So the child’s voice is not heard? What if the father is a big time narcissist? Does the court have any knowledge of psychological and emotional abuse?
No, they hardly ever listen to the child or consider those things. They have virtually no concept of emotional/psychological abuse, or the concept of coercive control post separation. This is especially true if it's a mother bringing up abuse allegations against a father. Usually, the accusations will not be believed by the judge (even if there is compelling evidence or the child discloses) and then the father can counter-claim that mom is filing false abuse reports and "alienating" the child for no good reason. Then the court will remove the child from the mother's care, even though she was simply trying to protect the child from further harm. In some cases, even if the court believes the father has committed domestic violence in the past, they will view the mother's attempts at protection as a more harmful action to the child than the father's violence. I have seen it first hand, I can promise you I am not making this up. Happens all the time, and that's the dirty secret about family court. Piggy backing off of that point, this is why DV advocates hate "Parental alienation" theory - its way too easy for an actual abuser to hijack the concept, and make their victims looks like the perpetrator of post separation violence.
I don’t know… my kids mom molested my daughter, my daughter who was 4/5 at the time reported the abuse. It went to court. Forensic investigators the works. She ended up telling them way more than she told me… probably because I was freaking out it. Because the lawyer for Dhs didn’t fill out one form and submit it… the case got suppressed… my daughter’s voice was silenced… and later on gave her MORE parenting time and my daughter hates it! They say tell someone and when the kid tells someone and more than one person and silenced because of 1 document???? How does that work?? I’m constantly having to tell my daughter to be brave and we have to follow the court order…. Makes me sick that I can’t protect her… and the state knowing this… allows it! Wow
They never listen to the children's needs. My children's mom have been abusive to my children even though the court ruled in my favor. They still go with the mom for 2 overnights, I have videos, and even during phone calls, she has beat them up, but by court order they have to go.
Are serious? “The law is more important than your child’s wants or needs.” That is bs. The SAFETY of the child is more important than a law that will make them unsafe. This video acts like the parent a child that they don’t want to see must not be in the wrong and the kid is just overreacting because of something else
Fuck the law. They act like they want what's best for your children. It's just another way for them crooks to make money cuz they know damn well the parents are going to get into it and be in contempt of court and that's when they start making money. They don't give a s*** about the kids. Brunch of thieves feeding on your misfortunes/broken home!!!. Smh
Here is what the video is saying, in non-lawyer terms: "We know that your child is probably being abused by the other parent, and this would more than explain their refusal to visit. But you can't actually bring that up in court without being labeled an "alienator" and having the kids removed from your custody. Instead, you have to pretend that the other parent is doing nothing wrong and lie to your child, and gaslight them. It's not the responsibility of the parent the child is refusing contact with to make any changes to their parenting approach. No, it's YOU who is responsible for maintaining that relationship, and so any refusal behavior the child exhibits is YOUR fault!"
Remember that divorce is hard on children and not wanting to see the other parent does not mean the child shouldn't or that something is wrong with the other parent. Children struggle to cope with the emotions within themselves and what they see between the two parents. They need the positive encouragement to maintain the relationship. Just because YOU don't make a great couple anymore doesn't mean you can't be great parents. Nor should you be an ostracised parent.
When the other parent has npd and therefore emotionally/mentally abusing a child then the last thing that child needs is to suffer the trauma of gaslighting by the system / Family members etc etc . The World and the system’s operating in it need to catch up with this abuse because it is happening everywhere and victims are blamed shamed and re traumatised over and over again .
So sad children have no voice ! These laws traumatized children !!! If a child doesn’t want to see a parent without a parent interfering is a red flag ! Kids are supposed to feel safe and loved by both parents ..
The problem isn't what the child wants so much as how the other parent is sabatoging a relationship by not encouraging children to go. My sons ex goes out of her way to instill in them that dads a pos, so they dont want to have anything to do with him. Everytime its his week, they fight him when he picks them up. Then 15 minutes down the road they're fine and happy. Kids feed off the adults in thier lives.
My bf ex wife is very unencouraging of the relationship with him and his kids and specifically tells hers kids if they don't want to go with their dad they don't have to and if they don't want to talk with him they don't have to. She hates him with a passion for being back in his kids lives. The judge specifically told her to encourage that relationship and she completely had gone against it. It's a sad situation to see as a mother
He is back in their lives..pfft..so one day he woke up and said okay today I want to be a father to the children I abandoned? From experience, he only went back to his kids lives because he's got you and needs to be looked at as a good father and not the dead beat that he is.
