5 Secrets for Effective One-on-One Meetings
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- Do you do 1-on-1s with your direct reports? If not, you really should. In this video, I'll give you 5 secrets for effective 1 on 1s
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SUMMARY
This week’s #FounderFriday is about the secrets I’ve learned to doing effective one on one meetings.
1:1s (pronounced "One on Ones") are an important thing for every manager to do. As One Month grew from two to ten people, I wanted to make sure that people always had a way to communicate their questions or concerns with me. So I started doing weekly 1:1s with everyone on the team.
I've read a lot about 1:1s, and had a good amount of experience over the last two years, and I wanted to share my lessons learned.
*Have a consistent 1:1 structure*
It doesn't have to be the same for each person, but it helps both you and the other person plan and come prepared if they know that there's a consistent structure.
Without a consistent structure, it can be very easy for your 1:1 to devolve into a project update or a conversation about some urgent issue. That's not the point - 1:1s are an opportunity to connect as individuals, and talk about concerns, excitements, and feedback.
One framework that I like to use for 1:1s is Rose, Bud, Thorn.
*Take notes and refer back to them*
You'll often find that similar topics come up over time when talking to someone. You want to be able to identify trends in what people are telling you. Last time you mentioned that X was an issue, is that still a problem?
That makes people feel like you're actually listening, and it also allows you to follow up with people and hold them accountable for the things they said they would do.
I take notes on my laptop in Evernote and file them into a folder called 1:1s - [Person's Name]. Other people like to use a pen and a notebook. It doesn't really matter, as long as it works for you.
At first I felt like it was weird to talk to someone and take notes on a computer at the same time, but I just explained to people why I was doing it - that I wouldn't share what they were saying with anyone else, and just wanted to be able to refer back to things they said later. People got used to it very quickly and now it's not even an issue.
*Identify opportunities for action*
Most of takeaways from this process should be to identify individual problems (motivation, happiness, accountability) and team problems (conflict, teammate performance, team performance).
Once you've identified an issue that needs to be dealt with, you have to determine what the followup action should be. If it's an issue that the employee brings up that you think they should be able to figure out, help them through a collaborative problem solving discussion.
Sometimes the discussion ends up focusing on another person or issue. Don't gossip and definitely don't confirm that you agree.You may have to bring the other person into the room to lead a conflict resolution session.
*Work on your active listening*
It's a skill to really get someone to open up and to listen. One framework I use for soliciting feedback comes from Crucial Conversations and it's called AMPP:
Ask
Mirror
Paraphrase
Prime
Also ask a lot of follow-up questions. I find that saying "Tell me more," usually works when you want to hear more.
*Make it easy*
For a while I was stalling on 1:1s because finding all the time to schedule them once a month was becoming a hassle. My current method is to have my assistant schedule them on my behalf, for half an hour.
Another option is to require your direct reports to schedule 1:1s with you, and put the task on them personally.
So that's how you can start doing 1:1s. If you follow these steps, then I guarantee you will become a better leader.
Would love to hear feedback from people who have tried 1:1s. Do you love it or hate it? What have you seen work really well? What doesn't work well? Post in the comments below.
Great video! 100% Agree. I would add one last tip, be patient. To get the full benefits of the one on ones for your team and your company, you need between 1 and 3 months of 1 on 1. People need to trust the setting which maybe hard in the begining
In a sea of videos about 1:1s all saying the SAME things (don't skip the meeting, be on time ZZZZZZZZ), finally a video that says something concrete to actually make a difference. Fantastic tips
Thank you. This was very balance and useful.
Wish most of us can learn from him.. the delivery the content.. worth every minute watching this video! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you!
Rose, thorn, bud...Rose is most exciting, thorn is the most irritating, bud is the thing with potential. NICE!
I'm a manager of a frontline team and have had a new manager for the last 9 months. During this time we've had really ineffective communication. Recently I decided to go over with a closer look the meeting minutes he sends after the meeting. I realised that these meetings are not about me, unlike how i conduct my 1:1s with my staff. I put in a suggestion about managers coming to the meeting pre-preared with the review information he wants as this will compact this down from a 30min review discussion, a lot of this time is him bringing up and running the reports live, down to 5mins. Then the rest of the time can be the manager going into depth with any focus staff, and then any suggestions for improvement the manager may have.
I thought it was a great idea as I also thought about filtering this down to my staff 1:1s.
Thank you for this video - it will help support my ideas :)
Thank you
Helpful
Thank you so much. I'll gonna use these tips as soon as I can.
