Sheltered 80s teen and my mom did not prepare me for men and dating. I went to college and immediately dated a dusty(didn’t know it then) and he could smell my naivety a mile away! No pregnancy thankfully, but, I wasted too much time!!
You don’t even have to be an immigrant!!!You just have to be their child ❤ happened to me but moreso for grades declining severely due to (undiagnosed) depression
@@EtherealSolanaour parents just don’t want us to date period. Has nothing to do with bad grades. We can be a scholar for the ages and we better not have a boyfriend or we going BACK home to Trinidad 😭😩
I feel like black parents don't give black girls a safe place to fall when it comes to dating. The marching orders are don't get pregnant before 18. After that all bets are off. Whatever happens, happens. The biggest thing I remember my mother saying was "If you get pregnant you better be prepared to raise it alone." We've all just accepted that these ninjas ain't sh*** and we have to navigate it the best we can.
The problem isn't the pipeline persay, it's a cultural problem. We as a culture do not prioritize marriage - both young men and young women . It isn't just about learning to date, as a culture we do not think marriage is the goal. Baby mama culture is accepted and even encouraged. It's easy to blame women for not having the tools, but neither do the young men. How many of them are marriage minded and proposing?
The problem isn't even marriage because they would still marry those dusties. The problem is that sheltered black girls don't know how to navigate relationships and are attracted by toxic relationships
Y'all have got to stop thinking marriage is the end all be all. In our grandparents age the marriage rate was high but those marriages were trash. High DV rates, cheating, men with multiple families, etc. The real issue is men don't respect women and the women have low self esteem. I do agree the culture is the problem because there's no guidance and no unity.
I got married, but that's not saving anyone. People only say this because of the amount of black wives choosing to put up a front as if their not suffering behind closed doors. The problem is the pool...
The call is coming from inside the house. I'm from the side that does prioritize marriage. Yet I was taught to essentially tolerate bs (man has never cleaned a bathroom but stays dirtying it up with pee on the floor etc.) and groomed to be the "help mate" slaves my earlier generations were treated as. But at least they're not alone I guess. I could never.
Girl. . . I don't even like to watch videos about these young ladies, because I already know. Y'all talking right and much appreciation to all the sistas who aren't afraid to start this conversation.
It’s 2025 these are young women who grew up with the internet and social media where we were able to see others mistakes AND the mistakes of our family members and friends .im not saying that what she said is not valid but I’m also not going to victimize these young women. THEY KNOW it’s not beneficial.i wish them nothing but happiness and real love ,they took responsibility for their error which is why I will never shame baby mamas. It’s never to late to bounce back .i am a young black girl in her late teens who started listening to these type of videos in my early teens, I’m so great full for these type of vids cause it is true that our parents (especially immigrants) never teach us these things cause they don’t want us to make their mistakes .HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE 🎉🎉🎉
I was sheltered growing up. When I joined the Air Force, I went buck wild but remained a virgin until I met my husband. I had a good relationship with my father, which I believe helped me navigate relationships with men.
You're correct... Having cultivated a nurturing relationship with your father is very important and helpful...My father shared with me so much information regarding being a respectable / responsible lady and the life changing information he's provided about boys, boyfriends =&= men...Has definitely saved my life and my reproductive health
DDG wanted to diminish her star power and slow her career down. He accomplished both. I’m very interested to see if she’ll ever be cast in a blockbuster film or be a leading lady in an A-list film now that she’s a mom and she didn’t really have an established career before getting pregnant. I hate that Halle let DDG ruin her career because she’s so beautiful and she could’ve been on zendayas level with time. Another one bites the dust.
True and a fun fact Zendaya actually wanted the Little Mermaid role but they choose Halle it’s unfortunate she didn’t capitalize off her star power the way Zendaya is🤎🤎🤎
Very interesting… I didn’t know zendaya wanted that. But it was a blessing in disguise because people would’ve dragged her through the mud. But at the same time the movie might’ve performed better if zendaya was the lead. Because I heard the movie didn’t even break even in sales. But then again, when Halle was supposed to be promoting the movie.. she was busy hiding her pregnancy lol. That definitely affected the sales.
