Omg! I'm Filipina and live in the US. I've gone through this for years and finally had to cut them off completely. They lie about what they use it for then you see them on Facebook going to resorts having lots of fun while I'm at work.
Me too. A while back my older brother called and told me how broke he was and how he needed money. I felt so guilty, I sent him $500 to cover some of his expenses. Later that night, he facetimed me to show me a new tv he just bought.
Same here. Came home to a sister with a nice house and Grand Jeep Cherokee in her driveway, yet she always asked me for money. Taunted me about not having my own place.
Just because you are related to somebody does not give them an excuse or the right to exploit and use you . Families that are constantly demanding money from you is not love but self-serving entitlement greed . I had to literally cut myself off from my father and sister because of this toxic deluded attitude they had towards me
It took me years to learn how to set boundaries when it comes to loaning money to family and friends who saw me as a human bank. Once you start saying "no" to people making demands for money (or, God Forbid, ask them to help you for once) they turn on you and make you feel like a heartless monster. It hurts. But it allows you to learn who actually cares about you and who only sees you as a walking ATM
African families will never appreciate the financial support we give them,the more money you give them the more they expect,its always give.. give..give to them and when you dont have anymore to give them they stop talking to you..you become their enemy...I have had horrible experiences with family and money that Ive had to cut off most of the communication with them.
I completely relate to that sisters. I cut mine off too. They will never ask how my son and I are doing or coping here alone. They actually command that you give it to them (job or jobless) as you have no choice. The stress they gave me could have sent me to my early grave.They never say please or thank you. Since I cut them off they don't talk to me anymore. I pray God change their heart and only then we will reconnect. I am enjoying peace of mind now.
Zannette Roberts That's exactly how with American families also. I had to move away from home and stop associating myself with all of my siblings. And all of us are from America.
Thank you for your words. I'm a Honduran immigrant whose father was deported for drunk driving five years ago, and as I grow up and try to establish myself in this world, I constantly have to face this problem of him asking for money. I searched RUclips to hear people talk about this issue and this was just what I needed to hear. Best takeaway: If there is no friendship between you, it won't work as a family relation either.
I’ve been there! My own twin sister, feels like she is the reason I came to USA! For years I felt the need to take care of her and her family, but now I have closedown the door! I’m not God! I have my own family to take care of them!
I’ve been there! I paid for my twine sister ‘s kids up to university, they have their kids and still my twine sister thinks, it’s my job to take care of her! They don’t love us, they never will!
I have a lot of friends from Africa and they consistently talk about this same situation. One thing i despise is the attitude of entitlement. First pf all no one has to do anything for you. If some even gives you a penny more than you had before. Say Thank you. It doesn't cost anything to say thank you.. For you people that are givers honey you just have to StoP!!! Trust me they will figure it out. Im here in America and my relatives do the same thing. They think bc im a nurse im an unlimited withdrawal bank.. I Love my brother. But everytime he gives me an excuse of what he need i give him a better excuse of why i cant send it.. Brothers and sister you have to set money boundaries. And guess what saying i don't have it doesn't mean you don't love them. Family is Family. You can Love them and decide not to be used by them.. Take care...
Man, I despise my immediate family. My mom expects me to pay 300 a month to "contribute" to the household. Yet not a single thing has changed, we still need a new refrigerator, a new stove, a washer and dryer (& we've needed them for a year.) 7 months of me "contributing" is nearly $2000 gone. Yet not a damn thing has changed. To make matters worse, my mom opened a light bill in my name that has $1600 balance that she kept a secret from me & hasn't paid a DIME on. I feel like she's taking advantage of me & doing whatever she can to keep me from getting anything, having anything or being someone...unless it benefits her. Every single time, I "contribute" I feel degraded and robbed. The worst part ? I did fafsa not too long ago and before I could even finish the application she was asking me to buy her a car, yet she couldn't drive the busted car we already have literally 3 minutes to get me out of an area she claims she doesn't want me walking in and left me stranded for 5 hrs. I'm 23 and I have yet to have my own car, place or license. Thoughts ?
It's difficult because as children, we have an innate desire to please our parents. Unfortunately, many abuse this and lack vision. You have to take a step back and see your mother for who she is - a flawed human. Only then will you be able to do what's necessary for you. I'm in a similar situation. I'm now seen as selfish/the black sheep. It hurts that they can't see beyond their feelings but I can't kill myself. I matter and my future matters. If you can't help me build, don't take away from the little that I have.
I feel you as a sister.. .. the spirit of dependency is killing us. You should have included the idea that most of them give birth without control while expecting help from outside... Its high time we cut the link so that they wake up.
My neighbor is from Africa, lovely hard working man. Great neighbor, so sweet guy. You guys have a huge ❤️, I mean huge, but don't allow others to take advantage of you. Had you noticed how good they look in pictures. Like my aunt after I gave her over two thousand dollars to "help" her, she had the nerve to send me pictures of her and her husband in an inclusive five star hotel in Dominican Republic. That particular hotel must be at least 300 dollars the night,. Who paid for that vacation, me the sucker.
I started lending siblings money out of love and faith and all I ever received back was disrespect (by the lies they made up to suck me financially dry) getting yelled at (for not wanting to give them more money) and being abandoned by not wanting to return the money .
There was always an emergency that only my money could solve. The only time I got a text from family was for money requests. And I would literally run to a money transfer outlet, believing that my sister was 'critically ill'. Now I punish them. I only send 35% of what they ask, and after 2 months. It works. Now I go for 5 months without family asking for money.
When they ask you for some help, it usually puts you under a heavy obligation to send that money, to the extent that you can't take half an hour without thinking about it. It is such a heavy heavy burden.
At some point i had no option but to say a big NO to almost all my siblings. Sometimes they would act like cartels to swindle funds from me in broad daylight. No appreciation, no thank you, no sorry, no regret, just give and give.
This is prevalent in the Caribbean as well. This started issues in my relationship, he was from Haiti and whatever stress he received from his family he brought it into home. We couldn’t even do anything and lived a lower quality of life even with our own child. No vacations, spending even limited, with bonuses or extra income. It was exhausting. His family was never happy or satisfied. He would work hard, but barely saw bearing fruits. I worked myself as well. Then the costs to want them to bring them over as well . They don’t understand how hard we work here.
I feel you my sister ! most of the families living in the homeland, see their family abroad as a living money tree or a breathing atm machine ! that disgusting bad behaviour need to stop now !!!!!
You send $10,000.00 and they say, "You could've sent more" ? That would be my last ! Your family thinks you're making Millions ! Give them a financial break down !
Even if you give them the breakdown of your finances some of them will choose not to believe you nor reckon with that gesture. For them you live abroad you send it to them to spend.
