4 Movie Curses With Unexpected Upsides - After Hours

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
  • SUBSCRIBE HERE: goo.gl/ITTCPW
    When we can't even play video games to escape doing work, life is truly depressing.
    Click here for the FIRST After Hours: • Why 'Back to the Futur...
    CLICK HERE for our NEW SERIES: AFTER THE TRUMP - goo.gl/XLYeKT
    CLICK HERE for GALACTIC WAR ROOM - goo.gl/kStvEN
    CLICK HERE for TALES TO GET SCARED TO - goo.gl/MDlNKK
    CLICK HERE for WE'RE NOT ALONE - goo.gl/cC9L5o
    CLICK HERE for ROM.COM: The Series - goo.gl/5mabAx
    CLICK HERE For AFTER HOURS: goo.gl/Nrg6Jh
    WATCH every episode of STARSHIP ICARUS here - goo.gl/21RejZ
    See more www.cracked.com
    LIKE us on: / cracked
    FOLLOW us on: / cracked
    FOLLOW us on: / cracked

Комментарии • 2,3 тыс.

  • @izzy1221
    @izzy1221 7 лет назад +599

    This episode is fucking meta and I love it. Just like I love Katie's hair. And raisins. YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THE RAISINS. THEY ARE DELICIOUS.

    • @LunarEdge7
      @LunarEdge7 7 лет назад +3

      Isagail Carshuen You can have all the raisins I found in my cookies. Why fight when we can compensate? *Hurls a bucket of 'em at ya'*

    • @timjackson418
      @timjackson418 7 лет назад

      LunarSkyWolf7 *throws a truck load of raisin*

    • @Rose_Terra
      @Rose_Terra 7 лет назад

      Isagail Carshuen I hate the newer ones where they self aware. but good video

    • @viljamtheninja
      @viljamtheninja 7 лет назад +1

      I think raisins are okay.

    • @shiraduke812
      @shiraduke812 7 лет назад +9

      I knew it sounded familiar! I paused it 5 seconds in, confused. Good to know I'm not crazy

  • @FlyingWolfWings
    @FlyingWolfWings 7 лет назад +839

    has anyone else watched so much After Hours that they instantly knew where this episode was going from the intro?

    • @nikoincroatia
      @nikoincroatia 7 лет назад +45

      I was like "Haven't I seen this one?" but then double checked the date and figured it would go somewhere like this

    • @derinedala5032
      @derinedala5032 7 лет назад +21

      Yeah the start of the script with the raisins confused me in the same way

    • @FeeOJLee
      @FeeOJLee 7 лет назад +4

      Sammmmeee. I literally paused and checked if I was on a wrong video lo

    • @christosioannou9628
      @christosioannou9628 7 лет назад +13

      FlannelLemon I've been rewatching old ones, and as soon as I saw the episode from seven years ago about back to the future I instantly recognized it. So yes I did know where it was going, but backwards.

    • @HelloItsMikkan
      @HelloItsMikkan 7 лет назад +2

      FlannelLemon yes...

  • @CoronaMage
    @CoronaMage 4 года назад +119

    It's 2024 and I still miss After Hours

    • @Drowninginantimatter
      @Drowninginantimatter 9 месяцев назад +11

      It's 2024 and I still miss After Hours

    • @nickfazekas7862
      @nickfazekas7862 8 месяцев назад +8

      its less than a week later and I still miss after hours@@Drowninginantimatter

    • @timbuktu8069
      @timbuktu8069 5 месяцев назад +1

      I want to see the four of them as old people sitting around a park bench.

  • @mymorningismidnight4840
    @mymorningismidnight4840 7 лет назад +1334

    Okay, did anyone else get severely creeped out when they noticed everyone else inside and outside the diner were just standing there staring at the group at the end. C'mon guys, I came here for the comedic conversation, not a brush with a freaking horror movie.

    • @soxxy22
      @soxxy22 7 лет назад +28

      I didnt noticed it at 8:11 the people staring in

    • @orkunakman7030
      @orkunakman7030 7 лет назад +64

      Right? I was seriously creeped out when I saw it and instantly came to the comment section.

    • @Azby64
      @Azby64 7 лет назад +30

      HOLY FUCK.

    • @DnalorNibul
      @DnalorNibul 7 лет назад +17

      Exactly, I was looking for you guys😅😅😅

    • @angryreader8857
      @angryreader8857 7 лет назад +42

      THE DIALOGUE AT THE START IS AN EXACT REPEAT OF THE VERY FIRST EPISODE

  • @ethanbratko2720
    @ethanbratko2720 7 лет назад +109

    I think I'm watching this too late at night, but those people staring into the diner creeped me the fuck out

    • @lukeguevara8489
      @lukeguevara8489 7 лет назад +2

      Ethan Bratko Same bro

    • @LadysavagexXxX
      @LadysavagexXxX 6 лет назад +2

      Ethan Bratko lmao me too!😂🤣

    • @steaiii
      @steaiii 6 лет назад +3

      ... it's late at night right now... the people working in the dark resturaunt are scaring me...

  • @aboutashow
    @aboutashow 7 лет назад +1378

    They talked pop culture in the desert once...

    • @abookishhuman5925
      @abookishhuman5925 7 лет назад +110

      aboutashow Or what they thought was a desert, little did they know that it was just the diner covered in sand and dust so it would look like a desert.

    • @manospondylus
      @manospondylus 7 лет назад +77

      aboutashow and in the woods

    • @cuptaincapcake4546
      @cuptaincapcake4546 7 лет назад +46

      There's one episode where Michael goes to his apartment and watches sex and the city

    • @doctordoom85
      @doctordoom85 7 лет назад +48

      That was only the aliens making them think they were in the woods! Michael was right all along!

    • @sparksoffyou
      @sparksoffyou 7 лет назад +19

      aboutashow and in the woods! One when daniel's car broke down and another around a camp fire.

  • @oddis-he4853
    @oddis-he4853 7 лет назад +521

    I wish they would make After Hours, and OCPD more often. I wait patiently for these.

    • @Izzy1782
      @Izzy1782 7 лет назад +7

      ODD IS-HE
      100% agree

    • @RastaTailSpike
      @RastaTailSpike 7 лет назад +6

      And Escort Mission

    • @Gianpaulo0
      @Gianpaulo0 7 лет назад +8

      I hope they dont, i feel like when youtube channels start to upload videos faster, the quality of the videos goes down, I am ok with waiting if the video is going to be amazing.

