E come se direbbe in italiano? Mi potresti dare anche qualche esempio, per favore? Lo sto imparando e questa espressione sarebbe divertente da usare, haha
When I came to Shenzhen I had no idea why so many people I met at church wanted to talk to me about their daughters until I got pushed into a room with one. Then grilled with questions by the mother after. I am not even good looking, but it still happens. This was something I was NOT prepared to handle.
@@windneo5640 There are 2 legally recognized churches and many secret illegal churches. Of the legal churches one is protestant and the other catholic.
I thought I was never going to get my ear to be able to understand Chinese; turns out, I just hadn't found your videos yet! Thank you for speaking so clearly and giving pinyin for everything!
When you know Chinese is not only A language: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, THERE ARE BLOODY MORE LANGUAGE THAN A MANDARIN, WE GOT CANTONESE, HAKKA SHANGHAINESE, MACANESE, ETC, ETC. DON’T YOU DARE SAY “I know how to speak Chinese” lol Btw, we have 9 pingying in Cantonese, it will be very easy for you to learn it (sarcastically)😊😊😊
Your portrayal of the mother opening the door to the empty-handed boyfriend was classic! It was the best facial expression acted out ever! Olived it! LoL
.......YES. I MOST CERTAINLY DO WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A CHINESE LADY FRIEND.. A ''''CHRISTIAN'''' PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP.... STARTING WITH YOU... THE GORGEOUS PRETTY TEACHER !!
Hello Shuoshuo, I feel the best translation for 撒交 "SA JIAO" is a combination of "Coquettish" and "Nag" Google translate says "Coquettish" my feeling is its "nagging". LOL
You are hilarious! Love your sense of humor and you are such a good actrice! After 6 years in China, we have just moved back to Europe and I was looking for videos so that my daughter, who grew up there and therefore is a native Chinese speaker, does not forget Chinese - or at least not so quickly. Luckily we found you, and now it is a daily activity to watch your "stand-up-comedies". Thank you
I think you should teach your daughter the tianannmen ‘incident’ and the Chinese civil war, both in Qing dynasty and the one which causes The original China retreated to Taiwan, which is the now, (of course) Taiwan. With now the communist party controlling the China, forming PRC which is relatable to Lenin from soviet Russia
I left China when I was about 5 years old and I still read and speak like a native. The thing that helped the most was watching Chinese dramas with the original language subtitles (that most Chinese shows have). It's really hard to keep up just watching language instruction videos, and even those who take weekend Chinese classes don't end up having a huge amount of competency. But shows are a way to learn and maintain the language without even trying, because you're engrossed in the story and are focused on enjoying the show and not on the language itself. If you have your daughter watch shows, make sure she chooses them and that they're ones she likes. Don't force her to watch them, but you can encourage it by making it a family activity. And do it before she actually starts losing her Chinese. Once she starts losing it, it will start feeling like a chore.
I've been dating a Chinese woman from Shenyang for almost a year now, and now I understand that sa jiao action. She got mad at me the first time I didn't respond to it, and I initially thought she was playing around acting like a little kid, since she jokes around a lot anyway. I finally got her to agree not to get mad at me for not understanding these kinds of things without at least explaining them to me. She doesn't do this one anymore though, possibly because I honestly dislike it. It appears childish. One thing my girlfriend does that you didn't mention (and may just be regional) is when she pretends she's mad at me for something and pretend-chokes me. When I didn't respond properly the first time to this, she got mad, and finally explained that I was supposed to act like I was being choked. I'm not sure what purpose this serves, but she likes it.
Girls that can play "sa jiao" are more popular in China. However, not every man likes it. A small percent of Chinese men also hate sajiao. Some girls, especially those want to show they are independent, don't play sajiao.
There's an element of helplessness or needing help. This triggers natural instincts in men to help or provide for a woman. I'm one of those that thinks it's cute and would make me think of ways to help.
At least the family relationships are pretty different from Northern Europe. After we leave our parents at 18, we only see them during Christmas and couldn't care less what they think after that. Also playing hard to get doesn't work, because getting rejected once is immediately understood as being rejected forever.
rejection has a time tag. rejection once does not mean rejection forever. it is understood in most part of the world. of course northern europeans have many more sex partners on average, they may not have the patience.
@@MrLuhuazhao playing hard to get is a sign of emotional immaturity. Even if there's an expiry date on rejection, most adults in the west don't want to date someone who has the mental age of a young teenager
When you know we have Christmas instead of the Chinese tradition in Hong Kong(former English colony which is the last of British empire, retreated in 1997 and gave it back to the wrong country, which Taiwan should’ve got it bc they were the people they have contract with) and in Macau(former Portugal colony, retreated in 1993)
I'm Chinese-American, about equally competent in both languages, and I don't think the term that she uses is best translated as "playing hard-to-get." I think 矜持 is better translated as being prudish and reserved. Although unlike the word "prude," 矜持 is often (not always) used in a positive manner to highlight someone's self-control and elegance.
@@flubadubdubthegreat1272It is not immature. It's all about CULTURE. Have you ever sat down and seriously searched and learned about Asian cultures? In most Asian cultures this is the norm and it is not seen as a sign of immaturity or something. That's how things work there. Calling a certain characteristics of a society "immature" only makes you ignorant. What would you think if somebody told you that all Westerners are just playboys/whores who only cares about sex just because Westerners make several girlfriends/boyfriends throughout their lives?? Well, at least that's what more than half of the world thinks about Westerners are like, not only Asians but many more as well. You can continue to be promiscuous and call it "maturity" as you want but do not try to discredit a culture without understanding it first.