The problem is that this would never happen with strangers or a bank and freeloading family members know this and that they would be held accountable. If you give such large amounts of money then you can obviously afford it and they think you might be holding out on them. Everyone has 24 hours in a day and freedom of choice to use the time they have been given. The best way to help people ( family) is not to help by giving money, as you create a dependency and positively reinforce their poor behavioural habits. Let them be responsible for their choices and actions and bear the consequences of those choices. Your kindness and good nature is being taken advantage of.
Those who want to control your finances and how you spend your money are out of order. They have no right to demand an audit of your funds. Refer them to the nearest embassy to try their luck and go abroad to become millionaires too. Enough is enough.
Great story. Totally understand. It's like on an airplane, if that oxygen mask comes down, you need to get yours on first before you start helping others.
My African born family here in the US has gotten so totally brainwashed by there family back in Africa you wouldn't believe it.. Just in the last year they've sent so much Money, Electronics, Michael Khors, Perfume, Smart TVs, Galaxy phones etc. it's crazy! Even a whopping$13.000k for a funeral for a distant brother they didn't really know or like, The family was begging for more claiming no one couldn't afford to bury him and he deserved a big funeral and party for the whole village so everyone could honor and remember him! They eventually borrowed from the bank and sent the money. Now just this month they're sending a crate as big as a refrigerator full of objects! Wtf. They don't even tell me what's inside the boxes anymore. When I ask why they are always sending all they're hard earned income to Africa the only thing they say is, Because our family back in Africa is struggling to survive and they need all these things...You know the only ones who are struggling is us because of our greedy family in Africa are living like Kings.
I can't forget my sister in law how she told me that I have sent the money late can you imagine, even my mother went for a wedding using my money really they opened my eyes now i give any money to family members.
My brother and sisters love you all!I am Ethiopian ,I am amazed to see how different Ethiopian values are.OUR people have to much pride ,Yes there are families who need support and those ,when they receive money from us ,they use it properly where it belongs.In my side family from the low in come to those who made it to the top they are hard working,give Ethiopians money they will create more money.After 20 years I visited home ,I was proud of my Ethiopians.
well... that is too generalized. I do have Ethiopian friends who do not even want to go back home because all their people ask is money. My friend lost money to her family members because they lied to her that they were undertaking a project that never flourished. They paln big parties, weddings etc on her budget.... i can write more. So bruh this is not the same for all Ethiopians, be happy that you got that one lucky family....
Fake.am Ethiopian and and every single day they ask for money.there is not a day that i will not receive a text or a call that they wouldn't ask for money .been giving them alot.and all they do is enjoy and asl again
I feel you. I had to work since 14 to pay my school. Yet my parents asked me to pay for my big bro business when i was 17. I was granted scholarship in NTU but I chose to freelance to support my family, when i was in college, I started paying my family debt. My parents complained how small my salary is. I never went on vacation for years just for them to spend all my money. I'm setting boudaries yet, I often spend too much on them. I feel like a cash cow and unloved. I often think of cutting ties and even worse, i think of suicide so that they can claim my life insurance as a way I can payback all cents they spend on me. My parents make me feel like I am living in a debt trap. Yet I cant stop loving them, that's my weaknesses. Feel good to trash out my feeling with people with the same strugle
Hi. I know what you are talking about. I helped my family for over 30 years..... And yes I realized this week they call only for money. I set boundaries this week and I have peace from the LORD GOD BLESS YOU
Please dont take your life. Seek therapy and set boundaries. You worship your parents my dear abd thats why you are suffering. Worship God the father and see how your life will change.
I asked my aunt to help when the baby was born. She told had enough points to pay for her own ticket. Then when she came, my husband picked her up from the airport. She went the whole day around New York visiting people. Okay, fine. When she finally came to my house. She sat around all day talking to everyone of her friends. My 2 year old daughter was unattended. She never cooked. My husband had to cook when he came from work. Mind you he leaves 3:00 am comes back at 6 or 7 pm. Since I had a csection could not do house work. She wet my floors so much they curved. She did take the older 2 kids to and from school. But she came too late to pick up my daughter and someone else brought her home. She told us she needed money for plain fair, English course, clothes for her daughter, etc. We gave her 1500 cash plus 1.000 more in gifts. She washed clothes everyday, even though we told her not to do that. She keft a week and 2 days before the day she was supposed to be helping me. I had to get up take care of two babies, cook and all. My csection caught huge infection that i battle from months. My skin was falling off me. Suffered terrible pain. If we had paid someone to be here for us, it would had been cheaper. My health deteriorated. Her daughter never thanked me for 500 plus 100 dollars shipping to China. She had the odacity to ask me for $500 dollars a month after she left. So basically we paid for her vacation. Never again. My finances suffered because of her and my health too.
Ha!! Hope your health has improved greatly now. And how r u doing now? And the babies? Hope that everyone is doing well. Please, kindly take good care of yourself: your family (husband and children) need u alive and well. Shaking reading this posting; I can't finish reading it. Haba!! Our people back home: such a shame!!! O, BTW, my mum is worse than your sister: u r not alone.
Sounds like my ex’s family we were basically paying for their fares, for them to be able to travel and see the world and is never going anywhere, but working. After having a baby we even housed and I was expected to be Cinderella and given an attitude. Wouldn’t even take my child while I was in the room while working from home, or trying to go job hunting. She wanted to be pampered hand and foot. Trust me a lot of them love a little freer, the conditions might not be up to par, but they would be buying things, going to restaurants etc. not even working.
if you have family threatening you of kidnapping or killing you you need to move far far far far away from those sick so called family they are not good for your life move and start a new family of your own.
I have learnt that if you do not want to keep sending money to someone back home, do not do it the first time because once you do it the first time, they will ask you for more down the line.
Thank you for your story. It is an eye opener about modern Africa. Your brother needed to be initiated into manhood of responsibility. This should not have included a WOMAN babying his needs. Shame on him to even ask a woman or baby sister to take care of his WANTS. It's not only Africa that this happens but the Caribbean and South America. A sibling may leave to the U.S. and start from scratch to build a life then the family thinks it's just a joy ride off of your work. They often, the men, get in trouble with the law because they feel entitled to the finer things in life and commit crime. They never learn true responsibility. I wish you well.
If you want a discussion let's have one without calling me names. Of course any gender can be a user; but this situation is telling because the male socially is at an advantage over the female. Not the reverse! Yes, it is about willingness and she was being imposed upon by an adult male with kids. She is being more of a man than he and the father is teaching his girls of his lack of manhood. Manhood is not about producing babies but in taking care of them on his own. We see woman taking care of their kids without the male but how come you don't see the reverse in the traditional societies? I do not isolate this phenomenon to only Africa. I have not done anything worthless but expose truth and I suspect that why you sound so offended by me is that this guy describes YOU. Don't get made at me, just change your ways and your mouth. I do not subscribe to gender roles, per ce, but that of responsibility of the individual. I am all about the freedom of choice of humanity and not bullying the weaker when the weaker says no.
