I Became Dad's Caregiver At 29: My Top Tips On Dealing With Dementia
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- Опубликовано: 15 июн 2024
- At 29, Daniel Lim became his family’s sole breadwinner when his dad, Peter, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease while his mum was receiving treatment for breast cancer. Back in 2009, caregiving resources were scarce, and Daniel had to deal with financial woes, loneliness and caregiver’s burnout.
14 years on, Daniel has created a support system that taps on his neighbours, friends and even the neighbourhood barber to help with caregiving responsibilities. He also co-founded Enable Asia, a support group for fellow caregivers.
In this video, Daniel shares the lessons he learnt in 15 years of caregiving and tips on how to make it work.
00:00 Intro
01:13 Make lists to help with independent living
02:13 Routines to maintain motor skills
03:41 Friends help to check in
04:05 Neighbourhood search party activated
05:13 Dementia forgetfulness: Playing along
07:02 How dementia patient feels about being disrespected
08:54 Should you put them in diapers?
11:27 Resources for caregivers
Peter Lim appears in the 2-part documentary, Sing To Remember, about 9 individuals living with dementia and their loved ones who learn to perform as a choir.
• Can Singing Slow Demen...
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Daniel is a the definition of a good son, a strong man and kind human being.
All my respect to you Daniel. You're doing a great work. Now don't forget yourself, it will also make your parents happy.
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
I am a caregiver of a 19-year-old autistic son. Totally can relate to what Daniel is doing. And I have a lot of respect for him. He is an excellent role model as a Singapore son.
I am sorry for that, have you ever tried to appoint integrative and naturopathic doctors? As I know autism is reversible when the cause of neuroinflammation is detected it is possiable to ease or even get rid of that disease
@@nurinuri7389autism is not a disease, it's the way the brain is wired. It cannot be reversed, but through early intervention and training, the individual can adapt to daily living independently. My son is now 25, he is now in NS. He's able to take care of me when I'm sick by following specific instructions and calming encouragement.
Hi there. Same situation with a friend. They are using Bromantane, which helps increase serotonin levels in the brain and can improve social behavior in individuals with autism, such as increasing eye contact and reducing repetitive behaviors, which they get from Nextchems. And seeing good results. Hope this one helps too.
There is no cure for autism. It may sound harsh but with autism, early intervention and therapy such ABA or CBT may help, yet not cure. We should embrace neurodiversity and differences. Coming from a parent of a child with ASD, it is my wish to see Singaporeans accept differences and include different abilities. Autism can’t be cured but we learn to manage his sensory issues, behaviours, use explicit instructions and visuals to teach thought of mind at a level he is able to comprehend. Take care and wish you all the best ❤
We can only do the best we can for as long as we can for the ones we love so dearly. Thank you for being a caregiver.
Mad respect for Daniel. His parents have raised him well. And such lovely neighbours.
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness. Neighbours are my extended family!
Daniel is a tender, committed and profoundly reflective son..how he is taking care of them is probably a mirror of how they took care of him..
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness. You are absolutely right, role modelling my mum and dad's approach to caring for my grandmother left me with the family values and upbringing that I needed to be able to care for my folks today.
I love what Daniel said: “It is not a burden. It’s a choice, but it comes with a lot of sacrifice.” Thank you for being a role model to what the younger generations should aspire to move towards in order to create a more compassionate and loving society. 从家开始. Love the community set up and support in the neighbourhood too.
for 85 yrs old, his dad still looking good and dad can read without glasses. Son is doing amazing job, bless them❤
Thank you for watching and your kind words of encouragement.
Grandfather passed away from dementia a couple years ago, Daniels father reminds me a lot of him. It definitely isn't easy but when they do eventually pass you'll be glad you put in the time to care for them
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
Massive respect to Daniel. Being a carer certainly is not an easy thing. Hope you look after yourself too 😊
A big Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness. Self-care is important too.
Uncle and Aunty raise such a good son. Keep up the good work Daniel. What you are doing is inspirational.
