INFJ PERSONALITY TYPE -WHY GATEKEEPING IS KEEPING SO MANY OF US STUCK

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  • Опубликовано: 8 июн 2024
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    INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Join us today as we dive into the world of INFJ Gatekeeping. Discover how INFJs protect their insights, energy, and knowledge, often keeping them hidden from others. While gatekeeping initially seems like a defense mechanism, it can ultimately hinder our fulfillment. Let's explore how breaking down these barriers is essential for personal growth and acceptance.
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Комментарии • 73

  • @Wenzes
    @Wenzes  Месяц назад +13

    What are your thoughts on "gatekeeping" your truth?

    • @jeremiahfix5529
      @jeremiahfix5529 Месяц назад +7

      When one tells their mother that they are being henpecked because of a need to control and its ironic how their actions don't match what they expect, that kind of revelation can really make people mad, obviously, so I try to not tell people about themselves.

    • @leojanuszewski1019
      @leojanuszewski1019 Месяц назад

      There is only one truth: objective reality.

    • @jeremiahfix5529
      @jeremiahfix5529 Месяц назад

      @@leojanuszewski1019 , what is the origin of the universe?

    • @syedanargis616
      @syedanargis616 Месяц назад

      hey Wenzes,
      I do not know that you will see my message or not
      But I want to ask, as an INFJ, is becoming a diplomat a good idea?
      Currently I am a student of engineering.
      I feel that it is not suitable for me.
      so thinking of changing my career and wanting to pursue career in diplomacy.

    • @jeremiahfix5529
      @jeremiahfix5529 Месяц назад

      @@syedanargis616 , I wanted to be a social psychologist, maybe I will still do that some day, currently learning psychology, if you can use both the feeling and thinking aspects of yourself for a life long job.

  • @I-love-Nox
    @I-love-Nox Месяц назад +12

    This is a survival tactic. And honestly I don’t need anyone to know anything about me anymore. The less the better. I’m tired of people reacting off of who and attacking me with their insecurities. People dont deserve INFJs tbh

    • @queengfoods
      @queengfoods Месяц назад +1

      Thisssss. I feel seen, it always gets thrown in our face for sure. Even when they see we were right time and time again. We need to definitely keep to ourselves. And find a platform like she did to share with others who actually want our services, knowledge etc

  • @sagebay2803
    @sagebay2803 Месяц назад +31

    This video was so spot on. I am just DONE with giving. Maybe it's compassion burn out. IDK. I need to give to myself. No more. Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me? lol

    • @bsp5161
      @bsp5161 Месяц назад +5

      All the time, hon. I find myself drawn into situations…people who are depressed/suicidal, who need physical, tangible help. It’s too much and I’ve withdrawn from most, compassion burnout is a thing

    • @fa5102
      @fa5102 Месяц назад +6

      Me toooooooo!!!! I am DONE!!!! It’s time we give to ourselves like we do for others

    • @queengfoods
      @queengfoods Месяц назад +2

      We're here with you❤ feeling the same way. Hermit mode activated currently

    • @lightinthedark9201
      @lightinthedark9201 Месяц назад

      I understand you.But you know the more you give,the more you'll get in return,not by people but by the Lord of All the Worlds in the Hereafter if you sincerely do it for his sake.

  • @imdjc4
    @imdjc4 Месяц назад +52

    NEVER let them know how much you know. I prefer remaining alive with them thinking they know me, being misunderstood and remain at a shallow level rather than explaining and complaining myself into a corner where they can go in for the kill. As a child, I quickly learned you tell them the truth (and you think as an INFJ) you freak them out by just being with them. Besides, only one person needs to know all of me - my wife - and that's more than enough. And once again Wenzes, appreciate your videos and like-mindedness by putting it into words. Keep up the great work!

    • @DonTrump-sv1si
      @DonTrump-sv1si Месяц назад +10

      That sounds pretty right on

    • @muma6559
      @muma6559 Месяц назад +3

      yep, sounds about right. You can't give, you shouldn't give to people who can't take it for whatever reason, we learn that very early on. As you say, no need to back ourselves into a corner, nope. People freak out. And we don't have time to teach everyone, nor do they want or believe in anything better. Pick and choose wisely, you bet !

  • @corporaterobotslave400
    @corporaterobotslave400 Месяц назад +16

    I don't have any ppl around me that are able to accept what I keep behind my gate. I have to share all that thru my entertainment media. And that stuff takes forever to get done. I just have to keep everything bottled up until it's in a song or on screen. I think that without any other outlet that this helps me focus on my long term goals, instead of bouncing ideas off ppl who don't appreciate my ideas.

