I love you to the narcissist means they love being in control of you. The narcissist wants you to live your life for them. Once you decide to live your life without their control, a narcissist will try to destroy you!
I did something horrible that hurt his ego it was not cheating but it was working with his boss. It was literally the worst thing. After 10 yrs of gaslighting cheating and torment.
"I love you", "now can I have, YOUR love and complete and total adoration, YOUR obedience, YOUR hopes and dreams, YOUR happiness, YOUR honesty, YOUR life, YOUR deepest thoughts (and most importantly) fears, YOUR innocence, YOUR money, YOUR body, YOUR car etc etc.... " They don't mean it when they say they love you, they say it because they know saying it will make you unconditionally give them everything and anything they ask you for("I've said I love you so now you must give me......") It's all about power and control.
@@Kadir_1990 That is correct they want you to completely adore them, and surrender you mind, body and soul to them too you're the ultimate grade A supply if a narcissit has total power and control over you. It's all about power and control with a narcissit, they are weak and empty so need a constant supply from others to feed their hunger for power and fool themselves they really are the "god like" person they see themselves as.
@@Kadir_1990 It must be really hard for you, me and my ex were together 2 yrs, but friends before that and I completely lost my identity to him and very nearly my mind I know exactly the numb feeling your talking about it's like they replace your thoughts, feeling and emotions until you have forgotten how to be yourself or haven't they energy to remember how to be you.
@I Sanchez Yes I think had we listened to the little voice inside telling us that things were not right we would have walked away from the relationship long before it had chance to damage us. And your right there is so much conflicting information out there it is hard to make sense of what you've been through, stay safe, be strong💗💪.
Here's my experience with the narcassists I LOVE YOU,..replace it with USE,.. I use you,..I will always use you,...I'll use you forever! THATS WHAT THIER LOVE IS ALL ABOUT.
So painful just listening to this!! And to think l stayed married in this hell for 33yrs of my life!! Forgiving myself took time and today l am FREE! Thanks for all you do to help so many hurting victims!! 🙏🏽🌹❤️
Psalm 34:14-16 "Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears are open until their cry. The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth."
Agreed. Same goes for "I'm sorry". Those words mean nothing to me anymore. Show me you're sorry, don't just say it and then continue with the shitty behavior.
@@shawnmarie1912 you cannot make confessions to a man , please stop commenting on my experience , the cloud is lifting , just like the abuse is not there anymore
This video described - with amazing precision - exactly what it was like to be married with my first wife. I finally escaped via divorce. It took me a while, but I did remarry. My wife today is an absolute blessing in my life - the polar opposite to the beast that was my first wife.
I cannot believe I actually did this for 22 years. Every word has been my life . Thank you for your insightfulness. I'm finally out it's only been 3 months until I'm working through a ton of s***. Please pray for me
This was soo painful but necessary .... i needed this word for word ...had this shit in my head and she straight up spoke it...so glad im not the only one who feels that this is the real meaning and reason for "narc love" ... NAILED IT. THANK YOU.
When they tell you they love you, laugh & walk away. That makes them scared and you win! Flip everything you have the control. They can't stand it. Love yourself do what makes you happy apart from them. Never let them steal your joy and zeal for life. God is more powerful than this principality jezebel. Surround yourself with positive people. Get involved in a great Church.
I almost got physically sick listening to this truth. I’m still believing she is saying love to me. I like the comment that said, replace love with use. Thank you for that❤️ Pray for me. I almost lost and took myself out. I’m thankful for the signs that opened my eyes. Now I’m working on the strength to get out. 25 years wasted. So confused everyone. Wish me luck❤️
Among all of those you shared, I found that my wife has spent the last few years bullying me, pushing my buttons, yelling at me, just to make Me lose my temper 😭😭 So she could say that I was the abuser
This resonates so.much....I'm not stuck any more my father taught me so much with his devaluation of myself..I keep rising each time I meet someone of this narcissistic personality x
I am going through this! Something she never says to me. But because we had a heavy blow up and now she keeps texting I love you in all her messages… it feels so diss genuine and makes me so uncomfortable
I LOVE YOU for the narcissist means they won your trust, they have power to evaluate you, abuse you and cheat you, put you down to them. they can freely to do evils things
When she said, seldom said “I love you” it gave me the shudders and chills. I was struck speechless. After so much hate, the cognitive dissonance would blow my mind.
It simply means that I love everything that you do for me, and that is it. It means I love to make you feel bad about yourself, and I love to abuse, manipulate and control you. That is it. That is all.
Holy cow! only listened half way through but have to stop to shout out: excellent content! You’re so nailing it, I have the feeling you’re sitting in the head of my narcissist... really good to have it spoken out though, feels totally consistent! Man, you’re quite something 👍🏻🥰
“I love you” from a narcissist is manipulative behavior. I learned that behavior from my narcissistic parents. It was always, “we love you” I copied. Because I remembered telling my girlfriends in my younger life that, just so they would say it back to me because of my insecurities. That’s why those relationships didn’t work. I’m 63 and been no contact for over four years. Because they triangulated my two sisters and they held everything that I said or did, that they never got over, against me. I discovered that I was the scapegoat youngest of four. But I am so damn happy. The last word my dad said to me was, me and mom did way way more for you kids than you did for yours... Well, they have four kids, me and my 3 other siblings. 3 out of four had broken marriages and Alcohol consumption issues and Two out of the four smoke cigarettes. One of the four bullied her two children to drugs and suicide. And you know what? I am airport right now on my way to marry off my daughter. She has no alcohol issues, no nicotine addiction. She waited and got an engineering degree. She is marrying her love of four years. She has boundaries And my boy the same thing. Fine productive members of society. And I find myself telling my boy that I love him just so he’ll tell me he love me back. But that is going to stop. I think my boy is a narcissist though. He has the traits and he witnessed my behavior growing up that I copied from my parents. He has been out of high school for 15 years doesn’t give me the time a day. But he’s not on drugs, does not drink alcohol and doesn’t smoke cigarettes. He’s married and has one daughter a nice family a good paying occupation. But he needs to call his dad.