Values, upbringing and family ethos. Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
Bless you Daniel for giving your parents the right to dignified aging. You are a son to be admired indeed.
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness. Dignity and respect. Much needed but often ignored.
Hi daniel…. If u are reading this…. May love surround uncle, auntie and urself always and never feel alone… all of us are rooting for u… on not so great days, pls do rem that u are human too… like wat dad says… we are humans and we make mistakes! Thank you for showing love the way u do with ur daddy and mummy
We can only do the best we can for as long as we can for the ones we love so dearly!
Daniel, thank you for sharing. I had a similar experience being the main and only caregiver for my mom when I was 28 years old. Having to juggle work and mental struggles for being saddened by my moms illness was not an easy feat. Like you’ve shared, most peers our age then, wouldn’t be able to understand us, the caregivers of our parents. I thought my experience was tough, but have always felt it was a blessing. I was given the chance to take care of my mom in her final days, as her one and only daughter. It was an honor. Hence I get what u meant in the video when mentioning that it isn’t a burden, it’s a choice. So beautifully worded. I cannot imagine the stress and sadness you’ve had to go through at the onset of your parents condition. I was already struggling, but you had twice the struggle of mine. You have my utmost respect for doing this for 15 years even. You are a great son and person. Wish I can meet you someday. Glad you hav helpful neighbours to aid you and your dad. Such supportive community, I wish I had that support but I’m glad I gave my all despite the pain during my moms final year. Wishing you the very best. Please keep it up and do reach out if you need any help. ❤
Daniel's tips are excellent for anyone who takes care of others. Thank you.
When I was going through this journey at the very start, there wasn't much information available anywhere, now, we have wonderful platforms like this to share and connect with others. Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
I am a caregiver to my dad who has dementia and my mom who has severe osteoarthritis...totally can relate to Daniel's caregiving journey.
Totally respect to Daniel for his commitment to taking care of his parents!
Thank you for walking this caregiver journey together, whenever I feel down and out, I will remember that I am not walking this journey alone.
Both of you @imdaniellim and @jes7798 are such good children to your parents. Whenever you feel discouraged, please remember that you are blessed to have opportunities to take care of your parents. This will lead you to a good journey to even your next lives as being good to your parents is hugely meritorious, perhaps the biggest merits of all. Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, angels and your own good deeds will always protect you. Anumodana to you both. Sadhu Sadhu. 😊 🙏🙏🙏 (This video made me cry.)
@@imdaniellim Both of you and @jes7798 are such good children to your parents. Whenever you feel discouraged, please remember that you are blessed to have opportunities to take care of your parents. This will lead you to a good journey to even your next lives as being good to your parents is hugely meritorious, perhaps the biggest merits of all. Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, angels and your own good deeds will always protect you. Anumodana to you both. Sadhu Sadhu. 😊 🙏🙏🙏 (This video made me cry.)
He's amazing! Wish him nothing but happiness, he deserves it so so much
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
People with dementia still experience feelings even though they may forget easily. Most people end up putting their elderly to nursing home due to circumstances. Kudos to daniel for spending time with your dad, to make him feel loved all the time. This kind of family bonding is priceless even though it can be tough.
This video makes me cry. Thanks Daniel, thanks Pa and Ma for teaching me what actually matters in life.
Things that truly matters, everyone is different, we make these choices everyday. I guess mine was a decision that would give me closure when it's said and done. Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
Daniel is a very good son. So life-giving to his parents. He is a blessing to them.
Such a heart-warming story. All respect to Daniel, because looking after seniors is not easy at all. Im so touched at their family's bond and love, wish them all the best ❤
We can only do the best we can for as long as we can. Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
keep going Daniel!! Caregiver stress is always there but you managed to find your way around it. Daniel, you're a really strong and respectable man!! I hope your family live well and stay healthy!! Take good care of yourself too Daniel!!