I'm glad my marriage was an arranged one. I was sheltered being Muslim but my father and brother vetted the hell out of my husband. been together 17 years alhumdulilah.
If you come from an environment or culture where baby mamas/daddies are common, then many young people will do the same things they already see other people around them doing. It's not enough to just say that people should marry before having kids if most of the adults saying that didn't follow that advice. People who come from very sheltered backgrounds (muslims, Africans, Asians, etc.) usually don't have children out of wedlock because that's pretty much unheard of in those societies. For them, it's common for parents, aunts, uncles, etc. to all be married so everyone is expecting the younger generations to get married sooner or later. Even though Keke, Hailey, Skai, etc. have fame that gave them access to more and possibly better options in terms of potential husbands, they still all went the baby mama route anyway--which could be because they don't come from a personal background where marriage is expected before children, or they've been influenced by their current environment (Hollywood) where that's not really expected.
I experienced myself if I never broke up with him I would have been the victim of his crime. He actually ended up on the news and I always am thankful I never had a child with him
Never got the talk, trial and error. Man I wish I could go back. Can’t even talk to my mom atp she’s telling me it’s ok to be a baby momma. Cuz she and my dad will help me. I’m too experienced now to put up with ish. She said this cuz I’m 29 and single 😂
I’m grateful that I wasn’t locked up in the Ivory Tower and not allowed to date. I was guided through the dating process by my parents and I am forever grateful for that. I was a virgin until I was 17, and you guessed it, I got pregnant my first time having that experience (I’m being vague but y’all know what I’m saying. YT is finicky about what you say 🙄🙄🙄). I went to Planned Parenthood and I terminated it because I wasn’t ready for a child. But I wasn’t shamed about it. I was loved through it and it made a bad situation better for me. I was taught to date for marriage. But they were realistic about the fact that I was going to test drive the guy before purchasing the marriage certificate! 😂😂😂 I wish everyone had parents like mine, because the terms Baby Mama and Baby Daddy wouldn’t have been invented. Women would have been hip to game like I was and never fallen into that trap.
@ I’m forever grateful for and thankful to them. Even my old fashioned grandparents were realistic about their kids and granddaughters and dating. I was with my grandma in the kitchen one morning when I started doing the math for the wedding date, versus the oldest child’s bday for my great aunts and uncles, so her sister and brother in laws. Out of 9, 7 were pregnant or had their future wives pregnant before they got married. My grandparents and my grandfather’s twin sister and her husband, were the only ones that weren’t but they both got pregnant on their honeymoon because their oldest kids are 9 months away from their wedding anniversary and 9 days apart from each other. So they knew what was up and they were realistic about what their kids were doing in the late 60s through the 70s. Fortunately our parents kept up the tradition of being honest about what was going to happen no matter what the parents do, and prepared is for the world. We were all married (some are divorced now) before having children, so no e of us take the time of Baby Mama or Baby Daddy. Try calling one of them that. You’ll wake up in three weeks wondering what happened!😂😂😂
Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t get this idea that marriage is protection. What protection properties does it have? From my understanding it really is just a piece of paper; its a contract like any other. I also don’t get the idea of having to get married prior to having a child. What difference does it make? It just feels super archaic.
What people mean when they say it’s a protection is because courts are not set up to divide the property of cohabitating couples. Divorce decrees are binding documents and can include what do with property, children, finances all the way to retirement and death. If not married, you are not the next of kin if your partner becomes hospitalized and decisions have to be made about letting go of life support. So yes it’s a piece of paper, but that document is legally recognized for a host of reasons. That’s why lgbtq fought so hard for marriage rights.
i love your presence on this app so wanted to ask if you have any positive videos about black women?? nearly every vid is negative. can we have some positive representations of blackness please?
