This is all relatively normal. You have had a lot of “situational” friendships. You will learn which ones are “real” over time, especially as you face adversity and loss in life, and see which friends are there for you and which suddenly disappear. It gets harder to make new friends as you get older (for many many reasons ... you can read about it!), which will help cement the best of the “old” friendships as well. Truly knowing someone takes a long long time, so don’t rush anything.
O dear... U are so relatable in every terms.. Especially that friendship thing ... I m also introverted...Even I didn't have any single best friend in my life.All of them used to be so fake n superficial at times. I became my own best friend. U are a sweetheart😘❤❤❤
I can really relate to wondering whether my friends see me in the same way as I see them.. I think it stems from not feeling good enough/lack of confidence in yourself 😔💛
Anyone can be your soulmate. Literally anyone from your parent, siblings even friends. We really should stop viewing boyfriends/girlfriends as the only ones who can be our soulmates.
We should generally be careful with using the term, since we and our needs and values change over the years, so the question is if you can even apply the term to someone, since it suggests (in my opinion) eternity. It also puts a lot of expectations and pressure on a relationship.
@@o0OHermioneO0o completely agree. I think we should fine a balance in everything in life including not putting pressure or responsibility on others. This comes with knowing oneself or even the acceptance that not everything goes the way we want them to go in life.
This sounds very homy, thank you for helping me reveal my feelings and difficulties. I feel so much more confident only with one person, I actually barely open my mouth when there’s a group of people around me and for the same reason as you mentioned- I think that I have nothing worthy to say. You’ve grown so much since your first video!
She’s so pretty but when she speaks her thoughts out she gets even prettier to me.. I feel the exact same way about these topics and it makes me realize how harshly I criticise myself but when someone else says it I am usually very understanding of it. Thank you so much for these sit down videos. They are like a comforting hug.
hi Holly, I'm soo glad you spoke up abt this, it's something that I'm unfortunately guilty of. Thank you for this! It really makes me not alone, if that makes sense. And to everyone else, dealing with such a struggle, a large scale or small scale, it all matters. You're genuinely worth a good friend. A real one, who's gonna be there for you regardless of all circumstances. keep your head up, back straight and walk the road of life, you might slip and fall on the way but one day there will be someone who's ready to leave their own roads to save you from falling. ♡ 💛
holly you have a really nice personality you don't need any friend , I struggle with socializing too I feel really stress out when I see new people .thank you for your honest chat
Holly take the Myers-Briggs personality test it’s actually really enlightening! I’m an INFJ and I completely understand everything you said about socialising/being an outsider/questioning friendships/questioning if there’s something wrong with me. Since I’ve found out more about my personality (and the fact there’s others out there like me) it’s been extremely helpful and comforting!! I honestly watch your channel because you’re so similar to me, you might benefit from taking this test as a bit of self reflection! sending love 💓
Yes! I’m an INFJ too and I agree with everything haha. I struggle with friendships, I feel like I’m best off alone but I also need to socialise every now and then to feel sane.
I resonate with you Holly, about those doubts regarding whether people like you or not, or if they consider you as important for them as they are for you... sometimes it hurts, and quarantine is not making it easier to keep friendships or to have a constant communication, but go on. As you said, you can always count on Emily, while still trying to chat with your friends from uni even if they are small conversations. Wish you the best
I relate to this so much!!! I can sometimes question my friendships and wonder whether or not it's the current situation that brought us together or whether they really genuinely want to be friends with me. Very comforting to see that so many people can relate to this too!
I also struggled with the 1 best friend thing. Kind of wanted to feel the sense of belonging but now it’s changing and now I realise that I can be alone without that best friend thing and be happy and feel that this is where I belong. I control it, no one else!
Oh Holly, I can relate to sooo much of what you're saying!. From the way you were just not used to being around boys a lot growing up to the feeling of being a true loner, like in the end I don't really belong to anyone or feeling like I will never truly be part of a community or be friends forever. So I feel you. Also about realizing to maybe have social anxiety. But seeing you in your videos, you seem like SUCH a fun personality and so completely yourself! You are someone people want to be friends with :)
I used to feel like my voice didn't have a place in social situations too. Now I realise that most people feel the same deep down at some level or another, and everybody wants to feel included, which makes them all the more relatable to me. I've also come to realise that we can't please 'em all and no matter what we say, or how we say it, some people will be predisposed to be offended by it. I'm OK with that now. I can't control their predisposition so I'm just gonna be me, worry-free and if they don't like it, that's their choice. I used to worry dreadfully about inadvertently offending people through my own social ignorance, not knowing their background. Now I realise it was their choice to be offended and their responsibility, not mine.
From where do I begin, Holly, I could relate to you at SO SO many levels. I never knew someone apart from me felt all these emotions. From the start to social anxiety to unable to socialize with boys. I'm so so proud of how far you've come. I hope I grow and evolve into a better version of myself too. ❤️
I literally relate SOOO MUCHH to this videoo.. so thank you❤ for making us feel less excluded, or weird.. and that everyone is so confident at socialising, and making boy friends.. and not feeling awkward or anxious about it ! (16:04)
Very relatable, especially how you talked about social anxiety and doubting friends. Going to a prestigious and competitive university in the US really made it difficult to socialize as an introvert and feeling imposter syndrome as you mentioned.
