Agree. Also frustrating that hookup culture is making a lot of ppl think it is a norm to just get physical shortly after meeting someone. It explains why some ppl go through a new person every few weeks or months. You can’t truly know someone without taking time to build emotional connection. People so often dispose others when they don’t even try to work things out and instead find a new person to replace the former. Sigh…
@@francescaspencer1700 yup, instant gratification. I have met ppl who say they want a committed relationship, yet they don’t have the skills because they have always had casual relationships. Instead of reflecting on themselves, they reason with no chemistry. Uh huh…and I don’t even know who they are…
The No.1 way to establish passed the physical connection is to prioritise 'emotional' time with him instead of just the 'physical' time. Because of how a guys mind works (wondering when do i get to have physical intimacy with her) as a woman its important to prioritise spending time with a guy where sex is off the table otherwise that's going to be the only thing on his mind whenever he meets you. If he's only thinking about the potential of sex on the date with you, he's not thinking about who you are, what your dreams are and whether you both are a right fit. Remove sex from the table on dates and thats what he'll focus on, who YOU are :) Thanks Matthew, always a inspiration for my channel!
@@majrminer No not every woman is aware of this, that's why it's important to know so they don't shoot themselves in the foot if they want something more meaningful.
There are many forms of physical intimacy that don’t involve sex: kissing, cuddling, hugging, holding hands, massage, etc. There’s no reason to focus on one over the other. Majority of all healthy relationships have a combination of physical, mental, emotional intimacy.
Exactly ! I completly relate to what you said. My sister for example can't find a good guy because they've sexual intercourse the same day of the first date everytime, i kept telling her that if she removes the sex of the table, for more than a week, she'll be able to see if the dude is really interested or not. She told me that she wasn't stupid and knew this but still, she can't resist their sweet words and tchit tchat, like she's kinda easy to bait... She thinks sex isn't the primary motivation when you go on a date, but gosh, i wish it was true for most mens... Because most of them want the cake, and only the cake.
I agree in some ways. But i really don’t have time for games. If we connect, I am going to show u who I am and how I love. If someone can’t give what I put into a relationship and make it just as meaningful for me, then I will let that person go.
Yeah, it's seems like a race to the bottom: who gives less. Unless you're hysterical about always being the one who gives - then it makes sense to relax.
Personally, I can't be physically intimate with someone I don't have a connection or some type of chemistry with. Not anymore at least. Random hookups & strictly-dickly, no matter how good looking, have always felt insanely bland, boring & totally hollow compared to sex with someone whom I share that little extra with. Guaranteed, I can handle my own in mere moments & move on with my life, zero nonsense attached. So either give me the intimate, passionate, rolling around, no-surface-is-safe, naked-snuggle goods or keep those filthy paws off my lacy drawers. Hookups or giving it up early usually aren't worth the time or effort.
It gives me hope to see so many self-respecting women in the comment section talking about the importance of dedicated relationships over one-night stands. As a man with serious life ambitions, it can feel hopeless living in this senseless hook-up culture where people are praised for how many people they've randomly slept with.
Oh god, these comments are not the vibe lol. It’s not the woman’s responsibility to remove sex from the equation in order for someone to actually try getting to know them/see them as valuable. That’s just further justifying men going after whatever they want WHEN they want but women have to play games in order to avoid being mistreated. (Not saying that’s what Matthew means but some comments definitely are) bottom line…if a guy is so mentally controlled by his physical urges that he can’t even go out on a date and give each woman an equal chance regardless of if she sleeps with him or not, he is either not worth your time due to 1) being brain dead and totally immature or 2) having a serious double standard probably due to how he grew up. Even then, sometimes things don’t work out ladies, that doesn’t mean you should become afraid of sex while men do whatever they want. Some of these comments def want you to give up and adapt that mindset. The only source you should be listening to is your instincts and your body with what you want.
@@Laurenchappell91 Hey girl, I think if he’s the guy you don’t have to worry about what he’s focused on. If he initiates hooking up that’s when you can say you wanna move slower and that even though you had fun hooking up you wanna take your time getting to know him now. I actually have a small dating advice channel of my own if you wanna check it out, it’s Emily Rose Dawson. Not a plug lol but I’ve discussed similar subjects to what you’re saying to the best of my ability x
Also with chemistry- those kisses. You can just tell with your partner’s taste, nothing maniacal where you want to tear each other’s clothes. Just pure, sweet kisses that leave you wanting for more. Naturally something else would follow, but there’s no pressure.
Hi sir...me and bf keep arguing bcoz of his misunderstandings...and today he said that I don't deserve his love...I was broken hearing this...I tried my best to be a good gf...but what did I do wrong? Why am I the villan?💔
I don’t know what the arguments are about, but people who care about you ask you questions so that they understand better and don’t hurt you. Manipulative people who don’t have your well-being in mind, they make it about you and tell you the problem is you. Unless you’re being demanding and unreasonable, be aware of manipulation and that it’s something unhealthy and not a sign of a good relationship built on caring and respect
Just recently in this situation with a friend who only wants to hookup and not looking for a relationship, but I really like her alot, and have had a crush on her for years. And I guess I felt happy on the moment that she decided she wanted to just be fwb but at the same time I really want to date her
Oh my god, matt solved it for me in his first sentence, chemistry isnt the same as deep attraction. Ive been pining over someone i had chemistry with, but there was no deep attraction.
