although not as "bad." How is this some "master race" bullshit many of you talk about? It's pathetic. It's so much lost potential. I have my own bullshit, but I try. I played sports, I joined the military at 17 just to get the hell out of the house and out into the world, I lift weights and eat relatively healthy, I try to engage with the world and understand others better, etc. He and I could really do some damage if some of these things were addressed. But I'm exhausted giving a damn.
My intj son was misunderstood from the age of 2 on. I get him. I am an infj. I also am not bothered by his lack of sympathy. I knew how he got there. He will call me back and tell me he is sorry for xyz. Because I am not demanding his gratitude and sympathy. He is very loyal and trustworthy. If an intj trusts you . It is a great person you get. Not everyone is privileged with that.
I'm an intj with an infj daughter. She has always been my most challenging child. The one thing I did was always love her. Yes it was hard for me because I have high expectations for my children. But I refused to give up on her. I just figured do everything I could for her so that I know I did everything I could. And if there's anyone in this world I love it's my children. Watching this video I know I'm a humble intj. I have dealt with severe abuse as a child and young adult. I never thought about it until now. But it gives me more understanding of myself. But I love infjs. Good job momma.
I have an infj pops and our relationship is very similar. Infj's are amazing people. He truly understands how my brian is wired and when seemingly nice people try and take advantage of him it makes my blood boil
Veronica Jean I admire their ability to be direct, without being malicious, or arrogant, or generally attaching any emotional baggage. They appear arrogant, at times, but they aren’t, they just know they are usually right and have the confidence to prove it. They are also quite open to criticism. They take it very well. Very objectively. -INFJ
Haha I wish my parents would be more understanding. I've always been waiting for the day I could give my loyalty to someone, the person I could give me trust to however, there is no one. Everyone just bring me down saying I need to talk to people more, I need to be more sympathetic, I need to show more emotions (cuz I'm female). Like why can't you accept me. I already struggle with bullying even when I don't act myself. It's so freaking hard that people can't accept me for who I am. I'm an INTJ and this struggle is real.
Hello dear INTJ. Your personality type is one of the most fascinating types I have read, saw, and heard about. Nothing can't replace your creative ideas and philosophical thoughts. To me, your melancholic souls shows your beauty and honesty in this world. Just like sweet bitter chocolate.
Fi child has been the bane of my existence. People stating INTJ to be emotionless are blatantly ignorant and/or mistyped. It's very easy to get emotionally overwhelmed if emotions aren't consciously held in check. Not expressing sympathy towards others does have other reasons, too. Often it's matter of 'why bother?' There's such an abstract emotional mess inside of us, which needs to be observed and curated before expression. People having literal attention spans of 5 seconds, just seeing their gaze start to drift losing interest after you just started to speak after all that work is just plain discouraging, painful and only makes it worse. It's not out of superiority. I know I'm terrible at expressing myself. The last thing I want is to bore you. God forbid. Furthermore I'm very ashamed of past narcissistic behaviour. I may add that I've experienced Fi narcissism to mostly stem from overcompensation. Past failures, the constant dread of underperforming combined with being misunderstood by, subjectively, everyone make it difficult to form a healthy moral base from which to draw ambitions from. Gratefulness and humility are changing my life. The greatest challenge for me has been the aforementioned negative effect of Si demon on Fi Child. Faith is the way. Fe trickster & Se inferior have always been there and once you know they're there, they become easier to deal with. Embracing social mishaps, awkwardness and embarrassements and laughing them off is also very, very liberating. To up it a notch, sharing embarassing moments with others and allowing oneself to show weakness is an absolute power move. Ironically it comes across and charming and humble (because it is) (who would've thought?) (btw this form of showing weakness is NOT drowning in self-pity like our cousins, the ISFPs, pathetic.gif) Also, organizing thoughts like this in journals or in RUclips comments is a tremendous way of clearing out mental fog. Thank you for coming to my TedxTalk. It's been a pleasure talking to myself again. (Maybe there could be some kind of a forum for correctly typed people to exchange these sorts of ideas in their own, personality-type-specific, way 🤔) Thank you, Chase. Your work has been very, very enlightening. One day, I'll thank you personally! sincerely, Alex, INTJ Masterrace
" People having literal attention spans of 5 seconds, just seeing their gaze start to drift losing interest after you just started to speak after all that work is just plain discouraging, painful and only makes it worse." THIS!!! Like, I am all ready to analyze the situation in order to provide a solution, but they don't want one. Or if I want to share a similar personal experience they can't be bothered.
I wasn't arrogant or narcissistic, I was raised in a way that I thought everyone was equal, so I thought I could talk about my interests freely. Also, it was hard for me to figure out when I was being taken advantage of, especially from school mates, they hated me putting boundaries (like, do your part of the work) and were harsh critics towards me (why you stand like that, why you like that, what's the use of doing that - YOU'RE NOT MORE THAN THE REST) and I was like "but, that's not what I mean." I tried to be more like them and I just became more bitter and no matter what I did, I was always wrong. One day I said, you know what, f*ck it, and I stopped caring because it was too tiring trying to be "normal." Edit: I'm also autistic, so, a terrible scenario for me.
as an INFP, i can say that they're adorable when getting a bit soft or vulnerable. had a very hard time trying to understant INTJs, but they're absolutely fascinating. looking for essence and depth, not superficial things. you have to see behind their "rudeness" to truly understand them.
I use to get bullied by an INTJ in school. I didn’t even know him but he use to come up to me during lunch and break, and proceed to verbally insult me.
@@sanjaymohammedthe3rd249 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm an INTJ, and I would say that our true nature: is to be kind. Even the internet ranks us as the kindest of the 16 types. I mean, INFPs are known for being the most morally upright of all the 16 types, and from my subjective experience (AND the internet): it's INTJs that they most go for (it's mutual btw). They wouldn't choose us if we didn't have high moral standards, and we wouldn't choose them if they weren't so sweet and wholesome. I mean, objectively our best match is meant to be ENTP (and it probably is-I find them much easier to talk to), yet the 'net isn't full of ENTPs and INTJs gushing over each other, it always seems to be INTJs and INFPs. An immature INTJ though, I could easily see being a bully-for a while. It's that strong Te. The thing is though, whilst objectively I may prefer Te (and ENTPs), subjectively: I've always preferred Fi (and INFPs).
I think the section on INTJs being prone to depression from overthinking is referring to existential depression, which ties into Nihilism, Absurdism, etc.
First of all I would like to salute you Joseph you’re doing a great job and I appreciate your efforts. One point that I would like to raise is the word narcissist arguably may not be the word that describe INTJs. We are more of an elitists and perfectionists who looks down to people for a number of reasons.
I cannot relate to narcissistic traits at all. I do not have the motivation to be part of a group, so I don't even get to the point where I would think of myself as more important than others. There are no others in my world except the few I chose to be in my life - and they are all better than myself. I would feel like a fraud if I would think of me as more valuable than another person, since I am aware that we all have our strength and weaknesses.
I wish my ENTP friend was more like that. He still has a way to go before he's anywhere close to C.S. Joseph's level, and always accuses me of not respecting him every time I revert from "friendly" ESFP Subconscious to my actual Ego. I've probably not going to tell him my Ego is his Unconscious anytime soon, lmao
INTJ Male here. When I saw the private jet I couldn’t stop smiling. This is just who we are. Like the post said, we’ve put ourselves in incorrect relationships and situations because we thought we wanted to be “normal”. Deviation from our goals never satisfies us. We chase success and wealth above all else, and most of all never seek the spotlight because we do not desire attention. Our achievements feed our apetite and ambition so we level up on the playing field.
as an INTJ I can relate to all of this. It takes a lot to step back and realize your own faults, but you will be much happier when you do. I have spent a long time focusing on being present in the moment and constantly checking in with my personal values and it has completely changed how I feel about the world. I use to be so focused on what "worked" and was efficient towards what I wanted to the point that I would sometimes even go against my own personal values. I no longer look down on people that I use to view as lazy or dumb and just realize that they have different priorities then me, and that's ok.
The INTJ' s I know are 1. Always strategizing. 2. On a relentless search for truth...not afraid to discard an error and yet not feel the slightest embarrassment in the adjustment. In other words most types will hold on and save face at their wrong thinking and not let it go or it bruises their ego. Not so with the INTJ. So even though they come off as arrogant they're actually one of the most humble and authentic types. That's my take away. I'm an INFP.
My two older sisters are twins, and one of them is an INTJ and the other is an ISFJ. They helped each other a lot, but you can imagine my ISFJ sister freaking out when her INTJ twin was acting "weird" or "untraditional" and embarrassing her 😂😂😂
I think you are quite right in saying we are ones to cut corners. That said, to assert "learning makes us truly happy" I believe is a very INTJ thing to say. I think we want to keep up the appearance of being intellectually honest when I think much of my success in appearing intellectual comes down to knowing how to manipulate people. I'm always saying "they like me now until they find out who I really am." It gets to a point sometimes where I actually cringe when someone praises me for being smart. I try to earn the right to be considered "intellectual/academic" but sometimes it is so easy to just read a subject at surface level and pass off for an expert.
This! I cringe when people call me super clever or smart. I'm not unintelligent, but I'm usually just good at absorbing the surface level of a lot of subjects. INTJs seem to be jack of all trades but other INTJs I've met, myself included, when you dive deep their knowledge of a subject isn't usually super deep. Can be though, depends on how passionate they really are about it and if they feel it's beneficial/defeats nihilism in their life a little.
@@Sam-by3kk We learn faster than any other types, but we don't care to master everything. We only master what we want to master. We can basically do any job we want that doesn't require years of learning, but we will never be the best at that job unless we truly have an interest in it. When we truly want to be good at something, we definitely can be absolute masters of it. To me being capable of doing basically anything is one of the most amazing part of being an INTJ, but the best is knowing that when I want to master something, I will master it if I truly want to. That's something most people can't say.
True - might I say we’re the ones most likely to focus on studying the teachers’ approaches and methods instead of solely devoting ourselves to a certain subject to reach achievement? It’s always been fairly easy for me to do that. I mean, unless I strongly believe in the utility and future of a subject or field, I’ll never dedicate as much time or energy, I just learn to read others’ intentions, motivation, and point of focus to control their perception of my understanding of the subject.
yes; learning makes me truly happy, but that doesn't mean I have to learn every single aspect of whatever I'm studying. I think that's where CSJ's quibble is off the mark. I'm generally learning something in pursuit of something else and I like being able to do that and having the capacity for it. But I won't go down a rabbit hole for no reason. I have superficial knowledge about a lot of random shlt.
See this is what I don't get... Why do people ask "How's your day?" when they're obviously bored and need you to tell them something fascinating? Why do people ask "How's your exams?" if they don't wanna hear it's going great and you plan to graduate cum laude? Why do people ask "How's work?" if they don't want to hear about how you won the case? If it makes them uncomfortable then what do they want :p I know it's gonna make them feel better if I say I failed everything and lost my job, but really that's cringy and even if that ever happens why would I wanna tell people and have them celebrate. Just shows how evil people are :O
They just want connection - they are looking to start and see if they want to continue - for many people that is all small talk is - a toe in the water. Not everyone though. Some really didn’t care and just do it because it’s a convenient convention that helps them get what they want from more of the people they speak to than not. For some they actually care and would happily listen to how you won the case or how bad your exam went. Some people give some of their time. Some would give all of their time. Some people don’ or can’t. I understand it is difficult to tell the differences - but not everyone’s the same. Find a system that works for you but allows you to still have contact with enough new people that you have new experiences available to you so that you have new opportunities and new opportunities to learn. Some people will surprise you if you try - don’t just assume the external evidence is all there is. Chase’s advice appears solid to me, (I am not an intj but I know intjs), and I think that there’s quite a bit to unwrap in his video here that may not be obvious straight away.
The_Antipioneer, That was jest, right? (But in case it wasn’t, don’t you think it would be better that an individual finds a method, a system perhaps, that gets around the issue until they can find their way to transition.)
INTJs think that they know better than anyone else. Once they decide on something as fact, they will stick to it, even if said fact has been proven otherwise. They may change their mind after they contemplate, in solitude, the new information. However, they tend to present their new found p.o.v., as if they came up with it on their own...
They also put the work in to know a subject. They might come off arrogant but it is true that they have researched the topic for weeks or even months before attempting to discuss it. And people they discuss said topic with have not gone to such lengths because its probably not that important of a topic to begin with but this is just how intjs operate. I do agree they discuss a subject as if it was their idea which is a flaw. They should be concise to pick the proper words when explaining to give credit where it's due. Me personally if I am proved wrong I will change my position immediately on the spot. Theres no contemplating in solitude. The contemplation has already happened.
This. This was particularly infuriating with my INTJ because he occasionally tell me how he thought I was so much smarter than him. It was never in a"That was a smart idea" kind of way that would have made it genuine. At first it was in response to seeing that my college GPA was a good bit higher than his. I wouldn't immediately assume that if I were in his shoes solely from that piece of info, but I valued the compliment nonetheless...initially. His constant dismissiveness (and put downs if I'd bring any issue up) made it apparent that he definitely did not think that I was very smart at all. He'd sometimes repeat said compliment after I called him out for dismissing anything I said.