"respect their dignity and wishes"
honestly a great tip i'll keep in mind for when it's my turn to take care of my parents.
caregiver burnout is always a hazard but it's nice to see from the video that you have a support system (friends/neighbours) going so i hope that helps a little.
on another note all the best to you daniel i hope life is fulfilling and may you be rewarded for all the effort and sacrifices you have put in so far!
Hard to imagine Uncle Peter has been living with alzheimers for past 15 years! He sounds coherent and lucid! Daniel has definitely been proactive in his caregiving journey. Great sharing. Much respect for Daniel and the parents. Challenging situation but I see so much respect, love, care and resilience!
Good Lord, this is so so so impactful! Thank you for sharing this very candid episode. What a wonderful teacher this young man is to us the viewers from around the world.
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness. Happy to take the sharing, anywhere else in the world. Family values, bonding, closure are universal I guess.
highest respect !!!! the 2 most important persons are our parents!
Kudos to you for taking care of your parents. You are a good son. My father lived till 94 years before he passed.
This is such a heartwarming story, Daniel is truly an inspiration and he shows and proves that yes , even though in life we have many challenges but when we choose to serve others whole heartedly, always putting others well being above our own, our life can be so fulfilling and meaningful. Bravo to you Daniel !
We have limited time to make choices in life. Meaning and purpose are things I value in life. Plus we only live life once. Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
Daniel, u are an amazing son and man! U will reap exactly all the good u have put put into the universe, I just know it. A role model indeed
A tough and cheerful father, mother and son.
Total respect.
Such a beautiful family. Daniel you are doing such an amazing job. You are so courageous. I am an only child too already starting my caregiving path with my family, so to see someone like you persevere so bravely as you do means everything to me. I wish you all the absolute best moving forward. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your lives with us, it is so important to talk about this.
Daniel must also keep himself in good health. Looking after the elderly is demanding especially when they need special attention. I know for I had gone through it myself. Keep strong.
May you always be blessed Daniel, you are a good, loving, caring son to your parents. Heaven is smiling.
Am a caregiver too.. And soon am going to deal with a dementia patient . thanks for extra this tips originally from you. ❤
Adult kids in Asian culture normally take care of their elder parents. I am Asian myself but it become more rare in this modern society. The kids leave the nest and rarely put in much effort for their parents. The most my brother does is drop by weekly and give them $10 gift, like a pineapple or watermelon. Never try to cut their grass or anything. Kids these days are very useless. I have a son myself and not counting on their love when I’m old.
He is a rare one. Good job caring for your parents
Such positive mindset, you are doing great looking after your parents Daniel such dedications 👍 Your video gives a glimpse of hope to those who maybe going through the same experience. Thank you!
Stay healthy physically, mentally n spiritually. Treasure the time with your parents n live with no regrets n will be richly rewarded. Thanks for sharing this video.
You remind me to my father daily things. Drink medicine , go to clinic, simple exercise.. the amazing thing is can fix a car that make his brain and body working even almost get stroke... Thank you.. GOD ALWAYS BLESS YOU BRO
Dear Daniel,
God bless you and your family. You will be blessed for honoring your parents.
Pleasure to watch your interaction with your dear parents ❤❤❤
Thank God for a filial son. Wonderful to see the care this young man gives his parents.
❤ DANIEL ~ U’re amazing , your DAD looks great still & can read very well still .
🙏 GOD Bless U & Parents Always . 😘
Thankful for sharing your precious family story.Wishing you and parents many good years ahead, God Bless 🎉😊
What a great son ❤ keep up the good work 👍
Wow, what a great sharing. Make us really happy and touched by your achievement. God bless you and your parents.
What a fantastic son! And superb parents. Thank you for sharing, educating and inspiring others.
Beautiful! What lovely parents and what a good son!
Had attended Daniel's course about dementia. He shared his stories about his parents.. Thank you for sharing and creating awareness on dementia.. 🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍
Thank you for attending in person class as well as your words of encouragement.