Hey Matthew! Hope you’ve had lovely day, your videos are amazing ✨ So I know there’s like million chance that you’ll answer to this, so I’ll try to pray my best that you do 🙏🏽 I’ve got an idea for you to talk about, which I’d believe helps your audience also. Let’s begin with a story: I’m 25 years old, loving life, having lots of love around me and just, feeling happy often. There’s just one thing: I don’t feel like I could ever find someone to be in a relationship with me. Why? I’ve got chronic illness, been sick like 3-4 years now. I got diagnose 1 year ago, and since then, I haven’t been dating almost at all. My illness is invisible (which means I hear more than often “you can’t be sick you look like that”), but it’s affecting my life a lot, also with dating. Many men are SUPER interested about me, hear about my illness and run. This has, obviously, affected my confidence, no matter how many videos I see about how it’s a blessing they run away. Your videos always make me feel a little bit better when you say it’s good that they run, yet it still hurts. They run because I’m ill. I can’t change that. I’ve given up some of my dreams, doctors have told that most of the career paths are impossible for me, I might be in bed for days because of migraine, fever, nausea, fatigue.. let’s say I have “normal” days, but then again I’m sick OFTEN. I cant lie, this affects my life a lot. Yet, my mind has never been this happy, because I’ve seen life isn’t something to take for granted. You can walk? That’s awesome. You can go to work AND then gym?? That’s a miracle. So in my life, I’ve realized that little things in life make it worth living. Before I got chronically ill I was going to fitness competition. Lets be Honest: whoever i wanted, I got. Dating was easy, being confident was easy. My life was (what seems now to be a miracle) partying, swimming, dancing, working out, traveling. I could work 10hour workdays and now 4hour gives me burn out. I was worse at being human though, I probably couldn’t say anything to someone who’s sick and lost things in life, because I had it all & was just busy enjoying it. So I can see this illness has changed me to be better. (Btw - seeing your video I realized I had built my life and myself with me being able to exercise/be fit/be human DOING, not human BEING. I had this one thing, one leg under the table, and when it wasn’t there anymore, it all crashed) My point is, it’s easy to be confident when everything is going great and life is smiling. I’m not feeling confident at all nowadays WITH men. I don’t even feel like no one could handle this (let’s be honest again, dating is hard for many, and it’s even harder when you’ve got chronic illness and multiple more diagnosis). I don’t know When to tell men about my condition? What is the right way? When to let them see me at my worst (I don’t mean mentally, because no illness gives you right to be rude etc, I mean physically) How to even talk about this, when my instinct is to hide it? (Most guys ghost me when they hear my situation) How to love myself, deep in my core, with illness that’s taken so much? I would really really appreciate if you would make video about how and when to talk the HARD STUFF in dating. Many of us have these, some have physical illness like me, some mental, some both, let’s be honest, but the dating material seems always to be for “healthy” people, and I get it. Still, we, who have conditions that change our lives no matter what we think, how positive we are and how much we pray, need also help. I realize these are the cards I’ve been given. So I’m doing everything in my power to help others. This diagnose I have comes with a stigma, so I’m trying to help people with it, I speak about this publicly, been in newspapers, heard people coming at me saying “thank you, without you I would never speak about this with my friends/got diagnose at all”, so I’m kinda happy. I help people, I do support calls, I made Instagram just for me talking about this illness & life, I’m trying to do the best with the cards I have and make me and life a little bit better and more kind. How to tell about a day, when I’m laying in my bed, sick, when it’s midday, sun is shining, birds are singing, children are laughing, and I can’t get out because I’m so sick? How to even begin to love myself at that day? Love from Finland, Lapland, from pintahengitys (Instagram)
I do hope you get a reply as I feel you have a valid point... Sometimes in life we may not be in a great place physically, mentally due to illness. You made some great points when sharing your personal situation and I can understand how difficult it could be to share what’s really going on with a new or possible friendship... Dating is hard enough and so much pressure, I do hope you find love or some answers to your questions. For now keep enjoying the simple things of life and take care of your health and well being. All the best 🙏
I'm glad you've gone from getting whoever you want, to an actual challenge. Maybe now you know a fraction of how 99% of men feel when they try and get a girl like your entitled ass
I have a question I m one of those guys who you call "incapable" of doing anything when it comes to social interaction. So, what advice do you have for guys like me? How do I become "capable"? What do I need to work on in my life? I really need a good advice!🙏
He has a vid about flirting or something thats a good start. But most of all read some books as well there are a lot about this that are good books. But its all about courage practice experience and just being yourself. Be true to yourself and dont try to be someone your not you will find the right person at the right time at right place at the right moment. Good luck
@@dobredaniel5637 and thats the problem bcoz you dont like yourself and it will show. Love yourself first then the rest will flow. Increase your skills. Im a nerd but im very social i love myself and i have no problems talking to people as long as i avoid talking bout tech, philosophy and or being too technical. I go with humor so try a bit. Experiment go out and just talk to a stranger with practise you will learn 🤷🏻♀️ matthew have nice tips to flirt check it out 😊👍🏼
Cultivate the right mindset. Now what the hell does that mean: Do you have trouble finding purpose in life? Are there some ideas/goals you wished you had explored but put aside seemingly forever? Translation: have something in your life that is MORE IMPORTANT than women That’s just step one. Go to this guy’s channel for more in depth information: ruclips.net/channel/UC0it1cu-mt_IcvLTQ4CWcHw