I'm an INTJ- I got into acting and it has really helped me come out of my shell as well as empathize with others. I did a comedy commercial and my extroverted/ESFP? side came out- (I forgot what you call that)- but it was the best feeling in the world and brought me such joy and I highly recommend acting or singing or dance or any of the performing arts for INTJs.
"I'm an INTJ- I got into acting and it has really helped me come out of my shell as well as empathize with others. I did a comedy commercial and my extroverted/ESFP? side came out- (I forgot what you call that)" that doesn't sound like INTJ to be honest.
I had an ESFP friend , i learned a lot from him that which I'm still grateful. I tried returning the favor by showing him the INTJ way. Till this day he still believes me to be a traitor and or a fake.. :/
@@Riiiiiingo Child or Anima-Animus Fi - Self-Expression? There's the old trope of the "Villainous Monologue" for INTJs where they finally towards the end of the story have the chance to extol their brilliance and express - as someone finally pieces together the layout of how their Ni has isolated them and put them at odds with the world. However it's the ENTJ in particular, and their hidden penchant for *raises Macbeth skull* ACT-ING which I'm curious about too - see as I'm an INFJ I have to act all the time, I feel compelled to, I feel the same way so much of the time as an INTJ but I don't have that resting bitch face INTJs have because I'm aware the roles I have to play, but for me it's a job, not an escape - and it's what the ENTJ or INTJ is hoping to learn from acting I'm curious about.
As an INTJ I've been told that I take criticism very well (always trying to improve / humble brag) but at the same time I realize that I do have flaws and so do other people. I agree that for an INTJ it's really easy to become the worst version of your self especially when expanding on narrative in your head that you've created for someone else that isn't necessarily true, but sometimes people are just assholes. I feel like I give people the space to express whatever feelings they need to and that empathy isn't reciprocated, especially when they do something that actually hurts my feelings (which they typically act like I don't have) and it really does become necessary to treat all my relationships like investments as stated in this video.
I think that INTJs can be some of the best humans of all because their struggles are felt so intensely that it gives them the opportunity to make almost anybody recognize themselves in those and feel really seen. I'm not even very compatible with INTJs but I can say that the positive words I heard from them and ISTJs are basically the only ones who have ever made me feel so much happiness that not even my Si demon will be able to forget. I'm not very sensitive to that type of thing and not even Fi heros or parents have even came close to impacting me the way Fi child has. It's just really upsetting to see that sometimes, maybe because of cycles of people misunderstanding INTJs and them doing the same to others, all of that amazing potential gets used to doing the perfect opposite of what builds strong and long lasting bonds with others. They just have that special thing about them that happens to be extra powerful whether they use it to make others love or hate them.
Anyways C.S Joseph, thank you for helping us INTJs to improve our lives. Please don’t give up on us. We are just trying to live a good life, so please don’t give up on us.
I know an INTJ with an INTP for an older brother. The INTJ boasted that he could beat the INTP at chess because he could think 10 moves ahead. The INTP decided to humble his younger brother, schooling him in chess. He basically moved his pieces in such a way to make the INTJ have to try and think put ten moves each turn because he could not have predicted the move he made nearly every turn. When the INTJ had sufficiently worn down mentally, only then did the INTP go for the INTJs king. It wasn't even about winning but about proving that his logic could be subverted and not to be so arrogant.
INTJ wouldn't boast anything as they dont seek glorification that way, they would think that but not boast about it. Innately doing it takes your execution and opens the opportunity to what you described here to happen. But you did said it was a younger person discovering the ins and out of their strengths and weaknesses. Those types of teachings are great development for him 👍 Just note now that kid will come back with a thunder as this experience created a goal and revenge lol
my intj sister was watching pretty little liars and i said in passing that it was a stupid show and she never talked to me about shows she liked for years lol she took it so personally omg
@@patriciaeddishaw9244 yeah im like the opposite of that. on the outside ill be like aww a cute kitty. on the inside im cold and calculated always thinking in flashes of images never sentimental
That's might not because she have taken that seriously. We INTJs don't like wasting our time on meaningless shows. I haven't watched any web series yet in my life (I'm 19 anyways) on my own. It's like If you recommend me, I will give it a try, and moreover I will either finish that show within a day or two, or it will take me forever. Probably she haven't seen any show that might feel like she have really enjoyed. There is no way she can take such a small thing so personally.
I think INTJs' main problem is the dilemma of either choosing to be ourselves and show it to the world homestly but then people who misunderstand us get hurt, or choosing to be nice instead but at least people don't get hurt because of us this way, but either way we INTJs can get seriously misarable.
Only really spent time with one that I think was INTJ. A constantly frustrated and stressed slightly asocial workaholic machine that never malfunctioned, no matter the workload. He was a cool dude. I enjoyed talking with him and seeing how he went about things. Interesting dude, don't know how he could keep it up.
RUclips obviously knew I needed to hear some of this. I’ve completely removed myself from society for many reasons, one being that I somehow became the villain when all I was trying to do was help people by working hard. But people saw that as arrogant and commanding and that I was some evil dictator. It probably doesn’t fit with the INTJ personality but I’m very sympathetic to others, others emotions, I want to comfort people and don’t want anyone sad if I can help it. Guess the way I went about it seemed inauthentic or was taken in the completely wrong way. These days I’m just too scared to do anything. If I don’t associate with anyone and try to have friends, no one (new) can hate me. But that’s...probably feeling sorry for myself and being narcissistic? I don’t even know anymore. At least I can’t hurt anyone else this way?
@dasein 35 this year. I certainly feel too old. I ruined/my life was ruined/disability ruined my life and depression and loneliness is doing the rest. I don’t know if loneliness is an “everyone” thing, but I’ve felt lonely my whole life. I can totally see loneliness being an INTJ thing.
@@dasein9980 wow, that hit home man, I'm 25, and I have been feeling the same loneliness and isolation, that sometimes went to be so painful that it was verging suicidal thoughts... But what I started realising lately is that the control to connect with people, make that first step is in our hands. Sure, won't feel comfortable, due to se inferior.. Sure, we'd rather stay in our ni box than engage with the world... Sure, we can get hurt by opening to people... But ultimately by deciding to open to the world, we have the control in our hands to get out of loneliness.. I've been struggling with that, being afraid that I could get hurt, and misunderstood etc.., so I shut myself off.. But what's the alternative? Either accepting a lonely existence where your only comfort is your false sense of superiority, and at the end of your life you'll look back with regret, OR opening to the world, risking pain, but also allowing good things to come in, being grateful and humble, and just making that first step as a practice..
I feel like you’re describing a less healthy or less mature intj. It could be my upbringing and certain big events, but I don’t really have that problem when interacting with people. I have more problems legitimately caring about people, regardless of if I act like it and if I help them out or listen to their problems and try to cheer them up, whatever it may be. It is social barriers I impose upon myself unconsciously.
"Nihilism is no excuse because all of us have something to be grateful for" That one hit deep. Took a long time for me to realize this nugget of truth. That doesn't end the struggle tho. It only gets harder from there.
As an INTJ I'm immensely grateful to my ESTJ mother who taught me how to appreciate and care for the community we live in and "pierced my balloon" (as she would put it) whenever needed!
All the INTJs I have met are so arrogant to the point of seeming antisocial. I notice they like to tear you down when angry at you but then say they were just joking afterwards when they were not...because they can’t get past there pride to apologise..or they just don’t care.
I had an INTJ assistant at a previous job and she was awesome. She had an excellent work ethic and a great sense of humour, I'm an INFP and we got along really well. The other part of our trio was an ENFJ. I really miss that team.
@@sanjaymohammedthe3rd249 I think you just had a bad experience with one dude, when you and they were young. As an INTJ, my no#1 type: is INFP, always has been. With that said, I don't love them all. I used to hang with a herd of hippie peaceniks, most of whom were probably INFP. I fuc**ng HATE hippies, so they would be the exception for me. But the exception doesn't make the rule.
Yeah, the tragic irony of being an INTJ is that I am much more likable when I start treating people like *things* instead of people. I used to follow the Golden Rule, and treat others the way I wanted to be treated. Yeah, that doesn't work for INTJs. People HATE being treated like my equal, and they HATE receiving my respect... but when I treat people like objects and possessions that require upkeep they suddenly like me. I can only treat others from a position of superiority. It's both infuriating and lonely at the same time. Rare is the person like Joseph who can keep up.
As an INTJ I almost NEVER speak on my achievements. Like nearly never, even as a child. I’ve always been a Doer and never really talk about it. Soooo please break this down.
why did I almost cry while watching this video? Seriously, i feel i just got extremely humbled by listening to your analysis; I’m so thankful for finding your channel.
Also, if the reason INTJs have difficulty treating others with empathy is that most people have difficulty treating INTJs with empathy since INTJs are so rare, then wouldn’t we expect to see a similar lack of empathy from the other NJ types, given that they’re all roughly as rare as INTJs?
The last part reminds me of PragerU: "How to be more happy? Be more grateful!" Yes, because ungratefulness, entitlement, and a lack of respect for what one is able to have right now, makes it far more easier for even the most afortunate people to become the poorest, in a day..
Yeah, INTJ myself, and assuming you’re talking about the general “emotionless masterminds” or the “anti-people anti-hero,” I find them lacking depth of character despite the frequent generous use of words such as “deep” or “insightful” to describe them. The overall picture for these stereotypes appears (to me) immature, ignorant and other times just plain depressing or pathetic. I never found sources where INTs’ flaws are studied and understood more in-depth (or blatantly called out), so the analysis so far from CSJ about INTJ and their bullsh*t is refreshing. It makes it so much easier to embrace my flaws and map points of improvement-it’s liberating.
I just talked to someone yesterday about my Fi getting weaker or "me losing sight of my moral compass" as my Te was developing and I was getting Te focused. You explained this perfectly
as an enfj i dont dislike them i love them i just think they need to actually feel things and not blow up and relaliate on innocent people. its happened to people around me like 10 times with 10 different intjs
As an INTJ, I listened to the whole video in an open minded way and I think you just perfectly described an immature INTJ with no purpose in real Life... I think a fully mature INTJ is just a Total Powerhouse with hell of a Game, an all-arounder to the fullest. Super humble, very charming with an abundance mindset, can't be manipulated so lil tricks from 48 laws of power can't help you bec Ni see right through the bluff... Believe it or not but most INTJs run the world by pulling the strings behind the scenes from the secret societies... For my fellow INTJs, connect with your Purpose man, you have the highest chance of becoming a Millionaire and improving all your flaws bec you tunnel vision all the things you wanna improve as your duty, responsibility and obligation!
Waaayyy late to this party myself but I definitely feel like you are right about the gratitude thing, at least from my perspective. I could definitely spend more time showing them I do care, and not just through words, though I do try to let people know that as well. I have had some friends in the past not really appreciate it, but I can't let that stop me from showing those who deserve it they are appreciated. Thanks for making great content and putting it out into the world!
Fantastic video, it describes me in my bitter and nihilistic moods very well. It's hard to appreciate others when all I think about is my own self-worth and achievement. I don't know if this is relatable to other INTJs, but I feel like I just have to achieve one big thing and then people will appreciate me more. Then I can "prove them all wrong", because I ended up more "important" than all the others. That my arrogant "god-complex" behavior was justified in the end, lmao.
I feel heavy bias and personal feelings. It seems you do not like INTJ and assign all negative traits to them. The nicest thing you said was they're genius level manipulators. I've scrolled through your vids. The INTJ videos you've posted, that I've seen, are negative. I do not see you consistently negatively criticizing other personality types. You said you don't say nice things to them because you need to teach them a lesson in humility. Take the time to get know people. I am not a description in a text book. I've spent over a decade helping people, professionally, and I take pride in my success helping other succeed. I cry and bleed for people. The difference between you and I is I'm not intentionally mean. I don't feel the need to humble anyone. I do not actively avoid saying nice things to people based on a personality type. Nobody cries for me. I don't expect anyone to, but I cry for them. I couldn't pay my rent. I gave my last 15 dollars to a homeless guy that was lying to me. I watched people ignore and treat him poorly, I felt his pain, and acted sympathetically. I am not a monster.
In my experience as an INTJ, I study philosophy and make virtue ethics and deontology my goal. My goal is self improvement and being the best version of myself I can possibly be.
How you choose to be perceived by others is ultimately up to you as an individual. INTJ's have great potential to change how they are viewed by themselves and others. It takes determining who you want to be in the future and focusing your area of mastery onto yourself. You might be the smartest person in the room, but if you do not have the ability to influence and work with others, you might as well not be there. Being an INTJ does not make others dislike you; how you choose to interact and influence others might. Learning about emotional intelligence, leadership and meditation can help. Seek feedback from others to understand yourself and find out how you are perceived by them. Find others to mentor and be humble. Aim to make others more skilled than you are. Offer advice, but realise a good question is often better. Make sure those close to you are positive; you develop based on the five people closest to you. Other people are concerned about their own lives and are not spending every waking moment thinking about how they can affect you. Don't project your thought patterns onto others; you already know most of the world does not think like you. This is not to become like other people, just a better version of yourself. Everyone has the responsibility to improve themselves rather than expecting others to change to meet their desires.
