Dealing with Trauma
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- #overcomingtrauma #lightattheendofthetunnel #talkingtherapy #gratitude
This week I took myself away to sit in some peace and quiet and chat with you all about trauma and how we’ve overcome our particular challenges as a family.
I talk about the lowest parts of my life, what I said to myself at the time, and how I believe sharing is incredibly helpful and so important to comfort others who may be going through the same thing.
I touch on my past and my story, how we left the situation, how we relied on the kindness of others, and how we came out the other side.
There were so many times I wished that I had had someone to hold my hand and tell me that everything would be okay, so I hope that by sharing this story, I can show that everybody can get to a place where things are better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you can make positive changes and live a positive life.
Love, Charlie x
Featuring:
Nobody Is Broken by Lucinda Gordon-Lennox
www.audible.co...
Better Help - www.betterhelp...
Samaritans - www.samaritans...
Katherine Finn - www.kfhypnothe...
My 2024 Ask Charlie Diaries have just launched and are now available for Pre-order - find out more by clicking below!
www.askcharlie...
www.askcharlie...
Visit my Online School for more information on my upcoming Dinner Party Course: ask-charlie.te...
Join my member’s club for exclusive content and so much more
www.askcharlie...
Let’s be social:
Facebook
/ askcharlie.how
Instagram
/ askcharliehow
Tiktok
www.tiktok.com...
Shop Amazon with Ask Charlie - inspired favourites here
www.amazon.co....
Wow Charlie, I had no idea and it’s just clear that the work you have done on yourself to evolve from being that child in that environment and blossom into this marvellous mother hen that you are for your family, and for many of us just shows such a fantastic growth story and thanks for sharing it.
I’ve had some awful things take place in my childhood, and perhaps nothing compared to others, but to me who went through those things they were awful and I escaped by moving to Europe to work summers and then later, I’ve moved to the other side of the world - Australia.
Charlie brave to share 💗
I had a privileged childhood. From the outside it appeared idyllic perhaps.
From a very young age I suffered from the abuse of my Mums mental health. She suffered greatly as a child and I do not blame her but I felt very isolated and still affected to date yet I believe what I suffered has made me a most compassionate person and I work on myself every day. I have followed you for about two years. You are my inspiration and I am full of admiration of how you use your gift to connect. Keep shining your beautiful light 💜💜💜💜
Thank you so much for sharing this, it can be hard working though the past but the feeling of freedom and peace is so worth it xxxx
You are indeed helping others... and I feel that it might be just the beginning. Thank you.
Thank you so much 😊 I hope so
Thank you for sharing with us, Charlie. Your willingness to tell about this part of your life is helpful to so many, myself included. The heart is a fragile thing, yet it is strong, as well. Sending you lots of love and hugs. xx
❤ so strong and we can heal and move forward xxx
I live in Frankfurt, Germany Charlie and watched your video on you cleaning your aga first. Then RUclips put this video up for me. You are a very brave person. To recognise and deal with psychological damage is hard enough. To discuss it in public, in order to try and help others suffering from similar trauma, is worthy of praise. Time heals and one learns from difficult life episodes. It makes us more robust. You are strong. Very best regards, John
Thank you John, I feel it’s important to be honest and share
I accidentally discovered your channel through another video and then accidentally clicked on this one as well. I can relate a lot. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Sorry that you can relate xxx
I'm a survivor of trauma too and it's not easy to talk about as openly as you have done. So many things can cause triggers. It's so brave of you to be so open on such a private situation. Thank for for your honesty and for sharing x
Thank you Alison I really hope me talking about this will help others xxx
Oh I too cried with you darling Charlie. I too have a ‘story’ which, at 56 gave me a lifeline to enable me to finally step onto the path of ‘growing up’, and becoming responsible for myself. Im now 74 and it was a long and arduous road but I got there. It’s never too late to accept help - wherever it is offered. The trick is to recognise (or find) the offers of help and to decide to actually make the changes necessary, whether physical, emotional or both. It’s hard and often debilitating but the old ‘ one step forward and two steps back’ works because once you step out of your comfort zone and learn/ decide to think differently about things, you never actually step right back inside that zone. You become more and more brave until it becomes the norm, and that’s when you realise how free you are! Too much to say here but thank you for sharing - what can I say … you are such a lovely girl and I wish I could give you a hug but here’ a virtual one! Xxx
You are so wonderful Mary-Jill 🥰 the feeling of freedom is incredible isn’t it! I never realised life could be like this xxx
💕💕
Than you Charlie. You are brave to talk about this ❤
Thank you, it felt the right time to talk about it xxx
This is such a complicated life, always has been, meant to be I think, or else how would we learn anything - chaos lurks around every corner. Living with a mentally ill parent is the worst, you watch someone you love struggle with even the simplest of everyday actions. Chaos reigns - you are in a living hell - you are young - you have no power to bring order and relief to someone else's life - so you live through (you never 'get over') the chaos. You are a very brave and extremely generous woman sharing your story Charlie - thank you. I try everyday to live my life in peace and order - not perfect order, that's just weird - but there is so much to be said for predictable routines and your family knowing they can rely on you to help whenever order and peace are threatened.
