A Different Way To Look At Failure
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- Опубликовано: 1 июл 2024
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I like how free and open this channel has become, it's refreshing to watch content that isn't always focused around some kind of algorithmic optimization. Failure is always a tricky subject to tackle, but your simple drawing did a great job at helping me visualize what's truly going on. btw, I loved the overhead camera angle!
True
The Buddhists say that any time we suffer misfortune, two arrows fly our way. The first arrow is the actual bad event, which can can, indeed, cause pain. The second arrow is the suffering, which we put upon ourselves.
A different perspective on the same insight. Short, simple, and helpful reminder Nathaniel! :)
That's brilliant!
This story is interesting. I want to keep that in mind 🏹🏹
Yes, I agree. In ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which is an evidence based psychological therapy, which also has parts of its origin in Eastern philosophies) they say you have 'clean pain' and 'dirty pain' to pinpoint the difference between the actual event of 'failure' and all the thoughts that come after it. You can train yourself to observe when you are doing the dirty pain part.
Here’s a scientific lense through which to reconsider this concept:
Another way to understand this is to think about the immune system’s inflammatory response to foreign invaders like viruses.
Get this... It’s NOT the virus that causes symptoms of illness. Instead, it’s the body’s inflammatory response to the virus.
The precipitating reaction (our psychological pain, the immune system’s inflammatory response, etc.) ultimately causes pain. Not the original event.
...I don’t know about anyone else, but that makes me feel hella powerful. Be mindful of your reaction, and you can affect massive change.
Thanks Nathaniel for another great video. I love the imagery-it’s so useful to rexamine ideas through different lenses.
"a failure is only defined by as such by the actions taken after the fact"
by Nathaniel drew
I Just failed at an entrance exam so this is much needed. Idk why but u always seems to get me🙏👍 tysm
yoo, same here :/
Same here!!! Haha this message was so comforting!! Haha I am not alone on this xD
@@gloomyliar It's OKAY . Don't give up. Embrace it ❤️
Yeah right? ☺
Whatever you’re pursuing you can absolutely accomplish! and I hope you will either do crush your exams or find a new path 🤗
Lately I came to a conclusion that fit in this theme, "Its not about what happens to you, its the way you react to it"
Bad things will always happen but we can manage to get through it
Cheers from Portugal
hoping for a ‘concept’ video on languages/language learning and how that can influence our perceptions and lived experiences with other cultures.
That is an excellent idea....
@@nobackupplan thank you! I think what would make this even more interesting is your unique perspective as a child of immigrant parents to the US that has now moved *back* abroad. exploring the language you grew up hearing at home versus when you moved to Mexico (did Mexican culture influence or change your perspective of yourself or the Spanish language as an Argentinian American, etc.), and now that you’re living in Paris - what is it like speaking French and living in France as an “American”? especially since you have likely experienced such solidarity with French people, given that you’ve endured two ‘confinements’ during your time there. so much complexity and nuance to explore with this!
Oh this would be wonderful! I vote for this! 🥰
@@nobackupplan I'd love to hear your view on this too!
Check out a book called Through the Language Glass (2010). Hits on some of these ideas.
This channel is underrated.
Do u know he has another channel!
in and of itself
That's not always a bad thing.
@@LisaNordlicht so true 🙌
still hoping to buy this man a cup of coffee one day...adding to the bucket list.
Me too 😇
I really like how you look at failure. Personally, the biggest thing I add to my failure is the fear of trying again. I also love your idea of the bigger the failure, the bigger the potential growth. It's kind of like how refreshing cold water is greatly depends on how hot your current environment is. (Also, by the way, I would love a new series of videos called Morning Brew with Nathaniel Drew...😂) Thanks, man. I wish you all the best!
You'r new glasses seems COOL MAN😎😎
Becoming more aware of all my psychological BS has literally been life-changing. I love the way you visualized this concept of "failure", I can see it becoming a mental picture I return to when I feel myself being sucked into anxiety or regret.
I can relate to this comment in so many ways... It's like thinking about thoughts like something that just happens to us. It doesn't have to control us.
love the new glasses. love the new outlook on life post social media purge. mad respect to uploading 4 videos in one week. Nathaniel, you are a gentleman and a scholar! now let me finish watching..