Jihanjae, it's not your job to help family members besides your own immediate family who are still young and dependent of you as a parent. Helping understand this almost never ever work in the first place. If they were shelf to begin with, nothing will help. NOTHING.
Veronica Dunbar+ If you didn't have trouble reading, you'd see that I DID NOT say it was anyone's "job". I said THOSE WHO FIND THEMSELVES IN A BETTER POSITION, SHOULD BE WILLING TO ASSIST, IF THEY CAN!!!!!!! There is no law which limits assistance to immediate family members, & it doesn't have to be long term. Extending the assistance beyond immediate family, will depend on the individual. You sound extremely desperate in your attempt to use this particular video, to generally characterize every family member on the Continent!!
SpiritJourney+ Thanks for proving my point about your worthlessness!!! Sorry, but I don't fit your description!! I'm a single college grad, and an honorably discharged Army Veteran, & as a matter of fact, I just sent money back this week, to someone who needed it!! Being "mad" has nothing to do with FACTS. I'm correcting you because the idiot perception/values you clearly have, is a cancer, and it's contagious to society!! If you seriously believe that there are no single fathers with children, then I suggest you crawl out from under your fucking rock, and open your eyes, because there are MILLIONS of them! It is also not for YOU to "define" what "manhood" is!! Her brother OBVIOUSLY cares for his children, & there is nothing wrong with needing her assistance, if she is in a more advantageous position. She simply has to ensure that she is not being exploited. So far, you have done nothing but prove that you're a lowlife, know nothing loser, & a dishrag who thinks that "shaming tactics" will somehow free you from a moral obligation. The funny thing is that dishrags like you would have absolutely no problem, funneling money from a man, if the roles were reversed; HYPOCRITE!!!!
My principal rule: I do not loan and I do not borrow, period! It simply means I am independent and responsible, additionally I never make excuses to them. If someone like family or friends ask to borrow $$$, and I feel like helping out, I will allow them to work for it. It's an amicable exchange and alleviates the possibility of the revolving door ATM relationship. By doing this you are teaching them to respect you and your boundaries. Simply put, I have to work to earn and they should do the same. Never allow family to flood you will guilt for not giving them $$$ when the ask/demand because genetics has absolutely nothing to do with your Bank Account. If you haven't ALREADY, YOU NEED TO TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO RESPECT YOU.
Im bound by guilt. This is the bad side of family system someones problem will become your problem it does not help self improvement forever youll get stuck if dont break free.
I got divorced I asked my rich brother for $2000 to help me get an apartment. He said no. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I knew then I had to sink or swim.
@@TheCozyMe yes. But it did help me go my own way. I actually ended up living in my car from 2000-08 in Los Angeles. But now I have a home paid off in the middle of Texas. Money in the bank. No debt. Life is good.
No one can understand that!!! My biggest regret is that I thought to give something to my parents after saving for years!!! I saved upto 5years!!! Then I gave almost 30% to my parents and 70% I invested in something (in which I loose a lot of money) . After that incident my parents only see me as a money tree.
I really feel your pain I had to put on boundaries and said if I have I Will send if I don't I don't period. On the other hand my husband family is so unappreciative he works two jobs takes care of His sister's kids one has seven kids the other 3 kids with no husbands. I believe in helping older parents as you can. But when it comes to people having kid left to right then phone start ringing of the hook we need money my due date is this this one needs this and that. even money for house keeper they will borrow just sickening. While we are dying with two jobs and house work.
A good way to help a sibling if u can afford to send them to school at home or help them with a small business that can keep the family supported while you are abroad. Sending free money is useless because they will chop every bit till gone. Let them sell stuff or open a small shop give once then no more. Pay school fee Directly to school. We say if you give them fish they can eat for one day. If you Teach them how to fish they will never be hungry again...
I recently inherited some money from my uncle and his wife. Less than 100k but before that I wasn’t working for 2 years found a job and then was laid off a few months ago. Needless to say it’s been pretty frustrating. My uncles parents are still alive and helped me get the inheritance as they had no will. I decided to give them a few thousand dollars for helping me get the inheritance. Before that my grandmother starting asking me for money and I was somewhat frustrated but again like I said I would reward them for helping me. Then all of a sudden every time I see her asks for more money to the point of over 12 thousand dollars. Now keep in mind before this I hadn’t worked in 2 years. Like you said we have plans for our life like I want to buy a house, go to school, and invest. When it comes to money people don’t care about your goals. This happens in America too. It hurts bc I love them but money is a VERY personal thing.
Well my sister I am an American black I understand how you feel but my sister we have the same problem as you do but think about it if you are truly blessed you should always bless someone and maybe that blessing is your brother he needs to be taught that you are his Earthly angel and you're giving him heaven on Earth but he should return the favor and do something nice for you isn't this what it's all about I love your video and I understand and sometimes you can be used and that's when any and everybody my sister I pray that God will continually bless you to give but you can't be stupid and you have to keep track of your money but always remember God will bless you love you my sister May the peace and the blessings of almighty God forever be upon you
Amen. Very good video with a lot of truth and good advice. Beautiful. Nice to see another fellow Kenyan. You look nice and like the makeup, too. The nails are lovely. Thank you for this video. Family back home think we're making a lot of money here in America. I even had a family member who kept wanting me to send money to Kenya. I think she thinks I have a good chunk of money left over every month, but that's just not the case.
Sister I am from Europe and it's a same sh.t everywhere! No matter what you doing in your life. If y working abroad, you become privat ATM for your family. Disconnect your number. Only working solution for this problem. Don't try to analyze or explain to them, no point. Just disconnect your self physically and most importantly, mentally.
Oh my God is this happening to many. U don’t know how my family in Africa makes me guilty. It’s like we get money on trees. I thought it was only me. And they can’t ask it for a business !
I can relate. I'm working abroad and my brother always asks me for money. He only calls and messages me for money. even if you just sent money but later ask for it again. very abusive. no matter what help I do it just goes to nothing. just over and over again, it's too tiring. he is not only wasting money but also the effort you spent to earn the money. He has no mercy even for our parents. Until now, he has left all his responsibilities to my parents, of course, I am also struggling because I support my parents. Is it right that I just blocked him ? because I'm tired of his behavior 😢
My main problem is mother and sisters always wanting money from me. I’ve given my mother and sisters money to start a business and help themselves but they’re always doing something else with the business money and coming back to ask me for money. I am tired and done with them. 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
tell your women relatives to start a in-house daycare and charge the working woman in their communities to watch their young children while they're working. If you send them 10.000 tell them to buy a used vehicle fix it up and use it as a taxi. or buy a used vehicle and sell it than use that money to buy two more old cars fix them up & sell them keep that going untill you have a used car dealership own by your Kenyan family.
