I have long since stopped listening to people who say that my lifestyle is weird. In fact, I have found it for most people the word "weird" means ""You're not like me."
@@DearYoungerSelf111 Getting married later in life, for one. To this day I don't know what a lot of the things I did that were wrong because nobody could tell me. They just told me I didn't fit
Your videos resonate with me a lot. I'm in my 40s and as the time has gone on my life has become less conventional. It wasn't intentional and I have some grief about it, but I wasnt able to tolerate a lot of what regular people tolerate such as certain jobs and behaviours in relationships. People tolerate so much just to fit in.
INFJ - 36F. No partner, no kids, no home, no car, no TV but lots of friends/cousins, audiobooks, and 6 figures in investments; in 5 years, I will have enough to reduce work hours and do more travelling. Love my unconventional life!
I feel that like with autism. It may depend on how strong you are on the spectrum. I just read an article on the topic ten books presently banned in schools here in the United States. And then proceeded to find and buy all of them to add to my unconventional library. 😀😀😀😀
I have a very unique name, like to wear unique and memorable clothing, have niche hobbies and tastes and love every bit of it from this vantage point at 47. As a kid, definitely wanted to blend in, but clearly did not. It hurt a lot then, but yes, grew into my “weirdness” and actually love myself because of it! INFJ life!
YES. When I was younger it was more apparent to others, and I was often ostracized for it. Now I'm older (64) I just don't give a *uck, and other don't seem to care and accept me for who and what I am.
Wow, so much of this video resonates with me! No one understands why I do not want a house or car or other standard acquisitions. Luckily, I have been able to find positions abroad that provide free housing and my boyfriend lives in the U.S. so I am able to have an apartment (I pay part of the rent and utilities throughout the year) when I visit during summer and winter breaks. Having what I perceive as too many things mentally weighs me down and overwhelms me. Luckily, I am strangely unsentimental and have almost no need to hold on to objects as memories. Self development through reading and travel is the most important to me. And trying to help animals and nice people with fewer resources than me. Thank you for such an insightful video!
I'm a mature INFP (over 50) and this is spot on. I am very unconventional and always have been. In an introverted way when I was younger, as you have said. I could say a LOT about this topic another time. I just discovered your channel, I've subscribed!
Lovely insights Lauren...as always. I'm 62...now totally happy in my own skin having done the midlife crisis in my 50s. Painful but so worth it. Just finished a novel on the subject too which is so,close to my heart. Lovely to dip into your videos Lauren. 😊
As a 44 year old woman, this rings 100% true. Thank you for speaking truth to this. I’m sad to have missed this, but hopefully there will be a similar class offered soon!
Great topic! You described my life pretty well! I was a "blender" for most of my young life. I did live unconventionally in my late teens up until my late 30s when I met my ex husband. With him I lived a pretty "normal" life, other than the fact that he was much younger (17 years). Now, I'm divorced, no kids, and hoping one day to have at least a someone I can share life with, though not in the married or even live together way.
sigma-infj here, my life has been so strange and unconventional that most people don't believe me when i tell my story. nowadays I mostly blend in, pass through like a shadow, and I just do my thing. after 40 years i finally stopped trying to fit in or be accepted.
I dress slightly strange but not too much so - grey dockers with a black t-shirt, for example. Longer hair but not shoulder-length long. Yes - as I've gotten older I don't care so much what others think.
As an older (66) INFP guy who also identifies as bi+, finding this discussion is the universe smacking me upside the head with a 2 x 4. I would say that I've lived the "odd" lifestyle just like my orientation--from the neck up--for 50 years. Trying to move some of my weirdness into the world is a huge challenge. It's so much more comfortable inside my head! Hoping to get in on the class.
I'm 64 and have no tattoos, peircings or jewellery of any kind. I prefer plain. However I do love black nail polish. That's my only expressiveness. I never had a large circle of friends and still don't. I'm sure most would consider my lifestyle to be odd because i don't go out much and prefer books and movies. I have had long term relationships but now seperated for 6 years. I do miss having a lover. I'm not sure if i've had a mid life crisis or maybe for me that's still to come?