I’m an INTJ man and was hoping to find, and actually did find, an INTJ woman. She’s fantastic. She’s so easy to deal with, so communicative, so reliable, so supportive, disciplined, smart, accomplished, stable, good looking, works out every day. No drama, no games, straightforward, cares about truth over anything else which makes her very real. Her natural response to pretty much anything is, yes. I don’t know what to say besides an INTJ is an exceptional person and seeing her from the outside gives me more appreciation for myself because of course I have much of her same qualities and values. An INTJ with another INTJ is bliss.
She’s taken the test. Multiple times. She’s been INTJ her whole life. Same for me. I took it a couple years ago which was INTJ and later found an old college test result (given by counselors) from 20 years prior that said INTJ. I didn’t pay attention to the letters at the time so didn’t even recall that.
Probably my favorite quality is that she’s even keeled. So easy to talk to because she’s always logical and rational and not very judgmental. She’s always in a good mood. Always wants to be helpful.
@Humility First No type has a monopoly on arrogance. However, over 90% of the INTJs I have ever met are arrogant. This is an amazingly high rate and I don't not observe such a high rate of arrogance in other MBTI types.
I find their arrogant god-complex really cute tbh - because it always seems so undeveloped to me (like a boy trying to be a big man). they expose themselves a lot, and i agree Fi-child is easy to play with. i love intjs to bits. the only thing is that in their quest to get what they want, they can sometimes get quite selfish and trample on others, forget their Fi-morals. That's when the god-complex is not so cute anymore because it's just not good enough. Especially compared to yours lol - when you're an INFP (lead-Fi) anyway...
Talking about achievements "puts people off"? How, why, what the hell?? How about they start putting in the work and actually achieve something. I'm more than happy to discuss their aspirations from time to time and see if I have some advice. Oh wait, no one wants advice. People want to fail. Why is it bad to be self-focused? Other people show time and time again how worthless they can be with their self-pity and whining. Their lack of any ambition and inability to solve their own problems only gets me depressed. They can sit in a corner by themselves while I climb the ladder. That's not a God-complex, letting yourself be dragged down by others is weakness. Here's an immature comment for you: "It's not my fault I'm better than everyone else". Again, no God-complex, simply a realistic outlook on life.
You may hate this answer but the woman side of Red Pill explains this super well. Nobody (especially men in a romantic setting) cares about what you achieve. It isn't going to benefit them unless you are an expert and doing something in a corporate setting. Even then, people do not admire you more for your achievements. They are like okay whatever and envy will build over time.
@@AshleyDeaton1230999 I know men are wired to not really give a hoot about a woman's achievements, but you have to understand that none of that changes how INTJs are. I don't desire achievement because of feminism or because of some misguided notion that climbing the corporate ladder or making money will make me happy; I don't care about those things. I genuinely desire to deeply understand and excel at a subject (preferably something that involves analyzing the world), and doing so gives me an almost transcendant fulfillment that no relationship has been able to provide as of yet. I mean, maybe there's an evolutionary reason that INTJ women are rare...
I have a real problem with the victim hood mentality. The lack of accountability. And, if asked, I’m not able to hide my viewpoint. I’m logical not emotional. I’m factual not fact less. I don’t like betas. Now a day’s feels like I’m surrounded by them.
Isfps are similar. They are also so in love with themselves and they talk about their achievements and how good they are, about good things that they did, but they do good things also to make other people think they're good.
How dare you call INTJs out, Chase. Attacking our flaws to help us grow and be better people. I can’t believe you. If I was secure, I’d take that advice and utilize it to the fullest.
Interesting. Just had a conversation last night with my boss about being gratefull for what we have professionally. The company was going to shut down and we where the last effort/chance the administration was willing to concede (had failed twice before with other people). Also I expressed admiration for his sense of morality, which is actually pretty good and inspiring. A few months ago, I talked to my INTJ friend about socializing. I told him I only socialize in the extent that it gives me what I need to build the life I want. However, in order to get something you have to give something back. That was a realization I had a few years ago. Trading a high (job) performance for the resources to build my life. As for the know-it-all part, everyone knows something deeper then you just like there is always someone better then you out there.
"INTJs are arrogant due to child god complex." I actually thought I was stupid as a child. I didn't grow into my brain, as it were, until I was in my mid-twenties. Even still, one of my greatest errors is to default to the assumption that any person I'm dealing with is about as intelligent as I am. I have to actively decide to remind myself that the person in question may not be intelligent at all. When I do remember that one fact, interpersonal interactions become immensely easier.
One of the classic lines i heard recently is an apparent apology that went "Sorry I told you off. You don't have as fast processing as I do and I judged you against myself. " Uhhh... thanks? Sometimes I wish I could slap them out of the superiority complex. Often times been berated for being wrong and ridiculous only to be proven right in the end, and I have to point this out myself. I have never heard "hmm maybe I'm wrong, let me think about that". Intj is automatically right in every way. Funny tho just saw 2 intjs interact and one (doctor) lectured, dismissed the other as paranoid and ridiculous and the second was so offended he vowed to neve see him again. Ironically blind to the hypocrisy.
We have a superiority complex because we usually are superior, intellectually. We almost never state an opinion unless we have very good reason to believe we're right; we research everything into the ground. I'm right 99% of the time, so if I say you're wrong, you're probably wrong. I've had people insist that I was wrong, then 20 years later, "everybody" knows what I knew the entire time.
Thank you for your time and valuable comments, seriously. (from a grateful INTJ :P ) Recently, I have survived and escaped a warzone (where the rest of my family still there and can never ever see them again), and I kind of developed this feeling of hating on people, not seeing any hope, and the world is doomed, and that the only way I can fix it is by burning it or something. I can't do that, so I am sort of stuck with my PTSD for now. This got me now more interested to know about how my Superego ISFJ would manifest. I kind of feel scared of the anger inside me, and I know all of the types would feel something similar to that after the experience of living under war for over 9 years and losing touch with your family for almost ever, however I am really bad in fitting with the new society (or any society I guess!) or finding a community, and even if I found one I do feel ashamed of myself to join them, that I will annoy everyone or "give them a bad experience" due to how sad I seem. Anyway, great video as always. ^_^
Sorry for what you have been through. It must be tough being away from your family also. I hope you find people to connect with. There are other sad people out there too looking for a friend
I think a lot of these things you mentioned the 2nd half of this, are things that we can train out of ourselves; or at least, I have worked hard for 15 years or so to train these traits out of myself. We just have to be very, very aware of what makes ourselves tick, and pay attention to that. (edit - at least with the gratitude...sympathy is just something that's pretty hard. I trade sympathy for waiting to find out how I can assist I think)
You forget one very important thing. The investment can't be just once, or once a year. It has to be regular and it has to be genuine. And that's the real hard part and the reason why many INTJ's fail. They might go ahead and show gratitude to the people they care for, but then tire of it, retreat or forget about it and drop back into the old state. I know, because that's what usually happens to me. Which reminds me, I should call my mum.
We are very insecure, cautious, secretive, and somewhat obsessive. Always in fear of being double crossed. Also, astute as a serpent. Very similar to the scorpion archetype of the Zodiac. What a funny coincidence, and yet again, we do not believe in coincidence. Haha.
You literally hit the nail on the head. I often think I'm being generous, when I'm actually being controlling. And I am bitter because of my past. 🤷🏽♂️
Having a positive outlook on life and gaining gratitude have been very hard-fought achievements in my life. I don't remember exactly how I got them, but I appreciate them to the fullest extent of my being.
I (INTP) dislike some INTJs because; - They prefer to listen television, newspaper, midwit "experts", or religious authority; even if they know you are much better informed than them, you have to have PhD on every discussion, you have to write books or you have to be some kind of messiah or angel. They expect me to debate with these "experts" and dominate them. (Yeah, you just collect every junk in your brain and I will clean these junks for you. And my time is not important, I just keep debating with them while you put another junk in your brain) Otherwise they can even critise you because you read to much for them. They even claim sarcastically I can only be right if "experts" are morons or conspirers. (Even if you prove them their "experts" are liars or morons, they will just move to goalpoast perpetually) - You have to prove your negative claim (i.e. "There is no cockroach on Mars surface") to them, but they don't even try to prove their positive claims [i.e. "Many Albians works for secret cabal to raise the Anti-Zod, they have influence on every authority, (but let's obey to this Albian controlled authority)"]. - They imitate weird things even if they disgust from source of action. - They do "good" things even you warned them don't do this "good" things. - You have to explain agreements many times, otherwise they will imagine if you promised somethings. Agreement is a positive thing, if I didn't say "I will do this", then don't expect it from me. If it's hard to remember agreement then write it down somewhere with capital letters/colored pens etc. what I do and what you do. - Some of them has god complex but I am better god than you (expect "experts", they are greatest gods). - Don't expect humbleness from others, while you are doing nothing or even worse filling your brain with junk. - Repetition doesn't make anything true, it makes you fail many times or makes you a parrot/sheep. - If you don't critisize harshly, they will probably join to weird cults.
A lot of this applies to Istjs as well. There does exist both Intjs and Istjs who have a more developed Te and trust in their Ti, and can understand reasons not to listen to authority. It just takes constant and verifiable criticism of the authority to get them to understand. I used to be a "trust the scientists, they know what they're doing" kind of guy until somebody brought to light to me just how corrupt the science industry is, and how easily statistics and studies can be manipulated. Now, I do my own research, or I do not except some 'scientific' claim made at all. And I have people like you to thank for it, so thank you.
Wow. All of these things apply to my dad. I always thought he was an ESFP as he was always just Se raging all over the place all the time. Si demon bitterness, Fi child god complex, lack of gratitude. These are all spot on. I actually thought my dad was a narcissist growing up until I tried to actually understand him. He was certainly taken advantage of and mistreated growing up, but he decided to take it out on all of the wrong people. I realized he was just super insecure and Nihilistic all the time. It was super frustrating to deal with as a child.
One of my best friends is an INTJ and yup... people don't like her and think of her as disrespectful. But she is super open minded and is always looking for knowledge, I respect her so much because she can make things happen.... I can't xD INFP.
wait till she back-stabs you when 'making something happen' for herself lol. u might even fall for her self-narrative and excuses, or forgive her anyway since ur an infp....
@@noraflood6482 I might be confused then, perhaps she is not an INTJ because she never excuses herself, before, after or during anything. Thanks for the info... even thou I'd never get in her way when she is trying to get something... that would be a 'dick' move from me. I have no goals now, I just feel alone sometimes and want some company, why would I get in the way of someone who is actually working to go somewhere?
@@needyourname438 ah sorry that was just a little harsh of me. But I know INTJs to be "schemers" (not necessarily in a bad way - they just plan and machinate towards their own ends according to their Fi). But if you happen to be in the way they seem quite ok with just disadvantaging or hurting you in order to achieve their own desires (usually secretly, behind the scenes). They don't "push people aside" quite as obviously as ENTJs though, but imo just as ruthlessly....the INTJs I know have all (every single one of them) done something like this before in order to get ahead...that's actually partially what endears them so much to me. Because they are a mix of ruthlessness and goodness. You always wish the Fi will triumph in the end...but they always seem to lapse at least once or twice at critical moments when it counts....so can really hurt you, whether as friend or lover..The ones I know who've done this are also often full of regret (But you're right - they don't go around making "excuses" to others. They don't feel that they have to. I'm very sure they are "excusing" themselves in their own heads though - you can see how their internal processes of self-justification play out elsewhere in their words and actions) Very "high-minded" some of them - perhaps that's the "god-complex" referred to here. Again another reason why this INFP falls for them lol. All the wrong reasons. On the whole they are super loyal and if they like you they really do and will do so much for you!
@@noraflood6482 I'll take all of your words :') thanks. However, I see we have had different experiences with the XNTJs. My first boss was an ENTJ. The only man who gave me and opportunity when no one would. One day a co-worker told me the ENTJ made a comment about me: "I like her, she works hard" (Aparently he had seen me working while everyone was at lunch, but I did that just because I was scared to talk to the team) After that day I started working SUPER HARD so I would not ruin the image he had of me. The ENTJ trusted me with a lot of work and I gave my best. I screwed up BIG TIME ONCE. He never said anything... he just stopped delegating me things and my heart broked. When I left the job he wished me the best of lucks and told open up my own bussiness. He was intimidating, but I admired him so much. (-sigh- I really want this Covid situation to be over. Has it ruined things for you too?)
@@needyourname438 also - don't take their crap to heart! they pounce on us like this sometimes (i'm sorry but ENTJs talk so much crap). accept the compliment and move on! dont get trapped by ur own Fi! sorry im talking so much! im worried abt INFPs elsewhere being run down by the NTJs lol. good to have them on your side - but remember they will always feel better being 'above' you (and we like them to feel good abt themselves and remain in our 'place'...) that's so stupid though - we really dont have to! (could pretend though - Ne's good at that). Sending you my abstract thoughts and strength!