I like how this channel feels like a safe space away from the pressure of fighting with the algorithm. I guess that itself makes it outstanding. Thanks for taking us on a trip through your thoughts Nathaniel!
your drawing reminded me of a quote i like to think of when i’m overthinking and creating the second negative loop.
“people who stress themselves out suffer twice”
we’re all going to suffer once from the negative thing that happens but we don’t have to make it worse. and like you mentioned we can ever make it better by learning from our mistake and becoming better from it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT KEPT ME ALIVE THIS YEAR. THANK YOU NATHANIEL.
Same thing!! I found nathaniel's channel in march this year. His content has healing effect
This is so true! Failure in and of itself doesn't have to be a bad thing, as long as we choose not to wallow in negative emotions after experiencing a setback.
I've noticed that sometimes I'm good at bouncing back from failure, while other times I get really caught up in emotional insecurities. It's just something that I need to work on!
Every time I'm watching one of your videos, I'm feeling a kind of sadness because I'm not one of your friends. Because everything you're talking touches me deeply as it is how I'm thinking. In those times of isolation due to covid and virtual socialisation which leaves me with a non-satisfied felling you make my day. A deeply thank you for sharing your thoughts !!!!!!
The most important thing is to see failures as what they really are, without exaggeration.
And then you realize that it's not so bad.
It's not a question of changing our perceptions, but of no longer having perceptions and seeing life as it is.
Leaving our ego aside
This was awesome!
I’ve been trying for a while now to build this idea into my mindset too: instead of feeling sorry for myself after I failed, instead of going over my mistakes all over again in my mind, I realized that it’s so much better to look at the failure as a mean of learning something.
Ok, I did something wrong, I failed. But I can’t change the past, so how can I use this failure in my advantage in the future? See what I did wrong and be careful next time so I don’t repeat the same mistakes.
And a quote that I saw recently and really loved, that goes well with what I said: “A mistake made more than once is a decision.”
Great video and great ideas, my dude! 👏🏽
This video helped me right here and now deal with a failure, so thank you!
I feel like its related to "opportunity
mindset" instead of overthinking the past.
I think that helps to take that advantage of failure .
I often wake up just before the alarm clock forcibly does it for me. In those minutes of waking I'm able to very clearly visualise ideas and projects, and have them structured and organised in my mind before the chaos and noise of the day has any chance to interfere. Failure for me is letting too many distractions impede me from my goals, but I've also learnt to be forgiving to myself as well - all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
There is also the influence of the people around you. When quarantine happened, my living condition changed and now I am surrounded by different people. This, I have noticed has completely changed the way I think and also the things I consider as a failure
I’ve been working on appreciating my life and time for the last year and I felt like I did some improvement on all that. However now that I got COVID I suddenly realized that I was failing on many ways, because I was putting so many excuses to do some things that are important to me. So don’t waste your time guys, it’s limited and many times we take it for granted. Time and health shouldn’t be taking for granted never. Appreciate them 👍🏻
I feel that "failures" and "successes" are more like labels that have been given to situations. Things that help us define the situations in a more contextual manner. But I strongly feel that it helps a lot if these situations are taken as experiences rather than states of being. I think context is important here.
I had a wonderful conversation with one lady the other day. She taught me to understand the word FAIL as a "First Attempt in Learning". This simple insight completely changed my mindset about failure & success and showed that failing is just a part of my journey. We will get where we want to get one day, but just not immediately. Thanks for the video, Nathaniel.
you're so inspiring and i'm crying.
You're not alone friend!
One of my biggest failures was having my family invest in a start-up that I was involved in. We ended up getting scammed by the CEO, when he essentially paid himself the entire investment. I spiraled in shame and embarrassment for a while. But what I chose was to take full responsibility and what I learned was invaluable. 1) I realized why I'd missed all the red flags-- it was because I desperately wanted what he was saying to be true and 2) my family loves me even in failure (which was something I'd always doubted, but no longer do). Your explanation perfectly describes this experience and is helping me articulate it looking back. Thank you.
I really like this visualization. I think that the dotted line go up, but then stay up and have the solid ‘life’ line continue at that level.
