One huge thing you should not forget: Allow yourself to fail! I know this sounds weird, but you're going to fail eventually. You will have a day that you can't get out of bed, you will have a day that just isn't meant to be. Allow yourself to fail, but be sure to stand up after it. Failing is not the end, it's just a way to learn how not to do what just happened. Allow yourself some time to recuperate after something intense. Telling yourself you're going to do something productive every day is good, but remember that doing nothing every once in a while is really really necessary and even productive! Take mental breaks! You can't 'work' every day, you can live every day to its fullest though! That means having breaks, that means failing at something and not letting that get to you, making you stronger :) Hope you don't set your goals too far ahead, make them achievable, so you actually accomplish what you want! Failing doesn't make you a failure, failing is part of the learning process :)
The point is that when people set many goals like this, there will come a day when they fail at something. It's just realistic. So he was just saying that you have to become accustomed to the fact that failure will come at some point and that's okay. It's practically impossible to set this many goals and nail all of them for 365 days in a row. It's actually a relief to realize this because it takes off a lot of pressure on your future self.
I know you've got to try your best first to find your limits, but I hope you don't let yourself fall into perfectionism and unreasonable expectations of what you can do. Trying is good, but I hope you keep a support network around you to check when you're doing too much.
Peter Eames Actually, it can take a lot to pull yourself up to make a decision and these declarations. So, in reality, she has done something. She's taken the first step.
I’m feeling emotional because I empathize with her...it’s hard to decide to get out of depression and it’s going to get harder when the bad days come back, you might feel numb again and go through the motions, but keep pushing through the new plan, Dottie, no matter how much the darkness wants you back. It can’t have you.
Came her after your ADHD video and girl ;-; I see so much pressure on yourself in this video. I'm so happy that you found a 'final chapter', and I really hope you feel better and more free!!
She makes a return and it speaks directly to me almost. I've been feeling dissatisfied with the way I lead my life and I am so happy to see this video and what else will come from it! It's super motivational. Good luck with it!
This was so beautiful! The struggle to ignore your self doubt and push on with creative pursuits and the real things that make you happy is a constant struggle. I've found that self forgiveness is a crucial part of moving forward as well though. So don't beat yourself up if one moment doesn't go well. The ability to fail and move on faster is definitely a skill that I'm always working on.
Loved this! You are so creative. Just a little tip. Whenever you are doing something, tell yourself you are doing it because you love yourself. Tidy up because you love yourself, make the bed every morning because you love yourself, speak your mind because you love yourself, try your best because you love yourself, don't be hard on yourself because you love yourself. Every time you want to do something but feel empty or even lazy tell yourself that you are doing it because you love yourself and you want to make choices that make you happy. Make the reason you do stuff because you love yourself. A lack of self love is seen in every depression. Just come out of it myself. Also gratitude and forgiveness really help. Every morning I wipe the slate clean by forgiving myself for 3 things that I wasn't pleased with and then 3 things that I am grateful for. Love you
I am in a pretty similar situation right now and have been for the past two years. Thank you so much for this series! I just started it, but already I am so much more motivated than I was by all these other motivational speakers and stuff. It is so good to see not only that one isn't alone with their problems, but that there CAN be a solution in finding resolution and strength in one's self
Fail more. Fail more beautifully. Fail totally. Fall. Get messy. Try. Learn to program. When I was younger I was somewhere close to where you are. It was easy to do safe things that others praise you for. It is not challenging and there is no risk. One of the most rewarding and creative things I have done is programming. It is like many creative pursuits, but there is an interesting difference. When you are programming you have to fail. Over and over and over. Working out bugs, knowing what you want to happen and then finding ways to make it happen. It is messy and hard and mystical (others will not praise you for it because to them the result is simple, but the journey was hard). Beware the trap of telling others all of the things you would like to do. They will again praise you and you will be less motivated because you are already gaining the gratification. Instead, do things... quietly. Fail at things, then when you have failed and tried and failed some more share the ways you have failed and tried. These are the stories others will want to hear. We learn from failures. Humans learn from failures. Both our own and others. My resolution for 2017 was to walk new paths and be the brightest light I could be. It was not a goal for just that year, rather for my life. When I find myself in my routine I recognize that and go do something else. I also started taking really good care of myself. Writing, exercising (finding something physical I loved doing. For me it was swimming), spending time outside at parks reading, writing, and hanging in a hammock watching nature. Being more in tune with my needs. Be kind to yourself. This video suggests you will be taking on a lot. Recognize your needs along the way. Surround yourself with people that let you shine. Or that inspire you to shine. Thank you for sharing... your mind, voice, words. May your life be bright.
This has resonated with me so deeply. Lately I’ve felt so compelled to take control over my life, to reframe my way of thinking and set intentions and journey down an entirely new path-and yet I haven’t been able to pluck up enough courage to actually bring those wishes to fruition. Watching this video might've just given me the push I needed. Good luck to you in this endeavor and thank you for creating such a lovely & thoughtful video!
Oh my god. She does! But I find her like Owen Wilson as well. Her jaw and the way she has her lips with the serious kind of focused eyes is exactly like Owen.
i’ve felt and dealt with such “stuck” feeling for the longest now(it’s maddening) and i couldn’t have come across your vid and felt less alone and inspired in some way to make change for myself. you beautiful human, thank you 💙
good luck babe. for a good 8 years of my life I have been going to bed saying to myself Tomorrow will be the day Tomorrow you'll be the best you The you you wanna be; been taking birthdays and new years and stupid things like an extra shiny new moon as A Sign that yes NOW is your time, this is the turning point, where one chapter ends and a new one begins, and oo it ties together nicely, I can apply meaning to this, i'm happy with the shit days if it's framed by and ends in this. I've written lists and lists and to do lists and to do to do todo lists and moved items from today to tomorrow today to tomorrow today to tomorroW - i've done it today! even - MY POINT IS. personally, anyway. change is slow. how many times i've tried to change too much at once. discipline and trying your best and breaking your time down into What will I do this hour? What will I do these 10 minutes? is sooo important. it's how you achieve shit without a mad random energy burst. i've been too ambitious, and inevitably disappointed and frustrated by myself, AGAIN, this year. I sectioned up my goals the same as you into the everyday the sparetime the sundays, mornings and evenings, and at the time i thought i'd planned a great timetable. but in the end, i'm not ready for it, so eveything has been shrunk to one, two, main goals, the ones that are the priority for me, now, in my last year of uni, and that is my creative work, and my sleep. your plan sounds marvelous, but do be kind to yourself? don't do what i do and spend more time writing the lists than ticking items off them. just keep moving bit by bit, life is bloody long, you dont have to be ACHIEVING something every minute, enjoy your days with whatever makes you happy. i'll try and be motivated along with you
I cried while watching this. And I have decided to join you in changing my life. I have been working on it since January but I'm going to document it and share it weekly. You've inspired me. Thank you, I can't wait to start this and watch your next 365 days of trying unfold.
This is how I've been feeling lately. My gym shoes sit unused, my journals sit unwritten in, and my problems sit undealt with. And I'm tired of it. In this together.
