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If a guy goes ghost quite often without contacting me and then hits me with a “hey” text, he’s blocked. Period. Theres this cool thing that's adults do called communication. I hear it works wonders for interpersonal relationships.
If someone disappears on you, don't chase him, it doesn't do anything but enhances his Ego, Love Yourself ladies and know Your Worth, Don't Ever Chase a Man!
Wise words! I agree, the small lessons out there before we were born. The sperm chased the egg not the other way around lol Never chase a man. And walk away from a boy who still needs to mature.
Lana Taylor hi lana..no mine i feel is like cat n mouse.he throws the bait to see me i agree.then i hear nothing for a couple of weeks. im just going along with it waiting for the promised romantic dinner.n new beautiful dress hed like to buy me..ha ! ha !.this guy thinks he can play me hes got a big surprise . i can work him.see if hes genuine ..if hes not i swear ill take him to the cleaners.hell wish hed never played me dont kid a kidder my love 😆
@I am the cat So men aren't allowed to have standards? We have to let women walk all over us? You act like you want the beta nice guy, but we all know who you're going home with.
@I am the cat I never said I was MGTOW. I do however, think it's a hilarious concept and their is plenty of validity to it. Guys are naturally pragmatic. Women are idealistic. They are also all about extracting resources and power from men. It's true... at least for 99%. Also, if you want a guy who never ignores you, then you want a nice guy beta. If you're the slightest bit attractive, a nice guy will do anything you want, with a smile. They're not real men. Have fun with that.
aleena young True, and it’s also why people should SLOW DOWN and let time do its job. Time is what will show us who is who. We often jump the gun without finding out who that person really is; big mistake. I learned my lesson a while ago, lol..😁
Natasha Adam You don’t have to regret anything; life is about learning. Every experience is here to help you learn how to be a better, happier person. We should be grateful for those people who help us learn something valuable bc it gets us discover our true selves, if we let it. Best of luck! 🌸🌸🌸
If a man is TRULY interested and into you, he makes the effort to stay in touch. If you don't hear from him for days, he's found someone else he'd rather talk to. It's as simple as that. Let him go. He's doing you a favor by not wasting any more of your time, and he's freeing you up so the guy who really likes you can come into your life.
I had to ghost the guy I've been dating for 4 months because I felt like he wasn't interested in me anymore. He stopped prioritizing me and it just felt inconsistent. I didn't know what was going on in his life anymore. I feel bad for doing it, but I know he's been talking to someone else.🤦♀️
This just happened to me this week I was just told we was not together but I am a person he had deep deep feelings for and that he wasnt looking for anyone that he found everything he wants in a woman in me and a week later no calls or text and this crap really hurts
Same here!!! I'm thankful for this video bringing the closure that l could never have with the asshole l went out with. The worse part we were friends before...now it's all over.
Same here! In both cases that had happened to me, they started a relationship even tho we were supposed to be in one, in both cases I find out by their girlfriends I didn’t knew anything about, both contacted me on Facebook and started telling me mean words! So low behave for a guy not even have the courage of breaking up with you before or had the courtesy to talk about how long distance is not working for them!
Yeah somebody else you’re correct lol I date a guy three months he ghost me come to find out he got in a relationship 2weeks later fasting foward 2years later asking me on a date lol naw I’m good
Honestly anyone who does this is emotionally immature. I don't like how he pins it on the female as "oh you weren't pleased enough by him." That's complete crap. If a guy really likes you, he'll make the effort to contact you. Simple as that. You didn't do anything wrong. However, if he does choose to disappear, definitely let him go and I agree with being grateful. You have no idea what kind of drama he was in that could've affected you or he was probably full of games. Ladies, it's not enough to look for the right person, it's also about staying away from the wrong person.
I think you may be implying your own bias on what is saying here. I don't believe the message is to put responsibility on the female when a man leaves. He's saying that if a man leaves it may be good as it's POSSIBLE he left because you didn't seem interested enough in him; and, if so, then he clearly wasn't the one for you and his leaving opens the door for you to keep looking so don't dwell on him being gone as you won't be fully ready to spot the next interested guy and be open to giving him a chance. Of course, it's possible he left because of his own problems too. Whether they be crises that came up in his life that he felt your relationship was still to new to be exposed to, or some insecurities of his own or maybe he was just a jerk that just wanted sex and didn't see it happening soon enough. Not necessarily saying any of those are good reasons for leaving in my own opinion but everyone is different and will have their own reasons for leaving and their own thoughts about whether or not those reasons are good and should be acceptable or not. Now, back to the point of the guys that just might be leaving because they didn't think you seemed interested. That point is being made as a point-the-finger argument to place blame on females. It's a piece of advice simply saying look at your situation and honestly consider whether it's possible that is what happened in your situation because, yes, at some point if a guy is really into you and feels like he has made that very apparent and hasn't seen anything back more than a "eh, whatever, I could take it or leave it" amount of interest back from you then, eventually, of course he's going to leave. So, no, he's not saying if a man leaves it's the woman's fault. He's saying if you want to find the right man sometimes you have to do some self examination to understand if there might be something you could improve too. Yeah, you may have to deal with some shitty guys along the way but if you are honest with yourself you'll be able to know when it's really the guy that sucks and when it's that the guy is good but he needs some kind of sign from you that you actually want him around.
+MellySummer4181 But women DONT LOOK FOR THE RIGHT PARTNER! The issue is the investment that women put into any interaction which is NOTHING. They don't LOOK or direct anything AT ALL yet expect the guy to do everything in the mating process, that is the problem. That is why the guy disappears or goes away. Anything that requires to much anything yet yields nothing but intangible supposed valuables will eventual cause him to lose interest. The first parts of interacting and mating is much like animals using sonar in the wild. You send out a sound to ping on an object and if you don't get a ping then there isn't anything there. Men need to feel that ping back, that reciprocity in the form of gratitude for something, that call back, that text back within a reasonable amount of time, the out of nowhere text saying hello, etc. You are not a child. invest something in the damn interaction and I guarantee this problem will go down in frequency.
Why does " him not being ready" make him immature though ? He doesn't have to want a certain person just because that certain person wants him. Now him disappearing, I agree, that part is immature. 💯💯
Ok well that explains it all perfectly. I am shocked I must say, at how many immature & non-confident single 40- somethings there are. It’s the norm far more than the exception. Has me wondering why? Just give ‘em some internet porn, video games & enough money to get by....this is the typical “single guy” of late. If a lady is lucky, he MIGHT be sober for most of the date.
Ladies, if a guy suddenly vanished - it's a great thing. You just dodged a bullet, congratulate yourself! Any - I repeat - ANY man who does this is either a very immature individual who has no communication skills, doesn't respect you at all and is a coward (best case scenario), or a true narcissist (worst case scenario), who was love-bombing you, but has now found another source of supply and is love-bombing her (to later devaluate and discard her, too). As soon as he felt that you're emotionally attached - poof! and he's gone. He will most probably appear again (in days, weeks, months or sometimes even years) and will try to suck you back in. Now this part is very very important. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. Best of all - avoid all contact and move on with your life. No matter how cute he is, how much you miss his laugh, his touch. We live in the 21st century, it's super easy to contact a person and let them know you want to slow things down, you need your space, this isn't working out, etc. If he isn't contacting you - he doesn't care about you. You need to ask yourself: why do I crave attention from this guy when he so blatantly disrespects me? What does that say about my own self-esteem and self-worth? Learn from it, be grateful for the lesson and for the fact that you didn't get stuck in a long-term relationship or, God forbid, a marriage with such a person. Believe me, right now you might think you would like that, but you'd be miserable and waste a great amount of time. This kind of behavior should always, always be a complete deal breaker.
Thank you for your advice, it really touched me. I went through something like that a month ago and part of me want him to apologize for disrespecting me, but I know that it was a blessing because God revealed his character to me before the relationship went too far. Sometimes I still wonder what it would be like being with him if he would apologize and ask me back. I dont want to fall for his game, so I have to move on and not think about him. You advice is just what I need to hear, thank you.
I had to screenshot your advice just so when I'm feeling stupid 🤪 lol, I can remember all that you have said are true. I dont want to think with my heart, I have to think with my brain, cause thinking with the heart will lead only to heart break and miserable life.
You should assume that something is wrong with them because there is something wrong with men that do this. I do this all the time so there is definitely something wrong with me. haha it's hilarious
Angela Brown exactly and wht if you an this guy hungout wed. and were talking everyday and cool and stuff and you find out later fri. night tht he blocked and unfriended you off all social media with no explanation. and(you don't have his number either) but exactly i didn't do anything wrong and all i did was be there for him and try to be a good friend.
I was ghosted a month ago and a while ago someone ghosted me again. Lol. I'm so sick having a conversation with someone whom at first will show me that they are interested to me and then later on will ghost me.
@@Demi.d3mi Even if they DO come to you, they can ghost you afterwards too - for a bunch of different reasons as you will find on youtube many guys to explain them
@@SexyWellness Yes , I got ghosted from a girl who came talk to me first and looked like she is interested , But i think all she wanted to do is to have or make fun of me (Basically , Disrespecting me) Then she ghosted me in the end...
Lai Lai I have experience this twice.. a guy i date ages ago did this to me..and now im going throught with it again from a bf for nearly 4 months i know we had misunderstandings then message him ignore my called/txt and deleted me on snack chat..i dont think every single person deserved an explainstion even they had a fight or something..its better to end the relationship face to face it night hurt but honesty its better than being ghosted...us women need closure, we deserve better m, we deserve to be treated nicely not like a trash..
Darth Ur No dude she is right. I’m actually consider myself as an innocent girl because my first boyfriend played me and then ghosted me like nothing happened... he left me with a broken heart I’ve never asked for that. And now this video is telling me that this is the way male behaves what am i supposed to think now ?:(
What if you told them it was okay to not want to see you again but to just fucking say it because you were not enjoying this game of only talking and making plans and never get to do them? he reasured me he did wanted those things and not to worry, then, literally hours later he went ghost and has been ghost for 6 days lol wtf
Yeah, just experienced this. He wanted to marry me on Thursday, I got sick on Friday and he disappeared on Sunday. There are lots of love-bombers, fake people, narcissists out there. Grown boys, not men. They are looking for a bad mother they can sleep with, a mother who spoils them rotten and doesn't hold them accountable. Once you hold them accountable - they are gone. And that's a good thing. They will continue this game in all of their relationships and can only be with women who are equally fake or doormats. If you are neither, you are just not his type :-) ... and that's a good thing!
It's a nightmare to see that the majority of men are like this whether you're in America or Europe etc...I am so attracted to men and so need to connect with one to call MY MAN, yet it seems they are just not capable of love, like they're not wired for that, theyre just charming self serving creatures. I'm getting more and more desperate and feel like we truly are living in some kind of hell because of this impossibility of connection and love that out female hearts crave and are made for 😢
Ugh. This explanation is basically confirming all the suspicions I always had: men are super nice and kind and charming in the beginning because they want to be liked, they want to see if the woman will be attracted to them and/or even sleep with them... all so that they can validate their own insecure egos. That's all it is for guys: ego validation. Then, when they realize the girl isn't really "girlfriend material" for them, the woman no longer performs that function of ego validation... and they move on to something else. It actually just shows the level of self-centeredness and insecurity in men. (Of course, once they meet a girl they really fall in love with, then they'll do anything to "get" her and "keep" her... again, because they need to validate their ego by ensuring that the woman chooses to be with HIM over anyone else. It's all a fuckin ego thing, isn't it?)
Wrong. When a man chooses you it’s because he likes you already. Men look at physical attraction first. Then if they like you it’s all about your personality. Once you passed those tests you are valuable. That man will stay with you no matter what. Ego and Pride destroy a relationship but love covers many faults. That’s how a man thinks when he knows what he wants.
@@giogarcia4002 how about a husband ghosting a wife who he learns pregnant with his child? He doesn't love her enough I guess or chicken out of commitment?
Bottom line is: if a guy disappears he may not be interested anymore. He either is evaluating you or he wants someone "better". This has been my experience.
Usually if it's the beginning stages, he is talking with more than you and gets more into someone else. Well, bye. Good luck with the other person dude. 👍😛
Personally, I vanish to get myself together emotionally coz I don't just feel that the love I'm giving is coming back to me and u like it or not it's not a nice feeling, pretty lonely. I feel like that my partner would just come back to me and gimme all that love I need, but to my surprise (every time) they don't get back! Men r persistent (at least I'm) but girls r not. They will wait and wait and wait then just leave. (Let me know what u guys thing about in comment below)
IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR MEN. If this guy was right,that men disappear because they don't want to be a disappointment in a woman's eyes,I have news for you: you ARE the huge disappointment in a woman's eyes if you disappear like that without having a final talk and making things clear. ALWAYS keep it in mind. On the other hand,if you had balls to tell a person that you want to end it,a normal woman will be sad,but she will respect it and she will not think of you badly(which also leaves a door open way more than disappearing thing in case one day you want to get back). And just the rule for all people despite the gender: just make it clear you don't want to be with someone anymore and only then block them,go away etc,just let a person to move on.
Really??? She's supposed to be respectful of a coward that just up and disappears. That's ridiculous! As a female, I can say that you are the reason we all get bad raps and men think we're stupid and that we're easy targets. Oh and by the way, just so you'll know, guys that play the disappearing act really don't give a shit about who they abandoned. You call her judgmental but you're doing the same damn thing. She's not being judgmental. She's being opinionated and has every right to that. I'm betting her opinions come from experience so please......grow up!
AI MEANS LOVE ai you're interesting. I am only using this stupid freaky fox thing right now because someone helped me with my phone, and I will change it. I am a white woman. I guess I felt compelled to comment to you because you are shy? I'm going thru hell right now with someone I fell deeply in love with who kept disappearing, then coming back to love me again. Its a deep pattern and I didn't (and don't know right now) wtf is going on! He seemed like he loved me. Then at other times he's totally different. I want consistency in a person. I even told him that I have abandonment issues but he didn't change. I also get the feeling at times that he is being shy. Doesn't talk about feelings, didn't initiate kisses or casual affection much. Don't know what the hell is going on, he stole the rest of my money for this month and came inside of me, left me for pregnant. Didn't contact me back to see if I was pregnant. Fortunately I am NOT! He is an Hispanic man who fathered a child at 12. Under Mexican heritage, the girl, 12 or 13 did not have an abortion. But later, he fathered one child with one woman and then, two with another. I don't live in a third world country, I live in Austin. I don't know if I was played, if he did love me, or wtf is going on, what to think, or what to do. Emotionally, I am in shock, with periods of deep depression. I am a libra, but I'm dealing with a hardheaded aries man. WTF should I think? Would love a comment.