I truly feels like women who are outside the relationship should stay in their place…you don’t know what happened in past situation so if the mother feels that way it’s for a reason. If she doesn’t feel like they will be safe or he isn’t responsible than she needs to make a decision that’s best for her kids not the court…
Why should the custodial parent HAVE to encourage the child to visit with the other parent and to like the other parent, the other parent should've done things right in the beginning to be liked by the child and for the child to want to visit.
Great question. In most states, judges and state law consider a custody factor of fostering and encouraging a meaningful relationship with the other parent. Think of it as a consideration for "anti-alienation."
Damn straight!!! But honey. The courts do thus bs knowing damn well you are gonna fail and they can hold you in contempt and make money off your misfortune and broken home. Blood-sucking vampires what they are. Thay don't give a s*** about our kids!!! Money making business for all of them!!! Judges and lawyers!!!
@@Memphisdivorce Translation: "We know that your child is probably being abused or neglected by the other parent, and this would more than explain their refusal to visit. But you can't actually bring that up in court without being labeled an "alienator" and having the kids removed from your custody. This is because the judges, lawyers and evaluators involved don't understand coercive relationship dynamics, and routinely deny abuse. These same people may also have financial ties to reunification camps which have a vested interest in making sure alienation theory is perpetuated, regardless of contradicting evidence. Instead, you have to pretend that the other parent is doing nothing wrong and you must lie to your child, and gaslight them into believing they aren't in danger or being abused. It's not the responsibility of the parent the child is refusing contact with to make any changes to their parenting approach. No, it's YOU who is responsible for maintaining that relationship and enabling the other parent's shitty behavior. Therefore, any refusal behavior the child exhibits is YOUR fault and could not possibly have come from the child themselves! "
Because it's in the best interest of the child to try as hard as they can to foster a relationship. THE FACT YOU DON'T KNOW THIS IS WHY THIS VIDEO IS POSTED! GROW THE FK UP
This sounds like bullshit. One thing I will not do encourage MY CHILD to go with a parent they don’t want to go with. Especially if my child has stated on multiple occasions of being unhappy. So no I will not encourage it.
So if you don't encourage it how do you keep from getting in trouble with the judge for being in contempt of court?? Cuz I too don't think we should Force the children. Laws need to change!!!
Here is what the video was trying to say: "We know that your child is probably being abused or neglected by the other parent, and this would more than explain their refusal to visit with said parent. But you can't actually bring that up in court without being labeled an "alienator" and having the kids removed from your custody. This is because the judges, lawyers and evaluators involved don't understand coercive relationship dynamics, and routinely deny abuse. These same people may also have financial ties to reunification camps which have a vested interest in making sure alienation theory is perpetuated, regardless of contradicting evidence. Instead, you have to pretend that the other parent is doing nothing wrong and you must lie to your child, and gaslight them into believing they aren't in danger or being abused. It's not the responsibility of the parent the child is refusing contact with to make any changes to their parenting approach. No, it's YOU who is responsible for maintaining that relationship and making sure your child is ok with the other parent's shitty behavior. Therefore, any refusal behavior the child exhibits must be YOUR fault and a result of you coaching the child to feel that way. It could not possibly be the child's own, organic response to their experiences with that parent! Blasphemy, that would mean we would actually have to acknowledge that abuse is happening and that alienation theory is a load of garbage that is forcing kids into the home of their abuser!."
That's what they want. They want us not to comply so they can throw us in jail. Sob's. Judges and attorneys want us to fail. That's how those bastards make their money. Off of our children's feelings. Smh
And if the father was the custodial parent and she didn't want to go with you, would you want him to force her? What if the distance between both parents was many hundreds of miles...?
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So the child’s voice is not heard? What if the father is a big time narcissist? Does the court have any knowledge of psychological and emotional abuse?
Abuse is a different topic. Please see our detailed videos discussing narcissistic parents and parental alienation.
