I am done trying to have productive conversations with people who aren’t equipped or interested in having them. My inner peace and sanity are more important than being “right”.
If leaving quietly is to escape toxicity or cruelty, it also sends the message that those people mean nothing now & don’t matter in your life any more… very clear & powerful.
Before 50 l tried to talk it out with toxic people. Now, action that people choose to violate me and take my kindness for weakness dont happen.They know why l moved away from them, no.argument...NOTHING! IM.a peace! Many people are just mean.later in.life.
@@EileenPurdy-q6z An emotionally avaliable adult will communicate their needs, so you would know they need space and why. In the op case a toxic and cruel environment, no explanation is necessary to remove yourself. The toxic adult will make it clear that saying anything will be pointless, youve already tried, they pull away and say nothing then they think theyvcan come back, So why bother wasting anymore valuable time on them. Shut the door and walk away with your dignity, integrity and self respect intact.
I use to over explain because i wanted people to full understand the situation..i learned to keep it short and give simple answers..even leave key things out . I feel that over explaining makes people feel dumb.
Overexplaining says one is desperate or feels their point is weak (deep down) and so they must "pound the pulpit harder". Its the "me thinks she protests too much" effect. There is nothing more powerful than making a point succinctly and calmly. It says the person has authority and knows what they are talking about. They are unafraid of pushback.
There are two times i left quietly. One was after trying for years to communicate with a friend who just refused to hear me, and who continued to tell me my feelings were invalid. I finally realized we were getting nowhere, and it did no good to try. There was no confrontation, no argument, no last attempt because i already knew there was no use. After I left, her behavior to mutual friends, villainizing me, gave me peace in my decision. The other time was when I walked away from my abusive mother, months before becoming a mother myself. While both of these situations were very difficult, i have no regrets at all. i truly never want to be around either of them ever again.
@@Aurora_Norway2000 my mother was always a cold, uncaring, unempathetic person. there’s a lifetime of events, and I can’t think of many nice moments in my childhood, it was honestly hell, and I used to get a sick stomach when I had to go home each day because I never knew what was waiting for me. However, a few notable things are that my parents divorced when I was 18. My dad wanted me to have his pension. When he died, she sued me for it, won, moved into his house, threw his stuff in the trash, and told me to stop crying. She left me to plan the funeral myself and called me fat and picked a fight the morning of said funeral. When I was pregnant, I had complications. She made fun of me for worrying. She decided she wanted a granddaughter and kept referring to my baby as “she” and implying she wouldn’t love a boy. When I had to go to the ER in my third trimester, she said she couldn’t go with me because she was cleaning her kitchen and thought I was being dumb to worry. Later, I told her how hurtful this was. Rather than apologize, she stopped speaking to me. She kept a crib and car seat a friend had given me (they were in her basement until I could transport them) and refused to return them. I was in the hospital for 8 days having my baby, and she never called or texted to see if we were okay. That’s just the stuff she did to me. She shoved her own blind, elderly mother in a rage because her mother accidentally bumped the christmas tree (nobody is allowed to touch her holiday decorations). A local business closed up because the owner was dying of cancer, and my mom said “good I hope it’s painful” because she CLAIMS the cashier, his daughter, gave her a funny look. She is in her 70s and has no friends and no family. She’s pushed everyone away. I was the only one who still tried.
abusive mother? did she beat you? or was she just neglectful? She was also traumatized? Very sorry to hear that you are unable to forgive her and move on. Your children will do the same to you. #generationaltrauma is no joke
@@Soloman_1800That's okay with a narcissist or toxic person. But to an honest empath who trusted you and shared their heart out with you, never thought ill of you, the deafening "radio silence" is a form of torture you're giving them. We don't understand why people can suddenly behave like we don't exist now. We will remain in this state of forever seeking answer and closure. Don't do this to good people please.
@@BeThankfulHumble....and me. An incident occurred with an employee that they refused to deal with and they wanted me to go to the office when they're already familiar with this individual. Instead of going to the office, I went to my locker...tossed employer related stuff in the garbage....went to the parking lot and drove off....done!
@@Maddie2u I commend you 100%. I am a supervisor, and I have to deal with a Narcissist on a daily basis, management won't do anything, HR protects the Narcissist. He was Insubordinate to me a few weeks back. I told him calmly then to clock out. This is the 2nd time this has happened. He has been here 23 years and feels entitled to everything. HR paid him for the night and never wrote him up. The money is really good I am making but it's time to move on. I am keeping my mouth shut when questioned.
Absolutely love this video. Going through some anxiety as a senior and landed upon this as if it were meant to be right now, serves as reminders. As I watch it, I am also faced with the fact that so many people , and me, could benefit by practicing these emotional improvements, distilling anger but moving forward. It also reiterates why I "left quietly" from relationships that depleted my energy and that I did the right thing. I was at a crossroad in my 30's and didn't listen to anyone but made some drastic changes - alone in my decision and it has forever improved my life. Had I listened to everyone, best friends, parents etc I would not be in my best place today. This video is awesome! Intelligence caps it all. Thank you!