Have you told him you now recognize how your learned behavior caused you to treat him the same way and it breaks your heart that he had you for a role model growing up? Humble yourself. Don't demand certain responses. Leave it. It might take years for him to see that you have changed. Maybe he is going no contact or limited contact. Give him the grace to do that until he sees a big change in your behavior.
This is exactly how my wife treats me we will be out for dinner and everything seems to be good then she says something and try to get me going this is the point when I have to tell myself don’t get excited give her a blank look these videos have help me so much and help me in my recovery 🙏🙏🙏
That was excellent, Jill. Thank you so much!! That so accurately describes what I had experienced with “my” narc ex. It must have been difficult to produce this, as it would trigger so much, and it took a lot of courage and strength, I’m sure. May you now be able to ease your mind and to rest, and to be at peace. May you be able to receive the love, support and encouragement that you are so deserving of. On we go. Thanks again.
To think I suffered for five long years of being drained physically and emotionally and financially , and don,t know if I will ever get well again , or rid of this dark cloud over me and the eeggshells I walk on every second of the day , it,s frightening ... thank you for clarity
Mind blowing video Jill! Yes when they say I love you it means I own you, I control you, I claim you as my property. Get as far away from these creatures as you can!! Great video! Thank you!!
He s wanting me to say it back to him* I love you* but I won't do it. Not for over a year. I always get the silent treatment. Am looking for another place to go, he knows it! I ve told him many times that we will both be happier when I find a place to move. He texted me he s happy that I am in His life! ??? NO, it should be Our life together, but that was the 1st lie 4 years ago! We re room mates! but he still thinks I'm his intended in his mind? It s hell, not a quality of life for me at all. Living a lie again.
This is brilliant. I love your honesty. And the truth shall set you free! Everyone needs to be aware of narcissism and toxic behavior to keep safe or escape from their toxic relationship.
I absolutely love this video its a slam dunk on the pathetic narrative they sell to the victim. I've been studying this for a little over a year since going no contact. Phenomenal!!!!!!!
Like the malignant npd I recently divorced saying the words”I love you” is only a manipulation tool from his toolbox of abuse used to groom ,coercively control , corrupt ,and ultimately destroy his prey/ victims lives
Too Awesome for words! The ' third person ' confessions from the unconscious of the narcopath make for a powerful tool as you are expressing the seriousness of the matter at hand, always with a positive loving energy. Where it comes to this subject matter--- you are the grand dame; each insight really hits the nail on the head. If I don't comment, just know that I watch each and every video multiple times, and each viewing is fresh, and with nuanced understandings as if walking around a house, seeing it from different angles, and sometimes I'm simply overwhelmed ( always with joy ). Are there still any ' doubting Thomas's ' regarding the the narcopath really is as bad as they are? Keep killin" it Mrs Luv Jedi. More with you later
I like the way you spoke as if you were the narcissist. It really helped drive the message home. Great reality check! I also appreciate you contrasting healthy love with narcissistic love. It brings the light of real love front and center, which is very helpful when looking at the darkness of narcissism!🌻🌞
A GREAT video, thank you. I would add one more to your list. “I love the way I can treat you exactly like my shitty parent treated me, except now I don’t have to take it from them. I get to turn around and give it to you and have you take it. I’m now the one in the power position.”
Truly what the really mean Sometimes I would hear him say I love my children. Really it never used to feel like he love them to me. People don't treat their kids like how he treating his children.
Sick!!! But true, sick!!! I saw this in her face when I found out the game. Even when her husband committed suicide over her manipulation she still did it to me. Evil soul!!
My narc/sociopath wife used to give me Hallmark cards at least weekly in which she added her own paragraph of unimaginable love for me. This went on for years. The whole time she was doing everything she could behind my back to destroy every aspect of my life. They are truly demons disguised as humans. Finally saw the light and divorced her and went no contact. Then the smear campaign really went into high gear.
1.It's like when a bully says "time out ,man, I'm not going to hit you". And when you bring your guard down hits you smack in the face when you least expect it. 2.She is afraid that you are slipping away from her, depriving her of previous supply . She is trying the good ol' love bombing trick to still try to keep you. 3. The narc senses ample supply in you and the sense of relief that creates is what she is in love with .
Thank you for sharing this video. As a man..who has endured two years of marriage from an emotionally abusive woman, (who is by definition a covert narcissist)..it comes as no surprise that any abuse..from anyone..is crippling..and should not be tolerated. Unfortunately..most people do not speak out enough. I was one of those people..until recently..and now willing to share my own story.
Now I understand when I told my Narc ex wife that I would Never get back with her because she had no value as a woman due to the high body count from cheating. “No value” destroyed her ego.
I just and still have a hard time believing this narcissist I dealt with could be like this. So kind, and if I gave him a hard time about some of the difficulties he put me through, he would say there was nothing to forgive. He was the one who started all of it by telling me he loved me and I thought he was joking. I knew him for many months.