Nothing like a routine as a guideline. It’s a very complex world and life. I just hope we all feel easier to be open and honest xxx
Charlie, I have only just watched this one of your videos and was taken aback by how similar our stories are in nearly every way. I felt compelled to comment after what you said about having "a few lost years", early twenties were every much that - despite passing my GCSEs and A Levels I also lost my way and couldn't cope. It it is really hard to explain the dynamic, the emotion and how it feels. I still see people who caused my huge trauma and hurt when i was younger because it is hard to stop caring for someone even after it all. But hearing what you have said has helped me feel less alone, and what is more, and you will forgive me for saying this i hope, hearing someone else who is "well spoken", came from a "privileged" childhood etc. talk about trauma has helped me feel like I am allowed to acknowledge what I went through and that this does not just happen to those less materially/financially fortunate as children/young adults. Thank you for this
Oh Charlie. You have done brilliantly to keep persuing life with such optimism and hope. You are fantastic. X
Thank you so much Lucy xxx
Thankyou for sharing Charlie,
Sending you love 💛xxx
Huge love to you Katie xxx
Thank you for sharing this Charlie xxxx
🥰
Very brave to share all this!Going through it all has made you who you are today! -a very kind,compassionate lady,who is definitely doing her best to give her own children the most wonderful upbringing full of excellent education (and more importantly SEEING when the children aren't happy at certain schools and taking action) amazing experiences and the chance to enjoy their chosen hobbies!I call you Lady,because that's what you absolutely are!
I had tears in my eyes listening to your story and seeing how it affected you, thank you so much for sharing it,much admiration!!lots of love from Belgium xxxx
Thank you so very much Rachel, so kind of you and i know it might sound odd but because of the past I can understand and truly appreciate life xxxx
Thank you for sharing your story Charlie. I was raised in a privileged but dysfunctional environment and I really resonated with what you have said. I’m going to purchase this book today. I am very passionate about trying to deal with the trauma I experienced through my childhood and not letting it affect how I mother my own child. Your honest account of your growth has really helped spur me on to continue to try and heal and not just bury it. Thank you always for the time you put into your vlogs x
It’s a fabulous book Charlotte and I really hope you find it helpful xxx
I always love listening to your vlogs. This one was amazing. Thank you for sharing your experiences. So much I could say, you most definitely have helped people by producing this vlog. You are a strong brave lady.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your message xxx
Thank you Charlie, for sharing your childhood/adolescent experiences with us. You brought back some fairly confronting memories of my own childhood with a controlling, abusive mother and a detached father. It was one of those outwardly prosperous, privileged lifestyles of holiday homes, pony clubs, racehorses, yacht clubs and the like whilst behind closed doors it could be a scary place to live.
I benefited from listening to you so much.
I think my mother became inwardly resentful of others fulfilling their dreams when at the age of seventeen, she became the primary carer for her dying mother. All of mum’s dreams of a future career in teaching (she had won a scholarship to study teaching) went out the window. Mum, once married, then projected all of those lost hopes for her future onto our dad , my sister and me. We were the classic, upwardly mobile family.