Yes, I experienced some of this recently as a senior. I discovered that my siblings view me in a negative manner when I needed them most. Opened my eyes, was very disappointing but am letting it go and "leaving quietly" and without justifying my actions to them- well- feeling like I have to justify my actions. I keep my lifestyle to myself now so that I don't have to hear their negative feedback. I'm letting them go.
To say nothing can mean everything. Ghosting, vanishing with no self-defense, no passion, no futile remarks is a powerful way to politely refuse to grant combative reprisals from the disliked job, romance partner, church, or other entity. Exploding and explaining are pointless in many cases. People who narcissistically love to fight and win arguments will be flabbergasted, thwarted, confused by your wall of strong silence. I wish I had learned this principle many years ago.
You hear the people saying Ghosting is bad, those are the drainers and complainers. Even the wording has a bad connotation around it. Ghost. Truthfully, people just don't care enough to think about you enough, and that's literally why they were ghosted in the first place. "It's the culmination of how you(ghosted person) made the relationship feel. They left. Plain and simple." Then they complain about ghosting, but their actions lead to you just literally dropping them entirely. Hell even you got wounds from the first time probably, because compassion goes both ways and your compassion was squashed entirely and then all you have, is your choice to stop contact. And you did. And that's a great thing. Better than complaining about being Ghosted. Like I get it, these people are sad that they can't USE you anymore.
I just prefer peace and love my own company ;as Ive gotten older, this what I prefer. Some people may consider it seems rude, but that is not what I intend.
I think it just means you are comfortable with yourself, you have the self esteem to live quietly. I too am a senior and think life reaches a point of putting things in perspective, setting priorities. I have reached a point that it is best to not be bothered with other people's garbage and issues that negatively impact my life. Want to live my final years without all the unnecessary "bs". Peace and peace of mind become more important.
We understand and I have already started integrating this into my life , I do not care what the world thinks about me anymore.All the best to you my dear friend.
There are very few people with integrity. Good people are rare. Hence, friends and families are overrated. You are the lucky few if you have good/genuine family and friends.
I think I’ve done this my whole life without realizing it. I was a confrontational person, still am not. I prefer quiet in general, I prefer to stay silent in general, I prefer solitude in general. But I cherish the relationships I have with people. I cherish time with people who I can learn from, teach or just be with.
It's amazing the inner peace you have when you have control over your own actions and not allowing other people to bring out a negative reaction in you they don't realise that through there negativity they actually strengthening you spiritually drawing you closer to God and giving you the ability to endure and persevere without retaliating you will then not fuel there fire making there continuous attack difficult which will eventually stop as they will run out of fuel beautiful ❤❤❤❤❤
I was baited by two close (former) friends. They wanted me to respond with anger, wanted me to get upset, wanted me to push back. Nope, that’s not me. I don’t play that, period. You see ‘former’ is there for a reason.
leaving quietly, and I;ve done it a few times with major relationships, gives the ones you leave behind the time to reflect on themselves! those who don;t, are too self absorbed to realize they may be at fault!
I did this after my first week at a toxic job. When i sent him an email demanding my wages he ignored it. I called a week later to ask where it was. He said, "you have to give 2 weeks notice. I don't have to pay you. fk that and fk you" i took him to court. In my state, employers have to pay 4x overdue wages if you outright refuse to pay people. It took a year to get through the legal system but i won in the end and hopefully he learned a lesson in humility. This guy was awful there were so many red flags. I quit managers not jobs
@@SS-yq9ku Colorado. Sadly the presiding judge was an absolute idiot. He decided, employers (recorded phone convo evidence admission) "I don't have to pay you, I am not going to pay you. Fk that nd fk you" did not constitute egregious refusal to pay so I only got 3x wages due. I tried to challenge and prosecute against the judges ruling but ffs they make it so expensive and impossible without an attorney. Laws don't apply to the entitled. Sad world we live in. Always stand up for the abused and disenfranchised. Take no sht attitude but try to be and give the best every day and show kindness to all. Especially those who are down and out. Stay positive and be the better person at the end of the day ✌️
@@Natty183or they could have been genuinely sorry for what they did & it took a lot of courage for them to admit it. Because odds are high they were struggling with something themselves and did not intend to be toxic intentionally!
This video 'Leave Quietly' resonates with me and confirms past experiences. Years ago, I was guided to stay put, say little & do less. Be, be, be not do, do, do. Now, I get it.
Thank you for articulating what my body already knew about how my sister uses silence. Holy Spirit recently showed me the importance of leaving quietly. Used in a healthy way silence is very powerful. I look forward to employing it more often.