I am an English guy and have been married to a Chinese girl for more than 20 years. I have lived in Shenzhen since 2005. And I can say that dating is just the beginning of understanding the cultural differences. Even now after all this time, we still get misunderstandings due to cultural differences. I don't advise entering into a relationship with a Chinese girl unless you are both willing to be flexible and really want to try to understand the other person. Not all, but most Chinese girls, only date with the intention of getting married. And most marry for financial or social status benefits, they do not need to love you. It's for security. It is also quite common now, for girls to divorce and re-marry to gain a higher financial status. Several of my wives friends have done this, and it's not considered to be a bad thing, most girls will completely understand the girl for doing it. Also children are Chinese people's social security, and this is why the pressure to get married and have children is pushed on them by their parents. Investment into children is like contributing to a pension plan. That's why Chinese parents push your children to do well at school. As a husband you may well be expected to help support her parents as well.
Frank Lee Power I feel that sa Jiao is more all-encompassing, and is not only restricted to pouting. It also includes acting coy, acting annoyed , basically anything to get the boyfriend to agree to something or to get his attention.
It's actually called "entreating". Theirs isn't just the face, or huff but the full action to get them to do what they want. Entreating is when you treat them by acting a certain way you know they like while asking them to do something you want. Their just happens to be the stereotypical Asian female "moue" (Which is basically a pout, but more exact of a word what she expressed)
great video! but there's one thing i want to correct is that 撒娇 is pronounced as 【sā jiāo】. 撒 is a word with different tone. normally we use the third tone (with the meaning of "scatter"), but here we should use the first tone to express "express"
Hello there! I am a Bengali boy learning Chinese. Well, for 撒嬌 we have a specific word highly used in Bengali which is "allad". I believe we have so much in common with Chinese people. But personally I don't know how will I react if my girlfriend acts like a little girl demanding what she wants haha. In Bangladesh there is a negative feeling towards this kind of attitude by men and women as they may appear selfish, not caring for their partner.
Not Chinese but American here also learning Chinese, just wanted to say your country is super interesting, hope to learn the language their and visit a lot :D Also one of my favorite flags ngl
In US and W Europe + etc?. there used to be moderate equivalent when women and girls were advised by tradition minded adults to act less knowledgeable and less competent to attract male desire to protect them, but this disappeared in 1960s with rebirth of feminist women s movement (though child like behavior would have been seen as shocking lack of mental development.)
Read the post he clearly says he’s from Bangladesh.. yea there are Bengali living in india but better not assume everyone is from india. Where are you from?
BIG Ask: People who are divorced or widows, (because I think there are also in China) and over 40,what rules do they follow in this case? I'm curious because obviously we always talk about young people, but in the East it always remains a mystery about how the so-called "second chances" are experienced :) Meanwhile, congratulations for the very interesting video!
"Serpentza", a South African who videoblogs about China and has a Chinese wife, says that Chinese women would not marry foreigners, except if they are in a way "broken", like having been divorced and so on.
@@Andreas-gh6is "Serpentza is not a good commentator on Chinese life. there are plenty of mainland Chinese women on dating sites of all ages. it is true that for some reason Chinese thing a divorced woman is second class, though not a divorced man, how i got my Chinese wife
I’m American and my Chinese boyfriend and I are 44. We both have been married before once. I have a grown daughter. He’s lived in the US since high school but still acts really traditional. He just gave me a rice cooker. “It’s 6 cups, not too big for your counter, but enough for three people.” Ah-ha. Point taken. Guess he really likes me! Besides that he taught me to say “I like you” in Chinese! ❤🥲
Ok South Africa, Us.. but I mean IN China! It's obviously that out China ,customs and habits are influenced by foreigner cultures... I want know if in China the things are changing or not. The impression I have is a very close mindful set about all that category of people " out the confucian society schemes,expecially for the women.. for example: great gap of age in couple where is the woman to be elder 10 or more; where is she to be divorce ,have growed sons ..and a great curiosity: a women over sixty( I've take this age because in Asia is usually considered very elder ) are still "in game"as in Western cultures, or as my impression ,are considered only " near the greve"?😆at last but not least: Chinese women marry western man often..what about man from western woman?I've heard that Chinese family doesn't agree western women...
All of your videos are excellent. And the one on why you left China elevated my level of respect for you; not because of the restrictions that you exposed but because of the determination that you exhibited about you following your dreams and finding happiness in your work. Of course, this video is very educational as well - thanks for making it.
Great video! As my wife parents don't like western food and I am also not crazy about Chinese 白酒, I always gift them with some bottles of 白酒 which I received as a gift as well😂
Then try/gift them some 米酒 (rice wine) or 梅酒(if I’m not mistaken, it’s berry wine) (I’m just a 12 years old btw, I don’t drink wine but I guess that’s what some adults like lol)
I'm so overwhelmed with your material... Positively overwhelmed 😊. Beside your ability to make Chinese grammar easy (like your teachs 了 character) in every of your videos literally every I laugh loudly because you have great sense of humour and I think you're gifted and granted to be pleasant... I'm sincerely appreciat for your contents... You have amazing talent even for being actress... In that case I will be your fan... Loyal fan...❤
I think you are partially correct on the cute/protect analysis. Plus, after working, super focused like a robot all day, it is nice to be yanked/pulled back into a fun life and turn the pouty face into a big smile. 😇😎😇
About 7 months ago I was contacted by a Chinese woman , about 42, We spoke for hours and that was months ago, and the relationship has thrived. I feel I am in love with one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen and it looks like it is mutual. Problem I have run into is the differemce in cultures. It is a very real thing and I have inadvertantly insulted my love more than several times and am constantly apologizing. It is really very hard and constant mistakes cannot be avoided in the beginning. But after a while it has come together. I thank G-D for her patience although an argument could be made that on occasion her p
Great video!! From my understanding, "sa jiao" corresponds to "aegyo" in Korean culture. We can describe it roughly as acting in a cute way in order to get attention.
What if you've already met their parents like back when you were just friends and hadn't thought of dating? Or is the parents meeting more like an official introduction to the relationship?
Your video is very useful. I would like to share my experience. My parent came from china. I was born and have grown in Bangkok, Thailand. Some Chinese culture has been a little bit changed. Some parent will advise their son and daughter how to select the life partner. However, they will accept the self-decision of their son and daughter. The most important is that the couple live happily with each other.