    • @amishgadigiyt
      @amishgadigiyt 7 лет назад +5

      ODD IS-HE You go ahead and wait patiently. I will wait impatiently.

    • @shay2218
      @shay2218 7 лет назад +1

      ODD IS-HE same

  • @wawaredfrog
    @wawaredfrog 7 лет назад +1586

    I love after hours.... hope it never ends!!

    • @JustSoji
      @JustSoji 7 лет назад +80

      Based on that end, it never will

    • @Merilirem
      @Merilirem 7 лет назад +62

      Don't worry WE cursed them after all.

    • @MoXy33
      @MoXy33 7 лет назад

      its the same topic every time. Cracked has a good video once in a blue moon.

    • @MrChupacabra555
      @MrChupacabra555 7 лет назад +1

      .... and then they look like corpses under the light of that Blue Moon? Huh?...Huh???? ^_^

    • @Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1024
      @Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1024 7 лет назад

      P0pBu88le5 it will when those people die but you might die before them

  • @rusticgiraffe4262
    @rusticgiraffe4262 4 года назад +103

    You know what? I absolutely would watch a sitcom about these four.

    • @imgrindin
      @imgrindin 4 года назад +10

      I mean, technically we are already. I wish they'd make more.

    • @rusticgiraffe4262
      @rusticgiraffe4262 4 года назад +1

      James Hamilton ...you’re not wrong.

  • @StefanTheCannon
    @StefanTheCannon 5 лет назад +323

    I am still watching in 2019, I miss Daniel O’Brien and the gang this man was hilarious to me

    • @queuetwo
      @queuetwo 3 года назад +2

      @@ThatGuyInTheDesert yurrr

    • @connorsmith7940
      @connorsmith7940 3 года назад +16

      @@ThatGuyInTheDesert 2021, bring it

    • @CourtneyKarl
      @CourtneyKarl 3 года назад +15

      2021 missing the After Hours crew

    • @queuetwo
      @queuetwo 3 года назад +2

      @@CourtneyKarl 😩

    • @WritingSecrets
      @WritingSecrets 3 года назад +8

      2021 here. Miss these convos so much.

  • @MusicFillsTheQuiet
    @MusicFillsTheQuiet 7 лет назад +164

    On Søren's burger, why is the cheese on top of the tomato???? Hear me out
    -- If you put the cheese on the beef patty for the last minute or less that it is on the grill, the cheese will get JUST melty without running everywhere. The surface of the beef patty, covered in peaks and valleys, has a lot of surface area for the cheese to melt into, blending into a meaty, cheesey goodness. Yum!
    --If you have a layer of cheese in between the tomato and the bun, you risk getting tomato juice everywhere! The porous surface of the sliced bun is the ONLY part of a burger that will absorb tomato juice. The high fat content of the cheese and beef will seal out the water-based tomato juice, any lettuce will only channel the juice onto your hands/plate/table/pants.
    Those are the two biggest pros of putting tomato next to bread and cheese on the beef patty.

    • @dhumin610
      @dhumin610 7 лет назад +8

      MusicFillsTheQuiet thanks for the info random but intresting

    • @DrakeMagnum
      @DrakeMagnum 7 лет назад +3

      Passionate and true, like the ballads of Sir Michael Bolton.

    • @MusicFillsTheQuiet
      @MusicFillsTheQuiet 7 лет назад +6

      +DrakeMagnum When a man loves a burger....

    • @KarmasAB123
      @KarmasAB123 7 лет назад +7

      BUT... If you put tomato right up against the bun, the bun gets soggy (unless it's particularly thick). That's why you need the lettuce and/or sauce in between the two.

    • @ATizzle08
      @ATizzle08 7 лет назад +1

      Fuck tomatoes on burgers. It's not natural.

  • @Im_Behind_You
    @Im_Behind_You 7 лет назад +134

    AFTER HOURS LAUGHTER FLOWERS UNITE YOUR POWERS!!

  • @BrunoEwok
    @BrunoEwok 7 лет назад +160

    I specifically recall them trying to cross the desert, and getting into one of these conversations... wait, they never made it out of the desert, did they?

    • @kevinvolk968
      @kevinvolk968 7 лет назад +24

      they also went camping one time

    • @BostonMoose513
      @BostonMoose513 7 лет назад +4

      And their trip to Disney.

    • @KielyNewsome
      @KielyNewsome 7 лет назад

      Dan Marsh I was thinking about that as soon as they said it

    • @riveramnell143
      @riveramnell143 7 лет назад +10

      They also did an episode around a campfire.

  • @lukeeperthener2899
    @lukeeperthener2899 7 лет назад +598

    1. Katie's hair looks fantastic
    2. Pretty sure Soren already has the Curse of the Black Pearl since he seems ageless and unchanging
    3. Is it textual that the monster from It Follows sexes you to death? I thought it was a more mundane, neck-snappy kind of death?
    4. Is Soren eating a tomato burger because that is just an absurdly thick tomato slice

    • @LoganWH8
      @LoganWH8 7 лет назад +48

      Luke Eperthener
      5. Nobody had used the term "Gypsy" when Katie went off on Dan about it being a racial slur.

    • @Tozzie50
      @Tozzie50 7 лет назад +4

      I know that was weird...

    • @lucitti8065
      @lucitti8065 7 лет назад +36

      king of games and anime I think she said that because the "g*psy curse" is a fairly common curse trope.

    • @mmike10720
      @mmike10720 7 лет назад +14

      king of games and anime It was a reference to the gypsy curse in Stephen king' s Thinner.

    • @blither4656
      @blither4656 6 лет назад +2

      Clearly Katie has never actually lived in a town thats been visited by Gypsies...

  • @selmaangelina9895
    @selmaangelina9895 5 лет назад +206

    the tv show where a person uses the "sixth sense curse" to their advantage is called ghost whisperer lol

    • @kylovesart
      @kylovesart 4 года назад +10

      She doesn't really use it to her advantage though. She just helps souls because no one else can. And in the later seasons, you see that it's a major danger to her and creates problems in her life.

    • @MegaDiamondMC
      @MegaDiamondMC 4 года назад +10

      @@kylovesart I loved that show. Jennifer Love Hewitt was amazing. It's been so long since I've seen it, but I distinctly remember the Bloody Mary episode. I was a kid when I watched it. Had nightmares for weeks, even made my parents take down the mirrors in my bedroom.