This video really resonated with me. My life is in a pretty bad state but I started working on it. Your line "havent tried trying" hit home. I was/am depressed and massively socially anxious and I was just letting it destroy me. I just moped around expecting something to magically to come around and fix it. A few weeks ago I told myself to stop being ridiculous and I was going to actually try to be happy. I'm not fixed, I still have a ton to work on, but that minor shift to my perspective has yielded a few genuinely good days... which have been a rare occurrence to say the least. Thanks for this video, the exact thing I needed to strengthen my resolve in attempting to do something similar.
It is so soothing to know that you are not the only one that fills like this thank you. You inspired me to make a change in my life ( actually many changes ).
You’re speaking to my soul, and for a long time that part of me has been deafened. Thank you for giving me something to listen to, with full attention - I’ve been struggling with the same kind of numbness for a while. You’ve inspired me, personally, so thank you. And best of luck, Miss Dottie, you deserve success. 💛
This is a pretty long list, especially for someone who is suffering from depression! Good luck and lots of energy for the upcoming 365 days. I'll keep watching. :-)
This year has been my effort at 'trying' as well. I'm subscribing because it's nice to have a sense of community when changing. Sometimes I feel alone but it's encouraging knowing that there's people everywhere doing the same
i’ve realized recently not only how sad i’ve been for long but also how content i was with staying that way. i got so caught up in my web of depression i thought it was who i am but it’s not. you’ve really inspired me to try and take over my own life and try MORE. thank you so much for this video and this ideology and i really hope this helps you and i hope it helps me too. here’s to feeling better.
there's is no way this video wasn't here 😭 i was coming to your channel every time hopping you will get it back iam downloading this thing right now ♥️ keep going 👸 i wish you post more content
this project is my favorite thing right now and what you're doing is so inspiring and brave. change is HARD! this video actually pushed me to make my first youtube video and start my own 365 days of change and i want to thank you endlessly for that. here's to an exciting and strange year to come.
The amount that I relate to this is unreal. The fact that you’re doing this makes me feel like perhaps I can, I really hope you upload the updates to inspire me even more and make me feel less alone!
creating something creative every day is a huge task. I'm an engineer and not really a creative person like you, but setting pressure on creativity often has negative efficinency consequences. Nonetheless, big good luck to you Dottie!
I honestly needed this video. I want to change my life to be the best version of myself. I want to start on my birthday on Sunday. Most of the things you put on your to do list I want or need to do, like keeping in touch with my family, reading, and being nice to everyone.
Please dont give up therapy! Having big energy spikes and high hopes can be a trippy mental space. Please keep small goals and dont try all this alone! Youre a strong person, take care 🌟
I really love your honesty and know exactly how it feels to feel depressed with no where to go but your bed. I also made that decision to change my life though and took a similar path / steps that you mention in your first 3 chapters. Things did change for me and they definitely will for you too. For me it all started with my mind and then went from there :) I think it's incredible that you are sharing your journey, I really look forward to your weekly updates xx
I usually never comment on videos but this spoke to me on so many levels. I’m also a girl in uni but based in NYC. While I don’t post on the Tube I started making daily’s vids from my phone to keep myself accountable on positive change and growth and can totally relate to your ‘better habits.’ Best of luck on your journey, I look forward to your future videos!
I have gone through the exact same thing for years now. I let myself fail my classes in the process, and allowed relationships to dissipate. i wanted my life to stand still unchanging and to bury myself in numbness. Like you i recently mustered up the will power to get my life going in a productive positive direction. a new motto I've adopted is refusing to use the words "if" and "try", I instead use the words "when" and "will." This has helped me realize that I am in control of the things I want to accomplish in life, that I CAN accomplish whatever I put my mind to. Its inspiring to see someone dealing with something similar taking the steps to change for the better.
I love this so much!! I’ve learned that intention is everything. If I’m doing something, it has a distinct purpose. Even if I’m praying or reading for leisure or watching RUclips lol. Scheduling how I’m going to spend my time has been the most beneficial thing to me. If you haven’t heard of Passion Planners, that’s helped me a lot! I’m so excited for you and I hope you change your life in the best way possible :)
It's a great idea to have a lot of people as supporters and witnesses of your process of changing and getting better... You are brave and you're going to make it 💕
This is my 1st video I’ve watched of yours & I am so here for your transformation!! @ almost 40 many things you mentioned that you’ve done have been my experience over the last 3 years. You have inspired me to create a similar journey. THANK YOU... many blessings and success on this next productive chapter of your evolution 😊
First- DOTTIE you are so inspiring and I’m going to try some of these things with you for moral support. Good luck Dottie James. I love your idea of trying.
I made the exact same pledge to myself this year, I started school after being homeschooled my whole life (and despite having crippling social anxiety), I'm doing yoga everyday, eating healthy, waking up early (and actually getting out of bed), limiting my use of the internet, doing something creative everyday, showing the people around me how much they mean to me and just looking after myself. I can't wait to see your journey, we're all here every step of the way you lovely human, and remember, it's ok to fail as long as you learn something from it, try your best but don't put too much pressure on yourself, you've got this.
I related so much to the aspect of achieving some good things but not actually putting full effort into anything, and I think this video and your determination to make changes has inspired me to try to do similar. I'm in my third year of university, doing my last and biggest project yet and setting myself up for a future career and I really need to start putting my all into it instead of thinking "what HAS to be done" and doing just that minimal guideline. Thank you for this video, and the refreshing look on life
Ok, you need to watch + buy Brendon Burchard's courses, they're life changing. He had an offer going on and I was blessed to have used it as I wouldn't have invested the full money as a uni student otherwise. Since implementing like 5% of his advice I've won 3 competitions tech + sustainability + healthcare related, all 1st places and in one of them there were around 650 entries and around 120 judges and I won £1000, was personally coached for an afternoon by an ex-director at HP who sold his business for $1billion with 3 other partners. Like I said 5%. GOOD LUCK! I'm super excited for you
You have mirrored my feelings exactly. I will be following your journey and supporting you every step of the way while I work on bettering my own life as well. I've never seen your channel before, but I couldn't have seen this video at a better time. This will be a turning point for the both of us. Heaven help us, but here's looking forward to the rest of this year.
I really understand how you feel about the “trying” aspect of this video as someone who also ~not necessarily does not try~ but finds it hard to measure whether I have truly tried my best i can relate therefore your concept of having achievable goals to measure against it is something that I also want to adopt and replicate (hopefully this comment makes sense 😊)
On a less self absorbed level I also want to say you can absolutely do this. I see a resolve in you that means sure, you'll miss things and slip up and fall off schedule once in a while. These goals might change slightly. Some may become less important - but that's all part of change. You've hit "go", and that's awesome. I'm so proud and happy for you, really I am.
this is great. I can relate. It sounds stupid and a cliche but, for me, giving myself some love and acceptance for everything that has happened and all that I am, is what gets me out of my head. I can be pretty impulsive, obsessive, and stay in my head all day, but sitting with it all, being with it all, is one of the best ways to heal. Let what is in out. Im stoked for you Dottie James.
