I actually did that elevator practice with my daughter when she was about four she punched me in the leg and told me it was stupid. Years later we were on an elevator and I looked at her and said aren't you glad I made you practice. She punched me in the shoulder.
Some of my top favorites: "I have a cordless telephone cord. I keep it on my decaffeinated coffee table." "I lost a button hole." "Everyday I try and move my rug by telekinesis. I've been doing this everyday for eight years, the rug hasn't moved an inch. The rest of the house is gone." 😂😂👍
MY VERY FIRST AND FAVORITE BY STEVEN WRIGHT WAS, I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT, THAT ALL THE BABIES PREVENTED BY THE PILL, CAME BACK. AND BOY WERE THEY PISSED! STILL MAKES ME LOL
I have a friend named George. People think George is weird because he has side burns growing behind his ears. I think he’s weird because he has false teeth with braces on them.
I went to see him years ago, and his show lasted 90 mins, trouble was, weeks before I went to see Ken Dodd, and his show lasted 3 and a half hours. Felt a bit short changed, lol.
I have an interactive answering machine; when people call they think they're having a conversation with me - now I'm being sued by six women for breach of promise.
I took a steering wheel to the drivers license place and held it in front of me looking left at the camera. Policeman pulled me over and laughed so hard he let me go. True story.
It's the voice, the stare, the material, the timing. He's the whole package.
Kimrttkû
Fully, agree!✍️🫶🤣💘
And the hair
The man is a total genius. Come back Steven Wright, the world needs you!
All this time, I thought he passed away years ago…
He was recently on Conan's podcast. Whole video is on RUclips.
How wonderfully refreshing .... a clean comedian!! What a memory he has, and excellent delivery....clever and witty too.
He had a clever comedic brain. Some of those jokes are pure gold. Un scented perfume, powdered water, love it
Blasting a blank tape and a mime complains....This man has the most twisted mind on the planet.
The man is a genius love from Edinburgh Scotland.
Steven Wright can and does out do all of the other comedians there ever was and is he absolutely awesome 😎 ❤😊
Robin Williams 😎
And I also agree with you 😜
The speeding at 150 mph joke was absolute gold. "So im on my way to the stand - you know the rest." wow..
He makes me appreciate the big questions like " do claustrophobic people ever really close their eyes. ? "
The wrapping paper joke! LOL!
Steven is the Jimi Hendrix of Comedy!!
Jimi Hendrix is the Stephen Wright of guitar
2:06 “Choose a different print so he knows when to stop”. Hilarious 😂😂😂
I actually did that elevator practice with my daughter when she was about four she punched me in the leg and told me it was stupid. Years later we were on an elevator and I looked at her and said aren't you glad I made you practice. She punched me in the shoulder.
Good one
Such a violent daughter!
Thanks for sharing. After Carlin, Wright is the greatest.
The joke about the "high beams" reminded me that the switch used to be a button on the floor.
Some of my top favorites:
"I have a cordless telephone cord. I keep it on my decaffeinated coffee table."
"I lost a button hole."
"Everyday I try and move my rug by telekinesis.
I've been doing this everyday for eight years, the rug hasn't moved an inch. The rest of the house is gone."
😂😂👍
Toy train schedules LMAO!!!!!!!😂
“ How fast is the speed of dark?” Lol
I've used that "seatbelt" joke a bunch of times!!
“My God, he must’ve been Uuuggggeee!”-🐼🦨🦝👀💪
Thank you Steve.
When god made George Carlin and Threw away the mold, he found the mold by accident later, turned it inside out and then made Steven Wright.. :-)
He filled in everything outside the mold
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time
Brilliant comedic poetry!
The Road Runner joke is gold!
MY VERY FIRST AND FAVORITE BY STEVEN WRIGHT WAS, I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT, THAT ALL THE BABIES PREVENTED BY THE PILL, CAME BACK. AND BOY WERE THEY PISSED! STILL MAKES ME LOL
The witness stand joke 😂
Nice boomerang on that one. Very clever
Didnt Mitch Hedberg steal that?
Check out 1-7 wicker chair...this rocks!
Funniest man ever.
Thank you so much as I need the stomach pain laugh !!!!!
I have a friend named George. People think George is weird because he has side burns growing behind his ears.
I think he’s weird because he has false teeth with braces on them.
No obscenity no religious shock no race jokes. Smart and hilarious !
Arrested for resisting arrest... cops actually do that...
Like he said, he was a peripheral visionary....
That part was a little too real, so he moved on. Lol
I know a guy who resisted arrest, he was really tired but he kept his eyes open anyways.
I went to see him years ago, and his show lasted 90 mins, trouble was, weeks before I went to see Ken Dodd, and his show lasted 3 and a half hours. Felt a bit short changed, lol.
amazing...classic.
I have an interactive answering machine; when people call they think they're having a conversation with me - now I'm being sued by six women for breach of promise.
I been telling the joke about the hitchhiker, seatbelt, and cartoons for years. How old is he? How old am I? These damn receding hairlines.😂
Again, fantastic -
When the ads get too thick I bail out !!
My favorite: "I got a paper cut while writing a suicide note. It's a start..."
unscented perfume
Im a peripheral visionary...i can see in to the future just way off to the side
How does he remember all of these lines?!
💥🔥🙃these are rare jokes he rarely used❤
HILARIOUS!! PaulaC.
on the other hand, you have different fingers.
I had to disembark after about 15 minutes.
Omg how funny!!!
Silence-Her?🤭🔥
6:48 Predicted Pooty Tang
I wonder what's the age cutoff for catching the floor-mounted dimmer switch punchline?
I'm 32 and got it. But I think I'm an exception
1985 lol
no that's Steven Lefte
she was wearing pierced hearing aids.. Wow that's Awesome... lol
Small claims court jester.
No that's Steven Wright
That boy just ain't wright.
I took a steering wheel to the drivers license place and held it in front of me looking left at the camera.
Policeman pulled me over and laughed so hard he let me go.
True story.
Pauly Shore on lithium
what's a 5/7?
Does it matter if I have the Rocky Bullwinkle b******* going on in here
Sad this generation would even get these jokes
KONY 2012
😂
Definitely influenced by Rodney Dangerfield.