Do you or you know someone who's a people pleaser who constantly apologizes for things you shouldn't be sorry about? We hope this video can help you out!
8 Things you should stop saying sorry for 1. For having an opinion 2. For putting your needs first 3. For turning your phone off 4. For showing your feelings 5. For crying 6. For the way you look 7. For not taking other people's advice 8. For apologizing
One of the phrases I hear the most is "don't Apologize" "why are you apologizing?" Etc. and usually my reply to them is im sorry. I'm a never ending loop. I once apologized to someone close to me and they said not to apologize. So I apologized for apologizing. Habitually of course. It started a small fight that led to a long few hours of silence. My apologizing has made those around me more likely to walk on egg shells so I've heard. They're always afraid to set me off on a panic spiral. And I've been trying to work on it.
Once, I threw up at my aunts house. It was because the food that we had gotten from a certain place was undercooked and nobody a realized. I ended up v0m1t1ng on their carpet, and I couldn’t stop apologizing. I got home and continued to v0m1t, still apologizing. My mom sat me down and told me I should never have to apologize for something I can’t control. That changed me.
My therapist had me do an experiment where for 24 hours, I wasn’t allowed to say sorry. After the 24 hrs, I could go and apologize for things I genuinely felt needed an apology. I realized after that 24 hours that I had the impulse to apologize A LOT but looking back, I realized not a single one of those things needed to be apologized for. Really put things into perspective for me!
Timestamp! -0:48 For having an opinion -1:37 For putting your needs first -2:23 For turning your phone off -3:12 For showing your feelings -3:55 For crying -4:40 For the way you look -5:32 For not taking other people's advice -6:10 For apologizing -6:41 How to stop over-apologizing once and for all?
I cant even have a normal day without saying sorry to someone😭 i apologise to literally everything even if its not even that deep and this video helped me
I'm glad this video resonated with you! It sounds like apologizing a lot is something you're working on, and that's totally understandable. It can be a tough habit to break.
“You don’t need to be sorry for crying” I’m just scared if I don’t say it, I feel like he’ll leave me for crying to much. He’s the only one that cares and the only on that listens to me, but I feel like I annoy him too much
When I was learning English, and naturally making mistakes while on it, I used to apoligize so much to my teacher for being wrong. Until during an exam review she told me, "Do not apologize over your mistakes here, you're learning, and it's ok to make mistakes". And I assure you, I was this "." Close to say, "sorry for saying sorry that much". It was then when I realized I had a problem.
You have an amazing teacher. That’s what good teachers are supposed to do. To know your strengths and weaknesses and point them out lightly, while empowering you.
For expressing my feelings, and for crying. These are the two main things I apologize for the most. These are the two things that I limit myself from, and that I constantly pick myself apart for doing. I think it really stems from childhood trauma. I was damned if I did communicate my feelings, but I was damned if I didn’t communicate my feelings.
I'm just glad tv has made things more liberal on that problem. I've had that problem too and its worse for a guy. People ought to be more sensitive to that.
@ you’re absolutely right! The toxic masculinity is just nonsense. Even if you are a man, you’re allowed to cry. If people shamed you for crying as a male, they should be ashamed of themselves.
I say sorry for things all the time. I especially related with saying sorry for taking care of myself first, since I’ve had people who would get mad and make me feel bad for spending time on my needs that it made me feel like it wasn’t worth it. Luckily, I’m no longer friends with those people, but their damage on my self care has been difficult to mend. I’m glad knowing other people have a similar experience of constantly saying sorry, makes me feel like I’m not alone
As a guy, point 4 is something I constantly deal with...😅 But I'm getting better about expressing my emotions, without feeling guilty about it, and not going over board as well! I'm at the point where I'm confident enough to ask it out my crush today! Wish me luck, everyone! 😁👋
That's me I apologize for everything.. .. because dealing with abuse in my upbringing I always was treated like it was my fault because I was the Scapegoat
Someone from a different culture than mine once told me to stop saying sorry and thank you all the time. I asked them what I would say instead, eg. when someone hands me a drink, and they said: Just say "f you" :D It was meant to be a half joke. They explained to me that being overly polite creates distance in a friendship. I thought about it and found it to be true in a way
I feel this SO much. I've only recently been learning not to beat myself up over everything and that I don't _have_ to apologize for everything. It's so much better and more freeing now.
This was helpful. I’m 36 years old, and when I don’t answer my brother’s calls (he’s 38) cause I need me time, I get screamed at and told that he would never not answer a family member’s call. Just makes me feel like garbage.
It's absolutely okay to need time for yourself, even at 36. Your brother's reaction sounds hurtful, and it's not fair to make you feel bad for prioritizing your well-being. Hope you're able to set boundaries, communicate your needs and focus on yourself (self-care). Taking time for yourself and setting boundaries is not a selfish, it's essential for your mental and emotional well-being
This video hits close to home. I had a friend who said that me saying sorry wasnt necessarily comforting. Made me take a step back and shut my mouth. Glad to have this video come up in my subscription feed ❤
You're right. It's important not to apologize unnecessarily, especially if you haven't done anything wrong. Apologizing without cause can diminish the sincerity of apologies when they are truly warranted. Instead, clear communication and empathy can help navigate situations without resorting to unnecessary apologies.
even though i watched the whole thing, i still feel the need to say sorry to the person who made this 😭, can’t believe you guys take the time to make these, i watch all of ‘em
4:29 my classmates are VERY judging and mean, so I swallow tears a lot, which leads to me having to leave school for having to cry, and being scared that they're gonna see me crying, the persona I've build up for the last 7 years in school has almost been broken down multiple times the last month, and it scares me that if, I'm not actually like the persona I've put on, I'll be looked down upon and have to change schools edit: this whole video got a good cry out of me, and i really needed it. Thank you
Thanks for this. Just the other day I was having a really bad night and asked a friend if I could just talk about it for a while, and I kept apologizing because I was afraid of being a nuisance to her. Apologizing for crying, and for taking her time, but she was really reassuring and kind. Then this video dropped and talked about many of the exact things I struggle with... great timing! Anyway, thanks.