@The Cozy Me. Been there and what I learnt is to move on. As we say in dholuo 'wat iriwo gi osiep'. 2 years ago I was so depressed and I became so ill now i don't talk to them given them a break to think. Jah bless
It’s sad. Who bewitched Africans? Sadly it’s taken me 22 yrs to shake off this behavior but this yr I said enough is enough! I ain’t sending a dime to nobody! Same family doesn’t even call me. I have to be the one calling them but ironically they need my money! Hungry bunch of wolves that will never have enough no matter what you do! 😡
Like what you have just said.I like to help but i see that as soon as we bring our help to money many troubles would rise like hospital bills when no one is sick. I told one of my relative who loves Maria so much but has no truth, to come join me and when coming, she should get a solid bag so that when we go to fetch money, no one would strip it from us. I gave her money, when she bought the bag, she proudly confirmed it. I bought her ticket believe me when i saw her in the airport, i did not recorgnize her because of the cap that of the Queen is smaller.. When she came into my house, the first day, no problem, the nest day to the 3rd day she was worried. She dresses like a mass keeper i had to correct her. I told her to bring a cutlass a rain boot and that cap, then we drove to the farm, i opened the gate and began to cuting my own grass she nearly collaps, i incourage her ro cut faster so when owner of the farm comes he would give us money. We cut, cut and cut till 12 noon, no one came. That is who to teach them lesson. You need to bring them here some use to run back when they see snow. When she goes back, she will tell them, foolish things.
People in love with money. All you have is your health and all that God or nature gave you. I find it amazing that spirit keeps giving to us and asks nothing in return. We keep polluting, destroying, wars, taking and taking. When will we realize the air we breath and all the beautiful nature, food and family and friends is all that is important??🌍🌍🌍
Very interesting video :) I know of a situation where a person was used by his African family. A particular person from his family was contacting him. Contacting him about these so-called "emergency situations." I belive most of the situations was fake. I believe a ploy to take money from him. Yes, he was being scammed. Never send money in a rush. Take time to see if their story is valid. If "emergency situations" are happening more than then they should, chances are, they are probably trying to scam you. it is okay to send money. It is up to you on how much you want to send. Make sure your life is okay and stable.
Here's the sad thing , now that I've lost my job after 7 years of working so hard to keep my family happy ( now I am 26) they barely show me the support, they still want my savings like I am not job hunting. They still want me to pay for my step sis's college tuition . I haven't even asked a cent from them yet God I believe is showing me their true colours before elevation - African child WE ALL COULD reach our full potential and elevate to a higher standard of life as the next generation if we learn to say NO. Look at your own family , what did they do for their own parents? - most of you here in the comments are experiencing this abuse too. Why are we renovating their houses, buying them cars and building for them when we don't have our own financial flexibility , before building businesses , before investing , before clearing those student loans ?
We are caught in the middle of thinking tribally or from a societal perspective where we are individuals with our own responsibilities. But from a tribal perspective the women move from one tribe to another. They are not obligated to their old tribe anymore. I suppose the dowry was about acknowledging that she was raised by her old tribe.
The stupidest thing is to think you're actually investing in the bond with you and your sibling when he guilts you to lend money any way. Only fools give in to this. In the long run he'll abandon you, because he doesn't wanna pay you back. I'd rather have my money still with me while my brother turns against me, then being broke while he abandons me any way.
![How to Say No When Someone Asks for Financial (Debt) Help [Panel Discussion]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IR-aWJcxIMU/mqdefault.jpg)
Omg! I'm Filipina and live in the US. I've gone through this for years and finally had to cut them off completely. They lie about what they use it for then you see them on Facebook going to resorts having lots of fun while I'm at work.
Wow!!
Me too. A while back my older brother called and told me how broke he was and how he needed money. I felt so guilty, I sent him $500 to cover some of his expenses. Later that night, he facetimed me to show me a new tv he just bought.
@@zuri4life no wayyy😩😂
Same here. Came home to a sister with a nice house and Grand Jeep Cherokee in her driveway, yet she always asked me for money. Taunted me about not having my own place.
As Far as Africa family is concerned they don't appreciate and the only language they understand is give give give!!!!!
Tell them No No No.
True talk
So true
Yes!!!!!
Ha ha so true
Just because you are related to somebody does not give them an excuse or the right to exploit and use you . Families that are constantly demanding money from you is not love but self-serving entitlement greed . I had to literally cut myself off from my father and sister because of this toxic deluded attitude they had towards me
It took me years to learn how to set boundaries when it comes to loaning money to family and friends who saw me as a human bank. Once you start saying "no" to people making demands for money (or, God Forbid, ask them to help you for once) they turn on you and make you feel like a heartless monster.
It hurts. But it allows you to learn who actually cares about you and who only sees you as a walking ATM
MsBrendalina
PREACH!
African families will never appreciate the financial support we give them,the more money you give them the more they expect,its always give.. give..give to them and when you dont have anymore to give them they stop talking to you..you become their enemy...I have had horrible experiences with family and money that Ive had to cut off most of the communication with them.
Zannette Roberts I feel you my friend I do
I completely relate to that sisters. I cut mine off too. They will never ask how my son and I are doing or coping here alone. They actually command that you give it to them (job or jobless) as you have no choice. The stress they gave me could have sent me to my early grave.They never say please or thank you. Since I cut them off they don't talk to me anymore. I pray God change their heart and only then we will reconnect. I am enjoying peace of mind now.
Bless Beulah that was good
Zannette Roberts A world problem of givers and takers. Takers are lazy users, who think they are slick. Give as long as you want, and then no more.
Zannette Roberts That's exactly how with American families also. I had to move away from home and stop associating myself with all of my siblings. And all of us are from America.
Thank you for your words. I'm a Honduran immigrant whose father was deported for drunk driving five years ago, and as I grow up and try to establish myself in this world, I constantly have to face this problem of him asking for money. I searched RUclips to hear people talk about this issue and this was just what I needed to hear. Best takeaway: If there is no friendship between you, it won't work as a family relation either.
Exactly! Its all about self preservation, if he can't help himself then don't help him.
I feel you sister. These toxic family members pull us down. We love them but enough is enough. If they love us too, they should work!
I’ve been there! My own twin sister, feels like she is the reason I came to USA! For years I felt the need to take care of her and her family, but now I have closedown the door! I’m not God! I have my own family to take care of them!
This is why I don't attend family gathering anymore and I don't even bother to call them.
I’ve been there! I paid for my twine sister ‘s kids up to university, they have their kids and still my twine sister thinks, it’s my job to take care of her! They don’t love us, they never will!