    • @kylovesart
      @kylovesart 4 года назад +6

      @@MegaDiamondMC XD Oh no. For me the most memorable episode is when Angela dies but doesn't know she's dead. I was introduced to the show via reruns and somehow that was my first introduction to hear character. So then I had to go and watch the earlier episodes on purpose.

    • @jasonarons8637
      @jasonarons8637 4 года назад +3

      Or Michael J Fox in Frighteners

    • @jb888888888
      @jb888888888 3 года назад

      _Dead Last_ three itinerant musicians happen across the Amulet of Soren [no, really], which gives them the ability to talk to ghosts, who all need them to solve their unresolved issues so they can move on to the afterlife. The ghosts' issues that is. They very occasionally get rewarded by the ghosts with stashes of jewelry etc. No horse though.

  • @syystomu
    @syystomu 7 лет назад +425

    I've watched After Hours WAY too much. I caught the repetition immediately...

    • @sneffy111
      @sneffy111 7 лет назад +2

      Which episode is the older clip from?

    • @InstrucTube
      @InstrucTube 7 лет назад +9

      The first one. Back to the Future.

    • @sneffy111
      @sneffy111 7 лет назад

      Thanks!!!

    • @BaconSoap109
      @BaconSoap109 7 лет назад

      Tuuliska Same. =/

    • @AntonioRAhumada
      @AntonioRAhumada 7 лет назад +11

      Thought they'd reference Katie and Michael having sex once too 😋

  • @legoinsomniac
    @legoinsomniac 7 лет назад +436

    Feel like After Hours gets more meta every episode.

    • @braxtonhayes3801
      @braxtonhayes3801 7 лет назад +9

      Lego Insomniac as in more into the nonsense insteada the topic...

    • @noxabellus
      @noxabellus 7 лет назад +8

      yes braxton exactly how I like it, embracing the core pillar of the show

    • @GraeHall
      @GraeHall 7 лет назад +11

      "Have we ever not been in a diner?" Damn I love it :)

    • @mhypersonic
      @mhypersonic 5 лет назад

      Yea i hope it never ends!

  • @rami_ungar_writer
    @rami_ungar_writer 7 лет назад +171

    Depending on how you get the power, the Ghost Rider's curse is pretty awesome. You're basically immortal, you get to take out the worst scum in your neighborhood, and you look like a fucking badass while you do it. And you don't even have to sell your soul. Some Ghost Riders have just had enchanted vehicles that give them power. That's pretty awesome.

    • @waywardvoid
      @waywardvoid 7 лет назад +2

      Rami Ungar but would selling your soul be that bad if you're immortal and outran the devil's reach?

    • @rami_ungar_writer
      @rami_ungar_writer 7 лет назад +5

      Abel Guzman I guess so, but that means you have to constantly be on the move. After all, the Devil has plenty of resources at his disposal. You'd have to go everywhere wondering if today was the day Hell caught up with you.

    • @waywardvoid
      @waywardvoid 7 лет назад +2

      Rami Ungar so endless battles with hell spawns in new exotic places bringing sadistic pain to each new enemy. sure I have no soul to enjoy fighting every other day but it wouldn't be boring.

    • @rami_ungar_writer
      @rami_ungar_writer 7 лет назад +2

      But would it be worth it?

    • @waywardvoid
      @waywardvoid 7 лет назад +3

      honestly idk its all perspective I guess.

  • @logicaloverdrive8197
    @logicaloverdrive8197 6 лет назад +109

    8:13 look at the background characters, they know this batch needs to be wiped, this is the firefly episode all over again, can’t run a simulation without them eventually becoming aware, happens too goddamn much, hopefully they don’t have a Deadpool discussion, or we’ll have runners again, dammit swaim

  • @zpardus
    @zpardus 7 лет назад +114

    Correct answer: Beauty and the Beast.
    The Beast curse is only a curse if you think the human form is perfect, or if your self-worth is based on how others perceive you. If you're okay with change, you get...
    A) Increased endurance (super-human levels).
    B) Increased strength (super-human levels).
    C) Increased agility/mobility (super-human levels).
    D) Increased senses (super-human levels).
    E) Bonus: Smelly sweat glands are replaced with fur, which considering he lives in a colder region, would actually be beneficial.
    The only real down-side is that his servants are tied to the curse and need to be saved. But the beast himself would benefit greatly from it if he weren't so vain about his previous appearance.

    • @michaeliv284
      @michaeliv284 7 лет назад +6

      I guess that can work, but you may be hunted as a monster

    • @QueenSuperGeek
      @QueenSuperGeek 7 лет назад +11

      zpardus There is the huge downside that if you can't get someone to truly love you by 21 you and all your servants will die

    • @benjamincabreraaparicio8684
      @benjamincabreraaparicio8684 7 лет назад +10

      Amy Smith i thought they cant change back if the deadline passes not dying after the deadline.

    • @baldman7738
      @baldman7738 6 лет назад +3

      Yeah but you look like a furry

    • @mileskintnermusic7349
      @mileskintnermusic7349 5 лет назад +3

      The Neast's curse is every furry's dream.

  • @HouseOfDoo
    @HouseOfDoo 7 лет назад +256

    Is Soren's shirt on backwards? Doin great buddy, feel better.

    • @16Gabzilla
      @16Gabzilla 6 лет назад +7

      HouseOf 'Doo thank god other people noticed too.

    • @anonymousx2394
      @anonymousx2394 5 лет назад +3

      I just noticed

  • @pipparobinson2035
    @pipparobinson2035 7 лет назад +196

    OMG how cute is katy with white hair

    • @oldsalt394
      @oldsalt394 7 лет назад

      +Pippa robinson Almost as cute as your enthralling smile! 😶

    • @jazzyjgaming2316
      @jazzyjgaming2316 7 лет назад +4

      she's the one who's changed the most out of the four of them. 😂 I absolutely love it but I'm noticing how much she's changed

    • @ricardoguanipa8275
      @ricardoguanipa8275 7 лет назад +2

      FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

    • @parasite159
      @parasite159 7 лет назад +13

      it's a good look. like a Draco Malfoy I'd actually have sex with.

    • @rmcunningham3874
      @rmcunningham3874 7 лет назад

      AMAAAAAAAZING!!!!! So damn cool.