Daniel is a good son and he is doing his best to care for his parents. Wow!, such filial son, where to find nowadays.😮 Hats off to Daniel, my huge respect for his good deeds and empathy ❤He is an inspector. God bless Daniel and his parents. Amen 🙏
Such a cute family 🥰 Mad respect to Daniel. Makes me smile just by watching this video :) May God bless this family🫶🏻
Well done mate. I have. alot to learn from you. Thanks
Only lucky parents whom get taking care of their children in this situation.
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
May Daniel be blessed for being a filial son and taking care of a Dementia father .
Is not easy to handle the situation it’s very challenging.
You done well Daniel. Respect !
I was a divorcee and stayed with my elderly parents until their last journey, i was the caregiver to them too. Kudos to Dan. I wish your family all the best!
Inspiring very well, Daniel!
You are an Amazing son,care giver and have helped me in caring for someone in my family.
Havebeen taking care of my mum with dementia for 4 years. As he says its not a burden its a choice with many sacrifices. I was willing do it for my mum. She is worth it and deserves it. Its not only about you its also about doing something meaningful for a loved one. Imagine willing to help others but not willing to help your parents and instead putting them in a home.
The love of God is in the center of it all in this family! Thank you, Holy Father ❤
my mother was diagnosed with alzheimer's when she at her 70's.. Now she is 74 and living with me for the past few years. Good thing your dad can still read and socialize. My mother doesn't any of that at all. Lost in speech, blunt affection, can't do minial task even drinking water and going to the bathroom. Highly dependent with care. Taking care of this type of menacing disease is difficult. I can relate. Challenging at the same time frustrating. It exhaust all your energy and patience. Your tips and advice seems like I've done it all before I watched this video.
Respect for you and the parents. ❤
Kudos to this guy! 👏
You r t greatest son Daniel. GOD Bless u n family ❤
Daniel.. its good video. You hv a courage n support your parents. Salute you . Very good man! God bless..
Beautiful family x you are all very blessed
A filial son.. Never easy to be a full time care giver.
Bless u Daniel. ❤
Your father said it --- you're a good son, Daniel. I'm amazed. Say hello to your father. For an 85 year old, he's still looking goooood 👍🏽 I'm 59 and taking care of my 83 year old mother who was diagnosed with dementia 3 years ago.
Full respect. What a wonderful son❤❤❤❤
Hi Daniel, I recently learned that dementia, cancer and many other sickness is because of the food we eat.
Sugar, bread, milk are very Inflammatory to our gut.. you may want to try changing their diet and see if it helps? You can also watch some RUclips videos regarding "leaky gut and dementia"
It is so encouraging to see how much you love your parents with both words and actions. And glad you are surrounded by a good community to help you...
God bless you for looking after your parents
Many blessings to Daniel 🙏 You are a good son.
Daniel jiayou! Rooting for u. 👍
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
My mom is a caregiver to 89-year-old lady who has dementia so I can totally relate Because I help my mom with a lot of the caregiving
Hi. Good Job Daniel. Your parents are able To walk and do simple activities. My loved one is a person with Dementia and muscle
Rigidity at the same time; wheelchair bound and can’t do the ADL.
CNA can you feature patient living with Lewy Body Dementia with Parkinson’s symptoms and their caregiver?
His parents are very very lucky to have daniel as a son.
Wow! Can emphasize too!# Good job Daniel!#
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
can related to his condition😊 be strong and do not get ill in anyway! you have old parents to take care of...💪💪👍
God bless you Daniel.
Daniel, you are such a good son ❤
Try not to think too much on what age you are at when you become your parents caregiver. Just accept it and do your best without regrets and resentment if your relationship with your parents are not bad. Because this day does come for most of us eventually one day.
This is our duty and fate as human beings. We cant escape it.
Jiayou.
Thank you Daniel for taking good care of gugu and uncle Peter!
Thank you for watching and your support, my dearest cousins.