If many westerners watching this and think, "These practices are bizarre", I as an asian myself just wanna say, "Well that's the asian relationship" and YES it really happens.
I have met an incredible Chinese American man. I noticed that his communication style is quite different (in a very good way) and it made me curious about cultural differences. We are in ai mei right now. He is not flirty at all but he has multiple dates scheduled with me this month.
Excellent video! You seem to posses a rare combination of acting talent, solid linguistic knowledge, and good presentation skills. And yes, your consummate charm does help too. You are well beyond most of the rest of the crowd. Many thanks for your work!
Your audience is not only 20 somethings, and I’m sure I’m not the only person who has been married before. A lot of people are widowed/divorced and we’re more likely to be meeting someone’s children than their parents. Maybe you could do a lesson for those of us who are older? You’re such a good actor I’m sure you can do it!
This was really interesting and entertaining. I live in Taiwan and got married here. We've switched between Taiwan and the UK many times, but now we have 3 kids we settled down in Taiwan. About pouting, I've found guys over here don't like it. Too childish. They seem to like woman who can earn money and look to the future. My wife didn't really do it, but I think it's because she went to the UK to study for many years and understood what works and what does not. The pouting is funny for a short time but In the back of my mind I do think, 'grow up.' Meeting my parent-in-laws for the first time was funny, as I wasn't a doctor so 'Mama' wasn't so impressed in the beginning. 'Papa' he is so relaxed and was just happy his third daughter found someone :-) That was 20 years ago and everything is great. The key is persistence and be truthful. Mama always wants the best for her daughters.
Always be Respectful and very Sincere. Remember - if she says No or she's not interested, - Don't become a stalker or become angry and annoying. Be an Adult and act like a grown-man. Women typically have more options then men, so ultimately it's their choice. You will meet someone else. Stay Safe NYC
I met my girlfriend, who is from 广西, in College and on our second date she asked me if I loved her. I didn't know what to say. I'm certainly more open to commitment than many Americans, but I still felt it was early. I later learned she was asking me so early because she wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing other girls. 😂
Hi 说说，in English, some people use the phrase "a Chinese" to mean “一个中国人", but actually, it's only the words for nationalities that end with the letter "n" that can be used as nouns for people. For example, we can say an American, a Russian, a German, or a Korean, but it's not really right to say a French, a British, or a Chinese to talk about a person. For these, you need to say a French person, a British person, or a Chinese person.
@@cristoferchanimak I hadn't thought of that. Some black people that I've known, however, do prefer to refer to themselves as "blacks", although it may not be, as you said, grammatically correct.
Great explanation of Chinese dating concepts, and the vocabulary is good to know! At what point do sons and daughters tell their parents about who they like, they're pursuing or who they are dating? 撒娇 is a kind of playful flirtation. Aside from being able to provide, 撒娇 sets up an easy scenario where both parties know exactly what the other person wants--there's no guessing and the rewards for both parties are immediate. So I think 撒娇 is desirable because it's a fun, familiar way for everyone to get rewarded for their actions (a purse for her; praise for him). Of course, as you said, whether a couple likes 撒娇 is up to their own dynamic.
Many children won't talk about their romantic life with their parents, if you are pursuing someone or like someone, normally your parents won't know about that. Some people tell parents that there IS a person they are dating but they won't officially meet.
Is a hypocracy spciety..they date their classmates secretly and pretend to be friends...date old men choose by parents and pretend to be virgen....then find a guy with money and marry..get money and/or nationality and then divorce or have children depending on how lazy she is...sex is only provide to catch the guy and have babies..then forget you have a penis or find a lover..either way they dont cae as long as it dies not diminish their allowance
6:35 I think your theory is probably not far off. An attraction towards a "protector/protected" sort of relationship dynamic, is in some form quite common across the world I think, though from what I can tell, where I live, it tends to be more the girls who look for a boyfriend with attributes of a protector (tall, physically fit, etc), than guys wanting a 撒娇ing girlfriend. I think in particular the girl acting childish is not something guys here tend to be into. Obviously things differ greatly from person to person ^^
Thank you for your videos , it's such a pleasure to watch them, they contain so many new interesting things for me. Keep going 😊 looking forward to watching more😍
Hi! So I've been going out with a chinese girl for a few times now but I've noticed something weird. After everytime we go out, she would suddenly turn cold on me, for example, not respond to messages as quickly. When we are together she seems like the most nicest, caring girl. Although we have gone out, we have not crossed the 'touching' stage. and have not held hands or whatsoever. She is the first Chinese girl I've gone out with, and I'm confused if this is Aimei. Also not sure about chinese dating, but if she goes cold(not respond to message as much etc), is it expected of me to pursue?
Thank you for the advice, it's really useful to know what should have to say or what to do as trying to get into a relationship with someone who is from your country 😃👍
Sa Jiao doesn't really have word just a slang term which would be " attention getter" or the phrase" puppy eyes" also works as in when a puppy gives you that look you can't refuse even after you scratched his belly a 100 times.
Nice video and I can learn new words! It's really sad to see many of my friends in China which are 剩女 (leftover woman, what a cruel word btw) not because they actually are, but it's the society that says so. Some of them are really under pressure.
I think allot of Asian cultures are similar. I live in Cambodia and you basically explained how dating works here. From playing hard to get to gift giving (especially iPhone) and meeting the parents. When I meet someone new they don't ask me what is my name or how old are you. They ask me if I am married yet and how much money I make.
I’m a little bit confused, I don’t know if my “ex-boyfriend “ behavior is part of the Chinese culture or not, but we have been dating only for 1 week, and he says I don’t love him because I don’t move with him right away (he is 37). But he barely knows my Chinese name , he doesn’t bother to get to know me , how can I live with someone who I just met, and doesn’t want to know me first ? Am I wrong ??? Am I too western ?