It will be hard at first But the longer you stick with it, the easier you will find it to be I hope you stick with it, even when you don't want to You will be so happy if you do Good luck Dottie!
Exactly. I used to live this way, and caused me to go from depression to extreme depression and anxiety. It annoys me when people do this. If you don't look at your issues. You Avoid them for years, until you become servere to extreme anxiety and depression. I wish her well that it will work. But if your manic low you won't be able to function.
I tell you one thing... I'm not gonna sit back and just watch you change your life. I'm gonna change mine right along with you! I honesty just finished writing out a monthly list of things I'm interested in and want to learn more of in 2018. I then opened up RUclips and here you are. Let's do this! ❤️
Dottie, You're a dying god. This is the end. Your past is there in the corner. Sweep it away. Rebirth is today. The future is now. And it's yours. XO Good luck!
listening to you speak is insane because i literally picture myself in the words you say. it's hard to escape that constant desire to numb things, in fact I guess that's what i'm doing right now by watching your video. i hope that one day i'll stop feeling like this
I was in the exact same spot as u a yr and a half ago, and i took the exact same steps as u. I find that the small changes really do make a difference, often times i felt like i just got caught up in the fact that im not improving enough and whats the point anyway then. But when i found comfort in the fact that progress takes time, and success takes failure, thats when i improved. I made to-do lists that included "get out of bed" "brush ur teeth" because u know when ur seriously depressed those things are somehow so hard to do. And as pathetic as it sounds, i rewarded myself when i completed those simple tasks, because to a healthy person these are mundane, but to me, it meant getting myself back. It was important that I kept myself in a positive cycle, if i finished 90% of my goals in the day EVEN JUST 10%, I wouldnt allow myself to think about the stuff i didnt finish because that would take me to a negative cycle. "I didnt even finish my notes, im stupid anyway, whats the point of bothering to study then" (this mindset caused me to fail 2 courses). At least it is better than nothing, and that means I am improving. This is already a big step, and I am without any doubt that you will get better. Thank you for sharing this, its going to help me and countless others (and urself ofc). Best of luck!
This is way too much resolutions and goals. Change is slow. You should do it step by step, and stay realistic, otherwise you will fall deeper in depression for not accomplishing those goals.
A bit before last year ended I also made small resolutions, including getting up in the morning, and structured my to-do list in a similar way: weekly/daily/right now the very second I think of it. I'm excited to see your transformation over the year! You have my support :)
I'm coming with you on this live changing journey because I'm also at stage where I want a complete change. I got a depression about a little more than a year ago but only recognized at the beginning of this year how bad my mental state is. But I truly want to be over with that.. So change has to come :)
this is me. literally every few days. and im still the same, havent changed a bit.. :D i think you could do it though. you seem pretty into it. But please take care of yourself and dont be stressed and if you are stressed you have to give yourself a break otherwise you will get a burnout! :)
This complete life change is so brave of you.. and I never realised why I spent these countless hours of videos and blogs on the internet. I knew it was to distract myself from life but never to numb everything I was feeling. And to be honest I have never done anything with all my heart, attention and passion, never 100%... So I am with you. Wanting to do better, try harder and try new things that actually involve effort.
This won't work. You have given yourself too many tasks. You are putting yourself under too much pressure. You're changing too many habits. You are giving yourself too much to do. You're changing your lifestyle too drastically. Even the most stable and proactive person can't start to change all of this suddenly, at once. The idea that this is even possible is damaging in itself, especially to young people watching this and believing that it's an appropriate goal to decide to change so much of your lifestyle and daily life over a year. A year isn't long, either. You may think it is, but it really isn't. You're setting yourself up to fail, and when you fail you'll damage yourself. Anyone watching this might try to do the same and they will fail. This sudden drastic choice and all these changes is overreaching and ultimately won't work because as a habitual creature it takes much longer to override your lifestyle habits, and changing so many at once is too much. You should really think about picking one to change over a few months, then changing another on top of that, then changing another thing. Not all at once.
I don't believe I've ever felt more encouraged. If I fail then I fail at that thing, be it waking up early or uploading a video, but that doesn't mean I stop trying to do it the next day, or week or month. I'm excited and I understand your standpoint but you seem to think I expected 100% success, I just want to try living for once.
I completely understand where you're coming from, and I applaud you for setting yourself these goals. I'm happy that you are excited to make these changes and I hope that your aspirations and goals during this year come to fruition. Many times in my life have I done what you have stated in this video and set about changing multiple facets of my daily life, as well as trying to ultimately change the grander and more abstract things in my life such as my overarching perspectives, my general goals and so on. I have set about on these sudden changes to everything multiple times and in one day decided to meditate every day, be vegan, wake up early, study harder every day, see friends more and so on. I made calendars to live my life by, made lists to keep me on track, made excel tables and filled in my daily activities green when completed. And every time I would make all these changes and vow that this was the new me - in a few months it would all come crashing down. It would start with one thing slipping and then like a house of cards all the structure and changes I put in place would fall. And going from a life of complete structure and health and change to square one again did me no favours. I would slowly work my way back up and then in many months make all the changes again in one swoop. Then the cycle of crashing cards and crashing lifestyle would occur again. And I tried to keep true to it all and be fine just trying to change but trying wasn't enough, because ultimately i could only focus on the failure. What really helped me to change was to implement small changes incredibly slowly. I wouldn't even write down the change or tell anyone so that there wasn't that pressure. I would just decide to wake up before 9am every day. And after a few months that turned into for the firs time in my life since school waking up at 7:30am every day. It took months, but that change stuck. Then I gave myself another task a few months later and kept to that, and then after many months another task. I have slowly changed my life one small task at a time and provided my life with a stable foundation of slowly set concrete changes. Not a quickly assembled house of many many cards. I'm happy that you want to make these changes, but from my personal experience, I have said almost verbatim what you said in this video, and it was always a case of 5 steps forwards and 100 back. From my experience, I really would suggest to take one slow step forward at a time. You won't risk your mental health as much as trying to change everything at once. We are creatures of habit and habits take a while to change. Sometimes people can barely change just one thing in their life. So try. Of course, try. Just be reasonable, and be kind to yourself by taking this process very slowly and very steadily. Your method of changing everything at once I have done multiple times. It was like getting a helicopter ride to the top of a mountain and then being flown back to the start a few months later. My method now was done by slowly walking up that mountain one step at a time, and now I'm here for good. I hope my advice helps. I applaud you for what you're trying to do, but I'd be reticent to ever advise this method to reach better lifestyle and mental health x
GunsOnBungees Some people find it actually harder to do things one at a time. I know that it makes sense and is good advice for most, but personally, I myself am an all or nothing person. I mean how could I choose which to do first when all of them are so important to me? If I did only one, I would feel as if I were neglecting the others and therefore neglecting myself. I would feel as if I was merely "settling" for less than I felt that I wanted to be in that moment. It would not be good enough and it would lead me to feel incapable of greater change (for if I can't do it now, how can I expect myself to be able to do it later? and if I can do it later then why not now?) It would merely feed my inner insecurity and cause me to lose faith in the whole thing thus guaranteeing my imminent failure. If I want to do something and actually succeed at it then I have to put my full self into it from the start. If I mess up it's okay and i can recover because I know I'm actually trying. The failure to try it right now, is the failure to try it ever. For me at least. It is probably different for you and it might be different for her too, but that has been my experience as messed up as it may seem.