This hit me harder than I thought I knew. Everything you said is very much true and I am battling this now. Not only, I am a recently very awaken empath. I believe I had abilities since I was very young. I now realize my mother is a narcissist as well. Watching you and others on RUclips has helped me in so many ways. Thank you so much. Rachal
He seemed so sincere when he said the other day (after I went away again) that he loved me with every bone in his body. Then just this past weekend he became emotional when he said he loves me and that we have such an "incredibly special connection". Do they have sincere moments?
Thanks for the explanation. I always get suspicious when any man whom I don't know well interrupts my work out of the blue to say, "I love you." I am happy to report that has never happened to me while volunteering in a hospital or when working as a student in one. My first thought in that kind of situation is why couldn't they wait until I was finished whatever I was trying to get done? Every time the answer to my own question in my thinking is going to be that his goal in doing so must have been hoping for -- A narcissistic relationship with me which is sure to be filled with arbitrary drawn up schedules and schedules changed often to keep me always off beat in my steps or maybe worse. Like constant interruptions only to tell me what a loser I am too.
I was told by diagnosed NPD sufferer that " I love the way you love me" I asked what do you love about me? I was assuming their was mutual love. This answer was to also make me beleive that this was best answer I could ever expect. We were with each other 20 years plus at that point. I was curious and should not have asked. ( watching narc videos)
Wow, I have to take some deep breath to finish watching, this video is so accurate. My ex husband was my first and only boyfriend. He love bombed me so fast while we barely know each other, I know I had a crush on him, but while he told me he loved me so fast and how much I am his dreaming soulmate, I was very confused and surprised. How could you love me so deeply as you described that you don’t even know me well? That was actually a red flag. But sadly, I was raised up by a narc father, and not aware enough about the red flags. Thank you for all the awesome videos and empathy Jill, these words and education gave me power to relearn about myself. Really appreciate.
You are totally amazing. I lived this video . I'M continually blown away with your wonderful expertise of this alien species that wreaked havoc on my life.
Wow. Talk about a eye opening video. I’ve fallen madly in love with monster and didn’t even know it until 9 years later. Actually, I knew she was a narcissist, the whole time I just business to my heart.
Right before the final discard and the female narcissist ending the relationship I asked her via text message why she was still telling me that she loved me right up to the final discard. Her reply was she was saying it because she felt obligated to say it because I was saying it to her That was a fucking Gut punch to me and probably the most hurtful thing ever said to me in my life
@@AZDC99 thank you for your input Yes and then she filed false pfa and harrassment charges against me which I won both cases but it was very stressful and costly
So concisely confirming things I have far too slowly but intuitively felt or suspected over the last wholly miserable 15 years (following a first year of too-good-to-be-true 'love-bombing') which has finally resulted (2020) in the worst phase of this debacle originally called a 'marriage' where my daughter has been 'taken over' and manipulated against me in the worst kind of way... Jill @TheEnlightenedTarget I can only say this video reduced me tears as it hit so many targets and hit so many bullseyes. I only hope others currently caught in the same trap see this sooner than I did!
My narcissistic ex has turned my daughter against me also. She won’t speak to me, she won’t answer a text or email. I haven’t seen her for eight years. I don’t know where she lives, whether she’s married or not, or anything else about her life right now. Her fatherhas told so many lies, and painted me as a psycho who caused him to have an affair which broke up our marriage. My heart goes out to you, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
@@vbolton9 So very sorry to hear this. Likewise I feel for you and send my most positive thoughts and wishes. I dread to think that this situation might go on for years and possibly never be resolved, so I do hope that things get better for you an that one day (soon) the breach may be healed.
@@alsmith1749 I wish and hope the same for you. No contact with the ex is fine with me, but with a daughter it's different, as you know. May you be surrounded with a network of friends who support you in the best ways.
Wow!!! This was a powerful video. Definitely a great watch to understand what Narcissists really mean when they say they love you. I received this once during the love bombing stage from a previous narc friend and thought I really found a great friend possibly turning into a best friend but once the mask came off and I saw the narcissistic rage, I left after that. I'm glad I left after the first time I saw her rage and didn't continue the abuse. What really helped me was she use to talk to me about her boyfriend and would say he was a narcissist. After the friendship ended I thought about her calling him a narcissist and decided to do more research about narcissists and realize she had a lot of the patterns she was accusing him of. And that's when I started educating myself about this topic. I feel like I'm stronger than ever since that learning experience and never looked back.