I just wanted to say that this book is wonderful but does not apply to every circumstance. I had a narcissist block me out of his life after he robbed me blind to escape accountability for being a thief. Not everyone that leaves without explanation is justified in doing so…just wanted to let that be known 👀
For the value they stole from you, you're now free of that thief in your life. They've chosen to distance themselves from you permanently, which might be worth the cost. A different way to look at it :)
In the book I can't remember the exact chapter but towards the end, it mentions that indeed leaving quietly does not apply to all situations. Speaking up can be a powerful way to bring about change e.g., in the case of bullying or other abuse in a professional setting.
Some good advice here. I have not reacted sometimes and wondered "Was that weak ? Should I have said something?". In the end being silent was the correct, strong, thing to do. The person that treated me badly was involved in something morally reprehensible and was shown up for it. So, in the end the person was recognised for the unsavory person he was by my community.
It is interesting to consider that most of the given examples in the reading are probably actions necessitated by relationships with narcissists. I think this book is worth multiple listenings! Thanks for posting this and making a difference in my life!
Thank you for this video. The content and narration have a reassuring and calming effect on me. I've started with saying less and leaving space between myself and others. I tend to talk alot to fill the void. It's a nervous habit. I rant and rave just to let off steam but it does me no real good. Instead I'm using other/proper channels for funneling what's going on inside of me. Less drama and more mystery is the goal.
I find the phrases "in today's society" and "in these times" and "these days" interesting. What exact date did they start? When do they end? How do you know what things were like previously? Were you alive then? Are human behaviors unique to "these times" and never happened before? Philosophical questions indeed.
I must have needed this badly. I listened to the whole thing in one go! Thank you! I think in today’s social media world it’s really important information.
Choose wisely ! Leaving quietly from someone that disrespects you is the thing you do almost always! However, there are times when it is necessary to voice your feelings as to not allow the toxicity to stay and fester in your soul, that can cause lasting negative affects to your inner peace and physical/mental health. Sometimes you got to say what’s on your mind and in your heart. Choose wisely.
But this example is not leaving quietly! I just don’t understand why we keep parsing this up . Leave quietly except when … nope ya leave quietly. Period. For me giving people my energy by explaining and performing training that parents should have done is annoying. I leave the frustration quietly. I get paid for my advice
The Very best Reaction to such toxicity, is Absolutely, Positively NO REACTION, Whatsoever!! They are looking for your Reaction to keep the emotional Tug-Of-War going, as they Feed off of your Negative Reactions; think of it as a food source for them, as indeed it is. They feed on Negativity. 😮
Leaving quietly doesn't necessarily have to be leaving.....and never seeing that person ever again...some people may still be in your life. Ie coworkers, etc but you limit your interactions, conversation, and association...you're never rude, but you make it clear by your actions and not words that you no longer have time for them and keep it moving. Eventually, they will reciprocate by leaving you alone.
I don’t even bother to equal petty behavior at work . I say “ok” and “good morning “ and keep it moving . When a person is ignorant I still say hello but I leave no other space for conversations . I don’t talk to morons at length .
Such books should be seen as providing good ideas and perspectives. They should not be seen as gospel truth and apply to every situation. People apply all or none law which is the problem.
There are bullies and tyrants and if they are never defeated they will just keep doing the same thing forever. Someone has to stand up to them at some point.
My great grands say: "BS, for every one person who leaves this way, there are 1000 who create continuous drama and direct continuous angst towards the peaceful ones whom chose to quietly part ways. Do you keep being quiet or do you stand up and advocate for yourself? The aggressors won't let go of you and won't get over your absence, they will create many elaborate ways to make your journey yonder extremely not quietly."
Yes they may do that, but it won’t matter, because you won’t be around to listen to it. And anyone who comes to you to tell you about what they are saying is to be avoided also.
Sometimes, saying nothing speaks louder than words. Silence can be a form of self control, protecting your energy from unnecessary drama or conflict. It’s not about suppressing your feelings but about choosing when and how to express them.
A.I. Narration and repetitive content shows that this book is just RUclips algorithm-loaded content and not created by a credible author who deserves your time.
When I have things reasonably organized and an idea of my next move, I will sell the god forsaken condo with it's miserable board in the most discreet way. No byes to anyone, no letting amyone know where just simply leave. I don't why it feels better to just quiet leave a place too, but it does.
Absolutely. I like to run it by Jesus, to make sure I’m doing it after I’ve been compassionate, and my heart is in the right place. Be sure to follow through and not waffle with your decision. In some cases a very brief explanation can be used to give the person some closure, but then don’t respond, or read anything after that. Block if you need to keep the energy away from you.
All that's suggested here can be beneficial for some but i think for most people it would likely end up alienating them from the rest. You need to be put together or very charismatic already for this to do good in my opinion.