Do you think that women ever told us they were not interested? Lol get used to it ... it's what like being a guy is like every single day you entitled prissy dames
I was ghosted by a guy last year and I was shook! But for reason I knew it was a lesson and that he wasn't worth my time anyway because any man that makes plans to see me and tells me he's thinking of me all the time and then can disappear overnight has issues. Anyway, I took the lesson and learned from it then almost a year later I am now dating a different guy who treats me respectfully and is consistent! We have so much fun together and I am happy. Its too early to say if he's the one but I am finally dating someone who values me just as much as I value him :) Gratitude and faith are key!
Interesting story thanks. But what about many cases when for exemple i try to set a date to go out with a girl and she finds excuses and After 3 Times i tried i just forgot about her as i felt Bad and didn't want to go After someone who's not into me. AnyWay it's a différent topic
So....basically, the guy is searching for self validation and practice at the expense of another person and once he is done playing superman and using this person to boost his ego and image he falls away because he doesn't "feel" it anymore? Or that's the excuse. Wow. Pathetic.
This guy isn't an expert on men, a guy like me can ghost a woman and let her think negatively of me rather than I tell her exactly why I don't like her. You find things out about a woman as you go along. Would you want me to tell you that I don't see you as suitable because; you're poor at intellectual conversation, you lack goals, you have permissive values, you seem to want me as resource provider rather than as a soulmate etc etc. Women generally are crushed by clear rational and honest truth. Oh yes, all women lacking empathy deserve nothing, not even a goodbye.
It's so disturbing to see how many women have endured this. It should not be commonplace for men to get a woman hyped up into thinking they actually have a good thing together, and then just get missing. Men have been hurt, they know how this feels. And just when they've met their perfect woman, with the perfect body and the perfect hair, who later turns out to be a gold digger, they join the MGTOW movement. Really? If you stuck with the real woman you ran away from you wouldn't want to associate yourself with a bunch of miserable men who thinks all women are bitches. Mean what you say and say what you mean guys. If you know you are not emotionally ready to be with one woman, then please do us a favor and stick to one night stands. This disappearing crap is not cute and it's not funny. These are real women with real feelings you are dealing with, not robots. You wouldn't want it done to you, so don't do it to them.
Except we are doing this because you guys make us play this game. It's how it's set up nowadays. You are a fool as a man to invest in one woman at a time or any emotional value when women are out here getting 30 messages a day via social media or have simps chasing them everywhere they go. We are just a number to you guys. And only the top 5 percent of men can straight up tell women "I just wanna fuck." and they go with that. Otherwise we have to play The Game. On top of that most men don't fit women's high standards nowadays so many get Ghosted. Simple. Math. If the average women gets 10 men to choose from (that's being modest) 9 get Ghosted or it doesn't go anywhere. That's a 90 percent rate of bitter or unhappy men going. Back into the dating pool. After being eviscerated so many times we go player mode, stop giving a shit and just get ass by any means. You guys seem to not care about us being honest and nice when a taller, richer or cuter option arrives and ghost or flake. So why do we have to play this moral high ground nonsense? It's 2019 we're done with that. Most women even worth that now are foreign women. Or you meet a unicorn which is 5%.
@@KazuchiX Nobody makes you play any game. You do this because you want to. You always forget that being single is always an option. If you know deep inside you are not ready to commit to a woman, then back off so a better guy can find her. Don't get her emotionally involved and disappear. That's not cool.
Lol I broke up with my ex a week ago cause he was acting so distant. He’s excuse was always that he’s so busy or too tired because of work. So, I told him that I didn’t really want to invest my time on someone who doesn’t have time for me. Let them go, ladies. Don’t waste your time on people who clearly don’t have time for you.
This happened to me about a year ago. He comletely swept me off my feet. He told me how much he loved me and that he wanted to marry me. Then suddenly, he vanished. I totally disagree with the excuse that a guy who suddenly vanishes, does this so that he doesn't hurt a woman's feelings. That sounds so rediculous! This kind of man is a complete coward and is only thinking of himself. Because, when a man does this to a woman it can be so devistating and completely break her heart. This takes a lot to heal from since there was no proper closure and it leaves the woman wondering what she did wrong. A mature man would be brave enough and considerate enough of the woman's feelings to explain to her, in the kindest way possible that he wants to move on.
+Mirella Mason The issue is the investment that women put into any interaction which is NOTHING. They don't LOOK or direct anything AT ALL yet expect the guy to do everything in the mating process, that is the problem. That is why the guy disappears or goes away. Anything that requires to much anything yet yields nothing but intangible supposed valuables will eventual cause him to lose interest. The first parts of interacting and mating is much like animals using sonar in the wild. You send out a sound to ping on an object and if you don't get a ping then there isn't anything there. Men need to feel that ping back, that reciprocity in the form of gratitude for something, that call back, that text back within a reasonable amount of time, the out of nowhere text saying hello, etc. You are not a child. invest something in the damn interaction and I guarantee this problem will go down in frequency.
I guess. Or is that the Masculine MEME we are indoctrinated with as we grow up as men. Now the tables are getting turned and things aren't as great when the men are exercising their options. Some of them have good reason to be this way, others just get caught up in life, work, school, etc. And others, know how messed up women have made the dating environment are actively doing this for whatever reason that drives them. The thing is how do we collectively solve this mess?
I recently told a guy to delete my number from his phone b/c I knew he was playing games. I texted him & he didn't respond for 2 days. He claimed that he was busy and time got away from him. I don't expect an immediate response, but 2 days is too long. I lose interest when a guy doesn't respond in a timely manner. I started talking to him online and we only texted initially. I responded back to his text telling him that I wanted to speak to him on the phone. What a surprise (note my sarcasm): he never contacted me back. Never chase anyone. Just move on to someone that is mature enough to follow through.
I️ disagree with some of this, some men have a push pull pattern that is learned from a neglected childhood. They have a fear of intimacy and a fear of abandonment. That’s why they pull you close...but when you become intimate they become fearful and run. They then come back because they fear abandonment. This has been studied for the past 20 years. When they say it’s them, believe them. It truly is THEM.
Taryn101 So what do you do in this case? If they did have a rough childhood without parents and a solid family, and is now pulling away when things get more serious or heated between him and girl, should the girl let him pull away and give him space? Or move on with her life, in which case he might feel she abandoned him as well? But if he’s aware that his pulling away behavior has hurt the girl, he should be trying to act right if he really cared about her.
Kiki, don't pursue, just leave, they have to handle their problems themselves, you are not obligated to help them unless you choose to, just remember though, many men and women alike use this as an excuse to hurt people directly or indirectly as well...
Kiki I would agree with NC. Going for someone with issues will hurt you at the end of the day, talking form personal experience. I wanted to be there for him and help him, but verbally attacked me because I did not want to sleep with him and thought I was judging and rejecting him. Rejection is something he had struggled with so it was a trigger for him. I dont blame myself, I just know he has a lot of issues to work on if he is even willing to work on them.
+Taryn101 yes. this definitely fits my case.. i kind of knew that he had issues ahead of time. he was trying to get together with me for months, and we were friends during that time.. i thought. we talked about so many things, we were so close, so in tune with each other,. i knew he had issues but i was falling in love with him and after a while i faced my feelings and let myself get close to him. it was beautiful and exciting and i thought maybe it could work. and that's when he vanished!! i am so confused.. we definitely had a connection, it just doesn't make sense. but then again, it does--in a very messed up way. i'm just trying to digest all this.
This just happened to me within the past week. I took a day to let it sink in and feel heartbroken, but then got right over it. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Like Matt said, release those bad feelings so better things can come in. Onto bigger and better things! Thank you, Matt!! 🙂🙂
I ve been crying for a month now. Totally wrecked. In deep pain. I need help. Then i just stumbled on this video and it is the first night in a month that I managed to stop crying myself to sleep.This might be the start of my healing. I need to understand to be able to revive myself. Thank u for this.
Hun, I was ghosted a year ago and was so shocked and hurt that my period didn't come! I got anemia and was catatonic. IT's not worthwhile!! Trust me! I learned good lessons. So should you. You will heal, but you have to do your work.
Irina Whiting it could mean a lot of things. In this case it could mean we are under a great deal of stress. Our bodies are fickle and individually unique it handles stress in all kinds of ways. High blood pressure, longer than normal period, no periods, heart palpitations, dizziness, sleeping to much or not sleeping enough...any time you have a period that is abnormal you should see a Gynocologist or your family doctor.
Salam Al Amin you can do it. I had the same situation and now he disappeared. I tried to call and text him. I thought that he really liked that much. I thought that I did something wrong. That was my fault. Now I have learned a big lesson. Thanks for this video.
If we have chemistry and you are a guy am curious about, I don't do push pull and act hard to get. I flow. Give space and take a back seat. He disappears after being hot( true story). I honestly understand. People are dealing with childhood neglect and abandonment issues. They have to heal. They actually aren't even right for any relationship. I ain't mad at these poor dudes. Wanting them means dealing with manifestations of those issues in the current relationship. Allow people to find themselves especially if you have worked through your traumas. Because nobody will love you until you love yourself. By then it won matter. Be your healer and person. Many people are dealing with personal demons, its nothing to do with you even. If you feel hurt, it's ok. Just deal with your pain because it's speaking to you. He only brought your own issues to the surface. Give yourself a chance to not abandon yourself and return to yourself. Once you accept that everyone only gives you a gift, you really aren't bothered if they stay or not. You belong to you always.
Being kindly told that he wants to end things is better than ghosting. Ghosting doesn't "keep things open" for the future just in case. It makes us lose all trust in that person.
This explains so much to me when I look back on a relationship with a man who did this. It didn't make any sense, one week he's asking me to move in with him, the next he won't even return my calls, and a year later he wants to pick up where we left off. This kind of erratic behavior didn't leave the door open for a return, it made me change the locks!
+Phillip Dawson What is a hotter girl ? A poor girl who thinks that by wraringa miniskirt and high heels she represents the perfect feminity ? Feminity is much more than that but you guys are usually too coward to seek for a real woman as they scare you too death. With them, you feel not a man anymore. And you are right,you are only young unexperienced teenagers when you think like that. These guys can run away it will more a relief then a loss.
This literally just happened to me and I was wondering what I did. We’re supposed to go out tomorrow yet he was super distant last night and I haven’t heard from him at all today. I didn’t know if I should still hit him up or not to see if we’re still on for tomorrow night. But I’m not going to now God guys can be such assholes, just tell us you aren’t interested and be done with it.
Ive been in that position. Its frustrating because its so rude and immature. I take it as a test of maturity now, and feel relieved if someone shows their colors sooner than later.
I'm not buying this whole "men would rather do anything than to make a woman cry" BS. If they know you are into them, why in the HELL do they think ghosting is kinder than truth? If their ultimate goal is to make someone happy, how can they justify doing something so low down and vile and think that this won't cause hurt? It's all about whether they respect you and your feelings, or whether they only think of themselves. It's not that they don't want to make a woman cry. It's that they don't want to be there to see it.
Men, do us women a favor. Don't try so hard to convince you want her when you don't even know for sure what you want. It's damaging to her no matter what age she is 20, 30, 40 or older. Just don't try so hard. If you don't try so hard to win what you DON'T even want, you'll create less negative feelings when you suddenly decide to abandon her for someone new.
Julie Anne indeed... if not sure then its better not to. coz if a woman finally ready to open that door that door to you and she started to open up then suddenly you vanished , it just shows you just play games with her.. you created her to be afraid to open up again to a much deserving one. just dont try to act like you just need replacement.
It just happened to me. It’s so bizarre. Texting multiple times a day, multiple dates a week, grown adult conversation and connection, then boom just silence. It has me questioning what’s wrong with me. Why would he act so interested yet disappear on me?! How can I ever trust when things are going well if I’m now afraid they can just disappear?! It sucks to feel a connection yet the person can’t even communicate. Bizarre
Texting you everyday, Dating you, calling , getting you to meet his friends then past 4 weeks in, dead silence. To weird for me after thinking you’ve been having adult conversations and just sudden dead air. Glad it was only a month is guess, cause none of it fits. A polite ending would have been less tense. So strange.
Seriously..what's with these men? I'm in the same boat. Amazing dates and amazing weekend together. Met his friends and family, insane chemistry. Texting calling all day and night long..to now im I'm going on one week w not a word from him.
lisa You’ve actually describes what happened to me, even the period: it was a month. He was all over me and I wasn’t until I became into him: he disappeared
Great info. I had that happen with a guy who played games for 6yrs off and on. I finally stopped talking to him cold turkey, he called, email and texted. I blocked, deleted his number and flagged his email as spam. Best thing I ever did, 2016 started off amazing without his foolishness😂👏🏾
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 that’s the key, men love to be ignored. The more attention you give them the farther they run for some reason. It’s better to cut ties from drama kings.
This is exactly what happened to me the past 2 months . Each time I tried to contact the guy he would be so nice and keeps apologizing for disappearing, then he would go MIA again. Now I get his message, and I'm over him. Thank you so much for this video.
Meryam.D Don't take him back when he left u and he stop talking he most likely find other woman. To hook up with and date she is gf. Than he will back to u when didn't. Work with the other woman's he make u back up plan. He will not tell u let u and stop talking to you cuz he was other woman's. He use lies and exuses saying he lost his phone be lost your number. He been busy with work he say he been sick All that lies and bs don't fall for that bs.
Thank God for all the ones who 'ghosted' me. Believe me, you don't want a man of low character like that in your life. How would he handle challenges in a marriage? Not well. I'd rather be single than to be involved with someone who won't even send me a text (which is the worst way) to break up.
In reality, women are not good at communicating with men. A man wants to love you and before he loves he has to love himself. So it is mostly self esteem issues/mental state/lack of emotional maturity.
we want to have sex, after this is done we realize that the sex of however long is not worth sticking around for the conversation, which most guys put the origin into. be more interesting, and there will be a reason to stay after the sex.