I think that since you are learning from these failures and dips, you can apply them to your life and get at a higher level :)
Honestly thank you for this because I’m someone who really shuts down and gets embarrassed when I fail. Or I get really unmotivated and won’t want to keep going on projects I’m trying out. I think looking at it this way actually drawn out on paper is so much easier than just hearing “failure is an opportunity to grow!” And leaving it at that. failure only hurts because we cared about whatever it was we failed at but it hurts nonetheless
I’m seeing people mention concepts talking about language, which I would definitely like to see, but they also made me think of another possible concept. How where you live changes perspectives on life and even maybe social status and how it affects one’s lifestyle. Seeing as you’ve lived in many places, I’d like to see what you think about the topic :)
'If it's mentionable, It's manageable' - Mr.Rogers!
In discussing your failures (even if that is to yourself) you reduce the mental grip they have on you. That dip becomes way less deep if we can articulate why we think we failed. Then hopefully we can learn and bounce back up with new understanding!
Ugh you are so goddamn attractive, Nathan. I don't mean in the traditional sense of looks (but it definitely includes that too ;)) but it's in the way you carry yourself. Your new energy that's tackling your old anxieties emanates and shines through the screen. There's seriously a new sparkle to you, and it's magnetic. You care a lot about what other people think, but you're now much more confident in not letting that control and restrict you. You're using information from your external world to empower yourself and in turn empower us.
You sound so much more refreshed and happy now. I can almost hear a skip to your step in the way you speak. We really love to see it, Nathan! Here's from another stranger across the world growing in her 20s with you!
Exactly the same concepts apply to "success". It is just as possible to fail to integrate success into one's life as is failure.
I realized while working on my poetry senior thesis that I regret the way the entire thing was structured. Because I kept trying to make it argumentative the poems ended up seeming almost defensive in a way that felt uncomfortable, like I was trying to justify or validate my own existance in some way. At first I viewed this as a semester long failure until i realized that I could simply write about the process and add a critique of the poems and a collection of ways I might make them better which, as far as my Professor is concerned, only elevates the legitimacy and quality of the work. So, I suppose, this was me making this ideology actionable. Thanks for the video though!
I literally just got my midterm results and even though I didn’t fail I just felt like a failure..because I didn’t reach my goal. Thank you for this it came at the right timing I’ll keep rewatching this to remind me everytime I fail at reaching a goal that it isn’t the end of the world!
This idea of failure being dependent on our reaction rather than an actual occurrence is such an interesting one! As humans I think we're draw to labels and categories as they make abstract concepts communicable, but retrospective labels such as failures can lead to feelings of stagnancy as we cannot go back in time to change the event we deem a "failure". If we reframe our understanding of failures as reactions rather than events, suddenly we are no longer focusing on something that is objectively unchangeable but falling back into the present, the only moment we really have control of. Loved this video :)
Wow, the way you worded this was beautiful. It’s natural for humans to always want to have control of their life, we we get uneasy when there is no control. If our energy from failure is focused on our reaction to the little dip in the line rather than the dip itself (the present rather than the past), then we do have control over our failures.
This man gets me every time I'm struggling with something, as if he knew what I'm going through and posted a video in response to a possible solution, I love it.
Last week I failed an important test, for which I wasn't that prepared, but I was confident that I could pass it. But moment I failed it, I realized that I actually wanted to fail it because of my greater potential to learn even more about that subject. It feels kinda strange, but I see it like a balance of energy: you have to get bad energy to be able to make up for it and even surpass that in positive energy, giving you not only a way back to how things where at the beginning, but also the grit to do more, like a snowball effect. Besides that, being such an anxious person, I get so much relief when I actually accept that I can also fail, making me more comfortable to get back on track and climb up the ladder.
I think there is something I can add to the "graph": from the opportunity's curve, after the failure, if you can and choose to give value to what you learned from the negative experience, life won't be the same line as before, it will be higher and it will start from the point of the opportunity's curve you just embrace that change. Meaning that all the positive things you learn are not just something more to your old life, but they are something that elevates and can really change your life.. Maybe it's kind of obvious or stupid, but I like to think it that way.
Sometimes what you add to it makes the dip not only deeper but also wider, extending the time you need to recover and setting you back for much longer
Thanks bro u helped me cope with my big fail of the past! (:
I have a notebook just for thats concepts. Before i talk with my self for lighten my mind, so i changed for a notebooks and since i changed i never seen before someone talk about this, i throught it was just me.
