Thank you so much! I have recently become a foster carer to an 8 yr old girl. We are over the "honeymoon " period and she no longer does what i ask her to or listen to what I'm saying. She generally says things like "I'm bored" or "you're boring me". I have learnt all about Safer Caring and Therapeutic Parenting but i still struggle and end up yelling at her. Your videos are so inspiring and helpful and i feel very grateful that i stumbled across them. Please keep posting more advice. Thank you sir 😊
I see the difference in behaving with children when I am in Greece. There is almost no screaming with children, parents are good in self control, and I never saw children screaming in the supermarket "I waaant that chocolate". But here in western countries I think also we parents have too much stress, with job, relationships etc, and we kind of lost the simple rules to build a good connection to our children. Thank you for reminding us 🙏 you are a good mentor
U don t even imagine how much you helped me with your videos, I was desperately looking for guidance and answers and With the will of Allah I came across your video 💕
Mourtaza badri very nice advice for our child but the condition are not equal for two parents and then is not possible to show our child the best way for the future
I have probably spend about 4 or 5 hours over the last week just sitting there watch my younger son fingerboard. Listened to him explain everything about how he built his small course and what tricks he is doing, how his friends do certain things, what he would like to build... Even though this can be boring as heck, After a while he starts talking about other things, school, friends, his dreams, life goals, and then it goes to fears, doubts, and his future.... I don't really say much back, just listen. My older son at 15 is into reading philosophy, and I will listen for hours at a time some nights just listening to him give his thoughts. And it can be boring too, but I would not trade this for anything. They are both now teenagers of 13 and 15... And even with my older son I try to stay minimal in my responses and questions. I let them guide the conversation.. At some point usually a few days later one of them will just come and sit next to me and ask me what I am doing.. And that is my indication he would now like to listen.... Easier said than done, but its really as simple as that. And it pretty much must be done from day one... The older they get, the harder it is to start, and damn near impossible by the time they are in their early teens.
@@MurtazaBadri Thankyou for the kind response. I basically decided I wanted to do the opposite of what my parents did. I mean, I guess I turned out ok, but I feel somehow damaged.. I want my kids to grow up and turn out ok without feeling like that. And in the end I think it will allow them to live a life without hangups and avoiding some of the depression me and my siblings had to endure.
@@wishusknight3009 I here you and can emphasize. I would like to suggest you join the Alive & Fearless Tribe ... a group of crazy people like you who are on a mission to create a happy, healthy and regret-free life and help others create the same.
Sir your videos are very inspiring to me I have two daughters and a son he is of 11years if he saw his cousins are having something to play or any gadgets he start cry he always say I don't have such things etc even though he have so many things
by talking and explaining that he might not get what everyone has and that he needs to appreciate what he has.... the other way you can do is say.... mom has taken a note of what you want and when the time come mom will buy you that toy.
Thanks for sharing your ideas.. I have 3½ years old son. He is very smart in his all activity. He goes to school & deeniyat.. I feel bad that I have started yelling, & hitting sometimes badly due to family & office issues & due frustration I become over aggressive on my kid..Just because of this behavior my kid also become just like me aggressive & naughty, also not listening of me & his dad.. Sometimes back he was behaving very nicely no concern I had.. But now I now I am tense so much. I heard about your golden 3 rules no yelling, no hitting, & no abusing him with bad words. Inshallah I will adapt it immediately.. But I have a question that if I get change in front of him I will control myself, I will follow all your 6 rules but it will change my kids behavior or he will remind me my aggression or my bad behavior.. I hope he will get forget my past nature after I get change..Please suggest..
Stop hitting your child and make the changes in your behavior to influence your child. he will forget the past but you need to make the changes first. If and when he changes is not sure and has no time limit. so make sure you do your change and he will change when the time comes for him.
Please guide me sir my elder son his age is 11 years he beat his sister's younger sisters every time I am so very about this please guide me what can I do God bless you thank you.
When I am in self control, and then request my 9 yrs son , politely and lovingly to do something, he doesn't bother, but when I start becoming serious, he responds... Can you give your opinion on this...
because he is use to responding when you get angry so he does not when you are calm. You need to stop being serious and learn to communicate with love and respect. Children are not obliged to do everything the parents want them to do.... they are not robots. they also have feelings, needs and desires.