Thanks Holly💛💛💛The *BEST* decision I've ever made was to walk away from toxic friendships / let unhelpful 'friendships' slowly/naturally drift away (even if it doesn't feel nice at the time, or you feel like you SHOULD be friends because they are your colleagues/collegemates/whatever - honestly - from experience - if it isn't serving you, the earlier it's let go the better!) I'm blessed enough to have some incredibly close childhood friends which is lovely (but over time and as we've moved away from home our friendship has changed too, to allow other aspects of life to fit in! That adjustment process takes a while too though as everyone is moving through the stages of life at their own pace...)
OMG Holly, I CANNOT believe that I have had this problem through my whole life and sometimes it brought me to tears and I thought maybe there is something wrong with me. Thank You !!!!! for making me feel that it is completely normal and that I am not alone. Also, I have watched all your videos, and believe me you are the most charming, beautiful, kind-hearted individual among the social gatherings. literally, throughout the whole video, a smile is drawn on my face and I start feeling hyped and energetic. I love love love love you
Oh my gosh. Thank you for this Holly. I can relate 110% to your social anxiety and struggles with friendship experiences. I can't put to words everything, but I honestly had those feelings and I still have them now, sadly. On top of that, I also have self-confidence issues and it all gives me a lot of anxiety and stress. But I am gradually trying to get out of my shell and try to do things outside of my comfort zone. It is indeed a tough journey, but as long as we don't stop, we'll somehow get through all this. I honestly want to be your friend. Sorry if that sounded creepy, but yeah.
I am 21 years old and I have known for quite a long time now that I have social anxiety (for about 5 years I would say)... but it took me several years to finally acknowledge that I need external help and that I can't get out of it on my own...(I also have to say at this point that it was not the worst and that I know of a lot of people who have really severe social anxiety and luckily I was not THAT deep into it, but still...I began to suffer from it more and more...) and I started going to therapy in February this year and it has been the absolutely BEST decision I have EVER made!!!! I encourage every single soul out there to get help from a therapist if they are struggling with anxiety or have other mental health issues!! I can relate to what you're saying about your "symptoms" of social anxiety when you're at Uni or around a group of strangers so so SOOOO MUCH!! But it has gotten so much better since I've started seeing my therapist!
I'm in the end of my twenties and i definitely recognize what you are saying about social anxiety and about maintaining friendships. I feel like my anxiety has also caused me to Engage less in friendships and therefore loose them..
I'm loosing them in my late 20s, even without any anxiety! They all just have other better friends and distance makes it harder to stay in contact. But I think oppurtunities to meet and make new friends will always be there somehow, just definetly getting a lot harder with age I feel like
I find friendships soo hard to navigate. My advice to anyone and myself is to be authentic don't try and fit in.. Be yourself. Because u have been there where I was being something I wasn't to fit in and please others and it didn't fulfil me! Time and energy is so precious
16 mins of relating!! i have very similar thoughts & even though I grew up around boys (brothers, mixed schools, hockey), I also find it reallyyyy weird to 'just' talk to guys. pls do more of these sit downs videos!
About first part of the video: I like to think the other way around. Why am I feeling anxiety or awkward when around people that I dont know? Are they some way better than me, smarter than me, prettier than me or whatever? Have I done something wrong and they are always the "mister right"? The answer is No and is a big one. So chill, relax. Nobody is going to judge you. Even if they will so what? Do they know you? -No. So their judgement will be wrong. The second part: When we are younger we relate so much with the people we call friends and we think that they will be there for the rest of our lifes. We will have fun, trips together, concerts together, everything together. But when you grow up you realise that everything in life is changing and you dont know what the future holds. You grow mentally, you get more mature and your life goals change. Then you realise that your friends are having the same changes in their lifes too. And thats normal. I mean lets say your best friend is Judy. You were bffs from like forever. You both grow up, go to college etc and you realise that your lifes are not the same as they were a couple of years ago. And let just say Judy has a boyfriend, she gets married, has kids, has a family. Or she moves to another city/country for better life/job. And Judys life circumstances are not the same as yours anymore (tho they were never the same). But what am I trying to say is that its not bad if you dont have real friends. If you do have them your relationship with them will change in some point of your lifes, like that or not, thats life. You may say well maybe Judy will call me and well be in touch every single day. Yes but you wont have the same relationship as you always had. Or for example I know a group of 5,6 girls and they are hanging together but they are not real friends. Every girl is talking something behind the back of the other. And everybody who knows them knows that. So is it better to have friends that you dont talk with that much or a fake ones? Deff the first ones. And remember, you always have somebody in your family with whom you could be a best friend, bc once a family always a family.
Holly, I understand what you are saying. I can relate to this topic because I struggled making friends all my life too. I had one best friend who was four years younger than me in elementary school when I was 10 years old and one in grade 7 in intermediate school when I was 12 years old, but unfortunately they moved away. I tried making friends with other girls, but it just did not work out because they realized that I behaved differently than them and I did not share the same interests on things like they did due to my Asperger's Syndrome. One girl in my special education class when I was in grade 9 and 10 at age 14 and 15 did not talk to me. She talked to other boys and girls, but just not me and I do not know why. I always felt that there was something wrong with me mentally and appearance wise. I felt ignored at school in grade 9 and 10 and I felt very unhappy about it.