Sounds like you have a good friend too! You’re a kind soul as you don’t want to burden others while knowing the necessity to share your feelings with someone you trust.
This video is so needed. I just started to say sorry a lot yesterday to please people at school. Thank you Psych2go! I'll try to say sorry when it's necessary. Perfect timing!
I relate to all of these. I'm not going to apologize for having emotions or not being perfect. And I hate it when someone says, I don't want to hear it. I hate it so much. I just want to say, Well, sorry for not exceeding your expectations, Not! I over apologize when I'm in the wrong.
I definitely relate with #3. I’m in a few group chats, one of which is very active, and they like video chatting a lot, but I’m almost always in the middle of something, whether it’s animating, writing, playing a horror game with one of my other friends, or, like mentioned in this video, just enjoying some alone time. I always feel kinda bad when I don’t pick up since they are younger and I don’t want them to feel like I’m pushing them away, but knowing this might help with that
I used to be over-apologetic until I started practicing self love, setting boundaries and recognising what NOT to apologise for. I am no longer nice, but I am definitely kind.
For some people, it seems like an automatic reaction! That makes it a generic response that's probably not genuine! Again, your points are very valid! Thanks and have a great one!
Ppl are often so upset when you don't immediately notice or answer to What's App stuff these days. I'm not constantly 'connected' but that is ok for me. I'm tired of ppl who criticize everything they don't consider 'good enough' too. I've learned to put my needs first too, since I have to be in good mental health to take care of others.
Timestamps 1). For having an opinion 0:48 2). For putting your needs first 1:37 3). For turning your phone off 2:22 4). For showing your feelings 3:12 5). For crying 3:55 6). For the way you look 4:40 7). For not taking other people's advice 5:32 8). For apologizing 6:10 9). How to stop over-apologizing once and for all 6:40 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I used to have this problem of over apologizing when someone seemed offended. It took years for me to get over that habit. I learned to not care about how other people think about me. Especially in Antisocial media. Then I learned to close my mind off if people stared at me acting disgusted. Sometimes I have to shut my eyes and take deep breaths to calm myself down. Now I think of myself like a fine wine. I'm not for everyone. And not everyone is going to like me. I feel that if they don't like me, that's their problem. Not mine. And I don't have to care or be concerned about it anymore.
Experiences with conflict: Basically never being in a position where I'm allowed to be in the right. Whether it's because I'm at a job, in school or whatever, the balance of power is always in favor of the other person, and I'll only make things worse by expressing anything other than compliance. It doesn't matter if the other person is in the wrong, choosing to assert anything in my favor will only escalate the problem, which is a net loss for me.
Thanks for this, I had a mental breakdown today and this really helped. I emberessingly lost to someone despite of my advantage in the game I dedicated my life to which usually doesn't bother me, but I was frustrated and I felt the worst feeling I ever experienced: I was envy of them. I told them about it as sort of a compliment, but I was deeply disappointed of myself on one hand, for losing despite my advantage, on the other hand for being jealous. It is so degrading to envy others I was mentally whipping myself all night and needed some serious self compassion. I just wanted to disappear and boil in my own shame for a bit. I am better know, but I am craving other's validation like I never did before.
I have accepted my simplicity...... What I want for the rest of my life, on many different levels..... The world is a big place, I ll find people who need what I can give and share..... It gives me joy and bliss..... Sometimes I feel iam not that far away Also I appreciate my friends more..... From my childhood..... When we talk we laugh, when someone cries, we hear him ❤❤evi
sometimes I feel the need to apologize for things a lot because I fear the possibility of others calling me rude for, well, not apologizing. I don’t know if this is common or not 🤷♀️
You're voice reminds me of my sister She is the only one I open up to about myself so it make me very comfortable listening to you when she isn't with me So thank you "sister"
all I wanted as a kid was to make the world a better place... to be happy, through people I truly care about sometimes looking out someone Elses needs takes away from your needs and make it hard to see hope as things get really hard, for instance I have a crush on someone and I'm trying to stay strong and hold onto hope that I will get them but my internal monolog is too representative of my bullies beliefs who I felt trapped by, I stand high with my beliefs as they represent a world I want, there will always by problems but I just want hope for myself which internal bully wants to keep from me, it's like I don't know how to do it by myself. it's been the most difficult 8 years of my life, but I fully intend to continue the fight for her, I just need the will in my lowest moments.