I have a lot of friends from Africa and they consistently talk about this same situation. One thing i despise is the attitude of entitlement. First pf all no one has to do anything for you. If some even gives you a penny more than you had before. Say Thank you. It doesn't cost anything to say thank you.. For you people that are givers honey you just have to StoP!!! Trust me they will figure it out. Im here in America and my relatives do the same thing. They think bc im a nurse im an unlimited withdrawal bank.. I Love my brother. But everytime he gives me an excuse of what he need i give him a better excuse of why i cant send it.. Brothers and sister you have to set money boundaries. And guess what saying i don't have it doesn't mean you don't love them. Family is Family. You can Love them and decide not to be used by them.. Take care...
Man, I despise my immediate family. My mom expects me to pay 300 a month to "contribute" to the household. Yet not a single thing has changed, we still need a new refrigerator, a new stove, a washer and dryer (& we've needed them for a year.) 7 months of me "contributing" is nearly $2000 gone. Yet not a damn thing has changed. To make matters worse, my mom opened a light bill in my name that has $1600 balance that she kept a secret from me & hasn't paid a DIME on. I feel like she's taking advantage of me & doing whatever she can to keep me from getting anything, having anything or being someone...unless it benefits her. Every single time, I "contribute" I feel degraded and robbed.
The worst part ? I did fafsa not too long ago and before I could even finish the application she was asking me to buy her a car, yet she couldn't drive the busted car we already have literally 3 minutes to get me out of an area she claims she doesn't want me walking in and left me stranded for 5 hrs. I'm 23 and I have yet to have my own car, place or license. Thoughts ?
Sounds like my family
It's difficult because as children, we have an innate desire to please our parents. Unfortunately, many abuse this and lack vision. You have to take a step back and see your mother for who she is - a flawed human. Only then will you be able to do what's necessary for you. I'm in a similar situation. I'm now seen as selfish/the black sheep. It hurts that they can't see beyond their feelings but I can't kill myself. I matter and my future matters. If you can't help me build, don't take away from the little that I have.
Move out! Run for your life!
Move away from her and report her for the utility bill that is identity theft!
@@fuckeries I know this is old but your last statement holds true to me. Ive been slowly applying it to myself as is.
Amen..the Bible says a mans adversaries come from your own household. Keep your head up.
I feel you as a sister.. .. the spirit of dependency is killing us. You should have included the idea that most of them give birth without control while expecting help from outside... Its high time we cut the link so that they wake up.
It's like a taboo
Will they ever understand?
👍👍👍
Spot on.
Facts! And they’re expecting you to take care of those kids 🤦🏾♀️
My neighbor is from Africa, lovely hard working man. Great neighbor, so sweet guy.
You guys have a huge ❤️, I mean huge, but don't allow others to take advantage of you.
Had you noticed how good they look in pictures. Like my aunt after I gave her over two thousand dollars to "help" her, she had the nerve to send me pictures of her and her husband in an inclusive five star hotel in Dominican Republic. That particular hotel must be at least 300 dollars the night,. Who paid for that vacation, me the sucker.
I feel you 🤣
I started lending siblings money out of love and faith and all I ever received back was disrespect (by the lies they made up to suck me financially dry) getting yelled at (for not wanting to give them more money) and being abandoned by not wanting to return the money .
There was always an emergency that only my money could solve. The only time I got a text from family was for money requests. And I would literally run to a money transfer outlet, believing that my sister was 'critically ill'. Now I punish them. I only send 35% of what they ask, and after 2 months. It works. Now I go for 5 months without family asking for money.
When they ask you for some help, it usually puts you under a heavy obligation to send that money, to the extent that you can't take half an hour without thinking about it. It is such a heavy heavy burden.
At some point i had no option but to say a big NO to almost all my siblings. Sometimes they would act like cartels to swindle funds from me in broad daylight. No appreciation, no thank you, no sorry, no regret, just give and give.
You did the right thing
Thankless, ungrateful people, who do NOT deserve your help. No more help for people who do not send "Thank you's" or express appreciation.
This is prevalent in the Caribbean as well. This started issues in my relationship, he was from Haiti and whatever stress he received from his family he brought it into home. We couldn’t even do anything and lived a lower quality of life even with our own child. No vacations, spending even limited, with bonuses or extra income. It was exhausting. His family was never happy or satisfied. He would work hard, but barely saw bearing fruits. I worked myself as well. Then the costs to want them to bring them over as well . They don’t understand how hard we work here.
Very true. My Caribbean husband and I (I am African) have this problem.
I feel you my sister ! most of the families living in the homeland, see their family abroad as a living money tree or a breathing atm machine ! that disgusting bad behaviour need to stop now !!!!!
You send $10,000.00 and they say, "You could've sent more" ? That would be my last ! Your family thinks you're making Millions ! Give them a financial break down !
Even if you give them the breakdown of your finances some of them will choose not to believe you nor reckon with that gesture. For them you live abroad you send it to them to spend.
The problem is that this would never happen with strangers or a bank and freeloading family members know this and that they would be held accountable. If you give such large amounts of money then you can obviously afford it and they think you might be holding out on them.
Everyone has 24 hours in a day and freedom of choice to use the time they have been given. The best way to help people ( family) is not to help by giving money, as you create a dependency and positively reinforce their poor behavioural habits. Let them be responsible for their choices and actions and bear the consequences of those choices. Your kindness and good nature is being taken advantage of.
How about they also send me something?
Those who want to control your finances and how you spend your money are out of order. They have no right to demand an audit of your funds. Refer them to the nearest embassy to try their luck and go abroad to become millionaires too. Enough is enough.
Great story. Totally understand. It's like on an airplane, if that oxygen mask comes down, you need to get yours on first before you start helping others.
love you 4 putting this video together. You've given voice to the voiceless.
Thank you.
My African born family here in the US has gotten so totally brainwashed by there family back in Africa you wouldn't believe it.. Just in the last year they've sent so much Money, Electronics, Michael Khors, Perfume, Smart TVs, Galaxy phones etc. it's crazy! Even a whopping$13.000k for a funeral for a distant brother they didn't really know or like, The family was begging for more claiming no one couldn't afford to bury him and he deserved a big funeral and party for the whole village so everyone could honor and remember him! They eventually borrowed from the bank and sent the money. Now just this month they're sending a crate as big as a refrigerator full of objects! Wtf. They don't even tell me what's inside the boxes anymore. When I ask why they are always sending all they're hard earned income to Africa the only thing they say is, Because our family back in Africa is struggling to survive and they need all these things...You know the only ones who are struggling is us because of our greedy family in Africa are living like Kings.
steven gardner tell me about it. I can relate to that, they live like kings and Queens and we are the slaves to work. I gave up way long ago.
steven gardner it is never easy for us who are far from home. They have it but they are never willing to look for it.
that's horrible. my family would never send such stuff back, tvs??? MK bags?? NEVER.
