A question about the person we direct our Metta towards (the spiritual friend). Bhante Vimalaramsi seemed pretty serious that they were of the same sex. I'm guessing that was because we don't want to have any confusion about longing, craving or lust towards them? Does that instruction hold solid for those who are same sex attracted?
Yes it is the same instruction but please pick someone who there is no thoughts of lust for. Its just helpful to not "fall in love" with the spiritual friend. Pick a monk if you like.
There is a warmth, glow - A vibratory feeling that comes after awhile. You smile into it and let it be and it ebs and flows -but always be staying with your object which is your spiritual friend or yourself.
@DhammasukhaOrg I realize this is not breath meditation, but the breath can significantly effect the physical feelings in the chest and heart areas. They can change with the in and out. Any advice as to how to handle this ( best work with this)? Thanks
@@madogblue You can ignore the breath completely. The feeling that arises won't have anything to do with it. Allow whatever feeling is there but pay no special attention to the breath.
@@tomtillman Just let it be there like any sound in the room or feeling in the body. Just release your attention from those and go back to your spiritual friend.
So if I'm understanding this right, the practice is not just feeling the metta but more of having the glowy feeling present and sending it towards myself/spiritual friend. In other words if the spiritual friend is not present anymore but metta is still there we need to feel their presence again and put it in the heart? Thanks :)
Yes to all. Feel the feeling. But not just that. Give it to your friend. Always have both feeling and object of feeling there at same time. Without an object the feeling just disappears.
@@davidjohnson8218 Hi David, I've tried your advice and was able to feel some piti in the head :). However there were times when I bring up the spiritual friend it feels like I have to be aware of two things at once and my attention go back and forth between feeling the friend and metta. It gets hard to settle down because there is always the intention of trying to see both at the same time. Any advice? With metta
@@ちょべんべん I think you are over thinking this. If you sit down and look across the table at someone and smile at them and feel lovingkindness for them that's all that's necessary. Just smile and feel lovingkindness for the friend. You are just wishing lovingkindness. That's all. Now the feeling will get larger and will start to be around the heart area -put more attention to this glowing feeling and smile into that with just a little reference back to the friend. But don't do that until its coming up - 10-20 min into the sitting at first. Be patient and let the lovingkindness gradually arise from the smile and wish and then just be with it.
Same with me. Piti can manifest in many different ways. For me, it’s often a tingly feeling, much like the feeling of goosebumps near the top of my head.
A family member isn't used at first because the relationship sometimes can be too complicated. We want someone outside the family circle with less personal connections. Later you can use your family but for now just use a friend, a monk, a teacher. Uncomplicated friendship.
Thank you for sharing these excellent instructions!
A question about the person we direct our Metta towards (the spiritual friend). Bhante Vimalaramsi seemed pretty serious that they were of the same sex.
I'm guessing that was because we don't want to have any confusion about longing, craving or lust towards them? Does that instruction hold solid for those who are same sex attracted?
Yes it is the same instruction but please pick someone who there is no thoughts of lust for. Its just helpful to not "fall in love" with the spiritual friend. Pick a monk if you like.
Is the warmth in the heart area a metaphor, or are you supposed to actually feel a physical warmth?
thanks.
There is a warmth, glow - A vibratory feeling that comes after awhile. You smile into it and let it be and it ebs and flows -but always be staying with your object which is your spiritual friend or yourself.
@DhammasukhaOrg I realize this is not breath meditation, but the breath can significantly effect the physical feelings in the chest and heart areas. They can change with the in and out. Any advice as to how to handle this ( best work with this)? Thanks
@@madogblue You can ignore the breath completely. The feeling that arises won't have anything to do with it. Allow whatever feeling is there but pay no special attention to the breath.
@@davidjohnson8218 So, it's ok to be aware of it? You are not TRYING to ignore it? (the breath)
@@tomtillman Just let it be there like any sound in the room or feeling in the body. Just release your attention from those and go back to your spiritual friend.
So if I'm understanding this right, the practice is not just feeling the metta but more of having the glowy feeling present and sending it towards myself/spiritual friend. In other words if the spiritual friend is not present anymore but metta is still there we need to feel their presence again and put it in the heart? Thanks :)
Yes to all. Feel the feeling. But not just that. Give it to your friend. Always have both feeling and object of feeling there at same time. Without an object the feeling just disappears.
@@davidjohnson8218 Hi David, I've tried your advice and was able to feel some piti in the head :). However there were times when I bring up the spiritual friend it feels like I have to be aware of two things at once and my attention go back and forth between feeling the friend and metta. It gets hard to settle down because there is always the intention of trying to see both at the same time. Any advice? With metta
@@ちょべんべん I think you are over thinking this. If you sit down and look across the table at someone and smile at them and feel lovingkindness for them that's all that's necessary. Just smile and feel lovingkindness for the friend. You are just wishing lovingkindness. That's all. Now the feeling will get larger and will start to be around the heart area -put more attention to this glowing feeling and smile into that with just a little reference back to the friend. But don't do that until its coming up - 10-20 min into the sitting at first. Be patient and let the lovingkindness gradually arise from the smile and wish and then just be with it.
that makes more sense! Thank you david@@davidjohnson8218
I feel it, or something like it, but all the energy seems to be focused at the head, I dont feel it in my heart
Same with me. Piti can manifest in many different ways. For me, it’s often a tingly feeling, much like the feeling of goosebumps near the top of my head.
@@hansenmarc I have the same feeling. Like small fingers touching/massaging my forehead. Nothing in the chest.
This is actually a good thing. Perhaps @DhammasukhaOrg can expand?
why spiritual friend cant be a family member?
A family member isn't used at first because the relationship sometimes can be too complicated. We want someone outside the family circle with less personal connections. Later you can use your family but for now just use a friend, a monk, a teacher. Uncomplicated friendship.