This should be called Ghosting for Dummies: A Handbook for Avoidant Personality Types . 😂🤣 Leaving possible domestic abuse situations being the exception. That is described perfectly.
this is only necessary when your dealing with a brick wall. the bigger question is why on Earth is someone in this situation. If you have to escape a situation where the truth would only put you in danger > you have bigger problems < The answer isn't to leave quietly. The answer is > you need to stay in places where the truth is more important than your or the other person's feelings. Only in uncompromising honesty is reality clear. We learn by facing hard truth's... NOT by running away while telling yourself > this is what a confident person does... but hey, i guess there are first steps ...
Am working on leaving even social media posts and youtube videos quietly. Tired of being manipulated into responding to/with manufactured outrage. My time and energy is not yours for the taking anymore.
I don't like small talk and my sister-in-law who I barely know is all of a sudden inviting herself to our home for days on end. This last time for was 10 days. After days of talking I ran out of things to say. Don't know how to remedy the situation. She invites herself and my husband without consulting me lets her come. I was so exhausted by the time she left I was almost in a coma. LOL
I met a guy in Istanbul. I tend to fall into limerance quite easily. I left him a note expressong how much I appreciated him and gave him my number . To be fair we only knew each other for 6 days. But over text, he ghosted me twice, once for 6 days and then abruptly for 8 days. Those were such emotionally wrecking days for me. He texted me after 8 days like nothing happened. He didnt even say sorry for ghosting me. I planned to not even open his message, but I did by accident and seen zoned him. I didnt say anything, he hasnt contacted me and I havent contacted him. I left quietly to preserve my dignity, but sometimes i still feel hurt. Sometimes i feel like it was my fault although he tried to manipulate me so obviously. Im so scared of people now. A smiling face can hide so much evil.
I am done trying to have productive conversations with people who aren’t equipped or interested in having them. My inner peace and sanity are more important than being “right”.
thank you for a thorough outline and with professionalism beyond and beautiful writing
Omg, Same. So tired of overexplaining.
@@ButterflyInSummer me too. It's so draining.
@joeyfarrell188 the futility of trying to "educate" the ignorant on RUclips 🙁
Yes...👍
two kinds of people in this world, ones that give you energy and ones that take it.
no... there are also people who have no impact on your energy
@@lumeronswiftyheres also negative endrgy
@@lumeronswifthmm touché
Epic
Two kinds of people in this world, the righteous and the unrighteous
If leaving quietly is to escape toxicity or cruelty, it also sends the message that those people mean nothing now & don’t matter in your life any more… very clear & powerful.
Before 50 l tried to talk it out with toxic people. Now, action that people choose to violate me and take my kindness for weakness dont happen.They know why l moved away from them, no.argument...NOTHING!
IM.a peace! Many people are just mean.later in.life.
Amen
Not always, sometimes people need quiet time to work out personal challenges. There is nothing with needing quiet time alone.
Some people cannot learn. Why explain to this type?
@@EileenPurdy-q6z An emotionally avaliable adult will communicate their needs, so you would know they need space and why.
In the op case a toxic and cruel environment, no explanation is necessary to remove yourself. The toxic adult will make it clear that saying anything will be pointless, youve already tried, they pull away and say nothing then they think theyvcan come back, So why bother wasting anymore valuable time on them. Shut the door and walk away with your dignity, integrity and self respect intact.
I use to over explain because i wanted people to full understand the situation..i learned to keep it short and give simple answers..even leave key things out . I feel that over explaining makes people feel dumb.
Dumb? No. They know exactly what they were doing! They just want to see if you have the stones to stop it.❤
I either keep it short or don't care to say anything at all. Has helped me so much !
I tried to over explain.. other person thinks someone is giving more importance to me, it must be other person is good.. he will start downplay always
Overexplaining says one is desperate or feels their point is weak (deep down) and so they must "pound the pulpit harder". Its the "me thinks she protests too much" effect.
There is nothing more powerful than making a point succinctly and calmly. It says the person has authority and knows what they are talking about. They are unafraid of pushback.
❤
There are two times i left quietly. One was after trying for years to communicate with a friend who just refused to hear me, and who continued to tell me my feelings were invalid. I finally realized we were getting nowhere, and it did no good to try. There was no confrontation, no argument, no last attempt because i already knew there was no use. After I left, her behavior to mutual friends, villainizing me, gave me peace in my decision. The other time was when I walked away from my abusive mother, months before becoming a mother myself. While both of these situations were very difficult, i have no regrets at all. i truly never want to be around either of them ever again.