JJ TalkShow
Smart move.
They will literally BLEED YOU DRY.
True, just cut off toxic family period
I can't forget my sister in law how she told me that I have sent the money late can you imagine, even my mother went for a wedding using my money really they opened my eyes now i give any money to family members.
My brother and sisters love you all!I am Ethiopian ,I am amazed to see how different Ethiopian values are.OUR people have to much pride ,Yes there are families who need support and those ,when they receive money from us ,they use it properly where it belongs.In my side family from the low in come to those who made it to the top they are hard working,give Ethiopians money they will create more money.After 20 years I visited home ,I was proud of my Ethiopians.
That's good to hear
well... that is too generalized. I do have Ethiopian friends who do not even want to go back home because all their people ask is money. My friend lost money to her family members because they lied to her that they were undertaking a project that never flourished. They paln big parties, weddings etc on her budget.... i can write more. So bruh this is not the same for all Ethiopians, be happy that you got that one lucky family....
@@memy219 parasitism doesn't know nationality race or religion. There's no monopoly is parasitism.
Fake.am Ethiopian and and every single day they ask for money.there is not a day that i will not receive a text or a call that they wouldn't ask for money .been giving them alot.and all they do is enjoy and asl again
I feel you. I had to work since 14 to pay my school. Yet my parents asked me to pay for my big bro business when i was 17. I was granted scholarship in NTU but I chose to freelance to support my family, when i was in college, I started paying my family debt. My parents complained how small my salary is. I never went on vacation for years just for them to spend all my money. I'm setting boudaries yet, I often spend too much on them. I feel like a cash cow and unloved. I often think of cutting ties and even worse, i think of suicide so that they can claim my life insurance as a way I can payback all cents they spend on me. My parents make me feel like I am living in a debt trap. Yet I cant stop loving them, that's my weaknesses. Feel good to trash out my feeling with people with the same strugle
Hi. I know what you are talking about. I helped my family for over 30 years.....
And yes I realized this week they call only for money.
I set boundaries this week and I have peace from the LORD
GOD BLESS YOU
Please dont take your life. Seek therapy and set boundaries. You worship your parents my dear abd thats why you are suffering. Worship God the father and see how your life will change.
@@thepurplequeen256 hope she is alive and thriving
I asked my aunt to help when the baby was born.
She told had enough points to pay for her own ticket.
Then when she came, my husband picked her up from the airport.
She went the whole day around New York visiting people.
Okay, fine. When she finally came to my house. She sat around all day talking to everyone of her friends. My 2 year old daughter was unattended.
She never cooked. My husband had to cook when he came from work. Mind you he leaves 3:00 am comes back at 6 or 7 pm.
Since I had a csection could not do house work. She wet my floors so much they curved. She did take the older 2 kids to and from school.
But she came too late to pick up my daughter and someone else brought her home.
She told us she needed money for plain fair, English course, clothes for her daughter, etc. We gave her 1500 cash plus 1.000 more in gifts. She washed clothes everyday, even though we told her not to do that. She keft a week and 2 days before the day she was supposed to be helping me.
I had to get up take care of two babies, cook and all. My csection caught huge infection that i battle from months. My skin was falling off me. Suffered terrible pain.
If we had paid someone to be here for us, it would had been cheaper.
My health deteriorated.
Her daughter never thanked me for 500 plus 100 dollars shipping to China. She had the odacity to ask me for $500 dollars a month after she left.
So basically we paid for her vacation. Never again. My finances suffered because of her and my health too.
Sorry I'm very emotional writing this.
Very sad indeed.
Try to make sure it will be never happen again.
Stay strong and stay blessed!
Ha!! Hope your health has improved greatly now. And how r u doing now? And the babies? Hope that everyone is doing well. Please, kindly take good care of yourself: your family (husband and children) need u alive and well. Shaking reading this posting; I can't finish reading it. Haba!! Our people back home: such a shame!!! O, BTW, my mum is worse than your sister: u r not alone.
I feel you @Ulvia
Sounds like my ex’s family we were basically paying for their fares, for them to be able to travel and see the world and is never going anywhere, but working. After having a baby we even housed and I was expected to be Cinderella and given an attitude. Wouldn’t even take my child while I was in the room while working from home, or trying to go job hunting. She wanted to be pampered hand and foot. Trust me a lot of them love a little freer, the conditions might not be up to par, but they would be buying things, going to restaurants etc. not even working.
if you have family threatening you of kidnapping or killing you you need to move far far far far away from those sick so called family they are not good for your life move and start a new family of your own.
Yes eaward that's how dangerously bad they have become.
I have learnt that if you do not want to keep sending money to someone back home, do not do it the first time because once you do it the first time, they will ask you for more down the line.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It's always helpful to learn from others' mistakes and be cautious when it comes to financial matters.
Sad that they treat us this way,to be honest ihave come to hate some family members with all my heart !!
Even the bank doesn't give you free money. You either withdraw the money in your account, or get a loan!
I just give with both hands, and I know how to write no. They do not appreciate what you do. You are so correct.
I learnt to give who appreciate my gift
Thank you for your story. It is an eye opener about modern Africa. Your brother needed to be initiated into manhood of responsibility. This should not have included a WOMAN babying his needs. Shame on him to even ask a woman or baby sister to take care of his WANTS. It's not only Africa that this happens but the Caribbean and South America. A sibling may leave to the U.S. and start from scratch to build a life then the family thinks it's just a joy ride off of your work. They often, the men, get in trouble with the law because they feel entitled to the finer things in life and commit crime. They never learn true responsibility. I wish you well.
It's a shame
If you want a discussion let's have one without calling me names. Of course any gender can be a user; but this situation is telling because the male socially is at an advantage over the female. Not the reverse! Yes, it is about willingness and she was being imposed upon by an adult male with kids. She is being more of a man than he and the father is teaching his girls of his lack of manhood. Manhood is not about producing babies but in taking care of them on his own. We see woman taking care of their kids without the male but how come you don't see the reverse in the traditional societies? I do not isolate this phenomenon to only
Africa. I have not done anything worthless but expose truth and I suspect that why you sound so offended by me is that this guy describes YOU. Don't get made at me, just change your ways and your mouth. I do not subscribe to gender roles, per ce, but that of responsibility of the individual. I am all about the freedom of choice of humanity and not bullying the weaker when the weaker says no.
Jihanjae, it's not your job to help family members besides your own immediate family who are still young and dependent of you as a parent. Helping understand this almost never ever work in the first place. If they were shelf to begin with, nothing will help. NOTHING.