Hey phych, I have 1 week of school left, I'm in middle school 6th grade, and I've been really sad lately. Can you make a video on how to make more friends, or what you can do over the summer to get more friends, because I just can't stop being so sad that I didn't make much friends this year, or no one really liked me. I suffer from body dysphoria, and my confidence is really low. I just need more videos on how to get more friends or people to like me next year. My body dysphoria is improving but my confidence is the lowest point right now, and at the end. Please Psych😭🙏. Since I did better on my end of the year test, and my friends didn't, I'm scared I will have nobody to talk to 😢, because that is was happened when I was coming in 6th grade, I did good on the end of the year test in 5th grade, and my friends didn't. So I kind of had to make new friends which sucked, I REALLY don't want this to happen in 7th I've been so scared about this. I also have minor depression and I am getting therapy it's going away thankfully 😌, but I'm feeling very very lonely, to the point in coming home crying on how I have nobody to talk to. So I am craving for friends 👭because I can't STAND being alone, it hurts so horrible, I hate it. All I'm asking is for a video on my situation because I know for a fact I'm not the only kid out there that dose NOT want to be alone in 7th grade, 🙏please.❤
Apologising out of fear. Ya. Being constantly criticised (for nothing). Also, saying thank you for nothing. Great points. Most of this is due to trauma, for me, - from religious groups, family and narcisstic friends and colleagues. I'm busy dumping all of them (and finding new friends and family). Besides over apologising, there are other traumas. I actually suffer from short term memory loss. It's getting better. And anhodesia. Also getting better.
My brother called me narcissistic because he said i only think about myself. And even my nana (my grandmother) said i should put others first, and i agreed with her.
Also, it was my brothers birthday and we were in a walmart and i was just dancing in the checkout line because i was bored, then my nana told me to stop since there was a camera in front of us (security camera) and she said "what would you think if someone saw you and laughed? Do you think that would be okay!?" I almost cried but i hid it. (I cried multiple times during that shopping trip and my parents weren't there so they didnt see it and they dont even know...) Edit: i thought about it more and i did cry in the line but she didnt see me, and i didnt really talk to her the rest of the day but i still talked to her and told her thanks for the food...
I am also a furry and thats how i express myself! But people at shcool dont understand that....because they say "furries think theyre animals" but some might but i dont and actually i wore a tail to school and onve this girl who has been tormenting me since day one came over and immediately left and came back over wuth like ten other people that HATE me and they were saying "FURRY omg its a furry 😳 shes actually a furry ? 😂" and i almost about puched them in the face
I feel very relatable with this. Sometimes i said sorry when sometimes wasn't necessary. Also i really love that you're starting to suggest solutions after identifying that you have most of these signs. It's a helpful reminder. Very cool video ^^ ❤
I made so many people stayed away for me because of this, now, my close friends also feel bad whenever they talked to me. Due to this, I think it is also the best for me stayed away from them.
As an autistic person who survived emotional ab*se: I used to have such a bad habit of over-apologizing due to trauma! No joke, I used to be that person who would say sorry for saying sorry too much! 🤣 But this is why I love the internet phrase 'Sorry not sorry' ; I so often use it to emphasize me making a point about something. I sometimes even use it in real life as well; I'll use it if I have to tell my friend a harsh truth or break some bad news to them ( her date showing signs of being a toxic person, her BF cheating, etc.). In such a case, I'll often just lead with either 'Sorry not sorry' or 'I hate to say it, but'. Like, the 'sorry not sorry' phrase is really the best of two worlds if you ask me; I don't fully have to leave the inherent politeness of the word 'sorry' behind if I want to make a point, but I can still be unapologetic about what I'm saying in the end.
I used to apologize for everything i done like 5 years ago. I was literally apologizing for saying sorry too much. I can't say that i'm completely healed. I went to therapy, it helped a lot but i stopped going to therapy (i kinda had to cuz they changed their major) and now i feel like i'm not apologizing when i need to. Like when i'm arguing with my friends i'm automatically defending myself even if i'm wrong.
Definitely something that has been a topic for conversation within my group of people. I'm going to share this with them! Thank you for this video! This is also something that I have been discussing in therapy lately as well!
Thank you for that Video. I am so deep into overapologizing I even apologize when I'm in the middle of a sentence and I have to sneez, I need to stop that! At that point it's more of a set phrase but it is my first impulse to apologize, when something I'm doing isn't how it's supossed to go because I am taking to much time (not sure how to explain it better?) it's kind of hard to stop doing that impulse.
@@Psych2go Honestly, I did it automatically and often felt guilty. Sometimes I tried not to apologize for everything, but I didn't think of it as a good thing and I felt resistance later
I think I apologize a reasonable amount...now. I did have one friend who I think was offended when I disagreed with her about not apologizing for being late or not showing up to things.
I apologise a lot and have always been silent, hiding questions because I think it’s stupid. But often .. the only reason I’m alive is one question I asked one night, the one time I asked to go to the bathroom is the only reason a mental breakdown saved me from ending… everything. Edit: I have recently and as a child, do it out of fear. Since during Highschool I needed to live with my uncle and aunt, I never felt safe with my uncle and he has been in legal trouble many times. The only reason I didn’t die during my Highschool years was the toilet excuse, same as the recent incident. I use the excuse to hide my emotions, even from family.
It's completely understandable to feel hesitant to speak up sometimes. Many people apologize a lot or hold back questions due to fear of judgment. But your story shows the power of your voice, even when it feels small.
During Highschool years my uncle just said “I’m the adult your the child”. Now I think back to that, “I haven’t been arrested for drunk driving or assault and YOU have.”