I can relate because I'm quite similar to you, but I'm here to say that being an introvert is not a bad thing at all. I notice that so many people refer to it as a bad quality one has to get rid of. And that's just a misconception. We just need more alone time than extroverts in order to recharge. The social anxiety, shyness etc. are separate from intraversion. Just a side note, loved this video!
This was SO relatable! Especially the feeling of having a shelf-life that's going to expire. And also overthinking everything I say in front of a group of people...thank you for posting this and making me feel less alone 😅❤️
Am new to your channel and ur views/opinions r so pure and true. I really like ur originality and trueness to the camera. Some ppl just fake in front of the camera but u r proud of what u r. Girl power
‘I am friends with people, but it doesn’t feel like people are friends with me’ that’s exactly what I almost always feel! I don’t have friends in the town where I live, all the friends I do have live at least half an hour by car away from me and I don’t have a driver’s license. Almost all of them have a job, so they don’t have a lot of time to hang out and I’m still looking for a graphic design job for after I graduate. I feel like I’m never getting my life together and my friends are just going to move on and forget about me.
I don't like commenting vids but I feel it's important to say things sometimes... because we often don't. So this goes out to everyone here: It's totally fine to struggle with social situations and friendships. Sure, working on it is good and every step is wonderful. Along the way, though, do enjoy your time. Being different and struggling with things does not mean anything is wrong with you. And maybe we can create a world where difference doesn't come with unnecessary barriers. Also: Hi Holly. Love your videos, mainly for just you. It's nice to be reminded of the existance of awesome people.
Greetings from another introvert person with same struggles! I am also last year master's student from Croatia, I watch your videos since your starts of university and you are very nice and intelligent person. I wish you all the best in your life 😊.
I can totally relate with the social anxiety thing and thinking that people will dislike me. Thats why I can never join conversation in a group. And even if I struggle to do that I feel unheard or unnoticeable. I’m also very relatable to friend and guy thing. I can count in one hand how many guys I’ve ever spoken to. These 2 do not click to me. I feel my social anxiety has worsened with confinement.
I am an ambivert and I have really bad social anxiety. I just don't tell more here but I wanna say that Holly's channel give me answers to my questions in my head . 9:43 same here holly sometimes I run away from the people group and cry in the washroom. I don't how to deal with it. This situation 10:39 you are talking about is 100percent similar holly. I always feel, right now too my friends don't like me 😞. I got some clues about my friends which means they are backstabbing me . I just feel terrible 🥺 I just want a sister like holly. Yeah I have a brother but our relationship is not good he is busy with his work and argues all the time with me. I would really happy if I got Emily and holly as my elder sisters (I am 16years) you both are so motivating, sweet and loving🥰.
i always thought i was the only one who thought like this but everything you said i feel exactly the same - thank you for sharing this it was so reassuring to know i'm not the only one who feels this way
Many gave u advices related to this..but u knw what i can like totally relate to u 100%..those thoughts when u speak..and then u think abt those things what u have spoken..andh how people would take that ..uff that s a struggle
I relate to you wondering about whether people like you. I always think that people simply tolerate me but don't actually like me. A lot of people will not reach out to me if I don't reach out to them. I have always had a difficult time opening up to people and making friends. I thougt things were okay in my college class, but then I realized people had made all these group apps and were chatting and doing stuff together and I wasn't part of any of it. At this point I have just given up and accepted that I won't ever really have any friends. I guess I forced myself to put up walls so that it doesn't hurt anymore. Social anxiety is very hard.
I totally feel you! Couldnt agree more about feeling out of place and not feeling like most friendships are really genuine. Sometimes it does feel forced and just to be nice. I guess it has to do with our self image and insecurities. I relate with everything you said! You really spoke my mind. I also feel awkward talking to guys up until this day hahahaha so ur not alone gurl we forget that guys r also just human like us but we make them seem so scary and intimidating haha
Everyone is in a different situation and you are in the perfect position fit for yourself. Don't try and live life something you shouldn't. However, keep up the brilliant content and keep smiling.
I’d say I quite possibly have social anxiety and I also constantly doubt my friendships. I can’t ask my friends to go out because I don’t know if they ever want to go out with me. I don’t know how to get closer with people and I can’t take an action until I know for sure they want to get closer with me. So obviously I don’t have many friends…
I swear I love these kind of videos I FEEL LIKE HOLLY IS SPEAKING TO ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺and we are friends omg! Also holly omg please make that curly hair method video 😩😩😩
Oh I didn't know all these struggles are this common...I think I am the member of the same squad....cheers to that😅👍 I really appreciate how you shared your struggles out loud...as this can be really helpful to those who can't and encouraging to work on their issues...hope for more such videos in future😊🤘
💛💛 Loved this sit down, chatty video! I can relate to several points, especially social anxiety even with friends I've known for a while. I'm also an introvert and although I sometimes wish I had more friends and more social interactions, I do need my time alone to recharge!