Hi Matthew, I hope you'll read my comment and maybe even make a video about this particular topic. I've watched so many of your videos and they've been very helpful as I recently had a break up. This is my case: I've been dating this guy for almost 4 years who turned out to be a man child. I was so blinded to that because in my 28 years I've never experienced such thing. He pushed to make our relationship public fairly early, since I was sceptical. He's two years younger than me. We were both still studying at that time. He dropped out and remained unemployed for two years straight. I thought he was having a burn out and didn't push him until I had enough after two years. I would say he loved me deeply and I still believe he's a good hearted person even though one of the reasons why we split is because he started having contact with a girl from his past again. Who, according to him "might have answers two some questions he had concerning his life, because they're like minded" after I've had enough and broke up, he seemed to be finally free to pursue a closer relationship (friendship according to him) with her. Fair enough I guess. But I've been devasted because I invested so much, more then I should have and I know that now. He also had an incestuous relationship with his mom, she was all over our relationship and didn't want to let go of him. I know you might ask why I'm still holding on, I'm not. I'm just puzzled. I know he's genuine and I know so was his love for me, most of the things I critized he agreed with and knew weren't good but he struggled to make changes. He was full of guilt and felt like a failure. I helped him out in many ways, tried to help him getting his driving license for example but he never went and the money I invested was gone. That's one out of many things. The lack of drive was unheard of. My family tried to support him too but getting him a job etc. We all think he has great potential. He's been very cold to me and seems to have moved on fairly easy. I was in the hospital because of an heart issue and he avoided me even then. I just don't understand what is going on with him. I know he's not a bad person and I probably should be angry with him because of the promises he broke but I just can't. He's a good hearted person even if he failed to show that to me by deeds. I just wonder if he'll ever know how much I believed in him and was willing to help him succeed. I know I ended up nagging too much, but I would've felt like I betrayed myself if I enabled him in all that.
Im just gonna give you my opinion okay? First of he isnt the right one for you. And when you meet the right one you will understand why it didnt work with others. Second you cannot change a person who doesnt want want to change. I think its either he havent found his purpose yet or you all were spoiling him. Maybe what you all guys wanted for him isnt what he want for himself. Ill be frank dont defend him. People like thar should be left alone bcoz u can never change a person unless he decide to. You should have probably taken him on a therapy or find a personal coach maybe he is suffering on depression or much deeper. But like i said my opinion. Sometimes we can love someone so much and that it might be too much. Let him go. He isnt for you.
@@stefycute6792 you're totally right. But he always told me he desired to change and that he knew he could do better but he didn't know how. I suggested therapy or at least help from professionals many times. But he refused. He said he wanted to do some big changes in 2022, I feel like maybe I should've been a little more patient. But I was already suffering from the effects all this had on my own life
So here's my two cents on this, I haven't read the other person commenting beneath this yet since I wanted to comment on my own experience first before reading further. You would be surprised how similar our situations are. And for me this happened 7 months ago. I had immense problems and trauma afterwards and still have some triggers. I'm working on myself but the damage done at the time. Is irreversible. And I don’t wish this on anyone. I know for a fact how this has affected me as a person. But once you truly work on yourself and ACTUALLY move on. You will see why it never worked out. I didn't realize until after the break up that he was always jealous of me. It's crazy but I had this my whole life. So for him to love bomb me and then destroy me, gave me even more trust issues. Anyhow, I'm myself more than ever. And I thank him for showing me that I stayed way longer than I should have and that loving someone doesn't mean allowing all this bad behavior. At the end of the day, we all have a choice. So I ended up letting him disrespect me. Never again, no matter what, I won't ever let my self love be destroyed like this. If someone says you need to love them unconditionally, run the opposite way. He wants you to be a parent. Many many red flags I learned in this relationship. And I'm thankful for them, but god. Was it painful... But here i am, at the other side. Way better than ever before. Blessed 😊 Wish you lots of luck on your journey too 🤍
Stop wondering about him. You may NEVER get the answers, closure, clarity, or reasons as to why he is the way he is, why he did or didn’t do something, or why you were involved in the situation in the way you were. Fact is, his actions and words did not line up. Take him at his actions. Don’t question anything about him, because those answers you’re searching for, or for yourself. And as long as you keep wondering about him, he can get back to you at anytime he wants. You need to focus on you. Try to figure out why you’re so caught up on figuring him out, and work that out within yourself. He is an entirely separate individual from you, and frankly the reasons for who he is and why he does what he does or not only none of your business, but you may never know. Focus on yourself and truly let that man go
Why are you blaming yourself for a Man who treated you like SHIT? Didn't work for two years. Cheated. Abandoned you in the Hospital. Move forward not backwards. Give someone else a chance to love you. Better to be SINGLE and happy then in a relationship and MISERABLE!