  • @TheInselaffen
    @TheInselaffen 7 лет назад +219

    Wait, they are all playing characters of themselves in the diner, but the characters are realizing that they only exist in the diner? Meta.

    • @Grizabeebles
      @Grizabeebles 7 лет назад +13

      +Organon -- The fact that the characters are called "so-and-so's brain" is probably a reference to the "brain in a vat" thought experiment. For example, if your entire universe were an all-night diner where you and your friends discussed a pop culture that did not exist in that universe -- would it still be real or meaningful?
      One philosopher I read went so far as to say that if the "vat person" were taught a language that used the exact same grammar, spelling and inflections of modern English, nothing the person in the vat said would have any real-world meaning because none of the nouns or verbs would correspond to the actual things in the real universe, only the _simulated_ objects and actions in the vat universe.
      Personally, if the simulation _were_ truly indistinguishable from reality, then it wouldn't make any difference to me.

    • @TheInselaffen
      @TheInselaffen 7 лет назад +6

      Derp, thanks for mansplaining what I was already commenting on... two months later.

    • @Grizabeebles
      @Grizabeebles 7 лет назад +9

      You're welcome. Its called asynchronous communication and its a phenomenon electronic communication is making more and more common. It's also a hobby of mine.

    • @TheInselaffen
      @TheInselaffen 7 лет назад +3

      Good Luck with your endeavors.

    • @martinseptim3390
      @martinseptim3390 6 лет назад +1

      Yeah it's a reference to Their matrix episode in which after one of them states the brain in a vat theory, 3 of them start acting strangely

  • @rebeccamitchell1343
    @rebeccamitchell1343 7 лет назад +259

    As a women in the Roma culture, THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!
    I get it this video is a skit, but at least someone said it!

    • @miloblackmetalhate
      @miloblackmetalhate 7 лет назад +5

      Rebecca Mitchell you have a really pretty smile :)

    • @MSTe98
      @MSTe98 7 лет назад +14

      As a woman in the Roma culture, do you have an opinion of the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Either Victor Hugo's or Disney's?

    • @mattaustin7012
      @mattaustin7012 7 лет назад +2

      I didn't know this was such a big deal.....fuck it, I still don't think it is

    • @nickbrowning3270
      @nickbrowning3270 7 лет назад +4

      I know somebody from romenia and he fucking hates gypsies, calls them human scum because they killed his dog( one of the local kids hit it with his mountainbike). His brother was also beaten and robbed?

    • @chaoticgood1776
      @chaoticgood1776 7 лет назад +4

      I think Katie was referring to the gypsy curse from Stephen King's Thinner. I may be stating the obvious but just in case anybody didn't know. It's a good one, worth a read.

  • @ShawnRavenfire
    @ShawnRavenfire 7 лет назад +81

    Ghost Rider used his curse as a super power.

    • @royalewithcheese7
      @royalewithcheese7 7 лет назад +6

      and all he had to do was sign over his soul to eternal tortures pf hell to get it

  • @mullac1992
    @mullac1992 7 лет назад +263

    Holy shit, Soren really hasn't changed at all in the million or so years they've been doing this...

    • @mwoolner
      @mwoolner 7 лет назад +13

      I believe the imdb trivia for this show estimated that they've been doing it for about 10,000 years.

    • @DavidCEberhartII
      @DavidCEberhartII 7 лет назад +15

      Soren is a Vampire.

    • @TheBriguy1998
      @TheBriguy1998 7 лет назад +1

      I see we have an MTG fan here.

    • @onemadhungrynomad
      @onemadhungrynomad 7 лет назад +11

      i am guessing there is a painting of soren somewhere that looks like hell.

    • @thedarkkrystal1016
      @thedarkkrystal1016 7 лет назад +2

      onemadhungrynomad I think you're on to something here. I saw him in real life and he looks just as flawless as he does on film.

  • @decoydamsel
    @decoydamsel 7 лет назад +47

    The people outside were deeply deeply disturbing. Also is it bad that I recognized the raisins thing immediately? Lol I watched these way too much

  • @waiyahimran3404
    @waiyahimran3404 7 лет назад +45

    why are people creaping behind them

    • @mauricioalonso2157
      @mauricioalonso2157 7 лет назад +60

      Lol, because they realized that they are trapped inside the series, that's their curse

    • @thesephiam
      @thesephiam 7 лет назад

      Mauricio Alonso Garrido there was a episode where at the end the wait staff was spying on them or something

  • @carsonphillips8008
    @carsonphillips8008 7 лет назад +113

    Anyone else have that day each week where they rewatch all the After Hours, and another day where they rewatch the OPCD?

    • @lanni5
      @lanni5 5 лет назад +1

      Wow Jesus you get it

    • @SeeE2ps
      @SeeE2ps 5 лет назад

      Real talk . . . Scared the shyt outta me first watch. Wasn't expecting that

  • @logancantrell
    @logancantrell 4 года назад +10

    Ok, to comment on the 'The Ring' curse, someone would have to be the last person to watch it. All 6,999,999,999 people would have seen it, and then one last guy or gal would finally get a link to it, watch it and have no one to send it to. They'd have to watch it, and know for the next week there wasn't a single person on Earth they could show it to, just waiting to die. Kinda upsetting if you think about it that way. Oh well, an eternal Diner with your friends doesn't sound too bad though.

    • @Xion314
      @Xion314 4 года назад

      Based on that interpretation, being freed from the curse once will nullify the curse forever. But Soren's PotC curse is assumed to be recurring.

    • @David_Last_Name
      @David_Last_Name 4 года назад +3

      Nah, there are new people being born all the time. Just show it to a baby and your good.
      ..........what? Why is everyone looking at me like that?

  • @jamesflowers1295
    @jamesflowers1295 7 лет назад +165

    Didn't they have a 'stranded' episode?

    • @Phantomkidx
      @Phantomkidx 7 лет назад +36

      James Flowers and a camp fire one too

    • @CWScally
      @CWScally 7 лет назад

      Yeah, but those were clearly greenscreen.

    • @Quita615
      @Quita615 7 лет назад

      Croshawable ...IN the diner.

    • @CWScally
      @CWScally 7 лет назад +16

      Quita Bananaz precisely. Athough Michael went outside to lead some kind of nationalist rally in the captain America episode

    • @umichrudy
      @umichrudy 7 лет назад +3

      Flowers gets a mention in the post credit scene!