Part 1 { "No, not really. INTJs get really caught up in Te processes, especially like with education, institutions, or credentials, or some type of proof of achievement that they think has value when the reality is those two are arbitrary." -C.S Joseph on the point 'INTJs cannot accept things as they are; we need to know 'why.' } C.S Joseph is incorrect on this point. While it is true that INTJs devote a lot of focus to education and Te processes in academia and our career, we are not obsessed with having 'credentials' or having a way to 'prove our achievement' to others. INTJs like validation from others, but do not require it for their self-esteem. It's nice to have credentials, a degree, or proof of our intelligence, but we do not place value on it as C.S Joseph stated. As an INTJ I agree that these things are arbitrary. But many INTJs don't actually care about this kind of official validation of our intelligence. I don't need others to recognize my intelligence, nor do I require a degree or certification or other academic proof on paper to make me 'feel' intelligent. I don't use my educational achievements to deny others the right to question my intelligence. It doesn't matter how licensed or certified I am as an expert; others still have a right to question my intelligence regardless how 'smart' an institution says I am on paper. As an INTJ I have always been interested in the 'why' behind everything. I don't accept things just because someone told me 'that's just the way it is.' I ask for an explanation. 'Why' is that the way it is? The why is always more important to me than blindly accepting what I'm told to believe just 'because someone else said so.' We want there to be a valid reason behind it so we can feel secure knowing it was the right thing to do. You don't know if something is right or wrong if you don't ever question why and discover the truth. {"I kinda disagree with that. INTJs do have a reputation of cutting corners when it suits them." -C.S Joseph on the point: Learning genuinely makes us feel happy.} This is a very vague judgment from C.S Joseph when he disagrees here. It is true that we may at times pick and choose information that supports our argument, but this is in an effort to make our argument more concise and avoid wasting time on irrelevant information. Not everything we learn in school/college is valuable to us later in life, but that can be said for any personality type. What this point is trying to say is that INTJs enjoy learning, and this is true. INTJs do find a special joy in learning. But C.S Joseph has taken the slant that we desire to learn with ulterior motives in mind, which isn't relevant to the actual point, which is: learning genuinely makes INTJs feel happy. And this is true. Learning makes us happy. { We can't be impulsive } I actually agree with C.S Joseph here when he disagrees with this point. I'm an INTJ, and we are definitely capable of being impulsive. We may filter everything through a moral, logical lens, but we are also very aware of what we want and what we know. INTJs are goal-oriented, which means we strive for things very persistently in life. We will go to great lengths to get what we want. We have our own unique personal aesthetic, ambitions, and goals, and when we see something we want, we chase after it. If you find what an INTJ 'wants' you can easily motivate an INTJ, because they'll do almost anything within that moral, logical scope to get it. As an INTJ matures they become less 'up tight' or 'OCD' about things being organized and falling within their comfort zone, and will learn to live and let live, having learned through experience how to enjoy being a bit more social and go with the flow easier. With experience INTJs become more lax on their strict routines and start trying new things on a whim or at the request of friends and family without feeling anxious. It is false to say an INTJ cannot be impulsive. { INTJs are arrogant, but also painfully insecure. } I'm not surprised C.S Joseph agrees with this point in the video, but INTJs are not arrogant. A toxic INTJ without any humility is arrogant, yes, but the majority only 'come across' as arrogant. INTJs are self-motivated, confident in what we know, honest about what we don't know, and make logically rational decisions decisively. We may come across as arrogant or prideful, and may be criticized for 'always needing to be 'right,' but we don't actually 'need to be right.' We're not trying to be 'right.' We're not trying to come across as arrogant. We're not trying to be smarter than someone else or rub our intelligence in their face. INTJs are open to being proven wrong with facts, data, logical reasoning, sources, and evidence, but someone who is emotionally irrational in the moment or chooses to believe in their own subjective definition of what they 'want' to be true doesn't make any sense to us, and we tend to regard these individuals as willfully ignorant and not worth our time if they refuse to even consider our perspective and listen to the objective truth and take a break from their own subjective truth. INTJs are a decisive type who make confident decisions, and this swift drive to act on our own convictions is often perceived as arrogance, when to an INTJ it just seemed like the best path to choose. It just 'made the most sense.' It wasn't a decision made in spite of someone else; it just seemed like the right way to go. Admittedly, this decisive nature can get us into trouble, and this is where INTJs do need constructive criticism from others. We will make confident decisions thinking we made the right choice without a shred of doubt it was the correct decision, only to realize we jumped to conclusions, were totally wrong about something, completely misread a person or situation, or didn't consider another possibility than the one we thought to be the case. This is where having Ni instead of Ne is a problem for us. Ni narrows information down into the most concise, likely possibilities, so INTJs are more likely to believe in 'what is most likely the case' instead of remaining open to the possibilities. INTPs have Ne, which is constantly considering all different angles and possibilities. While this may make it harder for an INTP to identify what they want in any given situation and gives them less certainty of what they know, it allows them to escape the trap INTJs fall into: making educated assumptions. Even though we're 99% certain of something, have a lot of information backing up that conclusion, and are typically right as a result, we will all face a time when we are totally and completely wrong, and are plagued with oversights because we failed to consider the most random or unlikely possibilities.
Is there anyway to triple like a video or more ?? This video and advice is insightful and exceedingly helpful. Okay, Mr Joseph most definitely hats off to you.
Dude Ti child God complex is kind of more annoying because it is hard to see sometimes from the outset because they have slightly more social awareness so its difficult to see, especially to their friends. Good video!
yea same i honestly find Ti god complex much more annoying. Fi child-god is kinda cute (until you actually fall for it though and believe them and get hurt)
tbh I have been meaning to volunteer time at a homeless shelter to better get in touch with my Fi and or raise my neuroticism and to treat relationships as investments is a perfect analogy for us INTJ's to follow
The more I listen the more inaccuracies I see with regard to me, I’m generous and grateful, and I’ve taken the test several times....and always the same results, with one exception and that was over ten years ago when i got ENTJ. So giving to those in need, recognizing the service industry people in malls and other piling places to paying for the struggling person in front of me grocery’s at the grocery store. And this has been apart of me since I can remember. Once again I’ve taken this test personally and as a requirement for work that was given by a professional and the results have consistently been the same. INTJ and not being “narcissistic” but the negatives especially about how we entreat people with the lack of kindness just doesn’t fit me AT ALL.
I agree with you. The harsh stereotypes (e.g. arrogance, ingratitude, unsympathetic) does not align with my behavioral patterns or core values. As YOU grow older in maturity, the investment portfolio analogy will be start to manifest, if you (as an INTJ) acknowledge and apply yourself consistently.
I disagree that the most brilliant INTJ was Frank Abegnail, there are much greater people whom were INTJs, starting from Isaac Newton to Marie Curie to Nietzsche, Nikola Tesla,, etc, Frank Abegnail certainly does not represent the peak of an INTJ.
All really good points, the effects of sharing my accomplishments on other people took a while to understand. For a while I thought I had to do so to show my value to the person, though often times it wasn’t anything of substance or the person felt inadequate and low key “hated” me for it. Now I do my best not to share, unless you are a close friend and our relationship is less focused on who is better vs mutual growth, and growth on either side makes both people happy.
I know you said that incels are most often INFPs or something to that effect in your INFP cognitive transition lecture, but I think that is actually describing the “nice guy” stereotype which is something different. The truth is that on the internet, most incels are INTJs (though usually they would deny that label and obsess over physical self-improvement)
Honestly true. My friend and I are both good looking and have a easier time initially attracting women. He is an INFP and dries them up by being overbearingly nice, I may manage to have them stick around longer due to dark triad appeal but am ultimately too intense, demanding or uninterested.
You have the best descriptions of types on RUclips! INTJ bitterness hit home for me. It wasn’t until I hit my 30s that was I able to overcome the negative internal thought patterns and arrogance. Oh and the nihilistic “depression”! 😫 So true.
Me: *having a nice day*
RUclips recommendations: *why everybody dislikes you ^^*
Had a giggle, ty
yeah, YT cares to make us humble ;) let’s thank for that! :D
Lol
"Cries in fi child"
I can walk this off... IT'S FINE!
"When you're arrogant, people want to tear you down, but when you're humble, people want to raise you up"
This doesn't sound completely true to me. As an INTJ, my experience has been that half the time when I showed sympathy, people would just say that I wasn't doing it in the right way, or saw it as a moment of weakness and tried to tear me down. Only when I make my competence clear and become emotionless and cold do I get any respect.
I am open to criticism, as I always want to improve.
But people think introverts are weak and will take advantage of how timid we initially come off.
I'm tired of it.
yes, they think we are weak but we are the very will full. I'm tired of it too
Extroverts are blind and send out emotional pings to understand and or manipulate others via their self projection.
Hell yes!!!
I think there is a "socially acceptable humility" that is neither vulnerability ( that is basically showing people your true feeling and it's not recomended) or doing too many favours to others or feeling inferior. It' s more like being able to keep an " approachable " self image and giving off an " i am neither better or worse than you" vibe , i don't know if it makes sense XD
depends on the people you are hanging around. Im my experience humbleness is really effective with people you are working long-term. Because initially they may think you are incompetent, but when they just see you producing result after result AND STILL BE HUMBLE about it, they will lift you up.
Q: why most ppl dislike X?
A: X dislike most ppl.
I am an INTJ raised by a narcissistic ESFP who expected me to mirror her behavior. As long as I did, I got along relatively okay. As soon as I dropped that and became myself, I realized I don't like people in general and they only like me when I pretend to be someone else. I find people exhausting and unrewarding. They are punitive if you do not wish to engage.
I had the exact same thing happening to me im not kidding, what i did was stop giving a shit about people and just doing mi own and soon people who never respected me started to do it, and i stoped giving then the respect that thay didnt deserve.
Where do I find women like you?
Misanthropic INTJs could be an ISTP's soul mate, especially when both were raised by narcs.🙂
Exactly the same happened to this INFJ with an ISFJ mom.
@@di3486 I feel you. ISFJs are nightmares to begin with.
Karen Doyle we both cursed with Ni which is insanely difficult to manage and function like a normal adult. I feel that I finally reached adulthood at 40
As an INTJ I secretly like people, but then I start engaging with others and trying to understand others but when I demand for the same thing back, they don’t want to be changed while they themselves expect you to change. So I give up. I’d rather be liked by a select few who like me for me then be liked by lots of people and slowly chip away at my personality
For me it's like I like people, as long as they aren't too close to me. I prefer when they mostly ignore me and I mostly ignore them. I don't want people harmed, just not near me
This.
100%
So true they only want to be heard by you mostly but then become a wall when it’s your time to reciprocate
CHUCCH!
Btw, were You a PUA?
When someone likes me I feel that’s only because they can’t see me clearly, it’s like:
-I love you
-Oh no, that’s because I’ve been FAKE AGAIN
- Oh no, believe me I do, stop pretending. You might look like an asshole to lots of other people, but maybe these are not the people you should stick to in the first place. Those, who are meant to notice who you are, will notice and appreciate you for the person you are, but be courageous enough to accept and actually deal with it.
At least, I've been there several times and I always ended up discovering, that INTJs are pretty much the biggest sweethearts out there.
Yours sincerely, an INFP :)
Overall, INTJ's are pretty "dope," as you would say. They're brave enough to tell you your idea sucks, but they also have a romantic, altruistic, and philosophical core that's really attuned to wanting to do what's right. I knew one INTJ who described himself as a "warrior poet." Fierce yet romantic.
True that
I really like INTJs.
Ime, they have their own ideas of "doing what's right" and that can be totally opposite to what most people would think of as right. They may not offer to tell you that they hold different ethical values either, so you can be badly hurt.
@@meagiesmuse2334 That comment is dead-on. Never seen a comment talking about that aspect before but it's really a true insight.
@@andreagreenwood93 - I got that insight the hard way. I would advise any woman in love with an INTJ to ask questions, lots of them. For one example, do not assume they use the same definition of "cheating" that everyone else does. Don't accept vague answers either, because even simple words may not mean what you think they do.
Dear INTJs, I love you all. Sometimes to my own disadvantage. - an INFP
Same! Why do we love INTJs so much?! -another INFP
Aw, same. ❤️
-an INTJ
Eh I love hate intj
Lightgrey, don't sweat it too much. A lot of us INTJ's probably don't receive such sentiments often. My hope is that the ones, nearest you, demonstrate just how appreciated you are, in kind.
@@wraitheory :')
Why do people dislike INTJs?
The world thrives in self deprecation, and INTJs don't do that.
Even when INTJs show love and gratitude, they are still hated because they aren't doing it the way they are EXPECTED to.
My brother is a 34 year old INTJ. He is very independent in his head and at times in practice, but expects everyone to take care of him like he's entitled to it or something. I've given him years of sound advice to get out and explore the world and gain experiences. I'm an INTP, so it hits him deep down inside his insecure core when I lay it out straight forward, but he would never accept that I, or likely anyone, has anything of real value when it comes to intelligence. Perhaps I'm just not 'doing it the way he EXPECTS it to be.' He's adamant about having seen the world and experienced it all, though he's only lived with our mother or father, with the exception of sleeping on so-called friends' couches for several month stretches while they take advantage of him and coax him into doing stupid shit. He is super arrogant, even acknowledging it at times......with more arrogance. I love him.....but I don't know what to do anymore but to distance myself from him as much as possible and let his arrogance figure it out. Outside of this, he is very intelligent, but almost always omits, ignores, or otherwise disregards fundamental or crucial information to manifest his visions/innovations. If I try to suggest ideas, he's very confrontational and/or doubles down. Other INTJs I know are basically similar, although not as "bad." How is this some "master race" bullshit many of you talk about? It's pathetic. It's so much lost potential. I have my own bullshit, but I try. I played sports, I joined the military at 17 just to get the hell out of the house and out into the world, I lift weights and eat relatively healthy, I try to engage with the world and understand others better, etc. He and I could really do some damage if some of these things were addressed. But I'm exhausted giving a damn.