Yes, you will go around and around with these fools
Just a waste of breath
@chunkysocks8121 Can you tell how your mother has been abusive? 🙏
@@Aurora_Norway2000 my mother was always a cold, uncaring, unempathetic person. there’s a lifetime of events, and I can’t think of many nice moments in my childhood, it was honestly hell, and I used to get a sick stomach when I had to go home each day because I never knew what was waiting for me. However, a few notable things are that my parents divorced when I was 18. My dad wanted me to have his pension. When he died, she sued me for it, won, moved into his house, threw his stuff in the trash, and told me to stop crying. She left me to plan the funeral myself and called me fat and picked a fight the morning of said funeral. When I was pregnant, I had complications. She made fun of me for worrying. She decided she wanted a granddaughter and kept referring to my baby as “she” and implying she wouldn’t love a boy. When I had to go to the ER in my third trimester, she said she couldn’t go with me because she was cleaning her kitchen and thought I was being dumb to worry. Later, I told her how hurtful this was. Rather than apologize, she stopped speaking to me. She kept a crib and car seat a friend had given me (they were in her basement until I could transport them) and refused to return them. I was in the hospital for 8 days having my baby, and she never called or texted to see if we were okay.
That’s just the stuff she did to me. She shoved her own blind, elderly mother in a rage because her mother accidentally bumped the christmas tree (nobody is allowed to touch her holiday decorations). A local business closed up because the owner was dying of cancer, and my mom said “good I hope it’s painful” because she CLAIMS the cashier, his daughter, gave her a funny look. She is in her 70s and has no friends and no family. She’s pushed everyone away. I was the only one who still tried.
abusive mother? did she beat you? or was she just neglectful? She was also traumatized? Very sorry to hear that you are unable to forgive her and move on. Your children will do the same to you. #generationaltrauma is no joke
God how sad
Most of the ppl nowadays lack the self control to leave quietly. Ppl who can master it are usually those who can think before they act.
I leave quietly all the time and never look back
@@HighFrequencyGuru same been doing that since 2008 just radio silence ☺️
A beautiful point.
words to live by
@@Soloman_1800That's okay with a narcissist or toxic person. But to an honest empath who trusted you and shared their heart out with you, never thought ill of you, the deafening "radio silence" is a form of torture you're giving them. We don't understand why people can suddenly behave like we don't exist now. We will remain in this state of forever seeking answer and closure. Don't do this to good people please.
By leaving, I found myself! Thank you.
Leaving my last job quietly was a great decision, tyJ!
I did the samething last month
Me too in 2023
@@BeThankfulHumble....and me. An incident occurred with an employee that they refused to deal with and they wanted me to go to the office when they're already familiar with this individual.
Instead of going to the office, I went to my locker...tossed employer related stuff in the garbage....went to the parking lot and drove off....done!
Lucky people. Can't wait until my child support is done
@@Maddie2u I commend you 100%. I am a supervisor, and I have to deal with a Narcissist on a daily basis, management won't do anything, HR protects the Narcissist. He was Insubordinate to me a few weeks back. I told him calmly then to clock out. This is the 2nd time this has happened. He has been here 23 years and feels entitled to everything. HR paid him for the night and never wrote him up. The money is really good I am making but it's time to move on. I am keeping my mouth shut when questioned.
Absolutely love this video. Going through some anxiety as a senior and landed upon this as if it were meant to be right now, serves as reminders. As I watch it, I am also faced with the fact that so many people , and me, could benefit by practicing these emotional improvements, distilling anger but moving forward. It also reiterates why I "left quietly" from relationships that depleted my energy and that I did the right thing. I was at a crossroad in my 30's and didn't listen to anyone but made some drastic changes - alone in my decision and it has forever improved my life. Had I listened to everyone, best friends, parents etc I would not be in my best place today. This video is awesome! Intelligence caps it all. Thank you!
Great mantra for those of us dealing with difficult people
Walk away in silence very effective
Having A toxic sibling is the worst.
Yes, I experienced some of this recently as a senior. I discovered that my siblings view me in a negative manner when I needed them most. Opened my eyes, was very disappointing but am letting it go and "leaving quietly" and without justifying my actions to them- well- feeling like I have to justify my actions. I keep my lifestyle to myself now so that I don't have to hear their negative feedback. I'm letting them go.
To say nothing can mean everything. Ghosting, vanishing with no self-defense, no passion, no futile remarks is a powerful way to politely refuse to grant combative reprisals from the disliked job, romance partner, church, or other entity. Exploding and explaining are pointless in many cases. People who narcissistically love to fight and win arguments will be flabbergasted, thwarted, confused by your wall of strong silence. I wish I had learned this principle many years ago.
Top tier comment!!!❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
You hear the people saying Ghosting is bad, those are the drainers and complainers.
Even the wording has a bad connotation around it. Ghost.
Truthfully, people just don't care enough to think about you enough, and that's literally why they were ghosted in the first place.
"It's the culmination of how you(ghosted person) made the relationship feel. They left. Plain and simple."
