Superb video sir❤🙏...most accurate one... finally someone has addressed the real cause of "breakups/divorces" in today's time with necessary "solutions" 🎉 i had the same exact things to say when I analysed my breakup 1.5yrs back.... but u made my voice loud and out today....m so glad u made this! I saw it a year late....but never mind...agr abhi bhi isse sunnkar and smjhkar kisi aur ka bhalla hojaye toh!
Okkk soo i saw the video .. i understood where I’m going wrong .. nd now m gonna forward this video to see if he could understand this or again say future ka future me dekhenge !!!
If after marriage wife realizes that she's not his priority,husband doesn't express himself much in any sense, doesn't share any past life information,sticks to his old school of thought,then how to keep moving forward in life ?
That is why this man in the video is saying that you should go through assessment phase first.. The situation you have described can happen only in a arrange marriage setup where couple have not been given a good amount of time to know each other.. otherwise even in arrange marriage a partner can easily assess it before marriage that his/her spouse is expressive or not..
Sir plz make video on remarrage after divorce.what we can see in our partber and his family.what his priorities or choices or his mentality.how to check his mentality and his values plz share this kind of video
Hello shridhar school kindly brief about the second marriage do and don'ts because this time it's a hot topic.many people are stuck in this situation if they both are parents.
Once most practical and successful indian said and I quote "Mr. RATAN TATA" He said "on the day of your breakup, even though you get promotion in the office, you won't people happy" and youngsters and their parents take such an important aspect of an indiviuals life that is "a relationship building through continuous efforts" out of the equation..as if yeh filmy baatein hain...inka koi relevance nhi? Aree its equally important in everyones life same like money/health. Even Ratan TATA's till date biggest regret is that "he didn't get married due to getting to indulged into his work" and hence says, i didn't fully explored life till date....kya unse jyda koi "paisawala/practical" hai kya yahan pe? I dont think so...isilye bhaiyon-beheno....pls for god sake...buddhape mein baat smjhme aaye toh kya faida? Jawani mein hi thoda smjhlo guys! Death bed pe kmse km regret toh nhi hoga buddhape me!🙏
My husband prioritises his parents, siblings, extended family, his work and even the pets above me. Ours is an intercaste arranged marriage. In the initial honeymoon phase, for a few months, he did take a stand for me whenever his mum was mean to me. But since his parents are financially dependent on him as although, being younger among the siblings, he earns better, so they realised that their son was getting closer to me than them and threatened them to shift to their elder son's comparatively small and uncomfortable house. At that point, I too felt a need for privacy as we were married for four months and would get irritated with his mum's mockery on my inability to do the household chores. So, I one fine day, called up my hubby's elder brother to invite his parents to his house for a week. And he suggested me to go out on a trip with my husband instead of sending the parents to his house. (Btw, my brother in law lives in a nuclear family in a different city. And his wife dislikes his mum's attitude and threatens to leave him and take away their son if her husband would even think of a join family. So, my brother in law, for the sake of his son and his weak financial condition decided to let my husband, his younger brother take the responsibility of the parents. Since his wife adjusted living with their parents for 4 yrs, now it's the duty of the younger and better earning brother and his wife (that's me) to take care of the parents. And since he is financially weak, he won't contribute for any of his parents' expenses. Although, my husband would contribute when my parents in law lived with the elder brother and also invested in my brother in law's business, which went in loss and was gradually shut and also solely took the responsibility of their younger sister's wedding as my father in law, although physically a fit man of age 60, gave up working and decided to be dependent on the sons and sleep whole day and give up all the responsibility of a father. And of course, the elder son is financially weak and the younger is comparatively more successful so he will take all the responsibility. And my mil and fil gave up the couple relationship (physical intimacy) and live in a separate room as my mil got annoyed of her husband's failure in business and his inability to fulfil her dream of a comfortable life and his attitude of not trying and giving up.) So, that was the story of my husband's family! Coming to