Back in the late 90s I went to several INFJ meetups. Many of them were into polyamory or S&M. The host were deeply woo woo folks who insisted that there was an energy vortex in their back yard. So, yeah, weird fits us perfectly.
Wow, this was so poignant for me exactly at this moment. I really needed someone to verbalize what I was going through. I hope to one day be able to help others as effectively as you are…🙏
A few years ago I took the personality test and got INFJ. I’ve recently tested a few times and keep getting ISFP. I feel like more of an INFJ but I don’t know anymore. All I know is that I was such a quiet kid, got bullied frequently even in college, have always been able to tell how others feel. I’m 36 now and I have very few friends, and I probably isolate too much. I’m not on the spectrum. I was tested last year. I have always felt different though.
I'm an INFJ and I have red hair. So I've always stood out. But I love my hair and would never dye it. No tattoos, ever. I'm happily married and he's my one and only, forever. He feels the same (INTJ). We do have 12 acres on which we grow our own food. We absolutely love it and worked very hard to get to where we are today.
I love your story. Glad you are happy and living an enjoyable life. I am iNFJ. I am in a transition. Worked for many years as a chemist. Took care of my elderly parents. They have passed away and now rethinking my life.
The fitting in. American culture has never been for me. Packed it up moved to Germany several years ago and finished my degree in music education over here. Living an isolated introverted area where people tend to keep more to themselves. It’s a better fit, even if you still feel a bit weird around some people. About three friends no problem with that. As my paternal grandmother used to say the older you get the less you care about what people think about you so who gives a sh** overtime I ended up adopting her motto
I’m kinda tired of people. I just know what they are gonna say, do, and what they are thinking. What their intentions are. I have adhd, anxiety and depression on top of being a rare infj has been a lot. I notice I can’t do motherhood or be a wife and I want to learn all day. I gotta get back on meds because i chose to be a wife and mom and take care of a house. However now I do feel guilty a lot for not wanting to be like everyone else I even want to be like slightly overweight because society tells me to be thin things like that. Whatever society tells me to do I now really don’t want to do it.
As an INFP, I have never wanted to stand out purely for the sake of standing out. I realize this may not be true of all INFPs. Living authentically - self-actualization has always been the ultimate goal.
@@Flx-zh8ze Exactly. If INFPS do stand out it is because we have stripped away the inessential; everything that we know is not authentically who we are. Our 'standing out' is a byproduct of embodying our inner truth.
INFJ. Don’t care for tattoos or piercings, they make you look average in my opinion - so many people have them these days. I prefer clear skin and simple and comfortable outfits, don’t want any attention at all. But when it comes to my unique ideas and perspectives, that’s what I want people to notice and appreciate. Rarely happens, but whatever, I feel content anyway 😊
A few years ago I took the personality test and got INFJ. I’ve recently tested a few times and keep getting ISFP. I feel like more of an INFJ but I don’t know anymore. All I know is that I was such a quiet kid, got bullied frequently even in college, have always been able to tell how others feel. I’m 36 now and I have very few friends, and I probably isolate too much. I’m not on the spectrum. I was tested last year. I have always felt different though.
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Short answer: Yes
Long answer: *YES*
I have long since stopped listening to people who say that my lifestyle is weird. In fact, I have found it for most people the word "weird" means ""You're not like me."
Hi Linda - if you are comfortable sharing - what parts of your life do people think us "weird"?
@@DearYoungerSelf111 Getting married later in life, for one. To this day I don't know what a lot of the things I did that were wrong because nobody could tell me. They just told me I didn't fit
Ha ! Old student, MA in Education, worked in 8 countries, gave up teaching to raise goats in North Africa. Life is interesting.
Your videos resonate with me a lot. I'm in my 40s and as the time has gone on my life has become less conventional. It wasn't intentional and I have some grief about it, but I wasnt able to tolerate a lot of what regular people tolerate such as certain jobs and behaviours in relationships. People tolerate so much just to fit in.
INFJ - 36F. No partner, no kids, no home, no car, no TV but lots of friends/cousins, audiobooks, and 6 figures in investments; in 5 years, I will have enough to reduce work hours and do more travelling. Love my unconventional life!