Then they complain about ghosting, but their actions lead to you just literally dropping them entirely. Hell even you got wounds from the first time probably, because compassion goes both ways and your compassion was squashed entirely and then all you have, is your choice to stop contact. And you did. And that's a great thing. Better than complaining about being Ghosted.
Like I get it, these people are sad that they can't USE you anymore.
Did it all my years and now found it rewarding and good old saying silence is better than words.
I love being alone. Please leave me alone. Go Away.....bye.
This is so true. You have to pick your battles. When you are up against a stone wall the best choice is to excuse yourself without putting up a fuss
I just prefer peace and love my own company ;as Ive gotten older, this what I prefer. Some people may consider it seems rude, but that is not what I intend.
I think it just means you are comfortable with yourself, you have the self esteem to live quietly. I too am a senior and think life reaches a point of putting things in perspective, setting priorities. I have reached a point that it is best to not be bothered with other people's garbage and issues that negatively impact my life. Want to live my final years without all the unnecessary "bs". Peace and peace of mind become more important.
We understand and I have already started integrating this into my life , I do not care what the world thinks about me anymore.All the best to you my dear friend.
There are very few people with integrity. Good people are rare.
Hence, friends and families are overrated.
You are the lucky few if you have good/genuine family and friends.
Absolutely right
I think I’ve done this my whole life without realizing it. I was a confrontational person, still am not. I prefer quiet in general, I prefer to stay silent in general, I prefer solitude in general. But I cherish the relationships I have with people. I cherish time with people who I can learn from, teach or just be with.
Sometimes you have to just leave. You can try to communicate but when that fails you just need to leave. Quietly.
It's amazing the inner peace you have when you have control over your own actions and not allowing other people to bring out a negative reaction in you they don't realise that through there negativity they actually strengthening you spiritually drawing you closer to God and giving you the ability to endure and persevere without retaliating you will then not fuel there fire making there continuous attack difficult which will eventually stop as they will run out of fuel beautiful ❤❤❤❤❤
Well put! Beautiful sentiment
I was baited by two close (former) friends. They wanted me to respond with anger, wanted me to get upset, wanted me to push back. Nope, that’s not me. I don’t play that, period. You see ‘former’ is there for a reason.
leaving quietly, and I;ve done it a few times with major relationships, gives the ones you leave behind the time to reflect on themselves! those who don;t, are too self absorbed to realize they may be at fault!
I did this after my first week at a toxic job. When i sent him an email demanding my wages he ignored it. I called a week later to ask where it was. He said, "you have to give 2 weeks notice. I don't have to pay you. fk that and fk you"
i took him to court. In my state, employers have to pay 4x overdue wages if you outright refuse to pay people. It took a year to get through the legal system but i won in the end and hopefully he learned a lesson in humility. This guy was awful there were so many red flags. I quit managers not jobs
What state? Congrats!
well done!
That's brilliant, good for you for sticking by your principles.
@@SS-yq9ku Colorado. Sadly the presiding judge was an absolute idiot. He decided, employers (recorded phone convo evidence admission) "I don't have to pay you, I am not going to pay you. Fk that nd fk you" did not constitute egregious refusal to pay so I only got 3x wages due.
I tried to challenge and prosecute against the judges ruling but ffs they make it so expensive and impossible without an attorney. Laws don't apply to the entitled. Sad world we live in.
Always stand up for the abused and disenfranchised. Take no sht attitude but try to be and give the best every day and show kindness to all. Especially those who are down and out. Stay positive and be the better person at the end of the day ✌️
Wow! I love this! I recently used this technique at a toxic job environment. Lo and behold the toxic boss was texting me one week later apologizing.
I'm glad you got what you wanted, although it's a late apology but... it means a lot.
@@AudiobooksTopSkillsLMAO! Only worried because you left silently and they think you know something and trying to cover their ass. 💯
@@Natty183or they could have been genuinely sorry for what they did & it took a lot of courage for them to admit it. Because odds are high they were struggling with something themselves and did not intend to be toxic intentionally!
Ghosting 101
This video 'Leave Quietly' resonates with me and confirms past experiences. Years ago, I was guided to stay put, say little & do less. Be, be, be not do, do, do. Now, I get it.
Your duty is to Be, and not to be this or that - Ramana Maharshi.
Thank you for articulating what my body already knew about how my sister uses silence. Holy Spirit recently showed me the importance of leaving quietly. Used in a healthy way silence is very powerful. I look forward to employing it more often.
I just wanted to say that this book is wonderful but does not apply to every circumstance. I had a narcissist block me out of his life after he robbed me blind to escape accountability for being a thief. Not everyone that leaves without explanation is justified in doing so…just wanted to let that be known 👀
Yes agreed - staying silent is a tactic. If you are being bullied at work - just RUN and find a job to protect your peace!!!