Daniel Richardson I don’t think there’s a culture on this planet where you just see someone, you date twice, you fall in love and want to live with that person right away without knowing anything about each other (we have to use a translator for those few times I wanted to order something at the restaurant). I just wanted to make sure that I was right about not accepting his love -lol
With friends you can just be casual. Wishing someone good morning with no additional context shows affection. Good night as well. But sending those messages without further context to her/his parents out of politness... would be weird, to say the least. This coincides with all the modern cultures i have met so far
hahaha, best video ever!!!, Well... now I´m not sure if I´m ready to fall in love with a beautiful Chinese woman... I really love this video, you are amazing!!! .
i am 26 years old i am single but i never thought about dating and my mom wanted me to get married although i been focusing on my life most friend talk to me getting a girlfriend already and somefriend on facebook or working mate
撒娇 Seems to be the same as the Korean Aegyo. Aegyo has kind of morphed to be just acting cute in general regardless of gender but it was originally used more for girls acting like that with boyfriends. It's also similar to how kids will act cute or whiny to get what they want too.
Lol your “Mum” character is just like my Chinese mother-in-law. I now have a good job, own an apartment and married her daughter but now she wants a grandchild because my wife is over 30. I’m younger and am not ready but she is putting pressure on my wife to have a kid. I guess that’s a big culture difference as here in the UK, there is no pressure to have children or get married.
Amazing video, as usual :D Next time I'll go to China I will probably meet my gf's parents, this video gave me the right amount of anxiety about it ahahahah. What kind of presents are usually brought in these kinds of situations? 🤔
Your channel is really exceptional! I wanted to m̶a̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ subscribe, but I've already subscribed :) BTW I also love your choice of Chinese fonts in your videos!
Hello. I'd like to ask a question. In terms of meeting each other parents in Chinese culture, is it usually the man who brings his gf first, or is it the woman? Thank you for your answer🙂
老师好 . I am Chinese American and so I can relate to some of the things mentioned. Thank you for your fine acting; I got some laughs out it. Your mom is pretty; I have an image of what you may look like years from now. I learned some useful vocabulary words from this video. Thanks again!
I am Australian and I have been dating a Chinese woman in her 50s for about 3 weeks now. But I'm confused ? She has brought a few times when I will buy a house,so we can be together in just a few months. Us Australians like to get to know how partners and then maybe get married in a few years time. I am put off by these demands so early. We love each other very much but these constant questions are hindering my confidence to continue this relationship?
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
There is a way of saying in Italy for this sort of visit."You must knock on the door with you feet."(Hands are busy with keeping presents")
lol thats a nice one.
Haha love it!
E come se direbbe in italiano? Mi potresti dare anche qualche esempio, per favore? Lo sto imparando e questa espressione sarebbe divertente da usare, haha
@@davidmolina5758
In italiano si dice "Devi bussare con il piede"
Mai sentita bro. Di dove sei?
When I came to Shenzhen I had no idea why so many people I met at church wanted to talk to me about their daughters until I got pushed into a room with one. Then grilled with questions by the mother after. I am not even good looking, but it still happens. This was something I was NOT prepared to handle.
Hahaha! Maybe you will find your miss right there!
Am in shenzhen too and i have never found a church to attend pls help
@@samkay8296 u can attend mosque .
Wait, What ?!! there's a church in China ?
@@windneo5640 There are 2 legally recognized churches and many secret illegal churches. Of the legal churches one is protestant and the other catholic.
"If you are 25 and you are single and even you enjoy to be single, remember your parents don't"😂😂 it's interesting
Well you wouldn't be enjoying your life without them, so how else you going to repay them?
@@WM-eg4gh who told you we should repay them? Do you think we are born already in debt? lol
@@UnknownPerson-og6hm Where does we come into this. I'm talking to one person. Ever considered that?
That is more common than thought. I'm not from Asia and in my country people used to think like that not that long ago. It's how grandmas viewed life.
@It's time Clearly you didn't get the point.
I thought I was never going to get my ear to be able to understand Chinese; turns out, I just hadn't found your videos yet! Thank you for speaking so clearly and giving pinyin for everything!
Then u go to China realize everyone is speaking in their dialect and u don't understand it anyways LOL
@@ShawkyJames Lmao honestly true
When you know Chinese is not only A language:
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, THERE ARE BLOODY MORE LANGUAGE THAN A MANDARIN, WE GOT CANTONESE, HAKKA SHANGHAINESE, MACANESE, ETC, ETC. DON’T YOU DARE SAY “I know how to speak Chinese”
lol
Btw, we have 9 pingying in Cantonese, it will be very easy for you to learn it (sarcastically)😊😊😊
Your portrayal of the mother opening the door to the empty-handed boyfriend was classic! It was the best facial expression acted out ever! Olived it! LoL
Your lessons are amazing and really helpful, you deserve more subscribers
Thank you, I think so too! Haha
So far this is the best channel to learn Chinese , so helpful. 非常感谢。
The situations mentioned in this video happened to both daughters and sons, mothers and fathers. I acted as daughter and mother only because I'm lazy!
.......YES. I MOST CERTAINLY DO WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A CHINESE LADY FRIEND..
A ''''CHRISTIAN'''' PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP....
STARTING WITH YOU...
THE GORGEOUS PRETTY
TEACHER !!
Hello Shuoshuo, I feel the best translation for 撒交 "SA JIAO" is a combination of "Coquettish" and "Nag" Google translate says "Coquettish" my feeling is its "nagging". LOL
You did the mom so well. The side glance, perfect.
You're so adorable. New sub here
Korean girls have the equivalent of sǎ jiāo it's like a pouty type attitude like that 😂
Thank you, this might be one of the most important videos I'll ever watch.
Haha!