  • @Lil_Bean00
    @Lil_Bean00 7 лет назад +107

    I'm waiting for the fanmade Cracked lore video's.
    Of course I'm waiting for someone else to do it, I've got precious time to waste myself.

    • @zwordsman
      @zwordsman 7 лет назад +8

      basically they'll end up like Welcoem to Nightvale

    • @XinBiDe
      @XinBiDe 7 лет назад +19

      film theory, get on it

    • @pixiebubbles2628
      @pixiebubbles2628 7 лет назад +1

      Lil Bean , I'm trying.

    • @stardeki
      @stardeki 7 лет назад +1

      Lil Bean There are entire fanmade scripts on fanfic sites. They're p great

    • @Lil_Bean00
      @Lil_Bean00 7 лет назад

      That sounds hilarious, I'll definitely check it out :)

  • @Dazen101
    @Dazen101 7 лет назад +24

    In Sorren's defense, Just get a needle and freeze some of your blood. Then measure out a small drop for every time you return the gold?

    • @DrakeMagnum
      @DrakeMagnum 7 лет назад

      I was curious too if it is required the blood be fresh.

  • @Argarna
    @Argarna 7 лет назад +56

    The problem with Sorens idea is he'd have to steal the whole chest of gold rather than one piece, so whether or not he bled on a coin and put it back in the chest, the stolen chest full of gold would still be stolen and the curse would remain

    • @Markmaben17
      @Markmaben17 7 лет назад +9

      T- Bone was it ever established that the chest has to stay at Isla De Muerta? I thought it was presented to Cortez, notably not on an island probably, that's just where it ended up before the Black Pearl crew found it. And if KH is canon (which, let's face it, it is) the chest can be moved around. The only reason Barbossa leaves it there is because it is their plunder storage place, and NO ONE ELSE can find it, and fuck up the curse lifting

    • @FrancisR420
      @FrancisR420 5 лет назад +1

      Another problem is if anyone came and took even a single piece of gold you be f***** for life especially if they die childless
      Admittedly hard to pull off with the whole immortality thing but that one jack off managed to do it.

    • @brandonneal6659
      @brandonneal6659 5 лет назад +3

      @@FrancisR420 Also say that person trapped you in a dungeon or something like that so you can literally never get out. You would never die!!! Just trapped forever never ending loneliness and darkness. That is a fate worse than death or any torture!! I would rather not be immortal if I had even just a 3%chance of that happening lol

    • @JimmySteller
      @JimmySteller 5 лет назад

      @@Markmaben17 KH?

  • @thothtahuti5509
    @thothtahuti5509 3 года назад +11

    These old "after hours" videos are the best content cracked made, I hope they can bring back this type of brilliance

  • @eliotmatthews4988
    @eliotmatthews4988 7 лет назад +454

    Katie's new hair looks good

    • @ScipionLaurentiend
      @ScipionLaurentiend 7 лет назад +2

      agreed...

    • @mwytrykus
      @mwytrykus 7 лет назад +4

      She's rocking the Evil Lyn look. I like it.

    • @supersizesenpai
      @supersizesenpai 7 лет назад +2

      I'm on the fence with it. It's kind of cute but It also makes her look kind of old.

    • @lollipophugo
      @lollipophugo 7 лет назад +5

      Nah she looks smokin with this imo.

    • @Pivitrix
      @Pivitrix 7 лет назад +6

      She has gone full lesbian to take her bitter feminist bullshit even further.

  • @drawerconsciousness6332
    @drawerconsciousness6332 7 лет назад +91

    2010 Oct 18. WHY BACK TO THE FUTURE IS SECRETLY HORRIFYING!!! I knew it, i'm not crazy. I'm on to you After Hours....

    • @emmastausholm
      @emmastausholm 7 лет назад

      Joshua Tufvesson i love you i so it to

    • @grumpymacaron
      @grumpymacaron 7 лет назад +1

      Joshua Tufvesson OMFG I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING DEJA VU

    • @Milklover-p4g
      @Milklover-p4g 7 лет назад +1

      I knew it was familiar too

    • @jasminethompson8808
      @jasminethompson8808 7 лет назад +2

      right I knew I had watched a video with the exact same intro but not this topic.. I thought I was going crazy for a second there

    • @XXC0Y
      @XXC0Y 7 лет назад +1

      I actually made sure the clip was new after that. Thought I had jumped to an old ep.

  • @mirmalchik
    @mirmalchik 7 лет назад +59

    Michael: "Mine's you guys. I love you guys."
    Everyone else: -ignore-
    Me: -high pitched- "Awwww! Wait...Are those people standing in the window just watching them? That's creepy af."

  • @mp5160
    @mp5160 7 лет назад +29

    Holy fuck the people in the back towards the end.

    • @platinum01
      @platinum01 7 лет назад +2

      ahhhh

    • @anvypieender5804
      @anvypieender5804 7 лет назад +1

      Omg I thought I was the only one that noticed that! I was looking through the comments for a while. Thank goodness I'm not crazy.

  • @Ralphfish4
    @Ralphfish4 4 года назад +3

    Barbosa says when talking to Elisabeth on the Black Pearl, and I quote, "This is Aztec gold." So yeah it definitely is Aztec gold.

  • @aestevalis0
    @aestevalis0 7 лет назад +201

    Whoa. Blonde Katie. Short & blonde looks good on her.

    • @yourikhan4425
      @yourikhan4425 7 лет назад +7

      To each his own. I think she looks better in brunette with longer hair.

    • @EmployeeJoe630
      @EmployeeJoe630 7 лет назад +13

      Brian Nevs why

    • @BowlMakerSteve
      @BowlMakerSteve 7 лет назад +1

      She probably went platinum to distract from the nose job she got before this episode. She looks great though.

    • @timothymills5410
      @timothymills5410 7 лет назад

      Steve Snyder whoa it really is a noticeable nose job

    • @BowlMakerSteve
      @BowlMakerSteve 7 лет назад +1

      I really don't know why I'm obsessing-pop-culture over it so much. It's her nose, she can do what she wants, it's no one else's business, they live in LA so plastic surgery for them is basically like getting their teeth cleaned, but still... Maybe it's just the fact that Katie makes such a big point of being an outspoken feminist, which I support, and of course a nose job doesn't negate any of that, if she didn't like her nose and she wanted to change it, fine, but it smacks a little of body conformity based upon primarily male standards of beauty right? I don't know, I shouldn't have brought it up, like I said, I don't know why I even give a shit. Sorry Katie, although I doubt you or anyone at Cracked will ever see this.