What he's implying whoever i loved never had anything physical they left me because of that I don't regret it but my point is it's quite confusing to know someone's intentions
Sebenernya bisa keliatan dari awal kenal dng cowo itu niat iseng atau serius. Dari cara berkenalan pasti cowo yg serius itu sopan, ngehargain cewe biarpun baru kenal chatt jg engga lebay, obrolan nya pun bukan basa-basi doank pasti lebih berbobot ky ngobrolin keadaan skrg dia single n mencari pendamping atau masa depan jg dibahas misal target nikah, hal” yg serius tapi engga kaku. Klo cowo yg cuma iseng pasti banyak nanya hal” yg engga penting, ky yg mau sensus pdhal engga peduli cuma kepo doank atau buat bahan basa-basi dia aja, bahkan ada jg yg tiba” kirim foto vulgar (ky gtu lngsung block aja, engga sudi bnget siapa jg yg mau lihat -_-). Terus klo cowo yg serius mau ngajak ktemuan pasti ketemuan nya jg ditempat yg ramai sperti cafe atau tempat ngopi, utk pertama x ktemu jg bukan masalah cewe harus dibayarin, tp biasa nya cowo yg niat serius pasti engga akan hitung”an sama duit sgitu yg penting bisa ktemu langsung dng cewe nya n bisa mengenal lebih dekat. Beda nya klo cowo iseng pasti ktemuan di tmpat” yg mengarah sepi/private. Udah selesai makan” n ngobrol” jg ky aneh pasti tatapan nya mencurigakan, trus klo si cowo iseng ngebayarin makan/minum ky raut wajahnya kesel gtu ky engga ikhlas, trus bilangnya cewe itu cuma mau dibayarin makan doank sama cowo -_# hadeuh pak... baru jg bayar makanan yg engga seberapa gmana menanggung biaya hidup, biarpun cewe berincome jg bisa bayar masing” tapi dilihat kesungguhan cowo itu dari saat ketemuan langsung n gmana memperlakukan cewe klo udah ktemuan, biasanya jg pengen nya si cowo iseng lngsung ke fisik, mendingan lngsung tinggalin n block no kontak nya, klo dia udah terlanjur tau alamat rumah krn ngejemput mending pasang cctv dskitar rumah jadi si cowo iseng itu engga berani macem” ke area deket rumah. Last but not least klo cowo yg serius pasti engga sungkan ktemu keluarga cewe, bgitu jg sebaliknya. Cewe nya jg diajak ketemu dng keluarga nya dia, diajak ke acara” keluarga dia, klo keluarganya menyambut baik pasti lamaran n pernikahan akan cepat dilaksanakan tapi klo trnyata keluarga ada yg kurang cocok biasanya sih jadi ujian baru lagi. Manusia berencana n berusaha tp Tuhan yg menentukan, smoga diberikan yg terbaik 🙏
If I could the best thing I’d buy for my little sister is chastity belt, but realistically I’m just being the best man I can be as far being a good man and hopefully she accepts that as the standards can’t have my little sister making the same mistakes our mother made. If you want to be seen a valuable keep your legs close ladies or just don’t be loose with it.
![DDG & G Herbo - Nosey [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/I9Ra0Zc2NlQ/mqdefault.jpg)
For me i cant establish a physical connection with out an emotional connection. It's all based on trust for me.
Like a demisexual.
love that, me too
Agree. Also frustrating that hookup culture is making a lot of ppl think it is a norm to just get physical shortly after meeting someone. It explains why some ppl go through a new person every few weeks or months. You can’t truly know someone without taking time to build emotional connection. People so often dispose others when they don’t even try to work things out and instead find a new person to replace the former. Sigh…
@@Enchanteralle i think nowadays its an expectation everything is rushed. No wonder relationships are short lived and dont last.
@@francescaspencer1700 yup, instant gratification. I have met ppl who say they want a committed relationship, yet they don’t have the skills because they have always had casual relationships. Instead of reflecting on themselves, they reason with no chemistry. Uh huh…and I don’t even know who they are…
100%
Best way to know it is more than a hook-up is don't hook-up! Lol
Eureka
Genius
Um no actually that doesn't mean it couldn't get deeper.
Sounds like low key slut shaming. And something can not get deeper even if you don’t have sex. You could be an emotional cushion for someone.
And gravity goes downwards
I hate dating.
Me too
The No.1 way to establish passed the physical connection is to prioritise 'emotional' time with him instead of just the 'physical' time.
Because of how a guys mind works (wondering when do i get to have physical intimacy with her) as a woman its important to prioritise spending time with a guy where sex is off the table otherwise that's going to be the only thing on his mind whenever he meets you.
If he's only thinking about the potential of sex on the date with you, he's not thinking about who you are, what your dreams are and whether you both are a right fit.
Remove sex from the table on dates and thats what he'll focus on, who YOU are :)
Thanks Matthew, always a inspiration for my channel!
@@majrminer No not every woman is aware of this, that's why it's important to know so they don't shoot themselves in the foot if they want something more meaningful.
