My 5 Year Old Self 🍓 Meet Berry | Dissociative Identity Disorder
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
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“if a duck quacks, it’s baby time” is honestly a slogan i want to see on a t-shirt
It’s funny that you mentioned feeling like her mom/big sister because as I was watching, I felt like you were speaking about her in exactly that way. Like you’re completely delighted by your daughter/little sister/niece/etc. This is adorable and honestly a really good example of how even singular people can think of and treat their inner child to heal their traumas!
I'm barely halfway through the video and you made an amazing decision of not making a video of just her fronting. The internet is so dangerous towards ppl with DID, **ESPECIALLY** littles. Thank you for protecting her
Aw thank you 🥰💕🌈
I'm so glad you brought up the CPTSD age regression, as that is so hard to explain to people! I still don't know how to explain my age regression moments to people well and you do a great job! I feel very seen, thank you!!
@@georgiesmith89 How do you know how old you go to? I know sometimes I feel like a little kid who just needs to cry and be held and comforted, but I don't know specifically how old I feel, just young and helpless.
@@conlon4332 for me, it comes to my mind when i remember the question "how old are you?" and i authomactily think the number, if i cant say but can barely talk, im under 5, if im very aware that im regressed more than 8
Sorry for whatever you went through and sorry I'm asking this, but I also have CPTSD ( it can have age regression ? . I never knew that ) that may explaine why I'm kinda like a big 5 year old .. for me, it's not a separate personality, though at times I can be a lil more like a big kid, but mostly i still want stuffed animals, toys, saturday morning cartoons and everything.
Something about Berry writing "Cool moon" under "Favorites" REALLY tickled me. I also love cool moon.
*drops everything to watch pixielocks*
fr tho
Literally me ♥️
School included
Samee here
just like me fr
I’m sorry the professional photo shoot of y’all as a baby with the strawberry shortcake music box is so silly and relatable, my autistic child self ABSOLUTELY posed with my toys the same way
I LAUGHED AT IT SO BAD there were several shots from this shoot lol 😭😭😭 Our mama is a photographer and had a home studio so there are many random professional shoots of me doing random things from over the years lol 🥰🌈
I'm glad it's not dangerous for you to share and be open, it sounds like you put a lot of care and thought into what to share on the internet. Stay safe y'all.
Whenever I see littles online I get a little worried just because people on the internet are so freakin mean or weird about it. It makes perfect sense that this isn't just Berry answering these quesions.
Lol it's like a parent teacher conference or field trip
Pixie is like I shall also chaparone for safety.
Which very fair because I too worry but they seem to have it under control and what not
The lucky charms earrings brought us so much joy!!! Your videos are always such a boost of serotonin 💚- Sal
as an autistic person with ptsd that do age regress negativly this is really interesting, like that Berry is just this really happy little girl is very sweet //< )
thank you for letting us get to know a bit about berry! ik how people can get but regardless i hope she and everyone else in the system can be the happiest they can :)
My inner child always feels safe on pixielocks videos 💛
im autistic, avpd and suffer from cptsd so i age regress a lot. even though i don't have DID i see myself in a lot of these things you are mentioning. thank you for letting us into ur life just a little. and take care
I'd love to see a lookbook from you with outfits inspired by different strawberry shortcake characters! Would be perfect inspo for summer style, i'd love to see what you do with it!
@@mikelong372 clearly they mean anyone who wants to do it lol! Prob a mix of Berry, Jill, & maybe Flora idk
Pixie I love you, I have been watching your channel for 6 years now and I can easily say I feel like I have grown up with you. I started watch you when I was 14 and now I am going into my 3rd year of college.
I find so much comfort in your videos and always have, your confidence and love to express yourself helped me get to that point, and I want to say thank you for always being a safe space for me.
With that said though I am really missing your content focused around fashion, anime, and makeup tutorials. As someone diagnosed with OSDD I can relate to a LOT of your much recent content, but it can also be hard to watch sometimes. I love you and will always support you, idek why I'm typing all this out, just to put out there that this is a big reason why I started watching as much and have to skip these type of videos which makes me SO SAD because I miss "hanging out" with you.