I caught myself for apologizing for not being able to put in the dinner to go order when i was going for an echo ekg which is in the concept of personal physical or mental health unneeded, and the root cause was the toxic mentally and verbally abusive dad that make me felt that way. I did bring this up with my therapist and she said when it comes to health and all health should come first therefore it is good that you catch that because you should not be the one to be apologetic for it should be your dad who should do that.
Hi Psy, I know someone who always says sorry and thank you, that's me. 😅 Not only that, but I have a habit of always bowing down to others, even the person who opened the barrier gate when I drove past. What's funny is that the window tint is black. No one can see me but I bow down to them every time. 😂 sometimes I wonder why I did it. You're not the first for saying this to me. Thank you for reminding me.
1:23 an example of this was when I said I didn’t like seaweed to my friend and she said she doesn’t like pickles. I like pickles and she likes seaweed.
It makes me feel really better knowing I’m being related too exactly just like in this video, it’s just unfortunately when people still tell me not to apologize when they’re showing me disappointment or anger for something little I do, it just makes it hard on me, and makes me feel the need to apologize more. Basically in shorter terms, I get told not to apologize a lot for a mistake I make, meanwhile it feels like those same people are basically expecting me to be perfect
It sounds incredibly frustrating to be told not to apologize, yet still feel pressure to be perfect. It's a confusing situation. Some ideas you should know: there's a difference between between apologies and taking responsibility, communicate with the people who matter to you and focus on your growth. Meaning, instead of dwelling on apologies, focus on learning from your mistake and becoming a better version of yourself. True friends will support you through your stumbles and celebrate your successes. Ultimately you're not alone!
Hello, I don’t know if you take video requests or suggestions but do you think you could possibly make a video about Narcissistic Personality Disorder? I know you have made a lot about narcissists already but they are all for the benefit of the person dealing with a narcissist rather than the narcissist itself. It’s very hard for us narcissists to find resources for self-betterment because the disorder is so stigmatized (most of the results you see when search it up talk about “how to get back at the narcissist”, “how to torture the narcissist”, “why the narcissist will never change”). I think it would be very helpful if you guys were to make a video to help people from our point of view to not only raise awareness and understanding, but also provide us with a way to cope with it and ways we could healthily integrate ourselves in society. You have a lot of influence and I think it would really help if we had something that empathized with us; like treating the problem rather than the symptoms.
It typically stems from those who have been abused and insulted for everything. In time their mind thinks that everything they do is wrong. Since they're ridiculed and criticized for so long about everything they Do. It stems from abuse and creates victim mentality.
I started over-apologising after we argued and broke up with my closest friend. I guess it is because i never said "sorry" to her, so I compensate for it by apologising for almost everything
Yet my parents want me to apologize to them for demonstrating that us, children, are feeling hurt by the way they treat us with harsh criticism even at small mistakes. My stepfather flat out told me that my feelings don't matter and that I'm being "too sensitive"
I do this but it soon faded away. But the times where I don't apologize immense guilt washes over me and I feel like I won't be able to breathe until I forget that certain moment. And it's bothering me so much cause I freeze because of it, making them annoyed at me or me annoyed at myself...
Do you or you know someone who's a people pleaser who constantly apologizes for things you shouldn't be sorry about? We hope this video can help you out!
I am😅
I just want a massage tbh
No
@@noobzito2 Same
@@noobzito2same
8 Things you should stop saying sorry for
1. For having an opinion
2. For putting your needs first
3. For turning your phone off
4. For showing your feelings
5. For crying
6. For the way you look
7. For not taking other people's advice
8. For apologizing
Can't disagree with any of this; but let it be realized they're also survival mechanisms.
This is absolute FACTS! One should especially not be sorry for showing your feelings or crying. It's just showing basic human emotions!!!
@@RedFella0115i always try to hide my sadness, i mean, if i cry everyone would look at me and judge me and I would be the center of attention!
Don't say sorry for being yourself
@@wendyphipps7865 Absolutely!
"Isn't it selfish for them to make you put yourself last?" Wow, I needed to hear that.
Yeah
I apologize at everything, like, I’m accostumed of saying sorry because of everything, this video is for me
This video is for us.
Sorry.
Damn ...
same i say sorry to salaar, Because he was nice
Do you know someone who also says sorry a lot?
One of the phrases I hear the most is "don't Apologize" "why are you apologizing?" Etc. and usually my reply to them is im sorry. I'm a never ending loop. I once apologized to someone close to me and they said not to apologize. So I apologized for apologizing. Habitually of course. It started a small fight that led to a long few hours of silence. My apologizing has made those around me more likely to walk on egg shells so I've heard. They're always afraid to set me off on a panic spiral. And I've been trying to work on it.
Once, I threw up at my aunts house. It was because the food that we had gotten from a certain place was undercooked and nobody a realized. I ended up v0m1t1ng on their carpet, and I couldn’t stop apologizing. I got home and continued to v0m1t, still apologizing. My mom sat me down and told me I should never have to apologize for something I can’t control. That changed me.
My therapist had me do an experiment where for 24 hours, I wasn’t allowed to say sorry. After the 24 hrs, I could go and apologize for things I genuinely felt needed an apology. I realized after that 24 hours that I had the impulse to apologize A LOT but looking back, I realized not a single one of those things needed to be apologized for. Really put things into perspective for me!