Veronica Dunbar+ If you didn't have trouble reading, you'd see that I DID NOT say it was anyone's "job". I said THOSE WHO FIND THEMSELVES IN A BETTER POSITION, SHOULD BE WILLING TO ASSIST, IF THEY CAN!!!!!!! There is no law which limits assistance to immediate family members, & it doesn't have to be long term. Extending the assistance beyond immediate family, will depend on the individual. You sound extremely desperate in your attempt to use this particular video, to generally characterize every family member on the Continent!!
SpiritJourney+ Thanks for proving my point about your worthlessness!!! Sorry, but I don't fit your description!! I'm a single college grad, and an honorably discharged Army Veteran, & as a matter of fact, I just sent money back this week, to someone who needed it!! Being "mad" has nothing to do with FACTS. I'm correcting you because the idiot perception/values you clearly have, is a cancer, and it's contagious to society!!
If you seriously believe that there are no single fathers with children, then I suggest you crawl out from under your fucking rock, and open your eyes, because there are MILLIONS of them! It is also not for YOU to "define" what "manhood" is!! Her brother OBVIOUSLY cares for his children, & there is nothing wrong with needing her assistance, if she is in a more advantageous position. She simply has to ensure that she is not being exploited.
So far, you have done nothing but prove that you're a lowlife, know nothing loser, & a dishrag who thinks that "shaming tactics" will somehow free you from a moral obligation. The funny thing is that dishrags like you would have absolutely no problem, funneling money from a man, if the roles were reversed; HYPOCRITE!!!!
same story from most of the african countries. me too experiencing same problem. at last i gave up
My principal rule: I do not loan and I do not borrow, period! It simply means I am independent and responsible, additionally I never make excuses to them. If someone like family or friends ask to borrow $$$, and I feel like helping out, I will allow them to work for it. It's an amicable exchange and alleviates the possibility of the revolving door ATM relationship. By doing this you are teaching them to respect you and your boundaries. Simply put, I have to work to earn and they should do the same. Never allow family to flood you will guilt for not giving them $$$ when the ask/demand because genetics has absolutely nothing to do with your Bank Account. If you haven't ALREADY, YOU NEED TO TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO RESPECT YOU.
Really tired of this, needy families are a pain.
naburgr tell me about it.
sometimes you dnt even have to live abraod..... you try to help out family ... u sacrifice and give them and they feel you have money
Cutting the core is hard, but oh so liberating
Im bound by guilt. This is the bad side of family system someones problem will become your problem it does not help self improvement forever youll get stuck if dont break free.
Nicollo Malik Lavelle I know and they can’t even realize that they are squeezing every bit of love and care that someone has for them.
I got divorced
I asked my rich brother for $2000 to help me get an apartment.
He said no.
It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I knew then I had to sink or swim.
I can imagine how difficult that was because you had a reason
@@TheCozyMe yes. But it did help me go my own way. I actually ended up living in my car from 2000-08 in Los Angeles. But now I have a home paid off in the middle of Texas. Money in the bank. No debt. Life is good.
I came here cause I need to know what to do with my family cause am going mad for real
What situation you facing?
No one can understand that!!! My biggest regret is that I thought to give something to my parents after saving for years!!! I saved upto 5years!!! Then I gave almost 30% to my parents and 70% I invested in something (in which I loose a lot of money) . After that incident my parents only see me as a money tree.
I really feel your pain I had to put on boundaries and said if I have I Will send if I don't I don't period. On the other hand my husband family is so unappreciative he works two jobs takes care of His sister's kids one has seven kids the other 3 kids with no husbands. I believe in helping older parents as you can. But when it comes to people having kid left to right then phone start ringing of the hook we need money my due date is this this one needs this and that. even money for house keeper they will borrow just sickening. While we are dying with two jobs and house work.
My advice to you is dont give your brother any thing, because you are not giving it from your heart, so no good will come of it..
A good way to help a sibling if u can afford to send them to school at home or help them with a small business that can keep the family supported while you are abroad. Sending free money is useless because they will chop every bit till gone. Let them sell stuff or open a small shop give once then no more. Pay school fee Directly to school. We say if you give them fish they can eat for one day. If you Teach them how to fish they will never be hungry again...
African Americans too ! I use to help but stopped after $100 turned into 1000 then10,000!!! It was crazy
You can talk to them as they don't understand how much you love them, is just because people think working abroad money is on the tree.
im a white canadian but my family is the same.
Its sad love u girl glad u standing up for yourself stop sending. Money to these beggers
May I suggest a solution ? Set a budget for your families back home and stick to that budget .
Thanks for the idea
Yeah! good idea
John Baldwin Thank you
But they too need to find something doing not dependent on you for money for immediate problems
John Baldwin No, i am not setting a budget for grown ups, have learnt my lesson
I recently inherited some money from my uncle and his wife. Less than 100k but before that I wasn’t working for 2 years found a job and then was laid off a few months ago. Needless to say it’s been pretty frustrating. My uncles parents are still alive and helped me get the inheritance as they had no will. I decided to give them a few thousand dollars for helping me get the inheritance. Before that my grandmother starting asking me for money and I was somewhat frustrated but again like I said I would reward them for helping me. Then all of a sudden every time I see her asks for more money to the point of over 12 thousand dollars. Now keep in mind before this I hadn’t worked in 2 years. Like you said we have plans for our life like I want to buy a house, go to school, and invest. When it comes to money people don’t care about your goals. This happens in America too. It hurts bc I love them but money is a VERY personal thing.
I feel you
it always the ones that has never given you a penny
Absolutely
@@TheCozyMe Please make an updated video on this sickening topic
Well my sister I am an American black I understand how you feel but my sister we have the same problem as you do but think about it if you are truly blessed you should always bless someone and maybe that blessing is your brother he needs to be taught that you are his Earthly angel and you're giving him heaven on Earth but he should return the favor and do something nice for you isn't this what it's all about I love your video and I understand and sometimes you can be used and that's when any and everybody my sister I pray that God will continually bless you to give but you can't be stupid and you have to keep track of your money but always remember God will bless you love you my sister May the peace and the blessings of almighty God forever be upon you
Thank you so much for your words
Are you African American.?
I was a human ATM machine
I feel you
Amen. Very good video with a lot of truth and good advice. Beautiful. Nice to see another fellow Kenyan. You look nice and like the makeup, too. The nails are lovely. Thank you for this video. Family back home think we're making a lot of money here in America. I even had a family member who kept wanting me to send money to Kenya. I think she thinks I have a good chunk of money left over every month, but that's just not the case.
You: Have your family ever treated you like a money tree?
Me: if you allow it!