  • @susangarrard2753
    @susangarrard2753 Месяц назад +17

    I only give if I want to and if the person appreciates it.

  • @VictorTAnderson
    @VictorTAnderson Месяц назад +8

    The INFJ population needs to hear this (myself included)

  • @MrGadfly772
    @MrGadfly772 Месяц назад +17

    My gatekeeping instincts are what has led me to draw so many narcissists into my life.

  • @SD-rm5ty
    @SD-rm5ty Месяц назад +18

    I think a career in counseling or therapy would be great but I know from past experiences no one takes my advice and I don't want to add to trauma I've already experienced in my life. I'm sticking to something creative instead.

    • @corporaterobotslave400
      @corporaterobotslave400 Месяц назад +11

      Good decision. I was a counselor. Quit because only about 1% actually took my advice and applied it. Creativity for the win!

    • @FirehorseG
      @FirehorseG Месяц назад +9

      ​@@corporaterobotslave400I was told by my therapists that they're not there to give advice. They're there to guide you to self awareness of why you do what you do, and to change this.

    • @SD-rm5ty
      @SD-rm5ty Месяц назад +2

      @@FirehorseG I'm now aware of this but when it's done with criticism that's where I draw the line and tune out. 😂

    • @bsp5161
      @bsp5161 Месяц назад

      That sounds wise. I went to school for social work and dropped out, went back to my truest self in writing because reality is, change is hard and many people truly aren’t ready for lasting changes. It’s frustrating

  • @DanaAdams-bc5ug
    @DanaAdams-bc5ug Месяц назад +12

    Having to keep a secret that would benefit mankind

    • @goontubeassos7076
      @goontubeassos7076 Месяц назад

      Ya, because it will get you killed and used for a small amount of people who call themselves “Elites”
      Or turned into a weapon.
      Either way, gets you killed.

  • @lindateuling7862
    @lindateuling7862 Месяц назад +8

    The most helpful thing I got from this, was when you mentioned that the most effective thing we can do is to use what's best for us. I saw this as showing our effectiveness rather than just talking about it. In other words, actually doing what we most believe in. I think that when this gets done, it will be more believable.
    I wondered how much "gatekeeping" I've done - probably more than I realized - there's a limit to how much I'm comfortable telling ahead of time. But living and most importantly doing what is best for us, IMO, speaks louder than what we say.

  • @PenelopePitstop0078
    @PenelopePitstop0078 Месяц назад +8

    Oooh, the synchronicity of this insight into self today, for me, is spooky good. 😳

    • @Rachel_M_
      @Rachel_M_ Месяц назад +3

      Maybe it's not synchronicity?
      We're INFJ and just "know" these things 😉

  • @matiasschmied1156
    @matiasschmied1156 Месяц назад +14

    So greatful for having found your channel. God bless you Wenzes.

  • @bumblebee_ms
    @bumblebee_ms Месяц назад +6

    Wenzes, when I read the title I thought you were going to say others gatekeep us, to stop US from succeeding.
    This is what I'm going thru, I have people everywhere stopping me from succeeding. Nay sayers.

    • @bumblebee_ms
      @bumblebee_ms Месяц назад +2

      Just to add, I really like your concept of stopping the self-sabotage.

    • @selfmademillian4093
      @selfmademillian4093 Месяц назад +1

      This is very much apart of the infj experience. People will get triggered and try to stop you. If may not even be people. Random things may start to go wrong that have nothing to do with people. But push through.

    • @bumblebee_ms
      @bumblebee_ms Месяц назад

      @@selfmademillian4093 You are so right, it feels like even the Universe is against me at times, or is it another lesson?

  • @nathanreedy4380
    @nathanreedy4380 Месяц назад +4

    Whoa! This is a great video on this topic. This being said, not only am I guilty of gatekeeping myself to others, but I feel like others gatekeep me. Because I have other people say to me & think & act like that just because they've been through a certain situation that they think is similar to something I am dealing with that whatever they did or used to work through it will automatically work for me. And this isn't always the case & I wind up feeling misunderstood & as though people are trying to control me & so therefore I can also see how others feel like I am trying to control them when I gatekeep them. 😬😬😬 Thank you so much for this video!