我的妻子從來沒有撒嬌，可能山東人沒有那樣的習慣⋯⋯
Same
You are hilarious! Love your sense of humor and you are such a good actrice! After 6 years in China, we have just moved back to Europe and I was looking for videos so that my daughter, who grew up there and therefore is a native Chinese speaker, does not forget Chinese - or at least not so quickly. Luckily we found you, and now it is a daily activity to watch your "stand-up-comedies". Thank you
I think you should teach your daughter the tianannmen ‘incident’ and the Chinese civil war, both in Qing dynasty and the one which causes The original China retreated to Taiwan, which is the now, (of course) Taiwan. With now the communist party controlling the China, forming PRC which is relatable to Lenin from soviet Russia
I left China when I was about 5 years old and I still read and speak like a native. The thing that helped the most was watching Chinese dramas with the original language subtitles (that most Chinese shows have). It's really hard to keep up just watching language instruction videos, and even those who take weekend Chinese classes don't end up having a huge amount of competency. But shows are a way to learn and maintain the language without even trying, because you're engrossed in the story and are focused on enjoying the show and not on the language itself. If you have your daughter watch shows, make sure she chooses them and that they're ones she likes. Don't force her to watch them, but you can encourage it by making it a family activity. And do it before she actually starts losing her Chinese. Once she starts losing it, it will start feeling like a chore.
Shuoshuo does an excellent job explaining these specific Chinese cultural characteristics, and, she is such a sweetie!
I've been dating a Chinese woman from Shenyang for almost a year now, and now I understand that sa jiao action. She got mad at me the first time I didn't respond to it, and I initially thought she was playing around acting like a little kid, since she jokes around a lot anyway. I finally got her to agree not to get mad at me for not understanding these kinds of things without at least explaining them to me. She doesn't do this one anymore though, possibly because I honestly dislike it. It appears childish.
One thing my girlfriend does that you didn't mention (and may just be regional) is when she pretends she's mad at me for something and pretend-chokes me. When I didn't respond properly the first time to this, she got mad, and finally explained that I was supposed to act like I was being choked. I'm not sure what purpose this serves, but she likes it.
That's funny, thr pretend choking and that you were supposed to be dying of it.
Girls that can play "sa jiao" are more popular in China. However, not every man likes it. A small percent of Chinese men also hate sajiao. Some girls, especially those want to show they are independent, don't play sajiao.
Does she choke you during sex?
There's an element of helplessness or needing help. This triggers natural instincts in men to help or provide for a woman. I'm one of those that thinks it's cute and would make me think of ways to help.
At least the family relationships are pretty different from Northern Europe. After we leave our parents at 18, we only see them during Christmas and couldn't care less what they think after that. Also playing hard to get doesn't work, because getting rejected once is immediately understood as being rejected forever.
rejection has a time tag. rejection once does not mean rejection forever. it is understood in most part of the world. of course northern europeans have many more sex partners on average, they may not have the patience.
@@MrLuhuazhao playing hard to get is a sign of emotional immaturity. Even if there's an expiry date on rejection, most adults in the west don't want to date someone who has the mental age of a young teenager
When you know we have Christmas instead of the Chinese tradition in Hong Kong(former English colony which is the last of British empire, retreated in 1997 and gave it back to the wrong country, which Taiwan should’ve got it bc they were the people they have contract with) and in Macau(former Portugal colony, retreated in 1993)
I'm Chinese-American, about equally competent in both languages, and I don't think the term that she uses is best translated as "playing hard-to-get." I think 矜持 is better translated as being prudish and reserved. Although unlike the word "prude," 矜持 is often (not always) used in a positive manner to highlight someone's self-control and elegance.
@@flubadubdubthegreat1272It is not immature. It's all about CULTURE. Have you ever sat down and seriously searched and learned about Asian cultures? In most Asian cultures this is the norm and it is not seen as a sign of immaturity or something. That's how things work there. Calling a certain characteristics of a society "immature" only makes you ignorant. What would you think if somebody told you that all Westerners are just playboys/whores who only cares about sex just because Westerners make several girlfriends/boyfriends throughout their lives?? Well, at least that's what more than half of the world thinks about Westerners are like, not only Asians but many more as well. You can continue to be promiscuous and call it "maturity" as you want but do not try to discredit a culture without understanding it first.
I am an English guy and have been married to a Chinese girl for more than 20 years. I have lived in Shenzhen since 2005. And I can say that dating is just the beginning of understanding the cultural differences. Even now after all this time, we still get misunderstandings due to cultural differences. I don't advise entering into a relationship with a Chinese girl unless you are both willing to be flexible and really want to try to understand the other person. Not all, but most Chinese girls, only date with the intention of getting married. And most marry for financial or social status benefits, they do not need to love you. It's for security. It is also quite common now, for girls to divorce and re-marry to gain a higher financial status. Several of my wives friends have done this, and it's not considered to be a bad thing, most girls will completely understand the girl for doing it. Also children are Chinese people's social security, and this is why the pressure to get married and have children is pushed on them by their parents. Investment into children is like contributing to a pension plan. That's why Chinese parents push your children to do well at school. As a husband you may well be expected to help support her parents as well.
The last thing could be solved by introducing a secured retirement schemes in China. Obviously it's not that easy, I know
卧槽，你算中国通了
So, they don't marry for ❤?
Thank you for letting us know. What a relief!
北京女生不同意你说的一部分，有女儿的父母希望女儿嫁给经济实力高的男性绝大部分只是希望女儿过的好，而不是为自己的养老向子女索取什么金钱上的回报，中国父母是典型的为孩子着想不考虑自己的，在中国社会福利不高，所以金钱是幸福的关键，房子车子看病最基本的生活保障和开销都需要钱，父母很现实，很多人觉得面包比爱情更重要，如果女方本身就很有经济实力他们都怕找一个经济上不如自己的男生会分走他们的财富，或者这个男方的穷亲戚会不容易相处，所以不管原生家庭有钱还是没钱的女性都希望匹配一个家境好的男性，只是为了以后生活的更幸福，在中国财富自由灵魂才能自由
My life makes a whole lot more sense after watching this video
So now you have some idea how it all works....and may have to change your screen name.
"Pout" might be a good word for "sa jiao". What a child does went he/she doesn't get what they want or told no they can't have something.
Frank Lee Power I feel that sa Jiao is more all-encompassing, and is not only restricted to pouting. It also includes acting coy, acting annoyed , basically anything to get the boyfriend to agree to something or to get his attention.
Pout is the correct word. Well done
I also think “pouting” or “to pout” is the correct word.