Daniel you have my respect
Inspirational... :)
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
I am touched ❤ 😢
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
Good man, Daniel
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
Cherish the time spent with your parents and practice filial piety in a timely manner. 👍🏼👏🏼
珍惜與父母共處的歲月，能及時行孝。
👍🏼👏🏼
He’s a true man
Salute to you Daniel :)
respect
good son ar. so young. give up his life...good son.
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
I don't know if they're taking supplements to slow down their dementia but some pharmacists highly recommended tocotrienols (produced from palm oil~ brand Natrieol 100mg or Tocovid 100mg)), & EPA + DHA supplements (brand Jarrow), also to prevent stroke, parkinson. No harm trying if can help them
What a sweet Doggie 😍
Hi there. I am also a caregiver for dementia. My suggestion for you is that never give them statin (statin is killer for longger periode of time) and try to avoid sugar at your best (including simple source as anything from processed food as in flour) but used a lot of fibre you would see best result. And the sugar better from fresh fruit.
Dementia patients still have a very sharp mind only it appears at random time that is the problem but if they were trained before it still working
Can you help me understand what is meant by “ statin is a killer?” Thanks
@@yen8757 The side effect of it on long term very bad.
It activated certain part of brain and make the dementia patient very sensitive and cannot sleep at all and become nervous during the night. All the past keep coming. Very sensitive to light and noise.
If the patient really resist don't want to take it anymore, a scary and fast loose of muscle happen. Even if the patient very good in motoric before because the muscle is well trained just within a week will lose the muscle. Worse than stroke patient that have to do the bed rest
I guess the myelin is totally naked no more protected eventhough some memory of past randomly will appears.
@@yen8757 If it can destroy muscle that fast I cannot imagine how about other organ inside that also had some muscle. Just because we cannot see it doesn't mean it is not affected the organ.
Just try to go with diet high in fibre it will help alot and as long as possible don't take the statin. I believe our body equipped with self recovery as long as we do the right maintenance. Because sleeping pil is against the statin and could kill the patient and could cause cardiac rest during sleep. Meanwhile all human still need sleep and it will affect the emotion and hormones
No recovery will ever happen without proper sleep or rest. So statin actually make everything worsen
One question: How have you been supporting yourself and parents financially? Full time caregiver or do you have a job?
Filial son 👍.
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
In my case my mum is wheelchair bound and dementia and deaf on both ears. As she had a hip replacement and can't walk. Dad had cancer relapse over the last 8 years three times. So the above case both parents are still mobile so not as worst to the one I am getting through as a single daughter. Mum need feeding, going to toilet etc.
😢😢😢😢 thats a lot of responsibilities u r soing great for your parents. God bless you
Respect to you❤
Thank you all for the encouragement...
sorry 😢
@@hannahh1691 thanks Hannah for empathizing. Not a lot of ppl will understand.
Honestly...Take Care of PARENTS (Aging Parents)...is NOT an EASY Task...But Salute to Daniel...coz of his Patience n Sacrifice....Devoted to his Parents...As n XS'porean i know Not many Young S'poreans want to LOOK after their Aging Parents...but Daniel....Is Different.....
We all make choices in life, it is also a big part of the values system we have at home. I don't want to be 80 and have lots of regrets and not having to have closure with my loved ones. Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness and encouragement.
I was a care giver for my 85 years old mom until I have no option but to place her in a nursing home now..
Respect the effort to look after yourself. 🎉it is never easy.
Choices in life are never easy. There is no right or wrong. Hope mummy is doing well in the nursing home? Thank you for watching!
南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨庇佑，南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨庇佑，南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨庇佑，一切众生，福慧增长，福报增长，财富增长，吉祥如意。
南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨🙏
❤️
Good loving son
Thank you for watching and appreciate the words of kindness.
@@imdaniellim yes definitely
Went through a similar process with moms cancer journey
It’s not easy but we are given such test at a young age
It requires alot of sacrifice and love
Not many people may understand
Well done and keep going 💪
this s a class s ranked cross sections.