What a beautiful woman you are. We weren't raised with a mother and at 37, with paler skin, am from a family where they all age quickly. I ve had the three lines on my forehead since 5yrs old! Just genes really. I'm now developing a line in between my brows. Seeing you looking so amazing, fresh and gorgeous makes me think I should bother less. I can't help it. Nice to see someone that's 40+and not went under the knife or needle. Inspiring. Sorry, its odd. Your beauty struck me and helped me out. Your content is always a help too. What a whirlwind finding out about this shy narcissism. Have lost the 2stone I gained so maybe my complexion seems more noticeable. VIDEO SUGGESTION- EVER CONSIDERED A LADIES FACIAL, STRESS MASSAGE AROUND EYE PULSE POINTS, WITH AFFIRMATION MUSIC IN BKROUND FOR US TO THROW ON THE FACE PACK, SHOVE OUR FEET IN A BUBBLY DISH TUB AND CHILL ALONG TO? Even showing your fave skin routine & how YOU prepare. I dunno, hair, hands, bedtime or morning routine. Or an anytime emergency pamper video for when it's a MUST for some self love after being triggered, hoovered, upset or trauma bonded? Even the dreams are nuts. I feel 50! Thanks. Caroline, Dingwall 🏴✌🏻❤️💪🏻🙏🏻
They absolutely “think” they love you, AT FIRST. When they make a promise or say they love you that’s the mood of the day and it’s subject to change tomorrow. They think they truly will give you all the things they’ve promised you in the moment but without loyalty or knowing themselves they have no true way to love or follow through
Thank you for this video and invaluable information. What you said at the 9:00 mark brought me to tears because that pinpointed my narc wife with lazer like precision! The weird thing about my narc wife is that she's only that way when she's under the influence of any type of mind altering substance, be it marijuana, xanax, lyrica/gabapentin, muscle relaxers and especially alcohol, meth and/or cocaine...and sometimes combinations of any of these pharmakeia (sorcery). It's heartbreaking, because when she's sober she's amazing, but that's few and far between. It's hard to end this relationship because we met in sobriety and I fell in love with her true self, but she consistently drinks and/or uses and that's when the demon comes out ☹ I'm on the verge of divorcing her because I have been dealing with this for years and I'm emotionally distraught and can't take any more of this madness. The worst part is we have an absolutely amazing, beautiful, spiritual, loving, kind, generous etc 7 yr old little girl that is all about family who loves us both equally.... I'm torn as to what to do anymore 😢 I Love my wife dearly when she's sober but literally hate her with every cell of my being when she's not... ugh this is pure torture from the pit of hell 😩😭 the only thing I can think of to do is to give her a final ultimatum.....?? Ugh what to do???!!! ☹☹☹
This is flabbergasted and sick how people can be !!!! Narcissistic people are truly the worst people ever!!!! Thank you very much for explaining about narcissism and you truly helped me to let my narcissistic partner go!!!!!
I watched this video two days running and I know I will go back and watch it many more times. Would have been lifechanging if I could have watched your previous videos when all the I Love You's and lies described in this video were happening in real time but disguised by ''For The Good Times'' dopamine caresses and my rose coloured glasses and not knowing or realising that there was another way of being loved by someone . You have truly beyond belief in this video helping many to become Enlightened but Targeted no more.
8 years of being blindsided,,, abused ,, strung along,,, I’m angry at myself !,, I always thought I was stronger than that ,,, but I’m human ,,and it took a while to forgive myself 🙏
as an empath i trusted her when she kissed me,made love to me,told me she love me all those times over and over and i put my soul into the relationship only to see the mask fall off and then see the devil in disguise.It was a real eye opener and i was lucky and fortunate to get the hell out of there,,,,,,and recently its been trying to get in touch with me.
As excruciating as it is to hear this I know you are correct about it all and it explains so much . Thank you for your honest guidance through some tough stuff to learn .
As a male I went through lot of stress and depression.. finally I luckily comeout of that relationship after 18 years of marriage... I can't image the pain of women particularly if they are financially dependent to a narcissistic man.. God only help them...
Once again thank you Jill I’ve got a little ways to go in washing the toxic residue away now that I’m totally disconnected from the ex wife and it’s just a process + time before I feel whole again and these help. Cheers Jill.
Love is beyond the emotional feeling of a relationship it is a choice of life style to unilaterally cherish and value your friends and family often in direct conflict with you own feelings at the moment.
I love you to the narcissist means they love being in control of you. The narcissist wants you to live your life for them. Once you decide to live your life without their control, a narcissist will try to destroy you!
You hit the nail on the head.
I did something horrible that hurt his ego it was not cheating but it was working with his boss. It was literally the worst thing. After 10 yrs of gaslighting cheating and torment.
Yes!! They do!!
💯🎯👏👍
Real demons they are sick mentally
"I love you", "now can I have, YOUR love and complete and total adoration, YOUR obedience, YOUR hopes and dreams, YOUR happiness, YOUR honesty, YOUR life, YOUR deepest thoughts (and most importantly) fears, YOUR innocence, YOUR money, YOUR body, YOUR car etc etc.... " They don't mean it when they say they love you, they say it because they know saying it will make you unconditionally give them everything and anything they ask you for("I've said I love you so now you must give me......") It's all about power and control.
@@Kadir_1990 That is correct they want you to completely adore them, and surrender you mind, body and soul to them too you're the ultimate grade A supply if a narcissit has total power and control over you. It's all about power and control with a narcissit, they are weak and empty so need a constant supply from others to feed their hunger for power and fool themselves they really are the "god like" person they see themselves as.
@@Kadir_1990 It must be really hard for you, me and my ex were together 2 yrs, but friends before that and I completely lost my identity to him and very nearly my mind I know exactly the numb feeling your talking about it's like they replace your thoughts, feeling and emotions until you have forgotten how to be yourself or haven't they energy to remember how to be you.
EXACTLY‼️ 💯
@I Sanchez Yes I think had we listened to the little voice inside telling us that things were not right we would have walked away from the relationship long before it had chance to damage us. And your right there is so much conflicting information out there it is hard to make sense of what you've been through, stay safe, be strong💗💪.
The Cat got more love than i ever got.
i have said for years....i have no doubt that my husband loves me...but he loves me for what i can do for him. he also loves that i am his doormat.
hopefully soon to be ex husband
same here-i was her doormat for years--No More--im OUT.
Here's my experience with the narcassists I LOVE YOU,..replace it with USE,.. I use you,..I will always use you,...I'll use you forever! THATS WHAT THIER LOVE IS ALL ABOUT.
So painful just listening to this!!
And to think l stayed married in this hell for 33yrs of my life!! Forgiving myself took time and today l am FREE! Thanks for all you do to help so many hurting victims!! 🙏🏽🌹❤️
Psalm 34:14-16
"Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears are open until their cry. The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth."