Worse if he then makes excuses not to meet or if he does, he knows its a matter of time until we hook up
@@majrminer I prefer 'Thank goodness we have men who can be honest to women' 😎
There are many forms of physical intimacy that don’t involve sex: kissing, cuddling, hugging, holding hands, massage, etc.
There’s no reason to focus on one over the other. Majority of all healthy relationships have a combination of physical, mental, emotional intimacy.
Exactly ! I completly relate to what you said. My sister for example can't find a good guy because they've sexual intercourse the same day of the first date everytime, i kept telling her that if she removes the sex of the table, for more than a week, she'll be able to see if the dude is really interested or not. She told me that she wasn't stupid and knew this but still, she can't resist their sweet words and tchit tchat, like she's kinda easy to bait... She thinks sex isn't the primary motivation when you go on a date, but gosh, i wish it was true for most mens... Because most of them want the cake, and only the cake.
I agree in some ways. But i really don’t have time for games. If we connect, I am going to show u who I am and how I love. If someone can’t give what I put into a relationship and make it just as meaningful for me, then I will let that person go.
This is so me!
how do u let them go non-rude way?
Yeah, it's seems like a race to the bottom: who gives less. Unless you're hysterical about always being the one who gives - then it makes sense to relax.
Stop having SEX until your in a RELATIONSHIP! Dating doesn't include SEX!
Personally, I can't be physically intimate with someone I don't have a connection or some type of chemistry with. Not anymore at least. Random hookups & strictly-dickly, no matter how good looking, have always felt insanely bland, boring & totally hollow compared to sex with someone whom I share that little extra with. Guaranteed, I can handle my own in mere moments & move on with my life, zero nonsense attached. So either give me the intimate, passionate, rolling around, no-surface-is-safe, naked-snuggle goods or keep those filthy paws off my lacy drawers. Hookups or giving it up early usually aren't worth the time or effort.
Lacy drawers .. brilliant ! 🤣🧡
deep attraction: formula 1.chemistry/physical animalistic attraction 2. Perceived value. 3. Perceived challenge 4. Perceived connection.
The difference between a friend and a boyfriend is physical attraction.
It's also LOVE and romance. You don't get that with a friend.
It gives me hope to see so many self-respecting women in the comment section talking about the importance of dedicated relationships over one-night stands. As a man with serious life ambitions, it can feel hopeless living in this senseless hook-up culture where people are praised for how many people they've randomly slept with.
Oh god, these comments are not the vibe lol. It’s not the woman’s responsibility to remove sex from the equation in order for someone to actually try getting to know them/see them as valuable. That’s just further justifying men going after whatever they want WHEN they want but women have to play games in order to avoid being mistreated. (Not saying that’s what Matthew means but some comments definitely are) bottom line…if a guy is so mentally controlled by his physical urges that he can’t even go out on a date and give each woman an equal chance regardless of if she sleeps with him or not, he is either not worth your time due to 1) being brain dead and totally immature or 2) having a serious double standard probably due to how he grew up. Even then, sometimes things don’t work out ladies, that doesn’t mean you should become afraid of sex while men do whatever they want. Some of these comments def want you to give up and adapt that mindset. The only source you should be listening to is your instincts and your body with what you want.
@@Laurenchappell91 Hey girl, I think if he’s the guy you don’t have to worry about what he’s focused on. If he initiates hooking up that’s when you can say you wanna move slower and that even though you had fun hooking up you wanna take your time getting to know him now. I actually have a small dating advice channel of my own if you wanna check it out, it’s Emily Rose Dawson. Not a plug lol but I’ve discussed similar subjects to what you’re saying to the best of my ability x
@@Laurenchappell91 *the right guy
You really resonate with me, God bless you and your beautiful family....=))))))))
Just what I needed to hear and learn. Thank you Matthew
Also with chemistry- those kisses. You can just tell with your partner’s taste, nothing maniacal where you want to tear each other’s clothes. Just pure, sweet kisses that leave you wanting for more. Naturally something else would follow, but there’s no pressure.
Hi sir...me and bf keep arguing bcoz of his misunderstandings...and today he said that I don't deserve his love...I was broken hearing this...I tried my best to be a good gf...but what did I do wrong? Why am I the villan?💔
I don’t know what the arguments are about, but people who care about you ask you questions so that they understand better and don’t hurt you. Manipulative people who don’t have your well-being in mind, they make it about you and tell you the problem is you. Unless you’re being demanding and unreasonable, be aware of manipulation and that it’s something unhealthy and not a sign of a good relationship built on caring and respect
I'm in love with this guy. All he says. All he is!!!
Just recently in this situation with a friend who only wants to hookup and not looking for a relationship, but I really like her alot, and have had a crush on her for years. And I guess I felt happy on the moment that she decided she wanted to just be fwb but at the same time I really want to date her
She’s a lucky girl. Lol
What about the people who are super nice and just help because for them it’s what is right
But what if thats your personality? To care? Its just normal for you? Why should it be a problem or suspicious? I dont get it.
I feel healed by your advice
Word salad...state your intentions then discuss the parameters if the other person is down
This video could have been 5seconds long. How do you makes sure it's more than a Hook up,don't Hook up.🤷🏻♂️
Oh my god, matt solved it for me in his first sentence, chemistry isnt the same as deep attraction. Ive been pining over someone i had chemistry with, but there was no deep attraction.
ill give Matthew Hussey some emotional connection!