For the value they stole from you, you're now free of that thief in your life. They've chosen to distance themselves from you permanently, which might be worth the cost. A different way to look at it :)
This logic applies to YOU, not the guy who left 😊
In the book I can't remember the exact chapter but towards the end, it mentions that indeed leaving quietly does not apply to all situations. Speaking up can be a powerful way to bring about change e.g., in the case of bullying or other abuse in a professional setting.
Tell you what it is bloody good for though... leaving a narcissist.
This could not have been recommended to me at a better time. I am building my confidence up to leave toxicity with grace.
Some good advice here. I have not reacted sometimes and wondered "Was that weak ? Should I have said something?". In the end being silent was the correct, strong, thing to do. The person that treated me badly was involved in something morally reprehensible and was shown up for it. So, in the end the person was recognised for the unsavory person he was by my community.
So true 💯💯💯
I can't tell you how timely for me your message is. Thanks a lot.
It is interesting to consider that most of the given examples in the reading are probably actions necessitated by relationships with narcissists. I think this book is worth multiple listenings! Thanks for posting this and making a difference in my life!
Did this yesterday...freedom at last!
Thank you for this video. The content and narration have a reassuring and calming effect on me. I've started with saying less and leaving space between myself and others. I tend to talk alot to fill the void. It's a nervous habit. I rant and rave just to let off steam but it does me no real good. Instead I'm using other/proper channels for funneling what's going on inside of me. Less drama and more mystery is the goal.
Got it, I won’t say anything more and leave silently.
2:34 2:39 such a valuable lesson. Speak with silence!!!
I find the phrases "in today's society" and "in these times" and "these days" interesting. What exact date did they start? When do they end? How do you know what things were like previously? Were you alive then? Are human behaviors unique to "these times" and never happened before? Philosophical questions indeed.
I must have needed this badly. I listened to the whole thing in one go! Thank you! I think in today’s social media world it’s really important information.
Choose wisely ! Leaving quietly from someone that disrespects you is the thing you do almost always! However, there are times when it is necessary to voice your feelings as to not allow the toxicity to stay and fester in your soul, that can cause lasting negative affects to your inner peace and physical/mental health. Sometimes you got to say what’s on your mind and in your heart. Choose wisely.
But this example is not leaving quietly! I just don’t understand why we keep parsing this up . Leave quietly except when … nope ya leave quietly. Period. For me giving people my energy by explaining and performing training that parents should have done is annoying. I leave the frustration quietly. I get paid for my advice
The Very best Reaction to such toxicity, is Absolutely, Positively NO REACTION, Whatsoever!! They are looking for your Reaction to keep the emotional Tug-Of-War going, as they Feed off of your Negative Reactions; think of it as a food source for them, as indeed it is. They feed on Negativity. 😮
Holy cow…I really needed to hear this. Many thanks to the creator of this.
Leaving quietly doesn't necessarily have to be leaving.....and never seeing that person ever again...some people may still be in your life. Ie coworkers, etc but you limit your interactions, conversation, and association...you're never rude, but you make it clear by your actions and not words that you no longer have time for them and keep it moving. Eventually, they will reciprocate by leaving you alone.
I don’t even bother to equal petty behavior at work . I say “ok” and “good morning “ and keep it moving . When a person is ignorant I still say hello but I leave no other space for conversations . I don’t talk to morons at length .
Such books should be seen as providing good ideas and perspectives. They should not be seen as gospel truth and apply to every situation. People apply all or none law which is the problem.
There are bullies and tyrants and if they are never defeated they will just keep doing the same thing forever. Someone has to stand up to them at some point.
My great grands say: "BS, for every one person who leaves this way, there are 1000 who create continuous drama and direct continuous angst towards the peaceful ones whom chose to quietly part ways. Do you keep being quiet or do you stand up and advocate for yourself? The aggressors won't let go of you and won't get over your absence, they will create many elaborate ways to make your journey yonder extremely not quietly."
Yes they may do that, but it won’t matter, because you won’t be around to listen to it. And anyone who comes to you to tell you about what they are saying is to be avoided also.
Friends for a reason, Friends for a season........and for some a friend or two for life.
Normal.
Sometimes, saying nothing speaks louder than words. Silence can be a form of self control, protecting your energy from unnecessary drama or conflict. It’s not about suppressing your feelings but about choosing when and how to express them.
Giving feedback isn't complaining and by giving feedback I've brought about lots of change.
*listens to audiobook*
*ponders thoughtfully*
*leaves quietly*
Perfect timing, thank you
Best advice I've heard.
A.I. Narration and repetitive content shows that this book is just RUclips algorithm-loaded content and not created by a credible author who deserves your time.
Yup. Lack of an author furthers this point. A.I. is stupid and worthless
OH HOW TIMELY! Thank you.