Hi Holly! I've been diagnosed with Asperger's as a young adult and I really relate with your experience (on this, and on many other levels, like relationship to food, depth of my interests/focusing abilities/work life, habits and routines, views on norms, relationship to clothes to name only a few). You might be interested in researching content related to ASD to find similar points of view on all those things, as well as tips and the like! (for example, on YT, Anja Melissa or Amythest Schaber) Thank you for your awesome content ☀️
hi holly i think its so important to have really true friends but i can totaly agree with what your saying about questioning how true the friendship is on the other persons part threw the whole pandenic ive learnt this one the hard way but i am lucky to say that i have my two best friends who i know have my back and truly are my friends cos they want to be x
w/ the pandemic, I many of us are questioning the whole friendship dynamics that we were kind of thought through pop culture and stuff (e.g. the one single bestfriend...that’s what we see on TV and films). It’s so powerful to get by well on your own and then fully enjoy those glimpses of ideal friendships comprised in moments we get to spend with people that we like. If we long for those moments rather than for the people, we all take such a huge burden off of our backs. Idk if it makes sense, hopefully to someone it does haha 🐝 🐝
I completely get this video so much! This is super relatable to me. ❤️ I have a true best friend although I do have the thoughts of not being enough in friendships. So thank you for this video!
🐝💛 OMG I get what you mean so much! I feel the same sometimes. I have good friends but I sometimes question things. You and you sister do have an amazing connection 😊
I am really glad that I am not the only one with social anxiety, because most of the time it really feels like it. Isnt it the worst when you do speak up in a group and people around you look at each other like you just said the dumbest thing? I hate it so much! Awful. I like you Holly. 😌
I'm glad that I clicked on this video because I ended up relating to SO much more of it than I expected. If you see this, could you make a video on how you shifted your mindset to being a graduate student/Cambridge student and how you set yourself up for success in this? I have always been a student and loved studying but I am going to start my graduate studies this Fall and have found a lot of inspiration and help in your productivity videos but am curious how you shifted mentally/socially into the student role more so.
Girl, the same thing happens to me! Hahaha! I guess we just have to push ourselves (to make friends). My motto is "be the friend you want to have". Hope this helps! 🤣❣️
I really appreciate all your videos ,I would love to see u put out separate videos for food recipes becuz I absolutely want to get into a healthier diet and love ur vlogs a lot.Sending lots of love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
When i was in HS i had tons of fake friends, even after that, i still had "friends".. Once i got married and had my first son, i realized all the mistakes i have done on choosing friendships and feel alone at times because i dont have anyone to talk to besides my husband, and my mom 😐 hopefully this doesnt happen to anyone else
You know why I like your videos ? You are sooooo damn much like sooooooooo much like me ..I completely relate with you ..I m from India and I feel you're a western version of me ...love you alot ❤️
Great video and good to hear that you can relate. I do lack confidence at times but have been working on being more confident. Love 🥰 the video and love 💕💕you.
This is all relatively normal. You have had a lot of “situational” friendships. You will learn which ones are “real” over time, especially as you face adversity and loss in life, and see which friends are there for you and which suddenly disappear. It gets harder to make new friends as you get older (for many many reasons ... you can read about it!), which will help cement the best of the “old” friendships as well. Truly knowing someone takes a long long time, so don’t rush anything.
ah amy this is such great advice, thank you so much! 😊
ABSOLUTELY RELATABLE!!!, Holly
" are they proper friendships? "
I know I know
O dear... U are so relatable in every terms.. Especially that friendship thing ... I m also introverted...Even I didn't have any single best friend in my life.All of them used to be so fake n superficial at times. I became my own best friend.
U are a sweetheart😘❤❤❤
Same !!
The shelf-life analogy is so perfect! You’re definitely not alone in feeling those things! ❤️🐝
i do love a good analogy 😉 and it's so nice to hear that i'm not alone in feeling this way 😌🙌🏻
I can really relate to wondering whether my friends see me in the same way as I see them.. I think it stems from not feeling good enough/lack of confidence in yourself 😔💛
@Holly Gabrîelle I’m not sure I understand, was this by accident?
@@Elena-pq8yp ah elena someone was spamming, i'm so sorry 🤨🙄 . . . i'm trying to remove the comments now!!
@@HollyGabrielle haha I thought so 😂 no worries xx
Holly please more"to-do lists vlogs" !!!!! I really love those..... they just give me so much motivation !!!
Yes please!
Omg, yees!!! 🙈
* filming one this week * 😉
@@HollyGabrielle yay !!!!!
Anyone can be your soulmate. Literally anyone from your parent, siblings even friends. We really should stop viewing boyfriends/girlfriends as the only ones who can be our soulmates.
can a cat be your soul mate? cos the only ones I connect with are cats
@Holly Gabrîelle um I think you might have been hacked holly haha
this is so true!!!
We should generally be careful with using the term, since we and our needs and values change over the years, so the question is if you can even apply the term to someone, since it suggests (in my opinion) eternity. It also puts a lot of expectations and pressure on a relationship.
@@o0OHermioneO0o completely agree. I think we should fine a balance in everything in life including not putting pressure or responsibility on others. This comes with knowing oneself or even the acceptance that not everything goes the way we want them to go in life.
I too always feel like there's something wrong with me. That someone will drop me when they find someone better. You're not alone.
it's so nice to hear that i'm not alone!
This sounds very homy, thank you for helping me reveal my feelings and difficulties. I feel so much more confident only with one person, I actually barely open my mouth when there’s a group of people around me and for the same reason as you mentioned- I think that I have nothing worthy to say. You’ve grown so much since your first video!