No, they hardly ever listen to the child or consider those things. They have virtually no concept of emotional/psychological abuse, or the concept of coercive control post separation. This is especially true if it's a mother bringing up abuse allegations against a father. Usually, the accusations will not be believed by the judge (even if there is compelling evidence or the child discloses) and then the father can counter-claim that mom is filing false abuse reports and "alienating" the child for no good reason. Then the court will remove the child from the mother's care, even though she was simply trying to protect the child from further harm. In some cases, even if the court believes the father has committed domestic violence in the past, they will view the mother's attempts at protection as a more harmful action to the child than the father's violence. I have seen it first hand, I can promise you I am not making this up. Happens all the time, and that's the dirty secret about family court. Piggy backing off of that point, this is why DV advocates hate "Parental alienation" theory - its way too easy for an actual abuser to hijack the concept, and make their victims looks like the perpetrator of post separation violence.
I don’t know… my kids mom molested my daughter, my daughter who was 4/5 at the time reported the abuse. It went to court. Forensic investigators the works. She ended up telling them way more than she told me… probably because I was freaking out it. Because the lawyer for Dhs didn’t fill out one form and submit it… the case got suppressed… my daughter’s voice was silenced… and later on gave her MORE parenting time and my daughter hates it! They say tell someone and when the kid tells someone and more than one person and silenced because of 1 document???? How does that work?? I’m constantly having to tell my daughter to be brave and we have to follow the court order…. Makes me sick that I can’t protect her… and the state knowing this… allows it! Wow
They never listen to the children's needs. My children's mom have been abusive to my children even though the court ruled in my favor. They still go with the mom for 2 overnights, I have videos, and even during phone calls, she has beat them up, but by court order they have to go.
Right, I thought the same thing
Are serious? “The law is more important than your child’s wants or needs.” That is bs. The SAFETY of the child is more important than a law that will make them unsafe. This video acts like the parent a child that they don’t want to see must not be in the wrong and the kid is just overreacting because of something else
Ya 5 year Olds never over reacts.
And mothers never brain wash there kids to hate the other parent
Fuck the law. They act like they want what's best for your children. It's just another way for them crooks to make money cuz they know damn well the parents are going to get into it and be in contempt of court and that's when they start making money. They don't give a s*** about the kids. Brunch of thieves feeding on your misfortunes/broken home!!!. Smh
Here is what the video is saying, in non-lawyer terms: "We know that your child is probably being abused by the other parent, and this would more than explain their refusal to visit. But you can't actually bring that up in court without being labeled an "alienator" and having the kids removed from your custody. Instead, you have to pretend that the other parent is doing nothing wrong and lie to your child, and gaslight them. It's not the responsibility of the parent the child is refusing contact with to make any changes to their parenting approach. No, it's YOU who is responsible for maintaining that relationship, and so any refusal behavior the child exhibits is YOUR fault!"
😂 so when the same CHILD refuses to go to school you get into your feelings too???
@@luckyfisher7240I’m 16. And my dad never cared about how I felt and he threatens me u think I wanna be there
Remember that divorce is hard on children and not wanting to see the other parent does not mean the child shouldn't or that something is wrong with the other parent. Children struggle to cope with the emotions within themselves and what they see between the two parents. They need the positive encouragement to maintain the relationship. Just because YOU don't make a great couple anymore doesn't mean you can't be great parents. Nor should you be an ostracised parent.
When the other parent has npd and therefore emotionally/mentally abusing a child then the last thing that child needs is to suffer the trauma of gaslighting by the system / Family members etc etc . The World and the system’s operating in it need to catch up with this abuse because it is happening everywhere and victims are blamed shamed and re traumatised over and over again .
This comment here is 💯
So sad children have no voice ! These laws traumatized children !!!
If a child doesn’t want to see a parent without a parent interfering is a red flag ! Kids are supposed to feel safe and loved by both parents ..
They don’t want to go to school either, so you just let them decide and stay home or go to the mall, play video games all day
The problem isn't what the child wants so much as how the other parent is sabatoging a relationship by not encouraging children to go. My sons ex goes out of her way to instill in them that dads a pos, so they dont want to have anything to do with him. Everytime its his week, they fight him when he picks them up. Then 15 minutes down the road they're fine and happy. Kids feed off the adults in thier lives.