I could go on but it is all a bit too complicated and depressing. My sister and I are both in our sixties now and I think our best response to our childhood has been to ensure that we grew up and became loving mothers who always have done our best for our children and at the same time accepted them for themselves.
Thank you for sharing this, I alway think behind closed doors no one knows what goes on! And that generation didn’t have choices like we do today! So angry and resentment came out and that’s so damaging growing up in a home like that. Well done to you and your sister xxxx
@@ask.charlie thank you 🙏 I have never told anyone else. Very cathartic.
So brave to share Charlie. So easy to go through life hiding things that cause one pain and upset. You are so lovely, your children are very very lucky to have you.
Thank you Jane, yes easy in the short term but not in the long run! Xxx
Thank You for sharing. I can relate to your feelings. You really articulated many things that I felt and have had trouble articulating. ❤ You would be a great person to have tea, cake and a chat with 🥰 I am sure sharing wasn’t easy Thank You again !!!!!
Thank you Wendy I feel happy to talk about this now, in the past it was much harder to articulate how I felt. Time and therapy has been a great healer xxx
Charlie, you are so very brave and kind to talk about this. Childhood trauma can incessantly eat away at the mind and the personality, propelling us into a hellish pit of despair. The way out is a slow and painful climb and for many of us there is no helping hand or kindly voice. You are so encouraging and supportive - thank you so very, very much. x
It is a hellish pit of despair, you are so right and hopefully I have opened up a conversation that will help and encourage that there is always hope and light at the end of the tunnel and baby steps you can make huge strides in time xxx
I admire you for your honesty. We all have some sort of trauma You dug deep . Love you 🥰. Thank you for being so transparent .
Thank you Charlie for your honesty. As you say we all have some level of trauma and if we can get through we end up stronger. I can relate to some of your experiences and found it helpful to listen to your experiences.Your emotional intelligence has helped you understand ways to heal.
Thank you and I really wanted this to show hope that positive changes can be made
I am a new follower but would thank you for being so open and honest about your life. You are a lovely strong woman who is now closing that book and creating a new happier one with you as the author. Big massive hugs I sent to you. Be forever content in your life with good people around you that make you happy. 😘 🥰😘
Thank you for your lovely words xxx
Well Done to you Charlie, such an incredibly emotional story to tell. I am so incredibly lucky to have two beautiful parents divorced when we were younger but never any less love. Stepfather however was a slightly different issue. He has now had several strokes and is a completely different character something I still struggle with but remain civil. Huge Huge Love to you darling. xxxx
How wonderful your parents had a positive divorce and well done for remaining civil with your step father, not easy but sometimes we have to accept xxx
Charlie, thank you for sharing your story. It was good to hear how you have taken the time to deal with your trauma. It’s so easy to fall in to learned behaviours as parents and you’re absolutely right we need to think about our impact. Sending love ❤
Thank you ❤ our behaviour with our children has the biggest impact on their lives it’s so important to address past issues and make positive changes xxx
I have just been following you for a few months & really enjoy watching your vlogs ❤ you have been so brave & honest about your family trauma you’ve had to work through. You are such a lovely person who always comes across so happy & positive. Thank you for sharing your experience & I will definitely buy your book recommendation. Sending you much love from Bonnie Scotland 💙
Thank you so very much ❤I do feel so grateful for the life I have today xxx
Sorry you had to live through all of that Charlie, I really felt your pain listening to you...xxx
Thank you Nina xxx
Hi Charlie -- Thank you so much for sharing your story. Unfortunately it's incredibly relatable (right down to the Pony Club!) -- but it really helps hearing from someone who has gone through a similar situation. Hope you are well.
SNAP, they have both died now I’m relieved to say. I also went through a divorce after 20 yrs of marriage. I’m 64 and liberated. ❤
Not easy but so pleased you are liberated now xxx
❤
My darling girl ... listening to this has touched me so much ... God bless you. I can't respond fully now, but will try to do so tomorrow via Insta DM. So much love xxx
It was you Sarah that lead me to Lucinda, such a powerful book. The hugest thank you xxx
You look so good in a white shirt