Spot on video. From my experience he’ll ghost you because he’s (1) just not that interested, (2) looking for fun not commitment, (3) has someone else and wants to explore their options with them but keep the door open with you in the event it didn’t work out with the other chic (4) you’re not a fit for his idea of a girlfriend. Long story short..he likes you, but not that much. Ladies don’t take it personal. Just think of it as the time a really nice guy who liked you and you dated briefly BUT friend zoned him because you weren’t into him. (But difference is we’ll kindly tell a man even if it crushes him. Most men will never tell a woman because they avoid that conversation like the plague). lol🏃🏼♂️👻🤷🏻♀️
@@rawleelp Because you loved him being a bad boy, if he becomes a man and gives you what you need then it becomes persistant, his value decreases. You are attracted to the fact that you need him but he doesnt need you. It's in your biology.
Sometimes, a guy will disappear, and then I assume he's not interested anymore. Then, I lose interest, and he comes back. Then, he's interested and I'm not. Then, I'm more relaxed and doing everything right because I'm not uptight anymore. That's kind of a bummer because we're out of sink.
it was the same with me. When after two days "eating myself" and crucifieing myself emotionally inside on what did I do wrong , finally I gave up and said, ohh there must be enough blessing for me outside from God, than to get stuck with this, and started to let him go, and even wished him happiness with whoever he was at that time (I guessed he was trying to connect with other girls), and a few hours later he just wrote me 2 emails, and became quite active again in getting the relation right. So, i think the key is really in letting him go, because there is enough blessing outside from God. If he comes back again and again, than I think he is the one :D
This is kind of happening to me. He pulls away a little and then comes back. I think he wants to do something but there's something else going on that I don't know about. At this point i'll be happy if we are just friends, but he's making that very hard. @@nyekijudit6272
this just happened to me. month of a man chasing me. went on a 1st date, it was great, chemistry off the charts. he deleted his dating profile and said he wanted to exclusively date. stood me up on our 2nd date and went radio silent for days. most emotionally damaging way to end a relationship
At least you got the first date...same thing happened to me except he stood me up on the FIRST date. We had been texting and talking on the phone for several weeks. The chemistry was there...physical and sexual. We made plans to meet for dinner and he messaged at 6:00 that he just had to shower and he would be there soon. I waited for 3 hours messaging and calling throughout. NO RESPONSE. I called and messaged for days even using different phone numbers (from other phone apps) and he NEVER replied. All I want is an answer ...WHY. He will NEVER get a second chance with me.
There are two kinds of people you will meet in your life. The ones that you will learn a lesson from and those who stay for a lifetime. Im greatful for my humbling experiences. Im stronger and know what I dont have to put up with.
My husband disappeared..m feeling like hell bcz we as a human being believes in marriages are for lifetym but in my case commitment even not Der in marriage..my dying evryday
I went through a breakup after dating for 2 years. I am much older than the majority of people who watch you, I am sure. It was devastating to say the least when he sat across from me and told me, he was breaking up. Odd thing, he couldn't say when he began not seeing a future with me. I had invested so much love and energy into the relationship and appeared we were fine then this happened. He never gave a hint of discontent. After the breakup, I did call him after 25 days to see if we could talk and he wasn't willing to discuss the past. I was able to thank him for the many things I had learned from him and about myself while together. I don't understand and probably never will since he never really identified anything specific and he wasn't willing to work with me to salvage what we had. I have turned a corner and have put myself back out in the dating scene. I have my first date next weekend. I will continue to watch your videos and glean from them knowledge. Crazy little thing called 'life'. I am hoping and believing that the ending of the past relationship happened so I can find my someone special. I am 67 years old so I don't want another heartbreak. Thank you for all you do so even the older generation can learn how relationships work. I was out of the dating scene for nearly 30 years so it's like learning all over again.
Take your power back. If he comes back, put him to the back of the queue. He can wait his turn. Seriously, a person can only take advantage if you let them. So don't allow it. Teach him how to treat you and move on to a better man.
slug237711 When a guy has the smarts to see that a woman is truly into him and he treats her well, 9 times out of ten, he will be treated well. Have to be observant as to whether she is into you or not.
Tough Advice Radio Yep. We can only be who we are, it makes no sense to try to change the world just because of some of the dishonorable actions of others.
Matt, what about the nice guys like me? I’ve been ghosted 3 times since January and I feel gutted, half a person. Ladies nice, honest, and genuine guys still exist. We are just eclipsed by all the bad.
I don't normally comment and I have no way to know your age. But as a 37 year old female it's happened to me many times and I have felt the same so I totally understand. But, Just remember not all women do this either. I cannot speak for anyone, but I have never nor would ever do something as disgraceful as this to anyone.
I know exactly how that feels,,,, it is one of the worst feelings to go through. I’d rather go through chemo again than to be ghosted after him moving sooooooooooo dang slow,,, and every time he does come back he’s advanced his communications with me,,, but it still hurts when he does disappear
+meld beach The issue is the investment that women put into any interaction which is NOTHING. They don't LOOK or direct anything AT ALL yet expect the guy to do everything in the mating process, that is the problem. That is why the guy disappears or goes away. Anything that requires to much anything yet yields nothing but intangible supposed valuables will eventual cause him to lose interest. The first parts of interacting and mating is much like animals using sonar in the wild. You send out a sound to ping on an object and if you don't get a ping then there isn't anything there. Men need to feel that ping back, that reciprocity in the form of gratitude for something, that call back, that text back within a reasonable amount of time, the out of nowhere text saying hello, etc. You are not a child. invest something in the damn interaction and I guarantee this problem will go down in frequency.
Jerome Greene youre right. and I did this! It worked very much. In those 2 months alot has changed. For the better! a little bit of effort goes very far actually. I think that us girls like to "test" guys alot. we put them throught shit to figure outr if theyre into us. but then, if the guy doesnt get it, he might kick. so in this particular case, I decided to just not push too much and let things flow. I gave out the hints and the message, and waited for the responce. which was more than I thought it would be! Thanks for your insight. :)
Cool beans. You are the first female to respond back in agreement with the concept. Just hard to tell women or people in general the objective truth of how interactions go.
+Jerome Greene Are you basically saying women don't put in the effort to keep the guy? Like, we think he always has to text first instead of waiting for him to text? Or just show you're interested?
I imagine a ghoster talking to himself like: - What should we do, what should we do??? - I don't know maybe tell her that we don't want to be with her anymore? -Nooooo definitely not !!! We don't want to disappoint her!!! Let's just vanish from the face of the earth instead!!! - Cool, that doesn't sound disappointing AT ALL !!!
Its a lot more simple than that.. He is putting feelers out to several women at a time, and if he gets results quicker with one of the others you cease to exist. If you are the only one, he wont act that way.. Even if you were the only one, you're not anymore if he disappeared...
Michelle Jensen Actually, I know a lot of men who disappear on women they're exclusively seeing and it's not because of a better option. And if they don't disappear, they still keep the woman at arm's length when it comes to commitment. Some men like companionship, but not commitment, so they stay dating one woman until she gets tired of him not committing and moves on. I knew someone who called these types of men "monogamous players."
Word of advice- if he vanished he vanished for a reason you vanish him completely outta ur life!!! It'll be hard to forget and you probably feel like shit like what did I lack that he had to go with somebody else but he doesn't deserve your time and love. enough time wasted. If any of you are heartbroken feel free to inbox me :) your not alone...
Gaga4Real hey, Lady, I am going through this situation, my guy, has pulled away from me and he won't even answer my texts, I am so missing him, He hasn't been messaging me, for a couple of weeks ago now. I can't wait to hear from him again. I am sitting on ready to hear from him, it's not easy to not text him and ask him so have you moved on from me, so I did message him this question, again no answer from him. I am wanting to call him, directly, but something stops me, I have even sent him sexualitys, mesages, no reply back from him. thanks I am needing your thoughts on this guy. Please and thank you. ?
ok fine. he can realise he doesn't like me anymore but then why won't he just tell me "hey sorry I'm not interested" when I ask him to do it. instead he tells me he likes me but disappears throwing some excuses that he is sick and he can't see me. why would he waste my time lying like that?
I think he doesn't say it straight up because in this day and age women have shown themselves to be very violent, destructive, and vindictive creatures when they are or feel rejected. Its a common pattern of behavior in the dating world. From false rape accusation for not calling the next day after a one night stand to a guy that just breaks up with you, the evidence is overwhelming.
This sounds like the behavior of people with dismissive avoidant personality disorder. These people make up 25-30% of the dating pool, and they get recycled over and over again from running from others that close to them or being rejected for their behavior. People are attracted to them because they seem to get really excited and interested in them in the beginning, then they disappear or ghost once there’s an impacting intimate moment with someone. This initiate moment doesn’t have to be anything sexual. It could be sharing memories, kissing, holding hands, etc... anything that starts to bond them to whomever they’re dating. Then, they get a sense of fear, and this fear makes them behave in irrational ways. They will no anything to make you go away. They will refuse commitment; claim to date other people even if they’re not; put you down; grow cold or indifferent towards your feelings; say you’re just friends when you’ve been in a relationship for months; or just flat out disappear. Then, they return months or sometimes years later, claiming they love you or want you back like nothing ever happened. They will keep you on a roller coaster of on again off again or just flat out disappear with no warning. If you notice a pattern, RUN! And RUN LIKE HELL! These people are unfortunately unable to function in a normal relationship with a healthy emotionally mature person. If you suspect you are involved with a person like this, look at the rest of their life. Usually, their lives are a mess and they don’t have many friends. They treat their friends the same way. They only care about the parent (s) or people that made them have attachment issues in the first place. Men like this have mommy issues and the women have daddy issues with abandonment and neglect. I made a mistake of dealing with a man like this for 3 years. I finally left him after I got tired of making excuses for him and his weird behavior to my family and friends. They saw my sadness and disappointment, but I was too ashamed to talk about it. Then, I finally let him go for go when he ghosted on me after promising to take a trip together we planned with me. It’s sad for people like this because they are actually lonely, but you have to save your sanity first and leave no matter how hard it is.
Omg thanks! I'll delete all his pics on my phone, all the screenshots of our conversations, everything about him.. It will be hard af, but this is the right thing I should have done before.
I just had an experience recently, online dating been talking for few weeks he used to text/call me everyday then we decided to meet he was all gentleman and all good date no issues (to my mind at least), told me how stunning I was and highly educated blabla... he drove me to my place, kissed me good night texted me straightaway how fabulous the date was... I texted back the next day he also texted the next day that he is busy at work... then puff! didnt hear from him for couple of days, So I called and left a voicemail just saying hi and whether he was OK, he texted saying he's preoccupied with some issues and with his sister's issues and that he will call me the next day... Of course he did NOT call! Men are very weird creatures!
Women couldn't teach men what they want, because they don't even know what they want themselves. There's nothing to teach either, both men and women are so messed up and confused when it comes to dating and attraction, that neither side knows their arse from their elbow.
You're amazing Matthew, thank you for the video. I found the difference between a real men and a boy is through their actions. Usually boys, they avoid uncomfortable situations/ conversations cause its easier for them to do so. while men, are able to communicate even its uncomfortable for them, even its awkward. But the main point is to never ask for affection. If he is ignoring you, don't try harder. Just leave when you don't get what you want.
oh my hahaha.. i actually collecting guys to chat and plan to meet at dating with them. but im still scared and lazy after what happen into all my past. 😀😀
I had one of these, a 1,000 levels higher. He had me, (and another 5 women). He was a sociopath. It took a break up, that plunged me into the pit of darkness; to realize he was a fake, sick, person . THANK GOD !!!! It opened my eyes! I now, do not date . I’m better than, a quick play. I learned a valuable life lesson! All the pain was worth the freedom, of making the same mistake again. 😉🙌
+Beryl Ojwang The issue is the investment that women put into any interaction which is NOTHING. They don't LOOK or direct anything AT ALL yet expect the guy to do everything in the mating process, that is the problem. That is why the guy disappears or goes away. Anything that requires to much anything yet yields nothing but intangible supposed valuables will eventual cause him to lose interest. The first parts of interacting and mating is much like animals using sonar in the wild. You send out a sound to ping on an object and if you don't get a ping then there isn't anything there. Men need to feel that ping back, that reciprocity in the form of gratitude for something, that call back, that text back within a reasonable amount of time, the out of nowhere text saying hello, etc. You are not a child. invest something in the damn interaction and I guarantee this problem will go down in frequency.
+Jerome Greene I'm not sure who hurt you but lashing out at me in a public forum was not cool. You don't know my situation or how deep it hurt. You assume too much without knowing what occurred. There's a reason why I had to look up guidance on how to deal with my issue, I suffered bc he didn't contact me. After multiple texts and a couple calls after a few weeks of not hearing from him I simply had to let go. And I did, and I'm healing. Please don't lash out at people you don't know on the internet.
+Jerome Greene I think it's a problem when you reply to a woman's post and blame women for giving nothing to an interaction. Then proceed to use caps (showing emphasis but often interpreted as shouting) then using the word "damn". I was simply thanking the RUclipsr for helping me understand why the man I loved, who I drove 5 hours to see once a month simply stopped talking to me. Don't make assumptions and proceed to "teach" women about dating when you don't know someone's situation.
I hold the memories dearly but guess who's takes ghosting like a boss? Me. Even though it hurts I am grateful for what am learning from this experience. And no, nobody is gonna ask him where the hell he went!! 😭😭😂 I let it all slide 😂😭
Good! Ghosting is a blessing. He's giving you a pass to move on to better things. Who cares if he doesn't like you. Seriously, who cares. You shouldn't. You have too much going for you to care! Live your life and be your best self!
I have a simpliar answer ladies. The reason why guys do this is because they were really not that in to you from the beginning, but they tried to pretend they were. Eventually they get tired of doing this so they pull back.
Mr Sheppard .hmm..I really like your answer.very straightforward.it's a good thing that you are not hypocrite like others.I believe in your comment.that's the most logical explanation.what else could it be anyway.
sorry stop trying to get them off the hook. Many men are gaming 3 women at once, this is true based on there being more women than men in the world now. He starts getting into one of the woman he is gaming and then instead of telling you he is into someone else, he ghost you. When it doesn't work out with her, he comes calling you again, as if he never ghosted you. THOSE MEN ARE NARCS. women be glad they ghosted you, you got away from the narc. I had 2 brothers and several male cousins and I was tombboy. I watched many males do exactly what I said. I felt sorry for the women.