Timestamp!
-0:48 For having an opinion
-1:37 For putting your needs first
-2:23 For turning your phone off
-3:12 For showing your feelings
-3:55 For crying
-4:40 For the way you look
-5:32 For not taking other people's advice
-6:10 For apologizing
-6:41 How to stop over-apologizing once and for all?
Thanks for this 😊😊😊
Some people apologize for silly stuff but never apologize when they really do something that hurts
Some people don't even apologize! 😐
I've seen an awful lot of insensitivity. .
Yes, my seven year old nephew, asked me why I always say "I'm sorry." Thanks for helpful insight.God Bless.🙏
You are so welcome Many people find themselves apologizing more than necessary. Hope this video can help you out!
Wow
I cant even have a normal day without saying sorry to someone😭 i apologise to literally everything even if its not even that deep and this video helped me
I'm glad this video resonated with you! It sounds like apologizing a lot is something you're working on, and that's totally understandable. It can be a tough habit to break.
“You don’t need to be sorry for crying” I’m just scared if I don’t say it, I feel like he’ll leave me for crying to much. He’s the only one that cares and the only on that listens to me, but I feel like I annoy him too much
When I was learning English, and naturally making mistakes while on it, I used to apoligize so much to my teacher for being wrong.
Until during an exam review she told me, "Do not apologize over your mistakes here, you're learning, and it's ok to make mistakes".
And I assure you, I was this "." Close to say, "sorry for saying sorry that much".
It was then when I realized I had a problem.
You have an amazing teacher. That’s what good teachers are supposed to do. To know your strengths and weaknesses and point them out lightly, while empowering you.
For expressing my feelings, and for crying. These are the two main things I apologize for the most. These are the two things that I limit myself from, and that I constantly pick myself apart for doing. I think it really stems from childhood trauma. I was damned if I did communicate my feelings, but I was damned if I didn’t communicate my feelings.
I'm just glad tv has made things more liberal on that problem. I've had that problem too and its worse for a guy. People ought to be more sensitive to that.
@ you’re absolutely right! The toxic masculinity is just nonsense. Even if you are a man, you’re allowed to cry. If people shamed you for crying as a male, they should be ashamed of themselves.
I say sorry for things all the time. I especially related with saying sorry for taking care of myself first, since I’ve had people who would get mad and make me feel bad for spending time on my needs that it made me feel like it wasn’t worth it. Luckily, I’m no longer friends with those people, but their damage on my self care has been difficult to mend. I’m glad knowing other people have a similar experience of constantly saying sorry, makes me feel like I’m not alone
As a guy, point 4 is something I constantly deal with...😅 But I'm getting better about expressing my emotions, without feeling guilty about it, and not going over board as well! I'm at the point where I'm confident enough to ask it out my crush today! Wish me luck, everyone! 😁👋
My co workers used to ask me what I was sorry for when I didn't have a reason. Thank you for making this video
That's me I apologize for everything.. .. because dealing with abuse in my upbringing I always was treated like it was my fault because I was the Scapegoat
Someone from a different culture than mine once told me to stop saying sorry and thank you all the time. I asked them what I would say instead, eg. when someone hands me a drink, and they said: Just say "f you" :D It was meant to be a half joke. They explained to me that being overly polite creates distance in a friendship. I thought about it and found it to be true in a way
I feel this SO much. I've only recently been learning not to beat myself up over everything and that I don't _have_ to apologize for everything.
It's so much better and more freeing now.
As a Canadian, I feel called out. 😅
Thanks psych I’m now seeing why everyone I talk to thinks that I need to cut my family out of my life
What was the insight you gain from this video?
Man, I could soooooooo relate to the points about apologizing for how I look and ESPECIALLY about apologizing for crying. Great video, Psych2Go!
This was helpful. I’m 36 years old, and when I don’t answer my brother’s calls (he’s 38) cause I need me time, I get screamed at and told that he would never not answer a family member’s call. Just makes me feel like garbage.
It's absolutely okay to need time for yourself, even at 36. Your brother's reaction sounds hurtful, and it's not fair to make you feel bad for prioritizing your well-being. Hope you're able to set boundaries, communicate your needs and focus on yourself (self-care). Taking time for yourself and setting boundaries is not a selfish, it's essential for your mental and emotional well-being
This video hits close to home. I had a friend who said that me saying sorry wasnt necessarily comforting. Made me take a step back and shut my mouth. Glad to have this video come up in my subscription feed ❤
You're right. It's important not to apologize unnecessarily, especially if you haven't done anything wrong. Apologizing without cause can diminish the sincerity of apologies when they are truly warranted. Instead, clear communication and empathy can help navigate situations without resorting to unnecessary apologies.
People apologizing means that people around them were dickheads.
even though i watched the whole thing, i still feel the need to say sorry to the person who made this 😭, can’t believe you guys take the time to make these, i watch all of ‘em
That’s me everyday. I say sorry for so much. It’s just natural for me
Fr
What are some things you say sorry for?
Hitting bullseyes with this one. I feel like mine comes from a deep seeded insecurity about everything.
4:29 my classmates are VERY judging and mean, so I swallow tears a lot, which leads to me having to leave school for having to cry, and being scared that they're gonna see me crying, the persona I've build up for the last 7 years in school has almost been broken down multiple times the last month, and it scares me that if, I'm not actually like the persona I've put on, I'll be looked down upon and have to change schools
edit: this whole video got a good cry out of me, and i really needed it. Thank you
.