me. I am a 30 yrs old. Married for 8 months now, a patient of epilepsy with a broken engagement as my ex fiance had multiple affairs. My father too has been unsuccessful in his business resulting into being paralysed (although recovered by now) My father, initially successful in his business, made him extremely a generous man to financially help his siblings and friends and become lazy. Which resulted him to be a failure and he closed his business up and started taking random projects for the survival. After his financial failure, the siblings and the friends he had supported (financially) isolated him. His health soon started deteriorating and he completely stopped working but was lucky enough to inherit the property from my maternal grandfather who only had 2 daughters. My younger brother of age 24 decided to sell the property and buy a new house and a shop to restart my father's closed business which eventually incurred loss because of his laziness and unwillingness to work hard/smart both. In between the reopening of business and after my broken engagement I was desperately looking for, this time, a loyal partner. After meeting many guys through a marriage mediator who, according to me, werent a match for me as my requirement was atleast a graduate, someone whom I can a relatable conversation with and most importantly a loyal one woman man. And finally, I met this guy, who's now my husband and found him better than the rest of the guys I had met. I, then, carried an inferiority complex that having a broken engagement, patient of epilepsy, financially weak, just a mere school teacher inability to work hard/smart and being 30 yrs old, I won't get better guy than this. So, inspite of my parents' reluctance to have an intercaste marriage, I immediately agreed to marry. The initial honeymoon period was not bad. But later, there were frictions as after the incident when I asked my bil to invite their parents for a week, all my in-laws plotted to get my husband against me. And they did succeed. Now everything I did was wrong for him. My husband suddenly changed his attitude towards me prioritising every little thing over me. Our phisical relation now had became a mere physical act, not love making. We often had arguments leading to humiliation and fights. Also, as I had joined a teaching job, I faced humiliation and domination even professionally. I was all frustrated and my epilepsy attacks which were quite under control with medication started reoccuring due to extreme stress resulting into sleep deprivation. So I gave up doing the household chores and suggested to hire a house help. But my mil insisted on giving her the same money to her out of my salary n she'd do the work as she's still physically fit enough to cope the workload of the household chores. Gradually, my husband started humiliating me and called names for my parents whom he assumed as liars because inspite of having the money to restart their business, they didn't spend enough on our marriage. He felt they prioritised their business reopening over spending on their daughter's wedding. And when I defended my parents, he called me liar and dishonest to him and his family. Now he said that he didn't trust me. He often threatened me of divorce, which he knew, I'm dreaded of as I had discussed my past and all my flaws and inability work above my capacity, and I can't stand domination. He forced me to ask my parents for my share in their property which made me question him that what did his parents inherit him? Nothing! So doesn't have any right to expect it from my parents. Defending our own parents and creating a hatred for each other's parents created a huge rift between us. I felt lonely but he was least bothered as he was occupied with work. So, for now I'm in my hometown. I do have a sense of lil affection for him just coz he's my husband but he clearly said he doesn't. And if I have to earn his affection, I have to learn to work hard with household chores, do the job despite of poor health as he thinks i'm making a big deal of my poor health. I want my husband's priority and want to shift in a nuclear family with him as I have observed that he's nice to me when the pets and parents aren't around. But he doesn't want to let his parents get separated coz 1. He thinks he'd be unfair and he thinks he's the judge who does the justice. 2. What will the relatives think if I separate my parents for my wife's comfort. He's an henpecked man. 3. Not because he respects his parents. How to I convince him to prioritise me? Have a conversation, have a work life balance, be a lil romantic instead of being a nerd n too practical to be nice, and get a space from his parents and pets? I don't want to go out on a vacation with him as I enjoy being alone at home with him than travelling, cook for him without his mum's interference, wear sexy outfits without the fear that his parents are around.
