I hope you are doing well Sam. You are so on point with your videos. Your videos are focused not on quick fixes, but long term and deep transformation of the person. You are one of the knowledgeable, humble, honest, and wise members of this org. You make this wonderful org more welcoming for people who are going through the pain. Thank you for doing this all. Know you have helped tons and that help was at deep transformational level. Wishing you and your beautiful family positive vibes.
I had forgiveness and was letting go but it comes back. I get so hurt and feel sick from triggers then I spiral and get so angry. I try to stay away from him. We can't talk about it because I start to rage. But I can't handle this anymore.
How about the story of I can't believe that they are saying the whole truth because I've done the math, looked for facts and asked the questions and I believe that their answers don't add up, are not honest or they come across as minimizing what really happened. What then? Thank you.
hi john. not sure i totally understand the question. if their answers don't add up, maybe you need to ask them to take a polygraph? that happens quite frequently in our world. that may help put to rest questions you have about their honesty and what they are really coming clean with. now, in terms of minimizing, that's painful i know but unless they get the right help and unless they find another level of clarity due to expert help, they typically minimize. the right help, and the right process can help them come to a better level of empathy. hope that answers.
yah there is a book called forgive for good that's a great help, though not infidelity specific it has some great stuff on forgiveness. also these articles will help: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/forgiving-infidelity-not www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/cost-of-forgiving-infidelity www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-practical-suggestions-for-forgiveness www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/betrayal-and-forgiving-infidelity-the-gift-of-forgiveness www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/forgiving-infidelity-the-fight-to-forgive
I have just come across your videos, I have come all the way back to the begging to really try to understand where to begin the process. I feel completely lost, where do you even begin as the betrayed? Is there supposed to be a time frame on when you should start the process of forgiveness I don’t want to forgive too early and I don’t want to let it get past the point of there being a possibility of forgiving.
hi there. here is an article on a recovery timeline for you: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founders/2010-03-timeline that will help explain some things about timeline. also, what help have you received or found? here is a free bootcamp program that's on our site you can start asap as well: www.affairrecovery.com/surviving-infidelity/first-steps-bootcamp if you'd like to tell me a bit more about what you're facing, I'll do what I can to help. you can send a brief email too to samuel@hope-now.com
I relate to this but I just hit another wall with forgiveness as the affair partner my spouse was with is getting a divorce. How do you forgive someone who went off and helped take apart another marriage?
it's still a process. here are some helpful articles: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/forgiving-infidelity-not www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/cost-of-forgiving-infidelity www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-practical-suggestions-for-forgiveness also this video as it discusses the double betrayal piece and the difficulty forgiving the affair partner: ruclips.net/video/QP9VEuiV1u4/видео.html
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
I hope you are doing well Sam. You are so on point with your videos. Your videos are focused not on quick fixes, but long term and deep transformation of the person. You are one of the knowledgeable, humble, honest, and wise members of this org. You make this wonderful org more welcoming for people who are going through the pain. Thank you for doing this all. Know you have helped tons and that help was at deep transformational level. Wishing you and your beautiful family positive vibes.
What else can I say? This is amazing. THANK YOU!!!!
appreciate it jay. thank you.
I had forgiveness and was letting go but it comes back. I get so hurt and feel sick from triggers then I spiral and get so angry. I try to stay away from him. We can't talk about it because I start to rage. But I can't handle this anymore.
I feel you
I really appreciate this channel, super helpful & inspiring
Thank you this is what I needed now :)
If the other person takes your forgiveness as condoning, how do you handle that?
How about the story of I can't believe that they are saying the whole truth because I've done the math, looked for facts and asked the questions and I believe that their answers don't add up, are not honest or they come across as minimizing what really happened.
What then?
Thank you.
hi john. not sure i totally understand the question. if their answers don't add up, maybe you need to ask them to take a polygraph? that happens quite frequently in our world. that may help put to rest questions you have about their honesty and what they are really coming clean with. now, in terms of minimizing, that's painful i know but unless they get the right help and unless they find another level of clarity due to expert help, they typically minimize. the right help, and the right process can help them come to a better level of empathy. hope that answers.
If the answers don't add up it's because honesty isn't part of the equation. I'm going through the same thing
What's going on samuel? I'm looking for books to read on this topic of forgiveness, and also affair. Do you have any recommendations.
yah there is a book called forgive for good that's a great help, though not infidelity specific it has some great stuff on forgiveness. also these articles will help: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/forgiving-infidelity-not www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/cost-of-forgiving-infidelity www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-practical-suggestions-for-forgiveness www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/betrayal-and-forgiving-infidelity-the-gift-of-forgiveness www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/forgiving-infidelity-the-fight-to-forgive
I have just come across your videos, I have come all the way back to the begging to really try to understand where to begin the process. I feel completely lost, where do you even begin as the betrayed? Is there supposed to be a time frame on when you should start the process of forgiveness I don’t want to forgive too early and I don’t want to let it get past the point of there being a possibility of forgiving.
hi there. here is an article on a recovery timeline for you: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founders/2010-03-timeline that will help explain some things about timeline. also, what help have you received or found? here is a free bootcamp program that's on our site you can start asap as well: www.affairrecovery.com/surviving-infidelity/first-steps-bootcamp if you'd like to tell me a bit more about what you're facing, I'll do what I can to help. you can send a brief email too to samuel@hope-now.com
I believe what he’s saying is forgiving and reconciliation go hand in hand and it takes time for reconciliation to take place..
I really hope I get there one day.
Me too, it's so difficult when they lie.
Sam how can I correspond with you a little more privately
I relate to this but I just hit another wall with forgiveness as the affair partner my spouse was with is getting a divorce. How do you forgive someone who went off and helped take apart another marriage?
it's still a process. here are some helpful articles: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/forgiving-infidelity-not www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/cost-of-forgiving-infidelity www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-practical-suggestions-for-forgiveness also this video as it discusses the double betrayal piece and the difficulty forgiving the affair partner: ruclips.net/video/QP9VEuiV1u4/видео.html