I feel called out within the first two minutes…
Me too
Thanks for this. Just the other day I was having a really bad night and asked a friend if I could just talk about it for a while, and I kept apologizing because I was afraid of being a nuisance to her. Apologizing for crying, and for taking her time, but she was really reassuring and kind. Then this video dropped and talked about many of the exact things I struggle with... great timing! Anyway, thanks.
Sounds like you have a good friend too! You’re a kind soul as you don’t want to burden others while knowing the necessity to share your feelings with someone you trust.
This video is so needed. I just started to say sorry a lot yesterday to please people at school. Thank you Psych2go! I'll try to say sorry when it's necessary. Perfect timing!
I relate to all of these. I'm not going to apologize for having emotions or not being perfect. And I hate it when someone says, I don't want to hear it. I hate it so much. I just want to say, Well, sorry for not exceeding your expectations, Not! I over apologize when I'm in the wrong.
I definitely relate with #3. I’m in a few group chats, one of which is very active, and they like video chatting a lot, but I’m almost always in the middle of something, whether it’s animating, writing, playing a horror game with one of my other friends, or, like mentioned in this video, just enjoying some alone time. I always feel kinda bad when I don’t pick up since they are younger and I don’t want them to feel like I’m pushing them away, but knowing this might help with that
I used to be over-apologetic until I started practicing self love, setting boundaries and recognising what NOT to apologise for. I am no longer nice, but I am definitely kind.
For some people, it seems like an automatic reaction! That makes it a generic response that's probably not genuine! Again, your points are very valid! Thanks and have a great one!
Ppl are often so upset when you don't immediately notice or answer to What's App stuff these days. I'm not constantly 'connected' but that is ok for me. I'm tired of ppl who criticize everything they don't consider 'good enough' too. I've learned to put my needs first too, since I have to be in good mental health to take care of others.
Timestamps
1). For having an opinion 0:48
2). For putting your needs first 1:37
3). For turning your phone off 2:22
4). For showing your feelings 3:12
5). For crying 3:55
6). For the way you look 4:40
7). For not taking other people's advice 5:32
8). For apologizing 6:10
9). How to stop over-apologizing once and for all 6:40
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I used to have this problem of over apologizing when someone seemed offended. It took years for me to get over that habit. I learned to not care about how other people think about me. Especially in Antisocial media. Then I learned to close my mind off if people stared at me acting disgusted. Sometimes I have to shut my eyes and take deep breaths to calm myself down. Now I think of myself like a fine
wine. I'm not for everyone. And not everyone is going to like me. I feel that if they don't like me, that's their problem. Not mine. And I don't have to care or be concerned about it anymore.
Experiences with conflict: Basically never being in a position where I'm allowed to be in the right. Whether it's because I'm at a job, in school or whatever, the balance of power is always in favor of the other person, and I'll only make things worse by expressing anything other than compliance. It doesn't matter if the other person is in the wrong, choosing to assert anything in my favor will only escalate the problem, which is a net loss for me.
Thanks for this, I had a mental breakdown today and this really helped.
I emberessingly lost to someone despite of my advantage in the game I dedicated my life to which usually doesn't bother me, but I was frustrated and I felt the worst feeling I ever experienced: I was envy of them.
I told them about it as sort of a compliment, but I was deeply disappointed of myself on one hand, for losing despite my advantage, on the other hand for being jealous.
It is so degrading to envy others I was mentally whipping myself all night and needed some serious self compassion.
I just wanted to disappear and boil in my own shame for a bit.
I am better know, but I am craving other's validation like I never did before.
I have accepted my simplicity...... What I want for the rest of my life, on many different levels..... The world is a big place, I ll find people who need what I can give and share..... It gives me joy and bliss..... Sometimes I feel iam not that far away
Also I appreciate my friends more..... From my childhood..... When we talk we laugh, when someone cries, we hear him ❤❤evi
Ngl I wanted to know what to stop apologizing for. Ended up crying myself to sleep bcuz I realized that I relate to these all
I have done this since i was a kid. I'm working on it.
That's fantastic that you're working on it! It takes time to break habits, but you're definitely on the right track by watching this video!
sometimes I feel the need to apologize for things a lot because I fear the possibility of others calling me rude for, well, not apologizing. I don’t know if this is common or not 🤷♀️
You're voice reminds me of my sister
She is the only one I open up to about myself so it make me very comfortable listening to you when she isn't with me
So thank you "sister"
people get mad at me for saying sorry a lot. i now say goofy things instead
all I wanted as a kid was to make the world a better place... to be happy, through people I truly care about sometimes looking out someone Elses needs takes away from your needs and make it hard to see hope as things get really hard, for instance I have a crush on someone and I'm trying to stay strong and hold onto hope that I will get them but my internal monolog is too representative of my bullies beliefs who I felt trapped by, I stand high with my beliefs as they represent a world I want, there will always by problems but I just want hope for myself which internal bully wants to keep from me, it's like I don't know how to do it by myself. it's been the most difficult 8 years of my life, but I fully intend to continue the fight for her, I just need the will in my lowest moments.
