for me, this son actually means, quite a lot. my life's been great, don't get me wrong. I have a great family, I have an awesome pair of parents...but in a way I use to have three parents. My dad use to be busy all the time, and my mom was depressed to the point she wouldn't move from the couch from the morning til bed time. but my grandma? You could not pull me away from her with out having me bawl my eyes out. she was basically like a second mom. she tucked me in, told me stories, fed me, root for me, gave me advice. if it wasn't for her I'd be twenty times more depressing then anyone in my family. But she was diabetic, so she had a lot of mood swings and bad health issues that slowly took a total on her body. she became over weight which made her health get worse, which in turn got her depressed which made her gain more weight and so on. my mom didn't want that for me so we started to walk together more often, hang out, she even had me try new things. But...one day, on a Sunday in the afternoon we left to go get some snacks, nothing out the ordinary, chips, ice cream, just some goodies for ourselves. we had a fun time just driving around and when we got close to home we even took a detour to chase an ice cream truck. eventually we caught it and bought dome ice cream before heading home. I walk in to the room to greet my grandma, like I always do. then I turn the corner to see my grandma, my role model, my inspiration. on the ground with her face down, I froze and dropped what I had and tried to wake her up, she wouldn't and I called for help. Everyone in the house came in and gave her first aid while my uncle and aunt tried to calm me down from all my shaking. I couldn't breath I felt like I was in some sick nightmare. They called the ambulance and kept her going til they came. I stayed away from everyone and was in a room with my uncle trying to calm down while they took my grandma away. My mom and dad went with them to make sure she was okay and I was left alone at the house by my own request. I needed to think but I think seeing the room in ruins from trying to help my grandma made me go into more of a shocked state. I grab my phone and tried to wait for a text. eventually it became 2, maybe 3 in the morning? I can't remember. all I remember is that my mom and dad came home and they told me she had a heartbeat and that everything would be fine. that calmed me down, but I spent the night on the couch since I didn't want to go into the room. me and my grandma shared the room so it was even more of a shell shocker. anyways, I went to sleep and I had a dream with my grandma, trying to stop her from packing up and moving away, I was crying and asking her where she was going and she gave me this, mixed look. she looked happy, sad, angry, and serious, she looked at me and said she'd visit me again and the rest of the dream faded away. I woke up at like 6, they told me I wasn't going to school since I had a rough night. an hour later my mom gets a call and she starts to cry. my aunt called and said that my grandma was now brain dead, with the machines being the only thing keeping her alive. I didn't react, I froze. I had no emotion, I basically died myself there in that room. for the whole week I was in my house crying my eyes out to the point I didn't have any tears left by the next Sunday. I couldn't eat, I couldn't talk, I couldn't focus, I was a dead. and I still am. She died when I could have been home in time to save her but I wasn't. and 7:56 is the time edged into my brain that it was the last time I saw before we got that damn call....I miss my grandma, and if I could move the heavens, or even trade my own life for hers I would....but my mom needs me. and I'm not leaving her, not now, not ever.
my son is my everything the reason I breath my light in the dark the hardest thing I will ever do is walk away from his daddy there is a hole that will always be there I just learn to live with it
Some say my life can be considered a living hell... abused neglected, i even went psycho for a bit, and i realized the memories still hurt even after a few years since it ended, i see them every day, the people i hurt and who hurt me, in my head, and i have to deal with the pain of it, some days i'm ok, some days i just have to fake it.