This is great for women lol how does a guy go about this? Ive never known how or what to say. Im a nervous nelly
So how is it you can have all the qualities they want and someone else doesn't and you still aren't the choice. He said we were to similar
Sounds like he's broken. You're better off without him.
Hey Matthew! Hope you’ve had lovely day, your videos are amazing ✨ So I know there’s like million chance that you’ll answer to this, so I’ll try to pray my best that you do 🙏🏽 I’ve got an idea for you to talk about, which I’d believe helps your audience also. Let’s begin with a story:
I’m 25 years old, loving life, having lots of love around me and just, feeling happy often. There’s just one thing: I don’t feel like I could ever find someone to be in a relationship with me. Why?
I’ve got chronic illness, been sick like 3-4 years now. I got diagnose 1 year ago, and since then, I haven’t been dating almost at all. My illness is invisible (which means I hear more than often “you can’t be sick you look like that”), but it’s affecting my life a lot, also with dating. Many men are SUPER interested about me, hear about my illness and run. This has, obviously, affected my confidence, no matter how many videos I see about how it’s a blessing they run away. Your videos always make me feel a little bit better when you say it’s good that they run, yet it still hurts. They run because I’m ill. I can’t change that.
I’ve given up some of my dreams, doctors have told that most of the career paths are impossible for me, I might be in bed for days because of migraine, fever, nausea, fatigue.. let’s say I have “normal” days, but then again I’m sick OFTEN. I cant lie, this affects my life a lot. Yet, my mind has never been this happy, because I’ve seen life isn’t something to take for granted. You can walk? That’s awesome. You can go to work AND then gym?? That’s a miracle. So in my life, I’ve realized that little things in life make it worth living.
Before I got chronically ill I was going to fitness competition. Lets be Honest: whoever i wanted, I got. Dating was easy, being confident was easy. My life was (what seems now to be a miracle) partying, swimming, dancing, working out, traveling. I could work 10hour workdays and now 4hour gives me burn out. I was worse at being human though, I probably couldn’t say anything to someone who’s sick and lost things in life, because I had it all & was just busy enjoying it. So I can see this illness has changed me to be better. (Btw - seeing your video I realized I had built my life and myself with me being able to exercise/be fit/be human DOING, not human BEING. I had this one thing, one leg under the table, and when it wasn’t there anymore, it all crashed)
My point is, it’s easy to be confident when everything is going great and life is smiling. I’m not feeling confident at all nowadays WITH men. I don’t even feel like no one could handle this (let’s be honest again, dating is hard for many, and it’s even harder when you’ve got chronic illness and multiple more diagnosis).
I don’t know
When to tell men about my condition?
What is the right way?
When to let them see me at my worst (I don’t mean mentally, because no illness gives you right to be rude etc, I mean physically)
How to even talk about this, when my instinct is to hide it? (Most guys ghost me when they hear my situation)
How to love myself, deep in my core, with illness that’s taken so much?
I would really really appreciate if you would make video about how and when to talk the HARD STUFF in dating. Many of us have these, some have physical illness like me, some mental, some both, let’s be honest, but the dating material seems always to be for “healthy” people, and I get it. Still, we, who have conditions that change our lives no matter what we think, how positive we are and how much we pray, need also help.
I realize these are the cards I’ve been given. So I’m doing everything in my power to help others. This diagnose I have comes with a stigma, so I’m trying to help people with it, I speak about this publicly, been in newspapers, heard people coming at me saying “thank you, without you I would never speak about this with my friends/got diagnose at all”, so I’m kinda happy. I help people, I do support calls, I made Instagram just for me talking about this illness & life, I’m trying to do the best with the cards I have and make me and life a little bit better and more kind.
How to tell about a day, when I’m laying in my bed, sick, when it’s midday, sun is shining, birds are singing, children are laughing, and I can’t get out because I’m so sick? How to even begin to love myself at that day?
Love from Finland, Lapland, from pintahengitys (Instagram)
I do hope you get a reply as I feel you have a valid point...
Sometimes in life we may not be in a great place physically, mentally due to illness.
You made some great points when sharing your personal situation and I can understand how difficult it could be to share what’s really going on with a new or possible friendship...
Dating is hard enough and so much pressure, I do hope you find love or some answers to your questions.
For now keep enjoying the simple things of life and take care of your health and well being.
All the best 🙏
I'm glad you've gone from getting whoever you want, to an actual challenge. Maybe now you know a fraction of how 99% of men feel when they try and get a girl like your entitled ass
I have a question
I m one of those guys who you call "incapable" of doing anything when it comes to social interaction. So, what advice do you have for guys like me? How do I become "capable"? What do I need to work on in my life? I really need a good advice!🙏
He has a vid about flirting or something thats a good start. But most of all read some books as well there are a lot about this that are good books. But its all about courage practice experience and just being yourself. Be true to yourself and dont try to be someone your not you will find the right person at the right time at right place at the right moment. Good luck
@@stefycute6792 bro I am being myself and THAT s the probelm!😅😂
I don t like myself I need to change!
Thanks for the advice though.