I reached age 35 and now this time is for me. Divorced, learned a lot. No apologies.
I feel that like with autism. It may depend on how strong you are on the spectrum. I just read an article on the topic ten books presently banned in schools here in the United States. And then proceeded to find and buy all of them to add to my unconventional library. 😀😀😀😀
I have a very unique name, like to wear unique and memorable clothing, have niche hobbies and tastes and love every bit of it from this vantage point at 47. As a kid, definitely wanted to blend in, but clearly did not. It hurt a lot then, but yes, grew into my “weirdness” and actually love myself because of it! INFJ life!
YES. When I was younger it was more apparent to others, and I was often ostracized for it. Now I'm older (64) I just don't give a *uck, and other don't seem to care and accept me for who and what I am.
Wow, so much of this video resonates with me! No one understands why I do not want a house or car or other standard acquisitions. Luckily, I have been able to find positions abroad that provide free housing and my boyfriend lives in the U.S. so I am able to have an apartment (I pay part of the rent and utilities throughout the year) when I visit during summer and winter breaks. Having what I perceive as too many things mentally weighs me down and overwhelms me. Luckily, I am strangely unsentimental and have almost no need to hold on to objects as memories. Self development through reading and travel is the most important to me. And trying to help animals and nice people with fewer resources than me. Thank you for such an insightful video!
I'm a mature INFP (over 50) and this is spot on. I am very unconventional and always have been. In an introverted way when I was younger, as you have said. I could say a LOT about this topic another time. I just discovered your channel, I've subscribed!
I'm an INFJ and have been seen as weird and odd my entire life lol.....but I'm also ASD so I've got a double whammy 😁
Hy Trina u are here😂
Infj Audhd here....
Hello Tribe! Infj ADHD here….
I think there’s a big overlap🙃
you’re not alone! INFJ AuDHD HSP tribe!
I work full time as a manager and i live in my 2004 Chevy Suburban. So cool. If you can manage it, I highly recommend it.
Lovely insights Lauren...as always. I'm 62...now totally happy in my own skin having done the midlife crisis in my 50s. Painful but so worth it. Just finished a novel on the subject too which is so,close to my heart. Lovely to dip into your videos Lauren. 😊
So true.. unorthodox, but makes sense to us
Process of enlightenment, awakening and further self-discovery.. insightful clip
As a 44 year old woman, this rings 100% true. Thank you for speaking truth to this.
I’m sad to have missed this, but hopefully there will be a similar class offered soon!
Great topic! You described my life pretty well! I was a "blender" for most of my young life. I did live unconventionally in my late teens up until my late 30s when I met my ex husband. With him I lived a pretty "normal" life, other than the fact that he was much younger (17 years). Now, I'm divorced, no kids, and hoping one day to have at least a someone I can share life with, though not in the married or even live together way.
sigma-infj here, my life has been so strange and unconventional that most people don't believe me when i tell my story. nowadays I mostly blend in, pass through like a shadow, and I just do my thing. after 40 years i finally stopped trying to fit in or be accepted.
I dress slightly strange but not too much so - grey dockers with a black t-shirt, for example. Longer hair but not shoulder-length long. Yes - as I've gotten older I don't care so much what others think.
As an older (66) INFP guy who also identifies as bi+, finding this discussion is the universe smacking me upside the head with a 2 x 4. I would say that I've lived the "odd" lifestyle just like my orientation--from the neck up--for 50 years. Trying to move some of my weirdness into the world is a huge challenge. It's so much more comfortable inside my head! Hoping to get in on the class.
I admire your dedication to sharing your knowledge about this topic.
I'm 64 and have no tattoos, peircings or jewellery of any kind. I prefer plain. However I do love black nail polish. That's my only expressiveness. I never had a large circle of friends and still don't. I'm sure most would consider my lifestyle to be odd because i don't go out much and prefer books and movies. I have had long term relationships but now seperated for 6 years. I do miss having a lover. I'm not sure if i've had a mid life crisis or maybe for me that's still to come?