I hear you and I appreciate you taking the time to comment 💗 I do actively try to put out a nice mix of both mental health and fashion and lifestyle content, but while I am uploading every week to two weeksish I understand it can be frustrating waiting a month or more for a fashion or non-DID video!! I constantly strive to be uploading more frequently, and I will always try to keep an even mix of content 💗 Sorry you have been unable to enjoy it lately, the McLean thing really rocked us 😭
I don't age regress but I am an autistic person with very "childish" interests and stan another bluey fan!
crazy how a 5yr old has such great writing skills
It looks exactly like how our real physical 6 year old self wrote lol
Also reminder that alter stand for "altered state of mind" and that sometimes alters dont present "rationally", its possible for a 6 yo alter to have the same writting as every other alter because the body is not 6 and writring skills are generally a muscle memory thing and such memories are rarelly dissociated from alters to alters, even tho it can happen, its not usual.
@@laurentcathery273 In the video, Jill asserts that Berry lacks the knowledge and skills of an adult Jill. She has repeatedly made reference to other alters' lack of sewing and crocheting abilities. Most children learn to write at the age of 6-7 years old.
I work in an elementary school and I have seen 5/6 year olds who can barely write and I have seen kids the same age who have beautiful cursive writing (seriously! One girl from India wrote nicer than I can)
@@Sofi_za-cg4mc 1. I wasnt talking about jill here but rather did/osdd as a whole and simlly giving a reminder that its possible for alters to have the same writting even if "they logically shouldnt" because alters are not different people but altered state of minds. For some the alteration is drastic, for others not. 2. Sewing skills are not muscle memory, knowledge isnt either. Writting, biking, dancing...etc are. So the comparison does not stand. 3. Ive seen jill already respond and clarify so i dont need to talk about her experience, i was just giving out infos about did as a whole cause there are a lot of missconceptions and you seemed to make a statement based on a missconception.
The way you talk about regression is so relatable...i have no formal diagnosis but when triggered by certain things i feel that same sensation...our brains are so magical
omg, I was diagnosed as bipolar 2 a few months ago but scored 9/9 for bpd and i participated in age regression (non kink) w my high school boyfriend. i always just thought it was a really weird thing i enjoyed. makes total f-ing sense now. thank you for sharing, you and your system are very sweet and admirable.❤️
@@mikelong372 omgggg I don’t thinkkkk sooooo
“ *deep voice* hello..😳 who’s that” made me lol
this is such an interesting watch for me as someone with BPD who age regresses so hard and so often. i love this so much. this video made me super happy.
also DUDE the duck part is so funny bc i’m the exact same way??? “when there’s a duck it’s baby time” LITERALLYYYY!!
The number of people I know now who have BPD and are OBSESSED with ducks is so high and I love it for ALL of you ❤
Could you make a video talking about what therapy for DID was like? I'm struggling to understand how switches go from involuntary to controlled without I guess those alters disappearing. Same with the amnesia; if you're able to talk together, be co-con, share memories etc. then isn't that fusing?
Yes I’d love to see that I’ve been so curious about dnd since I learned it was a thing actually on RUclips in middle school or high school would love to know how the actual therapy works to I guess find and communicate with the other parts it’s very interesting
Yes! We do too...I say "we"...but usually wouldn't be bothered with the whole "we" thing...but obviously..I want to hint upon my fully diagnosed DID self....& The yeeeears of weekly therapy it's taken to simply stabilise & gain a sense of peacefulness...I'm 47 & been this way a very long time....all my life.. & still do not understand myselves ...🤷
Also...self care isn't easy still...my appearance is generally unkempt ...or slightly put together...at best
I'm working on it ...
So fusion is "two people are now one person" (up to "all the people are now one person", but not necessarily!). It's not something that happens automatically when you start talking to each other. Getting to know each other is a process; it might start with a faint inkling that someone else is watching, you might do an activity and see if you get positive emotional feedback, you might speak and see if you get anything back... it's slow going, is my point.