Sister I am from Europe and it's a same sh.t everywhere! No matter what you doing in your life. If y working abroad, you become privat ATM for your family. Disconnect your number. Only working solution for this problem. Don't try to analyze or explain to them, no point. Just disconnect your self physically and most importantly, mentally.
Yes they have until the last dollar was picked off of my branch😒😕how sad🐘
Simple solutions! Stop giving family members money. Why should you be worried or responsible taking care of another grown person smdh
Oh, my goodness my heart hurts for you. This is so helpful.
Oh my God is this happening to many. U don’t know how my family in Africa makes me guilty. It’s like we get money on trees. I thought it was only me. And they can’t ask it for a business !
I can relate. I'm working abroad and my brother always asks me for money. He only calls and messages me for money. even if you just sent money but later ask for it again. very abusive. no matter what help I do it just goes to nothing. just over and over again, it's too tiring. he is not only wasting money but also the effort you spent to earn the money. He has no mercy even for our parents. Until now, he has left all his responsibilities to my parents, of course, I am also struggling because I support my parents. Is it right that I just blocked him ? because I'm tired of his behavior 😢
My main problem is mother and sisters always wanting money from me. I’ve given my mother and sisters money to start a business and help themselves but they’re always doing something else with the business money and coming back to ask me for money. I am tired and done with them. 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
I'm was very sad listening you cos I can relate to it . Xo
tell your women relatives to start a in-house daycare and charge the working woman in their communities to watch their young children while they're working. If you send them 10.000 tell them to buy a used vehicle fix it up and use it as a taxi. or buy a used vehicle and sell it than use that money to buy two more old cars fix them up & sell them keep that going untill you have a used car dealership own by your Kenyan family.
Those are the projects she's talking about that never materialize or even get started at all.
@The Cozy Me. Been there and what I learnt is to move on. As we say in dholuo 'wat iriwo gi osiep'. 2 years ago I was so depressed and I became so ill now i don't talk to them given them a break to think. Jah bless
I've learnt to keep off, the hard way.
It’s sad. Who bewitched Africans? Sadly it’s taken me 22 yrs to shake off this behavior but this yr I said enough is enough! I ain’t sending a dime to nobody! Same family doesn’t even call me. I have to be the one calling them but ironically they need my money! Hungry bunch of wolves that will never have enough no matter what you do! 😡
Like what you have just said.I like to help but i see that as soon as we bring our help to money many troubles would rise like hospital bills when no one is sick.
I told one of my relative who loves Maria so much but has no truth, to come join me and when coming, she should get a solid bag so that when we go to fetch money, no one would strip it from us. I gave her money, when she bought the bag, she proudly confirmed it. I bought her ticket believe me when i saw her in the airport, i did not recorgnize her because of the cap that of the Queen is smaller..
When she came into my house, the first day, no problem, the nest day to the 3rd day she was worried.
She dresses like a mass keeper i had to correct her. I told her to bring a cutlass a rain boot and that cap, then we drove to the farm, i opened the gate and began to cuting my own grass she nearly collaps, i incourage her ro cut faster so when owner of the farm comes he would give us money. We cut, cut and cut till 12 noon, no one came. That is who to teach them lesson.
You need to bring them here some use to run back when they see snow. When she goes back, she will tell them, foolish things.
People in love with money. All you have is your health and all that God or nature gave you. I find it amazing that spirit keeps giving to us and asks nothing in return. We keep polluting, destroying, wars, taking and taking. When will we realize the air we breath and all the beautiful nature, food and family and friends is all that is important??🌍🌍🌍
I have an Aunt who has done nothing her whole life but do drugs and be in prison and asks everyone to help her out and does nothing for herself.
Very interesting video :)
I know of a situation where a person was used by his African family. A particular person from his family was contacting him. Contacting him about these so-called "emergency situations." I belive most of the situations was fake. I believe a ploy to take money from him. Yes, he was being scammed.
Never send money in a rush. Take time to see if their story is valid. If "emergency situations" are happening more than then they should, chances are, they are probably trying to scam you. it is okay to send money. It is up to you on how much you want to send. Make sure your life is okay and stable.
WE NEED A PART 2 to this video
Will do
You are so correct!
I did watch your video 5 times full of knowledge about family 100 % true
I’m glad you are watching my videos
Well said sister
Spot on dada.Am Kenyan too.Thank you.
Here's the sad thing , now that I've lost my job after 7 years of working so hard to keep my family happy ( now I am 26) they barely show me the support, they still want my savings like I am not job hunting. They still want me to pay for my step sis's college tuition . I haven't even asked a cent from them yet God I believe is showing me their true colours before elevation - African child WE ALL COULD reach our full potential and elevate to a higher standard of life as the next generation if we learn to say NO.
Look at your own family , what did they do for their own parents? - most of you here in the comments are experiencing this abuse too. Why are we renovating their houses, buying them cars and building for them when we don't have our own financial flexibility , before building businesses , before investing , before clearing those student loans ?
Stop all financial aid. It's all ur choice.
trust me it happens in Morocco too. I can relate to "you're in hell".
I’m telling you it’s frustrating
Very insightful.
thanks buddy
I am gonna do that honey,cut the communication completely. They are toxic
Facts
This is easy.. Pretend you're broke, even when u have... be very good at it.. and do so for at least 4 years.
You'll know who's for real by then...
📬 great content
My daughter brought me here .....icame to my family like atrea money
Well said
you are so right girl my god am dealing with this now just been asked again for money
Cutting them off it's easer said than done. M on the fence with my Dad about this. It's so sad but m so so very fedup
I get you
Love you .you said it all.👍👍👍👍👍
❤️
We are caught in the middle of thinking tribally or from a societal perspective where we are individuals with our own responsibilities. But from a tribal perspective the women move from one tribe to another. They are not obligated to their old tribe anymore. I suppose the dowry was about acknowledging that she was raised by her old tribe.
Selfish people don't care about your well-being. They care what they can get. I think this is part of narcissism.
If you send the money… they will eat the money… typical 🙄. I am tired of providing for 13 people .. and when I don’t have from my end… nobody can help
I feel you! And they keep making babies, and expecting you to take care of them 🤦🏾♀️
True talk
The stupidest thing is to think you're actually investing in the bond with you and your sibling when he guilts you to lend money any way. Only fools give in to this. In the long run he'll abandon you, because he doesn't wanna pay you back. I'd rather have my money still with me while my brother turns against me, then being broke while he abandons me any way.
Spot on!
Thanks for stopping by
Honestly your brother shouldn't even call himself a man because a real man would not beg his little sister for man
Money
I now hate them
Every week someone is sick needs dr review
Some aunt is starving haaaaaaaaaa😢😢😢😢😢
This video is healing
Don’t hate them just make a decision to give or not to give
Stop give the family money let them work if they using you cut them off, change ph number & forget them