mann i was reading your comment and trust me i can relate to everything that you said somehow you have also made me realize that doing a thing on one time bringing a change slowly is much more effective...i have been failing trying to do things all at once.. even tho i manage to do for couple of days if one thing doesnt work somehow all other things loose their importance one by one....i have realized that if you do one thing or bring one good change to your life you really focus on it and it is done better instead of trying to do all things at one time. i would like to really thank you for telling your experience and making me assure of how to actually pull of things with love and effectiveness
PERRIE HADDAD - your English was great! And I'm so glad you connected with my experience. I hope the slow journey to being better and healthier is going well, or at least is very slowly continuing. And if it doesn't seem to be progressing then I'm sure it will at some point :) I was ill this past week and so had to stop doing yoga every day and haven't been eating well. But luckily all the other things I've slowly added to my life over the past five years have still been there. Falling ill is a good example of when something can happen (which is completely out of your control) and will make all changes stop if you've taken on many changes at once (like I used to and like Dottie has). The great thing about slowly changing one thing at a time, is that it takes the pressure off. When I changed things all at once I would wake up and worry every day about completing my 'getting better tasks', which would just add to the stress and make it less likely that I was going to get better. Changing one thing at a time is much less stressful, more realistic, and also that's how you change habits. Because changing habits and daily lifestyles takes effort and it takes time, and its hard enough changing one habit, but once that habit is formed it's hard to break it. But this isn't just my advice, I've also had therapists and psychologists talk me into this approach. I am a perfectionist, and very 'all or nothing', so always wanted to either be completely better, or fail at getting better - do everything i can, or do nothing. But in this case it's mentally more healthy to accept that you can't be better instantly, and that you shouldn't do everything you can to be better instantly. One slow step at a time
You’ve got this Dottie, more than you think! You started the biggest step by making your first video and sharing it to to world which can also help others 💖
truly inspirational, thank you for sharing this! I have one note... be creative WITH FAILING! Failing is so necessary and so underrated but in art in life in everything - without failing you can never build something new, without cracks you can never see the sun beyond your walls.
Love this video. It’s so real and so close to my life. There are so many things that I always wanna do but I have always felt I am either too busy or too tired to do them. For example, read a book before bed, call mom, do reading, make art... and I ended up wasting my time on my phone watching too much something of nothing. I felt I am very connected to the video you make and I love the way you made it which is very creative! I hope I will start changing my life the way you do! Will keep following up your channel and hopefully I will change my life too. 💕
i am so glad you decided to do this. i can’t wait to see you grow, and be happier as the weeks go by. i really wish you the best of luck, dottie, and i am glad you are back here. i admire your positivity, at least, how you try to be, and your determination. i am trying as well something like this, not exactly like this but similar, and i can’t wait to march with you along the way. you have such a beautiful soul, and i hope only the best come to meet you. good luck, dottie, you can do it. x
Found myself so proud of you watching this even though I don't know you personally. So excited to see what this new chapter brings for you, you've always inspired me with your art but even more so now with your strength x
I made my own "Big", "Weekly", "Daily" and "Right Now" lists while watching this video. As someone who has had profound depression for the better part of 4 years now this is a huge deal for me because goals are not something I've ever had; so thank you for being the inspiration behind that.
Glad I bumped into your video and I know it wasn't by accident. I have been going through something similar and it is so brave of you to let us know we are not alone, while you are going through it yourself. Really appreciate it Dottie.
this is EXACTLY what i need in my life right now. i'm tired of wasting my time on social media feeling numb and just existing when i could be doing what i need to be doing. i realize a lot of this numbness stems from lack of effort and making excuses as to why i'm not doing things. at the end of the day, i'm only hurting myself so it's time to move on from this rut. thank you sooo much for sharing this! i can't wait to implement it into my life from now on.
Do it! We are all with you! :) Also, it doesn't have to be perfect. Just do. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out at first. There is a lot of time. You don't build a forest in a day. Try. Try a little harder next time. All the love. And don't worry so much about it. You'll figure it out. All the very best Dottie.
Your videos have always been a source of comfort and of inspiration, and I wish you the very best on this journey, I know you can do it! I’m excited for what’s to come
I really missed your content and i’m extremaly happy to see you back and doing improvements in your life. I hope nothing but the best for you! good luck!
I loved your video and wish you luck on your journey! Even small, sustained steps can lead to big changes and major improvement. A word of caution, please forgive yourself as necessary. Making big changes like this can be overwhelming and you will likely at times feel like you're failing. But you are not. Opening yourself up and connecting to others is a great goal. Thank you for sharing your journey and being so vulnerable. It is a gift.
One huge thing you should not forget: Allow yourself to fail! I know this sounds weird, but you're going to fail eventually. You will have a day that you can't get out of bed, you will have a day that just isn't meant to be. Allow yourself to fail, but be sure to stand up after it. Failing is not the end, it's just a way to learn how not to do what just happened. Allow yourself some time to recuperate after something intense. Telling yourself you're going to do something productive every day is good, but remember that doing nothing every once in a while is really really necessary and even productive! Take mental breaks! You can't 'work' every day, you can live every day to its fullest though! That means having breaks, that means failing at something and not letting that get to you, making you stronger :)
Hope you don't set your goals too far ahead, make them achievable, so you actually accomplish what you want! Failing doesn't make you a failure, failing is part of the learning process :)
Bart Kuipers I was thinking exactly the same thing. You worded it so well!
"Be compassionate to yourself" that helped me A LOT =)
The point is that when people set many goals like this, there will come a day when they fail at something. It's just realistic. So he was just saying that you have to become accustomed to the fact that failure will come at some point and that's okay. It's practically impossible to set this many goals and nail all of them for 365 days in a row. It's actually a relief to realize this because it takes off a lot of pressure on your future self.
I really needed to hear this, I could never thank you enough. ❤️
Thank you for this!! Wherever you are, I hope you have a blessed, beautiful coming year ❤️
I know you've got to try your best first to find your limits, but I hope you don't let yourself fall into perfectionism and unreasonable expectations of what you can do. Trying is good, but I hope you keep a support network around you to check when you're doing too much.
I've never seen a better explanation of how depression feels. Can't wait to come along with you on this journey.
TheRainydayvideo 😂😂
Same
I don't know why I feel like crying after watching this, I'm so happy for you
Berta axo she hasn't done anything yet
Peter Eames Actually, it can take a lot to pull yourself up to make a decision and these declarations. So, in reality, she has done something. She's taken the first step.
^^^^^
Berta axo I know what you mean ❤️
I’m feeling emotional because I empathize with her...it’s hard to decide to get out of depression and it’s going to get harder when the bad days come back, you might feel numb again and go through the motions, but keep pushing through the new plan, Dottie, no matter how much the darkness wants you back. It can’t have you.