Therapy can help because if you're fully amnestic, a therapist can act as a bridge. Person A and B both talk to the therapist and the therapist passes on messages (with consent, and carefully to not overwhelm the other person). They're also there to stabilize in case contact does overwhelm someone, because that's a thing: it's hard to perceive something that's usually hidden from you by dissociative barriers! It can bring up very strong feelings.
Sometimes you do build contact with someone and immediately notice that fusion could happen here. But for us - 90% of the time that's not the case. The dissociative barriers are still there and we can use them to our advantage. (E.g. having someone like Berry who's trauma free is a good thing for the system!)
When the walls are still up, all headmates involved can process things little by little. And maybe when everyone has had lots of thoughts and feelings about it, some people may choose to fuse. It might feel right. But nobody has to fuse. We can still become a team and heal while staying separate. (Check out healthy multiplicity dot com)
(If that feels wrong to you: maybe fusion will be right for you! It's a personal decision based on what feels best, is all I'm saying.)
If you ever would, it would be fun if you recreated the green strawberry dress with what you know now about fashion and sewing.
Okay I’m so excited about this!! What a treat thank you for the video guys
Wait this is so cute 🥹❤ Berry sounds just like me when I was younger. My favorite obsessions were My Little Pony and Pokémon, and it makes me so nostalgic just thinking about it! Also, I just noticed that 3 of your alters (Flora, Sunny, and Berry) all share names with cures! The best taste in names for sure 😌✨ Love you guys, hope the everyone is doing ok 😄🌈💕
I also noticed the Sunny Berry Flora thing recently!!! 😭💕 It’s funny because Sunny is nothing like Cure Sunny but is more like Yum Yum 👉🏻👈🏻
@@Pixielocks I can definitely tell by the TikToks! Sunny reminded me more of summer and yum yum with just that pure happiness and energetic personally ✨😄
Jillian, I am so grateful to hear about Berry and I am happy you open up about your mental health and breaking the stigmas is so important since a lot of things don't get talked about enough when it comes to mental health. I feel less alone with all of my mental health issues I deal with daily and you encourage me to never give up.
hi i LOVE “we have different pockets on different sides of the pants” it gives nearly identical energy to “we’re all made of milk but we’re living in separate glasses” which is a standup bit that made me CACKLE
Loved getting to know Berry and so happy you guys found a way to introduce her that is within your comfort! Also everytime you all talk about steam powered giraffe my little heart explodes, theyre my favorite band!!!
Berry sounds like such a sweetheart!! Thank you for sharing 🩵🥹
Lovely to get to know Berry!! She seems like an absolute sweetheart🍓🦆
im suddenly remembering that one bathroom vlog where you showed us a giant mama duck with a bunch of baby ducks on her back 😂💖
Im obsessed with strawberrys atm!!! Berry has very good taste!!!
this was so great to watch! ive been following u for so long before diagnosis and it makes me so happy to see how far you've come, how you've been healing and your love and positivy toward your system
i am 58 seconds in but i gotta stop by to say how cute your hairstyle is!!! makes me wanna chop my hair to my shoulders it is adorbs
Awe thank u!!! 🥰🌈💕
literally RAN to the break room at work to watch this because i relate to berry so much :) im not a system but i love strawberry shortcake and bears and little kid stuff and i was so excited to hear about berry!
Ok kind of unrelated, but I’d love to see you recreate that first green dress you made! Could be cool to show how far you’ve come in terms of sewing skills
i literally hit like on the community post about this and then got the notification this was posted maybe 2 mins later OMG i manifested an upload :3
we also have a 5-year old in system. and she still have the speech-impediment we had as a child... I (the host of system) split from her when body was 5, and system think that it's the earliest split we had, so we often think of her as being the "original" personality, that just got stuck there. Since she has memories from before body was 5, but none of the rest of system have anything from before that.
Hearing you talk about Berry made me feel really happy, because it reminds me of our small part too. Even though they are quite different from each other.