I completely agree with you. I like your videos. I request you to help me with my teenage son. My husband is so agressive, used to yell, verbal abuse..etc. In addition we got into so many financial and family problems because of his aggressiveness. I worry that these problems would impact my son's personality and relation with his father. What shall i do. I tried alot to change my husband. But he does not understand.
Show him the first part... the 3 rules and then see this video with him and then ask him what he thinks... Ask your son to write a letter to his father sharing how he feels and what he would like from his father... and then ask him to read the letter and record a video and show it to his father... my hope is that the father will realise and improve.
Thanks for such an informative video. I am your new subscriber.will surely follow your advice. I felt ashamed after watching your two videos back to back as I myself was always yelling at my kids to follow me but in vain. But I m very positive after watching your videos and will surely apply these golden rules...
Salaam Ramadan Mubarak. MashAllah thank you for these videos. I’ve tried everything but not getting anywhere with my 10 year old son he just won’t listen he wants everything his way cause his friends are doing and keeps telling me to be quite when I try to explain when’s he calmed down
If you are open to a discussion we can get on a call and see how I can help you with this? You can schedule a call with me or my team here => www.murtazabadri.com/call
Brother how can I discipline without getting mad ? a 2 year old that does things to make me angry she knows that it’s not good to do that but she does and then lough at me I get mad and yell or put her in time out
how can a two year old have the power to make you angry ? You are an adult .. you need to control your yelling, abuse or hitting and then expect good behavior from her. If you behave rotten behavior...you will get rotten results.
My daughter 19 she wants to get married to get freedom to move out to live her own life cos i teach remind her to put Allah first dress appropriately wear scarf also. When reminded of duties they do it when they feel like it weve grown distant because we dont get along. She doesn't like what i buy clothes to cover her aura.. But now she does after 3yrs..i was told to change with times i within boundaries did but not deen. Allah firstb.. We did activities but she had a disappointment when she did drilling the instructor didn't take her further promises only.. She wanted to dress as friends western clothing no scarf. Also wanted to date at 16 yrs we said no.. She started treating me differently.. She was bullied on high school too.. Covid came they weren't allowed out she said i made more of her brother.. She dated behind our backs. Her friends circle was not all wise to be around.. Some friends was ok but gr 11 their group broke apart i didn't know cos she kept to her room most time.. Only when siblings visit the would be out of room comminicate ony when she wants something then im mom otherwise.. She avoid me we had many indifference.. I told her out of anger once i cant wait she move out cos taking ph during exam time was always fighting and once I asked her something she replied rude u slap her mouth she shoved me in the wall.. She cut me off im no longer her mother. W dont communicate still no apologies and she adress me as u.. Not mommy.. She treat me as the child she want to communicate as the parent and dictate to me and her brother.. She minipulate too daddys girl she picked up this behavior from her older sister too whom control the dad again but shes married has kids already... I dont know what to do the marriage must go forth but she doesn't speak to me only the dad.. And 4older siblings .how do i get threw to her i dont know where to start Nikka is 29Dec now she insist on thisdate. Boys father was not ready for wedding either. What do i do my husband also didn't tell me they getting married his only working 2days.... Previos work was just 2months then home he also wants to study... What is best to do she hasn't also apologized.
@@MurtazaBadri its really overwhelming to see the spontaneity of your response... Jazak allah khairan!!! But it's already very late. I'm now a mother of two kids Alhamdulillah and no more live with my parents... There is no point opening closed chapters now.
@@MurtazaBadri nonetheless I have picked many tips from you to deal with my 6 year old girl. May Allah grant u peace and success and a beautiful hereafter to your kids. Ameen
Brother I need ur help my kid always says mom gets angry when I do something wrong,so wht shud I do here,I shud be like this or no.I feel bad when she says this,I feel if something is wrong tmrw she won't tell me.
You have to actually hear and understand your child not just assume what they are thinking or saying. I do my best to learn what my child is doing and if I don't I find information on the subject so I know what she is talking about. Having interest in what my daughter is in to shows I care about what's important to her❤️ I do require help with her though due to her having lived with her very abusive father. I find she has traits of him already. She has trouble showing compassion when she sees people hurting emotionally or physically. Her father withheld love and almost all caretaking needs. I want to help heal both of us before it's too late to help her. I don't want to continue the family cycle of violence. Please help me. We are in therapy but it just doesn't seem to work for us. I'm doing the best I can with the limited resources I have.
Daydreaming is not bad... no need for you to make him come out. What does he daydreaming about? ask him, figure if it is positive or negative. Don't force him... let him grow and learn naturally.