Yes the point of the channel is to change the narratives already existing about black women but I have videos about natural hair giving us access to pretty privilege, dark skin privilege and more and I have a new video about 4c hair being the most versatile dropping very soon🤎🤎🤎
@@ayeteebby23 i understand that but ateotd we are more than that we can highlight what needs to be worked on as well as celebrating the positives in our culture.
Idk why Halle up there. DDG is a very good father and its obvious he cares about Halo and her. As far BDs go she lucked out even compared to ALOT of ppls husbands. He got his own money, fame, and nodody is holding a gun to his head to make him be there for his baby. If he was so bad Halle wouldnt have such a good coparent relationship with him. Sometimes the romance doesn't work but that doesnt negate the fact that he does the damn thing when it comes to his responsibilities. Yeah he obviously not perfect but he damn sure better then alot of males.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
Sheltered 80s teen and my mom did not prepare me for men and dating. I went to college and immediately dated a dusty(didn’t know it then) and he could smell my naivety a mile away! No pregnancy thankfully, but, I wasted too much time!!
Same here…my first love is a dusty in my eyes but I didn’t know how to vet and thankfully no pregnancy for me either🤎
Shout out to all the immigrant kids who got threatened to be shipped back to africa if they ever took part in anything related to a relationship
🤣🤣🤣
🥂✨️🌄🌻👋🏽@@chatwithchika
Yet when you turn 25 they will get mad because you are not married...
You don’t even have to be an immigrant!!!You just have to be their child ❤ happened to me but moreso for grades declining severely due to (undiagnosed) depression
@@EtherealSolanaour parents just don’t want us to date period. Has nothing to do with bad grades. We can be a scholar for the ages and we better not have a boyfriend or we going BACK home to Trinidad 😭😩
I feel like black parents don't give black girls a safe place to fall when it comes to dating. The marching orders are don't get pregnant before 18. After that all bets are off. Whatever happens, happens. The biggest thing I remember my mother saying was "If you get pregnant you better be prepared to raise it alone." We've all just accepted that these ninjas ain't sh*** and we have to navigate it the best we can.
Red bonnet is on point!! Actually talk to your daughters. Saying don't get pregnant 50 times isn't enough to save them from an abusive relationship!!!
There’s too much information out now for them girls to be making the same mistakes in the 2000s…
I agree we are living in a great time where women are communicating and giving each other guidance. We just have to be willing to listen.
Because they aren’t making mistakes. They so intentional
The problem is the pool..shoutout to Kimberly Nicole Foster😂
@ black women refuse to move around.
The problem isn't the pipeline persay, it's a cultural problem. We as a culture do not prioritize marriage - both young men and young women . It isn't just about learning to date, as a culture we do not think marriage is the goal. Baby mama culture is accepted and even encouraged. It's easy to blame women for not having the tools, but neither do the young men. How many of them are marriage minded and proposing?
The problem isn't even marriage because they would still marry those dusties. The problem is that sheltered black girls don't know how to navigate relationships and are attracted by toxic relationships
Y'all have got to stop thinking marriage is the end all be all. In our grandparents age the marriage rate was high but those marriages were trash. High DV rates, cheating, men with multiple families, etc.
The real issue is men don't respect women and the women have low self esteem. I do agree the culture is the problem because there's no guidance and no unity.
👏🏽✨️🥂💛
I got married, but that's not saving anyone. People only say this because of the amount of black wives choosing to put up a front as if their not suffering behind closed doors. The problem is the pool...
The call is coming from inside the house. I'm from the side that does prioritize marriage. Yet I was taught to essentially tolerate bs (man has never cleaned a bathroom but stays dirtying it up with pee on the floor etc.) and groomed to be the "help mate" slaves my earlier generations were treated as. But at least they're not alone I guess.
I could never.
Girl. . .
I don't even like to watch videos about these young ladies, because I already know.