This hair style is SO CUTE 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
jillian energy it's just everything to us, it makes us so happyyy to hear her
There is some kind of universal force that makes me have a really bad day the same day they upload a video and it confuses me but makes me appreciate having them as my favorite RUclipsr
AHH HI BERRY!! 🍓🍓
Just heard about kou footwear: fruit trainers They're strawberry shortcake themed sneakers. Heard about them and thought of you and your authentic immediately!
HELLOOO BERRY!! 🍓 ive been following you guys for ages now and its so lovely to get to know you guys a bit and see you all introducing yourselves!!
Oooohhhh Jillian your earrings and necklaces are so cute! 💖🌞
I think I remember seeing that the Strawberry Shortcake creator sells art prints! They're so so precious
I sometimes go watch old cartoons and movies that I liked as a child when I'm feeling really sad or stressed as I find it comforting. It's the same with music and it nearly always puts me into a better mood. I think it's a way of reminding me of a time when it was better, before I had to deal with the loss of family members like my mum and my great aunt and uncle who I was close to. I can easily understand why people with disassociate disorders have a happy child part. Speaking from a neurotypical person's perspective, there are times when I want to go back to a time when everything was right with the world, when you didn't have as many worries or emotional pain to deal with.
i just gotta say little pixie is so cute omg and the glasses? slay. i had no idea berry came from strawberry shortcake that’s so🥺🥺 i also very much loved miss strawberry and her friends as a kid (and now too, rediscovering) :’)
seeing berry's handwriting and drawings made our little feel so much better about hers!! Maisy is 6 too and sometimes its hard to be in a grown up body that doesnt always work the way she expects it to
20:26 me when im on weed
Sounds like R2D2 screaming
@@m3lr726 LMAO IT DOES
as someone that dealt with a lot of trauma and had to grow up so fast, too soon and age regresses due to it, thank you for explaining this. it's so common for it to happen, but there is such a bad stigma around it. 😔 thank you so so so much for showing this side and talking about it 💙💜💙💜
Berry introducing herself is so brave and sweet of her to do for the channel! You must have an incredibly supportive system for her/y’all to feel comfortable with it ❤
It's so wholesome and makes me so happy to hear how you peeps look out for Berry and how she brings you happiness. It sounds like the whole "it takes a village to take care of a kid" thing but the village is your system and your loved ones and it seems you're doing pretty well balancing letting her enjoy things while also keeping her safe.
Does Berry know about the Bluey Pillow Pet? 🩵
Omg NO neither did I!!!! 🥺💕🌈
It is nice to know that you can still have an inner child and not have DID. I have BPD, Clinical Depression, and Manic Depressive. Part of me still likes “littles” things despite not having DID (so far, I am still stuck on my mental health journey). Also, I have an art piece I need to finish for you. I am just bad at finishing things. Especially since I go through states I can’t draw or my style changes.
thanks for feeling safe enough to talk about Berry!
we have some child alters but some of us adult alters also age regress (myself included). this makes me feel so much less weird or “wrong” for existing 💖 -silver
I literally now only wanna call my ptsd "pp disorder"
I also love ducks and strawberries and Bluey! Berry does indeed have good taste haha
Knowing you’re doing what you can to protect Berry and everyone in the system, while also wanting to share your guys’ life with us, is comforting in a way ❤ Thank you for the awesome video
oh my gosh my first sewing project was maybe 11 was a wolf costume… white fur fabric I sewed into a tube and attached ribbons for straps… spray painted the back to make it darker… sewed a tail shaped like a string bean… cut out fur triangle ears that I glued onto a headband
I've been watching you for years. Your videos make my life feel healthy, when I'm feeling manic.
Sending love from Texas 🎉
I regress as someone who is autistic with a lot of trauma. It took me awhile to accept and just realize my trauma. Additionally, as someone who got diagnosed late at 21 with ASD, I was very unaware of my specific autistic trauma - how much I masked, how I practically survived through an upbringing of ABA.