So I have been trying the amp response and I indo it distracts me more then anything. To me a solid mirror, means that person has to trust what you are saying and your frame of mind, like to mentally step back and become the solution.
so helpful thank you so much
Found this very useful.my 1 on 1 usually finishes with in 15mins, though the time booked is 1hr. My manager is very knowledgeable. But whenever I have a meeting with him, most of the time he postpones it at least 2 times and when the meet up finally happens, I sense that he is in a rush. This could be my just my thoughts. But I feel that I should not drag. During my 1 on 1, he asks if I have any concerns to share and I don't remember any. I want to make my session very fruitful but ends up with nothing. I don't know if any of these is to do with me being boring to talk to, my communication skills. Could you please help. Thank you.
Hey there :)
Whilst I don't have direct reports, I'm a senior in my team, and host one to one sessions with other engineers.
We work in a demanding environment where it can be challenging to put work down and be present. I can emphasise with your manager who may well be dealing with interruptions, difficult clients, a demanding workload or the present problem of the day... I used to be this person, and I can say honestly that *none* of these is a valid excuse to not conduct one to ones properly.
It sounds like your manager may be brilliant at dealing with the job's technicalities, but hasn't figured out people or time management properly. Engineer promoted, perhaps?
I can only imagine how frustrating this can be for you, but there's hope. If your boss is as clever as you say - then he'll realise his failings if gently nudged in the right direction. If he's a decent person, but just pre-occupied - then I might try something like these in your position:
1) Ask your manager if the full hour is really needed, and reduce the calendar event to 30mins. If you're struggling with even getting the meeting to happen, this should reduce perceived "overhead" - and make the meeting more likely to happen. It also shows that your conscious of his time and workload. Ultimately you're aiming to get the meeting to last the full 30 mins if it's needed - up from the rushed 15 mins.
2) Try small talk, return questions like "how are you are doing?" - a 1 to 1 meeting is an opportunity for you *both* to get to know one another a little better, and they work both ways. Ask about him, did he have a nice weekend, etc.? The idea is to build up some rapport and break down barriers. This will generally help make the meeting a little more pleasant. Be interested and learn what makes him tick and he'll return the favour without realising (assuming he's a decent person). Perhaps you might have some hobbies in common. The aim is to build a genuine connection where he wants to see you do well and help you achieve your goals.
3) Come prepared. It sounds like your manager is overloaded, and I doubt he has much of an agenda (except to get back to firefighting). I would recommend putting together a list of talking points before the meeting. Gently try to steer the meeting through them. For your first few 'proper' meetings, try and choose neutral topics until you have a better feeling for the relationship and how he may react.
4) Make your notebook and your preparedness obvious. It shows that you take the meeting seriously - and without saying it directly, it tells him that so should he.
5) Time is obviously a problem, now that you've successfully managed to set the meeting to 30 mins, you want to try and use it instead of getting rushed out in only 15. Try and show that you're aware of the passage of time during the meeting. If the small-talk goes well, an embarrassed "oops - we managed to chat for 15 mins about our weekends... I guess we should chat about work!" can work wonders.
Towards the end you could also try something like "oh, we've only got 10 mins left - can we go through before we wrap up?", or "do you have anything you need from me or anything I can help with before we finish?"
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Be aware though - if your manager is just plain rude, and has no care for his employees, this list is unlikely to work - worse, trying to build a rapport or relationship with them may be perceived as an attack or undermining them. For those types, run away!
@@MrHolozip Thank you for your time. There are points that I can use next time. It really makes me feel good from your statement "I can say honestly that none of these is a valid excuse to not conduct one to ones properly". Thank you again Gareth.
@@eshaccount Thanks Easwari! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
I am a manager with a bunch of reports. My meetings get postponed all the time with my reports. It is because I am pulled in 100 different directions and need to prioritize. So, while my reports are always a priority, if there aren't any issues on their surface that need to be addressed immediately and you are performing to a satisfactory level, understand where I am coming from. If you need something immediately and need to talk, let me know the importance of it and therefore I will understand where you are coming from. I only do these meetings every 3-4 weeks.
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And secondly sometimes I think I get distracted by the paraphrasing, lost in my own explanation of things
"It makes people feel like you are actually listening", am I the only one that finds this a bit odd? I mean as a people manager you should be listening to your team-members, not try to make them feel like you are listening. It may be just the way I perceived this, but I found this a bit pretentious.