Omg! This is so true, I had this same experience and I was grateful for his Houdini move because I was able to remember the good times and move forward to allow the space in my life for the right partner, thank you
I have experienced this slow track to "discovery" with a guy several times. It was very helpful to hear it articulated so well. I think their feelings are genuine in the moment, too. Unfortunately, in the end, it feels like we have been an "experiment," and sometimes they take a couple of months to go through their process, which can be very painful if we get emotionally involved. However, if you place value on yourself, you can let go and move on. Understand that a real relationship has to be a two-way street. If you are not right for him, he is not right for you.
Yes, emotionally immature men avoid communication. Thank you for this video. As you very wisely suggest, I will definitely try to generate optimism and gratitude... but with a dosage of reality (consequences for really bad behavior), a.k.a. tough love. I strongly believe that we need to cut out these emotionally immature (Toxic) men by not accepting them back into our lives if they happen to return (with the audacious thought that we will accept them back at all! Lol. I mean who do they think they are?!). I think it is terrible these immature men think they can just disappear and come back whenever they want... after all the turmoil they put us through. They should automatically know never to come back when they leave us like this. Not allowing these men back into our lives (not giving them a second chance) is the best way to make everyone grow the hell up... while creating the open space needed for wonderful, emotionally mature, strong men to enter
Went through this after 2 1/2 years. What you said about the emotionally immature man not being able to communicate and so he runs, is exactly what happened and I get it now. However, Mat, please explain why if the worst thing he can feel is that he will disappoint you or hurt you, how does he not know or understand that his "disappearing act" will cause you the most hurt imaginable?
Daniel McCoy I'm really sorry you truly feel this way about women. The only thing I can say is that there are good and bad people for both men and women. Not all men are bad, and not all women are bad. I understand you have been through devastating heartbreak, but know that you deserve the best as long as you are your best self. Don't carry this pain and resentment, because it will wither away at your happiness and confidence. Be strong and fight to be happy. Once you do this, and you don't allow ANYONE to break you because of this newfound strength, you will eventually find a great woman who respects you and loves you as you deserve. I promise you she's out there. Work on being worthy of her, because you can't do that feeling the way you're feeling now. Believe in your own worth as a man, and you'll get her.
Play a smart game,they ignored us,we ignored them too.There's plenty of guys out there.No need to waste our time on someone who doesn't appreciate us.....
true. My ex bf of three years disappeares once in a blue moon for some days and come backs as if nothing as happened. It's been 3years now happily moved on with my life. No matter what I feel that this type of men will never change even with their present wife or gf.
I met a guy that played the hot-cold game with me, so I just let him go. Then he came back to me months later apologizing and explaining to me that while he did like me A LOT, he was not in a place to commit to a long term relationship and he knew I wanted one because I was clear with him from the beginning
In my experience, men who disappear without letting you know what's going on and how he's feeling... it's because he isn't the one for you. None of the guys that pulled away had good intentions, but they all came back after a long time like nothing happened, one of them made a big excuse and asking for forgiveness, I let him in my life again and after a week started to ignore me once again. What I've learned is that a man who really wants to stay with you won't make you go through these mind games. It's okay if someone needs space to think and spend time for himself, but ignoring and acting different after being sweet and caring? He knows he's pulling away at the worst way. A man that really likes you won't like you to feel hurt or rejected, no matter how much someone wants to justify this behavior I will not tolerate it. Quit being afraid of losing someone when it's not your fault and you gave your best, they can feel you're weak and that you allow them to drive you crazy. This is why you shouldn't focus on one guy while dating, you create a big obsession, he becomes a priority and to fix things you didn't ruin
Amalys Rodriguez thank you for this, I’m experiencing this now, we rarely argued he never treated me bad or nothing, Infact i never met a guy who was so open and caring, he just vanished into thin air for like 2 months🤢then randomly messages me on insta saying you left your shoes at mine come and collect them... my heart sunk to my feet because it was very out of the blue. If you was to ask me what could it be I wouldn’t be able to find an answer. All I know is that I done my best and was very loyal. In a way I felt a weight off my shoulders when he messaged me that cos he let me see his true colours. On the other hand I think about him all the time, I can’t wait for the day to look back and laugh but right now I’m still healing ❤️
The message makes sense in theory, but difficult to apply in the heat of the moment or just after realizing you’ve been ghosted. I’m going through that experience right now, and let me tell you something, the last thing I feel is gratitude. I can take myself out on great dates and show myself a good time, but when I decide to share my time with a guy and he decides to ghost me when my day is brightest, well, that’s just the ultimate disrespectful and cruel thing a person can do to another. All I think thereafter is “thank you for wasting my time,” not to mention nobody gives me back this wasted time, and the additional time wasted on coping with the confusion and mixed feelings after being ghosted. So ok, time to buckle up, erase all traces of his existence and shift into 6th gear. I’m out...peace!
I can relate to “additional time wasted on coping with the confusion and mixed feelings” . tired of feeling excited and then…..lack of action. I’m not chasing - I need to see that the man is sincere….
It happened to me twice. First guy I dated 4 years ago was a messed. He would come and go. I finally decided to move on. 2nd guy I dated after 4 years of not dating did the same thing. He was into me then all of a sudden he disappeared. I tried to reach out. He said he was so busy but would never ghosted me and that I would see him soon. It’s been a week and never heard from him. I will never reach out but if he would I’d tell him “thank you for making me happy for a short period of time and I enjoyed your company.”. I will wish him he will find the right woman for his life and wish him a good life too.
Sheila You need to focus on yourself and why are men doing this too you. Stop being so darn nice! That does not work with men . Read “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov.
this just happened to me, i didn’t know that he was taking me as a rebound for his ex, and thought that he genuinely liked me, few fakes later he disappeared and started hanging out with his ex again, now he doesn’t call, doesn’t text, we don’t hang out, and that is very humiliating and i’m so upset and depressed cause i really liked him and this was my first time ever opening up for someone and giving them the chance to approach me. i’m still hurt and it’ll take time, but y’all shouldn’t blame yourselves, y’all are worth all the love and respect, don’t run after guys, the real ones will come along.
What Women need. Is a Video "TO" and "For" the Vanishers! That being honest and confronting the girl. Hurts less. Than the lies and just vanishing does to the person left in the dark! I'm not talking about a few dates. But a full on relationship. Then he Vanishes! Seen my friend go through this and it's very heartbreaking to see the person suffer from so many things left unsaid!
I had this happen to me a few years ago and I did exactly this. I wasn't made. I was grateful. I called him and left a message thanking him for the laughs, joy, songs, friendship, time, and attention. I told him I wish him the very best in his future. I really meant it. I moved on without any baggage.
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"The wrong man will always find reasons to leave while,the right man will always find enough reasons to stay"
Absolutely right
Yessss
Love this 😁 so true
Perfect quote.
Spot on 👍
Here’s how I look at it, instead of me taking the trash out, the trash took itself out 😉
LoL! 😭
Amen. 🙌
😅😅😅 I agree
Lol
A fucking MEN😂😂🙌🙌
In summary, if he disappears he is a coward who is no longer interested in you. Be grateful the coward is gone.
😂😂😂😂✔✔✔
Beatrice T 👍👍🤘🤣🤣
that's exactly it
Rachel Rio Hernandez should be happy that he moved back with hi real wife.
But they come back 🤩this makes as confusing
If a guy goes ghost quite often without contacting me and then hits me with a “hey” text, he’s blocked. Period. Theres this cool thing that's adults do called communication. I hear it works wonders for interpersonal relationships.
Men have other things to do besides women .
@@johngant3553 If he's blocked he has more time and reason to GO do those things.
You sound like a needy bitch
Amen perfect reaction 👌
@@johngant3553 😄k
If someone disappears on you, don't chase him, it doesn't do anything but enhances his Ego, Love Yourself ladies and know Your Worth, Don't Ever Chase a Man!
Beautiful morning 1977 Totally. This man led me on and then when I reciprocated interest, he dumped me. I won't talk to him anymore.
🙏🏽
Beautiful morning 1977 Exactly, Those who do makes themselves be labeled as a female
Yup🙋♀️
Wise words! I agree, the small lessons out there before we were born. The sperm chased the egg not the other way around lol Never chase a man. And walk away from a boy who still needs to mature.
When guys disappear after acting interested, I say Amen. Rejection is divine protection.
Lana Taylor Thank you! Exactly what I needed to hear!
Lana Taylor thanks for those comforting words. i'm still looking for the love of my life.
Your welcome ;)
Let me just add: Thank goodness he disappeared...now THE RIGHT GUY can get to me!!!!
Lana Taylor hi lana..no mine i feel is like cat n mouse.he throws the bait to see me
i agree.then i hear nothing for a couple of weeks. im just going along with it waiting for the promised romantic dinner.n new beautiful dress hed like to buy me..ha ! ha !.this guy thinks he can play me
hes got a big surprise . i can work him.see if hes genuine ..if hes not i swear ill take him to the cleaners.hell wish hed never played me
dont kid a kidder my love 😆
Disappear after leading me on and you will never see or hear from me again ever. It's cowardly abuse.
Kelly Stone amen
@I am the cat So men aren't allowed to have standards? We have to let women walk all over us? You act like you want the beta nice guy, but we all know who you're going home with.
@I am the cat I never said I was MGTOW. I do however, think it's a hilarious concept and their is plenty of validity to it. Guys are naturally pragmatic. Women are idealistic. They are also all about extracting resources and power from men. It's true... at least for 99%. Also, if you want a guy who never ignores you, then you want a nice guy beta. If you're the slightest bit attractive, a nice guy will do anything you want, with a smile. They're not real men. Have fun with that.
Yasssssss!
What if she vanished?
1. Believe that the man / relationship meant for you will soon find you
2. Release, do no resist
3. Be in the grateful position
blue_ambiance,I admire your lovely smile
This is why so many people have trust issues
aleena young True, and it’s also why people should SLOW DOWN and let time do its job. Time is what will show us who is who. We often jump the gun without finding out who that person really is; big mistake. I learned my lesson a while ago, lol..😁
Me too and still regret it
Yes let time do it's thing if it's meant to b,It'll work out. I can't sound desperate now :(
Natasha Adam You don’t have to regret anything; life is about learning. Every experience is here to help you learn how to be a better, happier person. We should be grateful for those people who help us learn something valuable bc it gets us discover our true selves, if we let it. Best of luck! 🌸🌸🌸
@@NewYorkNadia Well said good luck to you. ❤
When it's time to settle down , the man of my life (right one) will come and sweep me off my feet 😃
Amen !
If a man is TRULY interested and into you, he makes the effort to stay in touch. If you don't hear from him for days, he's found someone else he'd rather talk to. It's as simple as that. Let him go. He's doing you a favor by not wasting any more of your time, and he's freeing you up so the guy who really likes you can come into your life.
A few days? It doesn’t hurt to give them a little space.
Laura Z now u just lying too urself 😔 i can relate
I agree. If he’s not pursuing you then he’s really not interested.
I had to ghost the guy I've been dating for 4 months because I felt like he wasn't interested in me anymore. He stopped prioritizing me and it just felt inconsistent. I didn't know what was going on in his life anymore. I feel bad for doing it, but I know he's been talking to someone else.🤦♀️
Donna Corona Why ghost him? Why not talk to him about it? I guess if there was not much going on then letting it fade away is fine.
That shit is heartbreaking. This just happened to me, and I'm glad I found this video, but I'm still dissapointed because I was really into him.
Garianne LaVie what did he do and what did you do. I need to know. This is important for me Garianne!
omg we're on the same situation, because i was really into him. that's really frustating and make me so sad!
This just happened to me this week I was just told we was not together but I am a person he had deep deep feelings for and that he wasnt looking for anyone that he found everything he wants in a woman in me and a week later no calls or text and this crap really hurts
Going through the same hope your feeling better now
Same here!!! I'm thankful for this video bringing the closure that l could never have with the asshole l went out with. The worse part we were friends before...now it's all over.
In my life experience they've usually got someone else in their life.
Mean = girlfriend
Yeah... Ive had that happen to me but... I've also done it myself...
Same here! In both cases that had happened to me, they started a relationship even tho we were supposed to be in one, in both cases I find out by their girlfriends I didn’t knew anything about, both contacted me on Facebook and started telling me mean words! So low behave for a guy not even have the courage of breaking up with you before or had the courtesy to talk about how long distance is not working for them!
Yeah somebody else you’re correct lol
I date a guy three months he ghost me come to find out he got in a relationship 2weeks later fasting foward 2years later asking me on a date lol naw I’m good
Definitely, my guy had another committed relationship; it was marriage! Though he talked of divorce.
I agree with this guy. Don't chase, R-E-P-L-A-C-E !
If he's so easily replaceable then he must never have been that special in the first place....
Hi there.How are you doing Anna?
@@CuttySobz burn
Exactly 💯💯💯💯
Honestly anyone who does this is emotionally immature. I don't like how he pins it on the female as "oh you weren't pleased enough by him." That's complete crap. If a guy really likes you, he'll make the effort to contact you. Simple as that. You didn't do anything wrong. However, if he does choose to disappear, definitely let him go and I agree with being grateful. You have no idea what kind of drama he was in that could've affected you or he was probably full of games. Ladies, it's not enough to look for the right person, it's also about staying away from the wrong person.
I think you may be implying your own bias on what is saying here. I don't believe the message is to put responsibility on the female when a man leaves. He's saying that if a man leaves it may be good as it's POSSIBLE he left because you didn't seem interested enough in him; and, if so, then he clearly wasn't the one for you and his leaving opens the door for you to keep looking so don't dwell on him being gone as you won't be fully ready to spot the next interested guy and be open to giving him a chance. Of course, it's possible he left because of his own problems too. Whether they be crises that came up in his life that he felt your relationship was still to new to be exposed to, or some insecurities of his own or maybe he was just a jerk that just wanted sex and didn't see it happening soon enough. Not necessarily saying any of those are good reasons for leaving in my own opinion but everyone is different and will have their own reasons for leaving and their own thoughts about whether or not those reasons are good and should be acceptable or not. Now, back to the point of the guys that just might be leaving because they didn't think you seemed interested. That point is being made as a point-the-finger argument to place blame on females. It's a piece of advice simply saying look at your situation and honestly consider whether it's possible that is what happened in your situation because, yes, at some point if a guy is really into you and feels like he has made that very apparent and hasn't seen anything back more than a "eh, whatever, I could take it or leave it" amount of interest back from you then, eventually, of course he's going to leave. So, no, he's not saying if a man leaves it's the woman's fault. He's saying if you want to find the right man sometimes you have to do some self examination to understand if there might be something you could improve too. Yeah, you may have to deal with some shitty guys along the way but if you are honest with yourself you'll be able to know when it's really the guy that sucks and when it's that the guy is good but he needs some kind of sign from you that you actually want him around.