Same here sir , she day dreams in school n her work at school is always incomplete ....have tried so many times asking what she dreams , she says nothing . She shares everything but about dreaming in class she keeps quiet
Thank you so much! I have recently become a foster carer to an 8 yr old girl. We are over the "honeymoon " period and she no longer does what i ask her to or listen to what I'm saying. She generally says things like "I'm bored" or "you're boring me".
I have learnt all about Safer Caring and Therapeutic Parenting but i still struggle and end up yelling at her.
Your videos are so inspiring and helpful and i feel very grateful that i stumbled across them.
Please keep posting more advice. Thank you sir 😊
I see the difference in behaving with children when I am in Greece. There is almost no screaming with children, parents are good in self control, and I never saw children screaming in the supermarket "I waaant that chocolate".
But here in western countries I think also we parents have too much stress, with job, relationships etc, and we kind of lost the simple rules to build a good connection to our children.
Thank you for reminding us 🙏 you are a good mentor
U don t even imagine how much you helped me with your videos, I was desperately looking for guidance and answers and With the will of Allah I came across your video 💕
👍👍👍
#1
Show your child SELF CONTROL
#2
STAY UPDATED with you child
#3
TAKE TIMEOUT and sit with your child
Saved me 10 mins
Thank each tym l beat my kids l cant sleep thank u fo the answers
God bless you❤❤
Thank you very much you have really taken a burden of my back.
Shukran
Thanks I will definitely try
Mourtaza badri very nice advice for our child but the condition are not equal for two parents and then is not possible to show our child the best way for the future
then both parents need to come to a common ground and take proper guidance if needed.
Good advice,I tried it and it works
Thank you v much sir. You are great. You helped me in a great way .
Too good.. Just needed this. Love your videos. Solves my problem all the time.. Thanks a tonne...😊👍🏻💕
Most welcome....it's always a pleasure to serve... appreciate your share and comment.
S really true words Tq v much sir
So nice of you
Self control, stay updated, time out n sit with child, insyaaAlloh...
I have probably spend about 4 or 5 hours over the last week just sitting there watch my younger son fingerboard. Listened to him explain everything about how he built his small course and what tricks he is doing, how his friends do certain things, what he would like to build... Even though this can be boring as heck, After a while he starts talking about other things, school, friends, his dreams, life goals, and then it goes to fears, doubts, and his future.... I don't really say much back, just listen. My older son at 15 is into reading philosophy, and I will listen for hours at a time some nights just listening to him give his thoughts. And it can be boring too, but I would not trade this for anything. They are both now teenagers of 13 and 15... And even with my older son I try to stay minimal in my responses and questions. I let them guide the conversation.. At some point usually a few days later one of them will just come and sit next to me and ask me what I am doing.. And that is my indication he would now like to listen.... Easier said than done, but its really as simple as that. And it pretty much must be done from day one... The older they get, the harder it is to start, and damn near impossible by the time they are in their early teens.
Thank you for being such an awesome parent and helping your child ... But thank you for sharing here. It's will help a lot of other parents.
@@MurtazaBadri Thankyou for the kind response. I basically decided I wanted to do the opposite of what my parents did. I mean, I guess I turned out ok, but I feel somehow damaged.. I want my kids to grow up and turn out ok without feeling like that. And in the end I think it will allow them to live a life without hangups and avoiding some of the depression me and my siblings had to endure.
@@wishusknight3009 I here you and can emphasize. I would like to suggest you join the Alive & Fearless Tribe ... a group of crazy people like you who are on a mission to create a happy, healthy and regret-free life and help others create the same.
This is really great advice and it's full of wisdom👍👍👍
Thank You for the kind words!
I really needed this…Thanks soo much, am frustrated
Wonderful piece there sir
Thank you very much mister
I want my all indian Muslims to b like u.
Educated and an asset to the country.
They are brother
Yes I muslim i wish whole india become this calmed down and happy with kids
Your topics are all good and necessary bro
You are so good. I saw other videos they only elaborated problems and asked viewers to come to online paid sessions and get solution
Thank You for the kind words!
Masha allah, u f a very good mentor .
May God giv barakah in all good u do
I think I made a huge mistake allowing my child to stay with his grandparents
Sir your videos are very inspiring to me I have two daughters and a son he is of 11years if he saw his cousins are having something to play or any gadgets he start cry he always say I don't have such things etc even though he have so many things
by talking and explaining that he might not get what everyone has and that he needs to appreciate what he has.... the other way you can do is say.... mom has taken a note of what you want and when the time come mom will buy you that toy.