Hey phych, I have 1 week of school left, I'm in middle school 6th grade, and I've been really sad lately. Can you make a video on how to make more friends, or what you can do over the summer to get more friends, because I just can't stop being so sad that I didn't make much friends this year, or no one really liked me. I suffer from body dysphoria, and my confidence is really low. I just need more videos on how to get more friends or people to like me next year. My body dysphoria is improving but my confidence is the lowest point right now, and at the end. Please Psych😭🙏. Since I did better on my end of the year test, and my friends didn't, I'm scared I will have nobody to talk to 😢, because that is was happened when I was coming in 6th grade, I did good on the end of the year test in 5th grade, and my friends didn't. So I kind of had to make new friends which sucked, I REALLY don't want this to happen in 7th I've been so scared about this. I also have minor depression and I am getting therapy it's going away thankfully 😌, but I'm feeling very very lonely, to the point in coming home crying on how I have nobody to talk to. So I am craving for friends 👭because I can't STAND being alone, it hurts so horrible, I hate it. All I'm asking is for a video on my situation because I know for a fact I'm not the only kid out there that dose NOT want to be alone in 7th grade, 🙏please.❤
I worry a lot about unintentional rude things i did. Sometimes to way out excess.
Apologising out of fear. Ya. Being constantly criticised (for nothing). Also, saying thank you for nothing. Great points. Most of this is due to trauma, for me, - from religious groups, family and narcisstic friends and colleagues. I'm busy dumping all of them (and finding new friends and family). Besides over apologising, there are other traumas. I actually suffer from short term memory loss. It's getting better. And anhodesia. Also getting better.
I am literally crying when watching the video! Thanks for making this video!
My brother called me narcissistic because he said i only think about myself. And even my nana (my grandmother) said i should put others first, and i agreed with her.
Also, it was my brothers birthday and we were in a walmart and i was just dancing in the checkout line because i was bored, then my nana told me to stop since there was a camera in front of us (security camera) and she said "what would you think if someone saw you and laughed? Do you think that would be okay!?" I almost cried but i hid it. (I cried multiple times during that shopping trip and my parents weren't there so they didnt see it and they dont even know...)
Edit: i thought about it more and i did cry in the line but she didnt see me, and i didnt really talk to her the rest of the day but i still talked to her and told her thanks for the food...
I am also a furry and thats how i express myself! But people at shcool dont understand that....because they say "furries think theyre animals" but some might but i dont and actually i wore a tail to school and onve this girl who has been tormenting me since day one came over and immediately left and came back over wuth like ten other people that HATE me and they were saying "FURRY omg its a furry 😳 shes actually a furry ? 😂" and i almost about puched them in the face
Could you make one on how not to say sorry all the time or why we might do it?
I feel very relatable with this. Sometimes i said sorry when sometimes wasn't necessary. Also i really love that you're starting to suggest solutions after identifying that you have most of these signs. It's a helpful reminder. Very cool video ^^ ❤
Thanks
Thank you for your extra support! We hope this video can help you out!
I made so many people stayed away for me because of this, now, my close friends also feel bad whenever they talked to me. Due to this, I think it is also the best for me stayed away from them.
There's nothing wrong with being kind how ever it should never be mistaken for weaknesses
As an autistic person who survived emotional ab*se: I used to have such a bad habit of over-apologizing due to trauma! No joke, I used to be that person who would say sorry for saying sorry too much! 🤣 But this is why I love the internet phrase 'Sorry not sorry' ; I so often use it to emphasize me making a point about something. I sometimes even use it in real life as well; I'll use it if I have to tell my friend a harsh truth or break some bad news to them ( her date showing signs of being a toxic person, her BF cheating, etc.). In such a case, I'll often just lead with either 'Sorry not sorry' or 'I hate to say it, but'. Like, the 'sorry not sorry' phrase is really the best of two worlds if you ask me; I don't fully have to leave the inherent politeness of the word 'sorry' behind if I want to make a point, but I can still be unapologetic about what I'm saying in the end.
I used to apologize for everything i done like 5 years ago. I was literally apologizing for saying sorry too much. I can't say that i'm completely healed. I went to therapy, it helped a lot but i stopped going to therapy (i kinda had to cuz they changed their major) and now i feel like i'm not apologizing when i need to. Like when i'm arguing with my friends i'm automatically defending myself even if i'm wrong.
Definitely something that has been a topic for conversation within my group of people. I'm going to share this with them! Thank you for this video! This is also something that I have been discussing in therapy lately as well!
i love you guys for letting me know about every issue i got and how to solve it...
Thank you for that Video. I am so deep into overapologizing I even apologize when I'm in the middle of a sentence and I have to sneez, I need to stop that! At that point it's more of a set phrase but it is my first impulse to apologize, when something I'm doing isn't how it's supossed to go because I am taking to much time (not sure how to explain it better?) it's kind of hard to stop doing that impulse.
Thank you for reminder! Recently completly forgot about it so this video is very helpful 🥺
Glad that this video came at the right time. How has May been for you so far?
@@Psych2go Honestly, I did it automatically and often felt guilty. Sometimes I tried not to apologize for everything, but I didn't think of it as a good thing and I felt resistance later
I am truly sorry for all the things that I have done two years ago… 😢
I think I apologize a reasonable amount...now.
I did have one friend who I think was offended when I disagreed with her about not apologizing for being late or not showing up to things.
just gotta swallow your pride but its hard to swallow a pill if someone dont care for your feelings...