It's related to having the guy "wrapped around her little finger," though she says the guys like being put in that position.
It's actually called "entreating". Theirs isn't just the face, or huff but the full action to get them to do what they want. Entreating is when you treat them by acting a certain way you know they like while asking them to do something you want. Their just happens to be the stereotypical Asian female "moue" (Which is basically a pout, but more exact of a word what she expressed)
great video! but there's one thing i want to correct is that 撒娇 is pronounced as 【sā jiāo】. 撒 is a word with different tone. normally we use the third tone (with the meaning of "scatter"), but here we should use the first tone to express "express"
Hello there! I am a Bengali boy learning Chinese. Well, for 撒嬌 we have a specific word highly used in Bengali which is "allad". I believe we have so much in common with Chinese people. But personally I don't know how will I react if my girlfriend acts like a little girl demanding what she wants haha. In Bangladesh there is a negative feeling towards this kind of attitude by men and women as they may appear selfish, not caring for their partner.
Not Chinese but American here also learning Chinese, just wanted to say your country is super interesting, hope to learn the language their and visit a lot :D
Also one of my favorite flags ngl
Bengali you're from India right?
@@vinitasingh7481 Bangladesh is a separate country, no?
In US and W Europe + etc?. there used to be moderate equivalent when women and girls were advised by tradition minded adults
to act less knowledgeable and less
competent to attract male desire to protect them, but this disappeared in 1960s with rebirth of feminist women s movement
(though child like behavior would
have been seen as shocking lack
of mental development.)
Read the post he clearly says he’s from Bangladesh.. yea there are Bengali living in india but better not assume everyone is from india. Where are you from?
This video was so helpful and very entertaining! Thank you for helping me understand more Chinese language and culture!
I'm not even sure why I watched this. I barely go out, let alone talk to people. I couldn't tell you what dating is like over here
What do u mean mr Batman
Lets play gamr
@@gushuiling7200 What game do you want to play?
BIG Ask: People who are divorced or widows, (because I think there are also in China) and over 40,what rules do they follow in this case? I'm curious because obviously we always talk about young people, but in the East it always remains a mystery about how the so-called "second chances" are experienced :) Meanwhile, congratulations for the very interesting video!
"Serpentza", a South African who videoblogs about China and has a Chinese wife, says that Chinese women would not marry foreigners, except if they are in a way "broken", like having been divorced and so on.
@@Andreas-gh6is this abut woman, but about man?
@@Andreas-gh6is "Serpentza is not a good commentator on Chinese life.
there are plenty of mainland Chinese women on dating sites of all ages.
it is true that for some reason Chinese thing a divorced woman is second class, though not a divorced man, how i got my Chinese wife
I’m American and my Chinese boyfriend and I are 44. We both have been married before once. I have a grown daughter. He’s lived in the US since high school but still acts really traditional. He just gave me a rice cooker. “It’s 6 cups, not too big for your counter, but enough for three people.” Ah-ha. Point taken. Guess he really likes me! Besides that he taught me to say “I like you” in Chinese! ❤🥲
Ok South Africa, Us.. but I mean IN China! It's obviously that out China ,customs and habits are influenced by foreigner cultures... I want know if in China the things are changing or not. The impression I have is a very close mindful set about all that category of people " out the confucian society schemes,expecially for the women.. for example: great gap of age in couple where is the woman to be elder 10 or more; where is she to be divorce ,have growed sons ..and a great curiosity: a women over sixty( I've take this age because in Asia is usually considered very elder ) are still "in game"as in Western cultures, or as my impression ,are considered only " near the greve"?😆at last but not least: Chinese women marry western man often..what about man from western woman?I've heard that Chinese family doesn't agree western women...
compliments, this video is very well made and interesting!
All of your videos are excellent. And the one on why you left China elevated my level of respect for you; not because of the restrictions that you exposed but because of the determination that you exhibited about you following your dreams and finding happiness in your work. Of course, this video is very educational as well - thanks for making it.
Great video! As my wife parents don't like western food and I am also not crazy about Chinese 白酒, I always gift them with some bottles of 白酒 which I received as a gift as well😂
Then try/gift them some 米酒 (rice wine) or 梅酒(if I’m not mistaken, it’s berry wine)
(I’m just a 12 years old btw, I don’t drink wine but I guess that’s what some adults like lol)
Very helpful! The acting is very good! Thank you 🙏🏼
I'm so overwhelmed with your material... Positively overwhelmed 😊. Beside your ability to make Chinese grammar easy (like your teachs 了 character) in every of your videos literally every I laugh loudly because you have great sense of humour and I think you're gifted and granted to be pleasant... I'm sincerely appreciat for your contents... You have amazing talent even for being actress... In that case I will be your fan... Loyal fan...❤
I think you are partially correct on the cute/protect analysis. Plus, after working, super focused like a robot all day, it is nice to be yanked/pulled back into a fun life and turn the pouty face into a big smile.
😇😎😇
About 7 months ago I was contacted by a Chinese woman , about 42, We spoke for hours and that was months ago, and the relationship has thrived. I feel I am in love with one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen and it looks like it is mutual. Problem I have run into is the differemce in cultures. It is a very real thing and I have inadvertantly insulted my love more than several times and am constantly apologizing. It is really very hard and constant mistakes cannot be avoided in the beginning. But after a while it has come together. I thank G-D for her patience although an argument could be made that on occasion her p
Great video!! From my understanding, "sa jiao" corresponds to "aegyo" in Korean culture. We can describe it roughly as acting in a cute way in order to get attention.
What if you've already met their parents like back when you were just friends and hadn't thought of dating? Or is the parents meeting more like an official introduction to the relationship?
Your video is very useful. I would like to share my experience. My parent came from china. I was born and have grown in Bangkok, Thailand. Some Chinese culture has been a little bit changed. Some parent will advise their son and daughter how to select the life partner. However, they will accept the self-decision of their son and daughter. The most important is that the couple live happily with each other.
you're really a good actress, thanks for the vid!!