To add, I have never helped my mum with household chores. I didn't know how to cook before marriage and my parents didn't ask any of us siblings to learn to work. My mum, single handedly did everything. I and my siblings have inherited my father's genes of being lazy. I'd wake up late and got everything readymade by my mum and just did a very convenient teaching job on my own terms. I have never had the habit to put up with domination personally or professionally before marriage. I have had always taken a stand for myself and never bowed before anybody. And a sudden diametrically opposite atmosphere after marriage both professionally and personally, where I, with a fear to lose, unwillingly bow before every damn one, has turned my state of mind upside down. I feel frustrated and at times burst out with anger. My husband says, "u were a princess at ur parents' house but here, u have either work at home or go for a job, despite of ur health issues. We unlike ur parents won't feed u free of cost. We either want a good dowry from ur parents, or u earning or doing the household chores as my mum says, under her guidance. We are least concerned about ur health. I have spent a lot on my sister's wedding so I want to recover that by getting a good amount from ur parents or make u work. U aren't equal to me. I earn much more than u. And as per indian culture, wives are always beneath the men in status. U r very secondary to me. My parents and siblings are my first family. U have come later. And they have done things for me. U haven't yet done anything for me. So unless u do anything for me u will be treated secondary. U won't be involved in any kind of decision making. U will be the last person, I will remember." And I replied, "I, without u making any efforts made u my priority just for the fact that u r my husband n that reason was more than enough for me make u my priority as I have grown up seeing that a couple relationship is above every other relationship. So why I need give a proof and money to be ur priority? Isn't the fact that I'm ur wife enough to make me ur priority? "
Please make assessment phase that would important in arrange marriage setup
I need a video on assessment phase
Me too
Thanks a lot for the tips! It will really help me and my future partner to build a deeper and stronger relationship 😊
1:06 the humor Shridhar drops in every video😂🤍
Superb video sir❤🙏...most accurate one... finally someone has addressed the real cause of "breakups/divorces" in today's time with necessary "solutions" 🎉 i had the same exact things to say when I analysed my breakup 1.5yrs back.... but u made my voice loud and out today....m so glad u made this! I saw it a year late....but never mind...agr abhi bhi isse sunnkar and smjhkar kisi aur ka bhalla hojaye toh!
Initial assessment video🤌
Yes please make a video on how to assess
Please make a video on assesment phase
And when we give 100 % it is gonna hit damn hard
I am looking for serious exclusive relationship... Please upload assessment phase
So grateful you address these important topics, spot on advice!!👏👏
Well explained Sridhar 👊
Congrats..... I am sure you know that your content is precious and spot on!!!!
Great video👏
Please make a video on assessments phase
Yes make assessment videos
Sounds great!
Okkk soo i saw the video ..
i understood where I’m going wrong .. nd now m gonna forward this video to see if he could understand this or again say future ka future me dekhenge !!!
Sir, please🙏🏼 make the assessment video.
It would be of extremely helpful.
Thank you for this video.
Really appreciate your knowledge
Please make a video on assessment phase.
Can you please let me know how can I get your audio book on relationship?
Plzz give the video for assessment
I too need a video on assessment phase
If after marriage wife realizes that she's not his priority,husband doesn't express himself much in any sense, doesn't share any past life information,sticks to his old school of thought,then how to keep moving forward in life ?
That is why this man in the video is saying that you should go through assessment phase first..
The situation you have described can happen only in a arrange marriage setup where couple have not been given a good amount of time to know each other.. otherwise even in arrange marriage a partner can easily assess it before marriage that his/her spouse is expressive or not..
Make video on assessment.
Sir plz make video on remarrage after divorce.what we can see in our partber and his family.what his priorities or choices or his mentality.how to check his mentality and his values plz share this kind of video
Hello shridhar school kindly brief about the second marriage do and don'ts because this time it's a hot topic.many people are stuck in this situation if they both are parents.
Pls make an assessment video phase pls
video on assessment would be great help
So true 😘😘😘😘
I laughed when u said how will i make videos thn
please make a video on assessment phase
Pls make assessment video
Do make a video for the assessment too....
Please make videos related to assessment for arrange marriage
Could use the assessment video
Sir,make video on Premarital counselling
Hello sir.Pl.make a video on how to deal with impotent man & PCOD woman.