She’s so pretty but when she speaks her thoughts out she gets even prettier to me.. I feel the exact same way about these topics and it makes me realize how harshly I criticise myself but when someone else says it I am usually very understanding of it. Thank you so much for these sit down videos. They are like a comforting hug.
Also 💛💛 forgot these
hi Holly, I'm soo glad you spoke up abt this, it's something that I'm unfortunately guilty of. Thank you for this! It really makes me not alone, if that makes sense. And to everyone else, dealing with such a struggle, a large scale or small scale, it all matters. You're genuinely worth a good friend. A real one, who's gonna be there for you regardless of all circumstances. keep your head up, back straight and walk the road of life, you might slip and fall on the way but one day there will be someone who's ready to leave their own roads to save you from falling.
♡ 💛
holly you have a really nice personality you don't need any friend , I struggle with socializing too I feel really stress out when I see new people .thank you for your honest chat
Holly take the Myers-Briggs personality test it’s actually really enlightening! I’m an INFJ and I completely understand everything you said about socialising/being an outsider/questioning friendships/questioning if there’s something wrong with me. Since I’ve found out more about my personality (and the fact there’s others out there like me) it’s been extremely helpful and comforting!! I honestly watch your channel because you’re so similar to me, you might benefit from taking this test as a bit of self reflection! sending love 💓
Yes! I’m an INFJ too and I agree with everything haha. I struggle with friendships, I feel like I’m best off alone but I also need to socialise every now and then to feel sane.
I agree!! Would love to see her take this test! I’m an ESFJ 😊
same i am infj and can relate:)
I am ENFJ - T
I resonate with you Holly, about those doubts regarding whether people like you or not, or if they consider you as important for them as they are for you... sometimes it hurts, and quarantine is not making it easier to keep friendships or to have a constant communication, but go on. As you said, you can always count on Emily, while still trying to chat with your friends from uni even if they are small conversations. Wish you the best
This is soo relatable!!!!
Whenever I try to socialize, I end up looking ridiculous and ignored...
i've always found it hard, but as i said, travelling has really helped me!!!
Omg u r the first person I can like 100% relate.. the overthinking and people not really wanting to be friends.. thank you for this video!
I relate to this so much!!! I can sometimes question my friendships and wonder whether or not it's the current situation that brought us together or whether they really genuinely want to be friends with me. Very comforting to see that so many people can relate to this too!
I also struggled with the 1 best friend thing. Kind of wanted to feel the sense of belonging but now it’s changing and now I realise that I can be alone without that best friend thing and be happy and feel that this is where I belong. I control it, no one else!
Oh Holly, I can relate to sooo much of what you're saying!. From the way you were just not used to being around boys a lot growing up to the feeling of being a true loner, like in the end I don't really belong to anyone or feeling like I will never truly be part of a community or be friends forever. So I feel you. Also about realizing to maybe have social anxiety.
But seeing you in your videos, you seem like SUCH a fun personality and so completely yourself! You are someone people want to be friends with :)
I used to feel like my voice didn't have a place in social situations too. Now I realise that most people feel the same deep down at some level or another, and everybody wants to feel included, which makes them all the more relatable to me. I've also come to realise that we can't please 'em all and no matter what we say, or how we say it, some people will be predisposed to be offended by it. I'm OK with that now. I can't control their predisposition so I'm just gonna be me, worry-free and if they don't like it, that's their choice. I used to worry dreadfully about inadvertently offending people through my own social ignorance, not knowing their background. Now I realise it was their choice to be offended and their responsibility, not mine.
You are strong bro 🥰
From where do I begin,
Holly, I could relate to you at SO SO many levels. I never knew someone apart from me felt all these emotions. From the start to social anxiety to unable to socialize with boys. I'm so so proud of how far you've come. I hope I grow and evolve into a better version of myself too. ❤️
I literally relate SOOO MUCHH to this videoo.. so thank you❤ for making us feel less excluded, or weird.. and that everyone is so confident at socialising, and making boy friends.. and not feeling awkward or anxious about it ! (16:04)
Very relatable, especially how you talked about social anxiety and doubting friends. Going to a prestigious and competitive university in the US really made it difficult to socialize as an introvert and feeling imposter syndrome as you mentioned.
Thanks Holly💛💛💛The *BEST* decision I've ever made was to walk away from toxic friendships / let unhelpful 'friendships' slowly/naturally drift away (even if it doesn't feel nice at the time, or you feel like you SHOULD be friends because they are your colleagues/collegemates/whatever - honestly - from experience - if it isn't serving you, the earlier it's let go the better!)