@oopsieloopsy Like I said, the insecure core.
@oopsieloopsy Annnnnnd, there it is.
@oopsieloopsy Glad you did some lazy, incomplete research.
@oopsieloopsyCongratulations, you "trained" with some degenerate, couch potato reservists for a pathetic statist system.
An INTJ instills resentment by subjecting others to the same high standards he holds for himself.
My intj son was misunderstood from the age of 2 on. I get him.
I am an infj. I also am not bothered by his lack of sympathy. I knew how he got there.
He will call me back and tell me he is sorry for xyz. Because I am not demanding his gratitude
and sympathy. He is very loyal and trustworthy. If an intj trusts you . It is a great person you get. Not everyone is privileged with that.
I'm an intj with an infj daughter. She has always been my most challenging child. The one thing I did was always love her. Yes it was hard for me because I have high expectations for my children. But I refused to give up on her. I just figured do everything I could for her so that I know I did everything I could. And if there's anyone in this world I love it's my children. Watching this video I know I'm a humble intj. I have dealt with severe abuse as a child and young adult. I never thought about it until now. But it gives me more understanding of myself. But I love infjs. Good job momma.
I have an infj pops and our relationship is very similar. Infj's are amazing people. He truly understands how my brian is wired and when seemingly nice people try and take advantage of him it makes my blood boil
Veronica Jean I admire their ability to be direct, without being malicious, or arrogant, or generally attaching any emotional baggage. They appear arrogant, at times, but they aren’t, they just know they are usually right and have the confidence to prove it. They are also quite open to criticism. They take it very well. Very objectively. -INFJ
Haha I wish my parents would be more understanding. I've always been waiting for the day I could give my loyalty to someone, the person I could give me trust to however, there is no one. Everyone just bring me down saying I need to talk to people more, I need to be more sympathetic, I need to show more emotions (cuz I'm female). Like why can't you accept me. I already struggle with bullying even when I don't act myself. It's so freaking hard that people can't accept me for who I am. I'm an INTJ and this struggle is real.
infjs are most toxic people out there.
Hello dear INTJ.
Your personality type is one of the most fascinating types I have read, saw, and heard about. Nothing can't replace your creative ideas and philosophical thoughts. To me, your melancholic souls shows your beauty and honesty in this world. Just like sweet bitter chocolate.
Wait, you mean this whole time people haven't liked me and I am just finding out about this now ??? Meh .. eff them all I don't need them :p
Fi child has been the bane of my existence.
People stating INTJ to be emotionless are blatantly ignorant and/or mistyped. It's very easy to get emotionally overwhelmed if emotions aren't consciously held in check.
Not expressing sympathy towards others does have other reasons, too. Often it's matter of 'why bother?'
There's such an abstract emotional mess inside of us, which needs to be observed and curated before expression. People having literal attention spans of 5 seconds, just seeing their gaze start to drift losing interest after you just started to speak after all that work is just plain discouraging, painful and only makes it worse.
It's not out of superiority. I know I'm terrible at expressing myself. The last thing I want is to bore you. God forbid.
Furthermore I'm very ashamed of past narcissistic behaviour.
I may add that I've experienced Fi narcissism to mostly stem from overcompensation. Past failures, the constant dread of underperforming combined with being misunderstood by, subjectively, everyone make it difficult to form a healthy moral base from which to draw ambitions from.
Gratefulness and humility are changing my life. The greatest challenge for me has been the aforementioned negative effect of Si demon on Fi Child.
Faith is the way.
Fe trickster & Se inferior have always been there and once you know they're there, they become easier to deal with. Embracing social mishaps, awkwardness and embarrassements and laughing them off is also very, very liberating. To up it a notch, sharing embarassing moments with others and allowing oneself to show weakness is an absolute power move. Ironically it comes across and charming and humble (because it is) (who would've thought?)
(btw this form of showing weakness is NOT drowning in self-pity like our cousins, the ISFPs, pathetic.gif)
Also, organizing thoughts like this in journals or in RUclips comments is a tremendous way of clearing out mental fog.
Thank you for coming to my TedxTalk. It's been a pleasure talking to myself again.
(Maybe there could be some kind of a forum for correctly typed people to exchange these sorts of ideas in their own, personality-type-specific, way 🤔)
Thank you, Chase. Your work has been very, very enlightening. One day, I'll thank you personally!
sincerely,
Alex, INTJ Masterrace
You are most welcome
" People having literal attention spans of 5 seconds, just seeing their gaze start to drift losing interest after you just started to speak after all that work is just plain discouraging, painful and only makes it worse."
THIS!!! Like, I am all ready to analyze the situation in order to provide a solution, but they don't want one. Or if I want to share a similar personal experience they can't be bothered.
James Lucas sigh *people*
ISFPs are actually very similar to these descriptions. However, I am working on that self-pity part. Thanks for pointing that out.
I wasn't arrogant or narcissistic, I was raised in a way that I thought everyone was equal, so I thought I could talk about my interests freely. Also, it was hard for me to figure out when I was being taken advantage of, especially from school mates, they hated me putting boundaries (like, do your part of the work) and were harsh critics towards me (why you stand like that, why you like that, what's the use of doing that - YOU'RE NOT MORE THAN THE REST) and I was like "but, that's not what I mean." I tried to be more like them and I just became more bitter and no matter what I did, I was always wrong. One day I said, you know what, f*ck it, and I stopped caring because it was too tiring trying to be "normal."
Edit: I'm also autistic, so, a terrible scenario for me.
Of course, learning makes INTJ happy, according to you, INTJ purpose in life is to master all learning
as an INFP, i can say that they're adorable when getting a bit soft or vulnerable. had a very hard time trying to understant INTJs, but they're absolutely fascinating. looking for essence and depth, not superficial things. you have to see behind their "rudeness" to truly understand them.
WAIT ALL INFP'S I'VE SEEN SO FAR ARE SUBSCRIBED TO CONTRAPOINTS LMAO
I use to get bullied by an INTJ in school. I didn’t even know him but he use to come up to me during lunch and break, and proceed to verbally insult me.
@@sanjaymohammedthe3rd249 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm an INTJ, and I would say that our true nature: is to be kind. Even the internet ranks us as the kindest of the 16 types. I mean, INFPs are known for being the most morally upright of all the 16 types, and from my subjective experience (AND the internet): it's INTJs that they most go for (it's mutual btw). They wouldn't choose us if we didn't have high moral standards, and we wouldn't choose them if they weren't so sweet and wholesome. I mean, objectively our best match is meant to be ENTP (and it probably is-I find them much easier to talk to), yet the 'net isn't full of ENTPs and INTJs gushing over each other, it always seems to be INTJs and INFPs. An immature INTJ though, I could easily see being a bully-for a while. It's that strong Te. The thing is though, whilst objectively I may prefer Te (and ENTPs), subjectively: I've always preferred Fi (and INFPs).
I think the section on INTJs being prone to depression from overthinking is referring to existential depression, which ties into Nihilism, Absurdism, etc.
@@jellyfishi_ I'm going to need some evidence for that claim in relation to the other types. That's the first time I'm hearing of this.
@@VelesVoid I can confirm that I am religiously agnostic, thanks to my deep appreciation for the band Meshuggah.
First of all I would like to salute you Joseph you’re doing a great job and I appreciate your efforts. One point that I would like to raise is the word narcissist arguably may not be the word that describe INTJs. We are more of an elitists and perfectionists who looks down to people for a number of reasons.
Very well said
Thank you for pointing this out, those are much more accurate terms.
I cannot relate to narcissistic traits at all. I do not have the motivation to be part of a group, so I don't even get to the point where I would think of myself as more important than others. There are no others in my world except the few I chose to be in my life - and they are all better than myself. I would feel like a fraud if I would think of me as more valuable than another person, since I am aware that we all have our strength and weaknesses.
Example number 11,000 of being misunderstood
This guy is like the dad of INTJs.
INTJs: “We are so great!😘”
This guy: “Keep it in your pants!”
INTJs: ”Fiiiiiinnnneee!😒”
I wish my ENTP friend was more like that. He still has a way to go before he's anywhere close to C.S. Joseph's level, and always accuses me of not respecting him every time I revert from "friendly" ESFP Subconscious to my actual Ego.
I've probably not going to tell him my Ego is his Unconscious anytime soon, lmao
INTJ Male here. When I saw the private jet I couldn’t stop smiling. This is just who we are. Like the post said, we’ve put ourselves in incorrect relationships and situations because we thought we wanted to be “normal”. Deviation from our goals never satisfies us. We chase success and wealth above all else, and most of all never seek the spotlight because we do not desire attention. Our achievements feed our apetite and ambition so we level up on the playing field.
Facts
as an INTJ I can relate to all of this. It takes a lot to step back and realize your own faults, but you will be much happier when you do. I have spent a long time focusing on being present in the moment and constantly checking in with my personal values and it has completely changed how I feel about the world. I use to be so focused on what "worked" and was efficient towards what I wanted to the point that I would sometimes even go against my own personal values. I no longer look down on people that I use to view as lazy or dumb and just realize that they have different priorities then me, and that's ok.
The INTJ' s I know are 1. Always strategizing. 2. On a relentless search for truth...not afraid to discard an error and yet not feel the slightest embarrassment in the adjustment. In other words most types will hold on and save face at their wrong thinking and not let it go or it bruises their ego. Not so with the INTJ. So even though they come off as arrogant they're actually one of the most humble and authentic types. That's my take away. I'm an INFP.
My two older sisters are twins, and one of them is an INTJ and the other is an ISFJ. They helped each other a lot, but you can imagine my ISFJ sister freaking out when her INTJ twin was acting "weird" or "untraditional" and embarrassing her 😂😂😂
I think you are quite right in saying we are ones to cut corners. That said, to assert "learning makes us truly happy" I believe is a very INTJ thing to say. I think we want to keep up the appearance of being intellectually honest when I think much of my success in appearing intellectual comes down to knowing how to manipulate people. I'm always saying "they like me now until they find out who I really am." It gets to a point sometimes where I actually cringe when someone praises me for being smart. I try to earn the right to be considered "intellectual/academic" but sometimes it is so easy to just read a subject at surface level and pass off for an expert.
This! I cringe when people call me super clever or smart. I'm not unintelligent, but I'm usually just good at absorbing the surface level of a lot of subjects. INTJs seem to be jack of all trades but other INTJs I've met, myself included, when you dive deep their knowledge of a subject isn't usually super deep. Can be though, depends on how passionate they really are about it and if they feel it's beneficial/defeats nihilism in their life a little.
@@Sam-by3kk We learn faster than any other types, but we don't care to master everything. We only master what we want to master. We can basically do any job we want that doesn't require years of learning, but we will never be the best at that job unless we truly have an interest in it. When we truly want to be good at something, we definitely can be absolute masters of it. To me being capable of doing basically anything is one of the most amazing part of being an INTJ, but the best is knowing that when I want to master something, I will master it if I truly want to. That's something most people can't say.
True - might I say we’re the ones most likely to focus on studying the teachers’ approaches and methods instead of solely devoting ourselves to a certain subject to reach achievement? It’s always been fairly easy for me to do that. I mean, unless I strongly believe in the utility and future of a subject or field, I’ll never dedicate as much time or energy, I just learn to read others’ intentions, motivation, and point of focus to control their perception of my understanding of the subject.
@@Terror_Rick Exactly
yes; learning makes me truly happy, but that doesn't mean I have to learn every single aspect of whatever I'm studying. I think that's where CSJ's quibble is off the mark. I'm generally learning something in pursuit of something else and I like being able to do that and having the capacity for it. But I won't go down a rabbit hole for no reason. I have superficial knowledge about a lot of random shlt.
See this is what I don't get...
Why do people ask "How's your day?" when they're obviously bored and need you to tell them something fascinating?
Why do people ask "How's your exams?" if they don't wanna hear it's going great and you plan to graduate cum laude?
Why do people ask "How's work?" if they don't want to hear about how you won the case?
If it makes them uncomfortable then what do they want :p I know it's gonna make them feel better if I say I failed everything and lost my job, but really that's cringy and even if that ever happens why would I wanna tell people and have them celebrate. Just shows how evil people are :O
Or you want to complain and they regret asking. Like, you really don't care so ask a better question or keep it moving please.
They just want connection - they are looking to start and see if they want to continue - for many people that is all small talk is - a toe in the water. Not everyone though. Some really didn’t care and just do it because it’s a convenient convention that helps them get what they want from more of the people they speak to than not. For some they actually care and would happily listen to how you won the case or how bad your exam went. Some people give some of their time. Some would give all of their time. Some people don’ or can’t. I understand it is difficult to tell the differences - but not everyone’s the same. Find a system that works for you but allows you to still have contact with enough new people that you have new experiences available to you so that you have new opportunities and new opportunities to learn. Some people will surprise you if you try - don’t just assume the external evidence is all there is. Chase’s advice appears solid to me, (I am not an intj but I know intjs), and I think that there’s quite a bit to unwrap in his video here that may not be obvious straight away.
@@webkelpie Thanks for your comment. :)
You seriously need to work on your Fe Trickster.
The_Antipioneer,
That was jest, right? (But in case it wasn’t, don’t you think it would be better that an individual finds a method, a system perhaps, that gets around the issue until they can find their way to transition.)
