Codependent? It's All in Your Mind!
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- Опубликовано: 29 мар 2024
- Codependency and trauma are not objective but subjective: states of mind, not states of affairs.
Codependency is a pattern of reactions to the presence of an abuse and the promise of abuse (comfort zone): intimate partner regulates emotions, moods, and mediates dialog among introjects.
Abuser and victim are each other’s instruments.
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I love you Sam you have opened my eyes- father- malignant narcissist- husband covert narcissist- 19 years with my father 17 years so far with my husband I am not I don’t exist I have no personality and don’t know if I am …
28:14 gives me goosebumps...
As a child I indeed physically used to punish myself as I was afraid my parent would do so otherwise. I remember indeed as a child that I was thinking.. No need to punish me, I already did so myself!
Holy crap. From years of being let down and constant disappointment from people, I have become very counter dependant.
And betrayal Definitely does that too
yip, spot on about codependents.. The narcissist will throw little tantrums and instead of the partner saying no, they will get on their knees to make it better for the narcissist while justifying this action as "ah ha, see he needs me, he is a fragile baby without my help"
True. That’s awful experience…
My narcissist prefers a wallet. As long as money is a residual benefit, the rest of the person doesn't matter.
Onether gem is this one.
You don’t have to be a codependent to depend on a narcissist, it’s enough to be an open and positive person! They are perfectly able to manipulate you in order to make you depend on them, mainly psychologically but also in any other way!
But would a well balanced person put up with the behaviour of a narcissist? 🤔
Thank you
Thank you so much for this! Please do more videos on how to get rid of codependency through practical steps, and deal with emotions in a non dysfunctional way. Also, how to distinguish healthy empathy from codependency, where does one ends and the other starts?
Is not always easy listening to these videos, but they are so helpful, and once we accept the reality as painful as it can be, it feels very liberating. Thank you so much for the work you do.
I wish I could have you as my psychologist, for sure I would be better. Thanks professor! Your chanel and your knowledge help to save lives.
Thank you! Good reminders but it's the hard truth we need to accept. "INSIGNIFICANT OTHER" perfect label
Wow. I’ve been listening to many many of your videos for weeks/months. This hits a home run and I feel like I finally know myself on a different level.
Regards . Mr. Professor, I'm halfway through your book "malignant self love narcissism revisited "it's so crisp and detailed. What I have observed these days books on narcissism or at least the couple of which I've read lack indepth insight and focuses on just quick fix solutions . If one needs to understand narcissism, your book is a literary gem.
Please post a review on the book's Amazon page.
@@nothingnessnonarcissism sure...🙏
I waited for this video on codependency from long time. Thank you professor Vaknin!
Thank you. Once again, you've honed your art of discernment even yet more sharply.
Sam I cannot thank you enough for shining a light into my mind. I have genuine hope that I can carefully steer my own craft out of this hopeless situation. At the very least letting go of self delusion will be a blessed relief.
Okay Professor I'm ready again to learn of these Badmind People . You are the Authority on these people. Respect 🦅 and Thanks
🦅🏆😎
Thsnk you Sam .
I have more true selfknowledge now than years of threrapy and studying psychology . Of course i want learn more but the pieces are starting to form a bigger picture . Sincere and big thanks to you Rocky Horror Vaknin 😊
@@misspeach3755 please Excuse the Butchering of the English..... language as also am dyslexic.. my comment may appear sarcastic 🤌🏽 to you.. it is Not , but for the fact that I had to learn of such Badmind People. Professor is well liked by me and I sincerely Specifically appreciated 😉 Overstands?
@@dextermorganbloodspattersp6382 misspeach was gaslighting you, she's a malignant narcissist.
Thank you infinitely, Professor Vaknin ❤
This is a phenomenal explanation! Thank you!
All relationships end.
Thanks again.
Thanks for this much needed video
There’s no
Love I just want the right to be alone
عظيم 👏
A (co)deprndent partner will give more of the 4 s'es. More attention etc. So a narcissist will for that reason choose her over another person. It seems simple, right?
What does it mean if you feel uncomfortable when someone takes care of you? 😐
Normal if it’s impinging on your autonomy
Very informative video, thank you Dr.
For the healing, can we use the methods you offered for borderline personality disorder?
Preferably not.
Could you explore what happen when 2 codependents are together in a relationship?
Is it a personality disorder if you don’t want to be in a relationship and want to be alone in an old age?
Is it possible, that, after losing a child, that one parent would become some form of codependent, and one parent would become covert narcissistic? That seems to have happened. We were both relatively normal, stable, accomplished people with a healthy marriage for 10 years until the trauma. Then literally everything fell apart, as you would expect. However, I have become extremely codependent and my husband has lost all empathy, and is displaying all signs of narcissism, when they just weren't there before. We both have trauma from our childhoods, which are now being triggered because of the trauma we suffered. But is this possible? Is it possible to have late onset codependency and late onset narcissism due to a trauma of having a child taken? We love each other deeply, but we have been abusing each other now for three years and we are at the breaking point.
Is there is a way for healing changing ?! Treatment …..
I thought "safety" was part of the "S's"
It is: sex, supply (sadistic and narcissistic), services, safety.
They say love lasts up to 2 years. Does that apply to codependents to ? Or do they always stay in love since the narcissists abuses them and they never get to feel safe and bored
Lust, not love, lasts 18-14 months. Love GROWS, not diminishes.
@@nothingnessnonarcissism do codependents stay longer than that in lust ?
Being PAthetic is PRetty Special
So refreshing, let's take accountability for our actions...Live Fae🧚♀️💞🫶⚜️