Y'all talking right and much appreciation to all the sistas who aren't afraid to start this conversation.
🤎🤎🤎🤎
It’s 2025 these are young women who grew up with the internet and social media where we were able to see others mistakes AND the mistakes of our family members and friends .im not saying that what she said is not valid but I’m also not going to victimize these young women. THEY KNOW it’s not beneficial.i wish them nothing but happiness and real love ,they took responsibility for their error which is why I will never shame baby mamas. It’s never to late to bounce back .i am a young black girl in her late teens who started listening to these type of videos in my early teens, I’m so great full for these type of vids cause it is true that our parents (especially immigrants) never teach us these things cause they don’t want us to make their mistakes .HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you for watching and happy new year 🎊
I was sheltered growing up. When I joined the Air Force, I went buck wild but remained a virgin until I met my husband. I had a good relationship with my father, which I believe helped me navigate relationships with men.
You're correct... Having cultivated a nurturing relationship with your father is very important and helpful...My father shared with me so much information regarding being a respectable / responsible lady and the life changing information he's provided about boys, boyfriends =&= men...Has definitely saved my life and my reproductive health
I agree having your father definitely helps 🤎🤎🤎
DDG wanted to diminish her star power and slow her career down. He accomplished both. I’m very interested to see if she’ll ever be cast in a blockbuster film or be a leading lady in an A-list film now that she’s a mom and she didn’t really have an established career before getting pregnant. I hate that Halle let DDG ruin her career because she’s so beautiful and she could’ve been on zendayas level with time. Another one bites the dust.
True and a fun fact Zendaya actually wanted the Little Mermaid role but they choose Halle it’s unfortunate she didn’t capitalize off her star power the way Zendaya is🤎🤎🤎
Very interesting… I didn’t know zendaya wanted that. But it was a blessing in disguise because people would’ve dragged her through the mud. But at the same time the movie might’ve performed better if zendaya was the lead. Because I heard the movie didn’t even break even in sales. But then again, when Halle was supposed to be promoting the movie.. she was busy hiding her pregnancy lol. That definitely affected the sales.
Idk. There are plenty of people who still land roles and have way messier personal lives. I think she will be fine
I'm sheltered and every day i think god for not making me STRAIGHT
That’s definitely prevents raggedy baby daddy part lol 😂 but you have to vet everyone regardless of gender🤎
I'm glad my marriage was an arranged one. I was sheltered being Muslim but my father and brother vetted the hell out of my husband. been together 17 years alhumdulilah.
I appreciate your channel! Happy New Year! 🍾🎊
Omg 🥹Thank you so much…Happy New Year 🎊
If you come from an environment or culture where baby mamas/daddies are common, then many young people will do the same things they already see other people around them doing. It's not enough to just say that people should marry before having kids if most of the adults saying that didn't follow that advice. People who come from very sheltered backgrounds (muslims, Africans, Asians, etc.) usually don't have children out of wedlock because that's pretty much unheard of in those societies. For them, it's common for parents, aunts, uncles, etc. to all be married so everyone is expecting the younger generations to get married sooner or later.
Even though Keke, Hailey, Skai, etc. have fame that gave them access to more and possibly better options in terms of potential husbands, they still all went the baby mama route anyway--which could be because they don't come from a personal background where marriage is expected before children, or they've been influenced by their current environment (Hollywood) where that's not really expected.
Great points I can definitely see that for sure🤎🤎🤎
The pookie of all pookies 😂
Lmao 🤣
I experienced myself if I never broke up with him I would have been the victim of his crime. He actually ended up on the news and I always am thankful I never had a child with him
This is a great topic.
Thank you🤎🤎🤎
I just hope Chloe doesnt end up a baby mama like her sister did. They both make horrible choices in men.