INTJs think that they know better than anyone else. Once they decide on something as fact, they will stick to it, even if said fact has been proven otherwise. They may change their mind after they contemplate, in solitude, the new information. However, they tend to present their new found p.o.v., as if they came up with it on their own...
They also put the work in to know a subject.
They might come off arrogant but it is true that they have researched the topic for weeks or even months before attempting to discuss it. And people they discuss said topic with have not gone to such lengths because its probably not that important of a topic to begin with but this is just how intjs operate.
I do agree they discuss a subject as if it was their idea which is a flaw. They should be concise to pick the proper words when explaining to give credit where it's due.
Me personally if I am proved wrong I will change my position immediately on the spot. Theres no contemplating in solitude. The contemplation has already happened.
@J Sev How exactly?
This. This was particularly infuriating with my INTJ because he occasionally tell me how he thought I was so much smarter than him. It was never in a"That was a smart idea" kind of way that would have made it genuine. At first it was in response to seeing that my college GPA was a good bit higher than his. I wouldn't immediately assume that if I were in his shoes solely from that piece of info, but I valued the compliment nonetheless...initially.
His constant dismissiveness (and put downs if I'd bring any issue up) made it apparent that he definitely did not think that I was very smart at all. He'd sometimes repeat said compliment after I called him out for dismissing anything I said.
J Sev As time progressed, I thought it seemed manipulative more than anything else
My ESFJ constantly criticizes me but in a cute way so I can't get offended. He's very humble but super grounded so he always calls me out.
humble crusaders are truly a gift
@@lxdm26 Yes and yet he says I'm his gift :p
@@diyab1056 enough, stop bragging :)
@@lxdm26 hehe
I love ESFJs!! Sincerely, an INTJ.
I'm an INTJ- I got into acting and it has really helped me come out of my shell as well as empathize with others. I did a comedy commercial and my extroverted/ESFP? side came out- (I forgot what you call that)- but it was the best feeling in the world and brought me such joy and I highly recommend acting or singing or dance or any of the performing arts for INTJs.
"I'm an INTJ- I got into acting and it has really helped me come out of my shell as well as empathize with others. I did a comedy commercial and my extroverted/ESFP? side came out- (I forgot what you call that)" that doesn't sound like INTJ to be honest.
I am fascinated by this aspect of INTJs and ENTJs - the hidden affinity for being actors.
@@fterimage well they can assume any emotion and make a show out of it so not surprising.
I had an ESFP friend , i learned a lot from him that which I'm still grateful. I tried returning the favor by showing him the INTJ way. Till this day he still believes me to be a traitor and or a fake.. :/
@@Riiiiiingo Child or Anima-Animus Fi - Self-Expression? There's the old trope of the "Villainous Monologue" for INTJs where they finally towards the end of the story have the chance to extol their brilliance and express - as someone finally pieces together the layout of how their Ni has isolated them and put them at odds with the world.
However it's the ENTJ in particular, and their hidden penchant for *raises Macbeth skull* ACT-ING which I'm curious about too - see as I'm an INFJ I have to act all the time, I feel compelled to, I feel the same way so much of the time as an INTJ but I don't have that resting bitch face INTJs have because I'm aware the roles I have to play, but for me it's a job, not an escape - and it's what the ENTJ or INTJ is hoping to learn from acting I'm curious about.
My sympathy is not killing everyone.
I feel this on a spiritual level.
😂😂love it!
😭
As an INTJ I've been told that I take criticism very well (always trying to improve / humble brag) but at the same time I realize that I do have flaws and so do other people. I agree that for an INTJ it's really easy to become the worst version of your self especially when expanding on narrative in your head that you've created for someone else that isn't necessarily true, but sometimes people are just assholes. I feel like I give people the space to express whatever feelings they need to and that empathy isn't reciprocated, especially when they do something that actually hurts my feelings (which they typically act like I don't have) and it really does become necessary to treat all my relationships like investments as stated in this video.
I think that INTJs can be some of the best humans of all because their struggles are felt so intensely that it gives them the opportunity to make almost anybody recognize themselves in those and feel really seen. I'm not even very compatible with INTJs but I can say that the positive words I heard from them and ISTJs are basically the only ones who have ever made me feel so much happiness that not even my Si demon will be able to forget. I'm not very sensitive to that type of thing and not even Fi heros or parents have even came close to impacting me the way Fi child has. It's just really upsetting to see that sometimes, maybe because of cycles of people misunderstanding INTJs and them doing the same to others, all of that amazing potential gets used to doing the perfect opposite of what builds strong and long lasting bonds with others. They just have that special thing about them that happens to be extra powerful whether they use it to make others love or hate them.
Anyways C.S Joseph, thank you for helping us INTJs to improve our lives.
Please don’t give up on us. We are just trying to live a good life, so please don’t give up on us.
I’ll try. I have no choice but to have hope. Even though they have harmed me more than everyone else.
@@CSJoseph How did INTJs harm you?
I know an INTJ with an INTP for an older brother. The INTJ boasted that he could beat the INTP at chess because he could think 10 moves ahead. The INTP decided to humble his younger brother, schooling him in chess. He basically moved his pieces in such a way to make the INTJ have to try and think put ten moves each turn because he could not have predicted the move he made nearly every turn. When the INTJ had sufficiently worn down mentally, only then did the INTP go for the INTJs king. It wasn't even about winning but about proving that his logic could be subverted and not to be so arrogant.
INTJ wouldn't boast anything as they dont seek glorification that way, they would think that but not boast about it. Innately doing it takes your execution and opens the opportunity to what you described here to happen.
But you did said it was a younger person discovering the ins and out of their strengths and weaknesses.
Those types of teachings are great development for him 👍 Just note now that kid will come back with a thunder as this experience created a goal and revenge lol
@@DeusEstNatura INTJs are incredibly vain and desecrating by default because society puts them in a toxic side of their mind
my intj sister was watching pretty little liars and i said in passing that it was a stupid show and she never talked to me about shows she liked for years lol she took it so personally omg
lmao my isfj friend likes riverdale and i criticised that bs so badly and she tried to ignore me but couldn't. Superego simlarities i guess.
@@aladdout9454 my isfj wife likes Riverdale too lol she's pretty cool though
@@patriciaeddishaw9244 yeah im like the opposite of that. on the outside ill be like aww a cute kitty. on the inside im cold and calculated always thinking in flashes of images never sentimental
That's might not because she have taken that seriously. We INTJs don't like wasting our time on meaningless shows. I haven't watched any web series yet in my life (I'm 19 anyways) on my own. It's like If you recommend me, I will give it a try, and moreover I will either finish that show within a day or two, or it will take me forever. Probably she haven't seen any show that might feel like she have really enjoyed. There is no way she can take such a small thing so personally.
@@intj1782 that's so cute you're 19 don't do anything bad like I did! Lol
I think INTJs' main problem is
the dilemma of either choosing to be ourselves and show it to the world homestly
but then people who misunderstand us get hurt,
or choosing to be nice instead but at least people don't get hurt because of us this way,
but either way
we INTJs can get seriously misarable.
Only really spent time with one that I think was INTJ. A constantly frustrated and stressed slightly asocial workaholic machine that never malfunctioned, no matter the workload. He was a cool dude. I enjoyed talking with him and seeing how he went about things. Interesting dude, don't know how he could keep it up.
RUclips obviously knew I needed to hear some of this. I’ve completely removed myself from society for many reasons, one being that I somehow became the villain when all I was trying to do was help people by working hard. But people saw that as arrogant and commanding and that I was some evil dictator. It probably doesn’t fit with the INTJ personality but I’m very sympathetic to others, others emotions, I want to comfort people and don’t want anyone sad if I can help it. Guess the way I went about it seemed inauthentic or was taken in the completely wrong way. These days I’m just too scared to do anything. If I don’t associate with anyone and try to have friends, no one (new) can hate me. But that’s...probably feeling sorry for myself and being narcissistic? I don’t even know anymore. At least I can’t hurt anyone else this way?
@dasein 35 this year. I certainly feel too old. I ruined/my life was ruined/disability ruined my life and depression and loneliness is doing the rest. I don’t know if loneliness is an “everyone” thing, but I’ve felt lonely my whole life. I can totally see loneliness being an INTJ thing.
@@dasein9980 wow, that hit home man, I'm 25, and I have been feeling the same loneliness and isolation, that sometimes went to be so painful that it was verging suicidal thoughts... But what I started realising lately is that the control to connect with people, make that first step is in our hands. Sure, won't feel comfortable, due to se inferior.. Sure, we'd rather stay in our ni box than engage with the world... Sure, we can get hurt by opening to people... But ultimately by deciding to open to the world, we have the control in our hands to get out of loneliness..
I've been struggling with that, being afraid that I could get hurt, and misunderstood etc.., so I shut myself off.. But what's the alternative? Either accepting a lonely existence where your only comfort is your false sense of superiority, and at the end of your life you'll look back with regret, OR opening to the world, risking pain, but also allowing good things to come in, being grateful and humble, and just making that first step as a practice..
man, when these videos are about types you've met and really know, it really hits close to home
He’s met and “really knows” all the types what r u saying
@@ayoungprince6771 when it's about the ones I have known and met
I feel like you’re describing a less healthy or less mature intj. It could be my upbringing and certain big events, but I don’t really have that problem when interacting with people. I have more problems legitimately caring about people, regardless of if I act like it and if I help them out or listen to their problems and try to cheer them up, whatever it may be. It is social barriers I impose upon myself unconsciously.
"Nihilism is no excuse because all of us have something to be grateful for" That one hit deep. Took a long time for me to realize this nugget of truth. That doesn't end the struggle tho. It only gets harder from there.
Why are you yelling at me? I watched your whole video. You should be grateful.
That's a very defensive INTJ statement.
As an INTJ I'm immensely grateful to my ESTJ mother who taught me how to appreciate and care for the community we live in and "pierced my balloon" (as she would put it) whenever needed!
All the INTJs I have met are so arrogant to the point of seeming antisocial. I notice they like to tear you down when angry at you but then say they were just joking afterwards when they were not...because they can’t get past there pride to apologise..or they just don’t care.
I had an INTJ assistant at a previous job and she was awesome. She had an excellent work ethic and a great sense of humour, I'm an INFP and we got along really well. The other part of our trio was an ENFJ. I really miss that team.
OMG! I'm an ENFJ and my friend group is INFPs and an INTJ. Guess it's a good trio~ Hopefully you'll find some solace in your future friendships xx
Infp getting along with an intj? No
I'm an INTJ, and I LOVE INFPs and ENTJs. Two of my favourite types.
@@sanjaymohammedthe3rd249 I think you just had a bad experience with one dude, when you and they were young. As an INTJ, my no#1 type: is INFP, always has been. With that said, I don't love them all. I used to hang with a herd of hippie peaceniks, most of whom were probably INFP. I fuc**ng HATE hippies, so they would be the exception for me. But the exception doesn't make the rule.
Finally an intj video for everyone 🌞
Yeah, the tragic irony of being an INTJ is that I am much more likable when I start treating people like *things* instead of people.
I used to follow the Golden Rule, and treat others the way I wanted to be treated. Yeah, that doesn't work for INTJs. People HATE being treated like my equal, and they HATE receiving my respect... but when I treat people like objects and possessions that require upkeep they suddenly like me. I can only treat others from a position of superiority. It's both infuriating and lonely at the same time. Rare is the person like Joseph who can keep up.
Truth
As an INTJ I almost NEVER speak on my achievements. Like nearly never, even as a child. I’ve always been a Doer and never really talk about it. Soooo please break this down.
Thanks man. I want people to criticize me so that I can actually improve and not ignore me. Your criticism helps. Thanks again
why did I almost cry while watching this video? Seriously, i feel i just got extremely humbled by listening to your analysis; I’m so thankful for finding your channel.
i feel the same
Also, if the reason INTJs have difficulty treating others with empathy is that most people have difficulty treating INTJs with empathy since INTJs are so rare, then wouldn’t we expect to see a similar lack of empathy from the other NJ types, given that they’re all roughly as rare as INTJs?
The last part reminds me of PragerU: "How to be more happy? Be more grateful!" Yes, because ungratefulness, entitlement, and a lack of respect for what one is able to have right now, makes it far more easier for even the most afortunate people to become the poorest, in a day..
What type is Dennis Prager anyways
@@st3llarmemer111 my guess: ESTP
@@waltertaboada9319 How to stop being self entitled?
I match the functions of intj. But I hate a lot of the stereotypes.
Yeah, INTJ myself, and assuming you’re talking about the general “emotionless masterminds” or the “anti-people anti-hero,” I find them lacking depth of character despite the frequent generous use of words such as “deep” or “insightful” to describe them.
The overall picture for these stereotypes appears (to me) immature, ignorant and other times just plain depressing or pathetic. I never found sources where INTs’ flaws are studied and understood more in-depth (or blatantly called out), so the analysis so far from CSJ about INTJ and their bullsh*t is refreshing. It makes it so much easier to embrace my flaws and map points of improvement-it’s liberating.
I just talked to someone yesterday about my Fi getting weaker or "me losing sight of my moral compass" as my Te was developing and I was getting Te focused. You explained this perfectly
as an enfj i dont dislike them i love them i just think they need to actually feel things and not blow up and relaliate on innocent people. its happened to people around me like 10 times with 10 different intjs
As an INTJ, I listened to the whole video in an open minded way and I think you just perfectly described an immature INTJ with no purpose in real Life...