Love is an action. I used to say it and enjoy hearing it. But now, the phrase turns me off completely, even from good people. Love is an action.
Agreed. Same goes for "I'm sorry". Those words mean nothing to me anymore. Show me you're sorry, don't just say it and then continue with the shitty behavior.
EXACTLY!! Which I show him so much but I feel he did not love me the same way! I will heal from this. It hurts like hell
Great point
A narcs "love" is the opposite of God's love. They're demons!
Yep !!!
That is the absolute truth
I,m struggling with a demonic cloud over me left by my narc other half , its really life threatening to say the least !
Spot on!
@@shawnmarie1912 you cannot make confessions to a man , please stop commenting on my experience , the cloud is lifting , just like the abuse is not there anymore
This video described - with amazing precision - exactly what it was like to be married with my first wife. I finally escaped via divorce. It took me a while, but I did remarry. My wife today is an absolute blessing in my life - the polar opposite to the beast that was my first wife.
👍👍❤️
That brings Hope ❤️
Awesome my man. Protect her, a wife like you said is eternal. 😊😊😊😃😃😃👏👏👏👏👍👍👍👍
I cannot believe I actually did this for 22 years. Every word has been my life . Thank you for your insightfulness. I'm finally out it's only been 3 months until I'm working through a ton of s***. Please pray for me
Try 56 years.
This gives me chills to hear.
I agree. It's awful how evil it is....😑😑😑
Janet Planet,hope you are not with a narc 🙄! cause you are too precious 🌹🌹🥀🌺!
This was soo painful but necessary .... i needed this word for word ...had this shit in my head and she straight up spoke it...so glad im not the only one who feels that this is the real meaning and reason for "narc love" ... NAILED IT. THANK YOU.
I spent 8 painful years being devalued,, abused ,, and confused !,,, I’m free from that bottom feeder ,,, hallelujah 👍🙏🕊🕊🕊🕊
When they tell you they love you, laugh & walk away. That makes them scared and you win! Flip everything you have the control. They can't stand it. Love yourself do what makes you happy apart from them. Never let them steal your joy and zeal for life. God is more powerful than this principality jezebel. Surround yourself with positive people.
Get involved in a great Church.
Empath love=unconditional and Narc love=conditional
I almost got physically sick listening to this truth. I’m still believing she is saying love to me. I like the comment that said, replace love with use. Thank you for that❤️
Pray for me. I almost lost and took myself out. I’m thankful for the signs that opened my eyes. Now I’m working on the strength to get out. 25 years wasted. So confused everyone. Wish me luck❤️
LOVE for a narcissist stands for: Lier, Oppressive, Vindictive, Egregious.
They love that the victim is a source of entertainment
Among all of those you shared, I found that my wife has spent the last few years bullying me, pushing my buttons, yelling at me, just to make Me lose my temper 😭😭
So she could say that I was the abuser
So insightful. My narc mother is trying to hoover me by sending msgs saying 'I love you.' This vid couldn't be more timely. Thank you Jill!
Hugs and kisses from above 🙏 KEEP ON SMILING 😊
This resonates so.much....I'm not stuck any more my father taught me so much with his devaluation of myself..I keep rising each time I meet someone of this narcissistic personality x
I am going through this! Something she never says to me. But because we had a heavy blow up and now she keeps texting I love you in all her messages… it feels so diss genuine and makes me so uncomfortable
I LOVE YOU for the narcissist means they won your trust, they have power to evaluate you, abuse you and cheat you, put you down to them. they can freely to do evils things
For the narcs I love you mean I am your master and you are my slave
When she said, seldom said “I love you” it gave me the shudders and chills. I was struck speechless. After so much hate, the cognitive dissonance would blow my mind.
It simply means that I love everything that you do for me, and that is it. It means I love to make you feel bad about yourself, and I love to abuse, manipulate and control you. That is it. That is all.
Holy cow! only listened half way through but have to stop to shout out: excellent content! You’re so nailing it, I have the feeling you’re sitting in the head of my narcissist... really good to have it spoken out though, feels totally consistent! Man, you’re quite something 👍🏻🥰
Jill is amazing she has no ide how this has helped me.
“I love you” from a narcissist is manipulative behavior.
I learned that behavior from my narcissistic parents. It was always, “we love you” I copied.
Because I remembered telling my girlfriends in my younger life that, just so they would say it back to me because of my insecurities. That’s why those relationships didn’t work.
I’m 63 and been no contact for over four years.
Because they triangulated my two sisters and they held everything that I said or did, that they never got over, against me.
I discovered that I was the scapegoat youngest of four.
But I am so damn happy. The last word my dad said to me was, me and mom did way way more for you kids than you did for yours... Well, they have four kids, me and my 3 other siblings. 3 out of four had broken marriages and Alcohol consumption issues and Two out of the four smoke cigarettes. One of the four bullied her two children to drugs and suicide.
And you know what? I am airport right now on my way to marry off my daughter. She has no alcohol issues, no nicotine addiction. She waited and got an engineering degree. She is marrying her love of four years. She has boundaries And my boy the same thing. Fine productive members of society.
And I find myself telling my boy that I love him just so he’ll tell me he love me back. But that is going to stop.
I think my boy is a narcissist though.
He has the traits and he witnessed my behavior growing up that I copied from my parents.
He has been out of high school for 15 years doesn’t give me the time a day. But he’s not on drugs, does not drink alcohol and doesn’t smoke cigarettes. He’s married and has one daughter a nice family a good paying occupation. But he needs to call his dad.