+Jacob S that's meant to say isn't* a point-the-finger argument
Cassie Tucker I totally agree. That's why I talk about being grateful in the post. God bless! ☺
+MellySummer4181 But women DONT LOOK FOR THE RIGHT PARTNER! The issue is the investment that women put into any interaction which is NOTHING. They don't LOOK or direct anything AT ALL yet expect the guy to do everything in the mating process, that is the problem. That is why the guy disappears or goes away. Anything that requires to much anything yet yields nothing but intangible supposed valuables will eventual cause him to lose interest. The first parts of interacting and mating is much like animals using sonar in the wild. You send out a sound to ping on an object and if you don't get a ping then there isn't anything there. Men need to feel that ping back, that reciprocity in the form of gratitude for something, that call back, that text back within a reasonable amount of time, the out of nowhere text saying hello, etc. You are not a child. invest something in the damn interaction and I guarantee this problem will go down in frequency.
+MellySummer4181 That is so true, Melly. Thanks!
Don't care how much he said he was in love. Actions speak louder than words. He vanish n so do I.
love the gratitude part.
That's right.
dbedazzling1 yes !!! exactly..talk is cheap !! the proof is with actions
and dont open up the door for him to come back either
dbedazzling1 😂😂😂😂😂😂I KNO THAT RITE 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂YEEEES BEST COMMENT IVE SEEN IN THIS WHOLE SECTION
He’s not ready on commitment, still immature and he can’t see himself being with you. He wants to enjoy being single and keep on dating only.
Absolutely right
yeah. you're right
Why does " him not being ready" make him immature though ? He doesn't have to want a certain person just because that certain person wants him. Now him disappearing, I agree, that part is immature. 💯💯
Ya same happened wid me but he was my husband who disappeared it's hurting like hell
The thing is he is a husband. How do u explain that? I don't get what's going on in his head.
A confident and mature man doesnt vanish without a warning.
Hiba Amegrissi i agree.
I'm a guy and i have to say i agree on this. Maturity.
Agree
Ok well that explains it all perfectly. I am shocked I must say, at how many immature & non-confident single 40- somethings there are. It’s the norm far more than the exception. Has me wondering why? Just give ‘em some internet porn, video games & enough money to get by....this is the typical “single guy” of late. If a lady is lucky, he MIGHT be sober for most of the date.
@@juliedevaney8364 Thanks
Ladies, if a guy suddenly vanished - it's a great thing. You just dodged a bullet, congratulate yourself! Any - I repeat - ANY man who does this is either a very immature individual who has no communication skills, doesn't respect you at all and is a coward (best case scenario), or a true narcissist (worst case scenario), who was love-bombing you, but has now found another source of supply and is love-bombing her (to later devaluate and discard her, too). As soon as he felt that you're emotionally attached - poof! and he's gone. He will most probably appear again (in days, weeks, months or sometimes even years) and will try to suck you back in. Now this part is very very important. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. Best of all - avoid all contact and move on with your life. No matter how cute he is, how much you miss his laugh, his touch. We live in the 21st century, it's super easy to contact a person and let them know you want to slow things down, you need your space, this isn't working out, etc. If he isn't contacting you - he doesn't care about you. You need to ask yourself: why do I crave attention from this guy when he so blatantly disrespects me? What does that say about my own self-esteem and self-worth? Learn from it, be grateful for the lesson and for the fact that you didn't get stuck in a long-term relationship or, God forbid, a marriage with such a person. Believe me, right now you might think you would like that, but you'd be miserable and waste a great amount of time. This kind of behavior should always, always be a complete deal breaker.
grynai yep
Well said Grynia 👍🏼 thank you ☺️ words of a wise woman right here ☝🏻
Thank You!
Thank you for your advice, it really touched me. I went through something like that a month ago and part of me want him to apologize for disrespecting me, but I know that it was a blessing because God revealed his character to me before the relationship went too far. Sometimes I still wonder what it would be like being with him if he would apologize and ask me back. I dont want to fall for his game, so I have to move on and not think about him. You advice is just what I need to hear, thank you.
I had to screenshot your advice just so when I'm feeling stupid 🤪 lol, I can remember all that you have said are true. I dont want to think with my heart, I have to think with my brain, cause thinking with the heart will lead only to heart break and miserable life.
When someone does something like that to me. I assume something is wrong with them...🙄 Especially when I know I didn't do anything...
betty davis is LDR or long distance relationships is big hendrance to a couples??! it makes you dissapear.
You should assume that something is wrong with them because there is something wrong with men that do this. I do this all the time so there is definitely something wrong with me. haha it's hilarious
Angela Brown exactly and wht if you an this guy hungout wed. and were talking everyday and cool and stuff and you find out later fri. night tht he blocked and unfriended you off all social media with no explanation. and(you don't have his number either) but exactly i didn't do anything wrong and all i did was be there for him and try to be a good friend.
Angela Brown, I love this attitude. I'm working hard to heal myself so that I can see it the way you do. Thanks for the inspiration :)
I was ghosted a month ago and a while ago someone ghosted me again. Lol. I'm so sick having a conversation with someone whom at first will show me that they are interested to me and then later on will ghost me.
Just stop going after them, let them come to you and let them pursue you. The right MAN will have no issue doing that for you
@@Demi.d3mi Even if they DO come to you, they can ghost you afterwards too - for a bunch of different reasons as you will find on youtube many guys to explain them
@@SexyWellness Yes , I got ghosted from a girl who came talk to me first and looked like she is interested , But i think all she wanted to do is to have or make fun of me (Basically , Disrespecting me)
Then she ghosted me in the end...
Lai Lai I have experience this twice.. a guy i date ages ago did this to me..and now im going throught with it again from a bf for nearly 4 months i know we had misunderstandings then message him ignore my called/txt and deleted me on snack chat..i dont think every single person deserved an explainstion even they had a fight or something..its better to end the relationship face to face it night hurt but honesty its better than being ghosted...us women need closure, we deserve better m, we deserve to be treated nicely not like a trash..
I am experiencing this shit right now
Sick of men and the games, I'm not dating anymore , done
Av V exactly how I feel lol
I wish I could like your comment more than once!!!
Yeah I think I'm out the game myself
I agree
This is the most golden comment in RUclips history
whatever they do they definitely hurt innocent girls by doing this.
it happened to me and it does hurt. They shouldn't even show interest if they were just going to trow everything away
Darth Ur No dude she is right. I’m actually consider myself as an innocent girl because my first boyfriend played me and then ghosted me like nothing happened... he left me with a broken heart I’ve never asked for that. And now this video is telling me that this is the way male behaves what am i supposed to think now ?:(
Jess Rawat you are right 😐
@Greg Pincus Not true. Maybe the ones you've been in contact aren't, but there are many others that are.
I agree. Been here a few times. Why do they just man up?
They just don’t want to say in your face that they don’t want you anymore
That's sad😑
Damn this hurts but true af
What if you told them it was okay to not want to see you again but to just fucking say it because you were not enjoying this game of only talking and making plans and never get to do them? he reasured me he did wanted those things and not to worry, then, literally hours later he went ghost and has been ghost for 6 days lol wtf
@@mafestroja i feel you..this is what exactly happened to me..
@@marychris9222 i think our ghosts have girlfriends haha
Yeah, just experienced this. He wanted to marry me on Thursday, I got sick on Friday and he disappeared on Sunday. There are lots of love-bombers, fake people, narcissists out there. Grown boys, not men. They are looking for a bad mother they can sleep with, a mother who spoils them rotten and doesn't hold them accountable. Once you hold them accountable - they are gone. And that's a good thing. They will continue this game in all of their relationships and can only be with women who are equally fake or doormats. If you are neither, you are just not his type :-) ... and that's a good thing!
Well stated
Best post ever. I can’t quit laughing. Thank you for making my day!
I love every single word I read on this comment
It's a nightmare to see that the majority of men are like this whether you're in America or Europe etc...I am so attracted to men and so need to connect with one to call MY MAN, yet it seems they are just not capable of love, like they're not wired for that, theyre just charming self serving creatures. I'm getting more and more desperate and feel like we truly are living in some kind of hell because of this impossibility of connection and love that out female hearts crave and are made for 😢
Makes your head spin doesn’t it!
Ugh. This explanation is basically confirming all the suspicions I always had: men are super nice and kind and charming in the beginning because they want to be liked, they want to see if the woman will be attracted to them and/or even sleep with them... all so that they can validate their own insecure egos. That's all it is for guys: ego validation. Then, when they realize the girl isn't really "girlfriend material" for them, the woman no longer performs that function of ego validation... and they move on to something else. It actually just shows the level of self-centeredness and insecurity in men.
(Of course, once they meet a girl they really fall in love with, then they'll do anything to "get" her and "keep" her... again, because they need to validate their ego by ensuring that the woman chooses to be with HIM over anyone else. It's all a fuckin ego thing, isn't it?)
Kira S, you deserve to be with a good man!
Hi there.How are you doing ?
@@lioydwilliams1850 no she does not simp boy wonder
Wrong. When a man chooses you it’s because he likes you already. Men look at physical attraction first. Then if they like you it’s all about your personality. Once you passed those tests you are valuable. That man will stay with you no matter what. Ego and Pride destroy a relationship but love covers many faults. That’s how a man thinks when he knows what he wants.
@@giogarcia4002 how about a husband ghosting a wife who he learns pregnant with his child? He doesn't love her enough I guess or chicken out of commitment?
Bottom line is: if a guy disappears he may not be interested anymore. He either is evaluating you or he wants someone "better". This has been my experience.
Usually if it's the beginning stages, he is talking with more than you and gets more into someone else. Well, bye. Good luck with the other person dude. 👍😛
I think I share the same experience, i was so disappointed
Personally, I vanish to get myself together emotionally coz I don't just feel that the love I'm giving is coming back to me and u like it or not it's not a nice feeling, pretty lonely. I feel like that my partner would just come back to me and gimme all that love I need, but to my surprise (every time) they don't get back!
Men r persistent (at least I'm) but girls r not. They will wait and wait and wait then just leave.
(Let me know what u guys thing about in comment below)
Or he has unaddressed issues
@@tinaleeth2707 as in?
IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR MEN. If this guy was right,that men disappear because they don't want to be a disappointment in a woman's eyes,I have news for you: you ARE the huge disappointment in a woman's eyes if you disappear like that without having a final talk and making things clear. ALWAYS keep it in mind. On the other hand,if you had balls to tell a person that you want to end it,a normal woman will be sad,but she will respect it and she will not think of you badly(which also leaves a door open way more than disappearing thing in case one day you want to get back). And just the rule for all people despite the gender: just make it clear you don't want to be with someone anymore and only then block them,go away etc,just let a person to move on.
Amen. Disappear and just know she will not respect you.
Lorri Lewis yes exactly.
i aint waiting around..this is a brill video 😊
Really??? She's supposed to be respectful of a coward that just up and disappears. That's ridiculous! As a female, I can say that you are the reason we all get bad raps and men think we're stupid and that we're easy targets. Oh and by the way, just so you'll know, guys that play the disappearing act really don't give a shit about who they abandoned. You call her judgmental but you're doing the same damn thing. She's not being judgmental. She's being opinionated and has every right to that. I'm betting her opinions come from experience so please......grow up!
AI MEANS LOVE ai you're interesting. I am only using this stupid freaky fox thing right now because someone helped me with my phone, and I will change it. I am a white woman. I guess I felt compelled to comment to you because you are shy? I'm going thru hell right now with someone I fell deeply in love with who kept disappearing, then coming back to love me again. Its a deep pattern and I didn't (and don't know right now) wtf is going on! He seemed like he loved me. Then at other times he's totally different. I want consistency in a person. I even told him that I have abandonment issues but he didn't change. I also get the feeling at times that he is being shy. Doesn't talk about feelings, didn't initiate kisses or casual affection much. Don't know what the hell is going on, he stole the rest of my money for this month and came inside of me, left me for pregnant. Didn't contact me back to see if I was pregnant. Fortunately I am NOT! He is an Hispanic man who fathered a child at 12. Under Mexican heritage, the girl, 12 or 13 did not have an abortion. But later, he fathered one child with one woman and then, two with another. I don't live in a third world country, I live in Austin. I don't know if I was played, if he did love me, or wtf is going on, what to think, or what to do. Emotionally, I am in shock, with periods of deep depression. I am a libra, but I'm dealing with a hardheaded aries man. WTF should I think? Would love a comment.
Freaky Foxx Just thank the good heavens above you are not pregnant to this irresponsible man and run for the hills! He is using you
Short answer: he’s just not that into you
It takes what the good Lord gave you as a man to tell her that before he leaves. Too bad he is NOT MAN ENOUGH to do it.
Do you think that women ever told us they were not interested? Lol get used to it ... it's what like being a guy is like every single day you entitled prissy dames
I was ghosted by a guy last year and I was shook! But for reason I knew it was a lesson and that he wasn't worth my time anyway because any man that makes plans to see me and tells me he's thinking of me all the time and then can disappear overnight has issues. Anyway, I took the lesson and learned from it then almost a year later I am now dating a different guy who treats me respectfully and is consistent! We have so much fun together and I am happy. Its too early to say if he's the one but I am finally dating someone who values me just as much as I value him :) Gratitude and faith are key!
Interesting story thanks. But what about many cases when for exemple i try to set a date to go out with a girl and she finds excuses and After 3 Times i tried i just forgot about her as i felt Bad and didn't want to go After someone who's not into me. AnyWay it's a différent topic
So....basically, the guy is searching for self validation and practice at the expense of another person and once he is done playing superman and using this person to boost his ego and image he falls away because he doesn't "feel" it anymore? Or that's the excuse.