The Universe is silent where our Planet is so noisy.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
When I have things reasonably organized and an idea of my next move, I will sell the god forsaken condo with it's miserable board in the most discreet way.
No byes to anyone, no letting amyone know where just simply leave.
I don't why it feels better to just quiet leave a place too, but it does.
This audio book is awesome. I was needing it. Thank you
Wow...this came right on time.
Thankyou for sharing.
any info on who wrote this detailed instructional of ghosting? i quite enjoyed it
yapping is silver, ghosting is gold.
I’m very glad I came across this wonderful channel, I subscribed 😊 ❤️ from the uk 🇬🇧 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
There is a line between ghosting and leaving quietly. Ghosting can be hurtful too
Absolutely. I like to run it by Jesus, to make sure I’m doing it after I’ve been compassionate, and my heart is in the right place. Be sure to follow through and not waffle with your decision. In some cases a very brief explanation can be used to give the person some closure, but then don’t respond, or read anything after that. Block if you need to keep the energy away from you.
This is on my bucket list: To manage to leave quietly, at least once.
Leave quietly with dignity but don’t be a cowardly ghost.
Can someone please tell me the name of the author and official name of the book please?
A or not, this is excellent content, thank you.
All that's suggested here can be beneficial for some but i think for most people it would likely end up alienating them from the rest. You need to be put together or very charismatic already for this to do good in my opinion.
Thank you for this great read and lessons.
I'm an over explainer... Hope this content will help me 😊
Slience can be avoidance
And punishment
Thank you .
📖👍👌🏻🙏🙏🕊🦋
Was this written by AI? I can't find this book anywhere, and some excerpts are very reminiscent of ChatGPT's writing style.
This should be called Ghosting for Dummies: A Handbook for Avoidant Personality Types . 😂🤣 Leaving possible domestic abuse situations being the exception. That is described perfectly.
And the narration is TikTok style.
Definitely AI. No author, sources, etc.
this is only necessary when your dealing with a brick wall. the bigger question is why on Earth is someone in this situation. If you have to escape a situation where the truth would only put you in danger > you have bigger problems < The answer isn't to leave quietly. The answer is > you need to stay in places where the truth is more important than your or the other person's feelings. Only in uncompromising honesty is reality clear. We learn by facing hard truth's... NOT by running away while telling yourself > this is what a confident person does... but hey, i guess there are first steps ...
Am working on leaving even social media posts and youtube videos quietly. Tired of being manipulated into responding to/with manufactured outrage. My time and energy is not yours for the taking anymore.
I feel this…. I’m finding meaning in my peace.
Perfect Narration 🎉...
TikTok, AI 😅voice.
I don't like small talk and my sister-in-law who I barely know is all of a sudden inviting herself to our home for days on end. This last time for was 10 days. After days of talking I ran out of things to say. Don't know how to remedy the situation. She invites herself and my husband without consulting me lets her come. I was so exhausted by the time she left I was almost in a coma. LOL
Wow I love this Lord❤
Amen!
LORD INTERNET.. that is. Where the World prays to Facebook, TikTok and Instagram paying pilgrimage 24 hours a day everyday.
i was able to moveout of a toxic mean girl firendbombing friendship aimed at stepping on me for use with the help of this book
7:18 this should be thought in schools👏
I've been doing this for years. 💅
Me too. ❤
Love this channel
Apply where needed ! Points are powerful and collaborative discussions.
People keep telling me, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease," and I tell them, "The squeaky wheel often gets the boot."
The Art of War!
A great video. Thank you!
Thank You ❤🙏
I divorced my first husband and he didn’t believe me when I took my maiden name back because he said he didn’t consent after years of abuse.
Needed these gems. Thank you.
My mother mastered this ❤
Very stoic.
Really good advice 🖤
Thank you so much.
It doesn’t matter how you leave if the people you tried leaving behind keep following you around.
I liked and subscribed to your channel, wish the channel grows strongly
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Who is the gd author? I want a physical copy 😊
I met a guy in Istanbul. I tend to fall into limerance quite easily. I left him a note expressong how much I appreciated him and gave him my number . To be fair we only knew each other for 6 days. But over text, he ghosted me twice, once for 6 days and then abruptly for 8 days. Those were such emotionally wrecking days for me. He texted me after 8 days like nothing happened. He didnt even say sorry for ghosting me. I planned to not even open his message, but I did by accident and seen zoned him. I didnt say anything, he hasnt contacted me and I havent contacted him. I left quietly to preserve my dignity, but sometimes i still feel hurt. Sometimes i feel like it was my fault although he tried to manipulate me so obviously. Im so scared of people now. A smiling face can hide so much evil.
That ones on you.
Clingy.
This is good
Muito obrigado 👍 Eu vou adotar esse princípio 🔇
Thanks for listening, please spread this good motivation to everyone.
reminds me of the end of the Truman's show