  • @joli0
    @joli0 7 лет назад +20

    umm the girl I forget her name looks like gerard way from welcome to the Black Parade

  • @Varatil
    @Varatil 7 лет назад +18

    Ooh wait. Figured it out. It's a Groundhog Day thing, right? Like having Bill Murray's curse from Groundhog Day would be a decent superpower bc you're immortal and clairvoyant? Aaaand I'm guessing...Katie has it. Hence different hair, same scenario? I guess it could also be Soren, since I'm calling this shot at 3:00, so Dan and Mike have already gone. But Soren already got a time abuse power in the Best Superpower episode, so I'm stickin' w/Katie.

    • @Varatil
      @Varatil 7 лет назад +6

      Is that it, am I right? (Continues to talk as if she can't just wait til the video ends to find out before she posts)

    • @Varatil
      @Varatil 7 лет назад +9

      Wooh, I was totally wrong! Now I can be sure no one thinks I was feigning cleverness w/a pretend "prediction" and everyone will know this was in real time.
      This is an incredibly fruitless conversation I'm having w/myself!

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 7 лет назад

      That it is, Josi. That it is.

  • @MaricaAmbrosius
    @MaricaAmbrosius 7 лет назад +17

    How do we know the pirates in Pirates really look the way they look in the moonlight? Is there something special about moonlight that sunlight doesn't have? They seem to have muscles, given how they move. But they don't look like they have muscles in the moonlight. Maybe the Aztec gold just curses them to look horrifying, which in their case kinda helps them do their job?

    • @FrancisR420
      @FrancisR420 5 лет назад +1

      No they definitely turn into rotten Corpses you can place a bomb into their chest and then kick them into the dark to wait out the fuse you can't do that with muscles.
      Also like you said the Moonlight is just light it reflects off of what is there that will reflect it, it's not some hologram.

  • @leafwhite6376
    @leafwhite6376 7 лет назад +33

    Addressing the "Subscribe and Stuff" at the end: Am I misunderstanding something? You are saying that the gold in PotC is NOT Aztec gold? Because it is. Barbossa calls it "Aztec gold" when he is talking to Elizabeth
    B: "You don't know what this is, do you?"
    E: "Pirate Medallion"
    B: "This is Aztec gold..."
    Maybe I'm just going crazy... or maybe staying up 2409 days straight to catch every After Hours video has me sleep deprived...

    • @OkamiG15
      @OkamiG15 7 лет назад +19

      Leaf White It was Aztec Gold. The end card was a joke at the expense of people who try and correct every little mistake they make, especially when they try and correct it with false information.

  • @bigvaibhav
    @bigvaibhav 7 лет назад +22

    so they deliberately had people watching in the background in the end, Huh

    • @mmmkkkyla
      @mmmkkkyla 7 лет назад +6

      vaibhav mittal it was creepy af

    • @shawnparkspost
      @shawnparkspost 7 лет назад +1

      That's funny. I didn't even notice it.

  • @viljamtheninja
    @viljamtheninja 7 лет назад +12

    Swedish person here. Michael Swaim, please accept my official invitation to Sweden for your future in the sex assassin business.

  • @pikapanda64
    @pikapanda64 7 лет назад +25

    "They're bright, they're blooming, and one day they'll die" :')

  • @OpinionsNoOneCaresAbout
    @OpinionsNoOneCaresAbout 7 лет назад +10

    There are worse curses than living an endless loop of a low-budget version of the opening of Reservoir Dogs...right?

  • @jaydekatsays4215
    @jaydekatsays4215 7 лет назад +5

    Katie's hair is perfect! She looks really good.
    Also Daniel, for the 6th sense theory, there's a show with that premise, it's called Ghost Whisperer. The main character doesn't really get paid for her deeds, but she gets warm fuzzy feelings? I guess that's good, too.

  • @VeinyWombat
    @VeinyWombat 7 лет назад +11

    Aaaww, look how cute Michael was :3 Katie, you definitely got prettier somhow.

  • @l0st5oul45
    @l0st5oul45 7 лет назад +16

    Is that sourcefed crew in the background?

  • @TheLocust1990
    @TheLocust1990 7 лет назад +14

    holy crap
    she looks really good with that hair

  • @ethanmuncy7135
    @ethanmuncy7135 7 лет назад

    The Sixth Sense ability is fucking awesome. Sure, you're constantly having to deal with dead people, but imagine how many murder cases you can solve by talking to the victim.

  • @Theeduckie
    @Theeduckie 7 лет назад

    I have seen this episode at least 10 times. I just noticed the background characters staring at them at the end. I've still got chills. Nice work, all!

  • @GregStallion
    @GregStallion 7 лет назад +235

    As a full-blooded Hungarian-born Roma (half-Romungro and half-Lovari) who had to be adopted by White Americans just so I could have a loving family and grow-up in an accepting society, Katie's remark about the Romani means so much to me. :) This is all of the validation I need.

    • @LoganWH8
      @LoganWH8 7 лет назад +11

      why? None of them had said anything to provoke that, and Katie said it like she was telling Dan off about it.

    • @whatthefuckismyname9173
      @whatthefuckismyname9173 7 лет назад +15

      He did use it in the Pinocchio episode of Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder, so maybe it was a reference to that.

    • @dairoleon2682
      @dairoleon2682 6 лет назад +10

      Why did you use a positive tone for that comment? Your relationship with your ancestry looks about as positive as mine, except the White American family who adopted me was... well, not loving. But at least they contributed to my survival to adulthood, which is a lot more than I can say about my biological parents. Seriously though, racial pride of any stripe just needs to go. Especially for Americans who are inherently predisposed to being multiracial, and residents of third world countries who are clearly not benefiting from their genetic ancestry.

    • @vegangurly
      @vegangurly 5 лет назад +1

      Dairo Leon this comment was a big yessssss

    • @brandonneal6659
      @brandonneal6659 5 лет назад +4

      @@dairoleon2682 Why should racial pride need to go? Why not be proud of your race and ancestry?? Not in like a racist way like thinking your race is superior but Heritage and ancestry is something to pass on and teach your kids about.. I am just curious why you think that. It's interesting to think about

  • @petrino
    @petrino 7 лет назад +25

    im suffering from a severe case of deja vu...