Love your cobtent! Wondering if you could do a video on INFJ's and grief
Back in the late 90s I went to several INFJ meetups. Many of them were into polyamory or S&M. The host were deeply woo woo folks who insisted that there was an energy vortex in their back yard.
So, yeah, weird fits us perfectly.
Infj here this hit home
Perfecting timing for this class
I feel seen.
Wow, this was so poignant for me exactly at this moment. I really needed someone to verbalize what I was going through. I hope to one day be able to help others as effectively as you are…🙏
This is exciting, looking forward to moving on from people pleasing, getting clearer about what it is I want and like
haha I wonder if I will go mad for tattoos when I hit fifty.. only eleven years to go! 😘
Love this kind of content.
A few years ago I took the personality test and got INFJ. I’ve recently tested a few times and keep getting ISFP. I feel like more of an INFJ but I don’t know anymore. All I know is that I was such a quiet kid, got bullied frequently even in college, have always been able to tell how others feel. I’m 36 now and I have very few friends, and I probably isolate too much. I’m not on the spectrum. I was tested last year. I have always felt different though.
💯💯 yep ! I can testify
I'm an INFJ and I have red hair. So I've always stood out. But I love my hair and would never dye it. No tattoos, ever. I'm happily married and he's my one and only, forever. He feels the same (INTJ). We do have 12 acres on which we grow our own food. We absolutely love it and worked very hard to get to where we are today.
I love your story. Glad you are happy and living an enjoyable life. I am iNFJ. I am in a transition. Worked for many years as a chemist. Took care of my elderly parents. They have passed away and now rethinking my life.
I'm an INFJ with red hair and I'm Left handed. Always felt different from the crowd
The fitting in. American culture has never been for me. Packed it up moved to Germany several years ago and finished my degree in music education over here. Living an isolated introverted area where people tend to keep more to themselves. It’s a better fit, even if you still feel a bit weird around some people. About three friends no problem with that. As my paternal grandmother used to say the older you get the less you care about what people think about you so who gives a sh** overtime I ended up adopting her motto
Just missed it!!!! :(
I’m kinda tired of people. I just know what they are gonna say, do, and what they are thinking. What their intentions are. I have adhd, anxiety and depression on top of being a rare infj has been a lot. I notice I can’t do motherhood or be a wife and I want to learn all day. I gotta get back on meds because i chose to be a wife and mom and take care of a house. However now I do feel guilty a lot for not wanting to be like everyone else I even want to be like slightly overweight because society tells me to be thin things like that. Whatever society tells me to do I now really don’t want to do it.
We are aging & on top of it without the hrt treatment...as women.
The real name for polyamory is polylustery
Could this happen weather you want to or not?
True, but:
INFP's like to stand out
INFJ's prefer to blend in
As an INFP, I have never wanted to stand out purely for the sake of standing out. I realize this may not be true of all INFPs. Living authentically - self-actualization has always been the ultimate goal.
@@sharonfuszard8861 this. 100%.
We don’t prefer to stand out, we are willing to stand out in order to be true to who we are even if that means it makes us stand out
@@Flx-zh8ze Exactly. If INFPS do stand out it is because we have stripped away the inessential; everything that we know is not authentically who we are. Our 'standing out' is a byproduct of embodying our inner truth.
INFJ. Don’t care for tattoos or piercings, they make you look average in my opinion - so many people have them these days. I prefer clear skin and simple and comfortable outfits, don’t want any attention at all. But when it comes to my unique ideas and perspectives, that’s what I want people to notice and appreciate. Rarely happens, but whatever, I feel content anyway 😊
I will never get a tattoo. As if. My life is mine not a joiner. INF extreme. insert heart shaped image here
Polyamory what would make you say something like that?
I’m an INFP dating a poly INFJ man so there’s that.
A few years ago I took the personality test and got INFJ. I’ve recently tested a few times and keep getting ISFP. I feel like more of an INFJ but I don’t know anymore. All I know is that I was such a quiet kid, got bullied frequently even in college, have always been able to tell how others feel. I’m 36 now and I have very few friends, and I probably isolate too much. I’m not on the spectrum. I was tested last year. I have always felt different though.