Wow. Pathetic.
that is pure narcissism
only insecure freaks do this
Ur comment deserves way more likes
Kaite Marie 😂😂
This guy isn't an expert on men, a guy like me can ghost a woman and let her think negatively of me rather than I tell her exactly why I don't like her. You find things out about a woman as you go along. Would you want me to tell you that I don't see you as suitable because; you're poor at intellectual conversation, you lack goals, you have permissive values, you seem to want me as resource provider rather than as a soulmate etc etc. Women generally are crushed by clear rational and honest truth. Oh yes, all women lacking empathy deserve nothing, not even a goodbye.
It's so disturbing to see how many women have endured this. It should not be commonplace for men to get a woman hyped up into thinking they actually have a good thing together, and then just get missing. Men have been hurt, they know how this feels. And just when they've met their perfect woman, with the perfect body and the perfect hair, who later turns out to be a gold digger, they join the MGTOW movement. Really? If you stuck with the real woman you ran away from you wouldn't want to associate yourself with a bunch of miserable men who thinks all women are bitches. Mean what you say and say what you mean guys. If you know you are not emotionally ready to be with one woman, then please do us a favor and stick to one night stands. This disappearing crap is not cute and it's not funny. These are real women with real feelings you are dealing with, not robots. You wouldn't want it done to you, so don't do it to them.
Except we are doing this because you guys make us play this game. It's how it's set up nowadays. You are a fool as a man to invest in one woman at a time or any emotional value when women are out here getting 30 messages a day via social media or have simps chasing them everywhere they go. We are just a number to you guys. And only the top 5 percent of men can straight up tell women "I just wanna fuck." and they go with that.
Otherwise we have to play The Game. On top of that most men don't fit women's high standards nowadays so many get Ghosted. Simple. Math. If the average women gets 10 men to choose from (that's being modest) 9 get Ghosted or it doesn't go anywhere. That's a 90 percent rate of bitter or unhappy men going. Back into the dating pool.
After being eviscerated so many times we go player mode, stop giving a shit and just get ass by any means. You guys seem to not care about us being honest and nice when a taller, richer or cuter option arrives and ghost or flake. So why do we have to play this moral high ground nonsense? It's 2019 we're done with that.
Most women even worth that now are foreign women. Or you meet a unicorn which is 5%.
@@KazuchiX Nobody makes you play any game. You do this because you want to. You always forget that being single is always an option. If you know deep inside you are not ready to commit to a woman, then back off so a better guy can find her. Don't get her emotionally involved and disappear. That's not cool.
GIRL you better say that, you better say it !!!! i know that is right don't nobody got time for that.
lillian barnes you are right some men think all girls bitches i dont know why and why this happned what about his mother
lillian barnes amen
Lol I broke up with my ex a week ago cause he was acting so distant. He’s excuse was always that he’s so busy or too tired because of work. So, I told him that I didn’t really want to invest my time on someone who doesn’t have time for me. Let them go, ladies. Don’t waste your time on people who clearly don’t have time for you.
This happened to me about a year ago. He comletely swept me off my feet. He told me how much he loved me and that he wanted to marry me. Then suddenly, he vanished. I totally disagree with the excuse that a guy who suddenly vanishes, does this so that he doesn't hurt a woman's feelings. That sounds so rediculous! This kind of man is a complete coward and is only thinking of himself. Because, when a man does this to a woman it can be so devistating and completely break her heart. This takes a lot to heal from since there was no proper closure and it leaves the woman wondering what she did wrong. A mature man would be brave enough and considerate enough of the woman's feelings to explain to her, in the kindest way possible that he wants to move on.
+Mirella Mason The issue is the investment that women put into any interaction which is NOTHING. They don't LOOK or direct anything AT ALL yet expect the guy to do everything in the mating process, that is the problem. That is why the guy disappears or goes away. Anything that requires to much anything yet yields nothing but intangible supposed valuables will eventual cause him to lose interest. The first parts of interacting and mating is much like animals using sonar in the wild. You send out a sound to ping on an object and if you don't get a ping then there isn't anything there. Men need to feel that ping back, that reciprocity in the form of gratitude for something, that call back, that text back within a reasonable amount of time, the out of nowhere text saying hello, etc. You are not a child. invest something in the damn interaction and I guarantee this problem will go down in frequency.
+Jerome Greene yet, when the conquest is too easy, he will lose interest anyways. ..
I guess. Or is that the Masculine MEME we are indoctrinated with as we grow up as men. Now the tables are getting turned and things aren't as great when the men are exercising their options. Some of them have good reason to be this way, others just get caught up in life, work, school, etc. And others, know how messed up women have made the dating environment are actively doing this for whatever reason that drives them. The thing is how do we collectively solve this mess?
+Jerome Greene one thing you should do, brotha, is stop blaming women. any further questions, check out videos by mr. neely fuller...
Thank you kg.
I recently told a guy to delete my number from his phone b/c I knew he was playing games. I texted him & he didn't respond for 2 days. He claimed that he was busy and time got away from him. I don't expect an immediate response, but 2 days is too long. I lose interest when a guy doesn't respond in a timely manner. I started talking to him online and we only texted initially. I responded back to his text telling him that I wanted to speak to him on the phone. What a surprise (note my sarcasm): he never contacted me back. Never chase anyone. Just move on to someone that is mature enough to follow through.
He didnt respond me for a week....so i decided to block him
Same girl, once you tell him to start calling they disappear
Good for you! We don’t have time for that crap! If it’s only one sided and they take two days to respond or talk to me?! BYYEEE!
I️ disagree with some of this, some men have a push pull pattern that is learned from a neglected childhood. They have a fear of intimacy and a fear of abandonment. That’s why they pull you close...but when you become intimate they become fearful and run. They then come back because they fear abandonment. This has been studied for the past 20 years. When they say it’s them, believe them. It truly is THEM.
Taryn101 So what do you do in this case? If they did have a rough childhood without parents and a solid family, and is now pulling away when things get more serious or heated between him and girl, should the girl let him pull away and give him space? Or move on with her life, in which case he might feel she abandoned him as well? But if he’s aware that his pulling away behavior has hurt the girl, he should be trying to act right if he really cared about her.
Kiki, don't pursue, just leave, they have to handle their problems themselves, you are not obligated to help them unless you choose to, just remember though, many men and women alike use this as an excuse to hurt people directly or indirectly as well...
Kiki I would agree with NC. Going for someone with issues will hurt you at the end of the day, talking form personal experience. I wanted to be there for him and help him, but verbally attacked me because I did not want to sleep with him and thought I was judging and rejecting him. Rejection is something he had struggled with so it was a trigger for him. I dont blame myself, I just know he has a lot of issues to work on if he is even willing to work on them.
+Taryn101 yes. this definitely fits my case.. i kind of knew that he had issues ahead of time. he was trying to get together with me for months, and we were friends during that time.. i thought. we talked about so many things, we were so close, so in tune with each other,. i knew he had issues but i was falling in love with him and after a while i faced my feelings and let myself get close to him. it was beautiful and exciting and i thought maybe it could work. and that's when he vanished!! i am so confused.. we definitely had a connection, it just doesn't make sense. but then again, it does--in a very messed up way. i'm just trying to digest all this.
Angel Chevan 💯
This just happened to me within the past week. I took a day to let it sink in and feel heartbroken, but then got right over it. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Like Matt said, release those bad feelings so better things can come in. Onto bigger and better things! Thank you, Matt!! 🙂🙂
If you got over it that quickly you weren’t that interested
I ve been crying for a month now. Totally wrecked. In deep pain. I need help. Then i just stumbled on this video and it is the first night in a month that I managed to stop crying myself to sleep.This might be the start of my healing. I need to understand to be able to revive myself. Thank u for this.
Salam Al Amin
No man is worth your tears and protect your heart.
Hun, I was ghosted a year ago and was so shocked and hurt that my period didn't come! I got anemia and was catatonic. IT's not worthwhile!! Trust me! I learned good lessons. So should you. You will heal, but you have to do your work.
Montserrat Vega That's odd. What does it mean when you're period lasts way longer than it usually does? That happened to me one time. :-(
Irina Whiting it could mean a lot of things. In this case it could mean we are under a great deal of stress. Our bodies are fickle and individually unique it handles stress in all kinds of ways. High blood pressure, longer than normal period, no periods, heart palpitations, dizziness, sleeping to much or not sleeping enough...any time you have a period that is abnormal you should see a Gynocologist or your family doctor.
Salam Al Amin you can do it. I had the same situation and now he disappeared. I tried to call and text him. I thought that he really liked that much. I thought that I did something wrong. That was my fault. Now I have learned a big lesson. Thanks for this video.
Insecure man would play the disappear game but a real man wouldn't do that. I know this and it doesn't effect me at all.
True.
Darth Ur why why
If we have chemistry and you are a guy am curious about, I don't do push pull and act hard to get. I flow. Give space and take a back seat. He disappears after being hot( true story).
I honestly understand. People are dealing with childhood neglect and abandonment issues. They have to heal. They actually aren't even right for any relationship. I ain't mad at these poor dudes. Wanting them means dealing with manifestations of those issues in the current relationship. Allow people to find themselves especially if you have worked through your traumas. Because nobody will love you until you love yourself. By then it won matter. Be your healer and person. Many people are dealing with personal demons, its nothing to do with you even. If you feel hurt, it's ok. Just deal with your pain because it's speaking to you. He only brought your own issues to the surface. Give yourself a chance to not abandon yourself and return to yourself. Once you accept that everyone only gives you a gift, you really aren't bothered if they stay or not. You belong to you always.
intuitive self-love wow beautiful comment ❤️❤️❤️
intuitive self-love wow I really needed to hear this thank you for sharing this with us I agree with you so much!
Best and most true comment here
This was written in such a loving way. Thank you for teaching in love and experience.
This right here.
Being kindly told that he wants to end things is better than ghosting. Ghosting doesn't "keep things open" for the future just in case. It makes us lose all trust in that person.
Maybe he doesn't want to tell you about the wife and the kids.
hahaha
Sad but unfortunately so very true!!
Gail Taylor haha
True, most of them are hiding things
Hahahahahaahah
This explains so much to me when I look back on a relationship with a man who did this. It didn't make any sense, one week he's asking me to move in with him, the next he won't even return my calls, and a year later he wants to pick up where we left off. This kind of erratic behavior didn't leave the door open for a return, it made me change the locks!
So good for you...(!) 👏❤️
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This has happened to me twice in a row
It's very exhausting 😢
+Zebra Mackenzie me too! twice! the second time, I was like.. what! again!? And then you try to be grateful, but man.. its hard u_u
those to guys liked me when i didn't like them, but when i grew feelings and showed interest, they go away
...i thought most guys dont like playing games!
+Phillip Dawson What is a hotter girl ? A poor girl who thinks that by wraringa miniskirt and high heels she represents the perfect feminity ? Feminity is much more than that but you guys are usually too coward to seek for a real woman as they scare you too death. With them, you feel not a man anymore. And you are right,you are only young unexperienced teenagers when you think like that. These guys can run away it will more a relief then a loss.
***** you lady.. you are going places ._____.
This literally just happened to me and I was wondering what I did. We’re supposed to go out tomorrow yet he was super distant last night and I haven’t heard from him at all today. I didn’t know if I should still hit him up or not to see if we’re still on for tomorrow night. But I’m not going to now
God guys can be such assholes, just tell us you aren’t interested and be done with it.
Binal Patel amen
He may have come to realize that you weren't worth the money he would have to spend on a date with you.. Sounds like an insult but I'm being honest.
Ive been in that position. Its frustrating because its so rude and immature. I take it as a test of maturity now, and feel relieved if someone shows their colors sooner than later.
Binal Patel Vadodara??
CuttySobz it’s not her not being worth it’s him being a dumb kid
I'm not buying this whole "men would rather do anything than to make a woman cry" BS. If they know you are into them, why in the HELL do they think ghosting is kinder than truth? If their ultimate goal is to make someone happy, how can they justify doing something so low down and vile and think that this won't cause hurt? It's all about whether they respect you and your feelings, or whether they only think of themselves. It's not that they don't want to make a woman cry. It's that they don't want to be there to see it.
Joanna Payne Yeah well they're you go. That type they're just plain evil. They're not worthwhile. It's best to just move on.
YES
Because they are cowards. That’s why.
Sadly, this is so true. 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Amen!!!!
Men, do us women a favor. Don't try so hard to convince you want her when you don't even know for sure what you want. It's damaging to her no matter what age she is 20, 30, 40 or older. Just don't try so hard. If you don't try so hard to win what you DON'T even want, you'll create less negative feelings when you suddenly decide to abandon her for someone new.
Julie Anne indeed... if not sure then its better not to. coz if a woman finally ready to open that door that door to you and she started to open up then suddenly you vanished , it just shows you just play games with her.. you created her to be afraid to open up again to a much deserving one. just dont try to act like you just need replacement.
Julie Anne 🙌🙌🙌🙌
Julie Anne, hope you are with a good man!
Hi there.How are you doing Julie?
if a guy do that to you. then be that woman who is " the one that got away' for him.. he will regret this in his lifetime ..
savyash r Love it!
Amen
That's not nice
I know that's real
@@douchebagpatrol7237 lol. same goes for men. they get gray, bald, old, etc.
It just happened to me. It’s so bizarre. Texting multiple times a day, multiple dates a week, grown adult conversation and connection, then boom just silence. It has me questioning what’s wrong with me. Why would he act so interested yet disappear on me?! How can I ever trust when things are going well if I’m now afraid they can just disappear?! It sucks to feel a connection yet the person can’t even communicate. Bizarre
You screwed up somewhere big time. And he was just putting up with you all along trying to get laid but it never happened lol.
Ran out of money?
@@sunflowerslily no money involved on either end
This happened to me recently, it’s really annoying bc I was actually falling in love!!
Me too man
Me three, seriously
Me too
That is their goal. Make you fall in love and than . . Gone. Weirdo s
Me too
Texting you everyday, Dating you, calling , getting you to meet his friends then past 4 weeks in, dead silence. To weird for me after thinking you’ve been having adult conversations and just sudden dead air. Glad it was only a month is guess, cause none of it fits. A polite ending would have been less tense. So strange.