Great vid sir! hello from a fellow essentialist in London. Have you read ‘Black Box Thinking’? I think you’d enjoy it. Explores the differences in approach to failure in aviation and medical worlds: totally different about how failure is dealt with and embraced socially and psychologically. we all need to be more like the aviators!
I've failed big and I'm really depressed right now. Thank you for this 🙏🏿
It reminded me of Seneca's words: ''Everlasting misfortune does have one blessing, that it ends up by toughtening those whom it consistently afflicts''
I think I really needed this video.
Today I had my first flute lesson with my teacher after a long time of not playing the flute beacuse of school.
I was 'd'ucking scared. And mostly because of that fear of teachers I played really, really bad. Of course I wasn't completely ready. But still if I was a bit more confident in my skills, just in myself I would have played the way more better.
That was a big failure. The teacher's sight, my father trying to make excuses of me. The understanding that my skills became level down. Or two levels down.
I felt so frustrated that even was thinking of giving up on everything I made through a lot of years. Beacuse of somebody's else bound and pressure, because of my fear of that pressure (I had a teacher who was literally torturing me every lesson and it had kind of an affect, traumatic experience on me) and also because I haven't paid enough attention to my passion.
The most funny thing is what on concerts, on stage and even on serious competitions I can play REALLY well and even take the first place as I did lots of times, but when it comes to playing with teacher I can't even play basic things no matter how I try so teachers start looking at me like I'm subnormal...
I think I really need to stop being afraid of teachers and become more confident in myself and my skills, cause I literally have it, but can't use it, improve it and bc of that I can't learn new skills.
Thank you, Nathaniel! You made me to look at the situation from another angle.❤️
If you are not failing frequently, you're not trying anything new or daring. Fail fast, fail forward. Thanks Nathaniel.
I am one of your long term silent appreciater, but today I thought I should say this that you are a nice combination of a child and a grown old man who is spending his youth. And to let you know I have almost watched your every video and looking forward for new content as the way you present your stories/ideas is really fascinating.
Hi Nathan! A few thoughts/suggestions on this video:
- This is such a cool way to share ideas! As a visual learner, seeing you draw out failure stuck a new mental image into my brain that I'll likely find myself pondering over for the next few days.
- In the video segment where you were cutting between drawing and explaining your drawing, it would be helpful to have the view of your notebook on the screen even while you're explaining it, so we can reference the image while you are explaining it.
- Definitely going to check out Morning Brew! I've also been trying to find a news source that isn't immensely overwhelming.
Thanks for always putting out awesome content!! My brain loves this kinda stuff :D
I prefer much more these stories and philosophical thoughts in this format than in a TED Talk format. TEDs are pre-formatted and very non-natural. The people on stage seem to wait in advance for applause. Nathaniel does it so naturally here, it's like a movie and he gives us space to think in-betweens.
Love Concepts! Do more of them Nathaniel! Super Super cool ❤️
Looking forward to the rest of the series!
Thanks. I'm looking forward to more of these episodes.
I really needed this. Thank you!
Catch yourself before you add negative feelings about your initial negative feelings. Or you'll create further pain. Just let your feelings be in their authentic state. Sit with it, acknowledge, feel.
You inspire so much❤️ literally obsessed with your channel ✨
We have a french quote that's says (Google trad here, it's old french in verse) "What is conceived well is stated clearly and the words to say it come easily" (in french, by Nicolas Boileau "Ce que l'on conçoit bien s’énonce clairement, Et les mots pour le dire arrivent aisément"). I think that's sum up your thinking, with which i quite agree ^^
Love this style of video. It's cool to have the casual visual aide as well. Keep them coming!
"How good is your understanding of an idea really, if you're unable to explain it to somebody else." Highly resonated with me and for me at least me it's one of the most important skills to practice. I think the understanding can be quite there already in some cases even if you cannot explain it, but then to really make it sink in communicating it is the way. Love from Germany!
Once again a *BIG* _Thank You_ for making these Nathan!
quality content! loved the concepts series. rock onnn
Loved this video! I really like this as a series idea! Plus the straight forward title of CONCEPTS just rings so well
Such a great idea for a video, the visuals help a lot!
Always watching your videos, and here I am again. So brilliant Nathan!