You have great presence on video e.g. "exhibit A", "i will act it out"
If many westerners watching this and think, "These practices are bizarre", I as an asian myself just wanna say, "Well that's the asian relationship" and YES it really happens.
I have met an incredible Chinese American man. I noticed that his communication style is quite different (in a very good way) and it made me curious about cultural differences.
We are in ai mei right now.
He is not flirty at all but he has multiple dates scheduled with me this month.
lol, You're brilliant.
Thank you so much for your videos. I've learned so much from you already, so keep up the good work.
Such an underrated channel!
Excellent video! You seem to posses a rare combination of acting talent, solid linguistic knowledge, and good presentation skills. And yes, your consummate charm does help too. You are well beyond most of the rest of the crowd. Many thanks for your work!
You are so funny. Loved "nude photos of animals!"
Your audience is not only 20 somethings, and I’m sure I’m not the only person who has been married before. A lot of people are widowed/divorced and we’re more likely to be meeting someone’s children than their parents. Maybe you could do a lesson for those of us who are older? You’re such a good actor I’m sure you can do it!
This cracked me up oh my god.
Super helpful, too! Thank you
First time I have come across your channel. This video was informative, clever and amusing! Subscribed! The "Mother" was hilarious!
You nailed it, your interpretations are spot on. I was laughing my ass off all throughout.
I tried avoiding dating when I was here but I did meet some really nice girl.
Could have really used this video back when I was dating.
Your acting is awesome haha!!
This was really interesting and entertaining.
I live in Taiwan and got married here. We've switched between Taiwan and the UK many times, but now we have 3 kids we settled down in Taiwan.
About pouting, I've found guys over here don't like it. Too childish. They seem to like woman who can earn money and look to the future.
My wife didn't really do it, but I think it's because she went to the UK to study for many years and understood what works and what does not.
The pouting is funny for a short time but In the back of my mind I do think, 'grow up.'
Meeting my parent-in-laws for the first time was funny, as I wasn't a doctor so 'Mama' wasn't so impressed in the beginning.
'Papa' he is so relaxed and was just happy his third daughter found someone :-)
That was 20 years ago and everything is great.
The key is persistence and be truthful.
Mama always wants the best for her daughters.
Always be Respectful and very Sincere. Remember - if she says No or she's not interested, - Don't become a stalker or become angry and annoying. Be an Adult and act like a grown-man. Women typically have more options then men, so ultimately it's their choice. You will meet someone else. Stay Safe NYC
6:10 so is it kinda a chinese "aegyo" or sth like that ? 😅🤦♀️
exactly！
True
I met my girlfriend, who is from 广西, in College and on our second date she asked me if I loved her. I didn't know what to say. I'm certainly more open to commitment than many Americans, but I still felt it was early. I later learned she was asking me so early because she wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing other girls. 😂
Hi 说说，in English, some people use the phrase "a Chinese" to mean “一个中国人", but actually, it's only the words for nationalities that end with the letter "n" that can be used as nouns for people. For example, we can say an American, a Russian, a German, or a Korean, but it's not really right to say a French, a British, or a Chinese to talk about a person. For these, you need to say a French person, a British person, or a Chinese person.
Agreed. When you say “a Chinese,” it sounds offensive because Chinese can not be used as a noun. It’s like saying “a gay” and “a black.”
@@cristoferchanimak I hadn't thought of that. Some black people that I've known, however, do prefer to refer to themselves as "blacks", although it may not be, as you said, grammatically correct.
Great explanation of Chinese dating concepts, and the vocabulary is good to know! At what point do sons and daughters tell their parents about who they like, they're pursuing or who they are dating?
撒娇 is a kind of playful flirtation. Aside from being able to provide, 撒娇 sets up an easy scenario where both parties know exactly what the other person wants--there's no guessing and the rewards for both parties are immediate. So I think 撒娇 is desirable because it's a fun, familiar way for everyone to get rewarded for their actions (a purse for her; praise for him). Of course, as you said, whether a couple likes 撒娇 is up to their own dynamic.
Many children won't talk about their romantic life with their parents, if you are pursuing someone or like someone, normally your parents won't know about that. Some people tell parents that there IS a person they are dating but they won't officially meet.
Is a hypocracy spciety..they date their classmates secretly and pretend to be friends...date old men choose by parents and pretend to be virgen....then find a guy with money and marry..get money and/or nationality and then divorce or have children depending on how lazy she is...sex is only provide to catch the guy and have babies..then forget you have a penis or find a lover..either way they dont cae as long as it dies not diminish their allowance
What a wonderful video. I just started dating a native Chinese girl and I would have blown it. Thank you so much.
Thanks for clearing a few things up.
Thank you, after seeing this video. Now i fully understand my mistake with empty handed. I hope theres a video more like this
6:35 I think your theory is probably not far off. An attraction towards a "protector/protected" sort of relationship dynamic, is in some form quite common across the world I think, though from what I can tell, where I live, it tends to be more the girls who look for a boyfriend with attributes of a protector (tall, physically fit, etc), than guys wanting a 撒娇ing girlfriend. I think in particular the girl acting childish is not something guys here tend to be into.
Obviously things differ greatly from person to person ^^
Thank you for your videos , it's such a pleasure to watch them, they contain so many new interesting things for me. Keep going 😊 looking forward to watching more😍
Interesting topic! 👍 💕
😊
Both of you are my favourite 😍
Alex Jonathan
To understand people and feelings is important and smart.
Hi! So I've been going out with a chinese girl for a few times now but I've noticed something weird. After everytime we go out, she would suddenly turn cold on me, for example, not respond to messages as quickly. When we are together she seems like the most nicest, caring girl. Although we have gone out, we have not crossed the 'touching' stage. and have not held hands or whatsoever. She is the first Chinese girl I've gone out with, and I'm confused if this is Aimei. Also not sure about chinese dating, but if she goes cold(not respond to message as much etc), is it expected of me to pursue?