Have you told him you now recognize how your learned behavior caused you to treat him the same way and it breaks your heart that he had you for a role model growing up? Humble yourself. Don't demand certain responses. Leave it. It might take years for him to see that you have changed. Maybe he is going no contact or limited contact. Give him the grace to do that until he sees a big change in your behavior.
Thank you for this. So validating.
What does it mean you should do??? Run a freaking mile in any direction! Just save your life and your sanity and GO!!!!!
This is exactly how my wife treats me we will be out for dinner and everything seems to be good then she says something and try to get me going this is the point when I have to tell myself don’t get excited give her a blank look these videos have help me so much and help me in my recovery 🙏🙏🙏
That was excellent, Jill. Thank you so much!! That so accurately describes what I had experienced with “my” narc ex. It must have been difficult to produce this, as it would trigger so much, and it took a lot of courage and strength, I’m sure. May you now be able to ease your mind and to rest, and to be at peace. May you be able to receive the love, support and encouragement that you are so deserving of. On we go. Thanks again.
Wow, very poignant information and all compacted in such a short video, I'll have to re-watch it! You nailed it again! 💖
To think I suffered for five long years of being drained physically and emotionally and financially , and don,t know if I will ever get well again , or rid of this dark cloud over me and the eeggshells I walk on every second of the day , it,s frightening ... thank you for clarity
Wow! This is 💯 percent right. This is exactly what I'm going through.
They don't know how to love anyone but themselves!
Diana Dibblee,you are too gorgeous 🌷🌷 🌹🌹🌺 to be with a narc 🙄!
Mind blowing video Jill! Yes when they say I love you it means I own you, I control you, I claim you as my property. Get as far away from these creatures as you can!!
Great video! Thank you!!
He s wanting me to say it back to him* I love you* but I won't do it. Not for over a year. I always get the silent treatment. Am looking for another place to go, he knows it! I ve told him many times that we will both be happier when I find a place to move. He texted me he s happy that I am in His life! ??? NO, it should be Our life together, but that was the 1st lie 4 years ago! We re room mates! but he still thinks I'm his intended in his mind? It s hell, not a quality of life for me at all. Living a lie again.
This was a powerful, true message. It's sad to finally realize how evil these demons are.
This is brilliant. I love your honesty. And the truth shall set you free! Everyone needs to be aware of narcissism and toxic behavior to keep safe or escape from their toxic relationship.
I absolutely love this video its a slam dunk on the pathetic narrative they sell to the victim. I've been studying this for a little over a year since going no contact. Phenomenal!!!!!!!
Like the malignant npd I recently divorced saying the words”I love you” is only a manipulation tool from his toolbox of abuse used to groom ,coercively control , corrupt ,and ultimately destroy his prey/ victims lives
Too Awesome for words! The ' third person ' confessions from the unconscious of the narcopath make for a powerful tool as you are expressing the seriousness of the matter at hand, always with a positive loving energy. Where it comes to this subject matter--- you are the grand dame; each insight really hits the nail on the head. If I don't comment, just know that I watch each and every video multiple times, and each viewing is fresh, and with nuanced understandings as if walking around a house, seeing it from different angles, and sometimes I'm simply overwhelmed ( always with joy ). Are there still any ' doubting Thomas's ' regarding the the narcopath really is as bad as they are? Keep killin" it Mrs
Luv Jedi. More with you later
I like the way you spoke as if you were the narcissist. It really helped drive the message home. Great reality check! I also appreciate you contrasting healthy love with narcissistic love. It brings the light of real love front and center, which is very helpful when looking at the darkness of narcissism!🌻🌞
A GREAT video, thank you. I would add one more to your list. “I love the way I can treat you exactly like my shitty parent treated me, except now I don’t have to take it from them. I get to turn around and give it to you and have you take it. I’m now the one in the power position.”
The force and power of this rundown is remarkable.
Jill you are a breath of fresh air. No one else is doing parental ailenation on the other channels. You are hitting all the subcategories. Thank you!
Wow! You really layed it all out so well! They treat people like tools.
You are the beacon of light at the end of a long dark tunnel
Truly what the really mean Sometimes I would hear him say I love my children. Really it never used to feel like he love them to me. People don't treat their kids like how he treating his children.
Sick!!! But true, sick!!! I saw this in her face when I found out the game. Even when her husband committed suicide over her manipulation she still did it to me. Evil soul!!
Wow beyond Evil
My narc/sociopath wife used to give me Hallmark cards at least weekly in which she added her own paragraph of unimaginable love for me. This went on for years. The whole time she was doing everything she could behind my back to destroy every aspect of my life. They are truly demons disguised as humans. Finally saw the light and divorced her and went no contact. Then the smear campaign really went into high gear.
1.It's like when a bully says "time out ,man, I'm not going to hit you". And when you bring your guard down hits you smack in the face when you least expect it.
2.She is afraid that you are slipping away from her, depriving her of previous supply . She is trying the good ol' love bombing trick to still try to keep you.
3. The narc senses ample supply in you and the sense of relief that creates is what she is in love with .
The disheartening truth, knowing I've been played. The truth hurts, I have answer's now. Every one should see this, Thank You:)
BOOM! Brilliant, thank you.
Wow!such wisdom thank you so much all so very true I have them all around me so hard at times x
Damn that's cold. That's total psychopathic!
Thank you for sharing this video.
As a man..who has endured two years of marriage from an emotionally abusive woman, (who is by definition a covert narcissist)..it comes as no surprise that any abuse..from anyone..is crippling..and should not be tolerated. Unfortunately..most people do not speak out enough. I was one of those people..until recently..and now willing to share my own story.