Though not DID, I find my one of my little selves who is similar to Berry, to be almost a complete different bubbly world of happiness and love that has really just helped me heal from trauma even before I was really accepting and aware of my traumas.
She mostly keeps to herself and my partner, but I find she just slips out sometimes either from being excited or when I need a break as an adult. We are also a huge fan of fuzzy bears with round ears 🐻, pink, blue skies, rainbows and legos! She gets really excited when we go to the store with our friend to buy more lego sets and if I like it or not that little voice always comes out. She is just the young me who can be free of all the sadness and trauma we had when we were actually growing up and even the stresses of the life I have now. She still has her vulnerabilities but she comes out when she knows she is safe and with people who will really look after her. Though I can’t be her all the time, that little space, even when its just in my mind is very freeing.
I can’t express how important it is to start talking about and normalizing littles, specifically in the DID and trauma healing world. I love this video so so so much! Sending my love to you, Berry 🍓& system 💖
Also maybe a video idea ? - build a lego set with me (time-lapsed or with commentary) the botanical sets are sooooooo cute
MY OC’S NAME IS BERRY! YAY! Another Berry Friendy!
Hi!! This question is just out of curiosity and asking Jill and Co their thoughts on this. Totally fine if you don't want to answer!!
When you mentioned Berry's influence with your personal style plus her adorable love for holidays- do you think she may have influenced your birthday party aesthetic from awhile back?
Hope everyone has a wonderful day and make sure to take care of yourselves :]!!
She definitly has good taste. Strawberry Shortcake is my Queen. I have an old vintage stuffed soft doll of her. She has the prettiest red yarn for hair, it's the best. I also used to collect the stick set from gotcha sticker machines at my local grocery store. You're never too old for Strawberry Shortcake.
pls link the music playlist (if you're comfy with it ofc) bc me and our little would love to listen!! I really need to find more music our little likes bc I want them to be happy and experience childlike joy and not be stressed over silly things they should not care about (which has unfortunately been happening lately aaaa)
hi! to us it seem that berry is a caretaker. we have a little that exists to have fun too, and by the way, she loved berry, and she's a caretaker. she makes sure that we're having fun!
Shocked to find out that the body isn’t a natural blonde
she sounds so sweet!! thank you for being comfortable enough to share her with us and i cant wait to meet more of the pixie system if theyre ready to share!! ❤️🖤❤️🖤✨🍓 love u jill, berry, and the whole pixie system!!! 🍓✨🖤❤️🌈
Thank you for posting this video. Our littles have actually asked about some DID youtubers littles and they completely understand privacy because we're similar ourselves. But it really can help for them to hear about how other littles live. Helps normalize their reality. So thanks for sharing.
Berry reminds me very much of my partners child alter, I consider her my own daughter
Age regression really sounds hell. Im kinda lucky to have seemingly ended up with no littles ...
I am about to cry in a happy way 🥺💖 we know of two child parts in our system and they are both emotional parts, we think. So knowing that child parts can be happy and carefree makes *me* so happy! I hope my kid parts can heal more to get less scared of the world and more excited about life. I think it might be happening slowly already, but it is hard. Even if they will still hold trauma, I hope integration will make them able to also be comfortable and happy 💖
Sorry if it doesn't make sense aaaa we are very sleepy rn
You should do the You tube memberships its like 1.99 a mo I think and members get fun badges by there names when they post a comment or questions etc. The Confetti Club!!❤❤❤ 🎉🎉🎉
notif gang !
Gang gang! I feel like my notifs are always late though lol 😅
I’m so glad that you mentioned that age regression/childlike coping strategies is not a fetish thing!!!! I have a trauma disorder and I don’t fully agree regress but a lot of my coping strategies are based around childhood comforts and I tend to be more empty minded while in these phases. it is just really important to me that people who experience these things can safely and comfortably perform the actions that help process or recover from trauma 💕
Thank you for sharing ❤ so happy for you
I have autisim. I have adult brain but Im pretty sure I have age regression big time. like when it happens and it happens at random I cant control it I turn into like a kid.