I'm arriving in a VERY similar place. "Trying" is such a good way of phrasing this new life-push. Looking forward to coming along for the ride :)
I can't wait! We must definitely encourage one another.
I'm in the same place. I feel I'm in good company. ☺
me too on the same road ... Start seing the progress already ...
Came her after your ADHD video and girl ;-; I see so much pressure on yourself in this video. I'm so happy that you found a 'final chapter', and I really hope you feel better and more free!!
She makes a return and it speaks directly to me almost. I've been feeling dissatisfied with the way I lead my life and I am so happy to see this video and what else will come from it! It's super motivational. Good luck with it!
This was so beautiful! The struggle to ignore your self doubt and push on with creative pursuits and the real things that make you happy is a constant struggle. I've found that self forgiveness is a crucial part of moving forward as well though. So don't beat yourself up if one moment doesn't go well. The ability to fail and move on faster is definitely a skill that I'm always working on.
Loved this! You are so creative. Just a little tip. Whenever you are doing something, tell yourself you are doing it because you love yourself. Tidy up because you love yourself, make the bed every morning because you love yourself, speak your mind because you love yourself, try your best because you love yourself, don't be hard on yourself because you love yourself. Every time you want to do something but feel empty or even lazy tell yourself that you are doing it because you love yourself and you want to make choices that make you happy. Make the reason you do stuff because you love yourself. A lack of self love is seen in every depression. Just come out of it myself. Also gratitude and forgiveness really help. Every morning I wipe the slate clean by forgiving myself for 3 things that I wasn't pleased with and then 3 things that I am grateful for. Love you
I am in a pretty similar situation right now and have been for the past two years. Thank you so much for this series! I just started it, but already I am so much more motivated than I was by all these other motivational speakers and stuff. It is so good to see not only that one isn't alone with their problems, but that there CAN be a solution in finding resolution and strength in one's self
Fail more. Fail more beautifully. Fail totally. Fall. Get messy. Try. Learn to program. When I was younger I was somewhere close to where you are. It was easy to do safe things that others praise you for. It is not challenging and there is no risk. One of the most rewarding and creative things I have done is programming. It is like many creative pursuits, but there is an interesting difference. When you are programming you have to fail. Over and over and over. Working out bugs, knowing what you want to happen and then finding ways to make it happen. It is messy and hard and mystical (others will not praise you for it because to them the result is simple, but the journey was hard).
Beware the trap of telling others all of the things you would like to do. They will again praise you and you will be less motivated because you are already gaining the gratification. Instead, do things... quietly. Fail at things, then when you have failed and tried and failed some more share the ways you have failed and tried. These are the stories others will want to hear. We learn from failures. Humans learn from failures. Both our own and others.
My resolution for 2017 was to walk new paths and be the brightest light I could be. It was not a goal for just that year, rather for my life. When I find myself in my routine I recognize that and go do something else. I also started taking really good care of myself. Writing, exercising (finding something physical I loved doing. For me it was swimming), spending time outside at parks reading, writing, and hanging in a hammock watching nature. Being more in tune with my needs.
Be kind to yourself. This video suggests you will be taking on a lot. Recognize your needs along the way. Surround yourself with people that let you shine. Or that inspire you to shine.
Thank you for sharing... your mind, voice, words.
May your life be bright.
Ed Beautiful!
This has resonated with me so deeply. Lately I’ve felt so compelled to take control over my life, to reframe my way of thinking and set intentions and journey down an entirely new path-and yet I haven’t been able to pluck up enough courage to actually bring those wishes to fruition. Watching this video might've just given me the push I needed. Good luck to you in this endeavor and thank you for creating such a lovely & thoughtful video!
Sorry if this has been said before but MY GOSH you look (and sound) so much like Keira Knightly! Good luck with it all!
My thoughts exactly
Daisy Vorn OMG i was going to mention that in my comment to her but i decided not to in the end. Yes she does so much!!!!!
She so does!
I was thinking Winona Ryder (circa Girl Interrupted)
Oh my god. She does! But I find her like Owen Wilson as well. Her jaw and the way she has her lips with the serious kind of focused eyes is exactly like Owen.
i’ve felt and dealt with such “stuck” feeling for the longest now(it’s maddening) and i couldn’t have come across your vid and felt less alone and inspired in some way to make change for myself. you beautiful human, thank you 💙
good luck babe. for a good 8 years of my life I have been going to bed saying to myself Tomorrow will be the day Tomorrow you'll be the best you The you you wanna be; been taking birthdays and new years and stupid things like an extra shiny new moon as A Sign that yes NOW is your time, this is the turning point, where one chapter ends and a new one begins, and oo it ties together nicely, I can apply meaning to this, i'm happy with the shit days if it's framed by and ends in this. I've written lists and lists and to do lists and to do to do todo lists and moved items from today to tomorrow today to tomorrow today to tomorroW - i've done it today! even - MY POINT IS. personally, anyway. change is slow. how many times i've tried to change too much at once. discipline and trying your best and breaking your time down into What will I do this hour? What will I do these 10 minutes? is sooo important. it's how you achieve shit without a mad random energy burst. i've been too ambitious, and inevitably disappointed and frustrated by myself, AGAIN, this year. I sectioned up my goals the same as you into the everyday the sparetime the sundays, mornings and evenings, and at the time i thought i'd planned a great timetable. but in the end, i'm not ready for it, so eveything has been shrunk to one, two, main goals, the ones that are the priority for me, now, in my last year of uni, and that is my creative work, and my sleep. your plan sounds marvelous, but do be kind to yourself? don't do what i do and spend more time writing the lists than ticking items off them. just keep moving bit by bit, life is bloody long, you dont have to be ACHIEVING something every minute, enjoy your days with whatever makes you happy. i'll try and be motivated along with you
just stumbled across this comment and i love this perspective, your words ring very true. so lovely xx
I cried while watching this. And I have decided to join you in changing my life. I have been working on it since January but I'm going to document it and share it weekly. You've inspired me. Thank you, I can't wait to start this and watch your next 365 days of trying unfold.
This is how I've been feeling lately. My gym shoes sit unused, my journals sit unwritten in, and my problems sit undealt with. And I'm tired of it. In this together.
Yes
This video really resonated with me. My life is in a pretty bad state but I started working on it.
Your line "havent tried trying" hit home. I was/am depressed and massively socially anxious and I was just letting it destroy me. I just moped around expecting something to magically to come around and fix it.
A few weeks ago I told myself to stop being ridiculous and I was going to actually try to be happy. I'm not fixed, I still have a ton to work on, but that minor shift to my perspective has yielded a few genuinely good days... which have been a rare occurrence to say the least.
Thanks for this video, the exact thing I needed to strengthen my resolve in attempting to do something similar.
she kinda looks like a Kiera knightly
bittersweetluv22 omg DON’T THEY IM SHOOK😍.
It is so soothing to know that you are not the only one that fills like this thank you. You inspired me to make a change in my life ( actually many changes ).