I think a fully mature INTJ is just a Total Powerhouse with hell of a Game, an all-arounder to the fullest. Super humble, very charming with an abundance mindset, can't be manipulated so lil tricks from 48 laws of power can't help you bec Ni see right through the bluff...
Believe it or not but most INTJs run the world by pulling the strings behind the scenes from the secret societies...
For my fellow INTJs, connect with your Purpose man, you have the highest chance of becoming a Millionaire and improving all your flaws bec you tunnel vision all the things you wanna improve as your duty, responsibility and obligation!
Are you claiming you are mature?
As an INTJ, didn't expect the reference on the 'bromance' between Nietzche and Salomé. Greetings.
Waaayyy late to this party myself but I definitely feel like you are right about the gratitude thing, at least from my perspective. I could definitely spend more time showing them I do care, and not just through words, though I do try to let people know that as well.
I have had some friends in the past not really appreciate it, but I can't let that stop me from showing those who deserve it they are appreciated. Thanks for making great content and putting it out into the world!
Sounds like an enormous amount of work and waste of energy. I show gratitude to those who deserve it. Most don't.
How do you judge another human’s deservation
@@CSJoseph by their behavior
Fantastic video, it describes me in my bitter and nihilistic moods very well.
It's hard to appreciate others when all I think about is my own self-worth and achievement.
I don't know if this is relatable to other INTJs, but I feel like I just have to achieve one big thing and then people will appreciate me more. Then I can "prove them all wrong", because I ended up more "important" than all the others.
That my arrogant "god-complex" behavior was justified in the end, lmao.
This is fucking relatable!
You are just unhealthy. Healthy intjs are not like this
I feel heavy bias and personal feelings. It seems you do not like INTJ and assign all negative traits to them. The nicest thing you said was they're genius level manipulators. I've scrolled through your vids. The INTJ videos you've posted, that I've seen, are negative. I do not see you consistently negatively criticizing other personality types. You said you don't say nice things to them because you need to teach them a lesson in humility.
Take the time to get know people. I am not a description in a text book. I've spent over a decade helping people, professionally, and I take pride in my success helping other succeed. I cry and bleed for people. The difference between you and I is I'm not intentionally mean. I don't feel the need to humble anyone. I do not actively avoid saying nice things to people based on a personality type.
Nobody cries for me. I don't expect anyone to, but I cry for them.
I couldn't pay my rent. I gave my last 15 dollars to a homeless guy that was lying to me. I watched people ignore and treat him poorly, I felt his pain, and acted sympathetically. I am not a monster.
In my experience as an INTJ, I study philosophy and make virtue ethics and deontology my goal. My goal is self improvement and being the best version of myself I can possibly be.
How you choose to be perceived by others is ultimately up to you as an individual. INTJ's have great potential to change how they are viewed by themselves and others. It takes determining who you want to be in the future and focusing your area of mastery onto yourself. You might be the smartest person in the room, but if you do not have the ability to influence and work with others, you might as well not be there. Being an INTJ does not make others dislike you; how you choose to interact and influence others might.
Learning about emotional intelligence, leadership and meditation can help. Seek feedback from others to understand yourself and find out how you are perceived by them. Find others to mentor and be humble. Aim to make others more skilled than you are. Offer advice, but realise a good question is often better. Make sure those close to you are positive; you develop based on the five people closest to you.
Other people are concerned about their own lives and are not spending every waking moment thinking about how they can affect you. Don't project your thought patterns onto others; you already know most of the world does not think like you.
This is not to become like other people, just a better version of yourself. Everyone has the responsibility to improve themselves rather than expecting others to change to meet their desires.
I’m an INTJ man and was hoping to find, and actually did find, an INTJ woman. She’s fantastic. She’s so easy to deal with, so communicative, so reliable, so supportive, disciplined, smart, accomplished, stable, good looking, works out every day. No drama, no games, straightforward, cares about truth over anything else which makes her very real. Her natural response to pretty much anything is, yes. I don’t know what to say besides an INTJ is an exceptional person and seeing her from the outside gives me more appreciation for myself because of course I have much of her same qualities and values. An INTJ with another INTJ is bliss.
She’s an ENTP
She’s taken the test. Multiple times. She’s been INTJ her whole life. Same for me. I took it a couple years ago which was INTJ and later found an old college test result (given by counselors) from 20 years prior that said INTJ. I didn’t pay attention to the letters at the time so didn’t even recall that.
Probably my favorite quality is that she’s even keeled. So easy to talk to because she’s always logical and rational and not very judgmental. She’s always in a good mood. Always wants to be helpful.
And she’s very introverted. No way in hell she’s an E.
Why??? A is for arrogance. INTJs are so interesting to talk to until the arrogance comes bubbling to the surface.
@Humility First No type has a monopoly on arrogance. However, over 90% of the INTJs I have ever met are arrogant. This is an amazingly high rate and I don't not observe such a high rate of arrogance in other MBTI types.
I find their arrogant god-complex really cute tbh - because it always seems so undeveloped to me (like a boy trying to be a big man). they expose themselves a lot, and i agree Fi-child is easy to play with. i love intjs to bits. the only thing is that in their quest to get what they want, they can sometimes get quite selfish and trample on others, forget their Fi-morals. That's when the god-complex is not so cute anymore because it's just not good enough. Especially compared to yours lol - when you're an INFP (lead-Fi) anyway...
@@stevedavenport1202 Can you define arrogance?
@@menthol1234 I define it the way it is popularly understood.
Humility First it is definitely particular with this type.
Talking about achievements "puts people off"? How, why, what the hell?? How about they start putting in the work and actually achieve something.
I'm more than happy to discuss their aspirations from time to time and see if I have some advice. Oh wait, no one wants advice. People want to fail.
Why is it bad to be self-focused? Other people show time and time again how worthless they can be with their self-pity and whining. Their lack of any ambition and inability to solve their own problems only gets me depressed. They can sit in a corner by themselves while I climb the ladder. That's not a God-complex, letting yourself be dragged down by others is weakness.
Here's an immature comment for you: "It's not my fault I'm better than everyone else".
Again, no God-complex, simply a realistic outlook on life.
It creates envy and jealousy
You may hate this answer but the woman side of Red Pill explains this super well. Nobody (especially men in a romantic setting) cares about what you achieve. It isn't going to benefit them unless you are an expert and doing something in a corporate setting. Even then, people do not admire you more for your achievements. They are like okay whatever and envy will build over time.
@@AshleyDeaton1230999 I know men are wired to not really give a hoot about a woman's achievements, but you have to understand that none of that changes how INTJs are. I don't desire achievement because of feminism or because of some misguided notion that climbing the corporate ladder or making money will make me happy; I don't care about those things. I genuinely desire to deeply understand and excel at a subject (preferably something that involves analyzing the world), and doing so gives me an almost transcendant fulfillment that no relationship has been able to provide as of yet.
I mean, maybe there's an evolutionary reason that INTJ women are rare...
@@AshleyDeaton1230999 Having achievements does gain respect - mostly from male INTJs, interestingly enough. ENFJ here xx
I have a real problem with the victim hood mentality. The lack of accountability. And, if asked, I’m not able to hide my viewpoint. I’m logical not emotional. I’m factual not fact less. I don’t like betas. Now a day’s feels like I’m surrounded by them.
Thank you for this. I’m trying to grow as an individual and all of the stereotypes and the glorification of intjs on the internet does not help.
Isfps are similar. They are also so in love with themselves and they talk about their achievements and how good they are, about good things that they did, but they do good things also to make other people think they're good.
Hmm, i know like 3 ISFP’s and only one of them is somewhat like that, so i wouldn’t really agree with your statement.
"Treat everyone like an investment portfolio...👌🏾"
Excellent
How dare you call INTJs out, Chase. Attacking our flaws to help us grow and be better people. I can’t believe you. If I was secure, I’d take that advice and utilize it to the fullest.
Interesting. Just had a conversation last night with my boss about being gratefull for what we have professionally. The company was going to shut down and we where the last effort/chance the administration was willing to concede (had failed twice before with other people). Also I expressed admiration for his sense of morality, which is actually pretty good and inspiring.
A few months ago, I talked to my INTJ friend about socializing. I told him I only socialize in the extent that it gives me what I need to build the life I want. However, in order to get something you have to give something back. That was a realization I had a few years ago. Trading a high (job) performance for the resources to build my life.
As for the know-it-all part, everyone knows something deeper then you just like there is always someone better then you out there.
I would recommend reading: How to win friends and influence people, and The Laws of Human Nature.
"INTJs are arrogant due to child god complex."
I actually thought I was stupid as a child. I didn't grow into my brain, as it were, until I was in my mid-twenties.
Even still, one of my greatest errors is to default to the assumption that any person I'm dealing with is about as intelligent as I am. I have to actively decide to remind myself that the person in question may not be intelligent at all. When I do remember that one fact, interpersonal interactions become immensely easier.
One of the classic lines i heard recently is an apparent apology that went "Sorry I told you off. You don't have as fast processing as I do and I judged you against myself. "
Uhhh... thanks? Sometimes I wish I could slap them out of the superiority complex.
Often times been berated for being wrong and ridiculous only to be proven right in the end, and I have to point this out myself. I have never heard "hmm maybe I'm wrong, let me think about that". Intj is automatically right in every way.
Funny tho just saw 2 intjs interact and one (doctor) lectured, dismissed the other as paranoid and ridiculous and the second was so offended he vowed to neve see him again. Ironically blind to the hypocrisy.
We have a superiority complex because we usually are superior, intellectually. We almost never state an opinion unless we have very good reason to believe we're right; we research everything into the ground. I'm right 99% of the time, so if I say you're wrong, you're probably wrong. I've had people insist that I was wrong, then 20 years later, "everybody" knows what I knew the entire time.
Thank you for your time and valuable comments, seriously. (from a grateful INTJ :P )
Recently, I have survived and escaped a warzone (where the rest of my family still there and can never ever see them again), and I kind of developed this feeling of hating on people, not seeing any hope, and the world is doomed, and that the only way I can fix it is by burning it or something. I can't do that, so I am sort of stuck with my PTSD for now.
This got me now more interested to know about how my Superego ISFJ would manifest. I kind of feel scared of the anger inside me, and I know all of the types would feel something similar to that after the experience of living under war for over 9 years and losing touch with your family for almost ever, however I am really bad in fitting with the new society (or any society I guess!) or finding a community, and even if I found one I do feel ashamed of myself to join them, that I will annoy everyone or "give them a bad experience" due to how sad I seem.
Anyway, great video as always. ^_^
I am glad you are free
Sorry for what you have been through. It must be tough being away from your family also. I hope you find people to connect with. There are other sad people out there too looking for a friend
@@CSJoseph Thanks!
@Soundeater It is in Gaza, Palestine.
Yes, I guess so .. thanks
@@bobbyjean1581 Thanks, I am doing better with time, and yes ..I believe so.
I think a lot of these things you mentioned the 2nd half of this, are things that we can train out of ourselves; or at least, I have worked hard for 15 years or so to train these traits out of myself. We just have to be very, very aware of what makes ourselves tick, and pay attention to that. (edit - at least with the gratitude...sympathy is just something that's pretty hard. I trade sympathy for waiting to find out how I can assist I think)
According to MBTI, INTJs make up 2.1% of the population. 3.3% of the male population but only 0.9% of the female population.
@@Wicca_Witchcraft lmao
You forget one very important thing. The investment can't be just once, or once a year. It has to be regular and it has to be genuine. And that's the real hard part and the reason why many INTJ's fail. They might go ahead and show gratitude to the people they care for, but then tire of it, retreat or forget about it and drop back into the old state. I know, because that's what usually happens to me. Which reminds me, I should call my mum.
We are very insecure, cautious, secretive, and somewhat obsessive. Always in fear of being double crossed. Also, astute as a serpent. Very similar to the scorpion archetype of the Zodiac. What a funny coincidence, and yet again, we do not believe in coincidence. Haha.
I’m an INTJ who needed to hear this. Thanks bro. Subscribing.
You literally hit the nail on the head. I often think I'm being generous, when I'm actually being controlling. And I am bitter because of my past. 🤷🏽♂️
Having a positive outlook on life and gaining gratitude have been very hard-fought achievements in my life. I don't remember exactly how I got them, but I appreciate them to the fullest extent of my being.
I liked the investing comparison a lot. Thanks for that :)
I love the slow uptake into passionate response to INTJs from the ENTP c.s.joseph its beautiful
I (INTP) dislike some INTJs because;
- They prefer to listen television, newspaper, midwit "experts", or religious authority; even if they know you are much better informed than them, you have to have PhD on every discussion, you have to write books or you have to be some kind of messiah or angel. They expect me to debate with these "experts" and dominate them. (Yeah, you just collect every junk in your brain and I will clean these junks for you. And my time is not important, I just keep debating with them while you put another junk in your brain) Otherwise they can even critise you because you read to much for them. They even claim sarcastically I can only be right if "experts" are morons or conspirers. (Even if you prove them their "experts" are liars or morons, they will just move to goalpoast perpetually)
- You have to prove your negative claim (i.e. "There is no cockroach on Mars surface") to them, but they don't even try to prove their positive claims [i.e. "Many Albians works for secret cabal to raise the Anti-Zod, they have influence on every authority, (but let's obey to this Albian controlled authority)"].