Very helpful video no wonder for calm or full on angry type parents... worth for both.... Thanks for sharing Sir. Jazakallah kher.
Most welcome...happy to help!
This is great advice, I shall use this.
jazakallah thanks for sharing
How can I make him understand sir
Thank you from somalia
you are doing very good job
very well done
Thanks for sharing your ideas..
I have 3½ years old son. He is very smart in his all activity. He goes to school & deeniyat.. I feel bad that I have started yelling, & hitting sometimes badly due to family & office issues & due frustration I become over aggressive on my kid..Just because of this behavior my kid also become just like me aggressive & naughty, also not listening of me & his dad.. Sometimes back he was behaving very nicely no concern I had.. But now I now I am tense so much.
I heard about your golden 3 rules no yelling, no hitting, & no abusing him with bad words. Inshallah I will adapt it immediately.. But I have a question that if I get change in front of him I will control myself, I will follow all your 6 rules but it will change my kids behavior or he will remind me my aggression or my bad behavior.. I hope he will get forget my past nature after I get change..Please suggest..
Stop hitting your child and make the changes in your behavior to influence your child. he will forget the past but you need to make the changes first. If and when he changes is not sure and has no time limit. so make sure you do your change and he will change when the time comes for him.
Please guide me sir my elder son his age is 11 years he beat his sister's younger sisters every time I am so very about this please guide me what can I do God bless you thank you.
Thank you sir please upload a vidio about dingle parents specially with mother who lives abroad and raising the kid with their own
watch all the videos here you will get your answer murtazabadri.com/blog/category/parenting/
This is second part?
Thank you
Nice video
When I am in self control, and then request my 9 yrs son , politely and lovingly to do something, he doesn't bother, but when I start becoming serious, he responds...
Can you give your opinion on this...
because he is use to responding when you get angry so he does not when you are calm. You need to stop being serious and learn to communicate with love and respect. Children are not obliged to do everything the parents want them to do.... they are not robots. they also have feelings, needs and desires.
Like my child of 9 yrs😕😕😕
Great Video.. How to deal with a teenager /child who answers back.
This is agreat advice
Thanks!
I completely agree with you. I like your videos. I request you to help me with my teenage son. My husband is so agressive, used to yell, verbal abuse..etc. In addition we got into so many financial and family problems because of his aggressiveness. I worry that these problems would impact my son's personality and relation with his father. What shall i do. I tried alot to change my husband. But he does not understand.
Show him the first part... the 3 rules and then see this video with him and then ask him what he thinks... Ask your son to write a letter to his father sharing how he feels and what he would like from his father... and then ask him to read the letter and record a video and show it to his father... my hope is that the father will realise and improve.
Send some suggestions for single mother...
Thanks for such an informative video. I am your new subscriber.will surely follow your advice. I felt ashamed after watching your two videos back to back as I myself was always yelling at my kids to follow me but in vain. But I m very positive after watching your videos and will surely apply these golden rules...
Thanks for sharing and being honest! I wish you courage, self-control and patience. Stay Alive & Fearless!
Thank you so much
Most welcome
May Allah bless u
I love ur channel😊😊
My greetings from Jordan, Suisse
Thank you! Greetings from Mumbai, India : )
Never missed your videos
appreciate your trust
Assalamuaikum sir 😭 u are amazing...
Thanks and welcome
How do i contact u for consultation i am from india..
You can visit www.murtazabadri.com/call
Salaam Ramadan Mubarak. MashAllah thank you for these videos. I’ve tried everything but not getting anywhere with my 10 year old son he just won’t listen he wants everything his way cause his friends are doing and keeps telling me to be quite when I try to explain when’s he calmed down
If you are open to a discussion we can get on a call and see how I can help you with this?
You can schedule a call with me or my team here => www.murtazabadri.com/call
Brother how can I discipline without getting mad ? a 2 year old that does things to make me angry she knows that it’s not good to do that but she does and then lough at me I get mad and yell or put her in time out
how can a two year old have the power to make you angry ? You are an adult .. you need to control your yelling, abuse or hitting and then expect good behavior from her. If you behave rotten behavior...you will get rotten results.
I wasn’t expecting that answer but thank you maybe you misunderstood my question but then again thank I do benefit from your videos.