@@dobredaniel5637 and thats the problem bcoz you dont like yourself and it will show. Love yourself first then the rest will flow. Increase your skills. Im a nerd but im very social i love myself and i have no problems talking to people as long as i avoid talking bout tech, philosophy and or being too technical. I go with humor so try a bit. Experiment go out and just talk to a stranger with practise you will learn 🤷🏻♀️ matthew have nice tips to flirt check it out 😊👍🏼
@@dobredaniel5637 ps btw im a sis 😅
Cultivate the right mindset.
Now what the hell does that mean:
Do you have trouble finding purpose in life?
Are there some ideas/goals you wished you had explored but put aside seemingly forever?
Translation: have something in your life that is MORE IMPORTANT than women
That’s just step one.
Go to this guy’s channel for more in depth information:
ruclips.net/channel/UC0it1cu-mt_IcvLTQ4CWcHw
Dang ! Was hoping to hear more. Your videos are usually longer
Wow I am really early, all I wanna say is, thank you Matthew, you are a great teacher
Hi Matthew, I hope you'll read my comment and maybe even make a video about this particular topic. I've watched so many of your videos and they've been very helpful as I recently had a break up. This is my case: I've been dating this guy for almost 4 years who turned out to be a man child. I was so blinded to that because in my 28 years I've never experienced such thing. He pushed to make our relationship public fairly early, since I was sceptical. He's two years younger than me. We were both still studying at that time. He dropped out and remained unemployed for two years straight. I thought he was having a burn out and didn't push him until I had enough after two years. I would say he loved me deeply and I still believe he's a good hearted person even though one of the reasons why we split is because he started having contact with a girl from his past again. Who, according to him "might have answers two some questions he had concerning his life, because they're like minded" after I've had enough and broke up, he seemed to be finally free to pursue a closer relationship (friendship according to him) with her. Fair enough I guess. But I've been devasted because I invested so much, more then I should have and I know that now. He also had an incestuous relationship with his mom, she was all over our relationship and didn't want to let go of him.
I know you might ask why I'm still holding on, I'm not. I'm just puzzled. I know he's genuine and I know so was his love for me, most of the things I critized he agreed with and knew weren't good but he struggled to make changes. He was full of guilt and felt like a failure. I helped him out in many ways, tried to help him getting his driving license for example but he never went and the money I invested was gone. That's one out of many things. The lack of drive was unheard of. My family tried to support him too but getting him a job etc. We all think he has great potential. He's been very cold to me and seems to have moved on fairly easy. I was in the hospital because of an heart issue and he avoided me even then. I just don't understand what is going on with him. I know he's not a bad person and I probably should be angry with him because of the promises he broke but I just can't. He's a good hearted person even if he failed to show that to me by deeds. I just wonder if he'll ever know how much I believed in him and was willing to help him succeed. I know I ended up nagging too much, but I would've felt like I betrayed myself if I enabled him in all that.
Im just gonna give you my opinion okay? First of he isnt the right one for you. And when you meet the right one you will understand why it didnt work with others. Second you cannot change a person who doesnt want want to change. I think its either he havent found his purpose yet or you all were spoiling him. Maybe what you all guys wanted for him isnt what he want for himself. Ill be frank dont defend him. People like thar should be left alone bcoz u can never change a person unless he decide to. You should have probably taken him on a therapy or find a personal coach maybe he is suffering on depression or much deeper. But like i said my opinion. Sometimes we can love someone so much and that it might be too much. Let him go. He isnt for you.
@@stefycute6792 you're totally right. But he always told me he desired to change and that he knew he could do better but he didn't know how. I suggested therapy or at least help from professionals many times. But he refused. He said he wanted to do some big changes in 2022, I feel like maybe I should've been a little more patient. But I was already suffering from the effects all this had on my own life
So here's my two cents on this, I haven't read the other person commenting beneath this yet since I wanted to comment on my own experience first before reading further. You would be surprised how similar our situations are. And for me this happened 7 months ago. I had immense problems and trauma afterwards and still have some triggers. I'm working on myself but the damage done at the time. Is irreversible. And I don’t wish this on anyone. I know for a fact how this has affected me as a person. But once you truly work on yourself and ACTUALLY move on. You will see why it never worked out. I didn't realize until after the break up that he was always jealous of me. It's crazy but I had this my whole life. So for him to love bomb me and then destroy me, gave me even more trust issues. Anyhow, I'm myself more than ever. And I thank him for showing me that I stayed way longer than I should have and that loving someone doesn't mean allowing all this bad behavior. At the end of the day, we all have a choice. So I ended up letting him disrespect me. Never again, no matter what, I won't ever let my self love be destroyed like this. If someone says you need to love them unconditionally, run the opposite way. He wants you to be a parent. Many many red flags I learned in this relationship. And I'm thankful for them, but god. Was it painful... But here i am, at the other side. Way better than ever before. Blessed 😊 Wish you lots of luck on your journey too 🤍
Stop wondering about him. You may NEVER get the answers, closure, clarity, or reasons as to why he is the way he is, why he did or didn’t do something, or why you were involved in the situation in the way you were. Fact is, his actions and words did not line up. Take him at his actions. Don’t question anything about him, because those answers you’re searching for, or for yourself. And as long as you keep wondering about him, he can get back to you at anytime he wants. You need to focus on you. Try to figure out why you’re so caught up on figuring him out, and work that out within yourself. He is an entirely separate individual from you, and frankly the reasons for who he is and why he does what he does or not only none of your business, but you may never know. Focus on yourself and truly let that man go
Why are you blaming yourself for a Man who treated you like SHIT? Didn't work for two years. Cheated. Abandoned you in the Hospital. Move forward not backwards. Give someone else a chance to love you. Better to be SINGLE and happy then in a relationship and MISERABLE!