You'll be marvellous. Please just remember that giving your best doesn't mean working yourself to a mental breakdown :)
Rooting for you
Worth remembering. Thank you
You’re speaking to my soul, and for a long time that part of me has been deafened. Thank you for giving me something to listen to, with full attention - I’ve been struggling with the same kind of numbness for a while. You’ve inspired me, personally, so thank you. And best of luck, Miss Dottie, you deserve success. 💛
This is a pretty long list, especially for someone who is suffering from depression! Good luck and lots of energy for the upcoming 365 days. I'll keep watching. :-)
I’ve been feeling this way for a while and I’ve felt so detached, but this helps so much. Thank you Dottie. Thank you so much!
I want you to succeed so much! This video is makes me hopeful, at least I think that's the best way to explain it. I believe in you Dottie.
Thank you Chai! I'm so glad It's getting through to people
This year has been my effort at 'trying' as well. I'm subscribing because it's nice to have a sense of community when changing. Sometimes I feel alone but it's encouraging knowing that there's people everywhere doing the same
you can do it Dottie.
Thank you for your continuous support, Monika
i’ve realized recently not only how sad i’ve been for long but also how content i was with staying that way. i got so caught up in my web of depression i thought it was who i am but it’s not. you’ve really inspired me to try and take over my own life and try MORE. thank you so much for this video and this ideology and i really hope this helps you and i hope it helps me too. here’s to feeling better.
there's is no way this video wasn't here 😭 i was coming to your channel every time hopping you will get it back iam downloading this thing right now ♥️ keep going 👸 i wish you post more content
this project is my favorite thing right now and what you're doing is so inspiring and brave. change is HARD! this video actually pushed me to make my first youtube video and start my own 365 days of change and i want to thank you endlessly for that. here's to an exciting and strange year to come.
I truly adore you. Thank you (as always) for your vulnerability.
Overall Adventures Tina! Lovely seeing you here!
I truly, genuinely appreciate the effort you're putting in for yourself. You deserve it.
That stuck a major chord. Thank you Dottie.
The amount that I relate to this is unreal. The fact that you’re doing this makes me feel like perhaps I can, I really hope you upload the updates to inspire me even more and make me feel less alone!
creating something creative every day is a huge task. I'm an engineer and not really a creative person like you, but setting pressure on creativity often has negative efficinency consequences. Nonetheless, big good luck to you Dottie!
I honestly needed this video. I want to change my life to be the best version of myself. I want to start on my birthday on Sunday. Most of the things you put on your to do list I want or need to do, like keeping in touch with my family, reading, and being nice to everyone.
Please dont give up therapy! Having big energy spikes and high hopes can be a trippy mental space. Please keep small goals and dont try all this alone!
Youre a strong person, take care 🌟
Still in therapy!
I really love your honesty and know exactly how it feels to feel depressed with no where to go but your bed. I also made that decision to change my life though and took a similar path / steps that you mention in your first 3 chapters. Things did change for me and they definitely will for you too. For me it all started with my mind and then went from there :) I think it's incredible that you are sharing your journey, I really look forward to your weekly updates xx
i’m so excited to watch you grow, i love you
Me too, thank you.
you honestly inspire me so much, there is just something about you that makes me what to be a better person. Thank you
My life motto is; always have fun, in whatever you do, every day because if you're not having fun then you're not living, you're just existing.
I usually never comment on videos but this spoke to me on so many levels. I’m also a girl in uni but based in NYC. While I don’t post on the Tube I started making daily’s vids from my phone to keep myself accountable on positive change and growth and can totally relate to your ‘better habits.’ Best of luck on your journey, I look forward to your future videos!
Thank you so much for creating this video! Good looking luck even tho you don’t need it, experiences will change and can’t wait to see you grow
I have gone through the exact same thing for years now. I let myself fail my classes in the process, and allowed relationships to dissipate. i wanted my life to stand still unchanging and to bury myself in numbness. Like you i recently mustered up the will power to get my life going in a productive positive direction. a new motto I've adopted is refusing to use the words "if" and "try", I instead use the words "when" and "will." This has helped me realize that I am in control of the things I want to accomplish in life, that I CAN accomplish whatever I put my mind to. Its inspiring to see someone dealing with something similar taking the steps to change for the better.
I love this so much!!
I’ve learned that intention is everything. If I’m doing something, it has a distinct purpose. Even if I’m praying or reading for leisure or watching RUclips lol.
Scheduling how I’m going to spend my time has been the most beneficial thing to me.
If you haven’t heard of Passion Planners, that’s helped me a lot!
I’m so excited for you and I hope you change your life in the best way possible :)
Thank you so much for the tipp with the passion planner, I think this is amazing, going to order one myself :)
It's a great idea to have a lot of people as supporters and witnesses of your process of changing and getting better...
You are brave and you're going to make it 💕
"and the day came when the risk to remain in a tight bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
It takes courage, and strength, to do what you plan on doing. I truly admire you now more than ever. Love you!
I’m here for this. Here for you.
Thank you
This is my 1st video I’ve watched of yours & I am so here for your transformation!! @ almost 40 many things you mentioned that you’ve done have been my experience over the last 3 years. You have inspired me to create a similar journey. THANK YOU... many blessings and success on this next productive chapter of your evolution 😊
First- DOTTIE you are so inspiring and I’m going to try some of these things with you for moral support. Good luck Dottie James. I love your idea of trying.
I made the exact same pledge to myself this year, I started school after being homeschooled my whole life (and despite having crippling social anxiety), I'm doing yoga everyday, eating healthy, waking up early (and actually getting out of bed), limiting my use of the internet, doing something creative everyday, showing the people around me how much they mean to me and just looking after myself. I can't wait to see your journey, we're all here every step of the way you lovely human, and remember, it's ok to fail as long as you learn something from it, try your best but don't put too much pressure on yourself, you've got this.
Your hair looks cute !! You mentioned that you got a lot of crystals, I would love to see a collection video if you feel like making one
this is myfirst time seeing her ever but she reminds me a lot of Kiera Knightley??
Kill it Dottie!! by posting this and embarking on this journey and sharing it, you become beacon of hope for others with depression. Thank you
You can do it and it's okay to fail I love this so much xx
I related so much to the aspect of achieving some good things but not actually putting full effort into anything, and I think this video and your determination to make changes has inspired me to try to do similar. I'm in my third year of university, doing my last and biggest project yet and setting myself up for a future career and I really need to start putting my all into it instead of thinking "what HAS to be done" and doing just that minimal guideline. Thank you for this video, and the refreshing look on life
Ok, you need to watch + buy Brendon Burchard's courses, they're life changing. He had an offer going on and I was blessed to have used it as I wouldn't have invested the full money as a uni student otherwise. Since implementing like 5% of his advice I've won 3 competitions tech + sustainability + healthcare related, all 1st places and in one of them there were around 650 entries and around 120 judges and I won £1000, was personally coached for an afternoon by an ex-director at HP who sold his business for $1billion with 3 other partners. Like I said 5%. GOOD LUCK! I'm super excited for you
You have mirrored my feelings exactly. I will be following your journey and supporting you every step of the way while I work on bettering my own life as well. I've never seen your channel before, but I couldn't have seen this video at a better time. This will be a turning point for the both of us. Heaven help us, but here's looking forward to the rest of this year.