I'm blessed enough to have some incredibly close childhood friends which is lovely (but over time and as we've moved away from home our friendship has changed too, to allow other aspects of life to fit in! That adjustment process takes a while too though as everyone is moving through the stages of life at their own pace...)
this is true and something i will learn simply with more life experience i suppose?! thank you!!! 💚🙌🏻
OMG Holly, I CANNOT believe that I have had this problem through my whole life and sometimes it brought me to tears and I thought maybe there is something wrong with me. Thank You !!!!! for making me feel that it is completely normal and that I am not alone. Also, I have watched all your videos, and believe me you are the most charming, beautiful, kind-hearted individual among the social gatherings. literally, throughout the whole video, a smile is drawn on my face and I start feeling hyped and energetic. I love love love love you
Oh my gosh. Thank you for this Holly. I can relate 110% to your social anxiety and struggles with friendship experiences. I can't put to words everything, but I honestly had those feelings and I still have them now, sadly. On top of that, I also have self-confidence issues and it all gives me a lot of anxiety and stress. But I am gradually trying to get out of my shell and try to do things outside of my comfort zone. It is indeed a tough journey, but as long as we don't stop, we'll somehow get through all this. I honestly want to be your friend. Sorry if that sounded creepy, but yeah.
I am 21 years old and I have known for quite a long time now that I have social anxiety (for about 5 years I would say)... but it took me several years to finally acknowledge that I need external help and that I can't get out of it on my own...(I also have to say at this point that it was not the worst and that I know of a lot of people who have really severe social anxiety and luckily I was not THAT deep into it, but still...I began to suffer from it more and more...) and I started going to therapy in February this year and it has been the absolutely BEST decision I have EVER made!!!! I encourage every single soul out there to get help from a therapist if they are struggling with anxiety or have other mental health issues!! I can relate to what you're saying about your "symptoms" of social anxiety when you're at Uni or around a group of strangers so so SOOOO MUCH!! But it has gotten so much better since I've started seeing my therapist!
I'm in the end of my twenties and i definitely recognize what you are saying about social anxiety and about maintaining friendships. I feel like my anxiety has also caused me to Engage less in friendships and therefore loose them..
I'm loosing them in my late 20s, even without any anxiety! They all just have other better friends and distance makes it harder to stay in contact. But I think oppurtunities to meet and make new friends will always be there somehow, just definetly getting a lot harder with age I feel like
I too am very close with my sister and have always described her as my best friend ! What a wonderful relationship to have 💕
most relationships are more trouble than they're worth !!
It’s certainly important to be careful who we invite into our lives. Not everyone who is nice and friendly is trustworthy.
thanks for the heads up haha 😅
After going out with a few arseholes I agree 😂😑
I find friendships soo hard to navigate. My advice to anyone and myself is to be authentic don't try and fit in.. Be yourself. Because u have been there where I was being something I wasn't to fit in and please others and it didn't fulfil me! Time and energy is so precious
16 mins of relating!! i have very similar thoughts & even though I grew up around boys (brothers, mixed schools, hockey), I also find it reallyyyy weird to 'just' talk to guys. pls do more of these sit downs videos!
i'm so glad you could relate!!!
About first part of the video:
I like to think the other way around. Why am I feeling anxiety or awkward when around people that I dont know? Are they some way better than me, smarter than me, prettier than me or whatever? Have I done something wrong and they are always the "mister right"? The answer is No and is a big one. So chill, relax. Nobody is going to judge you. Even if they will so what? Do they know you? -No. So their judgement will be wrong.
The second part:
When we are younger we relate so much with the people we call friends and we think that they will be there for the rest of our lifes. We will have fun, trips together, concerts together, everything together. But when you grow up you realise that everything in life is changing and you dont know what the future holds. You grow mentally, you get more mature and your life goals change. Then you realise that your friends are having the same changes in their lifes too. And thats normal. I mean lets say your best friend is Judy. You were bffs from like forever. You both grow up, go to college etc and you realise that your lifes are not the same as they were a couple of years ago. And let just say Judy has a boyfriend, she gets married, has kids, has a family. Or she moves to another city/country for better life/job. And Judys life circumstances are not the same as yours anymore (tho they were never the same). But what am I trying to say is that its not bad if you dont have real friends. If you do have them your relationship with them will change in some point of your lifes, like that or not, thats life. You may say well maybe Judy will call me and well be in touch every single day. Yes but you wont have the same relationship as you always had. Or for example I know a group of 5,6 girls and they are hanging together but they are not real friends. Every girl is talking something behind the back of the other. And everybody who knows them knows that. So is it better to have friends that you dont talk with that much or a fake ones? Deff the first ones.
And remember, you always have somebody in your family with whom you could be a best friend, bc once a family always a family.
💛💛
friendships with age changes just like we change with age and different experiences.
at the end of the day everyone is different and that's normal.
I feel the same way about going “out of date” and social anxiety 💛
Holly, I understand what you are saying. I can relate to this topic because I struggled making friends all my life too. I had one best friend who was four years younger than me in elementary school when I was 10 years old and one in grade 7 in intermediate school when I was 12 years old, but unfortunately they moved away. I tried making friends with other girls, but it just did not work out because they realized that I behaved differently than them and I did not share the same interests on things like they did due to my Asperger's Syndrome. One girl in my special education class when I was in grade 9 and 10 at age 14 and 15 did not talk to me. She talked to other boys and girls, but just not me and I do not know why. I always felt that there was something wrong with me mentally and appearance wise. I felt ignored at school in grade 9 and 10 and I felt very unhappy about it.
I can relate because I'm quite similar to you, but I'm here to say that being an introvert is not a bad thing at all. I notice that so many people refer to it as a bad quality one has to get rid of. And that's just a misconception. We just need more alone time than extroverts in order to recharge. The social anxiety, shyness etc. are separate from intraversion. Just a side note, loved this video!