The older brother I always wanted but never had ❤
*Look at it in a “Learning” perspective* 🙏
Thank you Nathaniel for sharing this with us ❤️
i really needed this today. thanks
This is incredible I love this.
Thank you for making this! I like concepts
Loved this so much.
I'm really so glad to get to see this creative burst on your channel. Your videos have really been helping me navigate my own personal growth. I really love seeing the work you do because it reminds me that I have a lot more options for success that what is presented to me by others. Thanks for the content!
Liking this positivity Nate, beautiful music too. Good man.
LOVED this
I love the illustration aspect of this! Looking forward to more videos in this series!
This came at a time when I needed this, so thank you for sharing your perspective! Been going through a
lot of failure lately so having this other perspective certainly helps!
I consider you a modern day philosopher, but at the level of Plato
Yeah i also think he's one of the most "philosophical" channel in RUclips, but someone once said that a philosopher is whoever defines himself as one
@@federicograziani6160 I agree with the last sentence but for me he is
@@ufoinboxes1802 yes for me too, i hope he will write some books in the future
Facts
@@federicograziani6160 yes, me too
What a grt way of explanation Nathan, thanks 🍁
Amazing vid, nathan. Creative explosion, indeed. Keep it up ❤
I was just rejecting yesterday by my dream university. I put in so much work trough out my life even in learning english to be able to go. And then I came across this it made me feel a lot better. Thank you so much! You are very talented i’ve been following for some time now and it makes me so happy how much your channel has grown you truly desirve it. :)
I opened up RUclips and the first thing which I wanted to do was to check your channel. That is what my soul was aiming for today. I don't know if it´s the serenity of your videos or how visually pleasing they are or the clarity with which you can share your thoughts (or probably all together). Thank you for bringing us meaningful content that matters ♥
Thank you so much for the "Morning Brew" as well as your newsletter! Looking forward to it!
Great video as always! It’s all about perspective and I’m trying to apply that to my video content on my channel, grazie Nathaniel!
I like the idea of you making a series of videos about different ideas/ concepts. Looking forward to seeing the next one :)
Thank you, I needed this. I had accepted an extra project a bit ago at work and yesterday I had to say I couldn’t get it done in time due to other added work. I hated sending that email as I felt like a failure. Seeing the exaggerated dip and the potential growth afterwards, is very inspiring and is helping me out of that dip and finding ways to make that growth.
This channel is gold
this is such a great way to describe something ive been seeing happen in my head for a long time, thank you so much. when i try to think about stuff ive done wrong, i always come up with ways i could've done it better and just keep spiralling into that. showing us what it looks like in the bigger picture and fitting the concept into something brains can handle is just honestly so useful in the path towards being better. thank you for reminding me to get out of the pit ive dug myself into and looking up to the future.
(man you are so right about thoughts being so hard to accurately articulate,,guess i'll practice it more now :] ) great video, my guy!
thanks a lot. I really was needed to listen exclaly this. I'll never forget your speech, and of course I'll copy your draw and notes on my journal :)
your videos comfort me
Nathaniel, thank you for your positive energy! So pleasant watching your videos these days! 🙏😊
look into "amor fati" its a stoic principle which literally means: love thy faith. This ties in nicely with your outlook on life
This is amazing Nathaniel!! Thank you so much for sharing how you look at failure and thank you for the easy to understand information in a short amount of time. I love how you break this subject down. Looking forward to seeing more of these type videos!! Much love
Amazing! I love conceptual analysis please follow this train of thought!
every video of yours feels just like a warm conversation with a good friend, thank you for sharing your thoughts and inspiration😌
Love this new concept of videos ; ) ! And your way to make it concrete with your drawings !
Needed to hear this - thank you.
Would love a concept video on rejection and/or fate vs. free will!
Thanks for dealing with this topic. I've just watched your video, and it's exactly what I need today (I'll be assessed for work tomorrow afternoon, and I needed someone to remind me that when I'll be done I'll be done with that, and that if it does not go as I planned, it's still fine, my life is not at stake).
This was incredible. We need more conversation like this.
Glad you're back. ♡ Regarding the news - newsletters are awesome! I subscribed to a few on business, marketing, tech and investing. They're always written in the context of current affairs so you know what's going on in the world but without getting overwhelmed.
Been thinking this all for so long but could not explain it as elegant as you just did! And LOVE the graph.