Me too 🤎
Never got the talk, trial and error. Man I wish I could go back. Can’t even talk to my mom atp she’s telling me it’s ok to be a baby momma. Cuz she and my dad will help me. I’m too experienced now to put up with ish. She said this cuz I’m 29 and single 😂
Oh wow! I’m glad that you seem to have a good head on your shoulders despite the lack of guidance 🤎🤎🤎
I’m grateful that I wasn’t locked up in the Ivory Tower and not allowed to date. I was guided through the dating process by my parents and I am forever grateful for that. I was a virgin until I was 17, and you guessed it, I got pregnant my first time having that experience (I’m being vague but y’all know what I’m saying. YT is finicky about what you say 🙄🙄🙄). I went to Planned Parenthood and I terminated it because I wasn’t ready for a child. But I wasn’t shamed about it. I was loved through it and it made a bad situation better for me. I was taught to date for marriage. But they were realistic about the fact that I was going to test drive the guy before purchasing the marriage certificate! 😂😂😂 I wish everyone had parents like mine, because the terms Baby Mama and Baby Daddy wouldn’t have been invented. Women would have been hip to game like I was and never fallen into that trap.
Thank you for sharing and it’s great you had a wonderful support system with your family 🤎🤎🤎
@ I’m forever grateful for and thankful to them. Even my old fashioned grandparents were realistic about their kids and granddaughters and dating. I was with my grandma in the kitchen one morning when I started doing the math for the wedding date, versus the oldest child’s bday for my great aunts and uncles, so her sister and brother in laws. Out of 9, 7 were pregnant or had their future wives pregnant before they got married. My grandparents and my grandfather’s twin sister and her husband, were the only ones that weren’t but they both got pregnant on their honeymoon because their oldest kids are 9 months away from their wedding anniversary and 9 days apart from each other. So they knew what was up and they were realistic about what their kids were doing in the late 60s through the 70s. Fortunately our parents kept up the tradition of being honest about what was going to happen no matter what the parents do, and prepared is for the world. We were all married (some are divorced now) before having children, so no e of us take the time of Baby Mama or Baby Daddy. Try calling one of them that. You’ll wake up in three weeks wondering what happened!😂😂😂
Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t get this idea that marriage is protection. What protection properties does it have? From my understanding it really is just a piece of paper; its a contract like any other.
I also don’t get the idea of having to get married prior to having a child. What difference does it make? It just feels super archaic.
What people mean when they say it’s a protection is because courts are not set up to divide the property of cohabitating couples. Divorce decrees are binding documents and can include what do with property, children, finances all the way to retirement and death. If not married, you are not the next of kin if your partner becomes hospitalized and decisions have to be made about letting go of life support. So yes it’s a piece of paper, but that document is legally recognized for a host of reasons. That’s why lgbtq fought so hard for marriage rights.
I agree ⬆️🤎
i love your presence on this app so wanted to ask if you have any positive videos about black women?? nearly every vid is negative. can we have some positive representations of blackness please?
I believe the point of this channel is to respectfully highlight what needs to be worked on.. ❤
Yes the point of the channel is to change the narratives already existing about black women but I have videos about natural hair giving us access to pretty privilege, dark skin privilege and more and I have a new video about 4c hair being the most versatile dropping very soon🤎🤎🤎
@@ayeteebby23 i understand that but ateotd we are more than that we can highlight what needs to be worked on as well as celebrating the positives in our culture.
#22 likes 👍🏽 made 🎊
Happy Wednesday 🌻🌄✨️👋🏽😉
🤎🤎🤎🤎
Idk why Halle up there. DDG is a very good father and its obvious he cares about Halo and her. As far BDs go she lucked out even compared to ALOT of ppls husbands. He got his own money, fame, and nodody is holding a gun to his head to make him be there for his baby. If he was so bad Halle wouldnt have such a good coparent relationship with him. Sometimes the romance doesn't work but that doesnt negate the fact that he does the damn thing when it comes to his responsibilities.
Yeah he obviously not perfect but he damn sure better then alot of males.
She’s only up there because he did not marry her…I stated other good qualities about DDG🤎