I apologise a lot and have always been silent, hiding questions because I think it’s stupid. But often .. the only reason I’m alive is one question I asked one night, the one time I asked to go to the bathroom is the only reason a mental breakdown saved me from ending… everything.
Edit: I have recently and as a child, do it out of fear. Since during Highschool I needed to live with my uncle and aunt, I never felt safe with my uncle and he has been in legal trouble many times. The only reason I didn’t die during my Highschool years was the toilet excuse, same as the recent incident. I use the excuse to hide my emotions, even from family.
It's completely understandable to feel hesitant to speak up sometimes. Many people apologize a lot or hold back questions due to fear of judgment. But your story shows the power of your voice, even when it feels small.
During Highschool years my uncle just said “I’m the adult your the child”. Now I think back to that, “I haven’t been arrested for drunk driving or assault and YOU have.”
I caught myself for apologizing for not being able to put in the dinner to go order when i was going for an echo ekg which is in the concept of personal physical or mental health unneeded, and the root cause was the toxic mentally and verbally abusive dad that make me felt that way. I did bring this up with my therapist and she said when it comes to health and all health should come first therefore it is good that you catch that because you should not be the one to be apologetic for it should be your dad who should do that.
Hi Psy, I know someone who always says sorry and thank you, that's me. 😅
Not only that, but I have a habit of always bowing down to others, even the person who opened the barrier gate when I drove past. What's funny is that the window tint is black. No one can see me but I bow down to them every time. 😂 sometimes I wonder why I did it.
You're not the first for saying this to me. Thank you for reminding me.
I myself have done numerous times.
Me too.
Thank you for encouraging us to be ourselves. Your voice is so encouraging to do for ourselves what is not anyone else's responsibility but our own.
I'm sorry for doing these
Very constructive without being enabling.
me when my friend apologises after me telling them to stop apologising:
I say sorry so much my parents and little sister find it annoying and sometimes get mad at me for it
People who apologize too much even at small things or mistakes is a sign of trauma like it said in this video because they "always get blamed" before
I actually relate to it very much like I mean everything matches and I already go to psychologist who said that I have low self esteem...
I genuinely feel called out by this video, great advice tho
when people say sorry I say it back as a reflex😭
1:23 an example of this was when I said I didn’t like seaweed to my friend and she said she doesn’t like pickles. I like pickles and she likes seaweed.
12 million people have subscribed to this channel dam kind of shows that life is a jerk
We're here to help!
@@Psych2gothank you
Good, I don't apologize for any of these things.
It makes me feel really better knowing I’m being related too exactly just like in this video, it’s just unfortunately when people still tell me not to apologize when they’re showing me disappointment or anger for something little I do, it just makes it hard on me, and makes me feel the need to apologize more.
Basically in shorter terms, I get told not to apologize a lot for a mistake I make, meanwhile it feels like those same people are basically expecting me to be perfect
It sounds incredibly frustrating to be told not to apologize, yet still feel pressure to be perfect. It's a confusing situation. Some ideas you should know: there's a difference between between apologies and taking responsibility, communicate with the people who matter to you and focus on your growth. Meaning, instead of dwelling on apologies, focus on learning from your mistake and becoming a better version of yourself. True friends will support you through your stumbles and celebrate your successes. Ultimately you're not alone!
@@Psych2go thank you so much, I’ll remember that
Feeling bad about turning off my phone really resonated with me 😭😭
Hello, I don’t know if you take video requests or suggestions but do you think you could possibly make a video about Narcissistic Personality Disorder? I know you have made a lot about narcissists already but they are all for the benefit of the person dealing with a narcissist rather than the narcissist itself. It’s very hard for us narcissists to find resources for self-betterment because the disorder is so stigmatized (most of the results you see when search it up talk about “how to get back at the narcissist”, “how to torture the narcissist”, “why the narcissist will never change”). I think it would be very helpful if you guys were to make a video to help people from our point of view to not only raise awareness and understanding, but also provide us with a way to cope with it and ways we could healthily integrate ourselves in society. You have a lot of influence and I think it would really help if we had something that empathized with us; like treating the problem rather than the symptoms.
Being over apologetic because of trauma? Yeah. I'm working on not doing that anymore.
Stop saying sorry for things that aren’t your fault.
I’m sorry for saying sorry
It typically stems from those who have been abused and insulted for everything. In time their mind thinks that everything they do is wrong. Since they're ridiculed and criticized for so long about everything they Do. It stems from abuse and creates victim mentality.
I NEEDED this video tytyty
Also i sometimes defend myself then feel guilty for that. Its like a dilemma. I feel guilty either way.
I felt so calm watching this donno why….
Feel much better.... Already ❤❤
I started over-apologising after we argued and broke up with my closest friend. I guess it is because i never said "sorry" to her, so I compensate for it by apologising for almost everything
Yet my parents want me to apologize to them for demonstrating that us, children, are feeling hurt by the way they treat us with harsh criticism even at small mistakes.
My stepfather flat out told me that my feelings don't matter and that I'm being "too sensitive"
I do this but it soon faded away. But the times where I don't apologize immense guilt washes over me and I feel like I won't be able to breathe until I forget that certain moment. And it's bothering me so much cause I freeze because of it, making them annoyed at me or me annoyed at myself...
I just stay quiet, I only say sorry if I bump into someone or say something wrong
I've often apologized quite often even if I've never been in the wrong, be it verbal or scenario wise.