Thank you for the advice, it's really useful to know what should have to say or what to do as trying to get into a relationship with someone who is from your country 😃👍
Sa Jiao doesn't really have word just a slang term which would be " attention getter" or the phrase" puppy eyes" also works as in when a puppy gives you that look you can't refuse even after you scratched his belly a 100 times.
What if she told me we can just be friends? Should i give up? Or we dont fit?
Nice video and I can learn new words!
It's really sad to see many of my friends in China which are 剩女 (leftover woman, what a cruel word btw) not because they actually are, but it's the society that says so. Some of them are really under pressure.
The expression you’re not sure of is „pouting“. ☺️
Clever teaching and also great acting. ShuoshuoChinese is awesome
@6:29 I think it means pouting
I know about the gift for family when visiting. I don't understand the reason or it, but I think it's a good idea.
The way your expression changed after you said “!请进 请进” 🤣I died
Hi beautiful how are you doing
I think allot of Asian cultures are similar. I live in Cambodia and you basically explained how dating works here. From playing hard to get to gift giving (especially iPhone) and meeting the parents. When I meet someone new they don't ask me what is my name or how old are you. They ask me if I am married yet and how much money I make.
Same in Kazakhstan
Entertaining and educational. Thank you so much!
Wow - this was good fun :) Well done.
Great video! Also, you're really funny 👍
Thank you. I am better prepared now.
I’m a little bit confused, I don’t know if my “ex-boyfriend “ behavior is part of the Chinese culture or not, but we have been dating only for 1 week, and he says I don’t love him because I don’t move with him right away (he is 37). But he barely knows my Chinese name , he doesn’t bother to get to know me , how can I live with someone who I just met, and doesn’t want to know me first ?
Am I wrong ??? Am I too western ?
no, you are not
That's called a "red flag" aka, a warning sign someone has serious issues and will drag you down with them. Be careful.
TingYu Chen thanks, I really felt bad, I thought I wasn’t understanding the culture, but still something tells me that it wasn’t right
Daniel Richardson I don’t think there’s a culture on this planet where you just see someone, you date twice, you fall in love and want to live with that person right away without knowing anything about each other (we have to use a translator for those few times I wanted to order something at the restaurant). I just wanted to make sure that I was right about not accepting his love -lol
@@jimenawaltero8784 it sounds like he has control issues
Thank you for the video. Learned a lot from it.
Are "good morning" and "good night" texts concidered as a sign of special attention? I thought they were only indicators of politeness..
With friends you can just be casual. Wishing someone good morning with no additional context shows affection. Good night as well. But sending those messages without further context to her/his parents out of politness... would be weird, to say the least. This coincides with all the modern cultures i have met so far
That really seems like a waste of time to me haha
Yay funny and helpful and warmhearted video 👍🤗
You are a very good actress!
‘sa jiao’ is probably something like Korean aegyo, I guess🙂
Yup! Or Japanese amae 甘え
Like 흥칫뿡
True
you are right. They are the same.
hahaha, best video ever!!!, Well... now I´m not sure if I´m ready to fall in love with a beautiful Chinese woman... I really love this video, you are amazing!!! .
You should have a great future as an actor, love your dramas 😅
Loved this video, thank you
Just the video i was looking for. Thank you for doing so funny 🙈
Sa jiao is kind of like "tampo" in tagalog,, cool
i am 26 years old i am single but i never thought about dating and my mom wanted me to get married although i been focusing on my life most friend talk to me getting a girlfriend already and somefriend on facebook or working mate
撒娇 Seems to be the same as the Korean Aegyo. Aegyo has kind of morphed to be just acting cute in general regardless of gender but it was originally used more for girls acting like that with boyfriends. It's also similar to how kids will act cute or whiny to get what they want too.
Lol your “Mum” character is just like my Chinese mother-in-law. I now have a good job, own an apartment and married her daughter but now she wants a grandchild because my wife is over 30. I’m younger and am not ready but she is putting pressure on my wife to have a kid. I guess that’s a big culture difference as here in the UK, there is no pressure to have children or get married.
I am so over people pushing others to have children. Make it stop ✋. Think hard before you do and regret it later. You don’t have to have children. ❤️
You could suggest your mother in law that she should birth thr kid snd you and your wife will be happy to take care of her...
Amazing video, as usual :D
Next time I'll go to China I will probably meet my gf's parents, this video gave me the right amount of anxiety about it ahahahah.
What kind of presents are usually brought in these kinds of situations? 🤔
Well, it depends on what they like, wine, scarf, local food and snacks will be great!
Awesome video! Subscribed!
Thank you :)
I like this video, I met a Chinese girl and we're getting serious, so I'm very interested in the Chinese culture, what Chinese women think... 🏆🏆🏆
Your channel is really exceptional! I wanted to m̶a̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ subscribe, but I've already subscribed :)
BTW I also love your choice of Chinese fonts in your videos!
We have an equivalent of sa jiao in Polish :D It’s called foch” (pronounciation: foh).
i love these videos. they're so gooood!
Good video and very informative. I want to GO to Shenzhen.
Hello. I'd like to ask a question. In terms of meeting each other parents in Chinese culture, is it usually the man who brings his gf first, or is it the woman? Thank you for your answer🙂
老师好 . I am Chinese American and so I can relate to some of the things mentioned. Thank you for your fine acting; I got some laughs out it. Your mom is pretty; I have an image of what you may look like years from now. I learned some useful vocabulary words from this video. Thanks again!
That’s the nicest thing I have ever heard about my acting!Hahaha
I am Australian and I have been dating a Chinese woman in her 50s for about 3 weeks now. But I'm confused ? She has brought a few times when I will buy a house,so we can be together in just a few months. Us Australians like to get to know how partners and then maybe get married in a few years time. I am put off by these demands so early. We love each other very much but these constant questions are hindering my confidence to continue this relationship?
"Olive you!" 😍that was great
I'm probably need lots of help . . . Talk about no pressure 🤣🤣 it's worth it!! She's really special and I'll do whatever it takes for her 🙂
Funny, awesome video. Thanks for the tips and I think it's cute.