Im tierd of letting it hurt.. Ive hurt enough.. Only if he knew how much I am hurt. Why cant I let go? His last words continue to stick with me... " I never loved you" Is what he said.. I spent 9 months with him... Where did I go wrong? Am I not good enough? I miss you!
for me, this son actually means, quite a lot. my life's been great, don't get me wrong. I have a great family, I have an awesome pair of parents...but in a way I use to have three parents. My dad use to be busy all the time, and my mom was depressed to the point she wouldn't move from the couch from the morning til bed time. but my grandma? You could not pull me away from her with out having me bawl my eyes out. she was basically like a second mom. she tucked me in, told me stories, fed me, root for me, gave me advice. if it wasn't for her I'd be twenty times more depressing then anyone in my family. But she was diabetic, so she had a lot of mood swings and bad health issues that slowly took a total on her body. she became over weight which made her health get worse, which in turn got her depressed which made her gain more weight and so on. my mom didn't want that for me so we started to walk together more often, hang out, she even had me try new things. But...one day, on a Sunday in the afternoon we left to go get some snacks, nothing out the ordinary, chips, ice cream, just some goodies for ourselves. we had a fun time just driving around and when we got close to home we even took a detour to chase an ice cream truck. eventually we caught it and bought dome ice cream before heading home. I walk in to the room to greet my grandma, like I always do. then I turn the corner to see my grandma, my role model, my inspiration. on the ground with her face down, I froze and dropped what I had and tried to wake her up, she wouldn't and I called for help. Everyone in the house came in and gave her first aid while my uncle and aunt tried to calm me down from all my shaking. I couldn't breath I felt like I was in some sick nightmare. They called the ambulance and kept her going til they came. I stayed away from everyone and was in a room with my uncle trying to calm down while they took my grandma away. My mom and dad went with them to make sure she was okay and I was left alone at the house by my own request. I needed to think but I think seeing the room in ruins from trying to help my grandma made me go into more of a shocked state. I grab my phone and tried to wait for a text. eventually it became 2, maybe 3 in the morning? I can't remember. all I remember is that my mom and dad came home and they told me she had a heartbeat and that everything would be fine. that calmed me down, but I spent the night on the couch since I didn't want to go into the room. me and my grandma shared the room so it was even more of a shell shocker. anyways, I went to sleep and I had a dream with my grandma, trying to stop her from packing up and moving away, I was crying and asking her where she was going and she gave me this, mixed look. she looked happy, sad, angry, and serious, she looked at me and said she'd visit me again and the rest of the dream faded away. I woke up at like 6, they told me I wasn't going to school since I had a rough night. an hour later my mom gets a call and she starts to cry. my aunt called and said that my grandma was now brain dead, with the machines being the only thing keeping her alive. I didn't react, I froze. I had no emotion, I basically died myself there in that room. for the whole week I was in my house crying my eyes out to the point I didn't have any tears left by the next Sunday. I couldn't eat, I couldn't talk, I couldn't focus, I was a dead. and I still am. She died when I could have been home in time to save her but I wasn't. and 7:56 is the time edged into my brain that it was the last time I saw before we got that damn call....I miss my grandma, and if I could move the heavens, or even trade my own life for hers I would....but my mom needs me. and I'm not leaving her, not now, not ever.
I love this song. It describes me right now. Ive listened to this song about a million times now
i love this song! explains me right now.
This is beautiful sounds like every one's life story at some point in our lives !
this is totally my life song right now.....
my son is my everything the reason I breath my light in the dark the hardest thing I will ever do is walk away from his daddy there is a hole that will always be there I just learn to live with it
Beautiful!
my life right here..
Thank you
Some say my life can be considered a living hell... abused neglected, i even went psycho for a bit, and i realized the memories still hurt even after a few years since it ended, i see them every day, the people i hurt and who hurt me, in my head, and i have to deal with the pain of it, some days i'm ok, some days i just have to fake it.
Love this Song..Awesome,Been relate,
how can i let it hurt when im everyones rock?
how can i falter when im the eldest?
forgive me for taking up your time.
Im tierd of letting it hurt..
Ive hurt enough..
Only if he knew how much I am hurt.
Why cant I let go?
His last words continue to stick with me...
" I never loved you" Is what he said..
I spent 9 months with him...
Where did I go wrong?
Am I not good enough?
I miss you!
omg you like read my mind