Took me many years to learn what was happening to me . Thank God the alarm in my head went off. I have learn alot from you. Very thankful😚
Pure evil they are. 😡
Very informative and insightful. Thank you.
Now I understand when I told my Narc ex wife that I would Never get back with her because she had no value as a woman due to the high body count from cheating. “No value” destroyed her ego.
Wow...i don't think i ever want yo hear I Love You ever again. Especially From A Narc
I just and still have a hard time believing this narcissist I dealt with could be like this. So kind, and if I gave him a hard time about some of the difficulties he put me through, he would say there was nothing to forgive. He was the one who started all of it by telling me he loved me and I thought he was joking. I knew him for many months.
Amazing! Nailed it again!
This hit me harder than I thought I knew. Everything you said is very much true and I am battling this now. Not only, I am a recently very awaken empath. I believe I had abilities since I was very young. I now realize my mother is a narcissist as well. Watching you and others on RUclips has helped me in so many ways. Thank you so much.
Rachal
He seemed so sincere when he said the other day (after I went away again) that he loved me with every bone in his body. Then just this past weekend he became emotional when he said he loves me and that we have such an "incredibly special connection". Do they have sincere moments?
I believe so
Wow! This is my "parents" and "brother" im going no contact this time for good! Thank you
Wow! I’m going to have to watch it again.
You are the best! Thank you! for your message of keeping the heart free from toxicity.
Thanks for the explanation. I always get suspicious when any man whom I don't know well interrupts my work out of the blue to say, "I love you." I am happy to report that has never happened to me while volunteering in a hospital or when working as a student in one. My first thought in that kind of situation is why couldn't they wait until I was finished whatever I was trying to get done? Every time the answer to my own question in my thinking is going to be that his goal in doing so must have been hoping for -- A narcissistic relationship with me which is sure to be filled with arbitrary drawn up schedules and schedules changed often to keep me always off beat in my steps or maybe worse. Like constant interruptions only to tell me what a loser I am too.
I was told by diagnosed NPD sufferer that " I love the way you love me"
I asked what do you love about me?
I was assuming their was mutual love.
This answer was to also make me beleive that this was best answer I could ever expect. We were with each other 20 years plus at that point.
I was curious and should not have asked. ( watching narc videos)
Is this my ex you are referring to. Exactly the same words ‘I love the way you love me’
Wow, I have to take some deep breath to finish watching, this video is so accurate. My ex husband was my first and only boyfriend. He love bombed me so fast while we barely know each other, I know I had a crush on him, but while he told me he loved me so fast and how much I am his dreaming soulmate, I was very confused and surprised. How could you love me so deeply as you described that you don’t even know me well? That was actually a red flag. But sadly, I was raised up by a narc father, and not aware enough about the red flags. Thank you for all the awesome videos and empathy Jill, these words and education gave me power to relearn about myself. Really appreciate.
OMG!!! talk about putting things in to proper perspective, That was AWESOME Thank U!!!
You are totally amazing. I lived this video . I'M continually blown away with your wonderful expertise of this alien species that wreaked havoc on my life.
Wow, now this is something we need to hear, over and over
Oh my God! You ripped the narcissists inside out! Great translation!
Wow. Talk about a eye opening video. I’ve fallen madly in love with monster and didn’t even know it until 9 years later. Actually, I knew she was a narcissist, the whole time I just business to my heart.
Right before the final discard and the female narcissist ending the relationship I asked her via text message why she was still telling me that she loved me right up to the final discard. Her reply was she was saying it because she felt obligated to say it because I was saying it to her
That was a fucking Gut punch to me and probably the most hurtful thing ever said to me in my life
I'm sorry you had to experience that. What a lousy piece of work she was
@@AZDC99 thank you for your input
Yes and then she filed false pfa and harrassment charges against me which I won both cases but it was very stressful and costly
So painful to listen to, I could actually hear my husband’s voice and see his evil smirk.
Thank you for this video, as painful as it was I needed it🥰
Thank you Jill for reminding me what I went thru and the mask she had on. Huggs
They mean it the way,(I will mock you)(use you)and destroy you,because they only love themselves and they will use you as a tool to do it.
So concisely confirming things I have far too slowly but intuitively felt or suspected over the last wholly miserable 15 years (following a first year of too-good-to-be-true 'love-bombing') which has finally resulted (2020) in the worst phase of this debacle originally called a 'marriage' where my daughter has been 'taken over' and manipulated against me in the worst kind of way... Jill @TheEnlightenedTarget I can only say this video reduced me tears as it hit so many targets and hit so many bullseyes. I only hope others currently caught in the same trap see this sooner than I did!
My narcissistic ex has turned my daughter against me also. She won’t speak to me, she won’t answer a text or email. I haven’t seen her for eight years. I don’t know where she lives, whether she’s married or not, or anything else about her life right now. Her fatherhas told so many lies, and painted me as a psycho who caused him to have an affair which broke up our marriage. My heart goes out to you, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
@@vbolton9 So very sorry to hear this. Likewise I feel for you and send my most positive thoughts and wishes. I dread to think that this situation might go on for years and possibly never be resolved, so I do hope that things get better for you an that one day (soon) the breach may be healed.
@@alsmith1749 I wish and hope the same for you. No contact with the ex is fine with me, but with a daughter it's different, as you know. May you be surrounded with a network of friends who support you in the best ways.
I always had to say I love you in order to hear it back. My ex Narc knew he couldn’t love in its truest definition.