I really understand how you feel about the “trying” aspect of this video as someone who also ~not necessarily does not try~ but finds it hard to measure whether I have truly tried my best i can relate therefore your concept of having achievable goals to measure against it is something that I also want to adopt and replicate (hopefully this comment makes sense 😊)
Absolutely! And a big part of this journey will be discovering what it means to try my best and how much that takes as I haven't found out yet.
On a less self absorbed level I also want to say you can absolutely do this. I see a resolve in you that means sure, you'll miss things and slip up and fall off schedule once in a while. These goals might change slightly. Some may become less important - but that's all part of change. You've hit "go", and that's awesome. I'm so proud and happy for you, really I am.
SO EXCITED FOR WEEKLY VIDEOS \o/
this is great. I can relate. It sounds stupid and a cliche but, for me, giving myself some love and acceptance for everything that has happened and all that I am, is what gets me out of my head. I can be pretty impulsive, obsessive, and stay in my head all day, but sitting with it all, being with it all, is one of the best ways to heal. Let what is in out. Im stoked for you Dottie James.
It will be hard at first
But the longer you stick with it, the easier you will find it to be
I hope you stick with it, even when you don't want to
You will be so happy if you do
Good luck Dottie!
Thank you for these encouraging words
Exactly. I used to live this way, and caused me to go from depression to extreme depression and anxiety. It annoys me when people do this. If you don't look at your issues. You Avoid them for years, until you become servere to extreme anxiety and depression. I wish her well that it will work. But if your manic low you won't be able to function.
That chair squeak was so satisfying
I tell you one thing... I'm not gonna sit back and just watch you change your life. I'm gonna change mine right along with you! I honesty just finished writing out a monthly list of things I'm interested in and want to learn more of in 2018. I then opened up RUclips and here you are. Let's do this! ❤️
Dottie,
You're a dying god.
This is the end.
Your past is there in the corner.
Sweep it away.
Rebirth is today.
The future is now.
And it's yours.
XO Good luck!
Thank you
thank you for being honest with yourself and sharing it with us. I believe in you. much love and respect!
You have my full support you beautiful human.
listening to you speak is insane because i literally picture myself in the words you say. it's hard to escape that constant desire to numb things, in fact I guess that's what i'm doing right now by watching your video. i hope that one day i'll stop feeling like this
Always an inspiration, always good content. I missed this very much.
I was in the exact same spot as u a yr and a half ago, and i took the exact same steps as u. I find that the small changes really do make a difference, often times i felt like i just got caught up in the fact that im not improving enough and whats the point anyway then. But when i found comfort in the fact that progress takes time, and success takes failure, thats when i improved. I made to-do lists that included "get out of bed" "brush ur teeth" because u know when ur seriously depressed those things are somehow so hard to do. And as pathetic as it sounds, i rewarded myself when i completed those simple tasks, because to a healthy person these are mundane, but to me, it meant getting myself back. It was important that I kept myself in a positive cycle, if i finished 90% of my goals in the day EVEN JUST 10%, I wouldnt allow myself to think about the stuff i didnt finish because that would take me to a negative cycle. "I didnt even finish my notes, im stupid anyway, whats the point of bothering to study then" (this mindset caused me to fail 2 courses). At least it is better than nothing, and that means I am improving. This is already a big step, and I am without any doubt that you will get better. Thank you for sharing this, its going to help me and countless others (and urself ofc). Best of luck!
This is way too much resolutions and goals. Change is slow. You should do it step by step, and stay realistic, otherwise you will fall deeper in depression for not accomplishing those goals.
A bit before last year ended I also made small resolutions, including getting up in the morning, and structured my to-do list in a similar way: weekly/daily/right now the very second I think of it. I'm excited to see your transformation over the year! You have my support :)
You’ll do great all the love xxx
I'm coming with you on this live changing journey because I'm also at stage where I want a complete change. I got a depression about a little more than a year ago but only recognized at the beginning of this year how bad my mental state is. But I truly want to be over with that.. So change has to come :)
🖤
This is so beautifully made and goes along with the goals you have set for yourself. Thank you for the inspiration
this is me. literally every few days. and im still the same, havent changed a bit.. :D i think you could do it though. you seem pretty into it. But please take care of yourself and dont be stressed and if you are stressed you have to give yourself a break otherwise you will get a burnout! :)
This complete life change is so brave of you.. and I never realised why I spent these countless hours of videos and blogs on the internet. I knew it was to distract myself from life but never to numb everything I was feeling. And to be honest I have never done anything with all my heart, attention and passion, never 100%... So I am with you. Wanting to do better, try harder and try new things that actually involve effort.
This won't work. You have given yourself too many tasks. You are putting yourself under too much pressure. You're changing too many habits. You are giving yourself too much to do. You're changing your lifestyle too drastically. Even the most stable and proactive person can't start to change all of this suddenly, at once. The idea that this is even possible is damaging in itself, especially to young people watching this and believing that it's an appropriate goal to decide to change so much of your lifestyle and daily life over a year. A year isn't long, either. You may think it is, but it really isn't. You're setting yourself up to fail, and when you fail you'll damage yourself. Anyone watching this might try to do the same and they will fail. This sudden drastic choice and all these changes is overreaching and ultimately won't work because as a habitual creature it takes much longer to override your lifestyle habits, and changing so many at once is too much. You should really think about picking one to change over a few months, then changing another on top of that, then changing another thing. Not all at once.
I don't believe I've ever felt more encouraged. If I fail then I fail at that thing, be it waking up early or uploading a video, but that doesn't mean I stop trying to do it the next day, or week or month. I'm excited and I understand your standpoint but you seem to think I expected 100% success, I just want to try living for once.
I completely understand where you're coming from, and I applaud you for setting yourself these goals. I'm happy that you are excited to make these changes and I hope that your aspirations and goals during this year come to fruition. Many times in my life have I done what you have stated in this video and set about changing multiple facets of my daily life, as well as trying to ultimately change the grander and more abstract things in my life such as my overarching perspectives, my general goals and so on. I have set about on these sudden changes to everything multiple times and in one day decided to meditate every day, be vegan, wake up early, study harder every day, see friends more and so on. I made calendars to live my life by, made lists to keep me on track, made excel tables and filled in my daily activities green when completed. And every time I would make all these changes and vow that this was the new me - in a few months it would all come crashing down. It would start with one thing slipping and then like a house of cards all the structure and changes I put in place would fall. And going from a life of complete structure and health and change to square one again did me no favours. I would slowly work my way back up and then in many months make all the changes again in one swoop. Then the cycle of crashing cards and crashing lifestyle would occur again. And I tried to keep true to it all and be fine just trying to change but trying wasn't enough, because ultimately i could only focus on the failure.