  • @sophiafrost3786
    @sophiafrost3786 7 лет назад +28

    Only reason i stay

    • @Styrac
      @Styrac 7 лет назад

      So am I not the only one tired of the political crap?

  • @rmd6321
    @rmd6321 3 года назад +1

    I added to my phone's long history of screen cracks at 7:13... I'm gonna leave the light on tonight 😅
    Edit: The waitress' movements as I'm listening to the conversation.

  • @MizzMDN11
    @MizzMDN11 7 лет назад +7

    Oh shit that call back to that earlier After Hours really fucked me up.
    I had to read the title again, and then re-check the release date to make sure I wasn't losing my mind xD

  • @honeyroses799
    @honeyroses799 7 лет назад +39

    THE ONLY REASON I'M SUBSCRIBED

  • @lessonswithlaya
    @lessonswithlaya 7 лет назад +7

    I LOVEEEEE that Katie changes her hair so much and i LOVEEEEEEEEE this new hair style!!!!

  • @WatchMeSayStuff
    @WatchMeSayStuff 7 лет назад +12

    the mistake you made WAS NOT FILMING A SECOND SEASONS OF STARSHIP ICARUS >:(

  • @AWorldofKayos
    @AWorldofKayos 7 лет назад +1

    love the ending that was surreal for someone who watches since 2012

  • @livvhauber6195
    @livvhauber6195 7 лет назад +6

    Haha! More and more people appear standing and staring in the background as the video progresses. Reminds me of Inception, like they were realizing they were in a dream and the subconscious has noticed.

    • @FrancisR420
      @FrancisR420 5 лет назад +1

      That doesn't happen at all they are all just doing their own thing until the twist ending when they are standing up and staring it's not gradual throughout the video

  • @Meanwhile-
    @Meanwhile- 7 лет назад +73

    That opener seems familiar.

    • @phoenixwerner3694
      @phoenixwerner3694 7 лет назад +7

      Watch the entire video before you comment.

    • @espurious
      @espurious 7 лет назад +1

      Congratulations on not getting sarcasm

    • @phoenixwerner3694
      @phoenixwerner3694 7 лет назад +9

      It's hard to understand when someone is being sarcastic through text.

    • @k9commander
      @k9commander 7 лет назад +2

      They Seinfeld-ed it.

    • @fanfaretloudest
      @fanfaretloudest 7 лет назад +6

      Mwahahahaha! Welcome to the witnessing of the Cracked Diner curse, where four friends spout some same lines and sit in the same order for all eternity.

  • @aboutashow
    @aboutashow 7 лет назад +31

    Bloooonde!

  • @detubeme
    @detubeme 7 лет назад +10

    Wait... If Starline is Katie's brain... and she gives Katie food.... Does that mean Starline is a manifestation of Katie's thoughts that telekinectically brings Katie food?!?!?!?!?!?!? (With or without raisins.) 4:09

  • @ToffleAppie
    @ToffleAppie 7 лет назад +1

    Katie's hair is so insanely fabulous I had to restart the video four times because I was thoroughly distracted by it and wasn't listening to anything they said.

  • @teenygozer
    @teenygozer 7 лет назад

    Sixth Sense is a movie about someone who has to come to terms with his "gift"; it's a curse until he accepts it and grows into it, then it makes him special and gives him a job to do. Same thing with another M Knight Shyamalan film, Unbreakable.

  • @Termanator1212121212
    @Termanator1212121212 7 лет назад +5

    I'm sorry Cracked... you guys have clearly run your course with After Hours, trapped by a fanbase that perpetually demands more of it. I love the show but you guys are clearly bored and out of ideas.
    Dan, please make more OCPD.

  • @xXxHolyBigMacxXx
    @xXxHolyBigMacxXx 7 лет назад +8

    So when are we going to acknowledge the elephant in the room? Why is Soren wearing a shirt?

    • @scottmichaeloneil
      @scottmichaeloneil 7 лет назад +3

      The elephant in the room is that when Soren put his head down you could see that he's lost more hair than DOB.

  • @Sahantara
    @Sahantara 7 лет назад +46

    The ending is spooky!

    • @espurious
      @espurious 7 лет назад +45

      What ending? After Hours doesn't end, they just choose a different topic. It goes on and on and on. Would you like some raisins?

    • @satine990
      @satine990 7 лет назад +4

      espurious i'm allergic to raisins

    • @Sahantara
      @Sahantara 7 лет назад +1

      Look, we don't need to get into a thing.

    • @sarahgent2674
      @sarahgent2674 7 лет назад +1

      Look around you, Sahantara, we are in a thing. This is us... In a thing.

  • @mopargirl420
    @mopargirl420 6 лет назад

    "Like putting too much blood in a balloon!!" has me CRACKing up! ;D

  • @MrPulse333
    @MrPulse333 7 лет назад

    The cook and waitress staring in the back at the end was a nice touch. Very creepy..

  • @AngusStewart01
    @AngusStewart01 7 лет назад +15

    this video broke the 4th wall great video

  • @cluelesscheese1
    @cluelesscheese1 7 лет назад +6

    man swaim is so heartwarming. we love you too buddy. Lol :) soren im sick too.. sorry ur sick.. daniel keep up that hysterical shit your show obsessive pop-culture disorder rocks! and katie as always insightful and supportive.. also love the hairdo, reminds me of robyn.

  • @thephantomoftheparadise5666
    @thephantomoftheparadise5666 7 лет назад +18

    Maybe there all cursed to forever be stuck going to diners and talking about pop culture.

  • @DXDragon38
    @DXDragon38 4 месяца назад

    6:47 - 6:57 Michael: "It's you guys. I Love you guys." *Looks down sad*
    ME TOO MICHAEL! ❤😢

  • @613aristocrat
    @613aristocrat 5 лет назад +1

    They missed half the point of the Sixth Sense movie, which was the boy's acceptance of his second sight. The climax of the movie was Cole bringing justice to a murdered girl. Such a powerful and sad scene.

    • @613aristocrat
      @613aristocrat 5 лет назад

      It's really why I like the movie. The twist was awesome, but the character growth of the boy was so impactful and cathartic.