Thanks Matt. This is one of your best video due to its info! 👌💛😉
Perceived challenge was bang on👌🏼
What he's implying whoever i loved never had anything physical they left me because of that I don't regret it but my point is it's quite confusing to know someone's intentions
Stop man💁🏼♀️
He said physical CHEMISTRY and deeper CONNECTION. Let's learn, mind and use the correct terms to spread awareness, not mess.
My friend and casual dating partner doesnt give any communication on how they feel towards me and making me a priority. Now they arent speaking to me
Sebenernya bisa keliatan dari awal kenal dng cowo itu niat iseng atau serius. Dari cara berkenalan pasti cowo yg serius itu sopan, ngehargain cewe biarpun baru kenal chatt jg engga lebay, obrolan nya pun bukan basa-basi doank pasti lebih berbobot ky ngobrolin keadaan skrg dia single n mencari pendamping atau masa depan jg dibahas misal target nikah, hal” yg serius tapi engga kaku. Klo cowo yg cuma iseng pasti banyak nanya hal” yg engga penting, ky yg mau sensus pdhal engga peduli cuma kepo doank atau buat bahan basa-basi dia aja, bahkan ada jg yg tiba” kirim foto vulgar (ky gtu lngsung block aja, engga sudi bnget siapa jg yg mau lihat -_-). Terus klo cowo yg serius mau ngajak ktemuan pasti ketemuan nya jg ditempat yg ramai sperti cafe atau tempat ngopi, utk pertama x ktemu jg bukan masalah cewe harus dibayarin, tp biasa nya cowo yg niat serius pasti engga akan hitung”an sama duit sgitu yg penting bisa ktemu langsung dng cewe nya n bisa mengenal lebih dekat. Beda nya klo cowo iseng pasti ktemuan di tmpat” yg mengarah sepi/private. Udah selesai makan” n ngobrol” jg ky aneh pasti tatapan nya mencurigakan, trus klo si cowo iseng ngebayarin makan/minum ky raut wajahnya kesel gtu ky engga ikhlas, trus bilangnya cewe itu cuma mau dibayarin makan doank sama cowo -_# hadeuh pak... baru jg bayar makanan yg engga seberapa gmana menanggung biaya hidup, biarpun cewe berincome jg bisa bayar masing” tapi dilihat kesungguhan cowo itu dari saat ketemuan langsung n gmana memperlakukan cewe klo udah ktemuan, biasanya jg pengen nya si cowo iseng lngsung ke fisik, mendingan lngsung tinggalin n block no kontak nya, klo dia udah terlanjur tau alamat rumah krn ngejemput mending pasang cctv dskitar rumah jadi si cowo iseng itu engga berani macem” ke area deket rumah. Last but not least klo cowo yg serius pasti engga sungkan ktemu keluarga cewe, bgitu jg sebaliknya. Cewe nya jg diajak ketemu dng keluarga nya dia, diajak ke acara” keluarga dia, klo keluarganya menyambut baik pasti lamaran n pernikahan akan cepat dilaksanakan tapi klo trnyata keluarga ada yg kurang cocok biasanya sih jadi ujian baru lagi. Manusia berencana n berusaha tp Tuhan yg menentukan, smoga diberikan yg terbaik 🙏
Matthew ,l like the way you hook me up on your talking.Cool guy ...
Right before the enlightenment * this all came from GUd, now we have changed the words but it it the same shyt* o.o
it’s hard to ignore down there throbbing when you think of him and vice versa
Is friend with benefits a hook up?
Yep
explains everything!
Sex first relationship years later
Matthew I’m based in London is there a way I can get some one on one advice from you please?
Hello Matthew!! Met you in Chicago like 7 years ago💝💝💝
Queria legendas em português
Is it too much to pay for a first date alone?
If I could the best thing I’d buy for my little sister is chastity belt, but realistically I’m just being the best man I can be as far being a good man and hopefully she accepts that as the standards can’t have my little sister making the same mistakes our mother made. If you want to be seen a valuable keep your legs close ladies or just don’t be loose with it.
Wow this is one of the most disgusting comments I’ve ever read on here
@@JessicaDante yes, but realistic too.
@@JessicaDante Maybe you can explain why you disagree with my statement?.
I agree with u idol😊
Hi Matthew! I have a lot of your programs and would like to look up the attraction formula and re-watch it! Where can I find it again? What program?
Oh well I’d love a casual hook up with Matthew 😂😂
Bet your future significant other would be extatic to know that comment of yours exists in the vortex of the internet. 🤦♂
is that ironman behind him ?
lol 😂