Then u have a great talk with them and see the good bad and concerns of co parenting Deanna souders
My bf ex wife is very unencouraging of the relationship with him and his kids and specifically tells hers kids if they don't want to go with their dad they don't have to and if they don't want to talk with him they don't have to. She hates him with a passion for being back in his kids lives. The judge specifically told her to encourage that relationship and she completely had gone against it. It's a sad situation to see as a mother
He is back in their lives..pfft..so one day he woke up and said okay today I want to be a father to the children I abandoned? From experience, he only went back to his kids lives because he's got you and needs to be looked at as a good father and not the dead beat that he is.
I truly feels like women who are outside the relationship should stay in their place…you don’t know what happened in past situation so if the mother feels that way it’s for a reason. If she doesn’t feel like they will be safe or he isn’t responsible than she needs to make a decision that’s best for her kids not the court…
Why should the custodial parent HAVE to encourage the child to visit with the other parent and to like the other parent, the other parent should've done things right in the beginning to be liked by the child and for the child to want to visit.
Great question. In most states, judges and state law consider a custody factor of fostering and encouraging a meaningful relationship with the other parent. Think of it as a consideration for "anti-alienation."
Damn straight!!! But honey. The courts do thus bs knowing damn well you are gonna fail and they can hold you in contempt and make money off your misfortune and broken home. Blood-sucking vampires what they are. Thay don't give a s*** about our kids!!! Money making business for all of them!!! Judges and lawyers!!!
@@Memphisdivorce Translation: "We know that your child is probably being abused or neglected by the other parent, and this would more than explain their refusal to visit. But you can't actually bring that up in court without being labeled an "alienator" and having the kids removed from your custody. This is because the judges, lawyers and evaluators involved don't understand coercive relationship dynamics, and routinely deny abuse. These same people may also have financial ties to reunification camps which have a vested interest in making sure alienation theory is perpetuated, regardless of contradicting evidence. Instead, you have to pretend that the other parent is doing nothing wrong and you must lie to your child, and gaslight them into believing they aren't in danger or being abused. It's not the responsibility of the parent the child is refusing contact with to make any changes to their parenting approach. No, it's YOU who is responsible for maintaining that relationship and enabling the other parent's shitty behavior. Therefore, any refusal behavior the child exhibits is YOUR fault and could not possibly have come from the child themselves! "
Because it's in the best interest of the child to try as hard as they can to foster a relationship. THE FACT YOU DON'T KNOW THIS IS WHY THIS VIDEO IS POSTED!
GROW THE FK UP
This sounds like bullshit. One thing I will not do encourage MY CHILD to go with a parent they don’t want to go with. Especially if my child has stated on multiple occasions of being unhappy. So no I will not encourage it.
So if you don't encourage it how do you keep from getting in trouble with the judge for being in contempt of court?? Cuz I too don't think we should Force the children. Laws need to change!!!
Here is what the video was trying to say: "We know that your child is probably being abused or neglected by the other parent, and this would more than explain their refusal to visit with said parent. But you can't actually bring that up in court without being labeled an "alienator" and having the kids removed from your custody. This is because the judges, lawyers and evaluators involved don't understand coercive relationship dynamics, and routinely deny abuse. These same people may also have financial ties to reunification camps which have a vested interest in making sure alienation theory is perpetuated, regardless of contradicting evidence. Instead, you have to pretend that the other parent is doing nothing wrong and you must lie to your child, and gaslight them into believing they aren't in danger or being abused. It's not the responsibility of the parent the child is refusing contact with to make any changes to their parenting approach. No, it's YOU who is responsible for maintaining that relationship and making sure your child is ok with the other parent's shitty behavior. Therefore, any refusal behavior the child exhibits must be YOUR fault and a result of you coaching the child to feel that way. It could not possibly be the child's own, organic response to their experiences with that parent! Blasphemy, that would mean we would actually have to acknowledge that abuse is happening and that alienation theory is a load of garbage that is forcing kids into the home of their abuser!."
I would NEVER FORCE my child to see her father!!!!!!!!! She goes if she wants to.
That's what they want. They want us not to comply so they can throw us in jail. Sob's. Judges and attorneys want us to fail. That's how those bastards make their money. Off of our children's feelings. Smh
And if the father was the custodial parent and she didn't want to go with you, would you want him to force her? What if the distance between both parents was many hundreds of miles...?