Seriously, need a complete guide on this said assessment process
Pls make assessment video. Pleaseeee
Kindly make an assessment video
Please do assessment video
Once most practical and successful indian said and I quote "Mr. RATAN TATA" He said "on the day of your breakup, even though you get promotion in the office, you won't people happy" and youngsters and their parents take such an important aspect of an indiviuals life that is "a relationship building through continuous efforts" out of the equation..as if yeh filmy baatein hain...inka koi relevance nhi? Aree its equally important in everyones life same like money/health. Even Ratan TATA's till date biggest regret is that "he didn't get married due to getting to indulged into his work" and hence says, i didn't fully explored life till date....kya unse jyda koi "paisawala/practical" hai kya yahan pe? I dont think so...isilye bhaiyon-beheno....pls for god sake...buddhape mein baat smjhme aaye toh kya faida? Jawani mein hi thoda smjhlo guys! Death bed pe kmse km regret toh nhi hoga buddhape me!🙏
Assessment phase please.....
Assessment phase please.
What if your partner doesn't want to talk about future?
My husband prioritises his parents, siblings, extended family, his work and even the pets above me. Ours is an intercaste arranged marriage. In the initial honeymoon phase, for a few months, he did take a stand for me whenever his mum was mean to me. But since his parents are financially dependent on him as although, being younger among the siblings, he earns better, so they realised that their son was getting closer to me than them and threatened them to shift to their elder son's comparatively small and uncomfortable house. At that point, I too felt a need for privacy as we were married for four months and would get irritated with his mum's mockery on my inability to do the household chores. So, I one fine day, called up my hubby's elder brother to invite his parents to his house for a week. And he suggested me to go out on a trip with my husband instead of sending the parents to his house. (Btw, my brother in law lives in a nuclear family in a different city. And his wife dislikes his mum's attitude and threatens to leave him and take away their son if her husband would even think of a join family. So, my brother in law, for the sake of his son and his weak financial condition decided to let my husband, his younger brother take the responsibility of the parents. Since his wife adjusted living with their parents for 4 yrs, now it's the duty of the younger and better earning brother and his wife (that's me) to take care of the parents. And since he is financially weak, he won't contribute for any of his parents' expenses. Although, my husband would contribute when my parents in law lived with the elder brother and also invested in my brother in law's business, which went in loss and was gradually shut and also solely took the responsibility of their younger sister's wedding as my father in law, although physically a fit man of age 60, gave up working and decided to be dependent on the sons and sleep whole day and give up all the responsibility of a father. And of course, the elder son is financially weak and the younger is comparatively more successful so he will take all the responsibility. And my mil and fil gave up the couple relationship (physical intimacy) and live in a separate room as my mil got annoyed of her husband's failure in business and his inability to fulfil her dream of a comfortable life and his attitude of not trying and giving up.) So, that was the story of my husband's family! Coming to me. I am a 30 yrs old. Married for 8 months now, a patient of epilepsy with a broken engagement as my ex fiance had multiple affairs. My father too has been unsuccessful in his business resulting into being paralysed (although recovered by now) My father, initially successful in his business, made him extremely a generous man to financially help his siblings and friends and become lazy. Which resulted him to be a failure and he closed his business up and started taking random projects for the survival. After his financial failure, the siblings and the friends he had supported (financially) isolated him. His health soon started deteriorating and he completely stopped working but was lucky enough to inherit the property from my maternal grandfather who only had 2 daughters. My younger brother of age 24 decided to sell the property and buy a new house and a shop to restart my father's closed business which eventually incurred loss because of his laziness and unwillingness to work hard/smart both. In between the reopening of business and after my broken engagement I was desperately looking for, this time, a loyal partner. After meeting many guys through a marriage mediator who, according to me, werent a match for me as my requirement was atleast a graduate, someone whom I can a relatable conversation with and most importantly a loyal one woman man. And finally, I met this guy, who's now my husband and found him better than the rest of the guys I had met. I, then, carried an inferiority complex that having a broken engagement, patient of epilepsy, financially weak, just a mere school teacher inability to work hard/smart and being 30 yrs old, I won't get better guy than this. So, inspite of my parents' reluctance to have an intercaste marriage, I immediately agreed to