We must was dating the same guy 🤣🤣🤣
Yes sounds like my situation. Too weird for me too. Glad I can now move on but the fact that he hasn't told me "why" is annoying.
Seriously..what's with these men? I'm in the same boat. Amazing dates and amazing weekend together. Met his friends and family, insane chemistry. Texting calling all day and night long..to now im I'm going on one week w not a word from him.
Narcissistic behavior. They do it on purpose. You will never get any closure.
lisa You’ve actually describes what happened to me, even the period: it was a month. He was all over me and I wasn’t until I became into him: he disappeared
Great info. I had that happen with a guy who played games for 6yrs off and on. I finally stopped talking to him cold turkey, he called, email and texted. I blocked, deleted his number and flagged his email as spam. Best thing I ever did, 2016 started off amazing without his foolishness😂👏🏾
Vy Sharieff 🙌👍👏
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 that’s the key, men love to be ignored. The more attention you give them the farther they run for some reason. It’s better to cut ties from drama kings.
Good for you, Vy.
Vy Sharieff you go gurl❤️
Vy Sharieff gurl... 6 years on and off is crazy!!! Here's to many more years to live your life to the fullest!!!
Vanishers are cowards and immature,then they have the nerve to come back,stay like Casper and stay Gone...
This is exactly what happened to me the past 2 months . Each time I tried to contact the guy he would be so nice and keeps apologizing for disappearing, then he would go MIA again. Now I get his message, and I'm over him. Thank you so much for this video.
Meryam.D
Don't take him back when he left u and he stop talking he most likely find other woman. To hook up with and date she is gf. Than he will back to u when didn't. Work with the other woman's he make u back up plan. He will not tell u let u and stop talking to you cuz he was other woman's. He use lies and exuses saying he lost his phone be lost your number. He been busy with work he say he been sick
All that lies and bs don't fall for that bs.
Woow mine doenst even text me first but was so cute on the first date
Meryam.D
Meryam.D smart
damnnn, me too
Thank God for all the ones who 'ghosted' me. Believe me, you don't want a man of low character like that in your life. How would he handle challenges in a marriage? Not well. I'd rather be single than to be involved with someone who won't even send me a text (which is the worst way) to break up.
They disappear because they don’t even know what they want 🤦♀️
Exactly
In reality, women are not good at communicating with men. A man wants to love you and before he loves he has to love himself. So it is mostly self esteem issues/mental state/lack of emotional maturity.
we want to have sex, after this is done we realize that the sex of however long is not worth sticking around for the conversation, which most guys put the origin into. be more interesting, and there will be a reason to stay after the sex.
Yesssss
My husband disappeared..it feels like hell m dying evryday
Spot on video. From my experience he’ll ghost you because he’s (1) just not that interested, (2) looking for fun not commitment, (3) has someone else and wants to explore their options with them but keep the door open with you in the event it didn’t work out with the other chic (4) you’re not a fit for his idea of a girlfriend. Long story short..he likes you, but not that much. Ladies don’t take it personal. Just think of it as the time a really nice guy who liked you and you dated briefly BUT friend zoned him because you weren’t into him. (But difference is we’ll kindly tell a man even if it crushes him. Most men will never tell a woman because they avoid that conversation like the plague). lol🏃🏼♂️👻🤷🏻♀️
he vanished because he was a boy. not a man
Julie Bela Wamona you go after the wrong men lol. I bet they are over 6 feet tall 6 6 figure income. You don’t know to pick good men lol
Well said.. iv just had to end it after 9yrs cos he kept being a boy still hurts like crazy though
@@rawleelp Because you loved him being a bad boy, if he becomes a man and gives you what you need then it becomes persistant, his value decreases. You are attracted to the fact that you need him but he doesnt need you. It's in your biology.
@@nick421 thats true.
no he just didnt like you hahah
Sometimes, a guy will disappear, and then I assume he's not interested anymore. Then, I lose interest, and he comes back. Then, he's interested and I'm not. Then, I'm more relaxed and doing everything right because I'm not uptight anymore. That's kind of a bummer because we're out of sink.
Julie Oliphant sinc
sync
it was the same with me. When after two days "eating myself" and crucifieing myself emotionally inside on what did I do wrong , finally I gave up and said, ohh there must be enough blessing for me outside from God, than to get stuck with this, and started to let him go, and even wished him happiness with whoever he was at that time (I guessed he was trying to connect with other girls), and a few hours later he just wrote me 2 emails, and became quite active again in getting the relation right. So, i think the key is really in letting him go, because there is enough blessing outside from God. If he comes back again and again, than I think he is the one :D
That’s good then tho cause you can chill and just enjoy the experience w/o being attached to the outcome
This is kind of happening to me. He pulls away a little and then comes back. I think he wants to do something but there's something else going on that I don't know about. At this point i'll be happy if we are just friends, but he's making that very hard. @@nyekijudit6272
this just happened to me. month of a man chasing me. went on a 1st date, it was great, chemistry off the charts. he deleted his dating profile and said he wanted to exclusively date. stood me up on our 2nd date and went radio silent for days.
most emotionally damaging way to end a relationship
Ugh, I'm so sorry. I wonder if he liked the chase more? What a thing to do! I wonder if Matt has a video on "the chase"
Beatrice Arreguin apparently this guy has no stamina then lol. who chases for such a short amount of time? LOL
Andrea Tyler sorry to hear that but if you only had 1 date with him then i cant really say it was a serious relationship.
At least you got the first date...same thing happened to me except he stood me up on the FIRST date. We had been texting and talking on the phone for several weeks. The chemistry was there...physical and sexual. We made plans to meet for dinner and he messaged at 6:00 that he just had to shower and he would be there soon. I waited for 3 hours messaging and calling throughout. NO RESPONSE. I called and messaged for days even using different phone numbers (from other phone apps) and he NEVER replied. All I want is an answer ...WHY. He will NEVER get a second chance with me.
Andrea Tyler 8
If the man disappear then he disappear. The right man might appear.
Amen!!
Right it's weird
well said :)
well said :)
agree totally
My husband is the only man I dated that stayed consistently Hot. I am so glad I met him.
MizizBundy u r sooo lucky dear
+bbb bbb good question
Wait until he leaves you for a younger version! Then let's talk!
MizizBundy praise God
Damn. But why are you watching this? Lol
There are two kinds of people you will meet in your life. The ones that you will learn a lesson from and those who stay for a lifetime. Im greatful for my humbling experiences. Im stronger and know what I dont have to put up with.
I know boreding men
no one stays for a lifetime.
Good luck on finding someone who will stay around for a lifetime. If you are speaking from experience yours must be extremely limited.
My husband disappeared..m feeling like hell bcz we as a human being believes in marriages are for lifetym but in my case commitment even not Der in marriage..my dying evryday
I went through a breakup after dating for 2 years. I am much older than the majority of people who watch you, I am sure. It was devastating to say the least when he sat across from me and told me, he was breaking up. Odd thing, he couldn't say when he began not seeing a future with me. I had invested so much love and energy into the relationship and appeared we were fine then this happened. He never gave a hint of discontent. After the breakup, I did call him after 25 days to see if we could talk and he wasn't willing to discuss the past. I was able to thank him for the many things I had learned from him and about myself while together. I don't understand and probably never will since he never really identified anything specific and he wasn't willing to work with me to salvage what we had. I have turned a corner and have put myself back out in the dating scene. I have my first date next weekend. I will continue to watch your videos and glean from them knowledge. Crazy little thing called 'life'. I am hoping and believing that the ending of the past relationship happened so I can find my someone special. I am 67 years old so I don't want another heartbreak. Thank you for all you do so even the older generation can learn how relationships work. I was out of the dating scene for nearly 30 years so it's like learning all over again.
Whenever a guy does that I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, especially when they come back.
Take your power back. If he comes back, put him to the back of the queue. He can wait his turn. Seriously, a person can only take advantage if you let them. So don't allow it. Teach him how to treat you and move on to a better man.
Darling, he's Just not that into you.
Felicidad They are in to themselves.
Kathy THATS THE ANSWER.
Kathy yeah you were absolutely right!! Plain and simple.
lololol agree
that's ok, just have the balls to say it
I have known this for awhile. I don't give second chances unless he was a dam special guy. When he does the disappearing once, he will do it again.
Yeah, and all women are the same. It's a two way street honey :P
slug237711 When a guy has the smarts to see that a woman is truly into him and he treats her well, 9 times out of ten, he will be treated well. Have to be observant as to whether she is into you or not.
Tough Advice Radio Yep. We can only be who we are, it makes no sense to try to change the world just because of some of the dishonorable actions of others.
Tough Advice Radio I know I'm definitely not a gold digger. Usually, I have more money than the guys I date. It just happens that way.
Brenda B But i really wonder if he plays disappearance, what you would do if you like that guy a little bit
Matt, what about the nice guys like me? I’ve been ghosted 3 times since January and I feel gutted, half a person.
Ladies nice, honest, and genuine guys still exist. We are just eclipsed by all the bad.
I don't normally comment and I have no way to know your age. But as a 37 year old female it's happened to me many times and I have felt the same so I totally understand. But, Just remember not all women do this either. I cannot speak for anyone, but I have never nor would ever do something as disgraceful as this to anyone.
I know exactly how that feels,,,, it is one of the worst feelings to go through. I’d rather go through chemo again than to be ghosted after him moving sooooooooooo dang slow,,, and every time he does come back he’s advanced his communications with me,,, but it still hurts when he does disappear
This just happened to me.
He was into me and chasing me. Then BAM! he's gone.
+meld beach I think thats a good sign you guys weren't meant to be...at least thats what i took it as when it happened to me.
+meld beach The issue is the investment that women put into any interaction which is NOTHING. They don't LOOK or direct anything AT ALL yet expect the guy to do everything in the mating process, that is the problem. That is why the guy disappears or goes away. Anything that requires to much anything yet yields nothing but intangible supposed valuables will eventual cause him to lose interest. The first parts of interacting and mating is much like animals using sonar in the wild. You send out a sound to ping on an object and if you don't get a ping then there isn't anything there. Men need to feel that ping back, that reciprocity in the form of gratitude for something, that call back, that text back within a reasonable amount of time, the out of nowhere text saying hello, etc. You are not a child. invest something in the damn interaction and I guarantee this problem will go down in frequency.
Jerome Greene youre right. and I did this!
It worked very much.
In those 2 months alot has changed. For the better!
a little bit of effort goes very far actually.
I think that us girls like to "test" guys alot. we put them throught shit to figure outr if theyre into us. but then, if the guy doesnt get it, he might kick.
so in this particular case, I decided to just not push too much and let things flow. I gave out the hints and the message, and waited for the responce. which was more than I thought it would be!
Thanks for your insight. :)
Cool beans. You are the first female to respond back in agreement with the concept. Just hard to tell women or people in general the objective truth of how interactions go.
+Jerome Greene Are you basically saying women don't put in the effort to keep the guy? Like, we think he always has to text first instead of waiting for him to text? Or just show you're interested?
When someone leaves close that door n throw away the keys so you can move on. this coming from a guy....
Like Lovely Lana wrote below, "rejection is divine protection". So true! Amen!
I imagine a ghoster talking to himself like:
- What should we do, what should we do???
- I don't know maybe tell her that we don't want to be with her anymore?
-Nooooo definitely not !!! We don't want to disappoint her!!! Let's just vanish from the face of the earth instead!!!
- Cool, that doesn't sound disappointing AT ALL !!!
Its a lot more simple than that.. He is putting feelers out to several women at a time, and if he gets results quicker with one of the others you cease to exist. If you are the only one, he wont act that way.. Even if you were the only one, you're not anymore if he disappeared...
I think this is the best explanation
Michelle Jensen
Actually, I know a lot of men who disappear on women they're exclusively seeing and it's not because of a better option. And if they don't disappear, they still keep the woman at arm's length when it comes to commitment. Some men like companionship, but not commitment, so they stay dating one woman until she gets tired of him not committing and moves on. I knew someone who called these types of men "monogamous players."
I had an ex boyfriend just like that; very well-said!
Word of advice- if he vanished he vanished for a reason you vanish him completely outta ur life!!! It'll be hard to forget and you probably feel like shit like what did I lack that he had to go with somebody else but he doesn't deserve your time and love. enough time wasted. If any of you are heartbroken feel free to inbox me :) your not alone...
Gaga4Real hey, Lady, I am going through this situation, my guy, has pulled away from me and he won't even answer my texts, I am so missing him,
He hasn't been messaging me, for a couple of weeks ago now. I can't wait to hear from him again. I am sitting on ready to hear from him, it's not easy to not text him and ask him so have you moved on from me, so I did message him this question, again no answer from him. I am wanting to call him, directly, but something stops me, I have even sent him sexualitys, mesages, no reply back from him. thanks I am needing your thoughts on this guy. Please and thank you. ?
Your a beautiful woman not a hot chick!
Am going through the same but God ...it's soo hard ...if at all he comes back I don't even know what to do
👋hey
This hurt sucksssss
ok fine. he can realise he doesn't like me anymore but then why won't he just tell me "hey sorry I'm not interested" when I ask him to do it. instead he tells me he likes me but disappears throwing some excuses that he is sick and he can't see me. why would he waste my time lying like that?
Crazy Cat Lady And they think they used you :D
Bc they would rather have a limber chopped off before saying that.
I think he doesn't say it straight up because in this day and age women have shown themselves to be very violent, destructive, and vindictive creatures when they are or feel rejected. Its a common pattern of behavior in the dating world. From false rape accusation for not calling the next day after a one night stand to a guy that just breaks up with you, the evidence is overwhelming.
Save yourself. You see how dangerous men are ?