💗 I get you :) I know lots of people that regress as well due to BPD or autism or PTSD! It’s a perfectly valid way to cope 🌷🌈
@@Pixielocks mine is more due to autism and some ptsd
@@May_27 Hi! I'm autistic too so I'm a little curious about the link between autism and age regression. If you don't mind, can you explain how it manifest ?
@@marrykozakura9352 in all fairness its different for everyone. i maybe an adult but im very childlike and always have been. and ive been through so much different trauma that I ended up age regressing as a coping thing.
@@marrykozakura9352 its the only way I could explain it
When I was younger I'd have my hands near my mouth because I didn't want anyone to notice I didn't quite know how to say certain words right when speaking or reading out loud. So I could just be her shying away from being heard.
YAYY BERRY these are for her: 💖 🦆🍓🧃🖍️🧸
Thank you for being willing to introduce yourself Berry! Your cat art is amazing. :)
i just want to say that there is a stark difference between age regressing (sfw and as a form of therapy) and ageplay (nsfw/kink). a lot of people put both in the same bag... 😅
Thank you for sharing this. I have times where I dissociate but haven't quite figured it out yet, and that part about age sliding being different from an alter made so much sense! For as far as I can remember, I never wanted to grow up, and could sort of switch between getting along better with those much older, vs much younger than myself. Also forgetting my age. One time I was at Animaritime and wanted the 18+ access, but forgot my age so I said 19 when I was really 21. I'm still trying to figure it out, especially with the dynamics with my partner and when in cosplay, as I can seem very different depending on the situation. But how much is masking my ADHD (and others) and how much is dissociating when I get overwhelmed, I don't know. It's almost like I switch between a high school me, and then my real age, but I think it's more trying to make up for the childhood I missed due to stress, and other factors.
Me I am here to heal the adult ones !!! Loved this video, triggered me ! Love colors and you nice !!!!!
tell berry we all say hi!!!
Omfg does anyone have a link to the playlist I couldn’t find it
Love this thanks berry
I can’t find the playlist on Spotify.
The fit is so cute!! It's nice to meet you, Berry 🩷
I love getting to see a Pixielocks video/update
I audibly laughed at the “THIS IS HOW I TALK RIGHT” part 😭
crocheting while watching this video, hope y’all are doing well!!
our little gal also loves bluey, it’s so sweet and healing ☺️
22:51 BRO, I actually loved this. It sounds just the slightest bit like Elmo, and as much as it may not sound like Berry, with her love of Muppets, I'm sure she could appreciate this. ❤
Typing this before the video gets going, not saying this as a request just stating it. The thing I find the most facinating with DID is how your voice will sound so different from one to another, and I understand why Berry won't be fronting but I am so curious as to how she sounds. I bet she sounds so sweet and cute. I'm imagining it sounding like Jill and Flora smooshed together haha
Okay, now to watch the whole thing!
There’s a small clip of her laugh from a time we were co-fronting nearish the end 🥰💕
@@Pixielocks oh yay! I'm so excited to see that! 🥰 I bet it's so sweet and cute ❤️
very important question since berry loves muppets which one is her favorite muppet character. signed: local muppets fan
POV: Someone cosplays Duckie MoMo from Phineas and Ferb at the next con you go to
Berry: “Duckie go quack quack, can I give you a hug?”
It would be so cute if you could re-make that first dress with your adult sewing skills!
berry is so cute!! thanks for telling us a bit more about her :33
This is INSANE cringe. I used to watch you when I was a senior in high school in 2019 when I was severely depressed and you made me happy. It’s insane coming back to your channel to see what you became. Sad
What’s bad about DID it’s a serious condition?
@@katenicole4092bruh
Yeah its so cringe that she exists as herself and talks about her problems in her style ..
One of our littles, Alice, was co con this whole video because she loves to see other littles on this platform lol TwT
this warmed my heart, shoutout to alice fr
I love strawberry shortcake too!!!