marry. The initial honeymoon period was not bad. But later, there were frictions as after the incident when I asked my bil to invite their parents for a week, all my in-laws plotted to get my husband against me. And they did succeed. Now everything I did was wrong for him. My husband suddenly changed his attitude towards me prioritising every little thing over me. Our phisical relation now had became a mere physical act, not love making. We often had arguments leading to humiliation and fights. Also, as I had joined a teaching job, I faced humiliation and domination even professionally. I was all frustrated and my epilepsy attacks which were quite under control with medication started reoccuring due to extreme stress resulting into sleep deprivation. So I gave up doing the household chores and suggested to hire a house help. But my mil insisted on giving her the same money to her out of my salary n she'd do the work as she's still physically fit enough to cope the workload of the household chores. Gradually, my husband started humiliating me and called names for my parents whom he assumed as liars because inspite of having the money to restart their business, they didn't spend enough on our marriage. He felt they prioritised their business reopening over spending on their daughter's wedding. And when I defended my parents, he called me liar and dishonest to him and his family. Now he said that he didn't trust me. He often threatened me of divorce, which he knew, I'm dreaded of as I had discussed my past and all my flaws and inability work above my capacity, and I can't stand domination. He forced me to ask my parents for my share in their property which made me question him that what did his parents inherit him? Nothing! So doesn't have any right to expect it from my parents. Defending our own parents and creating a hatred for each other's parents created a huge rift between us. I felt lonely but he was least bothered as he was occupied with work. So, for now I'm in my hometown. I do have a sense of lil affection for him just coz he's my husband but he clearly said he doesn't. And if I have to earn his affection, I have to learn to work hard with household chores, do the job despite of poor health as he thinks i'm making a big deal of my poor health. I want my husband's priority and want to shift in a nuclear family with him as I have observed that he's nice to me when the pets and parents aren't around. But he doesn't want to let his parents get separated coz
1. He thinks he'd be unfair and he thinks he's the judge who does the justice.
2. What will the relatives think if I separate my parents for my wife's comfort. He's an henpecked man.
3. Not because he respects his parents.
How to I convince him to prioritise me? Have a conversation, have a work life balance, be a lil romantic instead of being a nerd n too practical to be nice, and get a space from his parents and pets? I don't want to go out on a vacation with him as I enjoy being alone at home with him than travelling, cook for him without his mum's interference, wear sexy outfits without the fear that his parents are around.
To add, I have never helped my mum with household chores. I didn't know how to cook before marriage and my parents didn't ask any of us siblings to learn to work. My mum, single handedly did everything. I and my siblings have inherited my father's genes of being lazy. I'd wake up late and got everything readymade by my mum and just did a very convenient teaching job on my own terms. I have never had the habit to put up with domination personally or professionally before marriage. I have had always taken a stand for myself and never bowed before anybody. And a sudden diametrically opposite atmosphere after marriage both professionally and personally, where I, with a fear to lose, unwillingly bow before every damn one, has turned my state of mind upside down. I feel frustrated and at times burst out with anger. My husband says, "u were a princess at ur parents' house but here, u have either work at home or go for a job, despite of ur health issues. We unlike ur parents won't feed u free of cost. We either want a good dowry from ur parents, or u earning or doing the household chores as my mum says, under her guidance. We are least concerned about ur health. I have spent a lot on my sister's wedding so I want to recover that by getting a good amount from ur parents or make u work. U aren't equal to me. I earn much more than u. And as per indian culture, wives are always beneath the men in status. U r very secondary to me. My parents and siblings are my first family. U have come later. And they have done things for me. U haven't yet done anything for me. So unless u do anything for me u will be treated secondary. U won't be involved in any kind of decision making. U will be the last person, I will remember." And I replied, "I, without u making any efforts made u my priority just for the fact that u r my husband n that reason was more than enough for me make u my priority as I have grown up seeing that a couple relationship is above every other relationship. So why I need give a proof and money to be ur priority? Isn't the fact that I'm ur wife enough to make me ur priority? "
Assessment phase.
Bhai..Tried first this advice on your existing relationship ??
Yup. Very much.
pls make a video on assessment phase
Please make a video on assessment phase 🙏🙏