This sounds like the behavior of people with dismissive avoidant personality disorder. These people make up 25-30% of the dating pool, and they get recycled over and over again from running from others that close to them or being rejected for their behavior. People are attracted to them because they seem to get really excited and interested in them in the beginning, then they disappear or ghost once there’s an impacting intimate moment with someone. This initiate moment doesn’t have to be anything sexual. It could be sharing memories, kissing, holding hands, etc... anything that starts to bond them to whomever they’re dating. Then, they get a sense of fear, and this fear makes them behave in irrational ways. They will no anything to make you go away. They will refuse commitment; claim to date other people even if they’re not; put you down; grow cold or indifferent towards your feelings; say you’re just friends when you’ve been in a relationship for months; or just flat out disappear. Then, they return months or sometimes years later, claiming they love you or want you back like nothing ever happened. They will keep you on a roller coaster of on again off again or just flat out disappear with no warning. If you notice a pattern, RUN! And RUN LIKE HELL! These people are unfortunately unable to function in a normal relationship with a healthy emotionally mature person. If you suspect you are involved with a person like this, look at the rest of their life. Usually, their lives are a mess and they don’t have many friends. They treat their friends the same way. They only care about the parent (s) or people that made them have attachment issues in the first place. Men like this have mommy issues and the women have daddy issues with abandonment and neglect. I made a mistake of dealing with a man like this for 3 years. I finally left him after I got tired of making excuses for him and his weird behavior to my family and friends. They saw my sadness and disappointment, but I was too ashamed to talk about it. Then, I finally let him go for go when he ghosted on me after promising to take a trip together we planned with me. It’s sad for people like this because they are actually lonely, but you have to save your sanity first and leave no matter how hard it is.
Your mic looks like a tiny woman hanging onto your shirt!
😂😂😂😂👍
Thanks for pointing that out 😄
Hahahaha lol
Hahaa
You are sharp :)
Omg thanks! I'll delete all his pics on my phone, all the screenshots of our conversations, everything about him.. It will be hard af, but this is the right thing I should have done before.
that video is a lie. when someone suddenly ignores it just means that they dont really care about you. simple.
Totally agree. That's exactly what it means.
I just had an experience recently, online dating been talking for few weeks he used to text/call me everyday then we decided to meet he was all gentleman and all good date no issues (to my mind at least), told me how stunning I was and highly educated blabla... he drove me to my place, kissed me good night texted me straightaway how fabulous the date was... I texted back the next day he also texted the next day that he is busy at work... then puff! didnt hear from him for couple of days, So I called and left a voicemail just saying hi and whether he was OK, he texted saying he's preoccupied with some issues and with his sister's issues and that he will call me the next day... Of course he did NOT call! Men are very weird creatures!
ModelDoctor how is it now? pls this is happening to me
They really weird creatures,we should teach them
Women couldn't teach men what they want, because they don't even know what they want themselves.
There's nothing to teach either, both men and women are so messed up and confused when it comes to dating and attraction, that neither side knows their arse from their elbow.
men are weird i agree
He found someone better, do the same. The end.
No one is "better".
I'm better than nobody and ain't nobody better than me!
@@stefanieespunkt3239 better for them.
Not better. Different.
SharkSport what if that someone got a person that is trash ?
You're amazing Matthew, thank you for the video. I found the difference between a real men and a boy is through their actions.
Usually boys, they avoid uncomfortable situations/ conversations cause its easier for them to do so.
while men, are able to communicate even its uncomfortable for them, even its awkward.
But the main point is to never ask for affection. If he is ignoring you, don't try harder. Just leave when you don't get what you want.
Mmmm... after watching this I think I need to clean out my contacts and stop hanging out with some guys
The heck, you got a selection of potential boyfriends on standby?
oh my hahaha.. i actually collecting guys to chat and plan to meet at dating with them. but im still scared and lazy after what happen into all my past. 😀😀
this sounds more like a feature of emotionally immature men then, true? great talk!
I totally agree !
+Chabichoo disagree 😑
+Chabichoo i agree too
+theAbeElement I find it a little bit troubling, but I think it would show lack of emotional intelligence, not just lack of emotional maturity.
S
I had one of these, a 1,000 levels higher. He had me, (and another 5 women). He was a sociopath. It took a break up, that plunged me into the pit of darkness; to realize he was a fake, sick, person . THANK GOD !!!! It opened my eyes! I now, do not date . I’m better than, a quick play. I learned a valuable life lesson! All the pain was worth the freedom, of making the same mistake again. 😉🙌
Thank you! I recently had this happen to me. It hurt a lot but I resisted the urge to contact him and have finally moved on.
+Beryl Ojwang The issue is the investment that women put into any interaction which is NOTHING. They don't LOOK or direct anything AT ALL yet expect the guy to do everything in the mating process, that is the problem. That is why the guy disappears or goes away. Anything that requires to much anything yet yields nothing but intangible supposed valuables will eventual cause him to lose interest. The first parts of interacting and mating is much like animals using sonar in the wild. You send out a sound to ping on an object and if you don't get a ping then there isn't anything there. Men need to feel that ping back, that reciprocity in the form of gratitude for something, that call back, that text back within a reasonable amount of time, the out of nowhere text saying hello, etc. You are not a child. invest something in the damn interaction and I guarantee this problem will go down in frequency.
+Jerome Greene I'm not sure who hurt you but lashing out at me in a public forum was not cool. You don't know my situation or how deep it hurt. You assume too much without knowing what occurred. There's a reason why I had to look up guidance on how to deal with my issue, I suffered bc he didn't contact me. After multiple texts and a couple calls after a few weeks of not hearing from him I simply had to let go. And I did, and I'm healing. Please don't lash out at people you don't know on the internet.
SSSSooooo you read into my explanation of the process of dating as me lashing out at YOU? Understood, have a good life!
+Jerome Greene I think it's a problem when you reply to a woman's post and blame women for giving nothing to an interaction. Then proceed to use caps (showing emphasis but often interpreted as shouting) then using the word "damn". I was simply thanking the RUclipsr for helping me understand why the man I loved, who I drove 5 hours to see once a month simply stopped talking to me. Don't make assumptions and proceed to "teach" women about dating when you don't know someone's situation.
it hurts so muchhhh bad guys 😢
I hold the memories dearly but guess who's takes ghosting like a boss? Me. Even though it hurts I am grateful for what am learning from this experience. And no, nobody is gonna ask him where the hell he went!! 😭😭😂 I let it all slide 😂😭
Good! Ghosting is a blessing. He's giving you a pass to move on to better things. Who cares if he doesn't like you. Seriously, who cares. You shouldn't. You have too much going for you to care! Live your life and be your best self!
i love it. lol
✔✔✔😂😂😂♥️♥️♥️🤐🤐🤐
I have a simpliar answer ladies. The reason why guys do this is because they were really not that in to you from the beginning, but they tried to pretend they were. Eventually they get tired of doing this so they pull back.
Mr Sheppard Why the pretense? Mature men and women skip the game playing and save time all the way around!
Mr Sheppard ,that's it..of course.the real logic/reason behind..simple and easy to understand.thanks for your honest comment.
Mr Sheppard .hmm..I really like your answer.very straightforward.it's a good thing that you are not hypocrite like others.I believe in your comment.that's the most logical explanation.what else could it be anyway.
yep we get that! it's not having the balls to say it that's the problem not the leaving
sorry stop trying to get them off the hook. Many men are gaming 3 women at once, this is true based on there being more women than men in the world now. He starts getting into one of the woman he is gaming and then instead of telling you he is into someone else, he ghost you. When it doesn't work out with her, he comes calling you again, as if he never ghosted you. THOSE MEN ARE NARCS. women be glad they ghosted you, you got away from the narc. I had 2 brothers and several male cousins and I was tombboy. I watched many males do exactly what I said. I felt sorry for the women.
Omg! This is so true, I had this same experience and I was grateful for his Houdini move because I was able to remember the good times and move forward to allow the space in my life for the right partner, thank you
I have experienced this slow track to "discovery" with a guy several times. It was very helpful to hear it articulated so well. I think their feelings are genuine in the moment, too. Unfortunately, in the end, it feels like we have been an "experiment," and sometimes they take a couple of months to go through their process, which can be very painful if we get emotionally involved. However, if you place value on yourself, you can let go and move on. Understand that a real relationship has to be a two-way street. If you are not right for him, he is not right for you.
Savana Moore,You look gorgeous 🌷🌹,You only need a good man in your life!
Yes, emotionally immature men avoid communication. Thank you for this video. As you very wisely suggest, I will definitely try to generate optimism and gratitude... but with a dosage of reality (consequences for really bad behavior), a.k.a. tough love. I strongly believe that we need to cut out these emotionally immature (Toxic) men by not accepting them back into our lives if they happen to return (with the audacious thought that we will accept them back at all! Lol. I mean who do they think they are?!). I think it is terrible these immature men think they can just disappear and come back whenever they want... after all the turmoil they put us through. They should automatically know never to come back when they leave us like this. Not allowing these men back into our lives (not giving them a second chance) is the best way to make everyone grow the hell up... while creating the open space needed for wonderful, emotionally mature, strong men to enter
Went through this after 2 1/2 years. What you said about the emotionally immature man not being able to communicate and so he runs, is exactly what happened and I get it now. However, Mat, please explain why if the worst thing he can feel is that he will disappoint you or hurt you, how does he not know or understand that his "disappearing act" will cause you the most hurt imaginable?
Daniel McCoy
I'm really sorry you truly feel this way about women. The only thing I can say is that there are good and bad people for both men and women. Not all men are bad, and not all women are bad. I understand you have been through devastating heartbreak, but know that you deserve the best as long as you are your best self. Don't carry this pain and resentment, because it will wither away at your happiness and confidence. Be strong and fight to be happy. Once you do this, and you don't allow ANYONE to break you because of this newfound strength, you will eventually find a great woman who respects you and loves you as you deserve. I promise you she's out there. Work on being worthy of her, because you can't do that feeling the way you're feeling now. Believe in your own worth as a man, and you'll get her.
Shari Jutkowitz
Easy: out of sight, out of mind.
VenusianTruths
Your thinking is toxic
Sexist and wrong. You have issues with women to work on. That is what men do.
Play a smart game,they ignored us,we ignored them too.There's plenty of guys out there.No need to waste our time on someone who doesn't appreciate us.....
Yep
true. My ex bf of three years disappeares once in a blue moon for some days and come backs as if nothing as happened. It's been 3years now happily moved on with my life. No matter what I feel that this type of men will never change even with their present wife or gf.
truly amen
You described the 99% male population on Tinder. So easy to go “next” 🙄
100% true
Totally true
Tinder is the worst app to get a serious relationship. Its all about sex sex and sex.
Yeah...I just "dabble" in dating apps, but I don't take them seriously. I would much rather meet someone at a party or something
I met a guy that played the hot-cold game with me, so I just let him go. Then he came back to me months later apologizing and explaining to me that while he did like me A LOT, he was not in a place to commit to a long term relationship and he knew I wanted one because I was clear with him from the beginning
I am a boy! Why am i here? 🤔 btw this comment section is too informative for me! 🤗👍 i will never disappear from my future wife! 😙😚
In my experience, men who disappear without letting you know what's going on and how he's feeling... it's because he isn't the one for you. None of the guys that pulled away had good intentions, but they all came back after a long time like nothing happened, one of them made a big excuse and asking for forgiveness, I let him in my life again and after a week started to ignore me once again. What I've learned is that a man who really wants to stay with you won't make you go through these mind games. It's okay if someone needs space to think and spend time for himself, but ignoring and acting different after being sweet and caring? He knows he's pulling away at the worst way. A man that really likes you won't like you to feel hurt or rejected, no matter how much someone wants to justify this behavior I will not tolerate it. Quit being afraid of losing someone when it's not your fault and you gave your best, they can feel you're weak and that you allow them to drive you crazy. This is why you shouldn't focus on one guy while dating, you create a big obsession, he becomes a priority and to fix things you didn't ruin
Amalys Rodriguez thank you for this, I’m experiencing this now, we rarely argued he never treated me bad or nothing, Infact i never met a guy who was so open and caring, he just vanished into thin air for like 2 months🤢then randomly messages me on insta saying you left your shoes at mine come and collect them... my heart sunk to my feet because it was very out of the blue. If you was to ask me what could it be I wouldn’t be able to find an answer. All I know is that I done my best and was very loyal. In a way I felt a weight off my shoulders when he messaged me that cos he let me see his true colours. On the other hand I think about him all the time, I can’t wait for the day to look back and laugh but right now I’m still healing ❤️
The message makes sense in theory, but difficult to apply in the heat of the moment or just after realizing you’ve been ghosted. I’m going through that experience right now, and let me tell you something, the last thing I feel is gratitude. I can take myself out on great dates and show myself a good time, but when I decide to share my time with a guy and he decides to ghost me when my day is brightest, well, that’s just the ultimate disrespectful and cruel thing a person can do to another. All I think thereafter is “thank you for wasting my time,” not to mention nobody gives me back this wasted time, and the additional time wasted on coping with the confusion and mixed feelings after being ghosted. So ok, time to buckle up, erase all traces of his existence and shift into 6th gear. I’m out...peace!
I can relate to “additional time wasted on coping with the confusion and mixed feelings” . tired of feeling excited and then…..lack of action. I’m not chasing - I need to see that the man is sincere….
It happened to me twice. First guy I dated 4 years ago was a messed. He would come and go. I finally decided to move on. 2nd guy I dated after 4 years of not dating did the same thing. He was into me then all of a sudden he disappeared. I tried to reach out. He said he was so busy but would never ghosted me and that I would see him soon. It’s been a week and never heard from him. I will never reach out but if he would I’d tell him “thank you for making me happy for a short period of time and I enjoyed your company.”. I will wish him he will find the right woman for his life and wish him a good life too.
Sheila Hunter, you deserve better
Sheila You need to focus on yourself and why are men doing this too you. Stop being so darn nice! That does not work with men . Read “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov.
this just happened to me, i didn’t know that he was taking me as a rebound for his ex, and thought that he genuinely liked me, few fakes later he disappeared and started hanging out with his ex again, now he doesn’t call, doesn’t text, we don’t hang out, and that is very humiliating and i’m so upset and depressed cause i really liked him and this was my first time ever opening up for someone and giving them the chance to approach me. i’m still hurt and it’ll take time, but y’all shouldn’t blame yourselves, y’all are worth all the love and respect, don’t run after guys, the real ones will come along.
What Women need. Is a Video "TO" and "For" the Vanishers! That being honest and confronting the girl. Hurts less. Than the lies and just vanishing does to the person left in the dark! I'm not talking about a few dates. But a full on relationship. Then he Vanishes! Seen my friend go through this and it's very heartbreaking to see the person suffer from so many things left unsaid!
I had this happen to me a few years ago and I did exactly this. I wasn't made. I was grateful. I called him and left a message thanking him for the laughs, joy, songs, friendship, time, and attention. I told him I wish him the very best in his future. I really meant it. I moved on without any baggage.