U ar amazing may Allah bless you
thank you for your kind words
My teenage daughter locks her room and avoid talking to me reason my misbehavior. What should I do?
Pls schedule a call with us to help you connect with you teen and behave in a way it's beneficial for both... Visit www.murtazabadri.com/call
U are amazing.💕💕💕
My daughter 19 she wants to get married to get freedom to move out to live her own life cos i teach remind her to put Allah first dress appropriately wear scarf also. When reminded of duties they do it when they feel like it weve grown distant because we dont get along. She doesn't like what i buy clothes to cover her aura.. But now she does after 3yrs..i was told to change with times i within boundaries did but not deen. Allah firstb.. We did activities but she had a disappointment when she did drilling the instructor didn't take her further promises only.. She wanted to dress as friends western clothing no scarf. Also wanted to date at 16 yrs we said no.. She started treating me differently.. She was bullied on high school too.. Covid came they weren't allowed out she said i made more of her brother.. She dated behind our backs. Her friends circle was not all wise to be around.. Some friends was ok but gr 11 their group broke apart i didn't know cos she kept to her room most time.. Only when siblings visit the would be out of room comminicate ony when she wants something then im mom otherwise.. She avoid me we had many indifference.. I told her out of anger once i cant wait she move out cos taking ph during exam time was always fighting and once I asked her something she replied rude u slap her mouth she shoved me in the wall.. She cut me off im no longer her mother. W dont communicate still no apologies and she adress me as u.. Not mommy.. She treat me as the child she want to communicate as the parent and dictate to me and her brother.. She minipulate too daddys girl she picked up this behavior from her older sister too whom control the dad again but shes married has kids already... I dont know what to do the marriage must go forth but she doesn't speak to me only the dad.. And 4older siblings .how do i get threw to her i dont know where to start Nikka is 29Dec now she insist on thisdate. Boys father was not ready for wedding either. What do i do my husband also didn't tell me they getting married his only working 2days.... Previos work was just 2months then home he also wants to study... What is best to do she hasn't also apologized.
Sir, I like all your videos. Very useful
I really enjoyed your video sir, thanks a lot to what you learning us 👏
I wish my parents saw this... They would know why I shut down and the reason for the distance between us
Share the link with them and tell them how you feel. Unless you share they won't know.
@@MurtazaBadri its really overwhelming to see the spontaneity of your response... Jazak allah khairan!!! But it's already very late. I'm now a mother of two kids Alhamdulillah and no more live with my parents... There is no point opening closed chapters now.
@@MurtazaBadri nonetheless I have picked many tips from you to deal with my 6 year old girl. May Allah grant u peace and success and a beautiful hereafter to your kids. Ameen
How to handle a girl of 11 year old wrote a romantic letters to a boy of 13 year old after after warnings many times how to do please help
Thank you so much for these videos.
Glad you like them!
👍👍
Brother I need ur help my kid always says mom gets angry when I do something wrong,so wht shud I do here,I shud be like this or no.I feel bad when she says this,I feel if something is wrong tmrw she won't tell me.
That's true.... you need to be calm, loving and not get angry. She will be afraid to tell you or take support if you react rather than respond.
@@MurtazaBadri thnks bro I do try this every day
You have to actually hear and understand your child not just assume what they are thinking or saying. I do my best to learn what my child is doing and if I don't I find information on the subject so I know what she is talking about. Having interest in what my daughter is in to shows I care about what's important to her❤️
I do require help with her though due to her having lived with her very abusive father. I find she has traits of him already. She has trouble showing compassion when she sees people hurting emotionally or physically. Her father withheld love and almost all caretaking needs. I want to help heal both of us before it's too late to help her. I don't want to continue the family cycle of violence. Please help me. We are in therapy but it just doesn't seem to work for us. I'm doing the best I can with the limited resources I have.
My child is 8 years old and always be in day dreaming, how could i make him come out of this, he even forgets to eat and drink in most of the times
Daydreaming is not bad... no need for you to make him come out. What does he daydreaming about? ask him, figure if it is positive or negative. Don't force him... let him grow and learn naturally.
Ok sir thanq, but in this day dreaming he is forgetting to do his own works
Same here sir , she day dreams in school n her work at school is always incomplete ....have tried so many times asking what she dreams , she says nothing . She shares everything but about dreaming in class she keeps quiet
Hello! Plz consult a psychologist... He badly need to diagnose mayb attention disorder.. Or something else... Its not normal...
@@autistic0710 ok thanq for responding
Make new videos brother
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