  • @realizationstation2173
    @realizationstation2173 Месяц назад +6

    I have come to see that the fuller my cup is, the more approachable I am to those who truly want to expand! :)

    • @elliottsmith7530
      @elliottsmith7530 Месяц назад +1

      facts! loving yourself first is the initial, most important step. in theory you receive the energy you exert. if other person doesnt reciprocate, then that say more about them than you🙏🏽

    • @realizationstation2173
      @realizationstation2173 Месяц назад +1

      @@elliottsmith7530 Absolutely ... the line for those who want change is far longer than the line of those that what TO change ;)

    • @elliottsmith7530
      @elliottsmith7530 Месяц назад +1

      @@realizationstation2173 oooh i like that

  • @dawnmurphy1169
    @dawnmurphy1169 Месяц назад +3

    Wow! I need to tend to my own backyard first and foremost!

  • @fredcraven1699
    @fredcraven1699 Месяц назад +4

    Policy of Truth Depeche Mode

  • @daily977
    @daily977 Месяц назад +8

    Appreciate = Respect

  • @jerome6572
    @jerome6572 Месяц назад +3

    Wenze's very informative indeed Wenze's I thank you for you and your guidance.Jerome❤❤❤

  • @java385
    @java385 Месяц назад +6

    Always great to hear you.

  • @ruthhenderson9205
    @ruthhenderson9205 Месяц назад +2

    Thank you Wenzes. Another incredibly helpful talk. The way you deliver your videos is becoming more and more vibrant and powerful. I am really grateful for you! ❤

  • @daily977
    @daily977 Месяц назад +3

    I’m about to blow the gate open!!

  • @Mcky-lw1zb
    @Mcky-lw1zb 3 дня назад

    Life is all about decisions, and each decision and action or non-action you take/don't take, affect it. Some a lot more than others. Better find out which ones are a lot more than others for yourself.

  • @estebannestares2745
    @estebannestares2745 Месяц назад +4

    Meaningful and valuable post. Thanks Wenzes.
    💙👐🏻

  • @z32luvr
    @z32luvr Месяц назад

    Great advice!

  • @daily977
    @daily977 Месяц назад +1

    love your videos ❤

  • @this-abledtheextravertedhe5299
    @this-abledtheextravertedhe5299 Месяц назад

    Thanks ❤
    I really needed this reminder.

  • @nykki21
    @nykki21 Месяц назад +1

    Received right on time. Thank you

  • @Jasonwritescode
    @Jasonwritescode Месяц назад

    Wonderfully said.

  • @juliusmuhumuza3018
    @juliusmuhumuza3018 Месяц назад +4

    People pleasing

  • @Userm2155
    @Userm2155 15 дней назад

    I don’t want to control anyone. It’s frustrating when people don’t recognize our good intentions especially when it doesn’t impact us at all so what would we actually have to gain and is only focused on them? I offer constructive feedback or advice if it’s appropriate and something that I would appreciate. I expect that they would evaluate it objectively, apply if appropriate otherwise ignore. If I notice anyone is a bit short sighted and who doesn’t recognize that I’m giving my time and energy to them or thinks that I’m working against them or takes it so personally that it affects them, then I won’t offer anything or insight. Instead, I’ll just take a step back and let them do whatever they feel.

  • @Jaynycreates
    @Jaynycreates Месяц назад +1

    its so difficult!

  • @nourfattouh6547
    @nourfattouh6547 Месяц назад +1

    💙

  • @leojanuszewski1019
    @leojanuszewski1019 Месяц назад +2

    Do INFJs tend to suffer from low self-esteem?---I ask because it seems that you spend a good amount of time in your videos assuring people how knowledgeable, formidable, insightful, etc. INFJs are.

  • @margaritarota4577
    @margaritarota4577 Месяц назад

    You are so correct 💯

  • @miloszgondek
    @miloszgondek 20 дней назад

    Any infj in Portugal?😊

  • @queengfoods
    @queengfoods Месяц назад

    Available for texting for anyone who needs to talk to someone who can actually relate❤

  • @briankostich6274
    @briankostich6274 Месяц назад +1

    Is gatekeeping a term for lone wolf? Doing that personally. Had to let go of a toxic relationship and people around me notice a different me. What they see is me.

  • @royal_lotus8834
    @royal_lotus8834 Месяц назад

    Thanks to your video's and insight. I'm learning to focus on me and notice that the rest of the things are falling in place. Gatekeeping is something I'm still working on. I like to be there for people but not at the cost of myself.
    But if i really want to help people. I will start a business around it. Because then I know that people will be open for my help!
    but for now focusing on my infj epic life