What really helped me to change was to implement small changes incredibly slowly. I wouldn't even write down the change or tell anyone so that there wasn't that pressure. I would just decide to wake up before 9am every day. And after a few months that turned into for the firs time in my life since school waking up at 7:30am every day. It took months, but that change stuck. Then I gave myself another task a few months later and kept to that, and then after many months another task. I have slowly changed my life one small task at a time and provided my life with a stable foundation of slowly set concrete changes. Not a quickly assembled house of many many cards.
I'm happy that you want to make these changes, but from my personal experience, I have said almost verbatim what you said in this video, and it was always a case of 5 steps forwards and 100 back. From my experience, I really would suggest to take one slow step forward at a time. You won't risk your mental health as much as trying to change everything at once. We are creatures of habit and habits take a while to change. Sometimes people can barely change just one thing in their life. So try. Of course, try. Just be reasonable, and be kind to yourself by taking this process very slowly and very steadily.
Your method of changing everything at once I have done multiple times. It was like getting a helicopter ride to the top of a mountain and then being flown back to the start a few months later. My method now was done by slowly walking up that mountain one step at a time, and now I'm here for good. I hope my advice helps. I applaud you for what you're trying to do, but I'd be reticent to ever advise this method to reach better lifestyle and mental health x
GunsOnBungees Some people find it actually harder to do things one at a time. I know that it makes sense and is good advice for most, but personally, I myself am an all or nothing person. I mean how could I choose which to do first when all of them are so important to me? If I did only one, I would feel as if I were neglecting the others and therefore neglecting myself. I would feel as if I was merely "settling" for less than I felt that I wanted to be in that moment. It would not be good enough and it would lead me to feel incapable of greater change (for if I can't do it now, how can I expect myself to be able to do it later? and if I can do it later then why not now?) It would merely feed my inner insecurity and cause me to lose faith in the whole thing thus guaranteeing my imminent failure. If I want to do something and actually succeed at it then I have to put my full self into it from the start. If I mess up it's okay and i can recover because I know I'm actually trying. The failure to try it right now, is the failure to try it ever. For me at least. It is probably different for you and it might be different for her too, but that has been my experience as messed up as it may seem.
mann i was reading your comment and trust me i can relate to everything that you said somehow you have also made me realize that doing a thing on one time bringing a change slowly is much more effective...i have been failing trying to do things all at once.. even tho i manage to do for couple of days if one thing doesnt work somehow all other things loose their importance one by one....i have realized that if you do one thing or bring one good change to your life you really focus on it and it is done better instead of trying to do all things at one time. i would like to really thank you for telling your experience and making me assure of how to actually pull of things with love and effectiveness
PERRIE HADDAD - your English was great! And I'm so glad you connected with my experience. I hope the slow journey to being better and healthier is going well, or at least is very slowly continuing. And if it doesn't seem to be progressing then I'm sure it will at some point :) I was ill this past week and so had to stop doing yoga every day and haven't been eating well. But luckily all the other things I've slowly added to my life over the past five years have still been there. Falling ill is a good example of when something can happen (which is completely out of your control) and will make all changes stop if you've taken on many changes at once (like I used to and like Dottie has).
The great thing about slowly changing one thing at a time, is that it takes the pressure off. When I changed things all at once I would wake up and worry every day about completing my 'getting better tasks', which would just add to the stress and make it less likely that I was going to get better. Changing one thing at a time is much less stressful, more realistic, and also that's how you change habits. Because changing habits and daily lifestyles takes effort and it takes time, and its hard enough changing one habit, but once that habit is formed it's hard to break it. But this isn't just my advice, I've also had therapists and psychologists talk me into this approach. I am a perfectionist, and very 'all or nothing', so always wanted to either be completely better, or fail at getting better - do everything i can, or do nothing. But in this case it's mentally more healthy to accept that you can't be better instantly, and that you shouldn't do everything you can to be better instantly. One slow step at a time
You’ve got this Dottie, more than you think! You started the biggest step by making your first video and sharing it to to world which can also help others 💖
truly inspirational, thank you for sharing this!
I have one note... be creative WITH FAILING! Failing is so necessary and so underrated but in art in life in everything - without failing you can never build something new, without cracks you can never see the sun beyond your walls.
Maybe try less narcissism. Dime a dozen privileged white girl. Yukh.
I hope you know this video, your transparency, your mission is soo inspiring!! ❤ love & light!!
Love this video. It’s so real and so close to my life. There are so many things that I always wanna do but I have always felt I am either too busy or too tired to do them. For example, read a book before bed, call mom, do reading, make art... and I ended up wasting my time on my phone watching too much something of nothing. I felt I am very connected to the video you make and I love the way you made it which is very creative!
I hope I will start changing my life the way you do! Will keep following up your channel and hopefully I will change my life too. 💕
i am so glad you decided to do this. i can’t wait to see you grow, and be happier as the weeks go by. i really wish you the best of luck, dottie, and i am glad you are back here. i admire your positivity, at least, how you try to be, and your determination. i am trying as well something like this, not exactly like this but similar, and i can’t wait to march with you along the way. you have such a beautiful soul, and i hope only the best come to meet you. good luck, dottie, you can do it. x
Found myself so proud of you watching this even though I don't know you personally. So excited to see what this new chapter brings for you, you've always inspired me with your art but even more so now with your strength x
I made my own "Big", "Weekly", "Daily" and "Right Now" lists while watching this video. As someone who has had profound depression for the better part of 4 years now this is a huge deal for me because goals are not something I've ever had; so thank you for being the inspiration behind that.
Glad I bumped into your video and I know it wasn't by accident. I have been going through something similar and it is so brave of you to let us know we are not alone, while you are going through it yourself. Really appreciate it Dottie.
Thank you! I've been caught in a dark place for a while, and this was something I needed to see. Very inspirational
this is EXACTLY what i need in my life right now. i'm tired of wasting my time on social media feeling numb and just existing when i could be doing what i need to be doing. i realize a lot of this numbness stems from lack of effort and making excuses as to why i'm not doing things. at the end of the day, i'm only hurting myself so it's time to move on from this rut. thank you sooo much for sharing this! i can't wait to implement it into my life from now on.
This is incredible. You are incredible. I just want to say that I’m so behind you in this and excited to be along for the journey.
Do it! We are all with you! :) Also, it doesn't have to be perfect. Just do. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out at first. There is a lot of time. You don't build a forest in a day. Try. Try a little harder next time. All the love. And don't worry so much about it. You'll figure it out. All the very best Dottie.
Your videos have always been a source of comfort and of inspiration, and I wish you the very best on this journey, I know you can do it! I’m excited for what’s to come
I dont know you yet im so proud of you for actually getting up and making a plan to change your life so inspiring!!
I really missed your content and i’m extremaly happy to see you back and doing improvements in your life. I hope nothing but the best for you! good luck!
The energy you are sharing is mesmerizing. Stick to being the best version of yourself. And thank you for the best RUclips video I've ever seen)
I loved your video and wish you luck on your journey! Even small, sustained steps can lead to big changes and major improvement. A word of caution, please forgive yourself as necessary. Making big changes like this can be overwhelming and you will likely at times feel like you're failing. But you are not. Opening yourself up and connecting to others is a great goal. Thank you for sharing your journey and being so vulnerable. It is a gift.