This was SO relatable! Especially the feeling of having a shelf-life that's going to expire. And also overthinking everything I say in front of a group of people...thank you for posting this and making me feel less alone 😅❤️
Am new to your channel and ur views/opinions r so pure and true. I really like ur originality and trueness to the camera. Some ppl just fake in front of the camera but u r proud of what u r. Girl power
This makes me feel like she’s my sister, love u!
‘I am friends with people, but it doesn’t feel like people are friends with me’ that’s exactly what I almost always feel! I don’t have friends in the town where I live, all the friends I do have live at least half an hour by car away from me and I don’t have a driver’s license. Almost all of them have a job, so they don’t have a lot of time to hang out and I’m still looking for a graphic design job for after I graduate. I feel like I’m never getting my life together and my friends are just going to move on and forget about me.
9:26 that's me !! And that's why it's hard for me to talk new ppl again !!
11:11 omg same !!!
Everything you said related to me so much, I'm so pleased you are growing and showing that it is possible to come out of your shell! xx
I don't like commenting vids but I feel it's important to say things sometimes... because we often don't. So this goes out to everyone here:
It's totally fine to struggle with social situations and friendships. Sure, working on it is good and every step is wonderful. Along the way, though, do enjoy your time. Being different and struggling with things does not mean anything is wrong with you. And maybe we can create a world where difference doesn't come with unnecessary barriers.
Also: Hi Holly. Love your videos, mainly for just you. It's nice to be reminded of the existance of awesome people.
Greetings from another introvert person with same struggles! I am also last year master's student from Croatia, I watch your videos since your starts of university and you are very nice and intelligent person. I wish you all the best in your life 😊.
I can totally relate with the social anxiety thing and thinking that people will dislike me. Thats why I can never join conversation in a group. And even if I struggle to do that I feel unheard or unnoticeable.
I’m also very relatable to friend and guy thing. I can count in one hand how many guys I’ve ever spoken to. These 2 do not click to me.
I feel my social anxiety has worsened with confinement.
I am an ambivert and I have really bad social anxiety. I just don't tell more here but I wanna say that Holly's channel give me answers to my questions in my head . 9:43 same here holly sometimes I run away from the people group and cry in the washroom. I don't how to deal with it. This situation 10:39 you are talking about is 100percent similar holly. I always feel, right now too my friends don't like me 😞. I got some clues about my friends which means they are backstabbing me . I just feel terrible 🥺 I just want a sister like holly. Yeah I have a brother but our relationship is not good he is busy with his work and argues all the time with me. I would really happy if I got Emily and holly as my elder sisters (I am 16years) you both are so motivating, sweet and loving🥰.
just know that you will always find yourself loved and welcome in this community online 💚🙌🏻😌✨
i always thought i was the only one who thought like this but everything you said i feel exactly the same - thank you for sharing this it was so reassuring to know i'm not the only one who feels this way
I find that making friends in grad school is so so hard!! I had a hard time in undergrad but it’s even harder now :(
that's so true! especially in covid era 😅
Holly,just wanted to say you are totally the personality I want to be friends with..and I guess we are😉..Much love to you girl💜💜
I can see that holly is changing and growing...I love it..
😌😌😌💚🙌🏻
Wow it could so easily be me saying all this. Going "out of date" has been me for most of my friendships, I have no more than "facebook" friends.
Related immensely to this. Thank you for sharing. :)
It's so comfortable to hear you talk about your personal stuff🥳
it feels good to be real and brutally honest with you guys! 💚
HOLLY🐝 thanks for talking about it! We are all not alone with these thoughts💛
Many gave u advices related to this..but u knw what i can like totally relate to u 100%..those thoughts when u speak..and then u think abt those things what u have spoken..andh how people would take that ..uff that s a struggle
i feel the same way! thank you for putting these thoughts into words
Holly, thank you for this video
I relate to you wondering about whether people like you. I always think that people simply tolerate me but don't actually like me. A lot of people will not reach out to me if I don't reach out to them. I have always had a difficult time opening up to people and making friends. I thougt things were okay in my college class, but then I realized people had made all these group apps and were chatting and doing stuff together and I wasn't part of any of it. At this point I have just given up and accepted that I won't ever really have any friends. I guess I forced myself to put up walls so that it doesn't hurt anymore. Social anxiety is very hard.
I can so relate to this, although I did have best friends, but they aren't for life, but more for a long time.
Yellow looks good on you holly❤️
I really relate to this, Thank you so much for speaking openly about this, it will really help others too:)
Also, you are not alone Holly:)
I totally feel you! Couldnt agree more about feeling out of place and not feeling like most friendships are really genuine. Sometimes it does feel forced and just to be nice. I guess it has to do with our self image and insecurities. I relate with everything you said! You really spoke my mind. I also feel awkward talking to guys up until this day hahahaha so ur not alone gurl we forget that guys r also just human like us but we make them seem so scary and intimidating haha
Everyone is in a different situation and you are in the perfect position fit for yourself. Don't try and live life something you shouldn't. However, keep up the brilliant content and keep smiling.