- They imitate weird things even if they disgust from source of action.
- They do "good" things even you warned them don't do this "good" things.
- You have to explain agreements many times, otherwise they will imagine if you promised somethings. Agreement is a positive thing, if I didn't say "I will do this", then don't expect it from me. If it's hard to remember agreement then write it down somewhere with capital letters/colored pens etc. what I do and what you do.
- Some of them has god complex but I am better god than you (expect "experts", they are greatest gods).
- Don't expect humbleness from others, while you are doing nothing or even worse filling your brain with junk.
- Repetition doesn't make anything true, it makes you fail many times or makes you a parrot/sheep.
- If you don't critisize harshly, they will probably join to weird cults.
Daaaaaannnggg
A lot of this applies to Istjs as well. There does exist both Intjs and Istjs who have a more developed Te and trust in their Ti, and can understand reasons not to listen to authority. It just takes constant and verifiable criticism of the authority to get them to understand. I used to be a "trust the scientists, they know what they're doing" kind of guy until somebody brought to light to me just how corrupt the science industry is, and how easily statistics and studies can be manipulated. Now, I do my own research, or I do not except some 'scientific' claim made at all.
And I have people like you to thank for it, so thank you.
Wow. All of these things apply to my dad. I always thought he was an ESFP as he was always just Se raging all over the place all the time. Si demon bitterness, Fi child god complex, lack of gratitude. These are all spot on. I actually thought my dad was a narcissist growing up until I tried to actually understand him. He was certainly taken advantage of and mistreated growing up, but he decided to take it out on all of the wrong people. I realized he was just super insecure and Nihilistic all the time. It was super frustrating to deal with as a child.
One of my best friends is an INTJ and yup... people don't like her and think of her as disrespectful. But she is super open minded and is always looking for knowledge, I respect her so much because she can make things happen.... I can't xD
INFP.
wait till she back-stabs you when 'making something happen' for herself lol. u might even fall for her self-narrative and excuses, or forgive her anyway since ur an infp....
@@noraflood6482 I might be confused then, perhaps she is not an INTJ because she never excuses herself, before, after or during anything. Thanks for the info... even thou I'd never get in her way when she is trying to get something... that would be a 'dick' move from me. I have no goals now, I just feel alone sometimes and want some company, why would I get in the way of someone who is actually working to go somewhere?
@@needyourname438 ah sorry that was just a little harsh of me. But I know INTJs to be "schemers" (not necessarily in a bad way - they just plan and machinate towards their own ends according to their Fi). But if you happen to be in the way they seem quite ok with just disadvantaging or hurting you in order to achieve their own desires (usually secretly, behind the scenes). They don't "push people aside" quite as obviously as ENTJs though, but imo just as ruthlessly....the INTJs I know have all (every single one of them) done something like this before in order to get ahead...that's actually partially what endears them so much to me. Because they are a mix of ruthlessness and goodness. You always wish the Fi will triumph in the end...but they always seem to lapse at least once or twice at critical moments when it counts....so can really hurt you, whether as friend or lover..The ones I know who've done this are also often full of regret (But you're right - they don't go around making "excuses" to others. They don't feel that they have to. I'm very sure they are "excusing" themselves in their own heads though - you can see how their internal processes of self-justification play out elsewhere in their words and actions) Very "high-minded" some of them - perhaps that's the "god-complex" referred to here. Again another reason why this INFP falls for them lol. All the wrong reasons. On the whole they are super loyal and if they like you they really do and will do so much for you!
@@noraflood6482 I'll take all of your words :') thanks. However, I see we have had different experiences with the XNTJs. My first boss was an ENTJ. The only man who gave me and opportunity when no one would. One day a co-worker told me the ENTJ made a comment about me: "I like her, she works hard" (Aparently he had seen me working while everyone was at lunch, but I did that just because I was scared to talk to the team) After that day I started working SUPER HARD so I would not ruin the image he had of me. The ENTJ trusted me with a lot of work and I gave my best. I screwed up BIG TIME ONCE. He never said anything... he just stopped delegating me things and my heart broked.
When I left the job he wished me the best of lucks and told open up my own bussiness. He was intimidating, but I admired him so much.
(-sigh- I really want this Covid situation to be over. Has it ruined things for you too?)
@@needyourname438 also - don't take their crap to heart! they pounce on us like this sometimes (i'm sorry but ENTJs talk so much crap). accept the compliment and move on! dont get trapped by ur own Fi! sorry im talking so much! im worried abt INFPs elsewhere being run down by the NTJs lol. good to have them on your side - but remember they will always feel better being 'above' you (and we like them to feel good abt themselves and remain in our 'place'...) that's so stupid though - we really dont have to! (could pretend though - Ne's good at that). Sending you my abstract thoughts and strength!
Part 1
{ "No, not really. INTJs get really caught up in Te processes, especially like with education, institutions, or credentials, or some type of proof of achievement that they think has value when the reality is those two are arbitrary." -C.S Joseph on the point 'INTJs cannot accept things as they are; we need to know 'why.' }
C.S Joseph is incorrect on this point. While it is true that INTJs devote a lot of focus to education and Te processes in academia and our career, we are not obsessed with having 'credentials' or having a way to 'prove our achievement' to others. INTJs like validation from others, but do not require it for their self-esteem. It's nice to have credentials, a degree, or proof of our intelligence, but we do not place value on it as C.S Joseph stated. As an INTJ I agree that these things are arbitrary. But many INTJs don't actually care about this kind of official validation of our intelligence. I don't need others to recognize my intelligence, nor do I require a degree or certification or other academic proof on paper to make me 'feel' intelligent. I don't use my educational achievements to deny others the right to question my intelligence. It doesn't matter how licensed or certified I am as an expert; others still have a right to question my intelligence regardless how 'smart' an institution says I am on paper.
As an INTJ I have always been interested in the 'why' behind everything. I don't accept things just because someone told me 'that's just the way it is.' I ask for an explanation. 'Why' is that the way it is? The why is always more important to me than blindly accepting what I'm told to believe just 'because someone else said so.' We want there to be a valid reason behind it so we can feel secure knowing it was the right thing to do. You don't know if something is right or wrong if you don't ever question why and discover the truth.
{"I kinda disagree with that. INTJs do have a reputation of cutting corners when it suits them." -C.S Joseph on the point: Learning genuinely makes us feel happy.}
This is a very vague judgment from C.S Joseph when he disagrees here. It is true that we may at times pick and choose information that supports our argument, but this is in an effort to make our argument more concise and avoid wasting time on irrelevant information. Not everything we learn in school/college is valuable to us later in life, but that can be said for any personality type. What this point is trying to say is that INTJs enjoy learning, and this is true. INTJs do find a special joy in learning. But C.S Joseph has taken the slant that we desire to learn with ulterior motives in mind, which isn't relevant to the actual point, which is: learning genuinely makes INTJs feel happy. And this is true. Learning makes us happy.
{ We can't be impulsive }
I actually agree with C.S Joseph here when he disagrees with this point. I'm an INTJ, and we are definitely capable of being impulsive. We may filter everything through a moral, logical lens, but we are also very aware of what we want and what we know. INTJs are goal-oriented, which means we strive for things very persistently in life. We will go to great lengths to get what we want. We have our own unique personal aesthetic, ambitions, and goals, and when we see something we want, we chase after it. If you find what an INTJ 'wants' you can easily motivate an INTJ, because they'll do almost anything within that moral, logical scope to get it. As an INTJ matures they become less 'up tight' or 'OCD' about things being organized and falling within their comfort zone, and will learn to live and let live, having learned through experience how to enjoy being a bit more social and go with the flow easier. With experience INTJs become more lax on their strict routines and start trying new things on a whim or at the request of friends and family without feeling anxious. It is false to say an INTJ cannot be impulsive.
{ INTJs are arrogant, but also painfully insecure. }
I'm not surprised C.S Joseph agrees with this point in the video, but INTJs are not arrogant. A toxic INTJ without any humility is arrogant, yes, but the majority only 'come across' as arrogant. INTJs are self-motivated, confident in what we know, honest about what we don't know, and make logically rational decisions decisively. We may come across as arrogant or prideful, and may be criticized for 'always needing to be 'right,' but we don't actually 'need to be right.' We're not trying to be 'right.' We're not trying to come across as arrogant. We're not trying to be smarter than someone else or rub our intelligence in their face. INTJs are open to being proven wrong with facts, data, logical reasoning, sources, and evidence, but someone who is emotionally irrational in the moment or chooses to believe in their own subjective definition of what they 'want' to be true doesn't make any sense to us, and we tend to regard these individuals as willfully ignorant and not worth our time if they refuse to even consider our perspective and listen to the objective truth and take a break from their own subjective truth. INTJs are a decisive type who make confident decisions, and this swift drive to act on our own convictions is often perceived as arrogance, when to an INTJ it just seemed like the best path to choose. It just 'made the most sense.' It wasn't a decision made in spite of someone else; it just seemed like the right way to go.
Admittedly, this decisive nature can get us into trouble, and this is where INTJs do need constructive criticism from others. We will make confident decisions thinking we made the right choice without a shred of doubt it was the correct decision, only to realize we jumped to conclusions, were totally wrong about something, completely misread a person or situation, or didn't consider another possibility than the one we thought to be the case. This is where having Ni instead of Ne is a problem for us. Ni narrows information down into the most concise, likely possibilities, so INTJs are more likely to believe in 'what is most likely the case' instead of remaining open to the possibilities. INTPs have Ne, which is constantly considering all different angles and possibilities. While this may make it harder for an INTP to identify what they want in any given situation and gives them less certainty of what they know, it allows them to escape the trap INTJs fall into: making educated assumptions. Even though we're 99% certain of something, have a lot of information backing up that conclusion, and are typically right as a result, we will all face a time when we are totally and completely wrong, and are plagued with oversights because we failed to consider the most random or unlikely possibilities.
Is there anyway to triple like a video or more ?? This video and advice is insightful and exceedingly helpful. Okay, Mr Joseph most definitely hats off to you.
Thank you for adding the solution to not being a doormat. It confirms where I am on my journey. Much love!
Dude Ti child God complex is kind of more annoying because it is hard to see sometimes from the outset because they have slightly more social awareness so its difficult to see, especially to their friends. Good video!
yea same i honestly find Ti god complex much more annoying. Fi child-god is kinda cute (until you actually fall for it though and believe them and get hurt)
@@noraflood6482 agreed
tbh I have been meaning to volunteer time at a homeless shelter to better get in touch with my Fi and or raise my neuroticism and to treat relationships as investments is a perfect analogy for us INTJ's to follow
The more I listen the more inaccuracies I see with regard to me, I’m generous and grateful, and I’ve taken the test several times....and always the same results, with one exception and that was over ten years ago when i got ENTJ. So giving to those in need, recognizing the service industry people in malls and other piling places to paying for the struggling person in front of me grocery’s at the grocery store. And this has been apart of me since I can remember. Once again I’ve taken this test personally and as a requirement for work that was given by a professional and the results have consistently been the same. INTJ and not being “narcissistic” but the negatives especially about how we entreat people with the lack of kindness just doesn’t fit me AT ALL.
I agree with you. The harsh stereotypes (e.g. arrogance, ingratitude, unsympathetic) does not align with my behavioral patterns or core values. As YOU grow older in maturity, the investment portfolio analogy will be start to manifest, if you (as an INTJ) acknowledge and apply yourself consistently.
I disagree that the most brilliant INTJ was Frank Abegnail, there are much greater people whom were INTJs, starting from Isaac Newton to Marie Curie to Nietzsche, Nikola Tesla,, etc, Frank Abegnail certainly does not represent the peak of an INTJ.
Tesla is an NTP
@@CSJoseph No
All really good points, the effects of sharing my accomplishments on other people took a while to understand. For a while I thought I had to do so to show my value to the person, though often times it wasn’t anything of substance or the person felt inadequate and low key “hated” me for it. Now I do my best not to share, unless you are a close friend and our relationship is less focused on who is better vs mutual growth, and growth on either side makes both people happy.
I know you said that incels are most often INFPs or something to that effect in your INFP cognitive transition lecture, but I think that is actually describing the “nice guy” stereotype which is something different. The truth is that on the internet, most incels are INTJs (though usually they would deny that label and obsess over physical self-improvement)
Yes and Crusaders and NPs struggle with that the most
Honestly true. My friend and I are both good looking and have a easier time initially attracting women. He is an INFP and dries them up by being overbearingly nice, I may manage to have them stick around longer due to dark triad appeal but am ultimately too intense, demanding or uninterested.
Getting back at others for wanting your time is pettiness. Not a moral trait.Vengeance is mine says the lord
What exactly does an INTJ owe gratitude to all these falsely judgmental individuals for? For their mere existence? Talk about narcissism.
You have the best descriptions of types on RUclips! INTJ bitterness hit home for me. It wasn’t until I hit my 30s that was I able to overcome the negative internal thought patterns and arrogance.
Oh and the nihilistic “depression”! 😫 So true.
I loved when you said “fake an illness, yes, as well as fake an identity” 😂
You’re a funny guy! 😄
that “attention is only given and it is never earned” BAAAM! 🤣