    • @alwaysonyourtail2563
      @alwaysonyourtail2563 5 лет назад

      @@613aristocrat i would say its a curse. a lot of the ghosts are confused and draw to the kid causeing him a large amount of stress. each ghost would take a toll on your soul each time you encountered one. which the boy says they are everywhere his life is like a raw nerve

  • @audrey1053
    @audrey1053 7 лет назад +17

    Isn't being Santa if you replace Santa the best curse?

    • @michaeliv284
      @michaeliv284 7 лет назад

      Dependin on how you look at it. I always see immortality as a down side

    • @audrey1053
      @audrey1053 7 лет назад +1

      Well, he's not. If he falls from a roof he's dead... Right? I haven't watch that in ages. I just can't think of any ''curse'' that is more harmless.

    • @audrey1053
      @audrey1053 7 лет назад +2

      Well yes, that sounds like an even more tragic curse... For Mrs. Claus.
      Quite frankly, I didn't see any sequels. So I can't comment on that. But, wasn't that if he didn't marry he could no longer be Santa? (I think I remember that from the commercials) if it's the case that makes the curse even better: If you dislike it, you can basically just wait it out.

    • @Trevin_Taylor
      @Trevin_Taylor 5 лет назад

      As someone who did see the sequels, in 2 if he didn’t get married (just married, not specifically to the opposite sex, just married) he would lose his power and stop being Santa; it sucked. However 3 showed there was an “escape claus” where he could turn back time to the moment he became Santa and undo it. Martin Short became Santa instead and it’s ok. 1 and 3 are good. 2 sucks. But he could back out at any time, which would rewind time to the moment he became claus and relive his entire life over again from that point as mortal. That’s the weird part, he could live for like 5000 years then undo the choice and go back and see his son who would have died centuries before.

  • @Billi_crow
    @Billi_crow 5 лет назад +13

    It’s been two years and this series still holds up

    • @tbirdguy1
      @tbirdguy1 4 года назад +1

      It's definitely a thing... they are in a thing.

  • @mikebowie323
    @mikebowie323 7 лет назад +10

    The Mummy: That being mummified alive thing basically made him a god.

    • @roseharper3542
      @roseharper3542 7 лет назад

      mike bowie Yea but you also have to get eaten alive by bugs...

    • @FragmentJack
      @FragmentJack 7 лет назад

      Granted, it was only once. Sure, all the other things like getting your tongue removed sucks, but immortality and god-like power is worth it.

  • @4amlibra
    @4amlibra 9 месяцев назад

    Ok seriously everyone silently staring at them at the end, unmoving, was low-key fucking terrifying, and it’s somehow SO MUCH WORSE that they didn’t even acknowledge it.

  • @FancyFufflyBunny
    @FancyFufflyBunny 7 лет назад

    ...they didn't even mention Elsa's curse ?! She can make castles and dresses from thin air! Looks like darn good upside to me. Plus, she only has to control her emotions and this basically just an awesome ice power.

  • @Backinblackbunny009
    @Backinblackbunny009 7 лет назад +4

    Today, my 10 year old daughter asked me what my favorite RUclips channel was when I was a kid. I'm 34 next month. We're all suddenly aging so fast and I'm not ok with this!

  • @JordanMgordan
    @JordanMgordan 7 лет назад +16

    It WAS Aztec gold though... wasn't it?

    • @getshwifty3101
      @getshwifty3101 6 лет назад +7

      VenomShock To be specific, "Cursed Aztec gold....belonging to Cortéz himself."

    • @SockMonkey007
      @SockMonkey007 5 лет назад +7

      @@getshwifty3101 Blood money paid to stem the slaughter he wreaked upon them with his armies.

  • @TheSamkrox
    @TheSamkrox 7 лет назад +5

    Yes! Finally! *Love* After Hours!

  • @Peaslepuff
    @Peaslepuff 7 лет назад +1

    Goodness. For a second I thought I was stuck in a time loop, rewatching the first After Hours video. Ah, memories...

  • @MisfitSlacker
    @MisfitSlacker 7 лет назад

    Enjoyed this, but the thing about the gold in Pirates isn't just that it has to be in the chest, it has to stay in the cave too, so bringing it home wouldn't work.

  • @ballergames101
    @ballergames101 7 лет назад +3

    another negative of seeing dead people is that you live in a world were if you die you are stuck in our world but no one can hear or see you except 1 breathy little kid and Daniel

  • @catshark649
    @catshark649 7 лет назад +6

    katie with blonde hair
    awesome

  • @chesskinge
    @chesskinge 7 лет назад +4

    the ending scared the shiz out of me

    • @andersoncherub
      @andersoncherub 7 лет назад

      Me too. I don't know if I can sleep now. I'm picturing people outside my window, just staring.

  • @hollierose9998
    @hollierose9998 7 лет назад +2

    The girl is my spirit animal. She looks so good with that hair style oml

  • @bsabruzzo
    @bsabruzzo 6 лет назад

    That idea to use the Sixth Sense's seeing dead people for profit is how Micheal J Fox's character does it in Frighteners. And that also is my answer to a future video about which ghosts would be the best to have.

  • @EP3Stuff
    @EP3Stuff Год назад +3

    Where my 2023 viewing crew at? Yup, still here, still watching, always watching, never leaving. After Hours is life,

    • @jb888888888
      @jb888888888 Год назад +1

      Look, we don't have to get into a thing...

  • @KingofKlubs
    @KingofKlubs 3 года назад +3

    I cant help but laugh everytime I see Soren's animated face. He just strolls in grinning and then finishes with smug satisfaction. It cracks me up so hard XD XD XD

  • @robsonparker6835
    @robsonparker6835 7 лет назад +4

    "it seems like we're always in a diner"
    well it's literally only once a month guys... I'd understand the complaint if after hours was every week ;)

    • @jb888888888
      @jb888888888 4 года назад

      Per "6 movies where the timelines don't add up" episode they're there every day.

  • @bfilak23
    @bfilak23 7 лет назад

    Have we ever not been in a diner? Yes, a campground, around a campfire, also in a desert near a broken down car. Because Daniel doesn't know what oil is.

  • @DanteYewToob
    @DanteYewToob 6 месяцев назад

    I’m with Soren, you could just pay a nurse to take a bag of your blood, keep it in the fridge and whenever you’re done adventuring you just throw a few drops in the chest of gold. Done. I hate needles and blood too but I could absolutely deal with drawing blood once a year or so to be functionally immortal whenever I choose!