I’d say I quite possibly have social anxiety and I also constantly doubt my friendships. I can’t ask my friends to go out because I don’t know if they ever want to go out with me. I don’t know how to get closer with people and I can’t take an action until I know for sure they want to get closer with me. So obviously I don’t have many friends…
I swear I love these kind of videos I FEEL LIKE HOLLY IS SPEAKING TO ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺and we are friends omg! Also holly omg please make that curly hair method video 😩😩😩
Oh I didn't know all these struggles are this common...I think I am the member of the same squad....cheers to that😅👍
I really appreciate how you shared your struggles out loud...as this can be really helpful to those who can't and encouraging to work on their issues...hope for more such videos in future😊🤘
Holly completely relatable.........
Thank you for this video ❤️
omg I feel the exact same way about my friendships, thank you for talking about this!
Love these earrings! Can deffo relate to the friendship situation
*Remember today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.*
*-Dale Carnegie*
And it worse than what imagined
You were very nice to the fly, that was refreshing to see because most people just try to kill it smh 💛💛💛💛
You should talk about boundaries in friendships. I find it difficult as i hate conflict, and I fear rejection.
💛💛 Loved this sit down, chatty video! I can relate to several points, especially social anxiety even with friends I've known for a while. I'm also an introvert and although I sometimes wish I had more friends and more social interactions, I do need my time alone to recharge!
Really loving these new type of videos
Hi Holly! I've been diagnosed with Asperger's as a young adult and I really relate with your experience (on this, and on many other levels, like relationship to food, depth of my interests/focusing abilities/work life, habits and routines, views on norms, relationship to clothes to name only a few). You might be interested in researching content related to ASD to find similar points of view on all those things, as well as tips and the like! (for example, on YT, Anja Melissa or Amythest Schaber) Thank you for your awesome content ☀️
PLEASE talk about your experience with your Ed and if it still affects you in any way now?
hi holly
i think its so important to have really true friends but i can totaly agree with what your saying about questioning how true the friendship is on the other persons part threw the whole pandenic ive learnt this one the hard way but i am lucky to say that i have my two best friends who i know have my back and truly are my friends cos they want to be x
w/ the pandemic, I many of us are questioning the whole friendship dynamics that we were kind of thought through pop culture and stuff (e.g. the one single bestfriend...that’s what we see on TV and films). It’s so powerful to get by well on your own and then fully enjoy those glimpses of ideal friendships comprised in moments we get to spend with people that we like. If we long for those moments rather than for the people, we all take such a huge burden off of our backs. Idk if it makes sense, hopefully to someone it does haha 🐝 🐝
ABSOLUTELY RELATABLE!, Holly
I completely get this video so much! This is super relatable to me. ❤️ I have a true best friend although I do have the thoughts of not being enough in friendships. So thank you for this video!
I totally understand you Holly. I'm very similar. Send kisses to Brazil 🤗
🐝💛 OMG I get what you mean so much! I feel the same sometimes. I have good friends but I sometimes question things. You and you sister do have an amazing connection 😊
I really appreciate videos like this as a fellow introvert 💖
I literally think about me not saying 'thank you ' to my lecturer at the end of the day , the whole dayyyyyyy......
I just can't -_-
I am really glad that I am not the only one with social anxiety, because most of the time it really feels like it. Isnt it the worst when you do speak up in a group and people around you look at each other like you just said the dumbest thing? I hate it so much! Awful. I like you Holly. 😌
With the time, your videos are becoming underrated but still I love your videos..💕💕
@Holly Gabrîelle Thanks for your reply dear..💕💕
Imposter syndrome carries over in friendships for me as well. I feel like I always have to be performing because if I’m quiet they won’t like me.
if we lived close by - I would be proud to have a friend like you!
Holly- I think you're a star! ⭐️
I'm glad that I clicked on this video because I ended up relating to SO much more of it than I expected. If you see this, could you make a video on how you shifted your mindset to being a graduate student/Cambridge student and how you set yourself up for success in this? I have always been a student and loved studying but I am going to start my graduate studies this Fall and have found a lot of inspiration and help in your productivity videos but am curious how you shifted mentally/socially into the student role more so.
Completely relate to all these feelings
I could listen to this for hours!
I can relate to all of you say soo much!!
Thank you :)
💛🐝
Girl, the same thing happens to me! Hahaha! I guess we just have to push ourselves (to make friends). My motto is "be the friend you want to have". Hope this helps! 🤣❣️
I really appreciate all your videos ,I would love to see u put out separate videos for food recipes becuz I absolutely want to get into a healthier diet and love ur vlogs a lot.Sending lots of love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Amazing video Holly!
I'm the opposite of you in the boy Friends part, I feel more confortable being with boys than girls.
Same! I feel incredibly awkward around other girls :')
i love it how we are all so different!
When i was in HS i had tons of fake friends, even after that, i still had "friends".. Once i got married and had my first son, i realized all the mistakes i have done on choosing friendships and feel alone at times because i dont have anyone to talk to besides my husband, and my mom 😐 hopefully this doesnt happen to anyone else
You know why I like your videos ? You are sooooo damn much like sooooooooo much like me ..I completely relate with you ..I m from India and I feel you're a western version of me ...love you alot ❤️
Loved this video! Bring back the cook eat and chat videos :))
for sure, for sure!!! 😉
Great video and good to hear that you can relate. I do lack confidence at times but have been working on being more confident. Love 🥰 the video and love 💕💕you.