Kathy Hawelu,You deserve better
Wow!!! This was a powerful video. Definitely a great watch to understand what Narcissists really mean when they say they love you. I received this once during the love bombing stage from a previous narc friend and thought I really found a great friend possibly turning into a best friend but once the mask came off and I saw the narcissistic rage, I left after that. I'm glad I left after the first time I saw her rage and didn't continue the abuse. What really helped me was she use to talk to me about her boyfriend and would say he was a narcissist. After the friendship ended I thought about her calling him a narcissist and decided to do more research about narcissists and realize she had a lot of the patterns she was accusing him of. And that's when I started educating myself about this topic. I feel like I'm stronger than ever since that learning experience and never looked back.
What a beautiful woman you are. We weren't raised with a mother and at 37, with paler skin, am from a family where they all age quickly. I ve had the three lines on my forehead since 5yrs old! Just genes really. I'm now developing a line in between my brows. Seeing you looking so amazing, fresh and gorgeous makes me think I should bother less. I can't help it. Nice to see someone that's 40+and not went under the knife or needle. Inspiring. Sorry, its odd. Your beauty struck me and helped me out. Your content is always a help too. What a whirlwind finding out about this shy narcissism. Have lost the 2stone I gained so maybe my complexion seems more noticeable. VIDEO SUGGESTION- EVER CONSIDERED A LADIES FACIAL, STRESS MASSAGE AROUND EYE PULSE POINTS, WITH AFFIRMATION MUSIC IN BKROUND FOR US TO THROW ON THE FACE PACK, SHOVE OUR FEET IN A BUBBLY DISH TUB AND CHILL ALONG TO? Even showing your fave skin routine & how YOU prepare. I dunno, hair, hands, bedtime or morning routine. Or an anytime emergency pamper video for when it's a MUST for some self love after being triggered, hoovered, upset or trauma bonded? Even the dreams are nuts. I feel 50! Thanks. Caroline, Dingwall 🏴✌🏻❤️💪🏻🙏🏻
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All I can say I Wow. I can’t believe how many of these fit my situation at home 😔
They absolutely “think” they love you, AT FIRST. When they make a promise or say they love you that’s the mood of the day and it’s subject to change tomorrow. They think they truly will give you all the things they’ve promised you in the moment but without loyalty or knowing themselves they have no true way to love or follow through
Thank you for this video and invaluable information. What you said at the 9:00 mark brought me to tears because that pinpointed my narc wife with lazer like precision! The weird thing about my narc wife is that she's only that way when she's under the influence of any type of mind altering substance, be it marijuana, xanax, lyrica/gabapentin, muscle relaxers and especially alcohol, meth and/or cocaine...and sometimes combinations of any of these pharmakeia (sorcery). It's heartbreaking, because when she's sober she's amazing, but that's few and far between. It's hard to end this relationship because we met in sobriety and I fell in love with her true self, but she consistently drinks and/or uses and that's when the demon comes out ☹ I'm on the verge of divorcing her because I have been dealing with this for years and I'm emotionally distraught and can't take any more of this madness. The worst part is we have an absolutely amazing, beautiful, spiritual, loving, kind, generous etc 7 yr old little girl that is all about family who loves us both equally.... I'm torn as to what to do anymore 😢 I Love my wife dearly when she's sober but literally hate her with every cell of my being when she's not... ugh this is pure torture from the pit of hell 😩😭 the only thing I can think of to do is to give her a final ultimatum.....?? Ugh what to do???!!! ☹☹☹
This is flabbergasted and sick how people can be !!!! Narcissistic people are truly the worst people ever!!!! Thank you very much for explaining about narcissism and you truly helped me to let my narcissistic partner go!!!!!
Thank you very much from bottom of my heart ♥️
I watched this video two days running and I know I will go back and watch it many more times.
Would have been lifechanging if I could have watched your previous videos when all the I Love You's and lies described in this video were happening in real time but disguised by ''For The Good Times'' dopamine caresses and my rose coloured glasses and not knowing or realising that there was another way of being loved by someone .
You have truly beyond belief in this video helping many to become Enlightened but Targeted no more.
Every point described my ex Narc !!!
thank you for this Jill ❤️😊🙏
That was a perfect 7 reason definition of a narcissist form of I love you. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Great description of Love from the narcissist !
Jill, this is amazing, you've spoken straight to my heart and mind. Thank you.
8 years of being blindsided,,, abused ,, strung along,,, I’m angry at myself !,, I always thought I was stronger than that ,,, but I’m human ,,and it took a while to forgive myself 🙏
as an empath i trusted her when she kissed me,made love to me,told me she love me all those times over and over and i put my soul into the relationship only to see the mask fall off and then see the devil in disguise.It was a real eye opener and i was lucky and fortunate to get the hell out of there,,,,,,and recently its been trying to get in touch with me.
Love this!
Tania M,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!
😳😳😳 thank you 🙏🏼 I which I have / had your clear sight.... things take time ❤️
Tina Bendz,hope you are not with a narc 🙄 cause you are too precious 🌹🌹🌷!
As excruciating as it is to hear this I know you are correct about it all and it explains so much . Thank you for your honest guidance through some tough stuff to learn .
As a male I went through lot of stress and depression.. finally I luckily comeout of that relationship after 18 years of marriage... I can't image the pain of women particularly if they are financially dependent to a narcissistic man.. God only help them...
Love your channel! Keep shining your light out there 🌟
Once again thank you Jill I’ve got a little ways to go in washing the toxic residue away now that I’m totally disconnected from the ex wife and it’s just a process + time before I feel whole again and these help.
Cheers Jill.
Love is beyond the emotional feeling of a relationship it is a choice of life style to unilaterally cherish and value your friends and family often in direct conflict with you own feelings at the moment.
Thank you so much for your clarity, You helped me alot, thank you